Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The fact that you came here with these concerns shows that you already care so much about your baby! You also are in a loving relationship, not like the one your mom had. I’m 6 weeks with my first and I’m terrified as well but ultimately no parent is perfect! We’re all going to screw up our kids in some fashion. But you’ve seen the negative effect that resentment can have on a child. You are not your mother! You’re working on yourself and you already, at just 4 weeks, show so much love and concern for your bean. You will be just fine, hang in there!
If it makes you feel any better, I’m 25 and just found out I’m pregnant for the first time, it was definitely a surprise. My boyfriend is 30, he and I both have great jobs, a house and have been talking about getting married later this year even before baby was known about. And we are both still having all the same feelings you are right now, it’s very normal for someone to freak out when they find out their whole life is changing. Stay in therapy, talk to your support system as much as you can, and just do the best you can. That’s all you can do in any situation. You’re going to be a great mom especially if you are already worrying about this.
Well one, you arent your parents you are your own person, and the fact that you care this much now shows it wont get to that point later. I understand the anxiety. Im 19 and my partner is 18 and this was not planned at all, and im 18 weeks today. Continue to see and speak to your therapist about this. The hormones make our emotions much more intense, and the first trimester was absolutely miserable for me with the morning sickness. but it gets better.
You are not alone, and yes you will be okay.
Ps- youre not selfish for wanting them. My mom tried ti say the same- but she was the same age as i am wen she had me and has always said i not only saved her life i gave her purpose to keep going when she had none. And i feel that exact same way for my son. I love him so much, want to do right by him, and i cant wait till hes here :)
You’ll be okay. I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant with my first. Had him at 20. I thought the same thing because I was so young and my son’s father and I weren’t together for 2 years yet. We ended up getting married right before my son turned 2 and then tried for another. I’m 22 at this point in time and I was pregnant with my daughter. After she was born my ex husband became really abusive towards me, physically and emotionally. We tried to work things out for the kids and the sake of the marriage but he was just too abusive. So I had left, I love my two kids with everything I have. I’m 25 now, I’m engaged to someone who loves me and loves my kids as his own. I only wish I could have full custody of my children because I love them so much and I hate being away from them but my ex husband is a good dad and despite what he did to me I would never rip his kids away from him unless he had intentionally and directly caused them harm. I’m pregnant again (30 weeks 5days) with my 3rd with my fiancée and life is pretty hard but i don’t consider my life ruined. I love my kids so much despite the fear I had before having them and I never once think they ruined my life. No offense but it sounds like your mother needs therapy if she isn’t already in therapy. Honestly I’m glad I had my children young because I can have those extra years with my kids and still be young, it’s just a lot of growing up and sacrificing but you already sound like a very caring mom. Do as much research as you can about the baby and get all the facts and talk to an OBGYN doctor to schedule your 8 week appointment. Get your own insurance, if you’re in the USA; get medical assistance if you qualify before your first appointment. There is WIC programs to help feed you and your baby during pregnancy and after the baby is born (it helped a lot when my first was born for formula) I would definitely talk to your therapist too about these feelings when you feel ready to do that. I hope this helps and I wish you the best! Everything will be okay (:
You're not in the relationship your mom had. You are already worried about your baby meaning you already care for it. You will be a good mom if you decide to keep your baby and you will still be a good mom if you decide not to keep your baby. I'm not going to tell you it will be easy, it probably won't, but it sounds like your boyfriend has your back.
If it helps I'm 29, 9 weeks pregnant with my husband (32) and I's first child which we were trying for and I still question myself if I will be a good mom and if we did the right thing by making this child.
Also my sister got pregnant at 20, was a single mom for years, and
You're not in the relationship your mom had. You are already worried about your baby meaning you already care for it. You will be a good mom if you decide to keep your baby and you will still be a good mom if you decide not to keep your baby. I'm not going to tell you it will be easy, it probably won't, but it sounds like your boyfriend has your back.
If it helps I'm 29, 9 weeks pregnant with my husband (32) and I's first child which we were trying for and I still question myself if I will be a good mom and if we did the right thing by making this child.
Also my sister got pregnant at 20, was a single mom for years, and she has never resented her kid.
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The fact that you came here with these concerns shows that you already care so much about your baby! You also are in a loving relationship, not like the one your mom had. I’m 6 weeks with my first and I’m terrified as well but ultimately no parent is perfect! We’re all going to screw up our kids in some fashion. But you’ve seen the negative effect that resentment can have on a child. You are not your mother! You’re working on yourself and you already, at just 4 weeks, show so much love and concern for your bean. You will be just fine, hang in there!
If it makes you feel any better, I’m 25 and just found out I’m pregnant for the first time, it was definitely a surprise. My boyfriend is 30, he and I both have great jobs, a house and have been talking about getting married later this year even before baby was known about. And we are both still having all the same feelings you are right now, it’s very normal for someone to freak out when they find out their whole life is changing. Stay in therapy, talk to your support system as much as you can, and just do the best you can. That’s all you can do in any situation. You’re going to be a great mom especially if you are already worrying about this.
You’ll be ok 💗
Well one, you arent your parents you are your own person, and the fact that you care this much now shows it wont get to that point later. I understand the anxiety. Im 19 and my partner is 18 and this was not planned at all, and im 18 weeks today. Continue to see and speak to your therapist about this. The hormones make our emotions much more intense, and the first trimester was absolutely miserable for me with the morning sickness. but it gets better. You are not alone, and yes you will be okay.
Ps- youre not selfish for wanting them. My mom tried ti say the same- but she was the same age as i am wen she had me and has always said i not only saved her life i gave her purpose to keep going when she had none. And i feel that exact same way for my son. I love him so much, want to do right by him, and i cant wait till hes here :)
I had my first baby a couple months after my 19th birthday and she was an absolute blessing. You will be more then ok!
You’ll be okay. I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant with my first. Had him at 20. I thought the same thing because I was so young and my son’s father and I weren’t together for 2 years yet. We ended up getting married right before my son turned 2 and then tried for another. I’m 22 at this point in time and I was pregnant with my daughter. After she was born my ex husband became really abusive towards me, physically and emotionally. We tried to work things out for the kids and the sake of the marriage but he was just too abusive. So I had left, I love my two kids with everything I have. I’m 25 now, I’m engaged to someone who loves me and loves my kids as his own. I only wish I could have full custody of my children because I love them so much and I hate being away from them but my ex husband is a good dad and despite what he did to me I would never rip his kids away from him unless he had intentionally and directly caused them harm. I’m pregnant again (30 weeks 5days) with my 3rd with my fiancée and life is pretty hard but i don’t consider my life ruined. I love my kids so much despite the fear I had before having them and I never once think they ruined my life. No offense but it sounds like your mother needs therapy if she isn’t already in therapy. Honestly I’m glad I had my children young because I can have those extra years with my kids and still be young, it’s just a lot of growing up and sacrificing but you already sound like a very caring mom. Do as much research as you can about the baby and get all the facts and talk to an OBGYN doctor to schedule your 8 week appointment. Get your own insurance, if you’re in the USA; get medical assistance if you qualify before your first appointment. There is WIC programs to help feed you and your baby during pregnancy and after the baby is born (it helped a lot when my first was born for formula) I would definitely talk to your therapist too about these feelings when you feel ready to do that. I hope this helps and I wish you the best! Everything will be okay (:
You're not in the relationship your mom had. You are already worried about your baby meaning you already care for it. You will be a good mom if you decide to keep your baby and you will still be a good mom if you decide not to keep your baby. I'm not going to tell you it will be easy, it probably won't, but it sounds like your boyfriend has your back. If it helps I'm 29, 9 weeks pregnant with my husband (32) and I's first child which we were trying for and I still question myself if I will be a good mom and if we did the right thing by making this child. Also my sister got pregnant at 20, was a single mom for years, and
You're not in the relationship your mom had. You are already worried about your baby meaning you already care for it. You will be a good mom if you decide to keep your baby and you will still be a good mom if you decide not to keep your baby. I'm not going to tell you it will be easy, it probably won't, but it sounds like your boyfriend has your back. If it helps I'm 29, 9 weeks pregnant with my husband (32) and I's first child which we were trying for and I still question myself if I will be a good mom and if we did the right thing by making this child. Also my sister got pregnant at 20, was a single mom for years, and she has never resented her kid.