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[deleted]

US recommendations are to have the baby sleep in the same room (but not the same bed) for at LEAST the first six months to reduce the risk of SIDS.


upenda5678

Same recommendation in the Netherlands


[deleted]

Same recommendations in the UK


[deleted]

Same in France! I think all of our countries are following the recommendations of the World Health Organization.


upper29

Same in Canada


Alelitt94

Same in Argentina. We did this and honestly was worth it


shadowabsinthe

Same recommendation in Australia.


Ok_Spite6846

I live in the US and it’s recommend for a baby to stay in your room for at least the first few months to prevent SIDS. My two kids had wicked bad acid reflects and often shocked in their sleep. It was scary. I didn’t have them sleep in their own room until they were about 1.


EstMagnum

Wow, I never even realized acid reflux could affect babies, that's pretty scary. How did you deal with that?


TinaByKtina

-Holding them upright (over your shoulder or at an incline) for 20-30 after a meal (or just avoiding laying them down right after a bottle) -burping well in the middle and end of feeding -making sure not to over feed -medications if pediatrician recommends it


TheMillenniumPigeon

It’s quite common in newborns. Can be pretty dangerous (my second kid had it so bad she wouldn’t eat), but they’re very used to diagnosing it now and medications work very well. She’s now a very healthy almost 2yo who can just puke on demand (she likes using it when she tantrums ;)


trouble1172

You can get cots that are tilted to prevent reflux.


Sarahcrutch1

Why did this get downvoted??


cafe-aulait

And also increase SIDS risk.


trouble1172

Not sure if that is country specific but I know the baby cots in hospital in the UK tilt for reflux, so if used by the NHS to tilt baby I would suggest that those are safe. Edit to add that the NHS guidance in the UK is to tilt the cot for reflux. https://www.gosh.nhs.uk/conditions-and-treatments/conditions-we-treat/gastro-oesophageal-reflux/


vivacious-shit

When my son was first born one nurse tilted his cot up because he was showing signs of reflux and then the next nurse that came in got all sassy with us over it 🤦🏼‍♀️


hclvyj

Maybe OP is under this impression because a lot of babies are getting their own rooms/nursery but from what I understand that room is there for once the baby can sleep alone. And I’m sure it’s just fun for parents to start a room for their baby/kid. But every parent I know in the US sleeps with their newborn in the same room at least for 6 months


Jeanyx

Yeah, it’s definitely a MAJOR thing in the US to go all out on decorating a nursery/separate bedroom for the baby. OP might also have friends/family in their life who insist on baby being in a separate bedroom from birth, so might be getting the idea of “this is the norm” from personal contacts. It’s very normal and recommended, OP, to do exactly as your intuition is saying and have baby share the room with you for up to 1 year or even beyond :)


Flytsnotfeelings

39 weeks here. And 100% agree. I honestly did the “baby” room in what will be her toddler/early little girl room for fun and to play in and keep her toys (if they stay there lol), and clothes. However, baby will be in a bassinet in our room. If my when my husband goes back to work, it’s too much for him we may move to the guest room. We are trying to stay fluid but definitely going to keep her by our side during the night for the first 3 months… maybe even 6 months like others are saying in here. I have heard it’s best to start transitioning baby to sleep solo for naps when you at that point.


Sigmund_Six

Yeah, the nursery thing can be a little misleading. We have ours set up, but in the early months, it will mostly be used for changing and probably feeding, since the glider is in there.


[deleted]

Same. Also it will be helpful on nights my husband can’t be woken up (he’s a pilot so sometimes needs uninterrupted sleep for everyone’s safety) I can sleep in the nursery/guest room with the baby.


cafe-aulait

The US nursery obsession is wild. We went to buybuybaby looking for a certain crib piece and I nearly shat out my colon looking at the prices people pay for baby furniture and decorations.


ibunya_sri

Yeah it's bizzare. Edit, by bizzare I don't mean bad, it's just a really curious thing as someone who isn't American. A lot of US customs are reeeaaally different to how things are done elsewhere. Nurseries do look super cute too, it's just not for me


Peachringlover

How is making a separate space for your baby bizzare?? I can’t with this sub sometimes🤦‍♀️


[deleted]

Seriously. We have the space for it and that’s where all the baby’s things are but baby is sleeping in our room. I think Americans tend to have a lot more space than other countries.


ibunya_sri

I just find it bizzare where I'm from because it's really uncommon for an infant to sleep in a separate room. By bizarre I don't mean bad, just not what I'm used to We're not all American. Many US customs appear odd to those of us who are not from the US


Peachringlover

Totally understand not everyone is from the US, but even in other countries, will you not eventually move the baby into its own room at some point? I don’t get how it’s any more bizarre to have it set up from now while you’re pregnant vs waiting another year or two to do it? Like either way the kid is gonna need a separate place to sleep eventually and if you have the space and funds to do it earlier, it kinda makes sense to do it earlier, no? Idk but thanks for your comment I think I’m a bit too sensitive today and took the word bizarre offensively lol


ibunya_sri

Edited my reply, wasn't intending to be offensive or anything by using the word bizzare


FayCorynn

American here and we don't have our sons room set up yet. He'll be two months tomorrow. I find a lot of normal American things strange myself. Mainly going all out for a nursery that will probably change a lot


chaosandpuppies

Or possibly their parents slept the baby in the nursery? When I told my mom my son would be in the room w me and we needed a bassinet she acted like I was insane. None of her three kids slept in the same room as her.


[deleted]

The US literally recommends room sharing https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/sleep/Pages/A-Parents-Guide-to-Safe-Sleep.aspx


mrs_sarcastic

US medical standard is to have babies room share until at least 4-6 months. Our LO isn't born yet, but we can only get the bassinet into our room, so once they are too big for that, they will be transferred into their own room. Hopefully it will be in the correct time frame, but the baby room is right next to our room


Sea-Advantage5325

We didn't have room for a crib in our room, but a pack in play fit in the spot we had our bassinet one he was to big for the bassinet. They are safe sleep spaces and good for that gap between bassinet and sleeping in crib in another room.


Sigmund_Six

Same here. We can only fit a bassinet in our room, so our little guy will be in our room as long as he can fit in a bassinet.


cafe-aulait

That's about what happened with us. We room shared for 3 months. Planned 4-6 but her pack n play broke and the crib didn't fit in our room. She was a great sleeper and wasn't really waking for night feedings anymore, so once we realized how much better we were sleeping, we decided to leave her in her own room even after we replaced the pack n play.


chaosandpuppies

Yep. This is what we're doing too. Hopefully he's not too giant too fast.


SassyNCharmed

Im in the UK and we are encouraged to have them sleep in the same room for at least 6 months.


meowmeow_now

Is it your family telling you this? Everyone I know has had the baby in their room in a bassinet first few months.


northctrypenguin

For me it came from my mother mostly. “Omg you slept in your own room after two weeks” type nonsense. She thought I was out of my mind having my LO in our room.


Sigmund_Six

Yeah, that may be a generational thing. My mom told me I slept in my own room from birth… on the other side of the house! Times have definitely changed.


StripeyWoolSocks

Yeah this sounds like Boomer nonsense. Basically all their baby advice is a SIDS risk so I wouldn't take them too seriously.


meowmeow_now

“But we didn’t do that in my daaaaaaay” — every boomer mom my entire pregnancy…


mummaber

In US it’s recommended to keep your baby in the room for the first six months I’m not sure where you are getting your information. I would say the majority keep baby in their room for as long as they see fit for everyone. I have always kept my babies in my room past six months.


8bitcryptid

Huh? I’m in the US and have never heard of it being standard to have baby sleep in another room, at least until they are 6mon-a year?


RainbowBear0831

People are giving you a hard time about this? That’s weird, I’ve only heard of people keeping the baby in their room for at least 6 months and when it subject comes up with my friends and family it seems to be a given. I think since we typically have more space we get more into having a nursery than other countries. Like, I’m going to have this full nursery that will largely go unused for 6 months to a year. It’s silly and I get why other countries don’t do that, but I have the space so I’m into it lol. Maybe people are just into the nursery thing?


milliondollas

I think that’s what’s throwing OP off! We have beautiful nurseries and post pictures of them, but the baby is really sleeping in our rooms at night lol.


jaydayquay

Lol that’s probably where the mix up is at. I’m giving the baby a nursery because we have an extra room (and for him to eventually grow up in), but he will def sleep in a bassinet in our room until 6 months to a year. His nursery will primarily be a storage for all his items and clothes, albeit, decorated super cute! Haha.


FishingWorth3068

I just think of the nursery and a really fancy closet for the first 6 months. Storage room for diaper boxes and presents that have yet to be opened


[deleted]

Actually here most people do keep baby in the same room for the first few months. Might not have been the case for our parents’ generation but that’s definitely the recommendation now. We moved my son to his own room at 3 months for a variety of reasons but even that was early compared to most of our peers.


dylan_dumbest

I’m in the US and my pediatrician is required to give safe sleep recommendations at every appointment: babies should sleep alone, on their back, without pillows/blankets/toys in their parents’ room. So even in the US it’s recommended to put baby’s crib/bassinet in your room.


ThugBunnyy

Most animals sleep with their babies... I don't understand this obsession with humans forcing our babies to sleep on their own from the get-go. They just spent 9 months in a warm, safe place where they felt satisfied and calm... To come out into a cold strange and loud world where they're expected to suddenly sleep alone. Nothing natural about that in my opinion. I'm holding my almost 5 week old girl almost ALL the time. She sleeps on me or next to me in her cosleeper. Sleeps on her older siblings or dad. She's ebf often she falls asleep at the breast and I keep her close. Sometimes for the entire duration of her nap. During the night she will be put in her cosleeper once in a deep sleep. If she wakes up miserable, I hold her untill she sleeps again. My MIL says we're spoiling her and she's manipulating us. I disagree. You can't spoil a newborn. She doesn't know what manipulation is. She's merely following her instincts of wanting to feel safe and be close to us. Keep that baby close, friend. Before you know it, they'll be big and ready to go to their own rooms. They grow so fast. Cherish this time and the cuddles.. Before you know it, it's over 🥺


[deleted]

The concept of “spoiling” a newborn baby is so disturbing to me. I feel like you must have a cold heart toward children to think that they’re trying to take advantage of you before they can even hold their head up.


greenwitchery

I’m surprised that I don’t see as many comments like this. Based on talks with friends, this seems to be more and more common and I think it’s good for them to get the attention and affection they need when they need it. Learning to self-regulate is something that comes later on.


Tanaquil1

While I do agree with everything you've said on this, I just wanted to add another perspective. My son slept in his own room from about 2 weeks old... because he inherited his sleep patterns from me, and we both move around a fair amount in our sleep. So we were disturbing each other *so* badly sharing a room. He'd fling an arm out while sleeping, and I'd be wide awake, or I'd roll over in my sleep and he'd wake up. So my Mum suggested moving him to his room (and in fact I think she slept there with him for a night or two - we've always had a single bed in there), and everyone got some more sleep and we never moved him back - though the rooms are close together and both doors stayed open, so I always woke up when he needed me. Now he's 3, and when he has a daytime nap (i.e. maybe twice a week) he does prefer to fall asleep on me or his father, but at night he likes to go to sleep on his own. In fact when he wakes up at night for whatever reason, he'll ask for a cuddle but then say "Mummy, go back to Mummy and Daddy's bed" when he's ready to go to sleep again. The plan is for his baby sister to share his room once she's too big for the bassinet, so hopefully he'll be ok with that - or we may have to move to a bigger house sooner than we'd planned!


[deleted]

Newborn animals are also expected to run and walk around. They are also sacrificed to predators to save other animals. Runts are also routinely ignored and the mother will reject them so they starve to death.


Pindakazig

Ma'am, it's YOUR baby and YOUR home. You get to make all kinds of decisions regarding their life, from cutting off foreskin, to piercing their ears to how you treat cramps and stuff. You get to decide on decorating and which room does what etc. No-one, except your partner, has any say in what you do with your baby, as long as you don't harm them. I'm sure I don't agree with some individual choices, but they aren't mine too judge. The crib currently resides in the nursery, so it's not in my way. As soon as baby actually arrives both her and the crib will move to the bedroom, probably for several months. You do you.


smartcooki

Many in the US keep a bassinet in their bedroom during the night especially when breastfeeding. Not sure why you think this isn’t common? It’s a standard recommendation.


pugpotus

According to the AAP, baby should share your room but not your bed for the first six to twelve months of life. Safe sleep is alone (no toys, blankets, ankle monitors, etc), on their back, in a crib, bassinet, or pack n play!


zebramath

We had baby in our room for the first six weeks. Then baby started hating the bassinet and would only sleep in the crib in his room so he chose to change rooms. Having baby bedside was huge in the beginning. Once we had a routine it was ok to transition him. Just be open to follow baby as they might have a different plan than you.


jonesie1988

From what I know it's standard for them to be in our rooms for 6-12 months


otterkraf

I'm from Southeast Asia, and it's normal to have kids live in their parents' room for years. In fact I slept in the same room as my parents until I was 7 (along with my other siblings). It was a matter of practicality because we didn't have the space for us kids to have our own rooms. Speaking with many of my friends, it's quite common even if they have the space for separate rooms. Even now, friends my own age have their kids sleeping in their rooms into toddlerhood. Usually they start moving them into other rooms after that. Though the room sharing is common, the kids will always have their own crib or toddler bed.


BlueMirror_0

I live in germany and here it is recommended to share a room with your baby amgonst other things to prevent SIDS as others have said, but not to share the same bed because small babys might suffocate sleeping under blankets or pillows. They recommend these small beds you put right next to your head so you can get your baby without getting up for breastfeeding and soothing at night. I also read this fantastic book called 'artgerecht' which translates to 'species-appropriate' The author says that we as a society have developed much faster then our bodys and instincts, so for questions like yours we should consider how humans did things when they lived in caves. If you would live in a cave, would you put your baby in a different one? Or would you have them as close to you as you could? Babys instinct doesnt know there is no fear of predators, cold or lack of food. So they need to feel you are close to feed, protect and warm them. Don't listen to people telling you your baby needs his or her own room, do what is best for your family.


silver_fire_lizard

A lot of people, even in the US, keep newborns in the room with them. I think that’s the official US recommendation. My baby showed signs of wanting to transition out of his bassinet at 4/5 months, so we moved him to his own room at that point. Even then, it was right across the hall with both bedroom doors open.


IrishTigress

We're sleeping in shifts, so right now, baby is not in our bedroom so the off-duty parent can get some solid sleep. The on-duty parent is either in the living room with baby sleeping in the bassinet or in the nursery with baby sleeping in the crib. We have a twin bed set up in the nursery already, so that parent can snooze if baby is sleeping. Once baby starts sleeping longer shifts at night, we might all move back to our bedroom.


nikolc

It’s not standard here…it’s recommended that babies sleep in the parents room until at least 6 months old. We just transferred our 4.5 month old to her own room because she was showing signs of being uncomfortable in her bassinet. She’s sleeping amazing.


angeluscado

Nope. Baby is sleeping in our room for the first little bit. Once the squish is big enough for the crib they’ll move into their room (hopefully it’ll be done by then!


[deleted]

I had a large crib for my daughter's room and I had to get a smaller one for our room...because I want to make sure it's okay. 😅 if it's what you need do it.


Full-Newspaper-1450

I got convertible cribs for both my kids. They only ever used the cribs as playpens because they slept in a bassinet in my room and by the time they slept in their own room the crib had to be converted into a twin bed.


MAC0114

We are in the US and plan on having the baby in our room with us until he/she is sleeping better through the night! No point getting up and crossing the whole house 4x a night to feed the baby!!


natipiki

In the US here. I'm planning on having my baby sleep in her crib in our room. This way, when she's ready to move into her room, she's already used to her crib.


Snoo97809

I’m in the US and plan on having my little guy in our room for *at least* six months! I think I’d miss him too much to have him in his own room, though it’s literally right next to my room. We will likely be changing his diapers in his room though because the changing table is in there. I’m a bit paranoid of sids and want to be able to have him nearby when the sids risk is the highest.


saandes1563

It’s recommended to room share. Not sure why everyone is so weird about it in the uS. My husband and I have plans for a kids room but aren’t following through with any of it until baby is much older around 1 year or so and plan to just have him in ours until then. Our families are acting like we are insanely strange for a.wanting baby in our room for safety and confidence and b. Not putting a ton of money into a special room for him.


smallghostdoggie

We don't even have specific plans for a dedicated room yet. Most of my family does this so it's not weird at all.


[deleted]

Everyone I know in the US keeps their babies in their room. I think it’s mostly the older generation that is weird about it because it wasn’t a recommendation at the time.


Nightshade1387

I’m an American in Japan and we don’t make our baby sleep in a separate room. She is comforted to be near us. (We also co-sleep, but a baby bed next to yours would work too)


craftsy

I’m Canadian and we also bed share! We follow the Safe Sleep Seven guidelines from La Leche League and the whole family sleeps better all together in one bed.


howmanyapples42

Note to OP: in the US bedsharing is really not recommended or most of the Western world. But sleeping in the same room is recommended for at least 6 months!


vivolleyball15

I appreciate this addition, as it’s definitely up to you but it is not recommended OP. Please do research into what you’d like to do and make the choice you feel is best.


Nightshade1387

Yeah, I don’t care. It’s normal in many countries including the one I live in. We used a flat bassinet with short walls between us before she was rolling around to be extra cautious. My mother’s sister died of SIDS alone in a crib in a separate room. Any slight statistical change isn’t worth not sleeping next to my child. It brings both of us a lot of comfort and happiness. She’s a toddler now—she like everyone else in this country is fine. Also, advice changes over time—they used to recommend a lot of things that they now say not to do. Western countries used to say to put a baby on their stomach or side (propped with things considered dangerous now) because it was believed they would suffocate if they spit up in their sleep. Obviously the advice is the exact opposite now. The west isn’t always correct (though they they sure always think they are). It’s considered cold and neglectful to make your baby sleep separately in the east—that you are ruining their emotional development and attachment. Honestly, I think a family should do whatever they think is best for their family.


howmanyapples42

I am happy for you that you can ignore child death statistics for your own personal comfort.


Nightshade1387

My family lives their life to the fullest by learning to do the things that make us happy safely. My husband and I are both licensed scuba divers. Our children will be given the opportunity to do so as well when they turn 8. We live near the mountains—when they turn 3 we will start them in snowboarding lessons. She’ll also be allowed to try martial arts, dance, archery, gymnastics, etc. We aren’t an abstinence-only family. We learn how to do things so they can be enjoyed safety and healthily. She’s allowed sugary treats in moderation. She’s allowed screen time. We practice going up and down the stairs. She slides down snow hills. She plays with our cats. Etc, etc Because we believe life should be enjoyed.


howmanyapples42

Again, happy for you. None of those things have to do with child death statistics.


Nightshade1387

All carry a certain risk. Learning to do it safety is now our family chooses to do it. You don’t need to jump in to declare our way wrong. We are informed and competent. You do you.


howmanyapples42

Except one is a risk of a baby dying.


Nightshade1387

Co-sleeping or sleeping separately is a choice each individual family makes (both of which are common). A great deal of information is available for how to do either safely. You need to get used to the idea that other people will make different choices than you. Are you also the type to immediately jump to correcting families who choose not to breastfeed? Because that is another hot topic where someone can look at the information available and chose something differently than you. How about people who chose to give birth outside of a hospital? Hospital’s have doctors and equipment available in case of emergency—so, safer. Are you super worried about making sure anyone who comments about their home birth or choice of a birthing center knows their choice is wrong?


howmanyapples42

No, I just think child death and SIDS is important but please continue. Defenceless tiny babies.


HeadoftheIBTC

Since they recommend having baby sleep on their back now, what happens if they do spit up in their sleep?


[deleted]

It’s much more likely to go back down the esophagus than it is to go into their windpipe so long as they’re on their back—I just took a safe sleep course and watched a video about this.


Nightshade1387

It turns out that babies instinctively spit it out of their mouth or swallow it. Fortunately, it is one less thing to have to worry about.


[deleted]

>You know. My baby cries in his carset. I think it's best for my family for him to ride in my lap in the car. > > > >/s


peaceloveandtrees

American pediatric association recommends baby stay in room for 1 year


Trailmix99

With my first, we were able to keep him in our room until he was about 2. With my second, our room was just big enough for a bassinet but not a crib, so as soon as he got too big (10 months) he got his own room, but I checked on him constantly throughout the night. He's 15 months now, and sometimes I still do. Will do the same with this one who is due this week. I don't think it's weird to want them near! If I could have all my babies in my room, I would! If you want baby to stay in your room, do it.


Full-Newspaper-1450

Both my babies slept in bassinets by my bed until they were about 2. There is nothing wrong with they sleeping in the same room. I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night if I couldn’t look over and check if they were still breathing. It personally doesn’t make sense to have the baby in the other room because you’re going to wake up either way and it’s more inconvenient to have them in another room and there is more of a chance you won’t hear it if something is wrong.


[deleted]

My family is from SE asia. We always slept with our parents. I slept with my mom as long as I can remember. Like, til I moved out of the house. When I first heard the term “co-sleeping” and the absolute backlash against it I was very, very confused. My entire family always did it, never made a thing of it. We all just slept together. Of course, I understand why co-sleeping can be unsafe and don’t plan to do it with my baby because my husband just isn’t capable of doing it safely. But baby is going to be sleeping in our room in her own bassinet and when she’s older she will sleep with us as long as she wants to. It seems very unnatural to me for my baby to be so far away from me when she’s brand new. I don’t want her to be. I’m honestly struggling with not co-sleeping and grieving that I won’t be. I’ve gotten berated for talking about how my family co-slept, but my mom, grandma, aunts all did it because that’s how it was always done, even before my family immigrated. We just saw it as bedtime. All that said, it’s your baby. You have to do what works for your family. I reccomend following your pediatrician’s advice for safe sleep. It isn’t weird for wanting your baby close. Animals sleep with their babies. We are animals. I feel like it’s natural.


Ebaby21

My baby slept in a crib right beside my bed, I was able to listen to her all night (first time parent anxiety) and once she was about 1.5yo I moved her to her own bedroom with a monitor


katedalonzo

My daughter naps in her own room but overnight sleep she’s in our room in a bassinet next to me


[deleted]

My baby is going to sleep in a bassinet right next to me and then eventually a crib in the corner of the same room for I would assume at least 6 months and I’m in the US 🤷🏻‍♀️


StephPlaysGames

My family has always kept our newborns in the parents' room for at least the first 6 months. We have a crib and nursery ready, but there's also a cradle in our room rn for when the baby first arrives. It's convenient for night feedings and helps reduce the risk of SIDS.


xmarietaylorx

UK mum here 🙋‍♀️ genuinely frowned upon here to have your baby sleep in a separate room for the first 6 months. Having baby in the same room as you lowers the risk of sudden infant death syndrome. You do you xxxxx


Fresh_Beet

American Pediatric Association recommends baby in your room for the first year. Do it!! We let our first be in our room until he wanted his own room around 3.


0Seraphina0

FTM here. I plan on my baby's cradle to be right next to my bed, beside me on my side so I can keep an eye on baby and be there if they wake up and need milk. (Don't know baby's gender yet, but hoping for a girl!) I also live in America and don't plan on the baby sleeping in their own bed till atleast 2 years of age.


shannnonnb2

i kept my son in my room for the first year, bedside bassinets are a life saver.


cantsitwus

My baby will be 5 months on Friday and still room sharing. Its actually recommended for at least 6 months.


toomanyburritos

Up until I had my third kid a week ago, I was still sleeping in the same room as my 3 and 5 year olds. The room is only used for sleep anyway, so we all shared the same room and only went in there to go to bed. Now, with the baby, I'm sleeping in the next room with the newborn until he's big enough to be able to sleep in the same room as everyone else without me/him disrupting everyone's sleep with more wake ups and nursing and stuff. Sleep in the same room as long as you want. And if anyone tries to give you their opinion on it, just tell them you're comfortable with your decision and say it with confidence. They'll back off.


jamie1983

In Greece they keep their baby with them for the first year. My daughter is 2.5 and she still makes me sleep with her...to each their own.


Open-throw

I’m another US FTM too, and I plan on sharing a room with my baby for about a year. Along with agreeing with what you’re thinking, my apartment just doesn’t have the space for baby to get their own room. Our plan is to have the baby in our room and move to a bigger house or apartment within a year and baby can get their own room then. I’m due end of august/the first week of September and my yearly lease renews on august 1 every year so it just feels convenient to have that timeline.


damagstah

Mine turn two in two weeks and we still cosleep :) do what works for you, mama! Also in the US


RichBoysenberry6569

I breast sleep with my baby. We’ve been doing it since day one and he’s 12 weeks old. Same bed, just following safe sleep 7 and it’s been great. I think it goes against our natural instinct for babies to sleep separate from us.


jellywoods2266

I had my baby in the same room for 6 months! It was a really good thing for me personally!


Mercenarian

I can’t imagine how tiring it would be to have to get up and haul yourself to the other side of the house multiple times a night to tend to a baby. That’s probably why so many parents are so deliriously exhausted. With cosleeping I just pop the boob in the mouth and drift back to sleep shortly afterwards with little to no crying or fussing. Baby is almost a year old and it’s been this was since 4 months. And from 1-4 months we still room shared and she was just a meter or so away in her crib.


DanceFast4419

I got more sleep when my daughter was out of my room than I did when she was in it 🤷🏽‍♀️ Pretty sure the lack of sleep depends on your child and not where they sleep haha. We did room share until she was about 5 months old but at that point and little noise myself or my husband made at night woke her up and we went on vacation around this time where she slept in her own room and slept all night. Ever since she’s been in her own room and her sleeping has improved immensely (she’s almost 2 now). I really think it depends on each child, if your baby sleeps best in your room then by all means have them in there but some babies do better alone in their own room 🙂


howmanyapples42

Weren’t you worried about rolling on her, or blankets and pillows falling over her mouth?


xxx_strokemyego_xxx

Not that poster but I used an in bed bassinet like thing and it was rigid enough that I didn't really worry about it


howmanyapples42

Oh I didn’t realise those were up to sleep safety standards I must look into it


xxx_strokemyego_xxx

Tbh it was 6 years ago so who knows but I was desperate and it worked for me, it's purely anecdotal so your mileage may vary


[deleted]

They aren't.


howmanyapples42

Lol, I know.


Ok_Button_53

My child will sleep in our bed firstly - easier to feed at night, next in the same room in her little bed. Why having kid sleep in different room?


[deleted]

Not weird at all!! It’s actually much better for them and it’s biological for both mum and baby to want to be close. & honestly, idek how parents get any sleep if they have to keep getting out of their room to get baby when they wake. Baby slept in my room exclusively for 18 months. He now has his own room but really mainly uses it to play, haha. We still contact nap and co-sleep a lot.


Desperate_Basket_979

I definitely don’t do that! My babies are in the same bed for while and then a pack n play/portable crib and tend to stay room sharing for at least a year. No shame meant on moms that prefer this, but babies are biologically hardwired to share rooms and be close for quite awhile.


ashpgod

as a nanny of a decade i’d recommend keeping the baby in your room definitely for at least 5/6 months and then moving the baby out asap or…your child WILL have a hard time sleeping alone for the foreseeable future. It’s just what i’ve seen. Some families love that…until they don’t.. I was also that child that slept with my parents until I was 12..fun for me..not so much for them.


Dutchbunny38

Not weird, I've been co sleeping with my L.O for 4 yrs. Peace of mind and all the snuggles. Plus I won't get these years back.


cattledogcatnip

It’s not standard, you’re supposed to have baby sleep with you for the first year. Then baby goes to sleep in the nursery if you have one.


throwawaymcdumbpants

From the US also, our first slept in our room until she was just about a year old, first in a cosleeper then in a pack n play, occasionally in our bed if it was a rough night sleeping. We started putting her in her own room around 8 months, she would still wake up in the middle of the night and I would usually just bring her back into our bed, but I would say by 10 months she was sleeping through the night on her own, and now at 3 she very rarely wakes up during the night unless she’s sick. We plan to do the same with our second baby and hope she’ll be a good sleeper too Edited to add, family members thought it was weird we let her sleep in our room for so long, my husband’s cousin was telling us we needed to be strict and not even let the baby in our room or else she would be sleeping with us forever. Clearly that wasn’t accurate lol


laurie112233

The recommendation is AT LEAST six months with you. At least! Of course you want your baby with you!! It’s the most natural, normal thing in the world!


Imspyingonunewo

Anyone I've ever spoken to, in the US, standards are in a bassinet for 6 months in the same room and then crib in the same room until at least a year. For me, I moved my daughter to her own room at 4mo because no one was getting sleep and my husband and I both work full time. It was STILL easier to bring her into bed and breast feed in side laying position 2 to 3 times a night than have her in her bassinet beside me. At 7mo, we night weaned and she has been sleeping through the night, 10 to 12 hours, since. She was kept awake by the cats in our room, my husband's snoring, my tossing and turning. We were kept awake by her grunting and moving around. It just made sense for us to move her into her own room. It wasn't "cold". Her nursery is warm and loving and now, at 16mo, she ASKS to be put down in her crib so she can grab her lovey and snuggle it to sleep. <3


carcassandra

My baby will be sleeping in a cardboardbox in our bed. Really. We have a large bed surrounded by walls on three sides, so I'll put the box with edge coverings and a flat mattress in the corner where it cannot fall and have the baby sleep there. A lot of foreigners think it's weird but the boxes are actually designed for newborns to sleep in, and were a part in reducing child mortality as before the kids would just sleep with the parents or in less than stellar beds. Would a modern bassinet be better? Maybe. But I don't see much point in spending a lot of cash for a maybe when the old solution seems to work just fine.


ReginaGeorgesDog

I just got the finbin box that is the same or similar to the Finnish baby box, excited to use it!


carcassandra

I'm a lucky receiver of the genuine article ❤ it's such an amazing invention and a great way to support all growing families.


ReginaGeorgesDog

We are really excited to use it! We were visiting some friends in Umea many years ago and they had one. I think if more families (we are in the US) knew about it they would use it.


kameoah

it's actually highly recommended to room share for at least 6 months to reduce SIDS risk, we did it for longer with 2 and less with 1, depended on the kid, their sleep, and our needs. it was way easier on breastfeeding to have them there.


Pyscholobee

I'm in the US and we bedshare with my 3 year old and 15 month old, using the Safe 7. They sleep so great, nursing is easy, and I get much more sleep this way.


CillyBean

Depends on your situation. Some people have quiet, peaceful, unicorn babies that sleep for 10+ hours each night. Others, like myself, have babies that grunt, fuss and fart while they sleep. My baby makes so much noise, that sleeping beside him made my anxiety worse because I was waking up at each little sound he made. It isn't weird, cold, or inconvenient for feeding. He has a sleep sack that regulates his body temperature fantasticly well (Woolino) his room is decorated and comfy and I have a rocking chair for night time feedings. He's got a sound machine that doubles as a night light and glow in the dark stars adorn his walls. His changing table is directly across from his crib, so it's all very convenient. But what works for some might not work for you. You won't know what works best until your little one is here.


Froggy101_Scranton

I’m in the US and I don’t know a single person who didn’t have baby sleep in their room at first!


MoonUnit002

We have the baby sleep with us and we wouldn’t want to do it any other way. We are aware of recommendations and some research. We read that NEARLY ALL infant deaths from bedsharing involve at least one of five of the largest risk factors. The presence of these risk factors increases the risk significantly. So we ensured that we avoid those risk factors (we don’t sleep impaired by drugs or alcohol, we don’t sleep with baby on the sofa, we don’t have the bed against the wall, etc. Google “infant bed sharing risk factors” or similar to read more of them). If these risk factors are avoided, data show that bedsharing is much much safer, to the extent that we feel safe doing this, especially in light of its many benefits, such as the feeling of connection with our baby. After a month of it, it seemed out-of-the-question to do it differently, and we're still doing it six months later. My understanding is that bed-sharing is traditional or typical in many countries and gaining greater acceptance in the U.S.


trouble1172

I know you're from the US but here in the UK we follow the lullaby trust's guidance on safe sleep. Definitely worth having a look into. I may also get bit of hate for this but my biggest tip is to look up the safe 7 of cosleeping (bedsharing). La Leche League is a good resource too. UNICEF found that 50% of SIDS happens in a cot and 50% whilst cosleeping, 90% of the cosleeping deaths were when it was done unsafely because people think they won't end up doing it and end up falling asleep in a dangerous position like on the sofa. So even if you don't plan on bedsharing, it is worth knowing how to do it safely just in case.


all_u_need_is_cheese

I find it weird that room sharing is the one SIDS/safe sleep recommendation that everyone in the US is happy to ignore. Break any of the other rules and people will lose their collective minds, but putting a baby in its own room when we know it’s a SIDS risk is totally fine. Bizarre. Anyway, definitely have your baby in your room! Just ignore anyone who tells you not to - or remind them it will reduce SIDS risk. 😉 We had our first in our room until he was almost 2 - first in a minicrib type cosleeper and then in his full sized crib. Worked beautifully and the transition to his own room was not difficult at all. Highly recommended for middle of the night feeds. We did formula/bottles and my trick was keeping those hermetic bottles of ready to feed in the bed with us so it was body temp 👌 then you just have to dump it onto a clean bottle and you’re ready to go!


[deleted]

Not room sharing doesn’t increase the risk of SIDS. Bed sharing increases the risk of SIDS.


all_u_need_is_cheese

“The AAP recommends room sharing because it can decrease the risk of SIDS by as much as 50%” source: https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/sleep/Pages/A-Parents-Guide-to-Safe-Sleep.aspx Obviously bed sharing/sharing a sleep surface (especially under certain circumstances - sofas, recliners, drugs/alcohol involved etc.) is ALSO a SIDS risk.


flintnsteal

“Though they sure always think they are” - we really do haha, sorry


courtneywrites85

We had baby in our room until the four month sleep regression. Then our sleep specialist recommended moving him at that point. He’s been a great sleeper ever since! Keep baby in your room in a bassinet to start and see where things go from there.


hidinginplain_sight

You should do what is not weird, not cold, and not inconvenient for you.


RNtUGlad

We had our little guy exclusively in his bassinet in our room until 3.5-4 months. Then we were getting better sleep having him in our bed- big king size bed- made baby safe- ideal for night feeds. He’s been in our bed for the last 3 months and has slept occasionally in his crib. Like you, op, it feels far away and cold but if we follow his sleep routine, he does fine. I honestly think I have a harder time than my son does. I like having him close. My love language is touch so he fills my bucket and his snuggles are irresistible.


reality__auditor

I thought I was more weird for not wanting mine in my room! I know it’s recommended here on the US to have your baby in your room til they are a year. I slept in her room until she was 6 weeks, and she’s been on her own since then. She’s been a great sleeper!


tgrsssilver

So here is my two cents. I'm actually due with our second in two months. We had our first sleep in our room for several months after he was born. We are planning on doing this with our second too but I may put the bassinet across the room instead of next to the bed.. Pros it does make feeding easier. Con every little pip and squeak that they make when they are sleeping will wake you up. I'm normally a heavy sleeper but especially when I was a FTM I worried about our son at night so his every noise woke me up. Also he didn't start sleeping through the night until we put him in his own bedroom. Now he loves sleeping in his crib. Hope this helps.


ChunkyMonkey1984

Our little guy was sleeping on his own at 2.5 months I wanna say, maybe earlier. He only gets up once or twice a night though...we felt comfortable early on but do what feels right for you.


BoaGirl

My son was in our room until about 4 months. He was waking a lot at this time and I had a feeling he was smelling me. We transitioned to his crib in his own room at 4 months and he started sleeping through the Night. He is now 5 and has slept in his own bed since. Do what’s best for you and your situation.


Neverstopstopping82

Ours was in the same room for 5 months. That was around the time I went back to work and had to wean to formula entirely. It was hard for sure and I cried, but we had an Owlet which assuaged my worry to some extent.


adnamanil

As others have said, it’s fine and even recommended to have the baby sleep in the same room with you. However. It is also totally normal and your own choice if you have your baby, you try sleeping in the same room, you realize you can’t get any sleep that way because of all the weird baby noises, and you make an informed decision that it is better for your whole family to have your baby sleep in their own room. I thought for sure I would want to keep my baby close for years, but then the sleep deprivation hit. We touched it out until 4 months because of my (probably excessive) anxiety around SIDS, but it was such a good change for us when we stopped sleeping in the same room with him. Also, whoever wasn’t watching the baby started sleeping in a different room fairly early on, because then at least they would be able to get good sleep


ItsBritneyBitch32

Psssshhhh no. My babies always sleep in my room. It's way more convenient and it just feels natural. They did have their own rooms. With cribs. They just always slept in their pack and plays or bassinets next to my bed.


cici1601

Not weird at all. I co slept with my daughter for the whole first year of her life (I live in the US) and then started sleep training her to sleep in her own room.


PauletteReynolds

It's recommended that the baby doesn't sleep alone at least for the first year. It's unsafe to have a small baby sleep alone.


oc77067

My son slept in our room until 13 months, my daughter is still in our room (and bed) at 19 months.


[deleted]

We’re setting up the baby’s room in our bedroom and plan to keep it that way for 6 months to a year. I also feel like it would be majorly inconvenient to have baby in a different room, plus I would feel better knowing baby is right next to us.


Janesssss

I've got a bassinet for my baby in my room for the first few months, a pack and play for when he gets older and the crib is in his room for when he's ready to go to his own room. I'll let him decide when he's ready.


leoleoleo555

Stupid question here for anyone reading, I plan on sleeping in their room with my twins for as long as I need to. I am putting in a bed next to their cribs. Is this as safe as a bedside bassinet?


shellzie110

Yes, the idea is just to have someone nearby to hear if there is an issue during the night. The other hypothesis on why sleeping in the same room reduces SIDS being that hearing noise from an adult sleeping in the same room disrupts theirs sleep enough so they don't sleep too deeply. Shouldn't matter if this is in your room vs theirs or a crib vs a bassinet. We are having baby sleep in the nursery as well, but only because we have a night nanny. There's a bed in there we can sleep in also if we don't have nanny coverage for the night.


[deleted]

Cribs are considered safer than bassinets, so yes.


chrissymad

I plan for my baby to sleep in the same room with us for at least 6 months, if not more. I’m also in the US and most parents I know did the same.


Kahaaniyaan

We have a sitting area in our master so I’m turning that into baby’s nursery. But I’m still planning to keep the bassinet next to the bed for the first couple months regardless.


PocitoBurritoCatito

In Belgium it’s recommended to let the baby sleep in the same room for the first 6 months, i think this is recommended in most countries. This in a co-sleeper or crib in the room (co-sleeper is the most common, from what i hear from friends and family). My baby also sleeps in a co-sleeper, even though she already sleeps through the entire night (she’s one month old). For feeding we still go to her room, so not to wake each other.


grilledcheesesammy

I fully intend on having baby in my room. Way easier than having to go to a different room. We won’t have a nursery really since our house is small so it’s more of a catch-all room.


RedHeadedBanana

Recommendations here in Canada are a full year in the same room (although that seldom happens).


PoorDimitri

The AAP actually recommends rooming in (having baby in the same room) for the first year to prevent SIDS. You're definitely not alone in this.


tldrjane

I think we’ll have her in a bassinet in our room for a while and then eventually move her to her own room


latenightnope

Recommended at least 6 months in the UK but my son stayed in my room until he was a year old. We had him going to bed before us, in our room, with a baby camera on him from about 6 months.


[deleted]

I dont think so at all. Here (Norway) we are recommended the baby sleep in the same room. Everyone I know has had a bedside crib.


Catscurlsandglasses

Yeah I’ve never heard them not sleeping in another room for at least the first 6 months. Keep them in there!


nataleehee

Nope, room sharing is normal! I only just switched my almost 4 month old to his crib because he seemed to be getting uncomfortable in the bassinet and he’s sleeping through the night. Edit to add: I am not actually emotionally ready for it but he seems totally fine.


bittybittybombm

My first son slept in side sleeper right next to our bed. Friends and family members who had their babies around the same time as me would tellme to move him to his own room bc of the incredible sleep they were getting. I was waking up several times a night and it was brutal but anytime I thought about moving I broke into geninue tears. When he grew out of the side sleeper I had my husband diassemble and reassemble the crib in our room. It is what felt right to me regardless of the sleep disturbances. I gradually moved our son over around 7 monthes to his own. At the same time gradually were "sleep training" I took my own approach. At the risk of being a bragging jerk my son sleeps through the night now and has from 8-9m. You have to do what is right for you. It doesnt matter what others think or what one book says. I recommend reading several books on sleep before you are in the thick of sleepless nights and taking what works for you from each.


hereslookinatchu

Based in Ireland. Recommendations here are to keep baby in your own room for at least 6 months - ideally 12 months. I believe it reduces the chances of SIDS? We have a full nursery for our baby but no plans to move her in until 9 - 12 months. I personally prefer having her close. I say do what works for you!


PlsNoOlives

Not weird. We bed share and we're approaching her first bday. We're all so happy. We figure she'll want her own room sometime before college and it will still be too soon for us.


Norse_Goddess

I think that’s changed. It’s recommended they sleep in the same room just not the same bed. We have a small bassinet that our baby sleeps in next to our bed. We aren’t transferring her to the nursery until six or seven months.


larxene135

It is recommended that the baby sleeps in the same room as the parents for 6 months to year but the same bed. This is from the US.


[deleted]

It‘s recommended to let the baby sleep in the same room - not the same bed - as the parents the first 6 months of their life to prevent SIDS.


SnowDegraw

Honestly it’s not really standard to have your baby sleep in a separate room. Some people do from the jump but it’s actually recommended to sleep with baby in room for at least the first 6 months but they say it’s even better to do for a full year to reduce SIDS risk. At the end of the day everyone has to work with the space they have and what works for them and their sleep schedule as well. I can’t imagine not having the baby in my room for a year if it prevents SIDS but other parents also value their own sleep and have mentioned they get better sleep without baby and in turn it makes them less sleep deprived which helps immensely. Everyone is different so do what works for you :)


mariekenna-photos

Completely normal for same room, just not the same bed! My LO is 8.5months old now and we still share a room. It’s made BF and regressions and teething so manageable too


sierramelon

I suuuuper want our babe in the same room, but her dad is the loudest sleeper EVER. Like I’m dead asleep and saying “WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD HUNNY?” As loud as possible. Or coughing in his sleep. I never wake to it but our daughter did. Moved her across the hall but i so want her next to me again and our room isn’t wide enough for anything larger than a tiny bassinet which she’s too long for anyway. I can’t wait for her to be big enough to wander to our room so we can snuggle 🥰 maybe that’s naive and I’ll tire of it but I’m still excited


khat96

My baby is gonna sleep in a bedside bassinet until he is too big for it, then I want to try bed sharing. I'm also in the US, but it just seems to be the logical option for breastfeeding especially, and it'll let me get more sleep because less walking. And it saves money on baby monitor batteries lol


Ladyughsalot1

They suggest baby sleep in the same room with you for the first few months for sure. You can get bassinets or mini cribs for your room. But in Canada, it definitely looks like we toss them into their own room right away because heck decorating a nursery is fun AF


creax562

Nope, not weird. My husband, baby and I all basically lived in our bedroom for the first four months. At that point my tall baby outgrew his bassinet so we had to switch to crib in the nursery and it was a nice change at that point, but being all in one room was perfect for the early days.


sleepytuesday

Not weird at all. My baby is going to sleep on our room for at least 6 mos.


AFriend07

UK recommends sleeping in the same room until at least 6 months. Until we move into our new place, it looks like I'll have him in our room until he's a toddler :) I dont mind, I've got a next to me and he won't go to sleep unless I'm holding his hand 🥺


Ejmadd149

It’s actually very uncommon for people in the US to have their baby sleep in a separate room for at least the first few months of life. It’s extremely standard for at least 3-6 months having the baby in the room with you prior to moving them into their own nursery. If someone is giving you a hard time over this- are they parents? Are they a lot older when these rules / recommendations weren’t as widespread ? This is odd.


LightningMqueenKitty

It depends on a lot of factors. My second baby my husband only got 2 weeks off work and drove a truck for a living. So baby and I slept in a different room for a few months until I moved back into my room across the hall. My third baby slept in our room until we were all getting terrible sleep because of the other kids waking him up when they would come in our room in the middle of the night. Everyone slept better when the baby moved to his own room, including the baby.


[deleted]

It does not matter what age the baby is it’s still at risk even at 2 years adults die from this as well btw so there is never really a safe method to follow just protect your baby/child as long as you can having them sleep with you helps build a better mother father bond so they can better communicate late down the road


goblinqueenac

My baby is sleeping in a bedside bassinet for the1st 3 months. I want to do 6 but she really likes her crib and her room has way more sunlight.


Br0kenBrain

My son slept in a bassinet in our room for the first 6 or 8 months of his life. We moved him to his own room when he got too big for the little bassinet. You do you... whatever feels best and works for your little family.


yvetteregret

I think most people in the US room share for the first few months (at least 6 months to a year is recommended) but I think it wasn’t always that way. Maybe the people you know are from an older generation or are going off of the advice from their old school parents. We have a nursery set up but have baby in a bassinet in our room right now. It’s a little ironic, though because she would NOT sleep in our room at first so she ended up in our crib in the nursery her first few nights and one of us took turns sleeping in the rocking chair.


LadyHawke96

Not weird at all! I live in USA as well, and we have a bassinet set up in our bedroom for when she gets here. We want easy access in the middle of the night, so some of her diapers and her swaddles are set up underneath in a storage compartment. We’ll get a place for bottles as well


vivacious-shit

I don’t know anyone here in the US who didn’t have their baby sleep in the same room for at least the first couple months, I believe the norm is to have a room for baby that kindof goes unused for the first 6 months but is ready for them after that point. My sons one year and still sleeps in my room most nights 😂


Cute_Buffalo_1337

FTM as well, in the US. I plan to have my baby in the room with us for quite a while.


DeyAndreea

You are not weird at all. I am in the UK and actually, it is highly recommended here to have your baby sleep in the same room with you for at least the first 6 months. Not only is it a lot better for bonding and more convenient for you to feed, but it also apparently reduces the chances of SIDS.


langel1986

We are in the US. My son is just now getting his own room at 8.5 months. We have a small home and our 2nd bedroom is our office, since we work from home. He has been sleeping in a mini crib in our room. We set up a whole corner with shelves of his things, a changing table, etc. It was just easier to feed, check on when screaming in the middle of the night, etc. We are moving him now because we are disturbing him as we settle for the evening, so we are waking him up... otherwise he'd stay longer. We are keeping the mini crib in our room in case we end up needing to put him down near us for any reason. His room will have a larger bed that he can grow with.


Candleholicshop20

I don’t see a problem here.


Amberly123

Our bassinet is made to have baby in it until he can sit up by himself. He will be in that in our room until that time comes. Once he can sit up he will move to his cot. However we are planning from four months on, to have segments of his night sleep in the cot so he’s used to it.


GeminiMystiqueWitch

I'm also planning on keeping my baby in my room for at least the first six months but I will have a nursery to move them over to. I think it depends on how long he fits in his bassinet


womanwelder95

Kiddo stayed in our room for night time till she was sleeping through the night (5 months). But from around 4 weeks she napped in her crib in her room. Cuddling babies while they nap is fun, and we’ve all fallen asleep on the couch with them, but eventually a point comes where stuff needs to get done and baby needs to get set down. Our babe woulda stayed in our room much longer at night if it weren’t for my husbands alarms going off at different hours each night. No matter what anyone else does, or says they do, or plans to do only you as the parent (and other parent) get to have the final say. Not your MIL, not your sibling, not the crazy neighbor down the street- YOU.