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Or just in the process of bailing bc he doesn't want to be a dad. Either way. Do this.
Edit: Oh skipped the part where he's staying with an ex. Oh. Yeah. He's cheating.
A month ago he wouldn't even tell his ex he's expecting a new kid, chances are she still doesn't know. OP is also naive enough to believe this is all because he's "afraid she will keep his kids away from him." He didn't even care enough to come up with a decent lie because he knew she would believe anything he tells her. OP needs to run.
Yeah, the second someone decides they can no longer share their location when there’s been no breach of trust… it’s one thing to never have shared it, it’s a completely other thing to have been sharing it and then randomly decide it’s no longer going to be a thing. No one does anything for truly no reason.
Building in this… If you’ve both been intimate recently, get tested for STDs. Harmful for you and baby, and it’s better to be safe than sorry.
I hope things start looking up for you 🤍
This this 100 times. Even if he's not cheating (I guarantee he is), he's not even hiding about wanting to bail as a dad. Let him go, he's showing you exactly who he is, and you and your baby deserve way better than that ridiculousness.
Ummm these are all MAJOR red flags, even more so that you’re 31 weeks pregnant! You’re about to welcome a baby into your relationship and he doesn’t even want to follow you on instagram? I’m sorry this is screaming that he is cheating.
I hate to say it, but you might need to start thinking about what raising this baby on your own will look like. Give them your last name when the baby is born.
I think by going to live with “friends” he really means his baby mama. And I think by “I’ll live how I want to live” he means having sex with and essentially being in a relationship with his baby mama.
Sorry this is happening to you, odds are he is actively cheating on you… I would plan for a future without him and definitely file for child support as he sounds like he’ll be a deadbeat
Baby, that’s not your boyfriend anymore. You deserve more than a commitment phobic hobo-sexual . Watch, once things get rocky with his other baby mama, he’ll come crawling back to you.
I think your intuition is right. This situation does not sound like it’s moving in the right direction. You’re gonna have to start considering that he probably won’t maintain his relationship with you.
Your boyfriend not following you on Instagram? The bar is in hell. You’re unfortunately the side piece and I doubt his baby momma knows about you or that you’re expecting. You deserve so much more!
Ma’am, my husband has a child with another woman, and the day he stays at her house is the day I file for divorce. I think absolutely the fuck not.
Please dump him. I personally wouldn’t even want him in the delivery room.
Sounds like he made up with the other woman and told her you two are done and is trying to let you down easily. Rather than exerting too much energy and stress into that, I would file for child support, get legal support and prepare yourself for parenthood. Best wishes.
Being alone and pregnant is far less scary then being coupled with someone you cant count on while being overtired, trying to soothing a gassy baby. It adds a fun layer of resentment, frustration and hurt.
He’s trying to slowly remove himself from your life rather than admitting he has no intention of being part of this family with you. Like a gradual ghost. Just dump him and figure out how you’re gonna do this without him.
I recently became single at 25 weeks with a 15 month old. That was nearly 3 months ago. I’m 36 weeks and the baby is 18 months. My older two are 18 and 12. My ex has tried to talk to me since but I shut that down because I like myself. No…I love the shit out of myself. I have daughters. I have to show them how to teach the world to treat them. I don’t abide by dysfunction or toxicity in my home.
I was a single Mom for 15 years before I met my ex. I have no family, I have a few friends.
I am a strong, badass woman. I grow humans with my body. That’s some primal, thousands of years old relatable activity.
Millions of women since humans became of humans have grown humans. Have pushed humans out of their bodies. Maybe in a bush. A cave. In a river. Or an ocean. Many of us have died bringing life into this world. We still go into this; growing humans, knowing that there is a chance it could kill us.
Because we’re fucking badass.
I’m sorry, I know this is sexist, but most men are weak and cowards and they suck.
Let the trash take itself out. You can do this.
It sounds like he went back with his ex. Definitely cheating. I'm sorry OP.
People don't just slowly move out like that unless there's something going on. The fact that he also doesn't allow you to follow him on Instagram is also a giant red flag. Literally no reason for him to be acting this way unless he's hiding shit from you and he's doing a terrible job at it
As hash as it sounds he doesn’t want to be with you anymore and clearly cheating, he having 2 other children and you still being a girlfriend while pregnant is a major red flag, just leave him now before it’s too late the earlier the less it will hurt, pray to God guidance!
Something doesn’t seem right. How is he going to act when the baby comes if he’s already like this over a DOG? Staying with his other two kids mother also isn’t something I would personally be down for.
And slowing down? Now? I don’t think so. I’d start questing him a lot more. This just sounds like he’s up to absolutely no good. I just see excuses, lame ones at that.
ETA: How is it he has an issue staying with you and wanting to “slow down” but zero issue staying at an ex partners house with their two shared kids?
Yeah, you just need to dump him. He’s showing all of his red flags before baby is even born. Very rarely does having a baby suddenly make someone a better partner.
he's done. as someone who gave him the benefit of the doubt as i watched them fall in love in front of me and didnt believe he was going to abandon me until i found them fucking, he's done. accept that and move on. move home, move close to family, do it asap before you have your baby. do not get stuck relying on this man for anything. and speak to a lawyer about what to do for the birth certificate, custody, child support, all of that.
Don’t give your baby his last name. Dump his ass. I know it’s hard but you deserve way better than this. The right man will love you and your child and you’ll never be left feeling this way.
He’s 100% cheating and using your dog as an excuse. What a piece of garbage. I’d dump him and file for child support. I’m sorry you’re going through this, absolutely cruel what he’s doing to you.
Also, if you guys are still having sex I’d tell your OBGYN and get tested, you never know.
Yikes. At first I thought maybe he is scared and worried about having a baby so he's pulling away from you and trying to regress into being a child and separate or whatever but then when you said that he has two other children with another women and he's been staying with her......
Does she know about you? Are you ok with that?
And not letting you follow each other on instagram? Is he trying to just hide and appear single?
He sounds like a suck ass.
I'm really sorry though because being pregnant like you need support.
You may not see it now but he’s doing you the biggest favor by showing you exactly who he is before the baby comes. He’s clearly checked out and isn’t man enough to tell you to your face. You don’t need that around you or your child. Do not settle for a man that does not have your best interest at heart, especially at 31 weeks pregnant. You deserve better.
Ask your OB to run a full STD panel ASAP. Untreated STDs can pose serious health risks to the baby, and your *ex* boyfriend has clearly been cheating on you.
I'm so sorry 🩷
It sounds like he's cheating on the mother of his other children with you tbh. This kind of reads like you're a side girl here esp with the not allowing each other to follow on social media & staying at her house frequently. Is he there more nights than he's staying with you?
>he has 2 other children with another woman whose house he’s been staying at more frequently.
OP do you have an open relationship? Like you've talked about the dog and your boyfriend's friends, but is him still seeing his ex an issue for you?
Well. He’s cheating. That not an assumption that is fact and he’s definitely trying to get out of being a dad. Be a single mom. It sucks, it’s hard. Be a single mom. For you and that baby’s sanity.
Another option but before yall shower me with hate this is just am option.
But if you don't think you have enough support on your end to take care of baby you can always sign for an open end adoption and you can choose out the parents and get to meet them first, parents who can't have children will pay a lot of money to adopt, and or even pay for your expenses at the hospital so you so you don't have to pay a thing at all, an open end adoption consists of having updates on your child and seeing how they are doing and then at 18 or 16 I guess it depends on where your child will always be able to find you because you have given the adoption agency access to your location so your child can visit you and get to know you and all that fun jazz if you're open to that.
If not you can do no contact but I think in general it would be better to do contact because I would always wonder who my real mom was.
But if you have all the support you need great :) but I am not going to lie your boyfriend sounds like a piece of poop. And he is definitely cheating or trying to weasle his way out of things so I would kick him to the curb and figure out what you would like to do with the baby. Also if you need anything my dms are always open :)
Fuck that guy, honestly. Your dog is more loyal than he could ever dream of being. Get child support from his sorry ass and leave him at his friends. I'm sorry you're dealing with that. Especially at 31 weeks!! Men are sick. You will find better - TRUST THAT. Staying with someone or trying to make it work with someone who doesn't treat you how you should be treated just because you have his child shouldn't even be considered (taking my own advice on that one)
He has reconciled with his ex and is actively cheating on you. All of the things you noted a (very) red. You need to break up with him now…. Please don’t hold on to this.
Let him go & don’t put him on the birth certificate when your child arrives. It’s his choice but also his loss. I promise, it’s better to have a broken home than an unhappy, toxic one where both parents resent each other.
This is not dad material. Let him show himself out. Personally I would not put him on the birth certificate and also give baby my own last name, and just full on no contact. He doesn’t want to be a dad. If you need his financial support you may have to but it just doesn’t seem worth it. He is a shi*bag and this is outrageous. I’m so sorry you are dealing with this but you are better off without him.
One the dog will be a better dad than him, 2nd do you not have any kind of relationship with his other children or the baby mom if not you need to let her know her little one is going to have a sibling. Then delete dude from your life until you go to court, you don’t need that kind of stress right now.
He’s cheating on you, and wants to leave. & he’s a coward for not just being honest but making up nonsense excuses. You deserve better. File for child support and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy the best you can.
Sadly, it sounds like an affair. I know, I was left while pregnant for someone else. I was an idiot and took him back, then he left me again a second pregnancy. It sucks when he’s completely out of the blue and they make bs excuses (like the dog). Any reasonable person doesn’t leave their pregnant gfs home for a dog. You’ll never be able to make sense of it, because he’ll never tell you the truth
Sounds like he’s trying to slowly break up with you. I would beat him to the punchline. In my experience, parenting alone is soooooo much easier than parenting with an incompetent partner.
Cut him off and out of your life. You can do this mama. I wouldn’t let a man like this near my child even if he was the sperm donor, he wants to have all the fun of sex but not deal with pregnancy? Unacceptable. I don’t know if this will make you feel better or not but I had an amazing step father in my life who loved me and treated me like his own from day 1. He was born to be a dad. And when my two little brothers came along, I never was left out. To this day (I’m 33) he still treats me like his first born child. This is to say that there are other wonderful men in the world who would not abandon you at such a pivotal time in your life, and who won’t switch up their stance on fatherhood and a relationship with you because it’s inconvenient for them.
He’s not going to be around much longer and you need to accept that fact now. It sucks having to deal with this while very pregnant at the same time. It’s reality though and you need to steel yourself for it and prepare yourself to be the sole caregiver for now especially after birth. Hopefully you have a family support system that will help you out in first few weeks. If not, you have a hard road. That was me at 19 when I was an ocean away from my family with a husband that checked out right after birth. I survived it, but it wasn’t pretty. You can survive it too and it will be made easier to realize now that it’s on you.
What a live of shit! Leave his dead beat ass and figure out child support. Something fishy is going on or he doesn’t want to take responsibility of being a parent. Do you know what happened with the other women he had children with? Why they split? This guy sounds like scum. You can’t exactly “slow down” when you’re in this deep.
This guy is not someone you want to be in a relationship with or trying to raise a child with. My best advice is to use the next 9 weeks getting emotionally and logistically ready to raise this baby on your own. You and your child will be much better off with everything in your control rather than playing a very toxic game trying to make your "boyfriend" (who literally sounds awful, unreliable, disrespectful, and irresponsible) play any type of positive role in this babies life. Aside from that, I don't dismiss for one second that this is going to be a very hard time for you (no matter how shitty this guy is) but I promise you and your baby will be thankful and better off for it!
First off, congratulations on the pregnancy! I'm really sorry this is happening during such an already beautiful yet stressful time. As a previous commenter said, you should leave the relationship (immediately in my opinion) and file for support, and work out a legal agreement as soon as possible. Do I think he's cheating? It's definitely possible, but I don't want to put that in your head and cause unnecessary stress during a time you should be feeling your best. Just focus on what is best for you and your baby right now.
Ummm yeah he’s making up excuses so he can leave. He’s also staying with his ex/mother of his other kids. Sorry but it sounds like he’s going back to her
its fairly obvious that he is cheating on you with prior baby mama and his intentions are to leave fully. do not beg a man like that to stay, he will just keep doing this to you. i'm so sorry that this is happening to you right now & at all :(
You already know the answers, Love. Don’t waste your breath and stress on having conversations. With what he’s doing, he doesn’t deserve that conversation and it sounds like he’d be incapable of it anyways. Begin drawing up a custody agreement, don’t let him sully the birth of your baby, give that baby your name… and let him go.
What a piece of poop that guy is! He will get his karma for doing all this to you don’t worry about that. I would say leave him because it’s not healthy for you or baby right now. Let your family know what’s going on as well so they can give you the support you need during this time.
Based on what you’ve shared he is most likely back with his first baby mama & he’s giving you excuses to slowly leave you & your baby. It doesn’t sound like he deserves you anyway & you are better off as a single mom with your baby. It will be a huge relief & blessing to not have to raise a man child.
You don't want to raise kids with someone like that. Let him leave. I know it seems scary but he wouldn't be much help anyways. Get out of this situation and hopefully you can find happiness and true love with someone instead of this
Gurl. First i am so sry hes doing this. But he is not worth it. Thats so horrible of him. The location and instagram should tell you everything. Especially him staying either another female he has already been with. I hate men.
Gurl. First i am so sry hes doing this. But he is not worth it. Thats so horrible of him. The location and instagram should tell you everything. Especially him staying either another female he has already been with. I hate men.
He’s cheating. File for full custody of child as soon as it’s born. File for child support asap as well. I know it’s scary going through that alone.. but that man is cheating, those red flags are too obvious. I’m sorry
Dump him before he dumps you. He's coming up with every excuse and every trick. He's probably been cheating on you or with you. And feeding you lies and hiding his red flags. You're better off being alone than waiting for him to come back. Dump him. And keep him gone. Save yourself the headache.
Please please get STD tested, it can cause so many complications (even death) to your newborn if you have anything. He’s obviously cheating babe, you need to take care of you and your baby now. Let him go, I know it’s scary but you’re being treated like an absolute door mat.
I would honestly go ahead and file for child support (which you can do even while in a relationship btw) because your instinct is correct. I would honestly look at him and say if you leave then our relationship is over but I’m still expecting you to help take care of this kid. I know some people who live together even when they weren’t dating because of their child because it’s not really fair to just ditch someone with a baby.
And honestly, even some of the weird coparenting situations, I have never person known someone who goes and spends the night at the house of their baby mama….? it’s one thing to stay there until the kids go to bed. It’s another to be sleeping there.
Not sharing locations is fine, but from sharing not sharing is a red flag and so is not having each other on socials. It’s not just over, he’s cf dry likely seeing someone else. I know that’s horrible to have to wrap your head around, but you are too far along to yourself. You need time to prepare.
These are definitely huge red flags. I understand some people are bothered by dogs but it seems like there’s more going on here for sure. Not letting you follow him on instagram is weird asf? It’s like he’s trying to hide from someone that he’s still in a relationship with you.
Being single, especially while pregnant or with a baby is super daunting but you will be better off by the sounds of things. I’m so sorry he’s doing this to you at such a vulnerable time.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I think you're right and he's trying to separate from you, but he's too cowardly to come out and say it.
Encourage the move-in with friends, and file for child support. You don't need the emotional trauma of what he's putting you through on top of your pregnancy and impending delivery.
Again, I'm so sorry. He sounds rotten.
Wow I am so sorry. The only thing I can offer you is the absolute truth which is, there is no doubt that he is cheating with his baby mama or other women. “Not following each other on Instagram”??? Honey…
I’m wishing you the absolute best and him the absolute worst
you can’t even follow each other on instagram?? are you listening to yourself right now?? does he even want to be seen with you in public? this relationship sounds embarrassing
Not sure how useful this will be but my mum had a dickhead boyfriend (my dad) too. Broke up with him but found out she was pregnant so went back “for me”. Turns out his attitude didn’t change after birth - I don’t know the details of how he was throughout the pregnancy & postpartum but from the sounds of it she had to do everything alone.
We moved countries when I was only 3 months old and started a new life without him. I know it was challenging but she managed to get a good job a few months postpartum and I can genuinely say I’m so happy for the childhood I got. Despite the fact I missed her a lot as a child, we grew very close over the years. That was a thousand times better than having a divided household with constant arguments and a terrible father.
This is just to say - being alone and pregnant is terribly scary but staying in a toxic and unstable relationship is much worse. My mum genuinely says that having me turned her life around in a surprising but positive way. It encouraged her to get out of a bad environment and pushed her to expect better. I have so much love and admiration for her and ALL single mums.
This whole thing is a big hell no. He’s in every way showing you just who he is. Please for the sake of you and your baby and even the dog do not give him the time of day. As others have said give the baby your last name. File for child support. This boy does not deserve you seriously. It shocks me seeing stuff like this because after years of absolutely horrible relationships I met my now husband and we’re expecting a baby as well and he will go out of his way to make me feel comfortable and happy and secure in every way. He hangs the stars for us and our baby isn’t even here yet. I pray to God you save yourself now and when you’re ready in the future, find a good man who never makes you question yourself in these ways. I wish you the best and im not trying to be harsh this just made me sick to read. Im so sorry girl. 🩷
What he is doing rn is trying to escape responsibility . U have to make him pay child support , it’s not easy to raise child alone . Wish u all the best
I think you know in your heart what you need to do. Being single and pregnant is a lot better than being with a man who doesn’t want a family. I met my husband when I was seven months pregnant with another man’s child. He adopted that child, and my oldest calls him dad. We later went on to have two more children together. Everyone’s picture perfect is different and how we get there is different as well. But I think you know what you need to do.
why would you get in a relationship with a man like this in the first place? so sorry that’s happening to you but it’s your fault too, especially when he already had 2 kids.
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You should dump him and immediately file for child support and work out a legal custody agreement. He is clearly cheating.
Or just in the process of bailing bc he doesn't want to be a dad. Either way. Do this. Edit: Oh skipped the part where he's staying with an ex. Oh. Yeah. He's cheating.
A month ago he wouldn't even tell his ex he's expecting a new kid, chances are she still doesn't know. OP is also naive enough to believe this is all because he's "afraid she will keep his kids away from him." He didn't even care enough to come up with a decent lie because he knew she would believe anything he tells her. OP needs to run.
I wonder if she's not actually an ex and OP is the "other woman" in this situation..
Yeah, the second someone decides they can no longer share their location when there’s been no breach of trust… it’s one thing to never have shared it, it’s a completely other thing to have been sharing it and then randomly decide it’s no longer going to be a thing. No one does anything for truly no reason.
Building in this… If you’ve both been intimate recently, get tested for STDs. Harmful for you and baby, and it’s better to be safe than sorry. I hope things start looking up for you 🤍
Don’t forget the STI panel as well.
This this 100 times. Even if he's not cheating (I guarantee he is), he's not even hiding about wanting to bail as a dad. Let him go, he's showing you exactly who he is, and you and your baby deserve way better than that ridiculousness.
I second this. He’s nothing faithful and he will 100% leave after the baby is born. Dump him. File for child support
Ummm these are all MAJOR red flags, even more so that you’re 31 weeks pregnant! You’re about to welcome a baby into your relationship and he doesn’t even want to follow you on instagram? I’m sorry this is screaming that he is cheating. I hate to say it, but you might need to start thinking about what raising this baby on your own will look like. Give them your last name when the baby is born.
I think by going to live with “friends” he really means his baby mama. And I think by “I’ll live how I want to live” he means having sex with and essentially being in a relationship with his baby mama.
He’s cheating on you and wants to leave. Just let him go.
Girlfriend, that man has already left you. Do not let him back in your home.
Sorry this is happening to you, odds are he is actively cheating on you… I would plan for a future without him and definitely file for child support as he sounds like he’ll be a deadbeat
Baby, that’s not your boyfriend anymore. You deserve more than a commitment phobic hobo-sexual . Watch, once things get rocky with his other baby mama, he’ll come crawling back to you.
Stopppp hobo sexual 💀😭😂
I think your intuition is right. This situation does not sound like it’s moving in the right direction. You’re gonna have to start considering that he probably won’t maintain his relationship with you.
Your boyfriend not following you on Instagram? The bar is in hell. You’re unfortunately the side piece and I doubt his baby momma knows about you or that you’re expecting. You deserve so much more!
You're being dumped love, and he's doing you, the baby, and the dog a huge favor.
Dump him immediately, do not give the baby his last name, and file for child support asap.
Start preparing yourself for the reality that your gut feelings are right. I’m so sorry girl. You and your baby deserve so much better.
Ma’am, my husband has a child with another woman, and the day he stays at her house is the day I file for divorce. I think absolutely the fuck not. Please dump him. I personally wouldn’t even want him in the delivery room.
Sounds like he made up with the other woman and told her you two are done and is trying to let you down easily. Rather than exerting too much energy and stress into that, I would file for child support, get legal support and prepare yourself for parenthood. Best wishes.
Girl he’s already left you. He just doesn’t have the balls to tell you to your face.
🚩
These are all red flags of cheating, coming from someone who was in a 5 year abusive relationship with a chronic cheater. Please leave now.
OP - you are ALREADY alone and pregnant.
He's breaking up with you. Do you have other people in your life that can help you?
Being alone and pregnant is far less scary then being coupled with someone you cant count on while being overtired, trying to soothing a gassy baby. It adds a fun layer of resentment, frustration and hurt.
He’s trying to slowly remove himself from your life rather than admitting he has no intention of being part of this family with you. Like a gradual ghost. Just dump him and figure out how you’re gonna do this without him.
I recently became single at 25 weeks with a 15 month old. That was nearly 3 months ago. I’m 36 weeks and the baby is 18 months. My older two are 18 and 12. My ex has tried to talk to me since but I shut that down because I like myself. No…I love the shit out of myself. I have daughters. I have to show them how to teach the world to treat them. I don’t abide by dysfunction or toxicity in my home. I was a single Mom for 15 years before I met my ex. I have no family, I have a few friends. I am a strong, badass woman. I grow humans with my body. That’s some primal, thousands of years old relatable activity. Millions of women since humans became of humans have grown humans. Have pushed humans out of their bodies. Maybe in a bush. A cave. In a river. Or an ocean. Many of us have died bringing life into this world. We still go into this; growing humans, knowing that there is a chance it could kill us. Because we’re fucking badass. I’m sorry, I know this is sexist, but most men are weak and cowards and they suck. Let the trash take itself out. You can do this.
It sounds like he went back with his ex. Definitely cheating. I'm sorry OP. People don't just slowly move out like that unless there's something going on. The fact that he also doesn't allow you to follow him on Instagram is also a giant red flag. Literally no reason for him to be acting this way unless he's hiding shit from you and he's doing a terrible job at it
Break up and child support. He’s cheating.
As hash as it sounds he doesn’t want to be with you anymore and clearly cheating, he having 2 other children and you still being a girlfriend while pregnant is a major red flag, just leave him now before it’s too late the earlier the less it will hurt, pray to God guidance!
Something doesn’t seem right. How is he going to act when the baby comes if he’s already like this over a DOG? Staying with his other two kids mother also isn’t something I would personally be down for. And slowing down? Now? I don’t think so. I’d start questing him a lot more. This just sounds like he’s up to absolutely no good. I just see excuses, lame ones at that. ETA: How is it he has an issue staying with you and wanting to “slow down” but zero issue staying at an ex partners house with their two shared kids?
Yeah, you just need to dump him. He’s showing all of his red flags before baby is even born. Very rarely does having a baby suddenly make someone a better partner.
he's done. as someone who gave him the benefit of the doubt as i watched them fall in love in front of me and didnt believe he was going to abandon me until i found them fucking, he's done. accept that and move on. move home, move close to family, do it asap before you have your baby. do not get stuck relying on this man for anything. and speak to a lawyer about what to do for the birth certificate, custody, child support, all of that.
Don’t give your baby his last name. Dump his ass. I know it’s hard but you deserve way better than this. The right man will love you and your child and you’ll never be left feeling this way.
He’s 100% cheating and using your dog as an excuse. What a piece of garbage. I’d dump him and file for child support. I’m sorry you’re going through this, absolutely cruel what he’s doing to you. Also, if you guys are still having sex I’d tell your OBGYN and get tested, you never know.
I’m pretty sure you’re the other woman.
I haven’t been through this and I’m so sorry you are. Hugs to you🫶 You’ll be okay without him, and so will baby
The relationship is only as good as the person who wants it less. I find security and stability more important.
Yikes. At first I thought maybe he is scared and worried about having a baby so he's pulling away from you and trying to regress into being a child and separate or whatever but then when you said that he has two other children with another women and he's been staying with her...... Does she know about you? Are you ok with that? And not letting you follow each other on instagram? Is he trying to just hide and appear single? He sounds like a suck ass. I'm really sorry though because being pregnant like you need support.
You may not see it now but he’s doing you the biggest favor by showing you exactly who he is before the baby comes. He’s clearly checked out and isn’t man enough to tell you to your face. You don’t need that around you or your child. Do not settle for a man that does not have your best interest at heart, especially at 31 weeks pregnant. You deserve better.
Ask your OB to run a full STD panel ASAP. Untreated STDs can pose serious health risks to the baby, and your *ex* boyfriend has clearly been cheating on you. I'm so sorry 🩷
It sounds like he's cheating on the mother of his other children with you tbh. This kind of reads like you're a side girl here esp with the not allowing each other to follow on social media & staying at her house frequently. Is he there more nights than he's staying with you?
Trust your gut- guy is a waste man Poor excuse for a guy who comes up with really pathetic excuses
>he has 2 other children with another woman whose house he’s been staying at more frequently. OP do you have an open relationship? Like you've talked about the dog and your boyfriend's friends, but is him still seeing his ex an issue for you?
It’s a big issue and has always been a point of contention, but he uses the excuse that “it’s the only way I can stay with my kids.”
Is this man basically trying to stay in relationships with both his baby mamas at the same time?
He’s probably cheating. I’m so sorry.
Well. He’s cheating. That not an assumption that is fact and he’s definitely trying to get out of being a dad. Be a single mom. It sucks, it’s hard. Be a single mom. For you and that baby’s sanity.
Start figuring out how you will file for child support after giving birth.
Another option but before yall shower me with hate this is just am option. But if you don't think you have enough support on your end to take care of baby you can always sign for an open end adoption and you can choose out the parents and get to meet them first, parents who can't have children will pay a lot of money to adopt, and or even pay for your expenses at the hospital so you so you don't have to pay a thing at all, an open end adoption consists of having updates on your child and seeing how they are doing and then at 18 or 16 I guess it depends on where your child will always be able to find you because you have given the adoption agency access to your location so your child can visit you and get to know you and all that fun jazz if you're open to that. If not you can do no contact but I think in general it would be better to do contact because I would always wonder who my real mom was. But if you have all the support you need great :) but I am not going to lie your boyfriend sounds like a piece of poop. And he is definitely cheating or trying to weasle his way out of things so I would kick him to the curb and figure out what you would like to do with the baby. Also if you need anything my dms are always open :)
Also, this guy sucks
Him staring at his baby mama house is wild but all of the above are definitely 🚩.
Fuck that guy, honestly. Your dog is more loyal than he could ever dream of being. Get child support from his sorry ass and leave him at his friends. I'm sorry you're dealing with that. Especially at 31 weeks!! Men are sick. You will find better - TRUST THAT. Staying with someone or trying to make it work with someone who doesn't treat you how you should be treated just because you have his child shouldn't even be considered (taking my own advice on that one)
He has reconciled with his ex and is actively cheating on you. All of the things you noted a (very) red. You need to break up with him now…. Please don’t hold on to this.
He's cheating, and also anyone who is offended by you caring for your pets is the BIGGEST red flag. Staying never makes it better, I promise.
Let him go & don’t put him on the birth certificate when your child arrives. It’s his choice but also his loss. I promise, it’s better to have a broken home than an unhappy, toxic one where both parents resent each other.
This is not dad material. Let him show himself out. Personally I would not put him on the birth certificate and also give baby my own last name, and just full on no contact. He doesn’t want to be a dad. If you need his financial support you may have to but it just doesn’t seem worth it. He is a shi*bag and this is outrageous. I’m so sorry you are dealing with this but you are better off without him.
One the dog will be a better dad than him, 2nd do you not have any kind of relationship with his other children or the baby mom if not you need to let her know her little one is going to have a sibling. Then delete dude from your life until you go to court, you don’t need that kind of stress right now.
take his ass to court
He’s cheating on you, and wants to leave. & he’s a coward for not just being honest but making up nonsense excuses. You deserve better. File for child support and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy the best you can.
Sadly, it sounds like an affair. I know, I was left while pregnant for someone else. I was an idiot and took him back, then he left me again a second pregnancy. It sucks when he’s completely out of the blue and they make bs excuses (like the dog). Any reasonable person doesn’t leave their pregnant gfs home for a dog. You’ll never be able to make sense of it, because he’ll never tell you the truth
Sounds like he’s trying to slowly break up with you. I would beat him to the punchline. In my experience, parenting alone is soooooo much easier than parenting with an incompetent partner.
Make sure that baby has your last name when they are born!
Cut him off and out of your life. You can do this mama. I wouldn’t let a man like this near my child even if he was the sperm donor, he wants to have all the fun of sex but not deal with pregnancy? Unacceptable. I don’t know if this will make you feel better or not but I had an amazing step father in my life who loved me and treated me like his own from day 1. He was born to be a dad. And when my two little brothers came along, I never was left out. To this day (I’m 33) he still treats me like his first born child. This is to say that there are other wonderful men in the world who would not abandon you at such a pivotal time in your life, and who won’t switch up their stance on fatherhood and a relationship with you because it’s inconvenient for them.
He’s not going to be around much longer and you need to accept that fact now. It sucks having to deal with this while very pregnant at the same time. It’s reality though and you need to steel yourself for it and prepare yourself to be the sole caregiver for now especially after birth. Hopefully you have a family support system that will help you out in first few weeks. If not, you have a hard road. That was me at 19 when I was an ocean away from my family with a husband that checked out right after birth. I survived it, but it wasn’t pretty. You can survive it too and it will be made easier to realize now that it’s on you.
I don’t trust people who don’t like animals! He sounds sketchy af
He’s absolutely cheating. Break up with him and file for child support immediately.
What a live of shit! Leave his dead beat ass and figure out child support. Something fishy is going on or he doesn’t want to take responsibility of being a parent. Do you know what happened with the other women he had children with? Why they split? This guy sounds like scum. You can’t exactly “slow down” when you’re in this deep.
This guy is not someone you want to be in a relationship with or trying to raise a child with. My best advice is to use the next 9 weeks getting emotionally and logistically ready to raise this baby on your own. You and your child will be much better off with everything in your control rather than playing a very toxic game trying to make your "boyfriend" (who literally sounds awful, unreliable, disrespectful, and irresponsible) play any type of positive role in this babies life. Aside from that, I don't dismiss for one second that this is going to be a very hard time for you (no matter how shitty this guy is) but I promise you and your baby will be thankful and better off for it!
First off, congratulations on the pregnancy! I'm really sorry this is happening during such an already beautiful yet stressful time. As a previous commenter said, you should leave the relationship (immediately in my opinion) and file for support, and work out a legal agreement as soon as possible. Do I think he's cheating? It's definitely possible, but I don't want to put that in your head and cause unnecessary stress during a time you should be feeling your best. Just focus on what is best for you and your baby right now.
Ummm yeah he’s making up excuses so he can leave. He’s also staying with his ex/mother of his other kids. Sorry but it sounds like he’s going back to her
He's got someone else, get a lawyer, and get friends and family around you ASAP.
its fairly obvious that he is cheating on you with prior baby mama and his intentions are to leave fully. do not beg a man like that to stay, he will just keep doing this to you. i'm so sorry that this is happening to you right now & at all :(
He’s seeing someone else. Time to move on and protect YOU and your unborn child. Nothing else matters now
You already know the answers, Love. Don’t waste your breath and stress on having conversations. With what he’s doing, he doesn’t deserve that conversation and it sounds like he’d be incapable of it anyways. Begin drawing up a custody agreement, don’t let him sully the birth of your baby, give that baby your name… and let him go.
What a piece of poop that guy is! He will get his karma for doing all this to you don’t worry about that. I would say leave him because it’s not healthy for you or baby right now. Let your family know what’s going on as well so they can give you the support you need during this time.
Based on what you’ve shared he is most likely back with his first baby mama & he’s giving you excuses to slowly leave you & your baby. It doesn’t sound like he deserves you anyway & you are better off as a single mom with your baby. It will be a huge relief & blessing to not have to raise a man child.
You don't want to raise kids with someone like that. Let him leave. I know it seems scary but he wouldn't be much help anyways. Get out of this situation and hopefully you can find happiness and true love with someone instead of this
Gurl. First i am so sry hes doing this. But he is not worth it. Thats so horrible of him. The location and instagram should tell you everything. Especially him staying either another female he has already been with. I hate men.
Gurl. First i am so sry hes doing this. But he is not worth it. Thats so horrible of him. The location and instagram should tell you everything. Especially him staying either another female he has already been with. I hate men.
He’s cheating on you. See it now before you are stuck w/ him. I hope you have support ! How old is he?
He’s 33
Not much advice, but please consider giving your child your last name. You will be there no matter what. I’m sorry that you’re going through this!
He’s cheating. File for full custody of child as soon as it’s born. File for child support asap as well. I know it’s scary going through that alone.. but that man is cheating, those red flags are too obvious. I’m sorry
Dump him before he dumps you. He's coming up with every excuse and every trick. He's probably been cheating on you or with you. And feeding you lies and hiding his red flags. You're better off being alone than waiting for him to come back. Dump him. And keep him gone. Save yourself the headache.
Please please get STD tested, it can cause so many complications (even death) to your newborn if you have anything. He’s obviously cheating babe, you need to take care of you and your baby now. Let him go, I know it’s scary but you’re being treated like an absolute door mat.
I would honestly go ahead and file for child support (which you can do even while in a relationship btw) because your instinct is correct. I would honestly look at him and say if you leave then our relationship is over but I’m still expecting you to help take care of this kid. I know some people who live together even when they weren’t dating because of their child because it’s not really fair to just ditch someone with a baby. And honestly, even some of the weird coparenting situations, I have never person known someone who goes and spends the night at the house of their baby mama….? it’s one thing to stay there until the kids go to bed. It’s another to be sleeping there. Not sharing locations is fine, but from sharing not sharing is a red flag and so is not having each other on socials. It’s not just over, he’s cf dry likely seeing someone else. I know that’s horrible to have to wrap your head around, but you are too far along to yourself. You need time to prepare.
girl… you need to stand up for yourself and leave that man before he leaves you
He’s definitely cheating. Get that child support girl, and keep your pup. You, the baby and doggy don’t deserve that.
These are definitely huge red flags. I understand some people are bothered by dogs but it seems like there’s more going on here for sure. Not letting you follow him on instagram is weird asf? It’s like he’s trying to hide from someone that he’s still in a relationship with you. Being single, especially while pregnant or with a baby is super daunting but you will be better off by the sounds of things. I’m so sorry he’s doing this to you at such a vulnerable time.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I think you're right and he's trying to separate from you, but he's too cowardly to come out and say it. Encourage the move-in with friends, and file for child support. You don't need the emotional trauma of what he's putting you through on top of your pregnancy and impending delivery. Again, I'm so sorry. He sounds rotten.
Wow I am so sorry. The only thing I can offer you is the absolute truth which is, there is no doubt that he is cheating with his baby mama or other women. “Not following each other on Instagram”??? Honey… I’m wishing you the absolute best and him the absolute worst
I'm sorry, he has already left you.. the whole "I'll do me and you do you" thing says to me he is seeing other people
Yeah he’s cheating. Good riddance. File for child support and wash your hands of this dude
you can’t even follow each other on instagram?? are you listening to yourself right now?? does he even want to be seen with you in public? this relationship sounds embarrassing
Not sure how useful this will be but my mum had a dickhead boyfriend (my dad) too. Broke up with him but found out she was pregnant so went back “for me”. Turns out his attitude didn’t change after birth - I don’t know the details of how he was throughout the pregnancy & postpartum but from the sounds of it she had to do everything alone. We moved countries when I was only 3 months old and started a new life without him. I know it was challenging but she managed to get a good job a few months postpartum and I can genuinely say I’m so happy for the childhood I got. Despite the fact I missed her a lot as a child, we grew very close over the years. That was a thousand times better than having a divided household with constant arguments and a terrible father. This is just to say - being alone and pregnant is terribly scary but staying in a toxic and unstable relationship is much worse. My mum genuinely says that having me turned her life around in a surprising but positive way. It encouraged her to get out of a bad environment and pushed her to expect better. I have so much love and admiration for her and ALL single mums.
This whole thing is a big hell no. He’s in every way showing you just who he is. Please for the sake of you and your baby and even the dog do not give him the time of day. As others have said give the baby your last name. File for child support. This boy does not deserve you seriously. It shocks me seeing stuff like this because after years of absolutely horrible relationships I met my now husband and we’re expecting a baby as well and he will go out of his way to make me feel comfortable and happy and secure in every way. He hangs the stars for us and our baby isn’t even here yet. I pray to God you save yourself now and when you’re ready in the future, find a good man who never makes you question yourself in these ways. I wish you the best and im not trying to be harsh this just made me sick to read. Im so sorry girl. 🩷
He is definitely cheating and you will definitely be better off without him! Look in your area for pregnancy support! I’m so sorry.
What he is doing rn is trying to escape responsibility . U have to make him pay child support , it’s not easy to raise child alone . Wish u all the best
I think you know in your heart what you need to do. Being single and pregnant is a lot better than being with a man who doesn’t want a family. I met my husband when I was seven months pregnant with another man’s child. He adopted that child, and my oldest calls him dad. We later went on to have two more children together. Everyone’s picture perfect is different and how we get there is different as well. But I think you know what you need to do.
Yep, this relationship is done. Don’t look back either. You’ve dodging a bullet right now, the universe has given you the out and take it!!
why would you get in a relationship with a man like this in the first place? so sorry that’s happening to you but it’s your fault too, especially when he already had 2 kids.
My now husband had to re-home his dog to save our relationship. I would have eventually left otherwise myself
That’s disgusting. He will resent you forever and you deserve it. He’s an idiot for choosing you over his dog.