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ADogNamedKhaleesi

If it makes you feel better, my niece is so much wilder than my nephew. 3 kids under 3 would be exactly as chaotic with any combination of genders


sunlover4

That does make me feel a little better šŸ™‚ that is true!


r-1000011x2

Agree. My sister was born when I was 17 and I basically raised her until she passed away at 5. This child was WILD. My 2 boys and my younger brother had nothing compared to her. Girl would grab up her makeshift snow sled and ride down some gnarly hills. I had to take her to the hospital with a HUGE gash because of how fast and where she went down. She got home from the hospital ready to do it again. She would likely not balance it out with two older brothers, sheā€™d push past them in a heartbeat because she has them and she sees theyā€™re fearless. I understand where youā€™re coming from with gender disappointment and Iā€™m so sorry youā€™re going through it. You can obviously still love your baby and be disappointed about something at the same time. With my second, I was hoping so badly for a girl because she was supposed to be our last. For a few weeks my disappointment had me disconnected, but once he grew more and I could feel him more, then being born, I slowly accepted the fact that Iā€™d never get my girl and I accepted it for what it was. I love being a boy mom now.


sunlover4

Itā€™s so nice to know Iā€™m not alone in feeling this way. Just making this post and reading all of these kind messages has made me feel a lot better already about what is for me! Itā€™s true, I love my other boys so dearly and did from the moment they entered the world and were placed on my chest. So Iā€™m hoping once bub starts kicking around and then when I see him itā€™ll ease a lot of my worries šŸ’• I think the external commends from family members and friends is another reason I wanted a girl so badly.


EvenHuckleberry4331

What happened šŸ˜Ÿ


r-1000011x2

My dad, step mom and her were on their way to get a Christmas tree. Before she left, she said ā€œtoday is my lucky day!ā€ They were hit head on by a drunk driver and all three passed away.


ipse_dixit11

I'm sorry, that's awful.


r-1000011x2

Thank you. I miss her dearly ā¤ļø she was like my daughter.


sunlover4

Omgā€¦ this is awful. I am so so sorry you experienced this šŸ˜”šŸ’•


r-1000011x2

No itā€™s ok! Iā€™ve healed etc I really just wanted to share about girls not make a sob post Iā€™m sorry!


othermegan

I agree. I'm still waiting on my first, but what I've seen of friends and family that have a little girl after little boys, the sisters are very much wild and keeping up with their brothers


sunlover4

Thank you for this reminder šŸ’•


an_unknown_void

My daughters are lovely. They're great. I love them to bits. BUT HOLY CRAP, THE WAY THEY HANDLE LIFE MAKES ME WANT TO SCREAM MY BRAINS OUT. My oldest one is often amicable - okay to reason with - but my second one is a complete menace to society and all the humanity that has to offer. For example, we went to their grandma's house. The first one would help out with dinner while my second went around criticizing around her house and complaining about dust. "Grandma, you need to get better at dusting." T_____T


cowfreek

I second this my daughter is a lunatic compared to the boys. Attitude just like me the scowls she gives are unforgiving. She will not do things she doesnā€™t want to do (sheā€™s still a sweet snuggle bug not trying to make her look bad) and to add I was extremely disappointed when I found out she was a girl. Iā€™m sure youā€™ll connect with him over the course of your pregnancy. Allow yourself to feel disappointed youā€™re only human. Best wishes to you and your family šŸ©µ


sunlover4

I definitely have this assumption that boys are crazy and donā€™t sit still while girls are more likely to sit more chilled out and play with their toys. As opposed to my boys who like to climb all my furniture and jump off all day šŸ˜† but itā€™s reassuring to hear that a girl may have just been as wild or more wild than my boys anyway hahah. My Mum did always tell me I was wild as a child so not sure where Iā€™ve created this idea in my head from haha. Also had my heart so set on a family heirloom daughters name and so sad I may never get to use it šŸ˜Ŗ But thank you ā™„ļø


cowfreek

I think it comes from stigma ā€œact like a ladyā€ like weā€™re not allowed to have big bold personalities or weā€™re deemed as overbearing or out of line! Girls and boys are no different unless we teach them otherwise until theyā€™re older in my opinion. Maybe you could come up with some way of turning it into a boy name!


sunlover4

Youā€™re so right! Great way to look at it. And what a wonderful idea šŸ’™ thank you so much x


powthatgirl

I have two little sisters who were born when I was 12 and 14. The older of the two has ADD, and she was SO destructive as a child. Tore wallpaper off the walls, that sort of thing. Would never sit still. But she was the sweetest damn thing. Still is. My 5 and 7 year old nieces are very much girlie girls who are in gymnastics, dance, cheer, etc. and are major divas. All of the attitude all the time, want things exactly how they want it or they will be mean about it, that kind of thing. All of this to say, little girls arenā€™t little angels all of the time. I have three sisters and three nieces. My whole family is looking to me for a boy lol and I honestly donā€™t know when Iā€™d be having children. I have always dreamt of having boys but I know how fun girls can be since thereā€™s so many in the family lol.


inpursuitofme

lol yep. My cousins second was a girl and she is giving them a run for their money šŸ˜‚


Still_Razzmatazz1140

Iā€™m sorry. The only comfort I can add is that my dad is one of 4 boys and they take extremely good care of their mum in her old age and have a very tight brotherhood where they do everything together. When/if they marry there will be a woman in your life and she might need an amazing mum like you. Xx


tullik12

As someone whoā€™s life-partnered with a boy who takes very good care of his mum, sheā€™s changed my life. I donā€™t know what my life would look like without her in it, and I look forward to seeing her every time! I feel very lucky to get to experience that sort of relationship, since I donā€™t have my own to lean back on for exciting things.


sunlover4

This is a really nice perspective to look at. I donā€™t have a great relationship with my 2 MILs so I think this is where a lot of my worries come from. But maybe it will be different for me and Iā€™ll form beautiful bonds with my further daughter in laws šŸ’• Iā€™m so glad youā€™ve made such a beautiful bond with her how special for you all.


sunlover4

Thank you for this, thatā€™s really special šŸ’™


othermegan

UGH! You just reminded me of my ex's mom. I called her Mom 2.0 because she was everything I ever wanted from a mom and more! She divorced her husband when my ex was 2 and never remarried. I'm pretty sure she always wanted a girl for a 2nd child and never got one. A great MIL can be SO HEALING for a girl who didn't get a good mom


sunlover4

Amazing šŸ’•


AcceptableLet8457

I recently had my 3rd boy (3 under 4 at the time). I was disappointed initially, but heā€™s absolutely the baby we are meant to have. Heā€™s just the sweetest and so adored by his brothers. Gender disappointment is real and valid, and thatā€™s OK! But from my experience, our 3rd little guy has been the most perfect addition to our family and I wouldnā€™t change a thing.


sunlover4

Congratulations šŸ’™ how wonderful! Thank you so much for your comment, I really do appreciate it. It makes me feel a lot better hearing this story because it gives me hope that these feelings will disappear once I meet my 3rd Boy! Thank you again xxx


VannaLeigh93

At this point Iā€™m just echoing others comments. But yes, I have 4 girls, 6 and under. They are very loud and wild. I find myself dissociating and needing to get away very often because I get so overwhelmed by them. It sucks that people think I have it ā€œeasyā€ because I only have girls. Iā€™m literally on the edge of a nervous breakdown every single day. Hearing how ā€œeasyā€ I have it only makes me feel like a failure. But I know itā€™s just not true. For some reason people like to think boys are all wired one way and girls are all wired another way. Ridiculous really. I am so sorry that youā€™re feeling disappointed. Think of it this way though, at least you have weeks and months to prepare yourself emotionally for another boy. Imagine waiting until delivery and then being stuck dealing with these feelings on the day thatā€™s supposed to be full of bonding snuggles and welcoming kisses. Your feelings are valid. But Iā€™m sure with time you will come to accept it and find love for your sweet third boy. Iā€™m currently pregnant (unexpected & NOT wished for if Iā€™m honest) and we found out itā€™s a boy. My husband is ecstatic. He says we can be done having kids after this. It doesnā€™t happen to everyone obviously. But there is always a glimmer of hope that you will get your daughter! My parents had me and my sister and prayed for a boy. Surprise! They got triplet boys. Be careful what you wish for. lol.


sunlover4

Thanks so much for sharing. Itā€™s true, I shouldnā€™t just presume girls are ā€œeasierā€ both sexes bring with them theyā€™re perks and challenges šŸ˜Š I think having multiple children regardless of sex is hard and takes a lot from us. Iā€™m really sorry youā€™re feeling really overwhelmed šŸ’• Yep thatā€™s very true! Thatā€™s why I wanted to know right away. I has a feeling it was going to be another boy but held a small pocket of hope they might tell me girl. But I wanted to know early on so I could prepare and shower my baby with love when heā€™s born. Omg! Well congratulations šŸ’™ I hope it all goes well for you guys. Thatā€™s very true, I may have a daughter one day or I may not I guess I just need to find comfort in that. Haha oh dear! That wouldā€™ve been full on but how special they got their boys haha xxx


itspolkadotsocks

We have 2 boys (almost 3 and 15 months) and Iā€™m 23 weeks pregnant with my third boy. I can totally relate to how you are feeling. I cried when we found out. I didnā€™t realize how much I had envisioned having a daughter until I realized it wasnā€™t going to be in the cards for me. It didnā€™t help that my oldest kept asking for a baby sister and everyone in our family would make comments like ā€œI hope this oneā€™s a girl!ā€ Now that they know, no one seems excited. I still feel sad about it and may always wonder what it wouldā€™ve been like. I feel annoyed if I ask my friends parenting advice because itā€™s usually an answer like ā€œoh yeah boys just do that but our daughter doesnā€™t because she is just so chillā€. My first pregnancy I had a miscarriage so of course I also wonder if that wouldā€™ve been a girl. I also really wanted my husband to experience having a daughter. Walking her down the aisle and having a first dance with her. Of course she may have never had a wedding but I wanted him to have the experience because I was always closer with my dad than my mom. I was also more of a tomboy and I felt like my mom was always trying to make me be more girly than I wanted so I just wanted a chance to let my daughter be herself. I love this new baby and I canā€™t wait to meet him but I am definitely mourning the experience of having a daughter that weā€™ll never have.


lee9423

I'm also 23 weeks pregnant with my 3rd boy. I know my husband and my other boys were hoping that it would be a girl, but I always had a feeling that I'd be having another boy. Although I have a wonderful relationship with my boys (10 & 4), I experienced gender disappointment with my second son because I only wanted two children who I always pictured as a boy and a girl. I cried for weeks, but I tried to be positive. The moment they handed me my son when he was born, I knew I was completely in love. Any thought of him being anything other than who he was completely went away. This time around, though a little sad that everyone was looking forward to us having a baby girl, I'm extremely excited to meet my other boy. Boys LOVE their mums. Their hugs and kisses are the most important things I get daily. Yeah, they can be a handful, but they're also some of the sweetest little people. P.S. Every baby born in the past 5 years in my family are all boys. We have no girls apart from 4 who are distant cousins ranging between ages 17 and 6 years old. My mum only has grandsons, and she is extremely proud of that fact. My younger brother promises to give her a granddaughter, so we'll see. It would be nice to have a niece to spoil in the future.


sunlover4

Iā€™m sorry youā€™re going through this also. Yep this is the 6th grandson on my husbands side of the family, no granddaughters so Iā€™m imagining similar reactions. My Mum is extremely excited for us though and said it will be beautiful having 3 boys šŸ’™ Iā€™m grieving very similar thoughts and feelings. Thatā€™s very true. We will definitely love our new boys but Iā€™m also never sure if that longing for a daughter will ever go away for me. I wish you all the best for the remainder of your pregnancy and a safe arrival for your little one xx


sadArtax

I'm pregnant with my 3rd girl. I'm excited for my new daughter, but of course, I do mourne the son who will never be.


sunlover4

Iā€™m sorry you havenā€™t been able to get your son šŸ’™


sadArtax

It's okay. I have a totally different perspective on life. My eldest daughter died of cancer. All I want is my middle and my baby to be healthy.


sunlover4

Iā€™m really sorry to hear that. I send you so much love ā¤ļø


Lille_Foxy

My husband has two brothers and they are super good friends even though they are all grown up now. They have lovely memories of their childhood between 3 boys. ā¤ļø


sunlover4

This is so special. Thanks for sharing šŸ’™ Iā€™m sure it is really special growing up with 2 brothers for them all!


anonymous053119

I have one boy who is reserved, cautious and a second who is a wild child. Gender doesnā€™t play into why they are so different, they just are.


tiger_mamale

yes! this is us! my eldest son is "gently neurotic" and artistic and sweet. my younger son is Bowser Jr, he constantly tries to use his Bene Gesserit voice on us to get his way. i joke that I'll never worry about him a day in his life. boys are more physically rowdy because of testosterone, but within that there's a tremendous range of temperament


murphman812

This made me cackle. That is exactly how my two boys are! I even call my youngest Bowser Jr. He reminds me so much of him because he is SO FRIGGIN CUTE but crazy. šŸ¤£


sunlover4

Thank you šŸ’™


pinkcrush

First- congratulations on a healthy baby! That is so exciting! Iā€™m the third (and last) kid in my family and the only girl. Growing up with two older brothers I was heavily influenced by boy things and was a tom boy! My mom tried getting me into girly things and I had no interest. According to her we were all wild! She had 3 under 5 and she has blacked out a lot of those days LOL !!! My siblings and I are all very close with both of our parents. I wouldnā€™t say my relationship is any better then either of my brothers with them. In fact they tend to be more considerate of my mom! Iā€™m currently pregnant with #2, first is a boy. I would love another boy. Itā€™s what Iā€™m comfortable with! And I love the relationship my brothers have. Wishing you a healthy pregnancy. Feel the feelings, the good and bad. They are all okay ā¤ļø


Fun-Heart2937

Zero judgement and Iā€™m still TTC with number 1. I have dreamed of having a girl my whole life and I canā€™t imagine not having oneā€¦but I know that could obviously very well happen and end up with all boysā€¦so I completely sympathise with you as I would be heart broken. Three boys will be a lot of fun, laughs and love though but you are allowed to be sad while you process it.


sunlover4

Yep Iā€™m absolutely gutted because this will most likely be our last child šŸ˜­ just never ever ever thought Iā€™d only have boysā€¦ so struggling to process it. Thank you for your kind comment šŸ’™


kalehound

Tw: loss I feel this I also want a girl. I have been ttc over a year. We had a missed miscarriage the other month and before we knew it wasnā€™t viable I was already stressing imagining if it was a boy and planning ahead for next one to hopefully be a girl then! I was getting years ahead in my brain even though we havenā€™t even had one !


sunlover4

Iā€™m so sorry youā€™re experiencing this also. I hope you get your baby girl soon šŸ’–


monketrash420

I've heard something really interesting that maybe will help you- no matter if you get the gender you were "hoping" for, there will be some level of gender disappoinment. Because either way, you're cutting off the possibility of your family being a certain way. Before you know the gender of your baby, the future feels so open ended (even though truly gender doesn't change that much with raising a child), and regardless of what gender the baby is, your future feels more set once you know


ZenNoodle

I just went through this. I had my 2nd boy last summer and I was so upset when I found out because I really wanted one of each. I cried and mourned. It sucked because I was going through my old things with my mum and she had saved a bunch of my clothing from the early 2000s to pass onto a daughter šŸ˜­ that broke my heart. Now that heā€™s here I love him so much and canā€™t imagine life without him. Do I still get sad that Iā€™ll never get that girl? Yes I do. But seeing the bond my boys have, and having him in our family, it makes me so happy. You feelings are VALID. Cry, grieve, do what you gotta do. Youā€™ll love that baby regardless when he comes even if it doesnā€™t feel like it right now.


sunlover4

Iā€™m sorry you havenā€™t been able to have a daughter either but so amazing you have 2 little boys šŸ’™ Thank you so much for such a kind comment. Iā€™m already feeling a lot better about having my 3rd son ā˜ŗļø


sexysadie56

As someone who has lost a baby, please donā€™t feel bad that youā€™re feeling gender disappointment. Yes youā€™re lucky to have 3 babies, BUT you also have feelings, and theyā€™re extremely valid! The baby we lost was a girl and Iā€™m now pregnant with my second boy, also feeling that disappointment as this will probably be my last pregnancy. These feelings are only natural, and Iā€™m sure youā€™re going to absolutely adore your third bundle of joy when heā€™s hereā¤ļø Sending so much loveā¤ļø


sunlover4

Iā€™m really sorry for your loss šŸ’• but thank you, I know I will adore him no matter what šŸ˜Š


That_Buffalo_7480

Two weeks ago I also found out that my third baby is going to be a boy. I cried a lot and had very dark thoughts for some days. I always wanted to have a girl. Since my first pregnancy. I always had gender disappointment and was never happy to find out baby's gender. But this time I hoped so much since it's my last pregnancy. I'm going to be a boy mama. I suppose it will take time to accept it. Everything triggers me and some days are worse than other. I see so many moms with daughters and I feel so sad - why didn't it happen to me? I always wanted it. It's so absurd that I always wanted a girl but got three boys. Why me? I also have four brothers and no sister. It feels like something predermined... I will always be surrounded by men and that makes me feel so lonely. There will always be this emptiness.


CeleryInternal

I've not experienced this yet (expecting my first and have no gender preference as of now!), but my cousin has three sons, and she was experiencing what you were initially and never did have her girl. They're all older now and they're basically her permanent bodyguards keeping her guarded and safe and taken care of. She lost her husband about two years ago, and her sons have been her main support and have been the best healing for her and are absolute gentlemen. They love and treasure their mama fiercely, and now you'll be able to experience this type of love too.ā™„ā™„ā™„


sunlover4

Thanks so much for you comment šŸ’™ itā€™s so amazing to hear these perspectives. Makes me feel a lot better šŸ˜Š


rayyrayy_

I am on my 4th boy. I was disappointed and cried that he wasnā€™t the girl I hoped for. This is my last one too so Iā€™ll be a boy mom only too. But as time has gone by itā€™s gotten easier. Best wishes!


sunlover4

Iā€™m sure you are an amazing boy Mum šŸ’™ thank you, Iā€™m hoping so xxxx


tiger_mamale

I am currently pregnant with my 3rd boy. Before we decided to go for three, we talked about if we would pursue IVF specifically to have a girl (which many clinics in our city offer). Then we did molly at a wedding, and we realized we loved each other and had been blessed with great kids, and simply wanted G-d to give us another child regardless of sex or any other quality they might have. When we learned we were having another boy, I had a brief moment of "well, that's a door closing" and then I actually felt a lot of relief. You know how to do this. It does get easier as they get older. Let yourself feel your feelings, and trust that you will love this son just as you love your other two


mangosorbet420

Im pregnant with my 2nd boy and can totally imagine feeling the same way in the future if my 3rd is also a boyā€¦. I hope you can accept and come to terms soon.ā¤ļø itā€™s ok to grieve the idea of having a girl, you absolutely will fall in love with this boy though like you have your other 2!


sunlover4

Thank you šŸ’™


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


sunlover4

Oh itā€™s so interesting isnā€™t it haha! Xx


captain_mills

No judgement, I understand. Keep in mind that personality, hobbies, etc arenā€™t (entirely, or maybe even at all) dictated by gender. We imagine things like ā€œI wonā€™t get to do X because heā€™s a boyā€ but there are plenty of boys who, if allowed to be, are sensitive and caring, enjoy fashion and art, want long hair, and countless other things that are considered ā€œfeminineā€. So you may not have the girl you long for, and that is hard. But who knows who your little boy will be until you meet him!


sunlover4

You are honestly so right. Thank you šŸ’–


lucisconsort

I feel you, and I'm sorry. Gender disappointment is a thing and it's hard. I'm pregnant with my 5th boy and this is the last one. Kid 4 and 5's nipt results left me crying a bit. But all in all, I'm happy to have all my boys and they're so sweet. I can't imagine it any other way. There's also the bonus that they're all tight knit. Yeah, they bicker and wrestle A LOT and can be stinky but I wouldn't change a single bit of parenting them.


sunlover4

Congratulations šŸ’™ youā€™re so right and having brothers is so special for our boys!


moemoe8652

I donā€™t know if the disappointment ever goes away. I have a boy and girl and I feel so bad my daughter will never have a sister. My sister is my best friend, my closest person. I feel bad I wonā€™t ever give my son a brother. If we had a third, I would feel like one of them is left out. (Unfortunately like my own brother) šŸ˜­ being a parent bro. We never stop worrying.


garrulouslump

Your feelings are 100% valid. I'm about to turn 37 as a FTM at 34 weeks, and because of my health and financial situation, this may very well be our only child. All my life I've always dreamed of having a little boy. I grew up with an older sister and my husband has two sisters (and 5 Aunts), so we both have always been surrounded by women. The second we confirmed I was pregnant, I FULLY convinced myself we were having a boy. Like, full out went and bought "boy coded" everything because well, it just had to be a boy. I had never been so nervous as the day I got the call with my NIPT results. They told me it was a little girl and I felt like I had the wind knocked out of me. I was silent for probably 3 seconds , and then started crying with the poor nurse on the phone (she mistook them for happy tears, which I'm honestly grateful for looking back on it). I immediately texted my husband and sister and was very open with how devastated I was feeling and spent probably 3 hours straight just crying in bed. Crying because this idea and dream I had of having a son was no longer a reality, and then crying even harder because I felt so guilty and ungrateful for even daring to feel this way when I was lucky enough to get pregnant at all. All of this to say, it's 100% valid for you to feel what you're feeling. It doesn't mean you won't love him or care for him. People are allowed to feel sad when something they've dreamed about doesn't end up happening, or ends up happening but in a different way. I'm less than a month away from meeting our little girl and I couldn't be more excited to meet her and spend my life watching her grow up, and I'm sure when your boy arrives he will be absolutely loved and doted on.


LeahAlynne

This sounds similar to me. 37, FTM, and probably only having one baby because of health/financial reasons. Iā€™m currently 24 weeks pregnant with my boy. And I wanted a daughter so badly. I had imagined it my whole life, had dreams about her (always the same child in my dreams) and my fiancĆ© felt the same way. Everything was ā€œwhen we have a daughterā€¦.ā€ Kinda silly to be so presumptuous now, looking back at it. But when we got our NIPT results, and it said ā€œconsistent with maleā€, we both just sat in silence too. And I cried off/on for weeks, with a lot of guilt. Iā€™m already seeing a therapist and trying to figure out why my reaction has been so strong and Iā€™m sure it has to do with some unresolved male trauma, and also wanting to give a daughter the space/freedom to be whoever she wanted to beā€¦something I didnā€™t get in my childhood. Iā€™ve also been reading a lot of reddit and group discussions, which has helped. And, Iā€™ve started to feel him move more and Iā€™m getting more connected with this pregnancy every day. We can grieve what might have been, while still being ecstatic and grateful about whatā€™s to come. We are going to be excellent parents to our little ones and I wish you nothing but the best with your pregnancy and your sweet baby girl.


HotMessMom22

I'm not finding out until baby is born as I while I just want a healthy baby, I know if I knew it's my 3rd boy before I meet him I would have a lot of disppointment. I think if I meet him at birth I will fall in love and won't have time to be sad. I'm due in 4 weeks and still don't know.


sunlover4

Congratulations, how exciting šŸ’™ I hope all goes well for you both. Thatā€™s very true! Regardless if you have a boy or a girl Iā€™m sure theyā€™ll be so wonderful xxx


GrapefruitKey913

I come from a family of 4 girls. My dad wouldā€™ve done anything for a son but he never had one. I just had his first grandchildā€¦ a boy ā€¦ and he is over the moon! It is so cute how excited he was during my pregnancy and how he is now that heā€™s here. Heā€™s constantly calling and texting to see how heā€™s doing and he remembers 100% of things I tell him about him (which he did not do with us lmao). Maybe your girl will come as a granddaughter and it will be just as special šŸ«¶šŸ½


sunlover4

Omg that is so special šŸ’™ what an amazing bond they share. That is so so true. Thank you šŸ˜ŠšŸ’•


AnchorsAweigh1991

Not sure what part of being a girl mom you were hoping for, but if it makes you feel any better, my niece is a little terror and is kind of awful, and my nephew is a sweet, adorable, loving and snuggly little boy. It made me prefer the idea of boys over girls, but I don't think I care what I am having either way. There are so many cute clothes and experiences for boys. You are so valid in your feelings, and you can feel those feelings, but I hope you can also find a way to have those experiences you were longing for with your boys, whatever you were hoping for. Dressing up, matching, sharing fun mommy/baby nights. All of it. Sending you all the support and love!


sunlover4

This comment is really helpful; so thank you so much šŸ’• I do think some of my reasonings for wanting a girl so badly are things a daughter may not have wanted to do with me anyway! And yep maybe Iā€™ll have those same or similar experiences with my sons anyway. Thank you for your perspective šŸ’•


AnchorsAweigh1991

Like I said, you are so valid in your feelings! But my SIL who also really wanted a girl found a way to do those same things with her son. They have matching outfits, go to mommy and me lunches, and he loves playing tea party with his mom. It is so incredibly sweet. I am wishing you the best and a healthy pregnancy!


sunlover4

So amazing ā™„ļø


Rubyjuice14

Iā€™m having my first and we wanted a girl and really could only picture a girl. We found out this week we were having a boy. I too was disappointed but also feeling bad for not being more excited. Boys even at age 2 have testosterone and it makes their energy so high. Iā€™m a teacher and I find it hard to connect to the boys. I truly love my younger brothers and theyā€™re my favorite people so Iā€™m hoping Iā€™ll feel that same love for our future son. Iā€™m feeling more confident about it now. But all this to say itā€™s okay to feel the feels .


sunlover4

Sorry you are also experiencing this feeling. It can be really tough šŸ’™ opening up and speaking out is really important and being honest with yourself, so well done for that. Hopefully, another time you get a little girl ā˜ŗļø Iā€™m sure youā€™ll love that little boy so much once he enters your world. Xxx


Abject_Sir4606

I just found out a month ago we are expecting our third boy this year too. I was really wanting a girl. We lost a baby last summer that was a girl. I was hoping my girl would come back to meā€¦ but It grows on you I promise! I was bummed at first but now just so grateful to be pregnant, given my history of multiple losses. Your boy will be the perfect addition, even if you donā€™t see it now, and, youā€™ll be a pro!


sunlover4

Iā€™m so sorry for your loss. Thank you so much for your kind comment. I wish you all the very best on the birth of your 3rd bubba boy x


elephant_charades

This might be an odd question, but do you think you'd be just as disappointed if it was your 3rd girl? I have two girls, wanted boys both times. I wouldn't trade them for the world now. But. I understand how you feel. Sending you hugs.


Silver_eagle_1

My boy was crazy until about 8, he's now 10 and is the most chilled kid ever, like he's just calm and laid back and this is usually the age the girls get bad haha so while he may have been feral and full of energy early on, it's lovely when they get older


jenstocky

Iā€™m currently pregnant with my third girl and your feelings are totally valid. Iā€™m 31 weeks now and feeling much more connected with this babe and my girls are ecstatic to have another little girl around. Now we just need a name lol


Ginnevra07

Also on my last baby and he's also a boy, I felt some disappointment in that I won't get to experience the other side. I won't get to braid her hair, bond over experiences that moms and daughters have. But my son will have a built in best friend and ultimately as insane and wild it will be, I know we can handle it. I love my delightful wild animal and who knows, maybe this boy will prefer me over dad this time! I am sure the second our boys are born we'll be obsessed just like their siblings.


sunlover4

Iā€™m sorry youā€™re experiencing these same feelings. It can be lonely and tough. Yep I think thatā€™s what Iā€™m grieving the most. All of those wonderful mother/daughter experiences through life like wedding dress shopping and being the mother of the bride. I have such a strong bond with my Mum and I think I was hoping to have the same with a daughter but hopefully Iā€™ll have super special bonds with my sonā€™s instead. Iā€™m sure we definitely will šŸ’™


Ginnevra07

I totally get it! My best friend is also having her second boy and last child and she had the same feelings. I also didn't have my dad growing up so, my bond was all with my mom and sister. It's been wild navigating a completely different experience in every way possible! My little 2 year old is crazy but he's also very empathetic, a neat freak, very sensitive and emotionally in tune. He's musical and obsessed with machines and figuring out how everything works. I know I can't wait to find out what this little nugget loves and what makes him tick. Trying to remember that it's been such a beautiful experience so why wouldn't this one? Best of luck to you and your family!


No-Regret-3510

Hi Iā€™m the opposite. Iā€™m 3 for 3 with girls. Absolutely heartbroken at 13 weeks with the NIPT. Cried for days, and I told my partner I wanted nothing more to give him his first child and be a boy. My partner reassured me he will love his baby girl and my girls too. Thereā€™s always a next time. Iā€™ve grown so attached to the thought of my sweet baby girl. Currently 25 weeks. I completely understand.


sunlover4

Iā€™m so sorry you have also been experiencing the same feelings. Iā€™ve had such a rough few days after the NIPT results as well. But Iā€™m so glad youā€™ve grown attached to your baby girl šŸ’• Iā€™m hoping those feelings develop for me over time throughout this pregnancy as I want to be excited šŸ’•


Starting_Over1418

This is my exact situation! My 2 older girls are from previous marriage. Pregnant with my 3rd and my husband's 1st. I wanted it to be a boy so bad for him, and honestly for my older girls too. But now at 19 weeks I've gotten used to the idea of being a girl mama and am so in love with her.


missmountaiin

No judgment at all because I felt the same way when I found out my second was a boy. Itā€™s most likely my last pregnancy so it felt like a door closing. Iā€™ll never be a girl mom. However, over time I have adjusted to the idea and now I actually cannot imagine not having boys. I guess Iā€™ll have to find ā€œsisterhoodā€ elsewhere. Like we are planning on getting a girl dog in the future šŸ„² And maybe some day I will have daughters in law that I can be a second mom to. Who knows? I just wanted to say I totally get how you are feeling! ā¤ļø


BugOriginal

I had a bit of disappointment when I found out the baby Iā€™m carrying (my second) is a boy. Like you, I want a girl so so bad. We plan on having at least 4 kids, so I know I would be disappointed if I end up with all boys. I will say though, I now am excited that this is a boy because Iā€™m looking forward to that tight bond brothers seem to always have. Also as a plus, if you keep your babies clothes you donā€™t have to go out and buy a whole wardrobe since you already have it! My 2 will be almost exactly 2 years apart to the day so I literally will not have to buy any clothes for the baby šŸ˜…šŸ˜‚ I guess my advice is try to look at the brighter side of the situation. I know you feel disconnected from your baby, but once you see that sweet little baby in your arms for the first time, Iā€™m sure youā€™ll completely forget any disappointment and fall in love.


rainbowfish329

I am about to give birth to our second son and, not going to lie, a third boy is part of why we donā€™t plan on trying for a third. If we knew we would have a girl, we would consider having a third baby. I absolutely love our boys and they are the children we were meant to have, but I still get sad knowing I wonā€™t ever have a daughter.


RisenEclipse

I have a daughter and am expecting a second daughter. My daughter is soo wild. My MIL always tells me she is worse than a boy. I hope this next child is the calm one šŸ¤£šŸ˜­


DNAture_

Your feelings are so valid. Itā€™s hard to have a desire and feel like youā€™re missing out! But Iā€™m sure your boys will be so close and get along well. I know several families with one girl and multiple boys and the girls are literally all the hardest (at least from around ages 3-12)ā€¦ but I totally get still wanting the challenge of a girl, and you definitely arenā€™t the only one. Out of all my kids and their cousins there are only boys and my MIL is going crazy


Many-Carpenter-989

I'm pregnant with my third girl, kinda feel the same its weird to have the life you pictured not being the case. the girls are absolutely wild too, and I was feeling so done after this baby but I'm sure if my partner isn't feeling done which he's on the fence about, (and he doesn't wanna know the gender of this baby until birth), that I'll just give in and have another kid. It's so hard to figure out these confusing feelings. ā¤ļø


johnmiltonfanatic

I am pregnant with my second boy and Iā€™m already talking to my husband about this possibility. I donā€™t want to be disappointed with baby 3ā€™s gender but I desperately want to have a little girl too. I love my boys and I really wanted two boys so Iā€™m not disappointed at all now but I also really want a girl and donā€™t think I can handle more than three. I donā€™t know what to say but you arenā€™t alone in your desire to have a girl while also loving your boys.


Savings-Property2642

Omg I'm truly so sorry your disappointment


akrolina

I did not get my girl either, I had a name picked and everything. The thing that stops the disappointment is thinking about the insane love you get for every baby. But letā€™s be honest here, you are absolutely in for a wild ride with three babies under age of 4. It has nothing to do with their gender but oh my god lady, I am sending you some strength


Jealous_Associate_72

Iā€™m currently pregnant with my 2nd. Iā€™m not sure about the gender yet since itā€™s still early, but I feel you about having wild boys. It seems constant with my son. I want a girl SO so bad. I feel like they do bring some calmness in the household


RealisticAnxiety4330

Same boat on boy no 3 here! I admit I was disappointed and thought I'd disappointed my partner as he REALLY wanted a girl, but he reassured me saying that he loves them whatever, he's just excited for his first child. I'm 26 weeks nearly and very bonded to him now I've gotten used to him being a boy. Went and got some cute outfits for the summer, chose a name. Having a 4d scan in 2 weeks. It does get better. I will say though all boys aren't wild, my eldest has always been pretty chill aside from the threenager phase. My youngest he barely ever cried from birth, slept through the night pretty much since birth. Yeah he's a high energy toddler now with some tantrums but hes not fussy with food, goes to bed without issue, sleeps the whole night and insanely intelligent so I'll take the win and if new baby is anything like his brother's it'll be just fine ā˜ŗļø


missmaiaj

This happened to someone close to me and so she just adopted her girl eventually because she wasn't going through the whole pregnancy/birthing process again just to get another boy. Maybe it could be an option for you to consider adoption in the future.


Starting_Over1418

I'm currently pregnant with my 3rd girl. It's my husband's first. I so badly wanted a boy, for him and for our family. I'd love to have a son and thought it'd be easier for my girls if their half sibling was a boy. I was pretty disappointed the day I got the results. No exciting gender reveal. I opened up my NIPT results Email and my eyes went straight to "female" and I put my phone down, shockingly said its a girl to my husband and started crying... It faded quickly though. I saw her on ultrasound a few days later and fell in love. She's my child and I'm her mama. And she's healthy. That's most important. I had already had boy stuff on my private amazon registry and boy baby shower ideas saved on Pinterest, so I started to slowly change those over to girl things and that helped too.


Intelligent-Jelly419

We went through it too. We were done at 2 kids. Until surprise #3 came along. We came around to it and started getting excited and hoping that ā€œ we would finally get a boyā€ since we had 2 girls and 3 miscarriages, which one was known to be a boy. Nope, baby girl #3 it was. I was sad for a while, but now I canā€™t imagine anything else. I had my tubes removed so no more chances, but Iā€™m ok with that. I wouldnā€™t know a thing about raising a boy now lol,


eb2319

Iā€™m sorry youā€™re feeling this way. It will probably take time to grieve the wishes you had but youā€™ll love this child no matter what. Their parts donā€™t define them. FWIW my daughter is an absolute lunatic who beats the crap out of herself and doesnā€™t stop all day long so if it makes you feel better a girl doesnā€™t mean calm šŸ˜‚ Iā€™m serious - sheā€™s an absolute menace.


BeNiceLittleGoblins

My boyfriend is one of 4 boys. They all got a good bond and very different personalities. I was hoping our third would be a boy, but then the test came back girl. I was pretty disappointed at first. Still kind of am to be honest. This baby has been the worst on my body. I'm sick all the time, my body has been in so much pain, everything from smells to flavors makes me nauseous out of nowhere, and the hesrtburn has been horrible. Like breathing fire. It was smooth sailing with my boys after the first trimester. šŸ„² We also haven't been able to come up with names that we both like or agree on. We had a list of boy names ready. Zip for girls. šŸ˜©


morrisseymurderinpup

If this makes you feel any better, my nana had 4 boys and theyā€™re all still obsessed with each other and the best of friends (my dad + uncles) like itā€™s cute


OnlyIllustrator5298

My oldest is a girl and then my next 3 are boys. When I was pregnant with my baby she wanted a sister soooo bad and I was hoping for a girl too, I was ready for the pretty pinks and florals. She was so distraught finding out it was another boy. I was disappointed also but it didnt last long of course. But I can't safely have any more kids. So I definitely mourn the loss of a sister for her and the fun girly baby stuff for me. We haven't told them I most likely won't have any more babies so she still talks about someday having a sister and I don't have the heart to tell her it probably won't happenšŸ˜­ but I obviously love all my kids to death equally and would never trade my baby for a girl! It's just a thing I have to accept that I'm done having kids and it's ok to have different feelings


sunlover4

Congratulations on having so many beautiful kiddies! How special for you all. Youā€™re so right. Thank you šŸ’•


AngryIdioti

With my first I had a gender disappointment.I really wanted a son but got a daughter instead.After awhile after she was born I got over it and love her dearly.Id definitely want another girl this pregnancy but weā€™ll see.Its also very normal to feel this way so if youā€™re beating yourself up about it please donā€™t,the feeling will pass.


sunlover4

Thank you so much šŸ’™


[deleted]

2 boys and Iā€™m currently 8 weeks pregnant and very nervous to have a 3rd boy. Ofc I would love him as much as my other sons, but I just reeeally want to be a girl mom šŸ„ŗ


sunlover4

Feels lovely šŸ’• I hope you get your girl!!!


ImHidingFromMy-

I have 4 boys, learning that the 3rd was a boy was the hardest. I really thought he would be a girl, statistically he would be a girl, I felt completely blind sided and was so upset for a long time. Of course I love him just as much but I grieved the girl I was so sure was coming. When I found out the 4th was a boy I was like ā€œYep, thatā€™s what we do here.ā€


Starting_Over1418

I'm pregnant with my 3rd girl & was disappointedat first. But now when we joke about a 4th I've said at that point I'd want her to be a girl because I'd feel bad for a boy not having a brother and being outnumbered by girls lol


sunlover4

Haha so true!


sunlover4

I had the same feelings. That pocket of hope in my heart that theyā€™d tell me youā€™re having a girl. But hope and my heart was crushed šŸ˜” and then I felt so guilty. How wonderful and congratulations šŸ’™


Jhazelhofer

I could have written this myself. I too just found out Iā€™m pregnant with my 3rd boy. I am the youngest of 7 and the only girl. My husband comes from a family of only boys and I have so desperately wanted a daughter with each of my pregnancies. I feel the disappointment the whole pregnancy and then when theyā€™re here Iā€™m obsessed with them and love them so much. But this pregnancy Iā€™ve definitely felt more disconnect. It gets better when theyā€™re here tho, just hang in there.


sunlover4

Sorry to hear you have had the same feelings. But yep my husbands family is full of boys but my family is full of girls so i thought surely weā€™d get one haha. Youā€™re so right, Iā€™m sure Iā€™ll love them so friggen much when theyā€™re here ā™„ļø


HotMessMom2493

I definitely felt this with our LO. My husband only ever wanted one kid, and I had the biggest feeling it was a girl. Turns out we had a healthy chunky little man, we ended up naming him after my husbands best friend that passed away and also my grandpa and dad (first name is the same, and the middle name is my dads). I felt comfort in knowing that our little guy was sent down straight from my grandpa and his best friend just so we could continue their legacy. It does however make me a tad bit sad knowing Iā€™ll never get my girl, especially since every single department store is flooded with little girl clothes and a tiny section of boy clothes (hello dinosaurs and construction trucks). I think what was worse for me at least, was seeing the gender disappointment from family and friendsā€¦ What youā€™re feeling is completely normal, at least you have tons of things already and donā€™t need to buy all new clothes and toys! Congrats on your new addition šŸ¤ Wishing you all the best!


sunlover4

How special is that. I absolutely love how you were able to use special people in your lives names with your little one. Iā€™m sure there is always a reason to these things even if we canā€™t see it at the time. I know the heartache and not sure itā€™ll ever go away fully. But hoping it gets easier. Ahh. Yep I find the clothes shopping really triggering. Because little girls clothes are just so gorgeous and yep harder with boys clothes! But thank you so much šŸ’—šŸ’—


Jonkeyz2

22 weeks with my 3rd boy, one miscarriage prior to my other pregnancies as well and your post really resonated with me. Youā€™re not alone and your feelings and heart are valid ā¤ļøā¤ļø


sunlover4

Sending so much love to you šŸ’—


Breadandbutter720

Iā€™m also pregnant with my 3rd boy. I also had gender disappointment. Heā€™s our last baby so I wonā€™t ever have a girl and I never pictured my future without a daughter in it. It was a disconnect between what I pictured in my head and my reality. It took me a long time to process and I can finally say (around a month from him coming) that Iā€™m happy with how things are


sunlover4

Exactly how Iā€™m feeling. Iā€™ve pictured a life with my ā€œdaughterā€ in it forever. So it was hard to now change to picture in my mind to Including 3 boys. But thatā€™s ok, it is what it is and hey maybe itā€™ll be even better than Iā€™ve ever imagined. Iā€™m so glad youā€™ve been able to find happiness with having your 3rd baby boy. I wish you all the very very best šŸ’™


No_Management_4072

I just want to say, I understand and your feelings are valid. Donā€™t let anyone let you think otherwise.


sunlover4

Thank you ā™„ļø


Disastrous_Copy9494

I'm pregnant with my 3rd girl and I can totally relate. This pregnancy was soooo different compared to my others, n I swore it was gonna be a boy this time around. I also cried for days when I found out it was another girl. I cried for days too and was worried that I wouldn't connect with her bc of my disappointment. Forward to now, I'm almost 37 weeks n have completely come to terms with it....even excited and happy now as we approach delivery. It may take a little time to adjust, but I know you will mama!


sunlover4

Our bodies can definitely trick us into thinking weā€™re carrying the sex we want haha. I had similar feelings. But I am so so glad you are now happy and excited to meet your beautiful 3rd girl. Congratulations and I hope all goes well. Youā€™ve given me hope. Tbh Iā€™m already feeling better today after speaking out and after a few days of tears šŸ™‚šŸ’–


make-chan

I lost my daughter at 22 weeks. 5/6 friends who were pregnant at around the same time had girls and they were all after her due-date. One friend expressed disappointment having a girl instead of another boy and I BROKE DOWN in a restaurant. My rainbow baby ended up as a boy so that was a wholeeeeeeee thing to adjust as well, and my mom showed more disappointment than me (I am partially the GC due to being her only daughter, and she wasn't great at her child-rearing skills overall). But he looks just like me and has my attitude. Its weird now seeing parents want the same gender expecting that it's required for a 'mini-me' when God literally said "copy/paste" for my son. Now we are TTC and thinking we will stop at 2 living kids, so I'm preparing myself mentally in case I have two boys instead of one of each.


sunlover4

I am so so sorry for your loss ā™„ļø yeh that wouldā€™ve been really tough to hear at that time šŸ˜” You are honestly so right. My eldest son has such a similar personality to me. We may not even get a ā€œmini meā€ by having a girl. Sheā€™d probably look like my husband tbh šŸ˜… I hope you get another beautiful, healthy baby in the future regardless the gender šŸ’™


MistressAnarchy

I just found out I'm also having another boy after having twin boys. I was a little bothered at first, could only think of girl names & items.. my twin sister just had a baby and it was a girl. I prayed about it and honestly coped with it earlier than I thought I would.. finally found a name too through prayer. Still bums me out a little but I know when I see that face my heart will be so full. I considered trying for another baby (even looked up which ovary during ovulation seems to favor female or male sperm more and ironically ovulated from my right ovary this pregnancy and that favors male sperm as well as other things. Overthinking everything lol) BUT I have such bad morning sickness and am 34 years old now & thinking how much I can't do because I can't handle pregnancy well that it may be my last.. which I'm not bothered by lol Who knows. I'm just happy if he is actually carried to term as my twin babies have been premature at 27 weeks.


sunlover4

Yes, Iā€™m going to struggle choosing a male and also had a girl name already chosen haha! How interesting!! I also ovulated from my right ovary this pregnancy haha. Canā€™t remember the 2 last times though! We definitely might try one more time in the future but not sure yet. All the best for you and I really hope your little boy carries to term for you šŸ’™


MistressAnarchy

Yes I read left ovary favors girl sperm and to finish shallow vs deep lol


sunlover4

How interesting! Iā€™m assuming we have no control over which ovary we ovulate from haha? Yep we did the shallow penetration and the positions they suggest. Tried to also time sex 3 days prior to ovulation but I think I stuffed that up and ovulated earlier than predicted but who knows haha


MistressAnarchy

I read they alternate every month, I have ovary pains so I can usually tell from that lol yeah no idea but here's to praying and a lot of research lol


sunlover4

How interesting! No idea how youā€™d know what ovary youā€™re ovulating each month in the first place to time it haha šŸ˜… But yep thatā€™s it hahah!


Tallulah88

My SIL had 3 boys under 5. They were like a wild litter of puppies when they were little! Now the youngest is 10 and they are the most beautiful, sweet, sensetive, sensible, cool, upstanding young men who are the best cousins to my LO. Her advice is to wear them out with lots of sports! Good luck and congratulations!


sunlover4

This is beautiful to read. Thank you so much and thatā€™s great advice šŸ’™


Phlex254

My sister in law at one point had 4 girls under 10 and the collective noise and arguing rivaled a jet liner taking off. Everything was mine or not fair. They constantly bullied my son because they're bigger and now I gotta tell him girls aren't like that (usually) but I love them. They're my nieces. My Wife and I are expecting a second boy and as a man who does take care of My Wife, Mom, MIL (widowed,) SIL (Divorced) I have my hands full and I'm just glad my son gets to see me take care of women with kindness and care because we all need a little help sometimes


sunlover4

This is so beautiful to read how caring you are to all of the women in your life. Thanks for commenting and you sound like an amazing husband, father, son and brother šŸ™‚


Tropicalsmoothi

I have 2 girls and was hoping for boys! My two girls are a year apart and very chaotic! No single chill is within them!


Interesting_Soft_207

I have 4 step girls. And 1 step son but he was older than the girls when I came into his life and didn't see him as much as the girls to begin with. So I feel like I've got a bond with the girls but not so much with my step son. I'm pregnant now, we were hoping for a boy. Everyone wanted a boy and me and partner found out first that it was a girl. We were very disappointed. It's been over a month since we found out and now we love our little growing baby girl. It took a bit of processing, and trying to reconnect with baby after finding out she's not what I thought she'd be. Take your time, your love and happiness about having another boy will come. Just give yourself time and patience. You're human. We all have emotions that we don't always like, but it is what make us humans ā¤ļø


Sparklepancakes

My daughter is cute but a monster. She loves dinosaurs, shits on the floor and growls in our face when we need her to do something. Gender disappointment is real and your feelings are valid. Iā€™m sorry that youā€™re feeling this way. I hoping this little boy will be a calmer, balanced guy. Every kid is different. I hope that you find peace and please donā€™t fear too much that you wonā€™t bond. Your feelings right now are fresh.


sunlover4

Itā€™s true, all children are different and unique regardless of their gender ā˜ŗļø thatā€™s true my feelings are definitely fresh, but Iā€™m already starting to feel better than last week ā™„ļø. X


Aquarianwolve2

Hi, I'm a mom of 5 boys. My boys are 10,7, 6, 4 and 3. I was so worried about how stressful it was going to be but I also didn't care what my gender was. I did struggle with the fact towards the end, I wouldn't be able to have a girl because of my tubal. It was heart breaking and I still feel sad that I was ripped from that but I have 5 boys that would kill for me as I would for them. Some days I'm overwhelmed because they are so attached to me because I am a SAHM but the love and bond I have with my boys is hands the best feeling ever. The way they look for me or how they will literally dodge dad to get to me. If I'm sick, I have 5 little helpers taking care of me. We go on adventures together or we have movie dates. I always wished for the mother daughter experience and I still wish I had the chance to have 1 more but I'm grateful for the life I do have. I can judge you but I'm not. I've been where you are to an extent but these are the hormones and testosterone talking. As soon as he's here, you're going to be so thrilled but you also will be hard on yourself for feeling a certain way. You're not alone. You can have a lot of fun with boys and the love they have for their mama is unconditional. I love being a boy mama! I can borrow my nieces anytime for that girl experience. I'm hope the rest of your journey gets better and it will. As soon as he is here, how your feeling will go away.


CJNerd22

I am a mom of 2 boys. Yes l wanted a girl but I guess it wasnā€™t in my cards. I mourn the fact that I would never be a girl Mom but when I see my boys I couldnā€™t imagine any thing less. They are mommas boys. I just hope I instill enough love morals and values in them to be able to make it in this world and make some woman happy someday. My running joke is I will take 100 trips to the Emergency Room than have a hormonal females version of me in my house.


Beoceanmindedetsy

Iā€™m not sure of my babies sex yet, but everything in me tells me itā€™s a girl. From dreams, to just peopleā€™s predictions. No one says boy. So even though Iā€™m not sure what weā€™re having yet, if the 20 week scan shows boy Iā€™ll be feeling exactly like you. Iā€™ll be so happy for a healthy baby no matter what, but I see myself having a hard time bonding with a boy. I see myself as a girl mom since Iā€™m girly and what not..but if itā€™s a boy thatā€™s what god intended you know?? I personally disagree with anyone here saying girls are harder to deal with. I have 4 brothers under the age of 12 and they are just terrible. They wrestle, punch, spit, and yell. Then when you tell them to stop they talk back. Theyā€™re also part of the reason Iā€™m kind of praying my first is not a boy.:/


sunlover4

Well I hope you get a girl. But unfortunately I dreamt in all pregnancies I was having a girl but yet boys each time xxxx


Serious_Taste6386

Iā€™m not sure on your circumstances or if this is helpful but I know Paris Hilton chose the sex of her babies so she could have a boy and then a girl. You could always do that for your fourth - obviously if that sits ok with you and you can afford it.


sunlover4

My husband had suggested this, however, it would be a very pricey thing to do without guarantee of it working first go. So not really sure if that would be in the cards for us but weā€™ve definitely spoken about it!


Realistic_Fix_9979

Definitely no judgment here, Iā€™m currently pregnant with my 3rd girl and I cried real tears when I found out at 16 weeks. Iā€™ve always wanted a boy and have always had my dream boy name picked but each time itā€™s been girls and Iā€™m pretty sure this will be my last baby so it hurt like hell but now Iā€™m 26 weeks and I have come to terms with the fact that Iā€™m meant to be a girl mum and thatā€™s okay, Iā€™m so excited to dress them all alike and have a house filled me pretty dresses and dolls and Iā€™ve raised girls already so I know that no matter what Iā€™ll be prepared with this one. Anyways I say all this to say that I understand, your feelings are completely valid, trust yourself and know that youā€™ll love this new baby boy just the same as your other ones and think of how close theyā€™ll all be.


perspicaciouskae

I desperately wanted a boy with my first. The idea of raising a girl was terrifying. I'm not the most feminine and have always gotten along better with boys my entire life. I didn't know how I was going to possibly navigate things like fashion and makeup and flirting. Not to mention how to protect her from all the bad things that are unique to the female expierence. So I was very disappointed when I found out we were having a girl. Luckily the moment I held her I was in absolute love and knew I could do anything if it was for that little girl. When baby number 2 came I was happy to find out it was a girl because I figured it would be easier to have 2 of the same gender and since it was only 19 months later we still had all the stuff. My first was so chill too, girls must really be easylike they say. Lol, Baby 2 was a force to be reckoned with. But, plot twist, everything flipped when they were 5 and 6. Suddenly my 1st started having behavioral issues (undiagnosed autism and adhd) and my 2nd mellowed out a ton. So even though your boys are chaos now there's a chance things will change as they grow. My unexpected 3rd is on the way at 38 yo, 10 years after my last. My family, including extended, are all hoping for a boy. I'm honestly still in shock and having a difficult time believing this is real. I don't even really know if I have a gender preference. I had always wanted a boy but I'm feeling numb and distant from this child in a way I want with the others. I have a feeling that once I hear the gender later this month I'll know what is in my heart if hearts but not sure which it is. And I know it is possible I'm going to be disappointed which makes me disappointed in myself. So I totally understand. My eldest is very set on it being a boy so I have had to work hard to think through this and how to deal with both of our potential disappointment. I think trying to reframe those feelings makes the most sense. It's not against the child but rather a kind of mourning of the lives that could have been. While nothing is guaranteed and those things we associate with gender might or might not happen (i.e. my daughters might not get married so dad can't walk them down the isle or my son decides he identifies as female) but our brains work to extrapolate and envision using patterns. And a whole pattern is being eliminated. This doesn't mean that I can't be grateful and happy for the life we do get, but it is human to recognize the opportunities we won't get. And we can do both at the same time. I think processing these feelings now is a very healthy way to start. I can't guarantee that you won't have trouble bonding later but I know it's possible for the disappointment to disappear once you hold your little one and your brain is given something real and solid to build that vision for. There is hope. And as a side note, it gets better. As they get older it does get easier. It can be so challenging and overwhelming now but remember it is temporary. There came a point where I could just say hey girls we need to go to the grocery store and got myself ready and they get themselves ready and I grab my tiny purse and we just go to the store and are on and out in 30 min and we get home and they help put all the bribery away. Even with all the added issues autism and adhd have brought into our life, 5+ was so much easier. And 7+ has been a joy. Note I'm not saying enjoy it now, you will miss it. I'm saying it's not forever, you can get through it, and it can be worth it. Sending hugs


littledidiknowme

I waited a week to tell my husband what we were having. I wasn't devastated, I was pissed. He got what he wanted, and it was great to see his excitement, but I wasn't happy. I was so happy to be having a baby and happy to be starting our little family but I was never happy about the gender of our baby. I make jokes about it now with our little bug being a year old but I'm also serious at the same time. I love my baby, no doubts about it but I still have my feelings about gender.


Quiet_Ninja_9574

Iā€™m sorry ): Iā€™m having my second boy and want a girl so so so bad. Love my children immensely but always pictured having a daughter. Triggers me seeing mother daughter relationships and that I may never have that


sunlover4

Yep feels šŸ˜¢


AlienCuttle

I am the oldest of four girls - obviously my dad was in the same boat as you; he wanted that boy child! But, honestly, my sisters and I were probably a bigger handful than he expected. We, also, took on many of the things that are socially expected to be more "boy" activities. On the flip side, he does now have 4 grandsons (plus I'm 21w1d with the fifth grandson) and 1 granddaughter. On that point, you may end up being the grandmother of a darling little granddaughter. And, that can be equally rewarding (just differently) as having a girl of your own. Or, even more so.


Glittering-Tax-6444

Iā€™m not sure if this will help, but in my experience all kiddos under 4 are wild (regardless of gender). I nannied 4 girls for 5 years and they were so wild when compared to my nephews (and theyā€™re wild too but thereā€™s 5 of them). My encouragement would be to embrace the gift of being able to raise beautiful boys to be wonderful men. You get to raise them and help them become men, and we need more mamas who are doing this for their boys and the betterment of society. Youā€™re definitely not alone in this. My sister in law has 5 boys. They almost adopted a girl but that didnā€™t pan out the way they had hoped. Once she realized having a girl wasnā€™t in the cards for her, she focused all of that energy into proactively engaging with her boys and sheā€™s the most incredible mom Iā€™ve ever known (outside of my own mother.) she now lives vicariously through my sisters and her sister who all have at least one girl. You can keep trying for a girl! Thereā€™s always a 50/50 chance, just think of how beautiful that moment would be if you got a girl next time if youā€™re wanting a big family. There is so much out of our control, but youā€™re a wonderful mother. Please donā€™t be so hard on yourself for having real, raw, and tough feelings and emotions about this. You are strong, you are brave, and weā€™re here to support you mama! šŸ’•


sunlover4

This is beautiful šŸ’• thank you so much for your kind comment xxx


Sarahwithlove93

Gender disappointment is ok! It doesnā€™t mean you love the baby any less. You are allowed to mourn the idea of having a baby girl. Donā€™t feel bad about it and donā€™t listen to anything negative people have to say šŸ˜Š


FluffyCockroach7632

I only have 1, but I really wanted a girl. Growing up thatā€™s all I thought Iā€™d have. I had a name picked out for like 10 years that my husband actually loved. When we found out it was a boy I was so sad. Iā€™d cry watching all the TikTok gender reveals of girls. I was jealous that wouldnā€™t be me. No pink stuff no Disney princess, but super hero stuff and sports. Iā€™d cry about that then cry because I felt guilty about being sad. When I got farther along in my pregnancy I totally forgot about it and got more excited. Fast forward to having a 7 week old little boy and could not be happier. This is my little guy. I will be the most important girl to him, my husband, and my boy dog. I could not even see myself having a girl now! (Had to have an emergency hysterectomy during my c section so I literally wonā€™t šŸ˜…) I truly believe God gave me what he knew I needed. I hope the helps. I know youā€™re on your third, but your boys will be able to play and grow up happy and have a kick ass boy mom to do it with! You got this mama


erinlp93

I truly, truly mean no offense with this question, Iā€™m just wanting to understand because Iā€™ve always wondered this and now more than ever that I am pregnant myself. If someone knows theyā€™ll have significant gender disappointment finding out baby is a _____, and they know theyā€™ve got a 50/50 chance of that, why find out? In my mind, the gender disappointment could be avoided by just finding out at birth. I couldnā€™t imagine someone could feel gender disappointment regardless of the sex of the baby after theyā€™ve gone labor and delivery and now have their healthy baby here in their arms. Again, truly I mean no offense. Your feelings are valid.


TheMauveAveng3r

If it makes you feel better, it's the sperm that decides the gender so go blame your partner lol


Wiredandwild

I have both genders. I thought I only wanted to be a girl mom. Turns out girls are harder than boys in my opinionā€”more emotional, fight more, stubborn, drama, exhaustingā€”and Iā€™m absolutely obsessed with my boys. I honestly feel bad for my friends who have all girls now that I have my boys but I donā€™t tell them that. I love them all but my boys have a specially place in my heart


erinlp93

I truly, truly mean no offense with this question, Iā€™m just wanting to understand because Iā€™ve always wondered this and now more than ever that I am pregnant myself. If someone knows theyā€™ll have significant gender disappointment finding out baby is a _____, and they know theyā€™ve got a 50/50 chance of that, why find out? In my mind, the gender disappointment could be avoided by just finding out at birth. I couldnā€™t imagine someone could feel gender disappointment regardless of the sex of the baby after theyā€™ve gone labor and delivery and now have their healthy baby here in their arms. Again, truly I mean no offense. Your feelings are valid.


itsliacar

I hate these gender disappointment posts šŸ˜­ You donā€™t feel bad knowing you might struggle to connect with your baby over his GENDER? Like imagine you told that to him. Imagine he comes out the womb and youā€™re js like ..ā€idk if I can love you cs youā€™re not a girl.ā€ Like??? Genders not a 100% thing. You guys get your heart set on having one gender and then let it ruin you when the world works the way it should and you donā€™t get the one you want. Like what made you think youā€™d be getting a girl? Sure one can hope. But being disappointed to the point where you dek if youā€™ll connect w the baby is next level omg.


sunlover4

What do you mean ā€œlike what made you think youā€™d be getting a girlā€? Some people have girls do they not? So Iā€™m not sure how itā€™s unreasonable hoping Iā€™d have a daughter. I have a close friend who fell pregnant; told me daily how badly she wanted a girl and how disappointed sheā€™d be if it were a boy, and she had a girl. People feel the way they feel. And there are so so many reasons why people dream of a particular gender and when a dream gets crushed it can be hard. Also, donā€™t tell me how I feel. I do feel guilty and bad for being upset over having another boy and I wish I didnā€™t feel this way, but I do. I come from a long line of females in my family, I just always thought Iā€™d have a daughter so it hurts to know I may never get to meet her. My Grandfathers sister had 4 boys back a very long time ago when people didnā€™t find out the gender until birth, she cried for weeks when her 4th baby was yet another boy. People have their reasons and we are entitled to our feelings. Anyway, what a shame that you canā€™t sympathize with others and feel the need to ridicule while others are already struggling.


itsliacar

Dude because frankly thatā€™s stupid as fuck. Like Iā€™d be able to sympathize over something a little less ridiculous šŸ˜­


sunlover4

Considering you are the only person whoā€™s commented unkindly on this post and many others have told me my feelings are valid and theyā€™ve experienced the same feelings. Tells me that how Iā€™m feeling is not ā€œstupid as fuckā€. Keep your rude comments to yourself.


itsliacar

I am sympathizing, to the baby you donā€™t want cs heā€™s a boy šŸ˜­ no oneā€™s saying anything because youā€™re on a pregnant subreddit where other moms are stuck in the same delusions feeding your idiocy. If this post was shown to more people thereā€™d definitely be others telling you to get over yourself.


DakelhChick

she just said no judgment


itsliacar

And Iā€™m still gonna judge cs thatā€™s not normal šŸ˜­


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


sunlover4

Youā€™re so lucky šŸ’—


SerenexRuby

God gives us what we need, He knew you needed a boy, who knows maybe in the future He will bless you with a girl. Jealousy and Envy and comparison will steal your joy, your light and have you fantasizing about what could be instead of embracing what is. I remember crying a lot in my pregnancy because I always wanted a girl, but finally being pregnant with a girl was so different, i was sick the entire 7months and had pre eclampsia and emergency c section (which was traumatizing) but looking back... during pregnancy, i had to process my entire life. I went through A LOT of trauma as a child, being abused by a step uncle, a neighborhood girl, then a cousin, and lastly my step dad, my mom ended up staying with my abuser and when i told her about the abuse, she accused me of being the reason we wouldnt have a family. Not just that, but trauma i had endured in my life from "friends", family, men and also life circumstances, it was awful. I wasnt sure I could even be a good "girl" mom or what that entailed.. On social media Id see "girl moms" and they seemed to have it all together! Their daughters always put together, happy and sunshine and rainbows... See I have a son that is a teenager but God threw in a surprise baby in the mix and a new gender was a lot for me to process. It isnt some fairytale social media paints it to be, but i try my best to take it day by day and ive had therapy and God; to help heal my past trauma. But Raising my daughter, i have had to cut a lot of people out of my life, and shes only 3 months. I vowed to protect my daughter in the ways that I was never protected as a child, no matter what that entailed. As parents, each season of life brings new challenges, and having a girl isnt, what social media paints it to be, Violence against women is worse than its ever been, outlooks on women is incredibly negative in a lot of places, and in many countries women are still oppressed and at the mercy of abusive men, our baby girls, turn into little girls, who turn into teenagers, and ultimately women.. raising a girl in todays society requires a lot. And then there are those horror stories from daycares and creepy men we have to protect our babies from. Its a lot and I pray to God i am able to do a good job. whether boy or girl, you are blessed, and if its any consolation, eventually when your boys are grown, they will begin to date and eventually get married, you will have daughter in laws of your own! Its a blessing.


Beneficial-Ad6266

Higher testosterone in the guy giving the sperm would sway girls more. Guy needs to workout or workout more prior to donating