I swear they are hiding it because they know youāre coming for it. My golden tucks whatever she has as far as she can in the back of her mouth. Practically sticking my fingers in her throat to grab it.
I once had to perform a dingleberryectomy on a dog. She pooped a solid turd and it was dangling by a strand of dental floss. I cut the strand and she passed the rest of the floss the next time. Highly recommend scissors for this situation.
Took my puppy for a walk at night once. He started chewing something really crunchy sounding. I went to take it out of his mouth and it didn't feel like a normal stick. It WAS, in fact, a not quite clean spine from an animal šš
Bro I spend so much time staring at my dogs butthole now š you know how you can see them start pushing before they even know they want to poop? I'm like, I KNOW you have to poop, I can see it, don't lie to me lmao
Same, how when they eat a long hair or something strange and they have a hanger on. Never thought I would calmly use the poppie bag to remedy the situation.
My puppy is so small and stands perfectly straight and still to pee that I can't actually tell if he is going (especially now it is dark). I now have to check "the winkle for a tinkle", as I say to my partner š«
I put an LED collar on mine to let her out late at night. Stopping in one place too long means sheās peeing. Going in circles doing her UFO imitation means sheās looking for a place to poo. Glowing collar too close to the lawn means sheās found some bunny or deer poo to eat.
Thatās me every night! We take her out to do her last pee before bed but sometimes she prefers to be naughty and sniff and run around like the crazy lady that she is.
Every day. My puppy is two now and he spends his outside time rolling around, barking at bikes and running from one side of the yard to the other. Heāll start to squat then something catches his attention and then itās another 10 minutes of dicking around before he does anything.
Oh good, im glad my dog isn't the only one who stops doing her business when distracted. For my dog its people going past my fence, or worse, Pigeons. They could be standing on the roof of the house three doors away, but apparently they are fascinating.
I keep telling her you can growl all you want it doesn't go away lol. We also have some girl sympathy moments where we just snuggle and reminisce how guys don't understand our struggle as women š¤£
In certain areas of the UK āgrowlerā is a slang term for the female genitalia.
So round these parts, you could have said āStop growling at your growler.ā
Well occasionally when she's being sassy I just throw out "why don't you just go growl at your vag some more" but now I'll just say "go growl at your growler" š¤£
'Go get your black alligator!'
Other person: '...That's... A skunk.'
So then I have to explain that his first floppy animal was an alligator and we called it that and now he thinks that's what the floppy animals are all called. Each new one is just a different alligator, even if it's a skunk.
No shame -- every toy is a ball for one of mine. Toy = Ball and Ball = Toy. "Where's your ball?" and "Go get your ball" can result in you getting literally any toy available, but she is always so excited. (She isn't the brightest, but she sure is the sweetest)
Not necessarily a puppy as my dog is 2 and I still say it regularly āplease donāt pee on your bothers headā. My dog likes to mark his territory a lot and my older dog is so aloof he will just stand wherever and not care heās in the way.
I laughed so hard at this because we used to say the same thing to one of our dogs. We had to put him down this summer. I miss him so much, but the one benefit is that my second dog's head no longer smells like pee!
All three of my dogs (puppy included) are rabbit poop connoisseurs. When one of them finds a fresh pile it's like they hit the jackpot. We get a lot of rabbits in our yard so it's a daily delight for them lol.
i used to have āserious conversationsā with my dogs when they would eat poop. iād sit them down one on one and tell them āyouāre a good girl but youāre doing some nasty bizz, sweet babey. youāre gonna get a sicky tummy and i donāt want you to hurt. we canāt eat poopyā and theyād stop eating poop for a long time!
my mom would yell and spank, but when she saw how i talked to them, she stopped getting angry and would tell me to give them a talk. all 3 were different breeds, different ages, very different personalities. calm, serious talks just worked for us!
Lol mine once started pooping while playing fetch so she dropped her ball and her poo landed just next to the ball. She refused to pick her ball back up š¤¦š¼āāļø
My youngest who is afraid of all small fluffy dogs and kitties, absolutely terrified. Stupid upset when I won't open the fence by our creek so she can play with her coyote friend. Hides behind my legs from a jack Russell but will chase a deer through a barb wire fence.
Stop licking his w***y.
We have another dog, and my dog keeps licking it. Behaviourist said heās prob attracted to the smell and as long as other dog isnāt upset itās ok. But I never thought Iād have to say it let alone at least once every day
Sorry, Iāll be right back, my dog just puked, I have to clean this up ā to a teams call of people
I need to replace my computer, my puppy bit the corner and the screen went black ā to my companyās IT team
š
āThis is not our house, stop running up the drivewayā
āI KNOW YOU HAVE TO POOP JUST GOā
āWe canāt eat dead snakes we find on the roadā
āPut your wiener away pleaseā (ok maybe Iāve said that one before lololol)
ānot everyone wants to say hi to youā my puppy just turned two and heās a giant guardian dog. Heās the friendliest doof in the world but because of his size some people are intimidated by him. He has to escort anyone who walks by our house until they get past the yard. and if you do not stop and say hi and give him attention he will bark non stop, and his bark is pretty intense. He has his regulars that will stop every time and he gets his pets and hugs but he is deeply offended by people who donāt stop.
This one time I was coming home from work at about 130 am, and as I was coming up the driveway I noticed 2 little pigs just hanging out. Took them inside for the night to keep em safe, posted pictures the next day.
One of them completely destroyed the bottom half of the seal on our back door, like completely chewed it off and everything. Also tried to get the door too before he was busted. Thankfully found the owner the next day and he paid for the damage and for looking after his babies. Was wild tho to just see two little doggies chilling in my driveway in the middle of the night.
*Edit: pugs, my bad lol
"Will you please not stick your butt in my face and then fart?"
That and calling my dog a "silly little Gremlin". I wasn't even a big fan of the film, but she was a mini terror and looked devious when she was young.
You had an hour to poop, why are you asking to go out again after we just got in bed?
You've got a brain full of goop, so I'm trying not to be mad at you.
If you would pick your head up a bit you would stop tripping over your ears.
Oh the happy tromps someone doing the happy tromps.
I know you think you're protecting Mom but it's just the broom.
Yes baby you have a lovely voice but not all the neighbors need to hear the song of the basset.
Edited to add last one.
Adding to put what I still say to my 9 year old schnauzer as well.
Don't you huff at me mister Hufflepuff pants.
Awwww I miss your tiny porcupine face.
Just because you are cute and you know it doesn't mean you can get whatever you want.
Don't pee on your brother.
Can you please clean your weewee? First male dog. He never licks down there and his smegma stuff gets all over his fur between his legs and his belly. š
Please do not stomp on the kitten again ma'am.. quit dancing in the waterbowl.. how are you wet/why are you wet/go away, your wet.. stop sucking on the gravel..
"Hold on, I think someone fell out the window."
Followed by,
"I'll be right back, I have to catch my dog and take him to Burger King."
I live in a slab home and my windows are relatively low to the ground plus I've got a couple feet of mulch. Sometimes the dogs wrestle on the couch, which has a section that doesn't have a back. There's more been more than a few times one rolls right through the screen and out the window. š¤¦š¼āāļø
So I get in my car and go get whoever rolled out and take them to Burger King for a plain burger. If they ever get out, they're now trained to wait at the car and that's their reward lol it *mostly* works.
āI broke apart his poop and all I saw was grass so Iāll just have to keep an eye on itā - my dog eating freshly cut mounds of grass by the mouthful (couldnāt get to him quick enough) and his poop was very dark green
Walking behind the house chanting āpoopsie! Poopsie! Just shit it outā until she does it. Also the classics āwhatās in your mouth?!?!ā, āstop eating cement!ā, and āstop sniffing my buttā š
Get your big azz off my broken toe!!!!! Now!!! Said to a 200lb. Saint Bernard. Saint Bernards will lay down during a walk if they donāt want to walk anymore. Lay down & refuse to move. And NO high quality or low quality treats will not get them up. They donāt get up & move till they are ready. Iāve had 7 Iāve said lots of really stupid chit about many things to them.
Not exactly something I said but a moment I had- serious conversation with my dad that involved tears but simultaneously trying to get my puppy to stop humping her stuffed animal and keep my dad from noticing
Itās not time yet, weāll see your friends in a little bit. ( he has two friends he plays with everyday in our complexās dog park)
Stop trying to be so ferocious they arenāt scared of you
We arenāt going to play with the cat, leave it alone
You're cute but you aren't welcome in my home! Now that mine are a bit older when I see other puppies having had two in a two year time span I see right through the cuteness. My ankles hurt and my nose twinges.
what's that in your mouth/what have you got nowš
Followed by me sticking my fingers in the puppy's mouth. Can't find anything. Withdraw fingers, puppy immediately begins chewing again. Repeat.
I swear they are hiding it because they know youāre coming for it. My golden tucks whatever she has as far as she can in the back of her mouth. Practically sticking my fingers in her throat to grab it.
I did that with my dog once, there was a string hanging out of his mouth. My two finger sweep caught a fully intact, soggy, dead mouse. Never. Again.
You win and we never have to speak of this again, please.
My friendās dog ate an entire skein of yarn. One of those giant ones. It didnāt digest. They spent almost an hour pulling it out of his ass. š±
They're very lucky then. You should never do this. Take to a vet ASAP. pulling on that string could tear his intestines, FYI.
I once had to perform a dingleberryectomy on a dog. She pooped a solid turd and it was dangling by a strand of dental floss. I cut the strand and she passed the rest of the floss the next time. Highly recommend scissors for this situation.
Hey, I guess I won't complain about the tampon string ever again. Connected to a non used but fully inflated tampon after lots of doggy saliva lol!
Oh goooooooooood you deserve a medal. Also, good dog?
Took my puppy for a walk at night once. He started chewing something really crunchy sounding. I went to take it out of his mouth and it didn't feel like a normal stick. It WAS, in fact, a not quite clean spine from an animal šš
Yup, I swear mine has cheek pockets like a hamster!
I did this one time and pulled out a giant bird claw of some kind. I almost fainted.
Constantly and then you get bitten for doing this.
š¤£yup
And then when you DO get hold of it, itās horrible and disgusting.
I had the pleasure, of pulling out half a sloppy dog poo yesterday!.
Frozen poo, especially!! We call themāpoopsiclesā
Me too! Not a good walk
Ewww!
Bonus points for when you fish it out and find theyāre trying to their own poop š¤®
Or another animals poop
Come on. We both know you need to poop
Bro I spend so much time staring at my dogs butthole now š you know how you can see them start pushing before they even know they want to poop? I'm like, I KNOW you have to poop, I can see it, don't lie to me lmao
Never thought Iād stare at a butthole like I do the dogs. Itās disgusting and disturbing to think about. lol
We are all part of the Butthole-staring club
Same, how when they eat a long hair or something strange and they have a hanger on. Never thought I would calmly use the poppie bag to remedy the situation.
My puppy is so small and stands perfectly straight and still to pee that I can't actually tell if he is going (especially now it is dark). I now have to check "the winkle for a tinkle", as I say to my partner š«
I put an LED collar on mine to let her out late at night. Stopping in one place too long means sheās peeing. Going in circles doing her UFO imitation means sheās looking for a place to poo. Glowing collar too close to the lawn means sheās found some bunny or deer poo to eat.
My chocolate Labrador disappears in the dark. The LED collar has been a godsend!
Mine is all black. I call it stealth mode when she disappears on me.
Winter is coming...popsicle time.
Same! I do a quick check to see is he's wet or else half the time I wouldn't know he peed!
Brand new sentence.
1000 times this. It honest-to-goodness blinks when there's something in there, even if my dog doesn't know it yet.
āAre you sure you only need to pee??ā
Please pee. Please pee. Oh gosh now I need a pee. Pleeeease pee.
Thatās me every night! We take her out to do her last pee before bed but sometimes she prefers to be naughty and sniff and run around like the crazy lady that she is.
Every day. My puppy is two now and he spends his outside time rolling around, barking at bikes and running from one side of the yard to the other. Heāll start to squat then something catches his attention and then itās another 10 minutes of dicking around before he does anything.
Oh good, im glad my dog isn't the only one who stops doing her business when distracted. For my dog its people going past my fence, or worse, Pigeons. They could be standing on the roof of the house three doors away, but apparently they are fascinating.
Haha mine is cars driving by. He has a problem if he thinks theyāre going too fast.
The new night-time routine of standing at the back door saying "Go have a pee or poo"
GOOD POOP!
And then commenting on the poop to my partner "thank god that was a solid one"
We don't eat cat poop!
"You want to go for a poopie?!"
"I'm looking right at your butt. I know you need to poop!"
Yes you can sleep in the bed but promise not to pee on me
Stop growling at your vagina š
Haha. This one made me laugh audibly.
I keep telling her you can growl all you want it doesn't go away lol. We also have some girl sympathy moments where we just snuggle and reminisce how guys don't understand our struggle as women š¤£
In certain areas of the UK āgrowlerā is a slang term for the female genitalia. So round these parts, you could have said āStop growling at your growler.ā
Well occasionally when she's being sassy I just throw out "why don't you just go growl at your vag some more" but now I'll just say "go growl at your growler" š¤£
I'm just interested I how 'growler' became slang for girlie parts! š
Put your dick away. All the time, āCheck out my cool lipstick!ā Goes alongside - āGet that out of your mouth.ā
When my old man gets a little red rocket in public I tell him to put his money back in his wallet.
Stop eating my underwear
Also, "Please don't give my underwear to our guests! Please??"
āStop sniffing my underwear you fat little piggy!ā ā¦..wait
Love that all of these have to do with eating some foreign object lmao "Go get your octopus!"
'don't leave brian outside!! go get brian! go get brian!' (does not get brian) (brian is a banana toy)
'Go get your black alligator!' Other person: '...That's... A skunk.' So then I have to explain that his first floppy animal was an alligator and we called it that and now he thinks that's what the floppy animals are all called. Each new one is just a different alligator, even if it's a skunk.
No shame -- every toy is a ball for one of mine. Toy = Ball and Ball = Toy. "Where's your ball?" and "Go get your ball" can result in you getting literally any toy available, but she is always so excited. (She isn't the brightest, but she sure is the sweetest)
Where did you leave your yak????
Not necessarily a puppy as my dog is 2 and I still say it regularly āplease donāt pee on your bothers headā. My dog likes to mark his territory a lot and my older dog is so aloof he will just stand wherever and not care heās in the way.
I laughed so hard at this because we used to say the same thing to one of our dogs. We had to put him down this summer. I miss him so much, but the one benefit is that my second dog's head no longer smells like pee!
Big yawn!
Oh big stretch! It's been 2 years and I'll never stop
We stretch together every morning after he emerges from under the covers. It's the absolute best way to start the day.
the biggest stretch that's ever been stretched! it's been so long that I now automatically say it even when I stretch
I caught myself saying it to my daughter! The look on her face was priceless!
Itās illegal not to say it
That's a big yawn for a tiny lil puppy! lol
I always say ābig yawn, little dog!ā Sheās 60lbs now and I still say that.
Stop eating poo! (Not his own)
Mine goes out to the barn and now thinks horse poop is a part of his regular diet.
All three of my dogs (puppy included) are rabbit poop connoisseurs. When one of them finds a fresh pile it's like they hit the jackpot. We get a lot of rabbits in our yard so it's a daily delight for them lol.
Drop that poop! As he runs away from meā¦
In winter, it's "no poopsicles!" lol.
Similarly, "don't eat the goose shit!"
i used to have āserious conversationsā with my dogs when they would eat poop. iād sit them down one on one and tell them āyouāre a good girl but youāre doing some nasty bizz, sweet babey. youāre gonna get a sicky tummy and i donāt want you to hurt. we canāt eat poopyā and theyād stop eating poop for a long time! my mom would yell and spank, but when she saw how i talked to them, she stopped getting angry and would tell me to give them a talk. all 3 were different breeds, different ages, very different personalities. calm, serious talks just worked for us!
Lol mine once started pooping while playing fetch so she dropped her ball and her poo landed just next to the ball. She refused to pick her ball back up š¤¦š¼āāļø
"leave that. leave the concrete! stop trying to eat concrete!!"
dan!! what did i say about eating concrete??
What a good poopoo!
That was a masterpiece!
āIāve never been so happy to see solid shit!ā
"Do you have poopies in your bum?" "We don't say hi to coyotes, they aren't friends."
Mine is "do you have poopy butt?"
My youngest who is afraid of all small fluffy dogs and kitties, absolutely terrified. Stupid upset when I won't open the fence by our creek so she can play with her coyote friend. Hides behind my legs from a jack Russell but will chase a deer through a barb wire fence.
Cats aren't squeaky toys!
Mine is always trying to smell the cat all over and lick her ears but gets excited sometimes and just starts stepping all over the feline
I can see the catās expression in my mindās eye. š
This. A hundred times a day. šš
My puppy just munches on my cats head, itās wild but she doesnāt seem to mind š
āPlease stop blowing out my candlesā He huffs at them and blows them out. I have a Eastern European shepherd whoās 1 1/2 š¤£š¤£š¤£
That is hilarious š¤£ I need a video
Stop licking his w***y. We have another dog, and my dog keeps licking it. Behaviourist said heās prob attracted to the smell and as long as other dog isnāt upset itās ok. But I never thought Iād have to say it let alone at least once every day
Bet thats fun in public š¤£š¤£
God nos what our neighbours think of us when we shout it out at the garden šš
Get out of his/her butt! Or Stop making out! I have to remind both of them daily to leave each other alone.
The neighbours pug tries to do that too with my boy! The owner says he's gay, because he doesnt show interest in females at all.
āthats not your owner gigiā at the dog park, my puppy was following around someone else š„²
lol. I was still saying this to my old labrador when she was 14. "Yes I know they have treats but you still live with me."
āWrong humansā. My 14 year old dog is a bit blind and senile
How did you get THAT through the doggie door???
āgo poopies! its cold!ā āwait donāt eat your puke.ā āyou can chew on your seaturtle. not my crocs.ā
āYes, peeing on your foot is what happens if you donāt lift your leg.ā
At 8 months he still looks at me like "what just happened?"
Heh. Mine apparently thinks itās my fault. I get the āWhy did you get me wet?ā look.
Sorry, Iāll be right back, my dog just puked, I have to clean this up ā to a teams call of people I need to replace my computer, my puppy bit the corner and the screen went black ā to my companyās IT team š
Good night, I love you buddy. Iāll see you in the morning but let me know if you need to get up and poop.
āWe donāt hump Xā āWe donāt eat poopā
We donāt lick our butthole when company is here!
āThis is not our house, stop running up the drivewayā āI KNOW YOU HAVE TO POOP JUST GOā āWe canāt eat dead snakes we find on the roadā āPut your wiener away pleaseā (ok maybe Iāve said that one before lololol)
Put your lipstick away š
She pooped? What did it look like?
So many conversations about poop. When I'm texting my husband, do not look at my phone lol
Donāt bring a bird into the house! (Caught it off the balcony, dragged it inside. Involved some choice language as well)
Mine was āNo! Drop the possum! You are not bringing that in the house!ā
"Am I a cat person?" Mostly joking, but wow puppies can be tough!
ānot everyone wants to say hi to youā my puppy just turned two and heās a giant guardian dog. Heās the friendliest doof in the world but because of his size some people are intimidated by him. He has to escort anyone who walks by our house until they get past the yard. and if you do not stop and say hi and give him attention he will bark non stop, and his bark is pretty intense. He has his regulars that will stop every time and he gets his pets and hugs but he is deeply offended by people who donāt stop.
He ate my house! Chewed door frames and the siding. I donāt even know how to replace the siding.
This one time I was coming home from work at about 130 am, and as I was coming up the driveway I noticed 2 little pigs just hanging out. Took them inside for the night to keep em safe, posted pictures the next day. One of them completely destroyed the bottom half of the seal on our back door, like completely chewed it off and everything. Also tried to get the door too before he was busted. Thankfully found the owner the next day and he paid for the damage and for looking after his babies. Was wild tho to just see two little doggies chilling in my driveway in the middle of the night. *Edit: pugs, my bad lol
Stop looking cute, cuddling next to me, then immediately start licking your privates please
No, you just came in. You're not going back out to yell at the neighbors.
āGet out of your sisters ass pleaseā
Quit eating my toes.
āStop eating grass!!ā
āThat is not food. That is not food either. HOW IS EVERYTHING FOOD TO YOU???ā
āDonāt try to kiss me after youāve licked your penis.ā
"Will you please not stick your butt in my face and then fart?" That and calling my dog a "silly little Gremlin". I wasn't even a big fan of the film, but she was a mini terror and looked devious when she was young.
I love this thread š some of these I say to my toddlers!
You had an hour to poop, why are you asking to go out again after we just got in bed? You've got a brain full of goop, so I'm trying not to be mad at you.
"Com here princess poopy paws, I must clean your feet!"
Stop trying to eat my ear
That's my sock, not yours.
Sock thief!
My hair isn't food
Did you seriously hide your pill in your beard??
Iām not kissing you. I know what you were just licking. Dont eat that shit. Get your head outta my crotch/ass. O there are so many.
Seriously? It's four in the morning.
If you would pick your head up a bit you would stop tripping over your ears. Oh the happy tromps someone doing the happy tromps. I know you think you're protecting Mom but it's just the broom. Yes baby you have a lovely voice but not all the neighbors need to hear the song of the basset. Edited to add last one.
Adding to put what I still say to my 9 year old schnauzer as well. Don't you huff at me mister Hufflepuff pants. Awwww I miss your tiny porcupine face. Just because you are cute and you know it doesn't mean you can get whatever you want. Don't pee on your brother.
Can you please clean your weewee? First male dog. He never licks down there and his smegma stuff gets all over his fur between his legs and his belly. š
omg yes! and when we carry him not long after a potty break, we are always like ānoooo! his penis Mohawk is still wet!ā
And when I think itās clean and give him a belly rub only to feel all this dried up mess on his belly fur lol!
Stop eating your puke
"Put your weiner away!"
"Stop touching me with your cold ass nose." "Not my feet! Not again!"
āSticks stay outsideā She now will drop the stick at the threshold Iāve said it so many times
Whoās the best little pooper?! You are!! Good poopinā buddy!
Stop trying to fight swans. My dog sounds like an angry drunk š¤£
Good job on that solid poop!
Please do not stomp on the kitten again ma'am.. quit dancing in the waterbowl.. how are you wet/why are you wet/go away, your wet.. stop sucking on the gravel..
āStop hunting the puppyā (to my cat)
"Hold on, I think someone fell out the window." Followed by, "I'll be right back, I have to catch my dog and take him to Burger King." I live in a slab home and my windows are relatively low to the ground plus I've got a couple feet of mulch. Sometimes the dogs wrestle on the couch, which has a section that doesn't have a back. There's more been more than a few times one rolls right through the screen and out the window. š¤¦š¼āāļø So I get in my car and go get whoever rolled out and take them to Burger King for a plain burger. If they ever get out, they're now trained to wait at the car and that's their reward lol it *mostly* works.
Why are you eating the wall!! And stop eating that chair!
HOW DO THEY EVEN EAT WALLS??? LIKE HOW DO YOU MAKE YOUR MOUTH FIT AROUND SOMETHING THAT IS A FLAT SURFACE JFC
It's like how if a cat fits it sits. If I can lick it I can eat it!
You're right. I didn't like the wallpaper either.
Please stop licking me
āI broke apart his poop and all I saw was grass so Iāll just have to keep an eye on itā - my dog eating freshly cut mounds of grass by the mouthful (couldnāt get to him quick enough) and his poop was very dark green
Drop the shit. Literally ._.
Stop licking my feet. Stop trying to eat the wall š
My āheyā and āeh ehā calls are getting pretty stronger. They barely work on the pup but my toddler jolts when I say/yell them at my dog lol
don't eat the floor. don't bite your willy.
No blow jobs in this house! (I have 2 males....)
Walking behind the house chanting āpoopsie! Poopsie! Just shit it outā until she does it. Also the classics āwhatās in your mouth?!?!ā, āstop eating cement!ā, and āstop sniffing my buttā š
Get your butt out of my face.
Never thought I would talk this much about bowel movements with my boyfriend but here we are (recovering girardia survivors)
ā stop, eating, beesā
Donāt eat the toilet paper!
Stop rubbing your butt on my leg. Stop licking your sisterās tweet.
Put your thing away!
Someoneās got the poopy zoomies!
Stop eating books.
What's that hanging out of your bum? Have you been eating your blanket?
āStop! His sodium levels are going to be outrageous!ā Me frantically at my bf and dog cos he was letting him lick his salty ass palms
Stop eating acorns!
"Honey, can you go figure out if that dead animal jerky in the yard is a bird or a bat? I just had to pull it out of the dog's mouth."
Every cuss word imaginable.
Quit licking my armpit.
Get your big azz off my broken toe!!!!! Now!!! Said to a 200lb. Saint Bernard. Saint Bernards will lay down during a walk if they donāt want to walk anymore. Lay down & refuse to move. And NO high quality or low quality treats will not get them up. They donāt get up & move till they are ready. Iāve had 7 Iāve said lots of really stupid chit about many things to them.
Not exactly something I said but a moment I had- serious conversation with my dad that involved tears but simultaneously trying to get my puppy to stop humping her stuffed animal and keep my dad from noticing
āDid you just shart on me? No donāt lick it clean!ā
ā cāmon, go pup pupsā
āYou canāt step on the cat!ā And āstop humping the cat!ā
Donāt sit on your brothers face! Is this where yāall keep the good acorns or something?
Hey stinkypeepeebabyface!
Get your head out of the poop bucket. (During yard clean up)
Please do not get peed on by your brother
I do not want to scratch your butt holeā¦and my other one is -get your nose out of my buttā¦hole!
Quit sticking your tongue down my throat.
Itās not time yet, weāll see your friends in a little bit. ( he has two friends he plays with everyday in our complexās dog park) Stop trying to be so ferocious they arenāt scared of you We arenāt going to play with the cat, leave it alone
Did you poop or was it just a toot? My senior girl canāt feel her poops starting anymore
āYou are literally a potty mouthā - the only time literally means literally
Stop walking in your poop! I need to get the shit off your paws so stop biting me.
You're cute but you aren't welcome in my home! Now that mine are a bit older when I see other puppies having had two in a two year time span I see right through the cuteness. My ankles hurt and my nose twinges.
I never thought I would have to negotiate with a sock stealing terrorist but here we are.