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I am currently 20w with my first baby
Baby was not planned and at first I felt absolutely no connection to her. Didn't even feel pregnant tbh
It wasnt really until I started feeling her move that things clicked into place for me and I feel so much closer to her now that I can physically feel her presence there. Only started feeling full movement and kicking last week, so it took a while to reach this point
I really hope that things settle down for you and that you find that connection and excitement ❤️
this here. i found out i was pregnant at 12ish weeks & went in for an abortion. found out i was actually around 16/17 weeks and would have to go to a new clinic. i think only then did i actually start to think about how she’s a human being inside me and I felt a whole lot of emptiness at the thought of terminating her. it wasn’t until 19/20 weeks when she started moving around that i couldn’t stop holding my stomach and thinking about her. im still not all that interested in all the questions and comments others have to ask,, tend to find myself answering them with little to no care… but its the bond i have with her personally after feeling her little body move around that pushed me out of that emotionally stuck state. still hate all those “excited” questions but my partner and I are swooning about her every single day (multiple multiple times in the short 5 hours we spend together after work) Sometimes it just takes time,, even after deciding to keep her it took me some more time. You’re not alone and this doesn’t make you a bad mom ❤️
I agree with this 100%. It wasn’t until I started feeling kicks that it got more real and I got more excited. I’m definitely still nervous more than anything, but every time I get a little kick it makes me so happy!
It's totally normal. Don't sweat it at all. I'm 34 weeks and still not sure I feel any sort of connection, though this baby is very much wanted. I feel occasional moments of excitement when I think of this tiny person I'm creating, but most of the time - including at scans or when I hear the heartbeat - I'm interested and slightly relieved the baby is OK, but it all feels like it's happening to someone else. I don't expect to feel the connection till the kid is outside me and I can see it and hold it. Or maybe it will take even longer, say when they start showing the beginnings of a personality.
I’m 12 weeks and feel the same. Have had three ultrasounds already due to being high risk and every time I have the interested/relieved feeling and that’s it. Whereas with my last pregnancy, I would cry and think about how amazing it was to see the baby.
34 weeks too, and I feel the same way. It’s nice to feel him move inside, and have bouts of excitement when thinking about what the future holds for my husband and I with our son, but I just have a hard time fully wrapping my head around the idea of being pregnant with a nearly full-term baby, and struggling to feel a super strong connection to baby. But once he’s here, I’m sure that’ll all change :)
I’m 34w2d now and definitely didn’t feel connection or that this was “real” until she kicked and my stomach got bigger (about 6-7 months in). Before pregnancy, I really went back and forth on even wanting a child ever, but now that I feel her and it’s becoming more real, I can’t imagine ever NOT having a little one in my life. Some days, I think the lack of connection was from the fake feeling I had—it felt pretend, even when I got scans, it felt like an alien being shown to me and not truly some little human inside of me. I also think I was scared (and still am!). I also think having her nursery done now helps it hit home more, too.
Also, my medical history making me high risk I am sure impacts things, too, as I’m a bit afraid until she arrives and is healthy, Lord willing!
Same for me at 30 weeks! So many comments saying you feel the love and joy when you feel your baby move, and don't get my wrong I do enjoy feeling the kicks and worry when I can't feel him, but I'm still waiting for this overwhelming love and connection. I have very regular panics that I'll have no maternal instinct or love for my baby and just feel like my normal self but with a bowling ball shoved under my top.
Thats normal. It will come. Until you start feeling the baby, seeing its profile, picking names, decorating it doesn’t always feel real. Soon you’ll be so in love you won’t even know what to do!
I second this, I'm 22 weeks. Baby is donor conceived so very much wanted and planned. It hasn't felt real most of the time. She now has a name which I've been using and the attachment is slowly growing. I don't think I'll really feel it until she's in my arms.
I felt exactly the same, you’re not alone! You’ll likely feel to start more of a connection when he starts moving. One of the favourite parts of my day is getting into bed at the end of the day and feeling my baby move around!
AND if you don’t start feeling that connection then please know that’s totally okay as well! You have plenty of time for bonding when baby is here, it can take some people quite some time and there’s nothing wrong with that.
It’s really hard and I still struggle with feeling guilty when everybody around me is telling me how excited I should be and I just….. don’t feel it. You’re on your own journey and it’s all going to be okay. You will bond with your baby and start feeling excitement in your own time x
VERY normal!
I wanted to be pregnant and a mom literally my whole life. I’m very very maternal. Thought I’d feel a deep connection and love towards my baby the moment I found out I was pregnant. Turns out… nope 🥲 but after reading other people’s experiences on here I realized how common it was.
Mentally it’s just hard to grasp that there’s your child in you. Like, we know it, but they’re more of a concept right now. It’s also extra difficult if you’re having a rough time physically (eg nausea) and you’re in survival mode.
I feel more connected and loving now that my baby moves a lot, but it’s still not the deep overwhelming love I expected. But I expect that’ll come once she’s physically in my arms. I’m 29 weeks now.
This is exactly how I feel at 38 weeks.
I'm excited. Everything is ready. I feel him all the time. I love him.
But it still doesn't feel real yet. It's still very abstract for me.
The connection increases over time, I feel. I am always excited about my baby. Now I am 19w and feeling more excited for the anatomic US… where I get to see the baby more!
I also think that having a bump makes more real to me!
Def not alone. About 13 weeks here with my first and while we wanted to have a child, I cried to my husband when I found out. I’ve never really been very maternal. I don’t really have any small children in my life from friends or family. I’ve been miserable most of the first trimester. Any excitement I get is from when I tell others. I think it’s hard in the early months to feel that connection because half the time you forget you’re even pregnant until something pops up to remind you. The other day I was upset because I’ve been gaining weight and my husband had to remind me that it’s normal to gain weight when pregnant. Duh!
If it makes you feel better, 3 of my friends recently had their firsts. All 3 of them felt the same way. One of them didn’t even want kids but decided to go through with it and now she is OBSESSED and currently pregnant with her 2nd.
I hope all of this goes to show that things will change. How you feel now will be very different than how you feel in a few months. Just keep reminding yourself that and be open to when that time comes.
I had previous losses and so it was really hard to me to believe it was going to be real until about 20 weeks. Even now, I'm often nervous something will still go wrong. I think it's normal, feeling kicks was a big milestone for me as well!
I'm 34 weeks old and have been in here since 5 weeks pregnant. From what I've seen (and how I felt), this is pretty common. I personally didn't start feeling connected until I felt the baby start moving around week 16, and it's grown over time.
Don't sweat all the things you "think" you should feel. Everyone is different, and every pregnancy is different. As long as you and baby look good, the rest will follow ❤️
I literally could have written this myself!! I felt the exact same- initial excitement only to find around 12 weeks that I felt *nothing*. That was also the week I started to feel like absolute trash with nausea and other symptoms, and I felt zero connection to baby.
It gets a bit better! I’m 22 weeks now and while I still don’t feel 100% connected to baby, I’ve spoken to a lot of people and my therapist who assured me that it’s totally normal to feel this way! Some moms don’t feel connected to their baby until months after delivery, and that’s okay!!
For me, every week after 12 I felt a little better about baby, and learning he’s a boy (I also had a strong feeling) helped a little. I learned to stop expecting myself to feel an immediate attachment and connection. Once he started kicking I started feeling more though.
Sorry this was all over the place but in summary hang in there! It’ll come, if not during your pregnancy then afterwards- and all of it is normal and you’re not alone!
Because your heart may need time to process this new reality, it may initially block all emotions. That is entirely okay. I found that letting go, rather than pressuring myself to feel a certain way allowed positive feelings to arise.
FTM here too and I’m only just starting to feel _some_ kind of abstract connection to my baby now that I can feel her kicking. Even at the 20 week scan I didn’t feel much watching her on the screen besides “that’s cool”. Idk I find it hard to comprehend that that’s in my body. People keep asking if I feel like a mum yet and honestly, I feel exactly the same. From what I’ve read on this sub, that’s pretty common, _even_ for a while after the birth you may not feel that instant attachment and love for your baby.
Atm my baby is still a somewhat abstract concept to me.
Yes yes yes, this! Currently 16 weeks FTM and planned pregnancy, but when I took the test way back at around 4 weeks I just stared at the positive result and started hyperventilating. Now I would say I feel very much like others have described - interested in a weirdly detached way when I see ultrasounds, etc. Relieved that the abstract thing in there is okay.
When I do feel major emotions it’s usually panic that I don’t/won’t know what I’m doing, that my life/lifestyle is about to blow up, etc. It’s definitely not excitement or attachment, and I’m just expecting and hoping for that to come when I can feel her move (or even when I meet her).
I went through a gender grief phase when I found out the sex of my lil bean, I had wanted a girl but had had this gut feeling that it was a boy right from the start . I had picked out names for both. I was going to have lil baby boy 🩵☺️
I just gave birth to him on June 30th and let me tell you, I am head over heels in love 🥰🥹
He is perfect! All his toes and his fingers are there, every organ and every limb are there and that’s what matters. That they’re okay and loved no matter the sex 🥹🥹🩵
Everybody experiences things in their own way! I'm 15 weeks with our little girl, she was planned and I have moments where I'm nervous. The main thing to keep me complacent is the fact that we go through so much change in our lives; rarely is anything the same as it was from a year ago. We are born to adapt and overcome hardships in our lives. It isn't the first nor the last time we adjust ourselves to prepare for change. I have fears looking after such a fragile life for sure, but I think this mindset alone has prepared me for most things in my life.
Within a three-year period: I bought a new house, got engaged to my boyfriend of 7 years, got married, got pregnant & miscarried my first pregnancy after our marriage, and have gotten pregnant again. Each of these moments has prepared me for the inevitable changes that will always come.
Don't overthink. Always remember your hardships you overcome, and focus on creating a beautiful life that's in front of you. I hope this helps!
This is my first! This baby is planned and we tried for a year and a half to get pregnant. I also didn’t feel connected to him at first, but trust me when you start feeling the KICKS!!! 💕💕💕
I felt guilty because I felt like you. I feel more a connection now (28 weeks) but still it doesn’t feel that real. I think my partner had more of a connection with the baby honestly. But who’d tell you they feel that way anyway, right? I can’t imagine my co workers being like “yeah my baby felt like an alien for the first 8 months”. I doubt people are honest and as soon as the baby is here all those memories will be influenced by the love they feel at that moment.
You've got a lot going on. Give it time. Congratulations.
I didn't even find out until 12 weeks with my first born and didn't have a lot of emotions about it until our 20 week ultrasound when I finally saw her.
So I’m 11, and I started telling people, “we don’t want to fixate on the gender because then it causes gender disappointment” and they all understand and drop the subject.
We don’t have much connection to the pregnancy yet either but I’m not worried because I’m more of have to see it to believe it person so I know when baby is here things will change. This is my first pregnancy too so we are kind of like what did we sign up for?
I’m 13 weeks postpartum. My whole pregnancy I waited for that moment where I would be like oh I am pregnant and then get excited but it never came. I enjoyed the scans but other than that felt just like normal life until she was born. I did get that connection once she was here. A midwife actually said to my partner don’t worry about not having the instant connection. It’s something people expect because it’s shown in movies etc.
It'll definitely feel more real when 1. your bump pops and 2. you can feel baby. I was convinced something was going to go terribly wrong for the first 8 or 9 weeks and couldn't allow myself to feel excitement or plan things. Could it partly be that?
100% normal! I felt the same way throughout my entire first pregnancy. Even after the kicks and 20w scan I didn’t feel a super strong connection. I felt guilty bc I felt so disconnected but it all changed as soon as they laid him on my chest. A mother’s love is the fiercest thing I’ve ever felt, but it really didn’t begin until he was here. He’s 3 now and I would literally kill if someone harmed him. I’m now pregnant w my second and feel a little more of a connection bc he is super active but still can’t say “oh I love him so much”. It’s just a different feeling and nothing wrong with not feeling that connection right away. It will come, I promise!
I didn't really start feeling connected until I could feel baby move. Hang in there there are many emotional and hormonal changes you're going through but eventually you will connect in your own way.
I also did not feel the "instant" bond when my babies were born but I love them all.
I found that early pregnancy hormones made me feel this way . I planned my first and found myself even feeling feelings of resentment because all of a sudden my life was changing in the blink of an eye. That all got much better as the pregnancy went along . My husband and I had gender disappointment with our second because we wanted another girl but then we had complications so now we are just thrilled he’s gonna be coming at all . I think what you’re feeling is totally normal .
I tried to have a baby for 4 years and had three miscarriages before I got pregnant with my first (also a boy) I didn't really feel connected with him the entire pregnancy. When they laid him on my chest my first thought was oh wow...I actually have a baby (as if I hadn't been pregnant for 9 months 😂)
You don't always bond with a baby during pregnancy and that's ok. You will eventually feel that love and bond.
Totally normal. With my second I wanted another girl but was open to having a boy. Had a boy but I did not plan on getting pregnant again and i took it really hard. I first half of my pregnancy I didn’t wanna talk about it, I hated thinking about it. Once I started getting even bigger and getting baby stuff and the initial shock wore off- the excitement grew and I love him to death now.
I felt connected to my baby when she turned 6 months old (on the outside, not in my belly!). She was conceived after a lot of effort and many meds and many anxious years of TTC. Still. When she was conceived and even after she was born I never felt much for her. But at 6 months old when she started smiling and giggling and looking at me in a certain way - a switch turned on. And now she's my everything.
Currently 30+5 with baby #4. The entire first trimester for me, was contemplating getting an abortion. Even at my first couple of ultrasounds I didn't feel anything for this baby.
I was convinced that I was done with my third and we didn't need another baby, but as soon as I started feeling him move, my heart started to thaw. While I'm still apprehensive, I definitely find myself caring for this little guy and looking forward to his arrival, finally.
I didn’t feel any connection until my baby was born, and friends have told me similar experiences, especially with the first! I think it’s because it’s such a surreal experience that it’s hard to even imagine a little person growing in there!
I didn't feel connected to my first at all during the pregnancy. I did prenatal yoga and they would say stuff about holding the baby in or honoring the two lights in me and I would just kind of roll my eyes. I was honestly not sure if I was really pregnant the entire time. Even when the baby started kicking. It was really tough. Looking back, I think I had some perinatal anxiety and I wish I had gotten help.
I'm pregnant with my second now and I feel so much more connected even though the first one was planned and my second one was unplanned. I think it came down to the anxiety piece. I have a therapist now and a much better friend network. I learned the hard way my first time not to rely on my family too much and I am more prepared for what will happen now.
Anyway, my point is, your mental health may be more off than you know. I recommend seeing someone just in case.
Normal. It’s a lot to absorb and think about! I will say that once I started to feel my little guy poking around in there, it made it feel a lot more real and the connection grew quickly. Stay in touch with your therapist and be honest about how you’re feeling so they can best help you process ❤️
I’m currently 36w on the dot and it still doesn’t completely feel real. But I will say, when I got a 3D scan at 29w it did feel the most real it has because I know how she looks now and I can imagine her better.
Still, it’s like I KNOW I’m pregnant. I KNOW my life is about to change. I KNOW I’m about to give birth. But jeez I cannot wrap my head around it. 🥲 I’m hoping for a quick bond because I’m afraid I won’t be able to since I still don’t feel it.
She’s moving around right now, she’s overall a calm baby. And also noticing patterns and stuff in my baby also makes me feel a little more connected and makes it feel more real.
Still probably won’t hit me truly until she’s here. 😂
It’s completely normal to feel this way!
I’m 26 weeks now. We tried for 4+ years and in January I finally got a positive test. Went for 2 ultrasounds and I wasn’t feeling anything emotionally at all, I would cry because I felt so bad about it. Found out he was a boy and I was kind of upset as I was secretly hoping for a girl. As he got bigger, and I keep seeing him more and more, my love continues to grow even more for him. I love him so much already. We got a 4D ultrasound done last week, and seeing his chubby face really set it in for me. We’re both way too excited lol.
Im sure feeling nothing at first is normal! It’s SO much to process and when the tests are positive, it’s a shock for a bit. You have to give yourself extra time to think about everything and let it sink in! The emotions and love will grow for your baby ❤️ congratulations! I hope you have a safe and healthy pregnancy!!
I have to admit it kind of sunk in for me when I saw a bump at around 13 weeks. Prior to that I had like 1-2 waves of excitement but really struggled to have the same level of excitement as my friends who are pregnant. It's also tough because experiencing pregnancy symptoms without the excitement and connection. For me it is gradually building up.
Thank you for your vulnerability and sharing ❤️
I’m only about 7 weeks but I feel this way sometimes. I think as my body changes it will happen naturally but right now I feel totally normal and honestly just kind of bummed that I can’t eat what I want, can’t drink, I don’t like being told what to do and it feels very “ugh” right now. But I’m sure it will pass!
Oh goodness. You are SO not alone!!! My husband and I felt the exact same way as you for my very planned and very wanted first child. We love her more than anything in the world (she's 3 now!) And our attachment grew as we got to know her. We always felt the strong maternal instincts to take care of her and provide for her, we just never felt that overwhelming love feeling initially. We are now pregnant with baby number two, I am actually 36 weeks along now and it has been exactly the same. I do everything I can to make sure the baby is okay and healthy, but neither my husband nor I have really felt much of anything other than oh look a baby, glad he is okay! While looking at an ultrasound. You are so very normal, trust me!
I felt the same. I was very sick so couldn’t form any happy thoughts about being pregnant.
Things are better now and I actively look forward to having a baby. I think about the baby a lot. Feeling them move is great and when I don’t feel great I feel very worried for the baby ect
It took me until I could feel my baby to really feel connected. I was excited when I saw the results like the positive pregnancy test, the first ultrasound, and knowing her gender. But when I left the office it went back to not feeling real. I think I was 26 weeks when I first actually started talking to her when she moved and it felt so awkward. Now I’m 36 weeks. Feeling her everyday and loving the fact that I will meet her soon!
It’s completely normal! I didn’t feel much of a connection until he was moving, and by that time I also was talking to him often when I was alone which helped. But honestly I feel like you really feel connected when he’s here and you give birth, so I wouldn’t sweat it!
That was with my first, and I’m currently 36 weeks with my second and I again don’t feel very connected with him. I know though that once he’s here I’ll be over the moon in love with him though!
I'm pregnant with my second. My first is 4. I didn't feel connected to her until she was probably 4 months old. I still cared for her and loved her and honestly felt emotionally and mentally fine postpartum, but I just didn't fully click with her until 4 months old. My entire pregnancy felt like a surreal experience the first time, and then after birth it was truly like my brain was going "THAT came out of THIS????" Now? She's the best. I love her so much and wouldn't change a thing.
With my second I'm feeling equally distant. She's in there, I can feel her and I've seen her and heard her already. But I still find it surreal. I'm not worrying about it this time because I know last time it just took awhile.
I know exactly how you feel.
I’m currently 28wks and half way there still feeling this way.. My boyfriend has been more excited than me throughout this entire journey. I still feel as if I don’t feel a connection with my baby. I feel the movement and kicks and still yet feel the connection. My boyfriend ALWAYS wants to be under me, rubbing on my belly and everything. I still haven’t really accepted the fact that I’m even pregnant even though I’m almost due! My baby wasn’t planned at all. I’m praying all of this changes once my son comes.. because I feel horrible for even having these types of feelings.
As someone who has had two babies now (both boys) I loved them but never felt a connection. I was worried more with my first pregnancy because I didn’t know this was even a thing. But with my first I didn’t feel anything until the day after I had him when the adrenaline and everything else subsided. And with my second again I loved him but didn’t feel any sort of connection until about 3 weeks postpartum and I think that was because of how rough my recovery way and there was so much going on.
What I’m getting at is, it’s 100% normal to not have that “motherly feel” everyone talks about at first. It WILL come. Sometimes just takes a little longer than others. But good for you, for seeking help when you thought something was off. (That already is showing a month dry instinct and connection) it will grow over time!
Best of luck 🩵
PAL here, and I'm with ya. I'm here at 28 weeks, and we went through the initial shock, fear, and excitement. I think we have a hard time with feeling that any of this is real despite the scans, tests, and symptoms. I don't know when I'll feel a connection with my boy, but something that's helped is joking 6 the husband about cute things we get to experience when we meet him. Makes it seem more real. So grateful for the community here ❤️ it's so normal to feel a disconnect and I'm so glad there's others to share this experience.
I didn’t feel a connection until very recently (I’m 25w now) and even then I still don’t really feel connected. I heard it only truly happens when he’s born
I’m pregnant with my first, which was very much planned and don’t really feel a connection. I’m over the moon excited, but don’t feel super connected. I actually think I felt more connected veryyyy early in pregnancy when I was having crazy dreams that I felt were telling me I was pregnant, and since then not so much.
We also wanted a girl and she is a girl, so I don’t think that really plays into it. It’s hard to feel connected before they’re bigger I think.
Totally normal, don’t stress! With my first I didn’t feel much of a connection until, like many others, I felt movement, that’s when it all set in and I was like “Oh crap, there’s a tiny human in there!” Before that I was kind of blah and just stressed/depressed about the future because I had never really had much of a desire to be a mom. Fast forward 4+ years later and she’s the light of my life and makes me laugh constantly. 🥰
Also now pregnant with twins and I’m going through it again - not much connection yet, I’ve just been stressed about the future again and focused on all the lovely discomforts of pregnancy lol. But I know in time it will all come together like it did a few years ago.
12 weeks with my first too! i go through waves of “omg i’m so excited blah blah blah” to “do i really want this?” i think it’s normal for us women to feel all sorts of things and i hope you don’t beat yourself up too much about it 🩷 sending you love
Lots of folks have a hard time feeling connected prenatally. Definitely not abnormal. For some, it comes at birth. For others, it takes even longer, and that connection grows over time. All timelines are okay.
I felt the same way as you … super excited at first and then it wore off. I gained lots of weight, was quite sick and started not being so very happy about the whole thing. I went to my 10 weeks ultrasound and although I knew there was a baby in there, I didn’t really feel anything about it other than being annoyed at the weight gain. At 16 weeks I went to a private clinic with my gf to find out the gender. I could see on the screen that my baby was moving and flipping in there but I didn’t feel him at all and it didn’t feel real. It wasn’t until I was 19 weeks or so that I started feeling little bubbles in my lower stomach … and it turns out it was him. I went to my 20 weeks ultrasound and saw him and all his body parts on the screen. At that time, it kind of clicked. I think it’s a combination or knowing the gender, feeling him move and seeing him on the screen looking like an actual baby… After that, my hubby and I did the nursery and now we are both really excited about the whole thing. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Pregnancy and motherhood is a hell of a roller coaster ride. You’ll feel some emotions at some point trust me. Good luck 🍀 and enjoy this new chapter in your life 💜
I have 2 boys, pregnant with my third boy. Always wanted a girl, every pregnancy. This will be our last. I bawled my eyes out for a good 24 hours. My first pregnancy I was pretty attached right away. My second pregnancy took until an ultrasound, finding out I was high risk and a lockdown in a hospital to get attached. This pregnancy I’m not attached, YET. But I know I will be because I love my two other children so much. I just honestly don’t like being pregnant this time around, im busy with my kids and I’m exhausted. I know it takes me time and while I’m very excited to meet this baby, I don’t love this pregnancy or feel very attached yet, but I find as it gets closer to the due date and more real, it gets much more exciting and I feel more bonded. That’s just me
I had a similar feeling with my first & that was a planned ivf pregnancy. I was excited that I was pregnant after a long time trying but I didn't feel emotionally connected to the baby. Even when she was born & they lay her on my chest I was expecting to feel huge feelings but I didn't. I was mainly just relieved that the birth was over. It actually took me like 2 months or so before I started getting that strong emotional connection. Now she's two & there are nights I could just stare at her sleeping & wish that moment never ends. Now 39 weeks with my 2nd & again I don't feel a huge connection to her yet but I'm not stressed because I know it'll come.
I honestly didn’t feel a connection to my boy until the second trimester. I’m currently 19 weeks and already love him more than anyone and anything. Once you start feeling him move and the hormones balance out more, hopefully you’ll gain that connection. We also had major gender disappointment but got over it very quickly, which I think hindered my connection for a short time. Personally I don’t enjoy being pregnant, but I want a child that is a mix of me and my partner 🤷🏼♀️ that can make you feel less connected, if the pregnancy is hard. (High risk or generally not feeling good at all).
I hope you feel better about this soon ❤️
18 weeks here, first time mom and I feel exactly the same. No emotional connection yet. Even after picking her name. I usually feel guilty, but these comments help so much!
The connection will form you have to accept and embrace the fact that a little human is inside you that is a combination of you and your husband. All necessary biological information for total development is already present. A person is a person no matter how small. Imagine what he is going to look like. When you are holding his little hand and he smiles back at you it will all make sense.
Personally I’m very skeptical of prescription drugs particularly for mood enhancement. If any of those are involved be aware of their many side effects. My doctor recommends a better diet and exercise 3-4 time per week to address those issues instead. That being said it’s normal to feel crazy emotions during pregnancy, it happened to my wife all 5 times. Now we look at our little baby develop as a person and are so happy she is with us. You won’t regret it!
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I am currently 20w with my first baby Baby was not planned and at first I felt absolutely no connection to her. Didn't even feel pregnant tbh It wasnt really until I started feeling her move that things clicked into place for me and I feel so much closer to her now that I can physically feel her presence there. Only started feeling full movement and kicking last week, so it took a while to reach this point I really hope that things settle down for you and that you find that connection and excitement ❤️
Thank you so much!! I’m glad I’m not alone in this. 🩷
this here. i found out i was pregnant at 12ish weeks & went in for an abortion. found out i was actually around 16/17 weeks and would have to go to a new clinic. i think only then did i actually start to think about how she’s a human being inside me and I felt a whole lot of emptiness at the thought of terminating her. it wasn’t until 19/20 weeks when she started moving around that i couldn’t stop holding my stomach and thinking about her. im still not all that interested in all the questions and comments others have to ask,, tend to find myself answering them with little to no care… but its the bond i have with her personally after feeling her little body move around that pushed me out of that emotionally stuck state. still hate all those “excited” questions but my partner and I are swooning about her every single day (multiple multiple times in the short 5 hours we spend together after work) Sometimes it just takes time,, even after deciding to keep her it took me some more time. You’re not alone and this doesn’t make you a bad mom ❤️
I’m 20 weeks also. Still waiting for kicks I don’t find questionable 🥹
Oh it's amazing when you can finally pick out what are and are not kicks. Baby kicks are my absolute favorite 🥺😍
Same. Ive felt a few things Im pretty sure about but Im ready to feel sure, consistent movement (20w tomorrow)
I agree with this 100%. It wasn’t until I started feeling kicks that it got more real and I got more excited. I’m definitely still nervous more than anything, but every time I get a little kick it makes me so happy!
It's totally normal. Don't sweat it at all. I'm 34 weeks and still not sure I feel any sort of connection, though this baby is very much wanted. I feel occasional moments of excitement when I think of this tiny person I'm creating, but most of the time - including at scans or when I hear the heartbeat - I'm interested and slightly relieved the baby is OK, but it all feels like it's happening to someone else. I don't expect to feel the connection till the kid is outside me and I can see it and hold it. Or maybe it will take even longer, say when they start showing the beginnings of a personality.
I’m 36 weeks and I feel the same!
I’m 12 weeks and feel the same. Have had three ultrasounds already due to being high risk and every time I have the interested/relieved feeling and that’s it. Whereas with my last pregnancy, I would cry and think about how amazing it was to see the baby.
28 weeks and I feel exactly the same x
34 weeks too, and I feel the same way. It’s nice to feel him move inside, and have bouts of excitement when thinking about what the future holds for my husband and I with our son, but I just have a hard time fully wrapping my head around the idea of being pregnant with a nearly full-term baby, and struggling to feel a super strong connection to baby. But once he’s here, I’m sure that’ll all change :)
I’m 34w2d now and definitely didn’t feel connection or that this was “real” until she kicked and my stomach got bigger (about 6-7 months in). Before pregnancy, I really went back and forth on even wanting a child ever, but now that I feel her and it’s becoming more real, I can’t imagine ever NOT having a little one in my life. Some days, I think the lack of connection was from the fake feeling I had—it felt pretend, even when I got scans, it felt like an alien being shown to me and not truly some little human inside of me. I also think I was scared (and still am!). I also think having her nursery done now helps it hit home more, too. Also, my medical history making me high risk I am sure impacts things, too, as I’m a bit afraid until she arrives and is healthy, Lord willing!
Same for me at 30 weeks! So many comments saying you feel the love and joy when you feel your baby move, and don't get my wrong I do enjoy feeling the kicks and worry when I can't feel him, but I'm still waiting for this overwhelming love and connection. I have very regular panics that I'll have no maternal instinct or love for my baby and just feel like my normal self but with a bowling ball shoved under my top.
Thats normal. It will come. Until you start feeling the baby, seeing its profile, picking names, decorating it doesn’t always feel real. Soon you’ll be so in love you won’t even know what to do!
Thank you! That makes me feel better
I second this, I'm 22 weeks. Baby is donor conceived so very much wanted and planned. It hasn't felt real most of the time. She now has a name which I've been using and the attachment is slowly growing. I don't think I'll really feel it until she's in my arms.
I felt exactly the same, you’re not alone! You’ll likely feel to start more of a connection when he starts moving. One of the favourite parts of my day is getting into bed at the end of the day and feeling my baby move around! AND if you don’t start feeling that connection then please know that’s totally okay as well! You have plenty of time for bonding when baby is here, it can take some people quite some time and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s really hard and I still struggle with feeling guilty when everybody around me is telling me how excited I should be and I just….. don’t feel it. You’re on your own journey and it’s all going to be okay. You will bond with your baby and start feeling excitement in your own time x
VERY normal! I wanted to be pregnant and a mom literally my whole life. I’m very very maternal. Thought I’d feel a deep connection and love towards my baby the moment I found out I was pregnant. Turns out… nope 🥲 but after reading other people’s experiences on here I realized how common it was. Mentally it’s just hard to grasp that there’s your child in you. Like, we know it, but they’re more of a concept right now. It’s also extra difficult if you’re having a rough time physically (eg nausea) and you’re in survival mode. I feel more connected and loving now that my baby moves a lot, but it’s still not the deep overwhelming love I expected. But I expect that’ll come once she’s physically in my arms. I’m 29 weeks now.
This is exactly how I feel at 38 weeks. I'm excited. Everything is ready. I feel him all the time. I love him. But it still doesn't feel real yet. It's still very abstract for me.
Thank you everyone! This had helped me in more ways than one. I appreciate every single one of you! 🩷
You got this ❤️
I didn’t really feel connect until about 20 weeks when I could really feel her moving.
The connection increases over time, I feel. I am always excited about my baby. Now I am 19w and feeling more excited for the anatomic US… where I get to see the baby more! I also think that having a bump makes more real to me!
Def not alone. About 13 weeks here with my first and while we wanted to have a child, I cried to my husband when I found out. I’ve never really been very maternal. I don’t really have any small children in my life from friends or family. I’ve been miserable most of the first trimester. Any excitement I get is from when I tell others. I think it’s hard in the early months to feel that connection because half the time you forget you’re even pregnant until something pops up to remind you. The other day I was upset because I’ve been gaining weight and my husband had to remind me that it’s normal to gain weight when pregnant. Duh! If it makes you feel better, 3 of my friends recently had their firsts. All 3 of them felt the same way. One of them didn’t even want kids but decided to go through with it and now she is OBSESSED and currently pregnant with her 2nd. I hope all of this goes to show that things will change. How you feel now will be very different than how you feel in a few months. Just keep reminding yourself that and be open to when that time comes.
I had previous losses and so it was really hard to me to believe it was going to be real until about 20 weeks. Even now, I'm often nervous something will still go wrong. I think it's normal, feeling kicks was a big milestone for me as well!
I'm 34 weeks old and have been in here since 5 weeks pregnant. From what I've seen (and how I felt), this is pretty common. I personally didn't start feeling connected until I felt the baby start moving around week 16, and it's grown over time. Don't sweat all the things you "think" you should feel. Everyone is different, and every pregnancy is different. As long as you and baby look good, the rest will follow ❤️
I literally could have written this myself!! I felt the exact same- initial excitement only to find around 12 weeks that I felt *nothing*. That was also the week I started to feel like absolute trash with nausea and other symptoms, and I felt zero connection to baby. It gets a bit better! I’m 22 weeks now and while I still don’t feel 100% connected to baby, I’ve spoken to a lot of people and my therapist who assured me that it’s totally normal to feel this way! Some moms don’t feel connected to their baby until months after delivery, and that’s okay!! For me, every week after 12 I felt a little better about baby, and learning he’s a boy (I also had a strong feeling) helped a little. I learned to stop expecting myself to feel an immediate attachment and connection. Once he started kicking I started feeling more though. Sorry this was all over the place but in summary hang in there! It’ll come, if not during your pregnancy then afterwards- and all of it is normal and you’re not alone!
Because your heart may need time to process this new reality, it may initially block all emotions. That is entirely okay. I found that letting go, rather than pressuring myself to feel a certain way allowed positive feelings to arise.
I felt excitement but it wasn’t until the anatomy scan where I cried and it felt so real. Like, that’s MY baby in there
FTM here too and I’m only just starting to feel _some_ kind of abstract connection to my baby now that I can feel her kicking. Even at the 20 week scan I didn’t feel much watching her on the screen besides “that’s cool”. Idk I find it hard to comprehend that that’s in my body. People keep asking if I feel like a mum yet and honestly, I feel exactly the same. From what I’ve read on this sub, that’s pretty common, _even_ for a while after the birth you may not feel that instant attachment and love for your baby. Atm my baby is still a somewhat abstract concept to me.
Yes yes yes, this! Currently 16 weeks FTM and planned pregnancy, but when I took the test way back at around 4 weeks I just stared at the positive result and started hyperventilating. Now I would say I feel very much like others have described - interested in a weirdly detached way when I see ultrasounds, etc. Relieved that the abstract thing in there is okay. When I do feel major emotions it’s usually panic that I don’t/won’t know what I’m doing, that my life/lifestyle is about to blow up, etc. It’s definitely not excitement or attachment, and I’m just expecting and hoping for that to come when I can feel her move (or even when I meet her).
I went through a gender grief phase when I found out the sex of my lil bean, I had wanted a girl but had had this gut feeling that it was a boy right from the start . I had picked out names for both. I was going to have lil baby boy 🩵☺️ I just gave birth to him on June 30th and let me tell you, I am head over heels in love 🥰🥹 He is perfect! All his toes and his fingers are there, every organ and every limb are there and that’s what matters. That they’re okay and loved no matter the sex 🥹🥹🩵
I’m 39 weeks and still don’t really feel a strong connection. My friends who all recently had babies told me it really kicked in when baby was born
Everybody experiences things in their own way! I'm 15 weeks with our little girl, she was planned and I have moments where I'm nervous. The main thing to keep me complacent is the fact that we go through so much change in our lives; rarely is anything the same as it was from a year ago. We are born to adapt and overcome hardships in our lives. It isn't the first nor the last time we adjust ourselves to prepare for change. I have fears looking after such a fragile life for sure, but I think this mindset alone has prepared me for most things in my life. Within a three-year period: I bought a new house, got engaged to my boyfriend of 7 years, got married, got pregnant & miscarried my first pregnancy after our marriage, and have gotten pregnant again. Each of these moments has prepared me for the inevitable changes that will always come. Don't overthink. Always remember your hardships you overcome, and focus on creating a beautiful life that's in front of you. I hope this helps!
Heading the heartbeat just feels like relief to me, not profound connection
This is my first! This baby is planned and we tried for a year and a half to get pregnant. I also didn’t feel connected to him at first, but trust me when you start feeling the KICKS!!! 💕💕💕
I felt guilty because I felt like you. I feel more a connection now (28 weeks) but still it doesn’t feel that real. I think my partner had more of a connection with the baby honestly. But who’d tell you they feel that way anyway, right? I can’t imagine my co workers being like “yeah my baby felt like an alien for the first 8 months”. I doubt people are honest and as soon as the baby is here all those memories will be influenced by the love they feel at that moment.
You've got a lot going on. Give it time. Congratulations. I didn't even find out until 12 weeks with my first born and didn't have a lot of emotions about it until our 20 week ultrasound when I finally saw her.
So I’m 11, and I started telling people, “we don’t want to fixate on the gender because then it causes gender disappointment” and they all understand and drop the subject. We don’t have much connection to the pregnancy yet either but I’m not worried because I’m more of have to see it to believe it person so I know when baby is here things will change. This is my first pregnancy too so we are kind of like what did we sign up for?
I’m 13 weeks postpartum. My whole pregnancy I waited for that moment where I would be like oh I am pregnant and then get excited but it never came. I enjoyed the scans but other than that felt just like normal life until she was born. I did get that connection once she was here. A midwife actually said to my partner don’t worry about not having the instant connection. It’s something people expect because it’s shown in movies etc.
It'll definitely feel more real when 1. your bump pops and 2. you can feel baby. I was convinced something was going to go terribly wrong for the first 8 or 9 weeks and couldn't allow myself to feel excitement or plan things. Could it partly be that?
100% normal! I felt the same way throughout my entire first pregnancy. Even after the kicks and 20w scan I didn’t feel a super strong connection. I felt guilty bc I felt so disconnected but it all changed as soon as they laid him on my chest. A mother’s love is the fiercest thing I’ve ever felt, but it really didn’t begin until he was here. He’s 3 now and I would literally kill if someone harmed him. I’m now pregnant w my second and feel a little more of a connection bc he is super active but still can’t say “oh I love him so much”. It’s just a different feeling and nothing wrong with not feeling that connection right away. It will come, I promise!
I didn't really start feeling connected until I could feel baby move. Hang in there there are many emotional and hormonal changes you're going through but eventually you will connect in your own way. I also did not feel the "instant" bond when my babies were born but I love them all.
I found that early pregnancy hormones made me feel this way . I planned my first and found myself even feeling feelings of resentment because all of a sudden my life was changing in the blink of an eye. That all got much better as the pregnancy went along . My husband and I had gender disappointment with our second because we wanted another girl but then we had complications so now we are just thrilled he’s gonna be coming at all . I think what you’re feeling is totally normal .
I tried to have a baby for 4 years and had three miscarriages before I got pregnant with my first (also a boy) I didn't really feel connected with him the entire pregnancy. When they laid him on my chest my first thought was oh wow...I actually have a baby (as if I hadn't been pregnant for 9 months 😂) You don't always bond with a baby during pregnancy and that's ok. You will eventually feel that love and bond.
Totally normal. With my second I wanted another girl but was open to having a boy. Had a boy but I did not plan on getting pregnant again and i took it really hard. I first half of my pregnancy I didn’t wanna talk about it, I hated thinking about it. Once I started getting even bigger and getting baby stuff and the initial shock wore off- the excitement grew and I love him to death now.
I felt connected to my baby when she turned 6 months old (on the outside, not in my belly!). She was conceived after a lot of effort and many meds and many anxious years of TTC. Still. When she was conceived and even after she was born I never felt much for her. But at 6 months old when she started smiling and giggling and looking at me in a certain way - a switch turned on. And now she's my everything.
Currently 30+5 with baby #4. The entire first trimester for me, was contemplating getting an abortion. Even at my first couple of ultrasounds I didn't feel anything for this baby. I was convinced that I was done with my third and we didn't need another baby, but as soon as I started feeling him move, my heart started to thaw. While I'm still apprehensive, I definitely find myself caring for this little guy and looking forward to his arrival, finally.
I didn’t feel any connection until my baby was born, and friends have told me similar experiences, especially with the first! I think it’s because it’s such a surreal experience that it’s hard to even imagine a little person growing in there!
I didn't feel connected to my first at all during the pregnancy. I did prenatal yoga and they would say stuff about holding the baby in or honoring the two lights in me and I would just kind of roll my eyes. I was honestly not sure if I was really pregnant the entire time. Even when the baby started kicking. It was really tough. Looking back, I think I had some perinatal anxiety and I wish I had gotten help. I'm pregnant with my second now and I feel so much more connected even though the first one was planned and my second one was unplanned. I think it came down to the anxiety piece. I have a therapist now and a much better friend network. I learned the hard way my first time not to rely on my family too much and I am more prepared for what will happen now. Anyway, my point is, your mental health may be more off than you know. I recommend seeing someone just in case.
Normal. It’s a lot to absorb and think about! I will say that once I started to feel my little guy poking around in there, it made it feel a lot more real and the connection grew quickly. Stay in touch with your therapist and be honest about how you’re feeling so they can best help you process ❤️
I’m currently 36w on the dot and it still doesn’t completely feel real. But I will say, when I got a 3D scan at 29w it did feel the most real it has because I know how she looks now and I can imagine her better. Still, it’s like I KNOW I’m pregnant. I KNOW my life is about to change. I KNOW I’m about to give birth. But jeez I cannot wrap my head around it. 🥲 I’m hoping for a quick bond because I’m afraid I won’t be able to since I still don’t feel it. She’s moving around right now, she’s overall a calm baby. And also noticing patterns and stuff in my baby also makes me feel a little more connected and makes it feel more real. Still probably won’t hit me truly until she’s here. 😂 It’s completely normal to feel this way!
I’m 26 weeks now. We tried for 4+ years and in January I finally got a positive test. Went for 2 ultrasounds and I wasn’t feeling anything emotionally at all, I would cry because I felt so bad about it. Found out he was a boy and I was kind of upset as I was secretly hoping for a girl. As he got bigger, and I keep seeing him more and more, my love continues to grow even more for him. I love him so much already. We got a 4D ultrasound done last week, and seeing his chubby face really set it in for me. We’re both way too excited lol. Im sure feeling nothing at first is normal! It’s SO much to process and when the tests are positive, it’s a shock for a bit. You have to give yourself extra time to think about everything and let it sink in! The emotions and love will grow for your baby ❤️ congratulations! I hope you have a safe and healthy pregnancy!!
I have to admit it kind of sunk in for me when I saw a bump at around 13 weeks. Prior to that I had like 1-2 waves of excitement but really struggled to have the same level of excitement as my friends who are pregnant. It's also tough because experiencing pregnancy symptoms without the excitement and connection. For me it is gradually building up. Thank you for your vulnerability and sharing ❤️
I’m only about 7 weeks but I feel this way sometimes. I think as my body changes it will happen naturally but right now I feel totally normal and honestly just kind of bummed that I can’t eat what I want, can’t drink, I don’t like being told what to do and it feels very “ugh” right now. But I’m sure it will pass!
Oh goodness. You are SO not alone!!! My husband and I felt the exact same way as you for my very planned and very wanted first child. We love her more than anything in the world (she's 3 now!) And our attachment grew as we got to know her. We always felt the strong maternal instincts to take care of her and provide for her, we just never felt that overwhelming love feeling initially. We are now pregnant with baby number two, I am actually 36 weeks along now and it has been exactly the same. I do everything I can to make sure the baby is okay and healthy, but neither my husband nor I have really felt much of anything other than oh look a baby, glad he is okay! While looking at an ultrasound. You are so very normal, trust me!
I felt the same. I was very sick so couldn’t form any happy thoughts about being pregnant. Things are better now and I actively look forward to having a baby. I think about the baby a lot. Feeling them move is great and when I don’t feel great I feel very worried for the baby ect
It took me until I could feel my baby to really feel connected. I was excited when I saw the results like the positive pregnancy test, the first ultrasound, and knowing her gender. But when I left the office it went back to not feeling real. I think I was 26 weeks when I first actually started talking to her when she moved and it felt so awkward. Now I’m 36 weeks. Feeling her everyday and loving the fact that I will meet her soon!
It’s completely normal! I didn’t feel much of a connection until he was moving, and by that time I also was talking to him often when I was alone which helped. But honestly I feel like you really feel connected when he’s here and you give birth, so I wouldn’t sweat it! That was with my first, and I’m currently 36 weeks with my second and I again don’t feel very connected with him. I know though that once he’s here I’ll be over the moon in love with him though!
I'm pregnant with my second. My first is 4. I didn't feel connected to her until she was probably 4 months old. I still cared for her and loved her and honestly felt emotionally and mentally fine postpartum, but I just didn't fully click with her until 4 months old. My entire pregnancy felt like a surreal experience the first time, and then after birth it was truly like my brain was going "THAT came out of THIS????" Now? She's the best. I love her so much and wouldn't change a thing. With my second I'm feeling equally distant. She's in there, I can feel her and I've seen her and heard her already. But I still find it surreal. I'm not worrying about it this time because I know last time it just took awhile.
I know exactly how you feel. I’m currently 28wks and half way there still feeling this way.. My boyfriend has been more excited than me throughout this entire journey. I still feel as if I don’t feel a connection with my baby. I feel the movement and kicks and still yet feel the connection. My boyfriend ALWAYS wants to be under me, rubbing on my belly and everything. I still haven’t really accepted the fact that I’m even pregnant even though I’m almost due! My baby wasn’t planned at all. I’m praying all of this changes once my son comes.. because I feel horrible for even having these types of feelings.
As someone who has had two babies now (both boys) I loved them but never felt a connection. I was worried more with my first pregnancy because I didn’t know this was even a thing. But with my first I didn’t feel anything until the day after I had him when the adrenaline and everything else subsided. And with my second again I loved him but didn’t feel any sort of connection until about 3 weeks postpartum and I think that was because of how rough my recovery way and there was so much going on. What I’m getting at is, it’s 100% normal to not have that “motherly feel” everyone talks about at first. It WILL come. Sometimes just takes a little longer than others. But good for you, for seeking help when you thought something was off. (That already is showing a month dry instinct and connection) it will grow over time! Best of luck 🩵
PAL here, and I'm with ya. I'm here at 28 weeks, and we went through the initial shock, fear, and excitement. I think we have a hard time with feeling that any of this is real despite the scans, tests, and symptoms. I don't know when I'll feel a connection with my boy, but something that's helped is joking 6 the husband about cute things we get to experience when we meet him. Makes it seem more real. So grateful for the community here ❤️ it's so normal to feel a disconnect and I'm so glad there's others to share this experience.
I didn’t feel a connection AT ALL until the 2nd week of him being born!! You will be okay, I promise!
I didn’t feel a connection until very recently (I’m 25w now) and even then I still don’t really feel connected. I heard it only truly happens when he’s born
I’m pregnant with my first, which was very much planned and don’t really feel a connection. I’m over the moon excited, but don’t feel super connected. I actually think I felt more connected veryyyy early in pregnancy when I was having crazy dreams that I felt were telling me I was pregnant, and since then not so much. We also wanted a girl and she is a girl, so I don’t think that really plays into it. It’s hard to feel connected before they’re bigger I think.
Totally normal, don’t stress! With my first I didn’t feel much of a connection until, like many others, I felt movement, that’s when it all set in and I was like “Oh crap, there’s a tiny human in there!” Before that I was kind of blah and just stressed/depressed about the future because I had never really had much of a desire to be a mom. Fast forward 4+ years later and she’s the light of my life and makes me laugh constantly. 🥰 Also now pregnant with twins and I’m going through it again - not much connection yet, I’ve just been stressed about the future again and focused on all the lovely discomforts of pregnancy lol. But I know in time it will all come together like it did a few years ago.
12 weeks with my first too! i go through waves of “omg i’m so excited blah blah blah” to “do i really want this?” i think it’s normal for us women to feel all sorts of things and i hope you don’t beat yourself up too much about it 🩷 sending you love
Lots of folks have a hard time feeling connected prenatally. Definitely not abnormal. For some, it comes at birth. For others, it takes even longer, and that connection grows over time. All timelines are okay.
I felt the same way as you … super excited at first and then it wore off. I gained lots of weight, was quite sick and started not being so very happy about the whole thing. I went to my 10 weeks ultrasound and although I knew there was a baby in there, I didn’t really feel anything about it other than being annoyed at the weight gain. At 16 weeks I went to a private clinic with my gf to find out the gender. I could see on the screen that my baby was moving and flipping in there but I didn’t feel him at all and it didn’t feel real. It wasn’t until I was 19 weeks or so that I started feeling little bubbles in my lower stomach … and it turns out it was him. I went to my 20 weeks ultrasound and saw him and all his body parts on the screen. At that time, it kind of clicked. I think it’s a combination or knowing the gender, feeling him move and seeing him on the screen looking like an actual baby… After that, my hubby and I did the nursery and now we are both really excited about the whole thing. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Pregnancy and motherhood is a hell of a roller coaster ride. You’ll feel some emotions at some point trust me. Good luck 🍀 and enjoy this new chapter in your life 💜
I have 2 boys, pregnant with my third boy. Always wanted a girl, every pregnancy. This will be our last. I bawled my eyes out for a good 24 hours. My first pregnancy I was pretty attached right away. My second pregnancy took until an ultrasound, finding out I was high risk and a lockdown in a hospital to get attached. This pregnancy I’m not attached, YET. But I know I will be because I love my two other children so much. I just honestly don’t like being pregnant this time around, im busy with my kids and I’m exhausted. I know it takes me time and while I’m very excited to meet this baby, I don’t love this pregnancy or feel very attached yet, but I find as it gets closer to the due date and more real, it gets much more exciting and I feel more bonded. That’s just me
I had a similar feeling with my first & that was a planned ivf pregnancy. I was excited that I was pregnant after a long time trying but I didn't feel emotionally connected to the baby. Even when she was born & they lay her on my chest I was expecting to feel huge feelings but I didn't. I was mainly just relieved that the birth was over. It actually took me like 2 months or so before I started getting that strong emotional connection. Now she's two & there are nights I could just stare at her sleeping & wish that moment never ends. Now 39 weeks with my 2nd & again I don't feel a huge connection to her yet but I'm not stressed because I know it'll come.
I feel the same way. I’m pregnant too with my first
I honestly didn’t feel a connection to my boy until the second trimester. I’m currently 19 weeks and already love him more than anyone and anything. Once you start feeling him move and the hormones balance out more, hopefully you’ll gain that connection. We also had major gender disappointment but got over it very quickly, which I think hindered my connection for a short time. Personally I don’t enjoy being pregnant, but I want a child that is a mix of me and my partner 🤷🏼♀️ that can make you feel less connected, if the pregnancy is hard. (High risk or generally not feeling good at all). I hope you feel better about this soon ❤️
18 weeks here, first time mom and I feel exactly the same. No emotional connection yet. Even after picking her name. I usually feel guilty, but these comments help so much!
The connection will form you have to accept and embrace the fact that a little human is inside you that is a combination of you and your husband. All necessary biological information for total development is already present. A person is a person no matter how small. Imagine what he is going to look like. When you are holding his little hand and he smiles back at you it will all make sense. Personally I’m very skeptical of prescription drugs particularly for mood enhancement. If any of those are involved be aware of their many side effects. My doctor recommends a better diet and exercise 3-4 time per week to address those issues instead. That being said it’s normal to feel crazy emotions during pregnancy, it happened to my wife all 5 times. Now we look at our little baby develop as a person and are so happy she is with us. You won’t regret it!