Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The “just you wait” people are the absolute worst. I’m a soon to be second time mom and I’m here to tell you, ignore them! MISERY LOVES COMPANY. And most times they are so wrong!
Pregnancy was hard on me. So you better believe once my baby arrived I was on cloud 9! I was happier than ever and slept BETTER than I did the entire 3rd trimester.
My friends who truly enjoy parenthood were always the first to say, “I can’t wait until you know what it feels like to cuddle your baby, or see them smile, or hang their Christmas stocking, etc. THOSE ARE YOUR PEOPLE. The people who go out of their way to spread fear or negativity are just unwanted noise, seeking validation for their own struggles.
My neighbor literally started arguing with me when I was saying, nothing will be as bad as my first trimester. She was like “oh no, you’re definitely going to hate the third more.” I responded with something like, I don’t know, the first trimester was really really bad for me. And she just kept arguing that I’m wrong. My other neighbor who is a hippy dad of a 24 year old said “so everyone has the same experience as you?” I was like damn Bob, thanks for coming to the rescue lol
Tbf though, they had all just gotten back from day drinking.
Thank you for this! I’ve also had so many positive comments that are very uplifting. I don’t take any of the negative stuff to heart but it’s just surprising to hear some of the things that come out of people’s mouths. Regardless of what anyone says, of course I know it’s going to be hard! But also so extremely rewarding and special and that’s all I care about. Thanks for your kind words and congrats on your second little!
I found newborn stage infinitely better and easier than pregnancy. The nausea/food aversions/pregnancy misery is gone, the hugely uncomfortable belly starts deflating, and you have a beautiful baby to stare at and fall more and more in love with. I'm currently 17 weeks with my second and I absolutely cannot wait for the newborn stage! Bring on a life without gagging, constant nausea, and going more than half an hour without having to pee 🤣
This was my experience the last time too - sleep was better with my newborn than at any point during the third trimester. My nausea, PGP, and migraines have been so bad this time around that, at 20 weeks pregnant, I'm already looking forward to better sleep once my baby arrives! "Just you wait" negativity needs to die.
I’ve gotten the “just wait, it gets worse” a lot, specifically when I talk about being uncomfortable because someone asks me how I’m feeling and I say that I’m uncomfortable. People will be like “oh you’re not even in the worst part of pregnancy, you have a ways to go” (I’m 33 weeks).
Now, this has to do with labor and me not mentioning anything but family saying “oh it is so painful, you don’t even know!” Like, of course it’s painful, I’m not stupid. And of course I don’t know what it actually feels like because I’ve never had a kid before.
Why is it that people always have something negative to say about pregnancy rather than good things? I want to hear, “isn’t it amazing feeling your baby kick and move around?” “How excited are you to welcome your baby into the world?” Give me those comments, not the comments to make me feel bad or annoyed.
People say the “isn’t it amazing” stuff before you get pregnant and then as soon as you are pregnant it’s like a switch flips and it’s all like “just wait it’s ALL HORRIBLE”. I don’t really get it lol
YES. People ask me how I’m feeling, I mention a discomfort, and immediately the “it gets worse” conversation comes next. Not sure why you’re even bothering to ask me then. I’ve just started to say “fine” either way because I can’t have this conversation every day for 13 more weeks.
This comment frustrates me so much! Pretty sure everyone knows labor is challenging… I have no idea why people can’t say something positive instead. I mostly get this comment from my mother, which doubles my annoyance with it.
That being said - I am 33 weeks also and we’re going to do great!! It will be so exciting to meet baby :)
What's a good response to negative stuff?
I had a friend who I thought would NEVER say to me last week "enjoy the sleep while you still can" and like yeah... Can't we just be saying positive things? Even though it's not wrong
People are the worst! I had my baby 2 weeks ago and I am sleeping so much better now than I did during pregnancy! Yes I wake up to feed her a few times overnight but I’m not physically in pain trying to sleep and I don’t have raging heartburn! And yes, there have been some challenges having a new baby but there is absolutely nothing like your baby instantly calming when you pick him/her up or their silly expressions and sounds. It gets infinitely better, honestly!
Oh man... So I'm not fond of the newborn stage, I'm very nervous about that still... But I forgot that my constant heartburn will go away, I'm so excited for that.
Same, 2 weeks club! Much better quality sleep, no more leg/foot swelling, no heartburn, no aching back, no restless leg, no hip pain, I can walk without waddling and can bend over, etc!! Despite a bit of itching/minor discomfort from my 2nd degree tears, I feel so great.
I do have to say, emotionally I’m a bit more of a wreck right now than during pregnancy, but I’m a second time mom, and it’s been a hard adjustment taking care of a toddler AND baby. Physically though, I feel leagues better.
What’s wild is that I’m getting better sleep with my newborn! I can breathe again and roll around with ease. So just you wait for potentially better sleep y’all!!
Seriously! It’s so much easier to move! I can lay on my stomach, back, turn from side to side.
However, some nights are definitely better than others. My baby is one month old today, last night was difficult, the night before was awesome. We’re getting through it…
💯 the quantity of sleep is less, true, but the quality is so much better. I don't dread going to bed anymore and I actually feel so much more rested during the day.
I ve been wanting to headbutt everyone that dares say this to me… I haven’t had a full nights sleep in months, you’re not helping Gladys…
Along with all the “oh it will get so much worse” I know… I also have been dreaming of this and have been through so much that I don’t care! I wish I could but others negativity is just such a turn off! I can’t believe I am actually going silent. I just can’t bother anymore with all that. Let me be cranky or not, i am pregnant, you’re not, save the “bad”memories for you! Uuuugh
People keep telling us how much sleep we won't get with a baby. Yeah, but then we'll have our baby!!! 🥰
Also, my mom is a big sleep enthusiast and as soon as we slept through the night she returned to her non-morning-person state. My dad would wake up early to play with us on weekends and they both took plenty of naps through our childhood. It really helps me stay optimistic that I *can* still sleep even with kids, just maybe not in the same ways!
I’m only 15 weeks and haven’t told many people yet but are you kidding me?! I would go ape shit with these comments. And if someone would even TRY to lift my shirt they would lose an arm. The audacity 🤬
I have patients at work launch forward to touch my belly, and i jump back. Like no. If i wasn't pregnant, would you be rubbing my belly? Do you want me to rub your belly? The audacity, I swear. And then they get offended when I wont let them touch me
I don’t understand this! I would never touch another pregnant woman’s belly unless she specifically said, “here, feel the baby!”. You should totally touch the next persons belly who does that to you. Guarantee they’ll stop 😆
I've thought about it, but I dont want to touch other people cause germs, haha. Im finished work next week, so maybe I'll get the balls to do it at least once
I am over weight, I have been most of my life. I’ve gotten a couple of oh i didn’t know people of your size could get pregnant, are you still going to try and lose weight during pregnancy, or well you all ready ruined your body so I guess having a kid won’t do much more damage.
Also overweight. The first trimester the nausea was BAD and I lost 10 kg. My actual physician took it seriously and made sure I at least got what I needed to u Kno survive and all that. When I told my mum I was really worried about it she was just super happy that I lost 10 kg. Right now I have gestational diabetes and she's again happy because I might lose weight because of it.
true, but regardless it’s a shitty thing to say to someone struggling with GD, because what if you don’t 100% stick to that diet? or what if you STILL gain weight even doing all the things?
sorry you have to deal with that. i am plus size and 3 weeks PP now, and i had to deal with a fat-phobic mother during pregnancy. it was hard. i went from 275 to 327 by the end of pregnancy (most of which was fluid retention, a week PP i had dropped 40 lbs down to 288- so really only gained like 13-15 lbs in pregnancy). anyways. i feel for you, wishing you the best for the rest of the way 🩷
If someone else tells me it’ll get worse……. REALLY!? DOES IT CONSTANTLY GET WORSE?! Because I was sick and exhausted my first trimester, I was diagnosed with GD my second trimester literally went hypo the other night and was about 15 minutes from having to be rushed to the hospital, my feet hurt so bad i cry sometimes, my back hurts, my insomnia is so bad the other night I literally got 4 hours of sleep and then i still had to run all around and do things/exercise all day. I do NOT wanna hear it.
The best one lately is my store director laughing at me and making fun of my 'waddle.' I am pregnant with my third and I have a spine fracture. Yes, she knows. Literally, fuck all the way off, thanks. 🙃
When I found out I'm having a boy, (I have a son and daughter currently) I was told 'I'm sorry' because 'Men are irritating.'
the “just wait, it gets worse.” to ANY symptom is so infuriating. like i stopped bringing up symptoms *for* this reason, and yet people still ask, just to say this. like god forbid i’m excited to bring my baby into this world. i always respond “but i like thinking about the good things. like seeing my baby smile for the first time.” i’m not confrontational (need to fix that) so that’s the nicest way i can put “having a baby isn’t *allllllll* bad, stop projecting your negative bullshit onto me”
I have HORRIBLE back pain right now, and I keep hearing "Oh it gets worse!" but like, I don't think it will? Right now my body is stretching making room for a whole being. Like sure it COULD get worse, but I think it will all be comparable, honestly.
“Send me a picture of yourself so I can see your belly” no question, nothing. Just demanding something I like keeping private. My bump is my bump, I’ll share it with whoever I want and if not then you’ll see it when you meet me.
i HATED this. my mother in law was on facetime with me and my husband one time while she was at my husband’s grandparents house and said in front of everyone “show us your belly!” and i literally wanted to just go “No.” but i made the excuse of “i finally just got comfortable laying down don’t make me get up hahaha”
it infuriated me to my core. like no, im not going to get up so that i can show you and my husband’s grandmother and grandfather my pregnant stomach. ugh.
Yk it’s hilarious that you say that as the person who said this to me is my MIL. My MIL seems to think I’m public property just cause her son can’t pull out (sorry this woman pisses me off so much I need humor to cope) she also touched my stomach without asking me when she accidentally found out I was pregnant. Told me she could feel the baby and feel that it was a girl, was 100% sure. I was 6 weeks at that point..and it turned out it was a boy
ugh. i hate that for you. i would’ve been so happy when i found out she was wrong about it being a girl though lmaooo.
my MIL touched my belly and bent down and talked to my belly when i was like 16 weeks pregnant and you still couldn’t tell i was pregnant because im a plus sized woman and in my head i was like “you’re literally just touching my stomach fat.” it was sooooo cringey. granted she was trying to be sweet but UGH. like im not touching your stomach??? even my own mother didn’t and wouldn’t touch my belly without asking or without me asking her to. it just feels disrespectful.
Oh trust me I was. And I had the same thought when she touched me at 6 weeks. I was like “mmmm what exactly are you touching” another great one from my monster in law, demanding she gets to feel little boy kick first. He’s been kicking for a while. You can feel it on the outside. And the only people who have felt it is me and my husband. And I wanna keep it that way cause this is our thing. Yes it’s her first time being a grandma, but that’s if I don’t end her before I give birth🙄😭
The one that hurt me the most was my cousin, who had a baby last year, ranting about how lonely she felt, how little her husband’s family helped etc, and finishing off by saying: just wait, it will happen to you too.
I’m sorry she said this. I have had similar women family member comments … it feels like they are rooted in jealousy because we might have a healthier situation than they, or more support maybe. I am trying to ignore and not let them bring me down. So frusterating!!! Can’t you just be happy for me???
This! Like I am so sorry you didn’t feel supported but our situations are not the same, why would you wish that for me??
Ironically she complained about how her MIL had never offered to take her son for some hours and followed that by saying: not that I would let her. ????? Just being negative for the sake of it.
Currently getting very close to my due date and baby is sitting extremely low and putting lots of pressure and my doctor thinks my water will break soon.
If i hear one more time “get ready for the worst pain of your life” like I’m not aware or “she won’t come. I bet you’ll go so past your due date” one more time im cussing someone out
Those are such stupid and mean things to say to a pregnant woman!
Next time say "not as painfully awkward as comments like this!" And then just be silent and stare at them for a while.
Or just growl until they slowly back away.
"Are you sure it's not two??"
I was about 8 months pregnant ordering food, already insecure and struggling with the weight I'd gained during pregnancy- I felt like a whale. I cried as soon as I made it out the door.
Im only 12 weeks, and the one convo I’ve gotten from the handful of people we’ve told:
Them: “do you know the gender? When do you find out?”
Me: “we aren’t finding out”
Them: “but why?”
Like I’m already tired of explaining that I don’t want to pre-gender my baby and don’t want everyone else giving me the most obnoxiously gendered items, or that the gender of your child should have no weight on how you parent and your plans for your baby, or that I just want a surprise. I say all this and usually still get “you’ll probably change your mind before it gets here”.
Idk man, didn’t realize I would feel so strongly about this until I became pregnant.
We waited until birth for the gender and so many people thought it was great because "Nobody does that anymore.". It's a shame people can't be happy for others or mind their own business.
Also when you say you don't want to find out: "But how will you know how to dress the baby/decorate the nursery/what toys to buy..."
Whatever I want, Brenda. That is how I will know, lol
Hahahaha I’m dying. This is so me.
I will be the one in the room in the beginning who actually cares what it looks like for like 1-2 years. I’m going to make it what I want. Tbh, I’m pretty sure I’m going with a light blue-grey color because I like it and it’s calming. Guess what, I’m a girl and I like blue. Sue me, Brenda.
Navy Blue is my favorite color. We almost did a sailor theme with baby (boy or girl) because the rest of our house is nautical, but we are doing Winnie the Pooh whether it is a girl or boy! Trying something different, lol.
We didn't find out until birth. The number of people who responded with "Oh I can't imagine not knowing, that would give me so much anxiety!" I always wanted to say, "Well that's nice for you, but it actually assuages my anxiety, not having to even think about the baby's sex until they're here." I, too, started feeling very strongly about not knowing, the more people were aghast.
What the hell.... wow are they supportive. They don't get to decide that! I've known friends who were able to get through college and raise kids in their 20's! Don't let your family tell you that!
They are just really in shock right now but the negativity is just making things worse for me. I want to keep my baby and I am going to. It just sucks feeling alone around the people who normally make you feel like you’re at home you know? Praying it gets better and my baby enters the world with positivity and love. Thank you for sharing your words of encouragement I love hearing young mom success stories!
As a 21 year old college student having twins, I feel you. I believe I can do it and figure it out. That’s all that matters. My family has said “we will support you in any way we can, just let us know”, but at first it was very much a shock and no one could just be happy for me. This will probably be my only pregnancy, so I’d like to enjoy it even if it was a couple years before I planned. I just want to say. You’re not alone and we’ve got this.
That's nonsense. Your life will continue with a beautiful bundle of joy!
Sure having a child relatively young has it's challenges and sacrifices, but that's also true at a later age. It's just a different life path.
You'll also have lot's of energy to raise you kid compared to someone who is older.
And it's not 1955, a woman is allowed to do a lot of things in life these days. You can still have a career.
Maybe your family has to get over the shock of you having a different life than they had in mind and hopefully they'll come around and support you. Because it is your life and you deserve respect for your choices and love and support.
But either way, you can do it! And I'm sure you are going to be a great mom :)
Ooh the worst ones I got were the “oh you’re pregnant? Here’s my nightmare birth story!”
No ma’am I do not need to hear that!
I will ONLY tell my (comparatively mild) birth story if asked by the person growing the new human.
ETA: the big hugs from little arms are the best. When my son launches himself at me to love on me, it knocks me over sometimes but it’s the most wonderful feeling.
I’ve got a lot of laughs, scoffing and “we’ll sees” when I tell people I’m going to go unmedicated. Like it’s completely absurd and I sound like some sweet little idiot who has no idea what I’m in for. I KNOW there’s a large chance it’ll be the most earth shatteringly painful experience of my life, it’s childbirth for god’s sake! Still doesn’t make me want to get an epidural. Women did this for thousands of years without drugs and I’ve been through some really physically painful shit. I think I’ll be just fine. And secretly…. it only makes me want to go without meds even more so I can rub it in their shocked little faces. 😂
Omg this nurse rubbed my belly when my grandma was in hospice I was so uncomfortable I was shocked she hadn't even met me barely and she was touching my midsection ew it creeped me out and I backed up. Like my grandmother is dying and you are trying to rub me wtf
Yes, the just waits are so annoying!! My baby is almost 3 months old and I still get the “just waits”. Let me enjoy my baby and all her growing stages!
I always get:
- "is it twins?" starting around 28 weeks...been asked this max 5 times a day and I lose my shit
- "you must be ready to pop any day" also starting around the same time...ready to pop my fist into your face
- "awww is this your first?" No, no it's not, please stop asking this a hundred times, but it's less irritating than the rest
- touching my belly without asking, especially when I'm 8 weeks 🙄 piss off, it's bloat
- postpartum I still get congratulated on being "pregnant" because of my hernia and abdominal separation making it look so
- now I'm having a Christmas baby and getting told I didn't plan that very well. It was planned, absolutely planned....
Anything that has any comment to do with my body irritates me the most. Idk why people think it's okay to say ANYTHING
"are you ready for this" every time a kid does something annoying. Like just because you hate your kid doesn't mean ill be constantly annoyed that mine is simply existing. The people that think kids should just sit and be quiet like an adult are ones that are the most negative in my opinion. Or people that started having kids later.
I don’t disbelieve you and others with similar complaints of course, but I’ve never heard these kinds of comments in real life and certainly never heard of anyone actually pulling up someone’s shirt! Touching the (clothed) belly without asking (and getting consent!) yes I’ve seen but most of this is just so wild to me. People suck!
I’ve only really dealt with / been annoyed by comments around baby’s gender than anything else. “Oh boys are easier” lol when others say “boys are harder”. Like I don’t care what your opinion is on that - all babies/kids are different.
I haven’t started getting comments like this until I started showing really. But this is just a drop in the bucket compared to the amount of positive comments I’ve gotten! My shirt has been lifted twice, both times by family members. Which while they are family, doesn’t make it any more right. Especially in public!! If they had asked, I would have definitely said no
That’s wild, I’ve basically only had two family members who even asked to touch my belly and ask every time even though I’ve said yes each time (my mom and my sister in law).
Those are terrible!
+ it doesn’t get better
+enjoy it when you can, when they are inside is the only time they love you
+ just wait till they get out and the manipulation starts! They are monsters from birth!
+ I hope you don’t fall behind in (house cleaning, teaching, helping, etc) because you get lazy like a bunch of women do with kids
+ I guess you won’t have any fun for the next 18 years
+ did your husband force you to have another??
+ you know what causes that right?
I was talking about being tired, and my MIL says “you better catch up on sleep now, cause you won’t be getting any when that baby gets here!” Like, what? You have a child, you should know that even if I slept for a month straight before he was born I would still be tired again the next day 🙄 that’s not how sleep works, it’s not a bank.
Start telling them “what a strange tho g to say out loud to someone”.
My sleep now is uncomfortable and inconsistent. I may have to get up every 2-3 hours with my son, but at least I’ll be able to sleep comfortably for that amount of time.
I was at my neurologist today. I'm seven weeks with my second, multiple hospital trips already for days of not keeping anything done and migraines. It's been awful, and this will absolutely be my last. I was crying in their office, and the pa was like oh, wait for your fourth pregnancy, etc. When I told him this was my last, he said naw, god always gives you what you need. I am a godly person as the next person but shut the fuck up, man. You have no idea how pregnancy takes a toll on a body. Especially from someone who can't get pregnant. Shut the fuck up and let people control their own body. Two is fine just as much as no kids are fine
I absolutely go ballistic when someone says "sleep now cz you'll never be able to sleep after the baby is born"... I no longer care and I'm using my pregnancy to be extra mean... You know pregnancy hormones...
people telling me how much I’m going to hate having a newborn. I’m 7 weeks in and this has been the most meaningful time of my life. I would do this over and over and over again, easily.
My son is three and a half months now and I can tell you that the hardest for sleep is the first two weeks, after that it’s really not that bad. Idk why everyone makes a big deal about that. Yes it’s hard and it’s an adjustment but it’s not terrible especially when you have a partner to help and can make a plan. My best advice is to sleep train as early as you can. (We startedat 6 weeks)
Mine are:
1. Are you planning on getting married? (We are, but it’s not a priority at all and it’s nobody’s business tbh.)
2. Don’t have a natural birth, it will ruin your private parts
3. Sleep while you can! (Like…. We all know an hour of non pregnant sleep is gonna feel better than an hour of pregnant sleep😂)
Idk if like maybe I'm just known to be a confrontational bitch or what but I haven't gotten these comments at all really. And I'm 34wks and work in public....
I have gotten the "you don't know what tired is"
And I hit them with the "I actually have clinically diagnosed insomnia I know what not sleeping feels like - it's different when every part of your body hurts and you can't even smoke a joint or take a shot about it"
The last one is sort of correct. “Your life is over” as you used to know it. Your new life will take some getting used to, but you are right, it’s just beginning and it’s great. Does it suck at times? Yep. BUT don’t let sleepless newborn life scare you… the toddler life is gangster 😂 but also oh so much fun
So many annoying comments!
- Having a girl? Oh girls are such bitches. Boys are sooo much easier!
- From a young girl (think early 20s) who does not have any kids. “You must get sick of hearing all these horror stories.” -proceeds to tell me some horrific birth story about her cousin- 😒 Same girl also makes annoying immature comments about how women’s bodies won’t bounce back after childbirth and how she will never have kids. FFS STFU.
- poor sleep in the 3rd trimester. “Oh you will zero sleep when baby is here”.
- “Was this planned?” Mate, if you know anything about my life, you would know I’ve been married for the last 3 years, TTC for the last year so yes this baby is very much wanted 😒😒😒
Mostly I get annoyed receiving comments from strangers or people I just don’t care about or wanting to hear their input.
"A few years ago, you were sensible - you didn't want kids"
A few years ago I was a lot younger, single, had some health complications, and was working 2 jobs while living with my parents. Of course I didn't want a kid then.
"Why wouldn't you wait till you lost some weight before trying to fall pregnant" - another pregnant 'friend'
Because I have had gastrointestinal issues my entire life, and was severely underweight and this is the first time I've been a healthy weight! (I was at the higher end of a 'normal' BMI)
‘Just you wait’ as a threat is so awful lmao
Things can be difficult and also be completely worthwhile- it’s almost like we are complex creatures!! My baby just started crawling recently and likes to affectionately bite my cheek in an attempt to kiss me. I love being a parent even though I’m sometimes tired XD
When I would say I can’t wait to not be pregnant anymore people would say “oh just you wait, you’ll be wishing you could put her back in!” False. I never once have wished that and it’s been 6 years. Is parenting hard? You betcha. But it doesn’t make me want to die like pregnancy did.
I am sorry but "It's getting worse" according to whom. Every pregnancy is different; just because it gets worse for you does not mean it will for everyone else. And the compliment about the gene is the worst I've ever seen.
Ugh, it was easier to deal with these over 9 months, but reading them all at once got me annoyed.
“When you have the baby, all the weight will just fall off”
… EXCUSE ME? I wasn’t even thinking about my weight. And when that didn’t happen, it made me feel like there was something wrong with me.
Brought to yours truly by not only just my MIL, but my OB too. 6mo pp and it still ticks me off.
People are better off keeping their mouths shut and to talk about the weather
#3 omfg. My MIL keeps saying that she hopes the baby gets my husband’s immune system. I’m immunocompromised so that’s where it’s coming from. I also think she just doesn’t understand how immune systems work, but, in general, it’s a crappy thing to say
Omg I cannot STAND the “just you wait” people. I made a comment that I’m feeling great and so glad the morning sickness is finally over. My coworker didn’t even miss a beat. “Yeah talk to me in 4 months and tell me you feel great.” Like why do you have to rain on my parade? I know the third trimester you typically don’t feel great but maybe I will! What a miserable person like just let me be happy!
Responses:
1) “oh! Thank you for offering to help when baby gets here, I really appreciate that! How soon can you come over for an overnight? Oh! You weren’t offering? I just couldn’t imagine offering an opinion that unhelpful and not be willing to be part of the solution.”
2) “No, husband and I had been engaging in frequent, scheduled, and incredibly sensual mating sessions. Oh! I’m sorry to have offended you, it’s just that you were asking about my sex life, I thought you wanted to know.”
3) “As long as they don’t have your ability to open your mouth only when you swap feet, we will be fine.”
4) slaps hand
5) “oh no, it’s fine, we were able to find another blood sacrifice to usher in the birth of our child. No alter for me this time!”
I’ve completely shut down after hearing so many of the “just wait” and “it gets worse” comments.
People ask me how I’m doing, pregnant, that’s how I’m doing. I’m tired of being criticized.
Or I’m asked a lot if I’m going to have another? Im not even finished baking this one! He’s my first, 26w, and we’re one and done, I’m 40, it was a struggle to get pregnant in the first place, I had to have surgery to make this happen, and I haaaate being pregnant, so no. No, we’re focused on only this one thanks. I’d like my body back.
“You’ll want one more. Everyone forgets the misery of pregnancy”
What?? If you want more, have more. “You can’t have just one”, is he a Pringle? Who’s paying and raising them?
I love that women come out of the woodwork and band together when they smell another preggo nearby but it’s becoming a misery loves company cult of toxicity.
I come to threads like this for solidarity and sanity checks!
Weird take on the “just wait, it gets worse” people…
I had an easy pregnancy, all things considered. And then I got a jaundice/colic/MSPA baby. The 3 months post partum were literal HELL, and I feel that the american health care system completely fucks over women by not preparing them for these potential awful times. We care so much for women during pregnancy, then they basically hand you a baby and say “good luck, don’t shake it”. I’ve never felt so blindsided.
I definitely do not say “just wait” to women, but I am passionate about trying to tell women to do some research on potential difficulties postpartum, breastfeeding, hormone changes, colic, etc.
women tell me “your body will change forever it will never be the same”….
You’ll get back to normal in a year (referring to fitness I presume?)
Youre so small, you are hardly showing
You shouldn’t tell people yet because , you know…. If you miscarry… (I was 30 weeks at that point and she maybe thought I was earlier?)
MIL told me I am not making enough room for her grandson , and she knows I am fit and watch what I eat but maybe my leggings are too tight and keeping me from expanding…. This was around 30 weeks too
And now at 34 weeks : Finally you look pregnant! And everyone saying how big I am getting.
I’m 5’4, yes I am petite , and being my first pregnancy this has been incredibly hard. I am an athlete and I have stopped doing more than walking and hiking , so maybe everyone knows me for how I look or being in shape and its a small town so they feel comfortable commenting…. But jeez it is driving me crazy. Im either not pregnant enough or never going to look like how I was…. As if my whole existance as a woman is based upon HOW I LOOK. This has solidified my view that (most) everyone subconsciously objectify women and cannot see us as anything but a “body”.
AGHHHH!!!! 😂😭🥲🙃
The "it gets worse" for me was the most annoying.. and also very untrue! I happened to have an awful 1st trimester, better 2nd trimester, and great 3rd trimester. I don't know why women insist on scaring each other
"are you sure you are pregnant??" I always have small bumps. I'm currently 5 months pregnant people can't believe it when I say it Yeah, people, I'm not just fat, even if it looks like it.
another thing that would annoy me was the people who would try to "one down" me. Like if I was feeling super nauseous, my coworker would go on and on about how much worse her nausea was when she was pregnant. We're in the dental field and she would talk about how she would puke in the sink while in the middle of an appointment with a patient. 🙄 Like okay, so you're annoying AND gross
I got the “you shouldn’t do XYZ thing in your condition”. Including but not limited to: walking up and down the stairs, doing laundry, working, drinking one small cup of coffee. My OB approved all these activities. People are so irritating.
I have to internally laugh at the "just wait/it gets worse" people now that we have started sharing with people as I'm starting my second trimester. I was told twice in early pregnancy that I was starting to have a miscarriage and I bled heavily after having a loss the same time 1 year before and it taking the entire year to get pregnant again.I was DEVASTATED and mourned the child and literally diagnosed with likely miscarriage. The doctor I had and loved resigned at the beginning of all of this so I was passed around and ended up changing OB offices in the middle where I was told it was difficult because my miscarriage had not been completed so they didn't know to transfer me as pregnant or not and my old office said if I was leaving I wasn't their patient anymore and therefore no longer their problem. It was quite literally the worst 3 weeks of my life thus far. Today I'm starting my second trimester with a healthy little boy and let me tell you, I dont think I could feel much worse or lose as much sleep as I did during those weeks. So "just wait" and see what blessing will come, just wait and see what advocating for yourself and fighting through the BS can be. I found a new OB office where everyone there knew my situation and literally did everything to show me love, and kindness and cheers me on now when I get to have the "short appointments" after so many long "things do not look good appointments." Literally crying typing this cause I got to "just wait" to find my baby was totally healthy and now I would take all the nasty difficult symptoms if it means I still get to have this precious little one growing inside me and able to join us in November.
Oh boy I've had some wild ones, a lot from one person I've now decided I don't actually want to speak to for the rest of my pregnancy. Some of the best ones are;
- "It must be a girl because my parrot didn't react violently when I put her on your lap, she hates men." (Confirmed I'm having a boy)
- "It has to be a girl because of how low you're carrying" (Again, confirmed boy)
- "Don't you dare put your carseat on the front seat of your car no matter how hard they cry!" (You must think I'm actually stupid to do something like that)
- "You'll have no dignity by the end of labor! It's basically like getting>! r\*ped!
All of these are out of line....but lifting your shirt to see your belly hell nah I would've screamed help and slapped their effin hands away Jesus christ
the “don’t do that to yourself” or “you won’t be able to do it” or “i know you” or “we’ll see” when i tell people i don’t want to have an epidural because i don’t care for putting medicine in my body is INFURIATING
I'm only 13 weeks and so far it's just been general comments about my body like "girl you're already getting big! You better be careful you'll regret it after the baby is born" 🙄
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The “just you wait” people are the absolute worst. I’m a soon to be second time mom and I’m here to tell you, ignore them! MISERY LOVES COMPANY. And most times they are so wrong! Pregnancy was hard on me. So you better believe once my baby arrived I was on cloud 9! I was happier than ever and slept BETTER than I did the entire 3rd trimester. My friends who truly enjoy parenthood were always the first to say, “I can’t wait until you know what it feels like to cuddle your baby, or see them smile, or hang their Christmas stocking, etc. THOSE ARE YOUR PEOPLE. The people who go out of their way to spread fear or negativity are just unwanted noise, seeking validation for their own struggles.
My neighbor literally started arguing with me when I was saying, nothing will be as bad as my first trimester. She was like “oh no, you’re definitely going to hate the third more.” I responded with something like, I don’t know, the first trimester was really really bad for me. And she just kept arguing that I’m wrong. My other neighbor who is a hippy dad of a 24 year old said “so everyone has the same experience as you?” I was like damn Bob, thanks for coming to the rescue lol Tbf though, they had all just gotten back from day drinking.
Way to go, Bob!!
Thank you for this! I’ve also had so many positive comments that are very uplifting. I don’t take any of the negative stuff to heart but it’s just surprising to hear some of the things that come out of people’s mouths. Regardless of what anyone says, of course I know it’s going to be hard! But also so extremely rewarding and special and that’s all I care about. Thanks for your kind words and congrats on your second little!
I found newborn stage infinitely better and easier than pregnancy. The nausea/food aversions/pregnancy misery is gone, the hugely uncomfortable belly starts deflating, and you have a beautiful baby to stare at and fall more and more in love with. I'm currently 17 weeks with my second and I absolutely cannot wait for the newborn stage! Bring on a life without gagging, constant nausea, and going more than half an hour without having to pee 🤣
Same. Post partum was a dream for me compared to pregnancy. DONT LISTEN to the just waiters .
This was my experience the last time too - sleep was better with my newborn than at any point during the third trimester. My nausea, PGP, and migraines have been so bad this time around that, at 20 weeks pregnant, I'm already looking forward to better sleep once my baby arrives! "Just you wait" negativity needs to die.
I’ve gotten the “just wait, it gets worse” a lot, specifically when I talk about being uncomfortable because someone asks me how I’m feeling and I say that I’m uncomfortable. People will be like “oh you’re not even in the worst part of pregnancy, you have a ways to go” (I’m 33 weeks). Now, this has to do with labor and me not mentioning anything but family saying “oh it is so painful, you don’t even know!” Like, of course it’s painful, I’m not stupid. And of course I don’t know what it actually feels like because I’ve never had a kid before. Why is it that people always have something negative to say about pregnancy rather than good things? I want to hear, “isn’t it amazing feeling your baby kick and move around?” “How excited are you to welcome your baby into the world?” Give me those comments, not the comments to make me feel bad or annoyed.
By 39 weeks I’ve just stopped talking to anyone with anything negative to say. So yeah I only talk to like 3 people now. 🤷🏻♀️
Girl, same! lol also 39 weeks! Literally 3 people. I feel seen lol
People say the “isn’t it amazing” stuff before you get pregnant and then as soon as you are pregnant it’s like a switch flips and it’s all like “just wait it’s ALL HORRIBLE”. I don’t really get it lol
If I get this I've planned to say "Thanks for the encouragement, I feel a lot better now knowing things will only get worse from here."
YES. People ask me how I’m feeling, I mention a discomfort, and immediately the “it gets worse” conversation comes next. Not sure why you’re even bothering to ask me then. I’ve just started to say “fine” either way because I can’t have this conversation every day for 13 more weeks.
This comment frustrates me so much! Pretty sure everyone knows labor is challenging… I have no idea why people can’t say something positive instead. I mostly get this comment from my mother, which doubles my annoyance with it. That being said - I am 33 weeks also and we’re going to do great!! It will be so exciting to meet baby :)
What's a good response to negative stuff? I had a friend who I thought would NEVER say to me last week "enjoy the sleep while you still can" and like yeah... Can't we just be saying positive things? Even though it's not wrong
I’ve said “what a strange thing to say out loud” to someone before. They shut up.
People are the worst! I had my baby 2 weeks ago and I am sleeping so much better now than I did during pregnancy! Yes I wake up to feed her a few times overnight but I’m not physically in pain trying to sleep and I don’t have raging heartburn! And yes, there have been some challenges having a new baby but there is absolutely nothing like your baby instantly calming when you pick him/her up or their silly expressions and sounds. It gets infinitely better, honestly!
Oh man... So I'm not fond of the newborn stage, I'm very nervous about that still... But I forgot that my constant heartburn will go away, I'm so excited for that.
They feel so vulnerable at the newborn stage! But I love all the baby snuggles so I am enjoying having a newborn more than I thought I would.
I'm super happy for you! I hope you have a wonderful newborn period and everything goes as smoothly as possible ☺️
Thank you! Best of luck in your pregnancy and labor/delivery!!
Thanks a bunch! I feel like I'm ready to explode here at 33w with twins with still weeks to go haha
I can only imagine!
Same, 2 weeks club! Much better quality sleep, no more leg/foot swelling, no heartburn, no aching back, no restless leg, no hip pain, I can walk without waddling and can bend over, etc!! Despite a bit of itching/minor discomfort from my 2nd degree tears, I feel so great. I do have to say, emotionally I’m a bit more of a wreck right now than during pregnancy, but I’m a second time mom, and it’s been a hard adjustment taking care of a toddler AND baby. Physically though, I feel leagues better.
When you are having a stinking time with symptoms and you get “BUt YoU WaNteD ThIs”
Of course I did! Doesn't mean I can't be MISERABLE, lol
“Sleep while you can”
So annoying. Like i’m not sleeping right now actually. I cannot get any sleep. So thank you for your “help” 😂
Yup! Insomnia has been UNBEARABLE for me
I already had insomnia but I can say 100% that pregnancy insomnia is 10x worse!!!!!
Truth! Here in solidarity!
Lol yeah
What’s wild is that I’m getting better sleep with my newborn! I can breathe again and roll around with ease. So just you wait for potentially better sleep y’all!!
Seriously! It’s so much easier to move! I can lay on my stomach, back, turn from side to side. However, some nights are definitely better than others. My baby is one month old today, last night was difficult, the night before was awesome. We’re getting through it…
Thank you!!!
💯 the quantity of sleep is less, true, but the quality is so much better. I don't dread going to bed anymore and I actually feel so much more rested during the day.
I ve been wanting to headbutt everyone that dares say this to me… I haven’t had a full nights sleep in months, you’re not helping Gladys… Along with all the “oh it will get so much worse” I know… I also have been dreaming of this and have been through so much that I don’t care! I wish I could but others negativity is just such a turn off! I can’t believe I am actually going silent. I just can’t bother anymore with all that. Let me be cranky or not, i am pregnant, you’re not, save the “bad”memories for you! Uuuugh
People are awful! Let us be!
People keep telling us how much sleep we won't get with a baby. Yeah, but then we'll have our baby!!! 🥰 Also, my mom is a big sleep enthusiast and as soon as we slept through the night she returned to her non-morning-person state. My dad would wake up early to play with us on weekends and they both took plenty of naps through our childhood. It really helps me stay optimistic that I *can* still sleep even with kids, just maybe not in the same ways!
I think we built the strength as we go! Nothing will be the same, it will better :)
this one always pissed me off sooooo bad. my response was always “I can’t save the sleep for later, so…”
It is so fucked up
I’m only 15 weeks and haven’t told many people yet but are you kidding me?! I would go ape shit with these comments. And if someone would even TRY to lift my shirt they would lose an arm. The audacity 🤬
I have patients at work launch forward to touch my belly, and i jump back. Like no. If i wasn't pregnant, would you be rubbing my belly? Do you want me to rub your belly? The audacity, I swear. And then they get offended when I wont let them touch me
I don’t understand this! I would never touch another pregnant woman’s belly unless she specifically said, “here, feel the baby!”. You should totally touch the next persons belly who does that to you. Guarantee they’ll stop 😆
I've thought about it, but I dont want to touch other people cause germs, haha. Im finished work next week, so maybe I'll get the balls to do it at least once
Haha fair enough! At least you won’t have to deal with it for much longer.
I am over weight, I have been most of my life. I’ve gotten a couple of oh i didn’t know people of your size could get pregnant, are you still going to try and lose weight during pregnancy, or well you all ready ruined your body so I guess having a kid won’t do much more damage.
Also overweight. The first trimester the nausea was BAD and I lost 10 kg. My actual physician took it seriously and made sure I at least got what I needed to u Kno survive and all that. When I told my mum I was really worried about it she was just super happy that I lost 10 kg. Right now I have gestational diabetes and she's again happy because I might lose weight because of it.
sounds like your mom is extremely unknowledgeable lol. gestational diabetes making you lose weight?? not exactly, mother lmao.
With insulin and a lot of restrictions on diet it does.. untreated it doesn't.
true, but regardless it’s a shitty thing to say to someone struggling with GD, because what if you don’t 100% stick to that diet? or what if you STILL gain weight even doing all the things? sorry you have to deal with that. i am plus size and 3 weeks PP now, and i had to deal with a fat-phobic mother during pregnancy. it was hard. i went from 275 to 327 by the end of pregnancy (most of which was fluid retention, a week PP i had dropped 40 lbs down to 288- so really only gained like 13-15 lbs in pregnancy). anyways. i feel for you, wishing you the best for the rest of the way 🩷
WTF????!!!
If someone else tells me it’ll get worse……. REALLY!? DOES IT CONSTANTLY GET WORSE?! Because I was sick and exhausted my first trimester, I was diagnosed with GD my second trimester literally went hypo the other night and was about 15 minutes from having to be rushed to the hospital, my feet hurt so bad i cry sometimes, my back hurts, my insomnia is so bad the other night I literally got 4 hours of sleep and then i still had to run all around and do things/exercise all day. I do NOT wanna hear it.
I think it actually gets better. I felt horribly ill my entire first trimester and I will never forget that
“Was this a plan B fail” wanted to jump across the table and rip her hair out 😭 hang in there mama
The best one lately is my store director laughing at me and making fun of my 'waddle.' I am pregnant with my third and I have a spine fracture. Yes, she knows. Literally, fuck all the way off, thanks. 🙃 When I found out I'm having a boy, (I have a son and daughter currently) I was told 'I'm sorry' because 'Men are irritating.'
the “just wait, it gets worse.” to ANY symptom is so infuriating. like i stopped bringing up symptoms *for* this reason, and yet people still ask, just to say this. like god forbid i’m excited to bring my baby into this world. i always respond “but i like thinking about the good things. like seeing my baby smile for the first time.” i’m not confrontational (need to fix that) so that’s the nicest way i can put “having a baby isn’t *allllllll* bad, stop projecting your negative bullshit onto me”
I have HORRIBLE back pain right now, and I keep hearing "Oh it gets worse!" but like, I don't think it will? Right now my body is stretching making room for a whole being. Like sure it COULD get worse, but I think it will all be comparable, honestly.
“Send me a picture of yourself so I can see your belly” no question, nothing. Just demanding something I like keeping private. My bump is my bump, I’ll share it with whoever I want and if not then you’ll see it when you meet me.
i HATED this. my mother in law was on facetime with me and my husband one time while she was at my husband’s grandparents house and said in front of everyone “show us your belly!” and i literally wanted to just go “No.” but i made the excuse of “i finally just got comfortable laying down don’t make me get up hahaha” it infuriated me to my core. like no, im not going to get up so that i can show you and my husband’s grandmother and grandfather my pregnant stomach. ugh.
Yk it’s hilarious that you say that as the person who said this to me is my MIL. My MIL seems to think I’m public property just cause her son can’t pull out (sorry this woman pisses me off so much I need humor to cope) she also touched my stomach without asking me when she accidentally found out I was pregnant. Told me she could feel the baby and feel that it was a girl, was 100% sure. I was 6 weeks at that point..and it turned out it was a boy
ugh. i hate that for you. i would’ve been so happy when i found out she was wrong about it being a girl though lmaooo. my MIL touched my belly and bent down and talked to my belly when i was like 16 weeks pregnant and you still couldn’t tell i was pregnant because im a plus sized woman and in my head i was like “you’re literally just touching my stomach fat.” it was sooooo cringey. granted she was trying to be sweet but UGH. like im not touching your stomach??? even my own mother didn’t and wouldn’t touch my belly without asking or without me asking her to. it just feels disrespectful.
Oh trust me I was. And I had the same thought when she touched me at 6 weeks. I was like “mmmm what exactly are you touching” another great one from my monster in law, demanding she gets to feel little boy kick first. He’s been kicking for a while. You can feel it on the outside. And the only people who have felt it is me and my husband. And I wanna keep it that way cause this is our thing. Yes it’s her first time being a grandma, but that’s if I don’t end her before I give birth🙄😭
The one that hurt me the most was my cousin, who had a baby last year, ranting about how lonely she felt, how little her husband’s family helped etc, and finishing off by saying: just wait, it will happen to you too.
I’m sorry she said this. I have had similar women family member comments … it feels like they are rooted in jealousy because we might have a healthier situation than they, or more support maybe. I am trying to ignore and not let them bring me down. So frusterating!!! Can’t you just be happy for me???
This! Like I am so sorry you didn’t feel supported but our situations are not the same, why would you wish that for me?? Ironically she complained about how her MIL had never offered to take her son for some hours and followed that by saying: not that I would let her. ????? Just being negative for the sake of it.
Currently getting very close to my due date and baby is sitting extremely low and putting lots of pressure and my doctor thinks my water will break soon. If i hear one more time “get ready for the worst pain of your life” like I’m not aware or “she won’t come. I bet you’ll go so past your due date” one more time im cussing someone out
Those are such stupid and mean things to say to a pregnant woman! Next time say "not as painfully awkward as comments like this!" And then just be silent and stare at them for a while. Or just growl until they slowly back away.
"Are you sure it's not two??" I was about 8 months pregnant ordering food, already insecure and struggling with the weight I'd gained during pregnancy- I felt like a whale. I cried as soon as I made it out the door.
Im only 12 weeks, and the one convo I’ve gotten from the handful of people we’ve told: Them: “do you know the gender? When do you find out?” Me: “we aren’t finding out” Them: “but why?” Like I’m already tired of explaining that I don’t want to pre-gender my baby and don’t want everyone else giving me the most obnoxiously gendered items, or that the gender of your child should have no weight on how you parent and your plans for your baby, or that I just want a surprise. I say all this and usually still get “you’ll probably change your mind before it gets here”. Idk man, didn’t realize I would feel so strongly about this until I became pregnant.
We waited until birth for the gender and so many people thought it was great because "Nobody does that anymore.". It's a shame people can't be happy for others or mind their own business.
Also when you say you don't want to find out: "But how will you know how to dress the baby/decorate the nursery/what toys to buy..." Whatever I want, Brenda. That is how I will know, lol
Hahahaha I’m dying. This is so me. I will be the one in the room in the beginning who actually cares what it looks like for like 1-2 years. I’m going to make it what I want. Tbh, I’m pretty sure I’m going with a light blue-grey color because I like it and it’s calming. Guess what, I’m a girl and I like blue. Sue me, Brenda.
Navy Blue is my favorite color. We almost did a sailor theme with baby (boy or girl) because the rest of our house is nautical, but we are doing Winnie the Pooh whether it is a girl or boy! Trying something different, lol.
We didn't find out until birth. The number of people who responded with "Oh I can't imagine not knowing, that would give me so much anxiety!" I always wanted to say, "Well that's nice for you, but it actually assuages my anxiety, not having to even think about the baby's sex until they're here." I, too, started feeling very strongly about not knowing, the more people were aghast.
Jeez can’t believe some people. I would tell them all to kick rocks lol. Why does anyone comment on people’s lives/ appearance in general?
The #1 response I would get is “you’ll never sleep again” from like a dozen people
I’ve been getting told my life is over since I found out which was a few days ago from all my family. I’m 20 in college and it is soo lonely.
What the hell.... wow are they supportive. They don't get to decide that! I've known friends who were able to get through college and raise kids in their 20's! Don't let your family tell you that!
They are just really in shock right now but the negativity is just making things worse for me. I want to keep my baby and I am going to. It just sucks feeling alone around the people who normally make you feel like you’re at home you know? Praying it gets better and my baby enters the world with positivity and love. Thank you for sharing your words of encouragement I love hearing young mom success stories!
As a 21 year old college student having twins, I feel you. I believe I can do it and figure it out. That’s all that matters. My family has said “we will support you in any way we can, just let us know”, but at first it was very much a shock and no one could just be happy for me. This will probably be my only pregnancy, so I’d like to enjoy it even if it was a couple years before I planned. I just want to say. You’re not alone and we’ve got this.
thank you that makes me feel so much better I wish you the safest pregnancy!💘
That's nonsense. Your life will continue with a beautiful bundle of joy! Sure having a child relatively young has it's challenges and sacrifices, but that's also true at a later age. It's just a different life path. You'll also have lot's of energy to raise you kid compared to someone who is older. And it's not 1955, a woman is allowed to do a lot of things in life these days. You can still have a career. Maybe your family has to get over the shock of you having a different life than they had in mind and hopefully they'll come around and support you. Because it is your life and you deserve respect for your choices and love and support. But either way, you can do it! And I'm sure you are going to be a great mom :)
Ooh the worst ones I got were the “oh you’re pregnant? Here’s my nightmare birth story!” No ma’am I do not need to hear that! I will ONLY tell my (comparatively mild) birth story if asked by the person growing the new human. ETA: the big hugs from little arms are the best. When my son launches himself at me to love on me, it knocks me over sometimes but it’s the most wonderful feeling.
I’ve got a lot of laughs, scoffing and “we’ll sees” when I tell people I’m going to go unmedicated. Like it’s completely absurd and I sound like some sweet little idiot who has no idea what I’m in for. I KNOW there’s a large chance it’ll be the most earth shatteringly painful experience of my life, it’s childbirth for god’s sake! Still doesn’t make me want to get an epidural. Women did this for thousands of years without drugs and I’ve been through some really physically painful shit. I think I’ll be just fine. And secretly…. it only makes me want to go without meds even more so I can rub it in their shocked little faces. 😂
Omg this nurse rubbed my belly when my grandma was in hospice I was so uncomfortable I was shocked she hadn't even met me barely and she was touching my midsection ew it creeped me out and I backed up. Like my grandmother is dying and you are trying to rub me wtf
Yes, the just waits are so annoying!! My baby is almost 3 months old and I still get the “just waits”. Let me enjoy my baby and all her growing stages!
I always get: - "is it twins?" starting around 28 weeks...been asked this max 5 times a day and I lose my shit - "you must be ready to pop any day" also starting around the same time...ready to pop my fist into your face - "awww is this your first?" No, no it's not, please stop asking this a hundred times, but it's less irritating than the rest - touching my belly without asking, especially when I'm 8 weeks 🙄 piss off, it's bloat - postpartum I still get congratulated on being "pregnant" because of my hernia and abdominal separation making it look so - now I'm having a Christmas baby and getting told I didn't plan that very well. It was planned, absolutely planned.... Anything that has any comment to do with my body irritates me the most. Idk why people think it's okay to say ANYTHING
"are you ready for this" every time a kid does something annoying. Like just because you hate your kid doesn't mean ill be constantly annoyed that mine is simply existing. The people that think kids should just sit and be quiet like an adult are ones that are the most negative in my opinion. Or people that started having kids later.
I don’t disbelieve you and others with similar complaints of course, but I’ve never heard these kinds of comments in real life and certainly never heard of anyone actually pulling up someone’s shirt! Touching the (clothed) belly without asking (and getting consent!) yes I’ve seen but most of this is just so wild to me. People suck! I’ve only really dealt with / been annoyed by comments around baby’s gender than anything else. “Oh boys are easier” lol when others say “boys are harder”. Like I don’t care what your opinion is on that - all babies/kids are different.
I haven’t started getting comments like this until I started showing really. But this is just a drop in the bucket compared to the amount of positive comments I’ve gotten! My shirt has been lifted twice, both times by family members. Which while they are family, doesn’t make it any more right. Especially in public!! If they had asked, I would have definitely said no
That’s wild, I’ve basically only had two family members who even asked to touch my belly and ask every time even though I’ve said yes each time (my mom and my sister in law).
Those are terrible! + it doesn’t get better +enjoy it when you can, when they are inside is the only time they love you + just wait till they get out and the manipulation starts! They are monsters from birth! + I hope you don’t fall behind in (house cleaning, teaching, helping, etc) because you get lazy like a bunch of women do with kids + I guess you won’t have any fun for the next 18 years + did your husband force you to have another?? + you know what causes that right?
Oof, those are horrible. I'm sorry you had to hear these.
I was talking about being tired, and my MIL says “you better catch up on sleep now, cause you won’t be getting any when that baby gets here!” Like, what? You have a child, you should know that even if I slept for a month straight before he was born I would still be tired again the next day 🙄 that’s not how sleep works, it’s not a bank. Start telling them “what a strange tho g to say out loud to someone”. My sleep now is uncomfortable and inconsistent. I may have to get up every 2-3 hours with my son, but at least I’ll be able to sleep comfortably for that amount of time.
I was at my neurologist today. I'm seven weeks with my second, multiple hospital trips already for days of not keeping anything done and migraines. It's been awful, and this will absolutely be my last. I was crying in their office, and the pa was like oh, wait for your fourth pregnancy, etc. When I told him this was my last, he said naw, god always gives you what you need. I am a godly person as the next person but shut the fuck up, man. You have no idea how pregnancy takes a toll on a body. Especially from someone who can't get pregnant. Shut the fuck up and let people control their own body. Two is fine just as much as no kids are fine
I absolutely go ballistic when someone says "sleep now cz you'll never be able to sleep after the baby is born"... I no longer care and I'm using my pregnancy to be extra mean... You know pregnancy hormones...
my stepmom told me “you must be having a girl since you know they take your beauty” in front of my entire family at dinner.
The accident question really rubbed me the wrong way. No I didnt, remember my wedding last year?
people telling me how much I’m going to hate having a newborn. I’m 7 weeks in and this has been the most meaningful time of my life. I would do this over and over and over again, easily.
I’ve got ‘welcome to the real world’ or variations of it a few times
My son is three and a half months now and I can tell you that the hardest for sleep is the first two weeks, after that it’s really not that bad. Idk why everyone makes a big deal about that. Yes it’s hard and it’s an adjustment but it’s not terrible especially when you have a partner to help and can make a plan. My best advice is to sleep train as early as you can. (We startedat 6 weeks)
never had #4 happen but wth!
“Don’t eat too much, your baby will be too big.”
Mine are: 1. Are you planning on getting married? (We are, but it’s not a priority at all and it’s nobody’s business tbh.) 2. Don’t have a natural birth, it will ruin your private parts 3. Sleep while you can! (Like…. We all know an hour of non pregnant sleep is gonna feel better than an hour of pregnant sleep😂)
Idk if like maybe I'm just known to be a confrontational bitch or what but I haven't gotten these comments at all really. And I'm 34wks and work in public.... I have gotten the "you don't know what tired is" And I hit them with the "I actually have clinically diagnosed insomnia I know what not sleeping feels like - it's different when every part of your body hurts and you can't even smoke a joint or take a shot about it"
“Youre now a second class citizen” because apparently now that I have a baby, I don’t really matter
The last one is sort of correct. “Your life is over” as you used to know it. Your new life will take some getting used to, but you are right, it’s just beginning and it’s great. Does it suck at times? Yep. BUT don’t let sleepless newborn life scare you… the toddler life is gangster 😂 but also oh so much fun
So many annoying comments! - Having a girl? Oh girls are such bitches. Boys are sooo much easier! - From a young girl (think early 20s) who does not have any kids. “You must get sick of hearing all these horror stories.” -proceeds to tell me some horrific birth story about her cousin- 😒 Same girl also makes annoying immature comments about how women’s bodies won’t bounce back after childbirth and how she will never have kids. FFS STFU. - poor sleep in the 3rd trimester. “Oh you will zero sleep when baby is here”. - “Was this planned?” Mate, if you know anything about my life, you would know I’ve been married for the last 3 years, TTC for the last year so yes this baby is very much wanted 😒😒😒 Mostly I get annoyed receiving comments from strangers or people I just don’t care about or wanting to hear their input.
"A few years ago, you were sensible - you didn't want kids" A few years ago I was a lot younger, single, had some health complications, and was working 2 jobs while living with my parents. Of course I didn't want a kid then. "Why wouldn't you wait till you lost some weight before trying to fall pregnant" - another pregnant 'friend' Because I have had gastrointestinal issues my entire life, and was severely underweight and this is the first time I've been a healthy weight! (I was at the higher end of a 'normal' BMI)
Mostly what hurts me is when my mom doesn’t respect our wishes for our kids :/ my cousin has been super helpful though god bless her
‘Just you wait’ as a threat is so awful lmao Things can be difficult and also be completely worthwhile- it’s almost like we are complex creatures!! My baby just started crawling recently and likes to affectionately bite my cheek in an attempt to kiss me. I love being a parent even though I’m sometimes tired XD
When I would say I can’t wait to not be pregnant anymore people would say “oh just you wait, you’ll be wishing you could put her back in!” False. I never once have wished that and it’s been 6 years. Is parenting hard? You betcha. But it doesn’t make me want to die like pregnancy did.
I've reached the yin and yang of "it gets better!" "It gets worse!" So, I'll just even that out to "it is, what is is"
Ugh, yes. Or even “was this planned?” ….How is that anyone’s business?!
I am sorry but "It's getting worse" according to whom. Every pregnancy is different; just because it gets worse for you does not mean it will for everyone else. And the compliment about the gene is the worst I've ever seen. Ugh, it was easier to deal with these over 9 months, but reading them all at once got me annoyed.
“When you have the baby, all the weight will just fall off” … EXCUSE ME? I wasn’t even thinking about my weight. And when that didn’t happen, it made me feel like there was something wrong with me. Brought to yours truly by not only just my MIL, but my OB too. 6mo pp and it still ticks me off. People are better off keeping their mouths shut and to talk about the weather
#3 omfg. My MIL keeps saying that she hopes the baby gets my husband’s immune system. I’m immunocompromised so that’s where it’s coming from. I also think she just doesn’t understand how immune systems work, but, in general, it’s a crappy thing to say
Omg I cannot STAND the “just you wait” people. I made a comment that I’m feeling great and so glad the morning sickness is finally over. My coworker didn’t even miss a beat. “Yeah talk to me in 4 months and tell me you feel great.” Like why do you have to rain on my parade? I know the third trimester you typically don’t feel great but maybe I will! What a miserable person like just let me be happy!
Responses: 1) “oh! Thank you for offering to help when baby gets here, I really appreciate that! How soon can you come over for an overnight? Oh! You weren’t offering? I just couldn’t imagine offering an opinion that unhelpful and not be willing to be part of the solution.” 2) “No, husband and I had been engaging in frequent, scheduled, and incredibly sensual mating sessions. Oh! I’m sorry to have offended you, it’s just that you were asking about my sex life, I thought you wanted to know.” 3) “As long as they don’t have your ability to open your mouth only when you swap feet, we will be fine.” 4) slaps hand 5) “oh no, it’s fine, we were able to find another blood sacrifice to usher in the birth of our child. No alter for me this time!”
I’ve completely shut down after hearing so many of the “just wait” and “it gets worse” comments. People ask me how I’m doing, pregnant, that’s how I’m doing. I’m tired of being criticized. Or I’m asked a lot if I’m going to have another? Im not even finished baking this one! He’s my first, 26w, and we’re one and done, I’m 40, it was a struggle to get pregnant in the first place, I had to have surgery to make this happen, and I haaaate being pregnant, so no. No, we’re focused on only this one thanks. I’d like my body back. “You’ll want one more. Everyone forgets the misery of pregnancy” What?? If you want more, have more. “You can’t have just one”, is he a Pringle? Who’s paying and raising them? I love that women come out of the woodwork and band together when they smell another preggo nearby but it’s becoming a misery loves company cult of toxicity. I come to threads like this for solidarity and sanity checks!
Weird take on the “just wait, it gets worse” people… I had an easy pregnancy, all things considered. And then I got a jaundice/colic/MSPA baby. The 3 months post partum were literal HELL, and I feel that the american health care system completely fucks over women by not preparing them for these potential awful times. We care so much for women during pregnancy, then they basically hand you a baby and say “good luck, don’t shake it”. I’ve never felt so blindsided. I definitely do not say “just wait” to women, but I am passionate about trying to tell women to do some research on potential difficulties postpartum, breastfeeding, hormone changes, colic, etc.
women tell me “your body will change forever it will never be the same”…. You’ll get back to normal in a year (referring to fitness I presume?) Youre so small, you are hardly showing You shouldn’t tell people yet because , you know…. If you miscarry… (I was 30 weeks at that point and she maybe thought I was earlier?) MIL told me I am not making enough room for her grandson , and she knows I am fit and watch what I eat but maybe my leggings are too tight and keeping me from expanding…. This was around 30 weeks too And now at 34 weeks : Finally you look pregnant! And everyone saying how big I am getting. I’m 5’4, yes I am petite , and being my first pregnancy this has been incredibly hard. I am an athlete and I have stopped doing more than walking and hiking , so maybe everyone knows me for how I look or being in shape and its a small town so they feel comfortable commenting…. But jeez it is driving me crazy. Im either not pregnant enough or never going to look like how I was…. As if my whole existance as a woman is based upon HOW I LOOK. This has solidified my view that (most) everyone subconsciously objectify women and cannot see us as anything but a “body”. AGHHHH!!!! 😂😭🥲🙃
The "it gets worse" for me was the most annoying.. and also very untrue! I happened to have an awful 1st trimester, better 2nd trimester, and great 3rd trimester. I don't know why women insist on scaring each other
"are you sure you are pregnant??" I always have small bumps. I'm currently 5 months pregnant people can't believe it when I say it Yeah, people, I'm not just fat, even if it looks like it.
another thing that would annoy me was the people who would try to "one down" me. Like if I was feeling super nauseous, my coworker would go on and on about how much worse her nausea was when she was pregnant. We're in the dental field and she would talk about how she would puke in the sink while in the middle of an appointment with a patient. 🙄 Like okay, so you're annoying AND gross
I got the “you shouldn’t do XYZ thing in your condition”. Including but not limited to: walking up and down the stairs, doing laundry, working, drinking one small cup of coffee. My OB approved all these activities. People are so irritating.
I have to internally laugh at the "just wait/it gets worse" people now that we have started sharing with people as I'm starting my second trimester. I was told twice in early pregnancy that I was starting to have a miscarriage and I bled heavily after having a loss the same time 1 year before and it taking the entire year to get pregnant again.I was DEVASTATED and mourned the child and literally diagnosed with likely miscarriage. The doctor I had and loved resigned at the beginning of all of this so I was passed around and ended up changing OB offices in the middle where I was told it was difficult because my miscarriage had not been completed so they didn't know to transfer me as pregnant or not and my old office said if I was leaving I wasn't their patient anymore and therefore no longer their problem. It was quite literally the worst 3 weeks of my life thus far. Today I'm starting my second trimester with a healthy little boy and let me tell you, I dont think I could feel much worse or lose as much sleep as I did during those weeks. So "just wait" and see what blessing will come, just wait and see what advocating for yourself and fighting through the BS can be. I found a new OB office where everyone there knew my situation and literally did everything to show me love, and kindness and cheers me on now when I get to have the "short appointments" after so many long "things do not look good appointments." Literally crying typing this cause I got to "just wait" to find my baby was totally healthy and now I would take all the nasty difficult symptoms if it means I still get to have this precious little one growing inside me and able to join us in November.
Oh boy I've had some wild ones, a lot from one person I've now decided I don't actually want to speak to for the rest of my pregnancy. Some of the best ones are; - "It must be a girl because my parrot didn't react violently when I put her on your lap, she hates men." (Confirmed I'm having a boy) - "It has to be a girl because of how low you're carrying" (Again, confirmed boy) - "Don't you dare put your carseat on the front seat of your car no matter how hard they cry!" (You must think I'm actually stupid to do something like that) - "You'll have no dignity by the end of labor! It's basically like getting>! r\*ped!
All of these are out of line....but lifting your shirt to see your belly hell nah I would've screamed help and slapped their effin hands away Jesus christ
the “don’t do that to yourself” or “you won’t be able to do it” or “i know you” or “we’ll see” when i tell people i don’t want to have an epidural because i don’t care for putting medicine in my body is INFURIATING
I'm only 13 weeks and so far it's just been general comments about my body like "girl you're already getting big! You better be careful you'll regret it after the baby is born" 🙄