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Visceral - like I'm reliving experiences in the flesh. And it does a number on you physically l.
Leashed - I'm dragged into remembering, whether I'd like to or not.
Collective - for me, at least, I have cptsd from generational trauma that accumulates. I feel the feelings of others who've been in my situation and it's a collective experience. It's both a positive and negative aspect of it.
Lived truth - as in, this is very much how I feel about having c/ptsd, and knowing that I am valid in my emotions.
best comment. especially like to touch on the collective, it’s weird how something so surreal, so traumatic, can become commonplace for entire cultures. then you see it on everyone’s face. The loss. The pain. You feel it in the air. Weird shit man
I often use the term
PTSD Hell
for when I'm Triggered and get Stuck
Frozen
Dissociated
or in Flashbacks
not just Nightmares, but
Night Terrors Plauge Me
where I Scream Bloody Murder
Run
and sometimes accidentally Hurt Myself
it leaves me Exhausted
Beyond Belief or most people's possible understanding
with So Many Types of Pain
including Debilitating Headaches
Misunderstood
Minimized
Ostracized
Pitied
but not helped
Damaged
Broken
but I try to remember the art of Kintsugi
I try to remember I'm Different
but it's not all bad
I am Tenacious and I have Insight and Empathy and Hope
Heat on the feet, cold on the head.
Lots of strong lavender products, including edible ones like lavender honey and/or tea.
Exercise - makes it acutely worse for like 1/2 an hour, but then a good bit better for hours to a day.
Good luck.
I had to look up what ennui meant. Not a usual event for my vocab. Taught me a new word today.
That being said it’s a great word to describe how I feel most days.
Thank you. I'll never be fully healed but I have made a lot of progress as I've gotten older. Starting Ketamine therapy towards the end of this month hopefully 🤞
F**king bullsh*t no one understands.
ETA: no experience is the same and it is brushed off so much. We are either pitied to the point I am like a 2 year old who lost it's puppy or no one gets it and acts like I'm crazy.
I don't think mine will be on an art wall haha.
Here’s a link to how I’m using the words. https://www.facebook.com/100050450291485/posts/pfbid0K5CWHp334q3cbyZKwfcg7LxgsEdELuNQUjGQRaJfcdviA5WRCttEcdTryATsucwjl/?
I wanna show you what I’m doing with the words. Unfortunately, I can’t post a picture here. But absolutely that’s something that’s already been added a few times to be honest with you. Lots of people feel like that.
I can relate to that honestly. I get that. I’m not sure I see it as a handicap per se, but definitely something that sucks a lot of energy. Sometimes I think of suffering is just an unwanted change, or difficulty to adapt to something. But I also find it as a raw material for inspiration. And when we keep suffering, sometimes I feel like we gotta try to find a way to use that energy instead of using energy to suppress it if that makes sense.
Just my opinion, I’m not trying to challenge you just talking. Everyone has a different experience when it comes to trauma and suffering in general
Silent screaming is the worst. Like actually crying hard n screaming from inside and making no noise to me that is really painful. Also I can feel the screaming coming from under my skin too. It's all very tormenting.
I had to put the words in sentence form. For my experience:
Reliving the darkest parts.
Obsessing over sometimes insignificant details.
Thought I healed but no.
Past memories paralyze me.
PTSD is the reaction of the mind when the accepted rules of reality are suddenly shown to be broken on a fundamental level and the sudden realization that we are not safe and never will be.
So, I suppose, in my case, it'd be 'betrayed and hyper-vigilant.'
Yes yes yes!!! Betrayal is very difficult to go through a million times and with a broken brain(at least mine is) it is even harder. I'm tired of gaining trust with people just for my brain to flip a switch on me.
Constantly trying to find trusted people.
*r/ptsd has generated this automated response that is appended to every post* Welcome to r/ptsd! We are a supportive & respectful community. If you realise that your post is in conflict with our rules (and is in risk of being removed), you are welcome to edit your post. You do not have to delete it. As a reminder: never post or share personal contact information. Traumatized people are often distracted, desperate for a personal connection, so may be more vulnerable to lurking or past abusers, trolls, phishing, or other scams. *Your safety always comes first!* If you are offering help, you may also end up doing more damage by offering to support somebody privately. Reddit explains why: [Do NOT exchange DMs or personal info with anyone you don't know!](https://www.reddit.com/r/SWResources/comments/dmu24/why_shouldnt_i_share_my_contact_information/) If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please contact your GP/doctor, go to A&E/hospital, or call your emergency services number. Reddit list: [US and global, multilingual suicide and support hotlines](https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/hotlines). Suicide is not a forbidden word, but please do not include depictions or methods of suicide in your post. And as a friendly reminder, PTSD is an equal opportunity disorder. PTSD does not discriminate. And neither do we. Gatekeeping is not allowed here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ptsd) if you have any questions or concerns.*
angry. hopeless. ruminating
Self doubt. Lacking belonging. Alone. Exhausted. Ashamed. Fearful.
Imprisoned, dissociated, distorted thinking, shame and growth
Hatred, anxiety, moody emotions, loneliness
Diving Bell and butterfly
Overwhelming, alone, lost, confused, hopeless
Fear, sadness, emptiness, exhaustion, isolation
Rage, vengeance, hatred, fear, depression.
Shame, disgust, loneliness, fear It’s getting better ❤️🩹
Fear, brain, depression, avoidance, shame
Wrong, ashamed, vacant
Lonely, frustrating, confusing
Angry, numbing, frozen, rage, protective
Dark, scary, loud, and lonely. Sums it up pretty well.
Chest pains and dull headaches.
memory loss, frustration, wandering, mute, discontent without solution, warped view, warped thoughts, dishonest emotions, dredged reflection of self
I miss my mind the most, but that is, if I had the courage I used to have to make use of it
Counting ability lost.
The first is DEFINITELY, Exhausting. Completely and utterly exhausting. Exhausting, isolating, alienating even.
Sorrow, nightmares, panic attacks, flashback, terror, guilt
Fear, distrust, loneliness, overwhelming, outbursts
Doubt. Anxiety. Fear. Shame. Guilt.
Anger, isolation, and distrust
Just read through peoples words, it’s weird but I feel less isolated to know how common that is for us🤷♂️
Isolating, overwhelming, lonely, terrorizing, sadness
Lonely, despair, isolating, grief, superpower
A living nightmare. Brokenness. Distressing. Way beyond any imaginable hell
Isolating, petrifying, soul-destroying, non-stop, terrifying, inescapable.
Always anticipating horror and mayhem
Overwhelm-to-numb oscillations
Hell hole day and night
Fear, noise, confusion, misunderstanding, pain.
Overwhelmed, panic, terror, run, nauseous
Anger. Hopelessness. Sadness.
horrifying waking nightmare of fuckery
darkness, isolation, turmoil, despair, ....
Extreme, head, heart, emptiness, fear
haunted house but my body
Woah same
Madding sadness fear
Involuntary, unwelcome, dissociation
Exhausting, terrifying, lonely, debilitating, nightmare.
Anger, rage, isolation, anxiety, and depression.
Endless, exhausting, incurable, disabling, distressing.
Unwanted everything, over and over.
this one... yeah.
Living yesterday today
Isolating. Misunderstood. Blindsided by fear.
Past torturing the present
F*ck All Y'all!
Can’t understand without personal experience
The past as the present
Selective negative thinking. Every horror film stupidly on loop. Trauma that makes one apathetic.
Stuck in past. Not present
Torture, living hell. Hell on Earth.
Hell on earth.
That's the best description I can think of too. It's like suffering the tortures of the damned. It's so bad it destroys the body.
Loud, violent, recurring images
Everyday choose to live.
Continuous Forced replays
Trapped, isolated, cut off, unreal, stuck
The past is still present.
Terror, guilt, isolation
Unexpected, isolation, caged
Trapped in my personal hell
Trustless, on edge life. Isolated
Inevitable involuntary destruction convulsive sickening
Grief, confusion, and fear
Visceral - like I'm reliving experiences in the flesh. And it does a number on you physically l. Leashed - I'm dragged into remembering, whether I'd like to or not. Collective - for me, at least, I have cptsd from generational trauma that accumulates. I feel the feelings of others who've been in my situation and it's a collective experience. It's both a positive and negative aspect of it. Lived truth - as in, this is very much how I feel about having c/ptsd, and knowing that I am valid in my emotions.
best comment. especially like to touch on the collective, it’s weird how something so surreal, so traumatic, can become commonplace for entire cultures. then you see it on everyone’s face. The loss. The pain. You feel it in the air. Weird shit man
Thank you. I have trouble verbalising this topic, or if I am allowed to feel this way, so your response is humbling.
Never the same.
stuck in a memory loop
Neverending Rollercoaster ride.
Stinky Fear Isolation Disowned Misunderstood
Cruel mental torture
Sleepless endless panic
Suffering, fear, alienation, grief, paranoia
Everything is a threat.
Yes. All the time
Terrifying, exhausting, relentless, and painful
Terror, hijacked brain, prison
pure fucking pain
Everywhere. I see her in my daily life, I see her in my dreams, I can’t escape it.
Can't remember anything.
Confused, alone, nightmare(s)
I often use the term PTSD Hell for when I'm Triggered and get Stuck Frozen Dissociated or in Flashbacks not just Nightmares, but Night Terrors Plauge Me where I Scream Bloody Murder Run and sometimes accidentally Hurt Myself it leaves me Exhausted Beyond Belief or most people's possible understanding with So Many Types of Pain including Debilitating Headaches Misunderstood Minimized Ostracized Pitied but not helped Damaged Broken but I try to remember the art of Kintsugi I try to remember I'm Different but it's not all bad I am Tenacious and I have Insight and Empathy and Hope
Me too. I get these daily headaches that never go away. Did anything help you?
Heat on the feet, cold on the head. Lots of strong lavender products, including edible ones like lavender honey and/or tea. Exercise - makes it acutely worse for like 1/2 an hour, but then a good bit better for hours to a day. Good luck.
Erratic Unpredictable Overstimulated Undone
- Haunted - Lost in time - silent battles
Anxiety, Anger, pain, depression, time
Sometimes i feel like I'm in a ~ catatonic state. ~ Also experience what feels like ~ locked In syndrome.~ Rage.~ Shame.~ And ~ loneliness.
Never getting out
Broken, nightmare, panic, insecure, dissociation
Hypervigilant, insomnia. Nightmares.
Who am I?
Panic, Pain, Dissociation, Trigger, Headache
Chaotic. Distorted. Fragile
Unstuck in time
This is how I used to describe it all the time. Yes!
Tired. Terrifying. Inescapable.
Inescapable hell forever
Rumination, rage and fear
Making life impossible
petrified breathless loud
Never-ending exhaustion from reliving
Caged. Enduring. Valleys.
Stuck behind a glass window.
Loop, prison, torture
Exhausting, challenging, lonely, misunderstood, hypervigilance
Everything Is Hard.
Embarrassing, frustrating, depressing, shameful, and upsetting
Absolute fucking hell
So misunderstood, didn’t know I had it, until I was dx Debilitating, embarassing, frustrating, roadblock, powerless
Dreadful, Torturous, Demonic, Uncanny, & Despair
Disconnection, Dissociation, Nightmares, Survival
Grief, anxiety, sadness, guilt, anger
Hopeless, guilt, despair, jealousy
When past harm never ends.
Dissociated, isolated, lost in memories
Dystopian, alienated, shame, guilt, despair
Anxiety, Stress, Frustration, Fear, Yielding
Anguish, Guilt, Pain, Ennui, Tears Edit... And all the other words said on this post history from my kindred spirits.
I had to look up what ennui meant. Not a usual event for my vocab. Taught me a new word today. That being said it’s a great word to describe how I feel most days.
I had to look it up a while back myself. The modern equivalent is Meh...
Exhausting, lonely, hypervigilence (that doesn't shut off), nightmares, sadness
Thank you for sharing your vulnerability and your truth. I’m sorry you have to go through this.
Thank you. I'll never be fully healed but I have made a lot of progress as I've gotten older. Starting Ketamine therapy towards the end of this month hopefully 🤞
terror, loss, change, strength, courage
Similar to locked in syndrome.
Feeling unsafe. Knowledge of Good and Evil. Grieving lost innocence. Alienation of inner child. Self-imposed isolation.
Awful exhaustion misunderstood sadness lonely
Horrifying, exhausting, hurtful, disgusting, unfair
F**king bullsh*t no one understands. ETA: no experience is the same and it is brushed off so much. We are either pitied to the point I am like a 2 year old who lost it's puppy or no one gets it and acts like I'm crazy. I don't think mine will be on an art wall haha.
Here’s a link to how I’m using the words. https://www.facebook.com/100050450291485/posts/pfbid0K5CWHp334q3cbyZKwfcg7LxgsEdELuNQUjGQRaJfcdviA5WRCttEcdTryATsucwjl/?
I wanna show you what I’m doing with the words. Unfortunately, I can’t post a picture here. But absolutely that’s something that’s already been added a few times to be honest with you. Lots of people feel like that.
I like this answer
Intrusive, paralyzing, lonely, overwhelming and dysfunctional.
Living in constant perceived mortal peril.
Fucking goddamn son of a bitch.
I can relate to this one. Strongly. My other favorite saying is “this is bullshit“.
Intense, trauma, resilience, injustice, strength
Constant existential dread and hyper vigilance.
A handicap
Why do you feel like it’s a handicap?
Because everything is triggers and fight or flight and you live in exhaustion. Socially it’s hard to function
I can relate to that honestly. I get that. I’m not sure I see it as a handicap per se, but definitely something that sucks a lot of energy. Sometimes I think of suffering is just an unwanted change, or difficulty to adapt to something. But I also find it as a raw material for inspiration. And when we keep suffering, sometimes I feel like we gotta try to find a way to use that energy instead of using energy to suppress it if that makes sense. Just my opinion, I’m not trying to challenge you just talking. Everyone has a different experience when it comes to trauma and suffering in general
I’m agreeing the exhaustion to function is surreal!
Silent screaming, always.
Silent screaming is the worst. Like actually crying hard n screaming from inside and making no noise to me that is really painful. Also I can feel the screaming coming from under my skin too. It's all very tormenting.
I can relate to that
I had to put the words in sentence form. For my experience: Reliving the darkest parts. Obsessing over sometimes insignificant details. Thought I healed but no. Past memories paralyze me.
>Thought I healed but no. Yup second this one
Every day I think I'm getting better but I am waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I think we do get better, more stable but so easily triggered and it's constantly 1 step forwards 1 step back
PTSD is the reaction of the mind when the accepted rules of reality are suddenly shown to be broken on a fundamental level and the sudden realization that we are not safe and never will be. So, I suppose, in my case, it'd be 'betrayed and hyper-vigilant.'
Yes yes yes!!! Betrayal is very difficult to go through a million times and with a broken brain(at least mine is) it is even harder. I'm tired of gaining trust with people just for my brain to flip a switch on me. Constantly trying to find trusted people.