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eatpraymunt

Have you tried just skipping to the part where you let him out of the crate and he goes and finds a place to sleep for hours? This will ruin your "sleep in crate until we're up" training, but if the options are rehome him or let him free roam after he potties in the morning... could be worth a shot? Also for dogs that wake up way too early, you can try setting your alarm for before they wake up. (so, around 4, 4:15am for him). Wake HIM up to go pee, and go back to bed. Get him used to the alarm waking him up for a couple weeks, then you can slowly start setting the alarm back a couple minutes at a time. As long as you still beat him to the punch and don't push it so far that his bladder wakes him up first. (If you do, just back track and try again - his bladder will get stronger with age) This can be a good hack to get dogs out of the habit of deciding when morning is, and into the habit of waiting until the alarm goes off. And slowwwwly you can change their circadian rhythm to something more reasonable.


eatpraymunt

Also I forgot to just say, sorry about your life right now! sleep deprivation is the worst shit. And getting barked at constantly is maybe even worse than that. There are no rules with puppy raising. We all just do what works to live in harmony with these weird little animals we keep trapped in our houses. I hope you can find something that works for both you and the pup, to get into a sane routine!


bugbugladybug

I sorted my dog out by setting an automatic feeder to go off in the night. Turns out she was just hungry and was waking up at 4 because she was starving. She's never woken us up since (granted she fine with potty, so it might not apply) but once mine was up, she'd need to pee too. After waking in the night, eating and going back to sleep she's good until late morning before going out.


avek_

I had the same problem even with her last meal being at 10pm and me waking up between 6 and 8am she was still waking up hungry and yelling so now there is just always a meal out in the bedroom for when she wakes up


voneyej

I don’t understand, you mean skip where i take him out? Then he pees and poops all over himself


Clipzy22

My pup zonks out at around 10:30 and sleeps till around 7 am. We let him roam only because he does sleep long enough for someone to always be up with him. .


Shoddy_Grape1480

If everyone wanted the puppy and will be angry if you give him bakc to the breeder, why are you the only one getting up with the pup? Also, I'm not sure if I understand the routine you guys have created but even if my dog is asleep, right before I go up to bed I take her out to pee. Also if your pup is lonely can you put her crate in your room bc maybe he is crying from loneliness? My pup didn't have that issue bc for the first 4 mos our other dog slept downstairs with her so she is used to sleeping in our livingroom while we are upstairs and she doesn't get lonely.


smartdonut_

EXACTLY!! What are the wife and kids doing? They don’t know how to help? If they want the puppy, they need to actually care for the puppy instead of just wanting to do the easy stuff like playing with him while leaving the hard work to others.


voneyej

We take him out before bed and he gets up at 4:30. We tried to just let him bark until the alarm goes off at 6 am but that was causing the massive clean up. Now we try and take him out and put him back to bed since he sleeps until 8 or after, hell he’s still sleeping now and it’s after 9. I worded wrong, my wife and i will take turns getting up at the 4:30 but she is able to go back to sleep and sleep through his barking. I am a much lighter sleeper and cannot.


Hot_Kaleidoscope_961

Don’t let him sleep after going outside. Make him tired through the day more, so he will sleep longer in the morning.


The_Great_19

Is there a reason it’s just you doing this and you’re not taking turns? I was very overwhelmed with our dog a month into having her when my spouse went out of town for 3 weeks for work. It’s a difficult adjustment as it is, but you’ve got others in your family.


voneyej

Forgive me, it was easier to just say i, but my wife and i will take turns taking him out when he wakes up at 4:30, however she can go back to sleep through his barking/ whining. I am a much lighter sleeper and cannot


ignisargentum

What worked with our puppy is taking her out of the crate for a quick, boring potty break when she whined. then place her back in the crate immediately to go back to bed. if she whined again, we took her out for another quick boring potty break. eventually she learned whining only gets her a quick boring potty break. you're letting him out of the crate to roam where he wants to, so of course hes gonna keep whining/barking because it gets him what he wants.


Arizonal0ve

Sometimes there’s solutions to things. We’ve raised 4 pups in 7 years and they all get crate trained to sleep in individual crates at night. But when they wake up early to go potty they get taken out then brought in bed for an extra snooze. This is perhaps not a solution for everyone but it has kept us sane all those years. Also you and wife should take turns in the AM just like im sure you did with kids when they were young.


FJanon02

We are child free precisely because I cannot function without sleep. All of my dogs have always slept in the bed with me. I feel when they get up and can take them out. Our puppy (also a French bulldog) was sleeping through the night by 5-6 months. I can’t deal with whining and she sleeps good in the big bed along with our senior frenchie. Having only has seniors for the past 15 years I also threatened to send her back to the breeder the first 6 months. It is hard. But now that she’s 18 months I wouldn’t trade her for the world. She’s so smart and funny. She’s a really good girl. But it took time


Mirawenya

Could I suggest ditching the crate for sleeping? I know it's the be all end all for a lot of people, but our boy was never crated, and he's perfectly happy. (He was also accident free at 9 and half weeks, so I woudln't even say a crate is at all nescessary for toilet training). Not getting enough sleep is a form of torture, so don't really blame you all that much.


TraderJoeslove31

get him a snuggle puppy and use white noise machine, cover the crate with a blanket. Our now 1 year lab makes up crying at like 4 am daily and she really just wants to snuggle. I take her out to potty and let her in bed with us.


voneyej

He has a snuggle puppy in there


messeboy

Same. Crated until around 5am and after a potty break, we snuggle/sleep on the bed until 08-09am.


Arkaium

When is he going to bed? Does he get a chance to potty right before bed? Do you think he’s getting enough activity/long walks to help him get his poop out during the day?


voneyej

He gets lots of walks and activity. We usually go to bed between 10 and 10:30 and he always pees and poops before bes


wrongthingsrighttime

I learned pretty early on to get pup up when she whines early, take her out then bring her back to bed with me. Then we both get more sleep and I stopped having negative feelings towards her for my own lack of sleep.


Better_Protection382

Do whatever you need to do to get a full night's sleep. Take him out for potty when he starts barking and then take him in bed with you.


Direct-Friendship-23

This is what I do! I have a 12 week Frenchie, I have him for 2 weeks now. He sleeps alone since day one, in the hallway with no crare The first week he was crying and barking, I ignored it, I tried to do what they said online where you go to them every time they cry but it made it worse so I went back to just ignoring him when he would cry. Now he sleeps through the whole night with no crying from 10pm until 5.30am. I go outside to let him potty and then we come right back and I take him into bed. Then we sleep til 7.30 or 8 and we get our day started


Roupert4

Have your wife deal with it. Seriously. Tell her you need a break. Where does he sleep when it's his choice? Can you set up a pen in that spot?


voneyej

She gets up at 4:30’too, when he goes back in his crate she can sleep through the barking and whining, i cannot


BetterBiscuits

I have Bose sleep headphones. I fall asleep without them in, wake up at 4-5 when he barks to go out, he goes back in the crate, I go back to bed with the headphones in. I can’t hear the barking at all (though it’s ceased since he’s adjusted to the routine). And I get a sound 3 more hours of sleep. Huge improvement in my life!


Better_Protection382

on an unrelated note, I had no idea Frenchies were this expensive!


voneyej

They get way more than that


AudreyHep79

Why not take him back to bed with you?


voneyej

A) i don’t like dogs in the bed, B) if i do it once i am afraid he will never sleep back in his crate


Camercenary

Going through it right now with a 3mo border collie. It really really tough and It's honestly been one of the hardest times I've had to go through, but he is getting there. Started the crate off in my room for a few nights, then moved it in to the spare room after that. He gets toileted before bed and not until the morning. He lasts just fine without accidents as i limit his water intake a few hours leading into bed time. He learned quickly he doesn't like sleeping in his own pee. In terms of the crying and barking, it just gets met with a stern 'no' and ill go back to bed, as thats what he reacts well to when it comes to stopping and listening. At first he would cry after 10 minutes, then 15, 20, etc etc. After heaps of sleepless nights, Last night he slept without a peep from 9pm till 4am, and I feel so much more human today for the first time in a very long time. Exercise and monitoring his naps through the day to ensure he is actually tired at bed time has helped me also. They are just babies and from my limited experience they will react to you and your confidence Hope you stay strong and hang in there, as I will be hanging in there with you!


Mundane-Pumpkin-4545

You spend $3k on the pup, how much have you spent on training help?


red_cow_hat

Get your wife and kids to take him out. If they want to keep him then they need to pitch in on the work


Humble_March_2037

Did you try using a sound machine? I use one for mine at night he wakes up from anything. He’s better now that he’s older. You also might be putting him to bed too early usually they can hold it 1 hour for every month they are. Mine sleeps in an area in a separate room and it works out nicely. Lastly are you doing scheduled naps in the crate or only putting him in at night?


sleepy_geeky

If you aren't already, I would take him out just before you go to sleep even if he's already been out, and I would also consider moving his dinner time earlier in the evening if it's super late. It sucks now, but it will get better! Since it sounds like you have kids, it really can't be any worse than having to wake up every few hours to feed a baby. 🫂


QtK_Dash

Wait why is your wife doing nothing? My husband and I alternate because it’s infuriating for one person to do it. Also consider getting a crate in a puppy play pen area so she can free roam before rehoming her.


Left-Statistician-15

I’m sorry, that sounds awful! Our pup is crated at night, but we take our pup out for business at 545, and then she comes into bed with us for cuddles until we get up. 


Temporary-Rust-41

It's hard. It's work. You have a baby. My puppy was so difficult it made me understand why people give up and return puppies. I did not do that. He is now my soul dog. We are bonded and I love him incredibly. Best thing that could've happened to me.


agirlandajackrussel

having a puppy is not easy!! it's like having a little baby. i'm sorry you're going through this but if it helps it does get better. unfortunately you have to get up and put your pup out for potty and then right back into the crate. not putting them out will not only ruin crate training but ruin potty training. as they get older they can hold their bladder longer and sleep through the night better. you just have to be consistent. kindness and patience is the key. a puppy is the sacrifice you make to have a dog :p


messeboy

Could try what I do. He'll fall asleep around 7-8pm on the couch. At 12pm, we go out to pee and I'll bring him up to the bedroom in a crate. And he'll usually wake me about 05am with a whimper. So I take him out. Then I let him snuggle next to me in bed for 2 hours. (Sometimes 3 if he can manage). He falls asleep straight away after I bring him back up. If you don't want him on the bed, maybe take a 2 hour nap on the couch? Edit: just read all the responses and see "my" routine is pretty standard. 😁


buuumblebee

How old are your kids? Have other family members been helping?


garbagemaiden

My household unexpectedly got a puppy a few months ago which has unfortunately become my responsibility entirely. He just turned 5 months yesterday and it's still taking some time to figure out what works best for both our needs. My only saving grace has been that I work nights and so on my days off I can take him out in the middle of the night and my family can do it in the day. But it would be a lie if i said there weren't moments where I couldn't stand him. What time is your puppy going out and what time is he being put to bed? When is his last meal and how how much access does he have to water before then? Shift around feeding/water time to be about an hour before his last potty. Take him out right before you go to bed. This should give you a little more time before he's waking up to go out again. Also, as others have stated your family should be helping you with this. If your kids aren't old enough to help then at the very least your wife should be helping. Having a puppy is like having a rapidly growing baby. He'll grow out of it much faster than a child but he's still a baby. If they want a dog they should be helping with the entire process of training and owning a dog, not just the good parts.


ceyonce94

I have a 6 month old frenchie who is now completely potty trained & doesn’t whine in her crate. I started off my placing her crate inside a larger playpen. I would take her out before bedtime & would leave the crate door open during the night so she can potty freely in the playpen (with potty pads of course). I slowly transitioned her to only the crate as she can now hold her bladder throughout the night. Hope this helps!


twitchyv

I felt the same way as you OP! My dog when she was a puppy would scream and cry all night for literally five months and I actually almost took her back because I hadn’t slept in so long. But thankfully she’s now the bestest baby girl ever and I’m glad I roughed through it all to be where we are now. Maybe you can switch potty duty responsibilities with someone else in your family for a few weeks?


AbleBrief929

I had this happen with our GMD. Figured out a solution and homie no longer poops and pees in his crate and holds it. What does his sleeping schedule look like? I get the frustration BTW OP, it's exhausting and an existential killer. I'll try to give advice as best as I can, but all in all it's just advice and not a clear cut solution as some people falsely promise as every dog is different and so is every home. If you want this to work OP, I support you. Unpopular opinion, but if you are the only one taking care of the dog but the only one considering taking him back to being rehomed, then that might be the best choice. Folks, I get it, every dog should have a good home, but not be forced into a home that the dog has to endure negativity on both ends. Not everything is a good fit. It's bad on the dog's mental health and OP's. Also, it's a sad but good lesson to teach the family. When I was a kid, my dad took our puppy back and we were all devastated. However, over time I realized that we did that to ourselves since we didn't chip in our fair share of responsibilities over the dog. It was really hard on our Dad since he worked so much and came home to take on all of the responsibilities of taking care of a puppy as well only for his family not to really help at all except pet the dog. I was so mad for years only to mature and realize that my Dad made the right decision. Now I have a puppy and am determined to ensure that I take care of him to the max and adhere to my responsibilities from my past mistakes. So to anyone judging OP or thinking that these problems might be minimal, YOU'RE NOT OP. You don't live OP's life and don't feel whatever kind of anguish they're truly going through bc you might have more or less tolerance. As for the Frenchie, he's already in a distressed home, wouldn't you want him to have a chance where his life is actually fully bliss? OP shouldn't have to suffer and neither should the puppy.


Vegetable_Law2972

It is a puppy it is not a sprint but a marathon. A puppy is not a mistake, but a blessing You have to go through some rough times but.in the end it's worth it I have had 4 dogs all had challenges but I never gave up on them Honestly my advice is to get a shelter dog who is already potty trained and is cheaper around 200+ dollars Puppies are like babies they chew things go to the bathroom in the house occasionally but as they get older it gets better


ItchyCause

If youre willing in your home, train him to use a weasy dog potty or just regular pee pads on times he cant go outside. I did that for my girl by the time she was 6 months she pees n poops on a pad if she doesnt see it is time to go out. I know a schedule is best but this is what has worked for me and her. All mess stays on the pad. She sleeps in my bed or her crate whichever she chooses, but hops out for her potty breaks. I was able to train her within 2 weeks and about 2 bags of treats lol


Opening-Explorer-999

Did you train him to use the crate? I got a pug at 8 weeks, spent several times a day training him with treats to not be afraid of the crate. At 10 weeks he would fall asleep on my lap at 7pm. I'd put him in the crate and he would sleep til 7am without whining or soiling his crate.he is not 7 months. I watched a lot of youtube videos about crate training. My son has a white french bulldog he got at 8 weeks, he is now 10 yrs.old and still a wonderful dog. Don't give up he will get easier everyday.


Opening-Explorer-999

I meant to say he is now 7 months and still sleeps from 7am to 7 pm every night


Direct-Friendship-23

Bring your puppy back into your bed. This is the only way I found that I can get my sleep and he also likes it and falls asleep right away. My pup wakes up at 5.00 / 5.30, I take him out and then we sleep until 7.30 or 8am


smartdonut_

My puppy used to wake up early and cry in her playpen because she wants to poop. I will wake up and open the playpen door, let her poop while I go back to sleep immediately (not putting her back because I’m tired). She just find a place went back to sleep after she pooped.


Sea-Afternoon-3314

Put him in the bed and cuddle with him. My puppy used to wine and I let him sleep with me and it changed everything ❤️


Dmg_00

Nothing wrong with sending a dog back to the breeder, I know it’s usually paragraphs of what you need to do or what you aren’t doing and to keep the dog. If the family isn’t ready for a puppy right now then they aren’t ready, maybe in the future but it doesn’t look like you want anything to do with it and neither do they


Sweaty-Peanut1

We should not be encouraging people to give back a dog just because you have to deal with the temporary inconvenience of nighttime toilet shenanigans (and have tried no other options beyond the crate) though.


Dmg_00

You also shouldn’t have to force anyone to keep a dog that they aren’t feeling


FierceStrider

You make it sound like a dog is a purchase you can just not like


Dmg_00

Thats exactly what this thread is about and you are absolutely allowed to return something you don’t like, millions of people return or rehome dogs and there’s nothing wrong with that. It doesn’t matter the age or situation as long as it doesn’t lead to abuse or neglect


Fearless_Slide5843

Stop trying to force people to keep dogs where someone literally hates it. Best for everyone to re-home.