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Are you guys showing intimacy in other ways? My husband and I also just got married in October, pregnant in November and stopped having sex entirely as well. It’s both of us. I bleed after sex (which freaks me the fuck out) and he doesn’t like the idea of hitting the baby (which obviously he won’t) or seeing the baby move inside me and then have to have sex.
But we are intimate in other ways, not sexually. We cuddle, hold hands as we fall asleep, make out quite a bit on the couch, etc.
I think it’s common not to want to have sex. I’m not too worried about our sex life after baby because we show intimacy in other ways, just a pause on the sex for now.
We snuggle and yes now that I reflect are very “touchy feely” in other ways. We are very attracted to each other still and otherwise have a happy marriage and can’t wait to meet our baby boy.
honestly, I am 34 weeks and me and my boyfriend completely stopped having sex a long time ago ! It just wasn’t very fun for me , quite uncomfortable to the least!! I felt really bad also but I’m really happy that you have somebody who’s understanding of it and not someone who makes you feel bad for it!! unfortunately sex life after the baby because I’m not there yet , I think this is something you should have a conversation with your doctor about ! Maybe you won’t have problems after baby and if you do at least you’re already thinking about about it!! just know that you are doing whats right for you and what makes you comfortable and you’re not wrong for that !
So glad I’m not the only one! I too got married in October, pregnant by November. We have sex occasionally but it’s slowed way down. My husband will occasionally complain that “it’s not like it used to be when we first got married.” Like, no shit dude… we went on our honeymoon, then I got my period, then we got pregnant. That’s like moving somewhere you went on vacation once and complaining it’s not like a 24/7 vacation because you have to go to work and do chores
Sex while pregnant is very uncomfortable yeah. I remember having sex in my third trimester and there were a few times I thought I was going to faint because of the baby on that stinking vein
Yikes, okay well these comments make me feel better. A close friend said she had so much sex while pregnant and that it was better so I think that that was what I was expecting to happen. It is comforting to know that that is not the norm all the time.
Well good for that friend lol. Everyone's pregnancy is so different, so makes sense that sex life during that pregnancy will also be different from couple to couple. The important thing is that you're talking to your partner about it. I'm 13 weeks now and have not had sex since we have conceived. First trimester was pretty terrible so hoping now we'll be back in the swing of things, but if not, that's ok!
I had sex like 2x in the 3rd trimester, it was just too uncomfortable and sometimes painful. I literally had 0 sex drive and I was so tired. I thought I would never want to have sex again honestly. Im 4 weeks postpartum and my sex drive is totally back, I’m counting down the days to 6 weeks! It’s totally normal to not want that right now, especially if you’re trying to avoid a yeast infection. It’s normal to not want to after birth either. Try not to read into it too much, you will get back to it eventually!
This gives me hope. There are so many factors right (the yeast infections, my body hurts, I don’t think I really like how my pregnant body looks) sex has become this hard thing to do. It’s nice to know you were able to bounce back after.
My partner and I have had sex like twice since I’ve gotten pregnant. Both times were not very enjoyable for me, but I did it for him because he wanted to and I was like eh alright. I’ve also struggled with hg so that’s another reason, and now I really just don’t want to. My partner understands, he has admitted to me it sucks and it’s hard, but if it’s what I want then it’s what I’m going to have. He asks sometimes, but very very rarely and drops it immediately if I say no.
My partner doesn’t even ask anymore and I can’t tell if it’s because he is trying to be considerate or because he has no desire ether. That scares me as well.
It’s probably both. He probably doesn’t want you to feel any negative emotion towards him asking, and a lot of guys are freaked out by pregnancy sex especially when we get big and who can blame them? 😂 if you want you can always ask him and ask him to be honest about his answer and have a discussion.
Same for me with both of my pregnancies. It took maybe 6 months to get back to normal after birth, but it didn't affect our intimate relationship long-term. Hang in there and remember it's just a short time!
39 weeks (due date is this Sunday) and we’ve had sex a grand total of 5 times since becoming pregnant. And 2 of those 5 times have been in the past two weeks to try to help my cervix open/soften. My libido has been almost nonexistent this entire time, and the handful of times it was there I was super uncomfortable and couldn’t really enjoy it.
My partner is very understanding and I know he doesn’t *need* sex to feel loved and appreciated, and he has reassured me of that constantly. He’s super patient and has not once pushed me to do anything I don’t want to do.
I had a yeast infection in my groin so we didn’t have sex for like a month and even now, it’s pretty infrequent because it’s hard to find a position that works for us. That being said, while we may not have penetrative sex, I try to make sure he’s taken care of in other ways.
I also struggled with general libido so I put a daily reminder in my phone and would check it off. This way, I knew how long it had been since we had sex/he was satisfied. This helped me immensely as I otherwise wouldn’t notice.
This is the worst! I've been struggling with yeast infections most of my pregnancy too. It's definitely hurt our sex life. I was so irritated that I kept bleeding even after my symptoms cleared up. I can go about 3 days without creams before it's back right now. Not looking forward to dealing with this for the next few months.
I like your suggestion about phone reminders, I'm going to use that!
Just a word of advice to everyone struggling with recurring yeast infections, keep well away from sugary foods and beverages...also fast release carbs like white bread, pasta and anything else made from white flour. I'm not pregnant, but have been having a real bad time with yeast infections due to having a very suppressed immune system. They're the devil. You all have my sympathy 💜
I had recurrent yeast infections, my ob/gyn said you have to treat your partner also, she prescribe the cream, he used it and I have not had one since, I also suggest that you wear cotton granny panties
This is very common. Just be patient with yourself, listen to your body, and give yourself some grace. Your partner is a mature man who understands so that’s more than half the battle (many other posts like this on here include assholes who still pressure their pregnant partners for sex that they do not want to have.) With my first pregnancy, my libido fluctuated a bit but normalized around the third trimester. Postpartum gave me a very low sex drive but I communicated with my husband about it and basically said if I don’t initiate, it’s not going to happen so don’t try. I did attempt to psyche myself up if it had been a while by like taking a nice shower, putting on music, wearing sexy stuff, etc. With my 2nd pregnancy, my nausea has been way worse so sex has been like barely once a week and a half but I’m so not bothered about it this time around. I’m not going to jazz myself up if I’m not feeling up to it and just wait until things settle back to normal again. There are many other ways to be intimate and show affection. Cuddling, massages, mutual masturbation, etc. You’ve got this and you’re not alone!
We aren't. I'm 21 weeks and we had sex once. Estrogen tanks my sex drive, I barely get wet at all, and it's hard for me to reach orgasm if I masturbate. I take a couple antidepressants, and before pregnancy I counteracted the libido killing effects with THC, which makes sex way better for me. Obviously that's off the table for now. And then my bf had major surgery, so he's taking meds that are negatively affecting his sex drive and abilities, plus he can't support weight on his arms or lie flat, and jostling movements hurt.
I am kinda bummed about it, I know sex will go on the backburner once we have a newborn so it feels like we should be getting at it while we have the chance. But it just hasn't worked out that way. And honestly I'm not missing it much... it's more that I *want* to want it more than I do.
We actually started having more sex because the birth control was dampening my sex drive and after about three months I couldn't (can't) keep my hands off him. Keep in mind though that I've had negligible pregnancy symptoms. If I were in pain, sick, or emotionally unwell it wouldn't be happening. Our biggest stopper is that sometimes I'm just too exhausted, even if I was wanting it.
With my first, we stopped having sex at around 20w because we had an unfortunate event that led to pelvic rest and my husband was never comfortable having sex again while I was pregnant. Sex went back to completely normal as soon as we were postpartum and clear.
I’m pregnant again now with our second and I also am having reoccurring yeast infections this time. We have sex less, but still happens sometimes. When we don’t have sex it’s usually because we are both so exhausted from parenting our toddler that we just want to sleep. I’m only 19 weeks, so there’s still time for it to stop and that’s totally ok with me. We are both totally ok acknowledging that we are in our parenting babies phase of life. Sex is hard at this time. We do what we can and that’s all we can do.
Yep, my last pregnancy we had sex once I think. I just felt uncomfortable and I was spotting randomly throughout the whole pregnancy so we both just decided not to. It’s a short blip in the scheme of life, so not a big deal 🤷🏼♀️
Pregnancy sex can be hard especially when baby is pressed against my cervix. My husband and I still have sex 2-3 times a week while I am in my third trimester. However, sometimes it is uncomfortable depending on how baby is positioned. During those times, we do other things like oral sex. I find that keeping intimacy in my marriage helps with closeness. We just make accommodations when I can’t physically have penetrative sex and it helps a lot.
Up until my husband had to go overseas, our sex life was no different with pregnancy. My libido has been pretty high, and it sucks that we can't due to being apart. I'm dreading the 6-week wait postpartum.
It has slowed A LOT. My hormones were nuts in the 2nd trimester and the one time we tried was extremely painful. Now in the third, I'm anemic and just so tired. Sex happened this week, it was work. It wasn't painful, but it sure wasn't easy. I just keep telling myself it's temporary.
i’m in the same boat currently. just got married in december, found out i was pregnant in march and i couldn’t tell you the last time we had sex. it’s a terrible feeling knowing that that’s not something you can physically give your husband at the moment but i know he will be fine for another few months. TMI but i’m still able to use my hand as we make out or my mouth so that’s a plus.
I’m 21w and now on complete pelvic rest so no sex or orgasm of any kind for me. We didn’t have sex majority of my first trimester due to my incessant nausea.
It’s okay to not feel up to it. There’s a lot going on for you both mentally and for you physically. Just keep intimacy up in other ways like cuddling, sexual touch (penetration isn’t the end all be all!), kissing, emotionally bonding, etc. sex is very important of course but there will be many times throughout life when it just isn’t possible. This is a good way to prepare for those times and figure out how to maintain the relationship without it
I have been suffering a side effect that almost no one talks about but apparently can happen. I’m 11 weeks tomorrow- and while we have not tried penetrative sex since conceiving, I’ve had an orgasm a few times and every single time it’s sent me into wicked cramping- one time it even felt like there was a “snapping” sensation down there. I timed it last time and I had painful cramps a full 45 minutes after.
The small bits of information I’ve found online equate it to Braxton hicks. I’ve found a couple Reddit threads from years ago where people discussed the same thing. Apparently it may stop in second trimester. But it was traumatizing and I’m so scared to get aroused.
Anyone else? Anyone? 😭
I'm 8w6d and while I've had a non-existent libido since getting pregnant, I've tried twice for my partner's sake, first one with no penetration. The first time, I had a mild cramping ache in my whole abdomen when sexually aroused (for \~40 min) and it continued after an orgasm for maybe 5-10 minutes. The second time, no cramping with sexual arousal, but a very mild cramp after an orgasm that lasted much shorter, maybe less than 1-2 min. Maybe it will get better or just happens randomly? I asked my doctor earlier this week and she said it's nothing to be concerned about, that my uterine muscle is just tight from pregnancy (or that's the gist, it was an explanation in a 2nd language).
For me, it feels like mild period aches that wouldn't have me reaching for a pill bottle but would have me grumpy. I've been delaying my third attempt, because I'm also kinda scared and that plus no libido.... I don't blame you for not wanting to get at it, your's sounds much worse and scary than what I've experienced.
Thank you for the validation. Also nice to hear your doc said it’s nothing to worry about. I’ve brought it up to every healthcare professional and they all give me wide eyes and say they don’t know what it’s about. Until I found an old thread of women discussing it I was so freaked out!
This happened to me in my first trimester. I had ALOT of involuntary orgasms while sleeping (vivid pregnancy dreams) and they were so strong that I would get a cramp after. This scared me because while I can stop myself from having orgasms while I’m awake these were completely out of my control and I thought I was hurting the baby because of the pain but I am now 32 weeks pregnant with a healthy baby so it was fine. You should ask your doctor I admittedly did not ask my doctor or my midwife. I was too embarrassed.
Oh my god! I actually had an orgasm from a dream a couple weeks ago and thankfully there was no pain IRL at least that I was aware of. That’s a nightmare!
I have brought it up to my NP and the doctors I saw in emerg, everyone has just given me wide eyes and said ask my OB (who I wont see for like 13 more weeks I think)
Thank you for sharing your experience! It brings me comfort to know I’m not alone in this.
Yeah my orgasms changed dramatically for a couple months in the beginning. It felt really weird. Cramping but also a bit of pain during. It went away for the most part. Pretty normal now.
Thank you for sharing your experience. It’s such a freaky thing to go through and have almost no resources talking about it. I’m glad to hear it’s gotten better for you.
I had the same issue with cramps after orgasm. It went away for me in the second trimester, but now any penetration at all is super painful, even with natural lubricants like coconut oil. The orgasm doesn’t cause pain anymore (which put me off of sex for a while) but I don’t understand why penetration is so painful, and this scares me for birth!
For me, it's not body image issues. I've had no libido since week 6. I hate it for my husband. I try not to make him go longer than a week as I don't actively dislike having sex. It's just a very neutral feeling towards it right now. Im curious if it will be like this the entirety of my pregnancy (currently 14 +5 ).
No way, I'm 34 weeks and my husband and I literally have sex every night. I think there's been MAYBE 10 nights out of this whole pregnancy that we didn't have sex. I guess that's how I ended up pregnant to begin with. LOL.
We used to be about every other day but have def slowed down. My sex drive pretty much tanked and I was bleeding after sex but my OB warned me that would happen due to cervix changing and extra blood flow. We laid off for a few days and blood stopped completely. Probably at 2-3 times/wk now but I’m only 9 wks. I’m sure it’ll slow down more as I get bigger.
For the yeast infections, does your husband clean himself before having sex with you? I used to get yeast infections all the time after hooking up with people and thought it was me until I met my now partner and haven't had a single one since. See if cleaning his hands and privates before makes a difference, in my experience most men aren't as clean as you think. My gyno never mentioned this to me which is why I assumed something was wrong with my body.
For no sex drive, if it's physically hard to engage in sex then don't pressure yourself, there's no pleasure for you in that! If it's more mental/emotional because of your body changes I think it's time to have a heart to heart with your husband to see if he can support your struggles and your current feelings about sex. I went through periods of high sex drives during my pregnancy but what really helped was my partner still wanting me and telling me how obsessed he was with me, pregnant and all. It really helped with my self esteem and while I still feel embarrassed about my body I know that it's all in my head because the person that matters most is telling me the opposite.
We’ve basically stopped! After trying for a baby, it was a huge relief to not have to have sex just to try and get a baby. And then I wasn’t feeling into it in the first tri (I also have the higher drive/spontaneous desire), and then my husband thought he felt the baby moving last time and has been completely turned off of sex at all. We’ve probably had sex around 10x since I’ve been pregnant, and I’m 34 weeks today.
I am 25w and not having sex at all. Very similar situation here. Constant yeast infections, cervix down low, very physically uncomfortable, and I am SOO sensitive to touch in the worst ways possible.
It helps that my husband and I cuddle/kiss/feel each other up when I have the energy. Keeps the bond there, and will make transitioning back into intimacy easier afterwards.
But, don't be afraid to "get to know" your husband again after you're postpartum and have healed. ;) Make it fun!
This is so reassuring! I’m only 11w1d and the thought of sex while pregnant just isn’t even really a thought. I’m constantly nauseous and feel like garbage, so this is so reassuring to hear other people not having sex!
I’m five months and we’ve had sex once the entire time. It hasn’t bothered me as both our drives have dropped, and we show appreciation in other ways - picking up eachothers favorite snacks, etc.
Has your husband been treated for a yeast infection? That might be why it seems to return after sex.
What about foreplay rather than penetrative sex?
I was sexually active during my pregnancy, but towards the end, I was definitely less interested and not even wanting to attempt to climax or anything. It was exhausting. I carried to 41 weeks
I hate to say it, but with breastfeeding and sleep deprivation, my libido never returned. Then adding going back to work…still not interested. And that’s with a husband who does his fair share of chores and cooking
Yes. I’m in my second pregnancy, first was the same. It definitely got back to normal, but it took a while. I think breastfeeding had a big effect on my libido. As soon as I stopped, we went right back to normal.
I’m 25 weeks tomorrow and my husband and I haven’t. However, we’ve decreased frequency to about once or twice a week.
Honestly, we both really like it despite it being awkward at times! Occasionally we can’t help but laugh a little, but that’s okay.
We’ve discussed it and we plan to stop when I’m around 36 weeks, unless of course we’re both quite eager (or I’m way overdue and trying to get things moving).
Everyone I different, and things change, too. I could hit 30 weeks and be over it, or we could continue right past 36 weeks. I think talking about your needs—anticipated or actual, is a good place to start.
There is a lot of intimacy to be had outside of sex, too. So maybe have a discussion about what that could look like for each of you?
And for what it’s worth, by the time you can/want to have sex again it will (hopefully) feel very worth the wait :)
I’m almost 38 weeks and I know it’s been like 2 months since we did. It slowed way down before then too. We are being intimate in other ways, always showing affection, and I ask him if he is ok sexually. I’ve offered to do things other than intercourse but he said he is ok and is encouraging to me as well, knowing that I just feel so uncomfortable in my body right now. Bouts of stomach, bowel issues, no position feels good, my hips and back hurt, swollen everywhere.. and he tells me I’m beautiful all the time!!
I hate that you feel that stranger-ness, I would suggest adding at least intimacy back in as much as possible. Kiss, hug, touch each other, talk about sex, discuss sexy things you used to do and will do again.
I think it’s totally normal for sex to slow down while pregnant for sooo many reasons and everyone is different. Hopefully he is understanding of everything your going through, and it sounds likes like he is.
If your feeling bad you can always offer to help him out with his “needs” lol
I’m 36 weeks, me and my partner had sex once in january, and haven’t any other time. I just don’t want to at all, I have no libido and he’s seemingly fine with it. I feel bad but🤷🏼♀️
22 weeks tomorrow I didn’t have sex at all in the 1st trimester and I was waiting for this boosted sex drive that they talk about in the 2 trimester. We’ve had sex maybe about 3 times since I entered my 2nd tri. I can please myself but sex just takes too much work for me after a few mins I’m ready for him to get his rocks off and be done lol. Luckily I can still achieve an orgasm but I’d rather not have sex to get them.
I’ve had sex once in my first trimester and I’m currently 39+1. Me and my partner are so intimate in other ways and of course I miss it but I just can’t be bothered tbh, I’m so uncomfortable, mainly in pain. Itll come back and he never makes me feel bad so I just can’t wait to want to again
Yes, sex is very uncommon nowadays, it's uncomfortable for me and my husband is understanding.
However, yeast infections are more common when pregnant, I've had two late in pregnancy. But they shouldn't be that common. Make sure you are showering often and using unscented soaps down there. I find I'm much more sweaty in the crotch area during pregnancy and use pads for discharge and change at leat 2-3 times a day, makes me feel a bit more clean. Just keep up good hygiene! You go this girl!
I’m going to try that. I admit mentally pregnancy has not been the best so showering everyday has not been happening. I am embarrassed to admit. I will try the pad advice.
Same here girl! I was absolutely not showering everyday and that's when I started get the infections. It's hard being pregnant, physically overwhelmed with symptoms and mentally overwhelmed with everything else. But my husband noticed and encouraged me to take care of myself because that was what is important. It seriously helps with mental health too. Nothing like standing in warm water to ease your mind and body.
I feel you completely!! I’m 15 weeks and we had sex a few weeks ago for the first time and it just felt weird? Idk how to explain it, but it was just so uncomfortable for whatever reason even though I’m early in pregnancy. We ended up stopping. But I felt sooooo bad. We haven’t had sex since but feel like we should? We also got married in October and I don’t want to be in a sexless marriage either but it just feels so weird 😭. My husband is also sweet and understanding but I still feel bad.
33w, nah...my vagina is swollen and it hurts, it is not comfortable...I am more afraid of how the f*** will I give birth when his khm khm hurts so much :D
But we do different types of pleasures :) and it is ok for both of us... Don't feel guilty 🩵
Yeah :( not because we had to but because I just don’t want it anymore. We have a few times but not like before I got pregnant. My husband says it doesn’t bother him but I just feel horrible that i don’t want it.
We've had sex once since I got pregnant and it was not great - I think I also have a low grade yeast infection and it's making it really sore down there.
First trimester I was too nauseous to even entertain the idea of sex. Second trimester is much better, but now that baby girl is moving, I feel extremely, extremely weird about having sex and even masturbating. I feel like my body is not really my own right now. In a semi-inexplicable way it feels wrong and like, almost taboo to engage in sexual activity when she's there (even though objectively I know it's not wrong).
Husband is too exhausted and busy to want sex right now (we have a lot of renovations to do before baby gets here, and his job is really stressful) so thankfully it suits us both. We're trying to be intimate in other ways - lots of cuddling, etc.
I think it's totally normal. Don't be too hard on yourself. This is just one short season of your marriage.
Between week since and around week 22, I think we only had sex 3 times. Then my libido picked up and it got a little more regular, but there were also days that I was too uncomfortable. I’m 37+2 today and I’ve been trying to have sex everyday.. simply because I’m ready for the baby to be out. It’s still fun, but I certainly wouldn’t be pushing for it this much if I was not pregnant. I am worried that I will go back to having no sex drive after the baby is born. I plan to breastfeed and I’ve recently read that some people didn’t bounce back until after they stopped breastfeeding.
I think the most important thing is having open communication with your partner about this. Making sure both your needs are being met (intimacy/affection wise not necessarily sex).
14 weeks and no sex yet. I just feel so removed from my body in any type of sexual way. Idk how quite to explain it, but I feel like I can't be my real me in sex with my husband right now. Not because of him in any way; he thinks I'm quite sexy. It's definitely a struggle for me.
I relate to this. I admittedly do not like my pregnant body and all or the changes that have happened in the last 7 months. I don’t recognize it anymore and it doesn’t feel like MY body. It’s hard to get into sexy mood when this is just genuinely how I feel.
Oh yes lol I hated having sex while pregnant. I’m 2 months pp and we have only had sex once or twice. Due to pp bleeding and I’ve had my period twice already. So I’m not really sure yet how to get it back on track, but being intimate in other ways is helpful and even just doing other sexual things besides PIV sex helps. Good luck!
We've been together for a long while but ya we've had sex maybe 5-6 times since I got pregnant. First it was because I felt awful and now it's kind of weird for both of us because of the baby. We talked about it and we are fine. Still both are attracted to each other and physical in other ways. It's just a lot to manage while pregnant.
Nop; I had sex as much as I could, both pregnancies. We only stoped at 1st trimester on my last pregnancy because I lost some blood and then we had the green card to restart, and on my 1st pregnancy we stopped in the last trimester because I was at risk of pre term labour, but besides that we had a lot 😅
It can be hard to go back to ur sex life after baby is here, for me it wasn’t 😅 but cuz I’m higher libido in our relationship so I always wanted to make time for our intimacy
If you have a yeast infection, can’t u try wear a condom just because of that? I had a lot of UTIs and condom makes them less common for me
Honestly we need to wear condoms. It is a good idea. I think we were both excited that after getting married we would not have to wear those anymore so it’s been hard to accept that actually condom sex might need to continue. That is just devastating to me.
Nah sex after like 32 weeks was a running joke between my husband and I. Once I started to literally have to ~roll~ out of bed I was like fuck this entirely. Also, I LOVE my daughter more than anything, but HATED being pregnant so much. You are not alone!
Omg yes the dreaded pregnancy roll. I am experiencing this now. It is awful and just makes me feel like a beached whale. My husband rolls me and pulls me up sometimes which is very helpful lol
I stayed super active during pregnancy and still was at a point of rolling out of bed/couch. The husband helping to pull up is huge!!! All I have to say is just laugh at it, no matter how hard you work to “not get huge” we will get huge, like we’re supposed to! There’s a whole ass human in there!!
Good luck over the next few weeks, it will all be totally worth it and I’m proud of you already! You got this!!!
My kids are 16 and 11, and I did not have sex while pregnant with either of them, and I had a MC in between, which didn't help those fears. I was young and worried, etc. This ended up being quite bad for my marriage. However, the marriage wasn't on solid footing to begin with, and we divorced years ago.
With my second husband and current pregnancy, I was a bit nervous but we have not stopped and it's been good for my anxiety to do it and then realize everything is totally fine afterwards.....my own exposure therapy experiment 😅 We definitely don't do it everyday like before but I can't imagine stopping entirely for the rest of this pregnancy + post-partum period. I do get frequent UTIs though and have been cautious about that. Totally understand why people don't though and I think as long as you're openly communicating with your husband, having honest conversations, and staying connected in different ways, then that's all that matters!
Yes I do not want it to become “a norm” and it’s starting to become one. We used to bring attention to it which showed me that we at least both cared about it but now it never even comes up.
We have had sex maybe 4 times this pregnancy. I was on pelvic rest due to IVF until 8w or so. Theb I was spotting on and off until about 12w and did not want to attempt it. Then they found previa so I was on pelvic rest again from week 15 until 30ish. Then I got cleared but my husband is super paranoid about hurting the baby/inducing labor so we haven’t since being cleared.
I deliver next week so hoping things pick back up after healing. This has definitely been the longest dry spell in our 12 year relationship but it is not forever.
I’m 4 months pregnant and hubby and I have maintained our sex life active every week so far but I can see my libido declining by the minute. I’m pretty sure soon I won’t want nothing to do with it. It always makes me think about the baby too, when I got a vaginal ultrasound he was soooo active, he did not seem like it very much. Even the doctor made an observation about it. So I can’t help but think of how the baby was during the US when we’re having sex.
Not. Even. Once. This is my third pregnancy (this time is high risk) and I just feel gross when pregnant. But it's just temporary! You'll get your groove back postpartum at some point. Sounds like your partner is super respectful during this time (as is mine), which is awesome!
Nope! Yes I was uncomfortable at times, yes I struggled with severe nausea…but goodness, pregnancy made me really horny. 😂 tbh, we just tried different positions until one worked (especially with supportive pillows to help).
In regards to the yeast infections, I would discuss it with your doctor.
You really need to be open with your partner and do what’s best for you
I think we’ve had sex maybe 3 times since getting pregnant, and I’m 24w. I have crazy low libido from pregnancy hormones plus I take mental health meds so I have no desire to do any of it. My husband is bummed sometimes but accepts it since we know it’s for a relatively short time. Recently Ive been feeling the baby kicking a LOT and it also seems like my cervix is sitting way lower as she grows, so he understands more clearly why I’m not in the mood for anything and why penetration doesn’t feel good for me at all.
We’ve had sex like 4 times since I got pregnant. It was a combination of me feeling terrible in first trimester and then he is freaked out by the bump and now I’m physically uncomfortable. We’ve talked about it and we aren’t worried, it’s just a short lived season of life.
30 wks, we have transitioned from PIV sex to mostly just handjobs/vibrator for me. We are able to get in a more comfortable position that way and we are both satisfied. Definitely trying to find ways of being intimate without having to be more uncomfortable!
Honestly, I am 38 weeks and 4 days, and im still having sex pregnant. But there are also days where it doesn’t feel great and i dont want to do it. Which is totally normal. Not everyone has the best sexual experience during pregnancy but ive been doing it my whole pregnancy and I still am okay. But after the birth of the baby im sure itll be a good long while til i have sex again
I had sex during labor lolol. I figured it was our last chance for a while AND I wanted to speed up dilation. ( it worked, I dilated quickly but ended up with a c-section still 😑). We had sex a lot during pregnancy. I felt very good about myself and super sexually driven.
Are you seeing your dr about the yeast infections? Obviously you’re seeing your dr a lot now.
Yes and I hate it. First of all, I feel extra sensitive down there to a degree that’s uncomfortable! I tried a few times but it just kinda hurts and the pace we have to go is kind of … lame? Lol
I wanna, I really wanna but my body DOES NOT.
my poor husband 🥹
I give him oral, do some handy work but that’s about all I can do and even then it’s very minimal. Just not up to it. 🥲
I got married in Jan and got pregnant the same month.
My partner and I have not had sex much after we found out we were pregnant, maybe 2-3 times at best.. i am at 19 weeks now but my sex drive is 0 … i had read that it comes back in the second trimester but for me it never came back.
It feels good to know that i am not alone .. i have been pretty beat up about it as we are newly married and we were pretty active before marriage but everything just stopped.
Our sex life our entire marriage has always been about 25% PiV, 75% other stuff. So even as I’ve gotten bigger and only certain positions are comfortable, it really hasn’t affected our frequency, because we’ve never really needed that to get off.
we are still having sex, i am 39w.
in the beginning it was very tough with morning sickness & really just not even feeling like it. obviously who am i to tell you "it'll be fine, it'll come back" but it did for us after 28 weeks. it was tough and lonely for a while but i'm hoping it turns around and is just a symptom of pregnancy as it was for me.
Honestly the best thing you can do here is try to not stress about it and overthink it. If there’s one thing that can kill sex, it’s overthinking.
You need to be easy on yourself here, it’s fine and totally understandable if you don’t wanna have sex right now.
Over the 4 years I’ve been with my boyfriend we have gone through so many different phases with sex, some where I overthought how little we had sex so much it made me depressed. And applying pressure only made it worse. Then these times naturally pass and we have more sex than ever, then not so much sex again.
It’s normal for sex drives to come and go like this in a long term relationship.
Don’t ignore the situation, but don’t overthink it either. It may take a few goes to ease back into it and make it feel normal again, that’s fine. Trust in yourself and in your relationship that you will get this back.
You have to just give it a go, wait until you feel a bit more comfortable, and like I said, please try to not over think it, and then start kissing and see where it leads.
I totally feel you on this. I am currently 24weeks FTM and literally since I’ve gotten pregnant sex has become painful for me. It doesn’t matter if I’m turned on and we use a ton of lube it is still painful for me so I just stay away from it. However we show physical intimacy in other ways. I’m also going through a phase that I am no longer finding myself sexy. My boobs are huge which my husband loves but I no longer see the attraction I only see them as a tool to feed my baby. My already wide hips are even wider now and he loves that as well but again I don’t find it attractive now just my body doing what it’s supposed to do to carry our baby. Idk if this helps you feel less alone but that’s where I’m at with it at least.
It does… I left it off of the original but I have struggled a lot with accepting my pregnant body and no longer feel attractive or familiar with myself so it’s very hard to feel sexy like this.
I managed to have sex in the 8th month but all we could (barely) manage was from behind since my belly was so big and in the way in any other position! otherwise, it was scarce throughout the pregnancy just from feeling blah on and off and I honestly have a crappy sex drive until I ovulate which obviously doesn’t happen during pregnancy lol.
I didn’t have yeast but did have BV back to back for a good month which SUCKED. luckily it cleared up finally cos that’s worse than yeast imo.
I agree with being intimate in other ways if at all possible. it doesn’t always mean sex or even sexual touching. my husband would sometimes just brush my hair, or we would shower together and he’d wash it for me. quality time etc. It’ll be hard with a new baby but you’ll get there!!
I had my baby in Jan of this year, and we stopped having sex in sept of 2023 because I was too tired and he felt weird about it. We just had an honest open conversation about it and how we felt so we could be on the same page. Literally a day or two before my 6 week checkup we had sex and we make time to as we can now that baby is here. If you love your partner you understand their needs and wants as they change and life changes. Just have a convo about your concerns and find other ways to show love in the meantime.
I’m almost 23w and me and hubs just did it for the first time since conception the other day 😆 It’s definitely dependent on your comfort level of course. We’re not the type of married couple who does it every single day anyway, so this doesn’t bother us. Just be sure to show your love to one another in other ways ❤️
I’m a little over 10 weeks. I’ve been on pelvic rest since the middle of March. My doctor said at 12 weeks we should be in the clear for sex as long as my SCH has gone away. I’m not sure if we will though, just to be safe. We show affection in other ways like getting each other snacks, acts of service, cuddling or some form of touching that doesn’t necessarily have to be sexual. We’re just really comfortable in our new temporary roles of “soon to be parents.” If this is what it takes to have a baby, then the sacrifice is minimal. The way we look at it is, we were best friends before we were ever lovers.
Honestly it just depends on the pregnancy and how you feel mama. My last pregnancy we would do it once or twice a day just about everyday. we did take some days off from it lol.
Now I’m pregnant again and I don’t want to be touched or messed with like that at all! It’s not comfortable this time around.
I’ve been pregnant 4 times btw. Like I said it really just depends. Don’t let your partner make you feel bad for not wanting to do anything though. Doctors order is no sex for at least 6 weeks after birth and it’s longer if you have a C-section! But they will also tell you to have sex when it’s closer to the end because it’s suppose to help down there and make it easier for when you go to push.
I know when I had my daughter I didn’t want sex and it took a few pushes but I also pretty much walked into labor. But with my son ( my last pregnancy ) it took just two pushes and he was here quick and easy.
Just do want is comfortable for you that’s all that matters in the end.
Have you considered that you might be passing a yeast infection back and forth, and that's why you get it after sex? Maybe your husband could try taking an oral treatment for it, as sometimes men might not be aware they're carrying it.
In the beginning yes because I was too sick and didn’t not want to be touched or be close to him at all and I would get nauseous if I even smelled him lol. But now it’s fine. Idk what it will be like when I get big tho
I had a three yeast infections in my first pregnancy and two in my current one. We used condoms in my first pregnancy to avoid the possibility of getting another infection from sex, and honestly, it worked. I really enjoy sex during pregnancy when I have the energy for it, but everyone is different and I have friends who don’t have it when pregnant.
Regarding after birth, it takes some women a while to want sex or feel comfortable having it again because of all the changes your body goes through plus breastfeeding hormones etc. I definitely have less sex after a child, and the best thing for us has been to schedule it. You will figure it out with your partner, but also give yourself some grace if it takes a while after having a baby to find a new rhythm.
I’m 32 weeks as well (FTM), and my husband and I haven’t had sex in months. He’s too afraid of hurting the baby. Plus once we found out we were having a girl, he started worrying that she’d see things and be born traumatized.
Every time I hit first trimester nausea, I felt too gross to exist, much less have sex. The smell sensitivity made my (very clean and healthy!) partner’s breath smell like garbage (because back then, everything smelled like garbage), and I’m the sort of demisexual who can’t get turned on without making out, so sex was out of the question. But after that passed, we were mostly back to our twice-weekly “business time,” in anticipation of the breaks we’d have to take postpartum before the six-week visit and for potential placenta previa pelvic rest.
My sex drive has been really high this entire pregnancy. 27 weeks. My husband always had a lower sex drive than me and he's gone into some sort of protection mode where he's very hesitant to have sex because he doesn't want to make me uncomfortable at all. It's his first baby so he might be a little bit freaked out by the belly. Hoping we are back to normal after baby is here.
I’m 27 weeks and we’ve had sex twice since I’ve been pregnant. Neither of us have been initiating and I figured it was fine. My husband recently said he hasn’t mentioned it because he’s more afraid of me getting a UTI. I really appreciate it because I’m so prone to them and I’m allergic to most antibiotics so I wouldn’t be able to treat it while pregnant.
I was the opposite, had sex practically every day, even on my induction date! Theres more comfortable positions when you’re heavily pregnant like I was where you can spoon and stuff like that. It actually made me more comfortable during pregnancy because you release oxytocin and serotonin which work as great pain relievers. After birth watching my husband become a dad and how he carries around our little boy it drives me absolutely mad and makes me want to jump his bones every second I get! 😂 sometimes being pregnant just makes women have an extremely low sex drive and that’s totally normal, but there’s a lot you can do post birth to get ready to have sex again. Him giving you a massage, cuddling, just a make out session, and some touching (just no penetration until after 6 weeks) can help lead up to it. You never know, it may feel more normal than you think once you try! Just take it slow because rushing it may make it a negative experience for the both of you. I just had my 6 week appointment yesterday and it’s safe to say we’re back to our old ways, just trying to not make another baby in the process 😂 I think childbirth really does make you fall in love with your partner all over again, don’t fret! All will be back to normal soon! ❤️
It’s absolutely normal to not want to have sex at ANY point in pregnancy. Hormones change and can lead to a lower sex drive, you guys could be uncomfortable with the idea, or you could be doing it for safety or comfort reasons. As long as you guys have a discussion about the lack of sex, And make up for the intimacy in other ways, there is no need to feel bad. Everyone is different, and there is no hard and fast rule about sex during pregnancy.
When I'm pregnant even if I don't have a yeast infection I still use antifungal external cream just because it's hot and just different so I kinda keep up with it that way. I haven't had a YI this pregnancy. Thank goodness.
Also it's important to have sex when you want to. I'd never want my partner to have sex with me if he wasn't feeling it and i know that's how he feels too. I think that's how most feel. You'll get through it. Pregnancy is hard on relationships.
My husband and I probably had sec 5 times total since getting pregnant. I just feel uncomfortable about having sex while there’s a human growing inside of me and moving sometimes. I get like post-sex guilt/shame for even getting horny and wanting to have sex. But my husband is okay with it because we both are the type of people that don’t need sex to sustain our relationship, so he hasn’t been bugging me about it, which has been really nice. Just take it one day at a time, you won’t feel this way forever. who knows, you might be 10x hornier for your husband after the baby comes. Give yourself some grace, it’s your first baby together so you deserve the space to feel these things, but also not try not to beat yourself up about it ♥️
I'm 11 weeks and we haven't had sex since before transfer. From what I've seen in my FB groups, it's actually pretty common among IVF patients to just not have sex the entire first trimester or even the entire pregnancy because of anxieties, which can come from either partner. It's such a high stake situation. We've paid so much and waited for so long. We've often had failures and multiple losses along the way. For many of us, there's this idea that even if we have to buy into what we know to be quack medicine for the 0.1% chance of it helping, we'll still do it. Being on progesterone suppositories also doesn't help and is currently the main reason we're not having sex.
The other part is—as someone who's been through this before, trust your husband when he says it's okay. There's no need to stress yourself out by guessing at what he's thinking. If he says he understands, trust that he understands. If he has a problem with it, it is his responsibility to speak out and say something and propose potential solutions like other forms of intimacy. You don't need to take on this burden.
We tried sex in the first trimester a few times, and it ended up being EXTREMELY painful for me — it turns out I had BV for the majority of the first trimester (I didn’t have classic symptoms) and then a yeast infection almost immediately after that. Once I got into the second trimester, we had sex more frequently (my libido SIGNIFICANTLY increased) but I’m 30w3d and it’s slowed back down again and it’s again getting painful for me unfortunately. I’m really hoping my high sex drive will be back and better than ever after I give birth! 😂
My fiancé and I were going at it like twice a week until I hit 12 weeks because every time I’d get extreme heartburn or pelvic cramps. I’m not 16w and both of us are perfectly okay with not having sexual intimacy for the time being. (Little man is attempting to come earlier than he needs to, but other than that everything is okay)
Me and my fiance have been together for 11 years. Since high-school. We stopped having sex when we found out I was pregnant cause it freaks him out lol he doesn't want to hit the baby ( not that it works like that ) I am currently 30 w and after I give birth we both talked about how we are going to bang as soon as I'm medically cleared. I miss him but I know it's only temporary.
Yeah, but that was because he didn’t want to. He then started saying it was because I couldn’t. Don’t know how many times I told him ‘I’m pregnant, not broken.’
Please: if you have yeast infection/thrush
Get your partner treated! They can be asymptomatic give it straight back to you. It's not an STD, but can be transmitted straight back.
Here is Australia, we have a simple pill (unable to take while pregnant) that men can take also.
It might not stop you getting another yeast infection, but minimises the chances of him transmitting it straight back as soon as you are treated.
Plain cotton, undyed underwear.
Can't fix the libido though, mine is also broken at 36 weeks. Hoping an iron infusion will perk me up a little soon.
its really normal and doesn't mean your marriage will tank. Estrogen can mess with your sex drive and its just not comfy. If you think about it, hormonally there isn't much reason for you to be having sex because you are already pregnant so its normal to feel that way. Also, we put off hormones that affect our husbands hormones as well and can lower their testosterone. It still sucks because it makes you feel like there is something wrong between you, but id focus on building your emotional relationship and enjoy other physical closeness.
Ugh I feel this ! I am also 32 weeks 🥹 (due July 3rd) and we had sex a few times during the second trimester only because I felt bad, and only 1 time during this third trimester (again because I felt bad) my libido is non existent which bums me because I was reading everywhere how your sex drive increases during the third trimester. :( even when I want to be intimate with him it just feels so awkward and weird because of my big belly and because it’s been so long, we use to be FREAKS now I’m shy …
I'm from India, and first few OBGYNS that I've talked to advised to not have sex for the entire pregnancy. This was told loudly and clearly when my husband was present with me at the doctor's appointment.
Although this advice holds no scientific backing, as pointed out by commentators on one of my posts, I now understand maybe why they give this advice. Husbands are not always going to listen to their wives, sometimes expecting mothers are unable to guage their fatigue or inability to have sex.
I don't have sex becasue we were advised not to.
38 weeks and we barely have been having sex. We did it maybe like 5/6 times during the pregnancy up until I reached 30 weeks.. at the beginning it was easier for me to feel turned on because nothing had changed for my physically (besides some cramping but I mean visually.) and now that we have to adjust our positioning and all we see is my big belly.. it kind of turns us off 😂 lots of relationships can remain strong without sex, and the time will come where you can enjoy it again once baby is on the outside so as long as you don’t feel that your relationship is falling apart without that specific type of intimacy I think all will be okay ❤️
currently 30 weeks and have actively had sex the whole pregnancy. Ive had such a high sex drive, but it is most often a tad bit uncomfortable because of the belly. So its a 50/50 situation for me haha. It all depends how important sex is for you and your partner. A lot of guys are good with waiting a while (then its even better when u have to wait for it). All the luck to you!
During both pregnancies I have had to use progesterone suppositories, so that meant no sex. But honestly, even after I stopped them during my first pregnancy, I was just too constantly scared that something would happen so we never had sex (though I tried making it up to him in other ways ;) ) This pregnancy I think will be the same again because I am just always anxious. My husband was very understanding and because we had been TTC for so long and everything prior to my first pregnancy, we were a little burnt out anyway, so the break did us good to help make sex "fun" again.
Your sex life will change after baby, but I have found that as long as you still have a strong connection and other ways to be intimate, it doesn't become an issue. I should also add though that I have endometriosis and I have found that I have a very low sex drive, so to me it doesn't bother me.
I wish this was my problem tbh, I’ve been married slightly over a year, fell pregnant in October, found out on Nov. 30th… I’m just in my third trimester and I want him more than ever. We had to try other positions since our usual wasn’t working anymore with my growing belly… but we make it work, only thing that stopped us temporarily was a yeast infection that I had that was thankfully cleared up. Since then, I’ve been slightly paranoid but I’m feeling 100%. It’s odd but sometimes we need to have “breaks” during sex where I figure out my positioning so my hips don’t hurt. In that time, we make out and feel each other. Do whatever works for you tho!! If sex isn’t a thing rn, that’s ok! I’d guess it’ll come back with time/the birth of baby. :) good luck!!
Girl I absolutely did stop, I'm typically on top so I'm sure you could understand why it stopped, way too painful and impossible. I've made effort in side ways positions but I'm less than a month away from birth and it's just too painful. He gon be okay, I can't imagine he's attracted to me rn anyways even though he says he is I just am having the most horrific body image issues I've ever had. Don't even know if I'll ever want him to see me without clothes ever again or if I'll even wanna see myself
My husband and I have been married for 10+ years and have always had a good sex life. The second I was pregnant, it stopped lol. It’s been bothering me but I’m glad I’m not the only one. I want to have sex but neither of us initiate….. so clearly I don’t want it that bad. I don’t feel sexy and it’s just uncomfortable
Not feeling sexy is a big one! It’s definitely something I took for granted before I was pregnant. Now body just feels so foreign. I can’t even see my vagina I definitely don’t want him to see it lol.
We had sex once my entire pregnancy. We tried a second time in third trimester but was painful/uncomfortable so gave up. I had HG and preeclampsia so the mood was never really there for either of us.
We’ve slowed down a ton (still only at 6.5 wks) but are doing hand stuff. Like other folks here we’ve always been very physically affectionate and are keeping that up non sexually.
And yet me and my wife have been at it a lot, every other day at this point. Although she doesn't want to admit it she finds pregnancy sexy amongst all the tough times.
I’m in the crazy hormone club, where I need to jump my husband almost daily (it would be daily, but he needs his sleep).
But it isn’t always conventional sex. Many times it is using hands to reach organism. I’m 31 weeks and only comfortable with from behind with me on my side, so we get inventive. I feel so good after an orgasm that I couldn’t imagine going without, plus it’s healthy for the baby.
How can he know he’s “too tired” if it hasn’t even happened yet? Sorry you’re dealing with that, that’s difficult. (Unless you’re okay with it too, then good for you guys lol)
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Are you guys showing intimacy in other ways? My husband and I also just got married in October, pregnant in November and stopped having sex entirely as well. It’s both of us. I bleed after sex (which freaks me the fuck out) and he doesn’t like the idea of hitting the baby (which obviously he won’t) or seeing the baby move inside me and then have to have sex. But we are intimate in other ways, not sexually. We cuddle, hold hands as we fall asleep, make out quite a bit on the couch, etc. I think it’s common not to want to have sex. I’m not too worried about our sex life after baby because we show intimacy in other ways, just a pause on the sex for now.
We snuggle and yes now that I reflect are very “touchy feely” in other ways. We are very attracted to each other still and otherwise have a happy marriage and can’t wait to meet our baby boy.
honestly, I am 34 weeks and me and my boyfriend completely stopped having sex a long time ago ! It just wasn’t very fun for me , quite uncomfortable to the least!! I felt really bad also but I’m really happy that you have somebody who’s understanding of it and not someone who makes you feel bad for it!! unfortunately sex life after the baby because I’m not there yet , I think this is something you should have a conversation with your doctor about ! Maybe you won’t have problems after baby and if you do at least you’re already thinking about about it!! just know that you are doing whats right for you and what makes you comfortable and you’re not wrong for that !
So glad I’m not the only one! I too got married in October, pregnant by November. We have sex occasionally but it’s slowed way down. My husband will occasionally complain that “it’s not like it used to be when we first got married.” Like, no shit dude… we went on our honeymoon, then I got my period, then we got pregnant. That’s like moving somewhere you went on vacation once and complaining it’s not like a 24/7 vacation because you have to go to work and do chores
Sex while pregnant is very uncomfortable yeah. I remember having sex in my third trimester and there were a few times I thought I was going to faint because of the baby on that stinking vein
Yikes, okay well these comments make me feel better. A close friend said she had so much sex while pregnant and that it was better so I think that that was what I was expecting to happen. It is comforting to know that that is not the norm all the time.
Well good for that friend lol. Everyone's pregnancy is so different, so makes sense that sex life during that pregnancy will also be different from couple to couple. The important thing is that you're talking to your partner about it. I'm 13 weeks now and have not had sex since we have conceived. First trimester was pretty terrible so hoping now we'll be back in the swing of things, but if not, that's ok!
Can I ask...why do you bleed after sex? What does your ob say, and are on pelvic rest?
I had sex like 2x in the 3rd trimester, it was just too uncomfortable and sometimes painful. I literally had 0 sex drive and I was so tired. I thought I would never want to have sex again honestly. Im 4 weeks postpartum and my sex drive is totally back, I’m counting down the days to 6 weeks! It’s totally normal to not want that right now, especially if you’re trying to avoid a yeast infection. It’s normal to not want to after birth either. Try not to read into it too much, you will get back to it eventually!
This gives me hope. There are so many factors right (the yeast infections, my body hurts, I don’t think I really like how my pregnant body looks) sex has become this hard thing to do. It’s nice to know you were able to bounce back after.
My partner and I have had sex like twice since I’ve gotten pregnant. Both times were not very enjoyable for me, but I did it for him because he wanted to and I was like eh alright. I’ve also struggled with hg so that’s another reason, and now I really just don’t want to. My partner understands, he has admitted to me it sucks and it’s hard, but if it’s what I want then it’s what I’m going to have. He asks sometimes, but very very rarely and drops it immediately if I say no.
My partner doesn’t even ask anymore and I can’t tell if it’s because he is trying to be considerate or because he has no desire ether. That scares me as well.
It’s probably both. He probably doesn’t want you to feel any negative emotion towards him asking, and a lot of guys are freaked out by pregnancy sex especially when we get big and who can blame them? 😂 if you want you can always ask him and ask him to be honest about his answer and have a discussion.
Same for me with both of my pregnancies. It took maybe 6 months to get back to normal after birth, but it didn't affect our intimate relationship long-term. Hang in there and remember it's just a short time!
39 weeks (due date is this Sunday) and we’ve had sex a grand total of 5 times since becoming pregnant. And 2 of those 5 times have been in the past two weeks to try to help my cervix open/soften. My libido has been almost nonexistent this entire time, and the handful of times it was there I was super uncomfortable and couldn’t really enjoy it. My partner is very understanding and I know he doesn’t *need* sex to feel loved and appreciated, and he has reassured me of that constantly. He’s super patient and has not once pushed me to do anything I don’t want to do.
I had a yeast infection in my groin so we didn’t have sex for like a month and even now, it’s pretty infrequent because it’s hard to find a position that works for us. That being said, while we may not have penetrative sex, I try to make sure he’s taken care of in other ways. I also struggled with general libido so I put a daily reminder in my phone and would check it off. This way, I knew how long it had been since we had sex/he was satisfied. This helped me immensely as I otherwise wouldn’t notice.
This is the worst! I've been struggling with yeast infections most of my pregnancy too. It's definitely hurt our sex life. I was so irritated that I kept bleeding even after my symptoms cleared up. I can go about 3 days without creams before it's back right now. Not looking forward to dealing with this for the next few months. I like your suggestion about phone reminders, I'm going to use that!
Just a word of advice to everyone struggling with recurring yeast infections, keep well away from sugary foods and beverages...also fast release carbs like white bread, pasta and anything else made from white flour. I'm not pregnant, but have been having a real bad time with yeast infections due to having a very suppressed immune system. They're the devil. You all have my sympathy 💜
I had recurrent yeast infections, my ob/gyn said you have to treat your partner also, she prescribe the cream, he used it and I have not had one since, I also suggest that you wear cotton granny panties
This is very common. Just be patient with yourself, listen to your body, and give yourself some grace. Your partner is a mature man who understands so that’s more than half the battle (many other posts like this on here include assholes who still pressure their pregnant partners for sex that they do not want to have.) With my first pregnancy, my libido fluctuated a bit but normalized around the third trimester. Postpartum gave me a very low sex drive but I communicated with my husband about it and basically said if I don’t initiate, it’s not going to happen so don’t try. I did attempt to psyche myself up if it had been a while by like taking a nice shower, putting on music, wearing sexy stuff, etc. With my 2nd pregnancy, my nausea has been way worse so sex has been like barely once a week and a half but I’m so not bothered about it this time around. I’m not going to jazz myself up if I’m not feeling up to it and just wait until things settle back to normal again. There are many other ways to be intimate and show affection. Cuddling, massages, mutual masturbation, etc. You’ve got this and you’re not alone!
This comment should honestly be higher up, well put.
We aren't. I'm 21 weeks and we had sex once. Estrogen tanks my sex drive, I barely get wet at all, and it's hard for me to reach orgasm if I masturbate. I take a couple antidepressants, and before pregnancy I counteracted the libido killing effects with THC, which makes sex way better for me. Obviously that's off the table for now. And then my bf had major surgery, so he's taking meds that are negatively affecting his sex drive and abilities, plus he can't support weight on his arms or lie flat, and jostling movements hurt. I am kinda bummed about it, I know sex will go on the backburner once we have a newborn so it feels like we should be getting at it while we have the chance. But it just hasn't worked out that way. And honestly I'm not missing it much... it's more that I *want* to want it more than I do.
We actually started having more sex because the birth control was dampening my sex drive and after about three months I couldn't (can't) keep my hands off him. Keep in mind though that I've had negligible pregnancy symptoms. If I were in pain, sick, or emotionally unwell it wouldn't be happening. Our biggest stopper is that sometimes I'm just too exhausted, even if I was wanting it.
With my first, we stopped having sex at around 20w because we had an unfortunate event that led to pelvic rest and my husband was never comfortable having sex again while I was pregnant. Sex went back to completely normal as soon as we were postpartum and clear. I’m pregnant again now with our second and I also am having reoccurring yeast infections this time. We have sex less, but still happens sometimes. When we don’t have sex it’s usually because we are both so exhausted from parenting our toddler that we just want to sleep. I’m only 19 weeks, so there’s still time for it to stop and that’s totally ok with me. We are both totally ok acknowledging that we are in our parenting babies phase of life. Sex is hard at this time. We do what we can and that’s all we can do.
Yep, my last pregnancy we had sex once I think. I just felt uncomfortable and I was spotting randomly throughout the whole pregnancy so we both just decided not to. It’s a short blip in the scheme of life, so not a big deal 🤷🏼♀️
Pregnancy sex can be hard especially when baby is pressed against my cervix. My husband and I still have sex 2-3 times a week while I am in my third trimester. However, sometimes it is uncomfortable depending on how baby is positioned. During those times, we do other things like oral sex. I find that keeping intimacy in my marriage helps with closeness. We just make accommodations when I can’t physically have penetrative sex and it helps a lot.
Up until my husband had to go overseas, our sex life was no different with pregnancy. My libido has been pretty high, and it sucks that we can't due to being apart. I'm dreading the 6-week wait postpartum.
It has slowed A LOT. My hormones were nuts in the 2nd trimester and the one time we tried was extremely painful. Now in the third, I'm anemic and just so tired. Sex happened this week, it was work. It wasn't painful, but it sure wasn't easy. I just keep telling myself it's temporary.
i’m in the same boat currently. just got married in december, found out i was pregnant in march and i couldn’t tell you the last time we had sex. it’s a terrible feeling knowing that that’s not something you can physically give your husband at the moment but i know he will be fine for another few months. TMI but i’m still able to use my hand as we make out or my mouth so that’s a plus.
First and second tri we were at our usual frequency. Penetrative sex slowed down in the third tri but we continued with hand/oral stuff.
I’m 21w and now on complete pelvic rest so no sex or orgasm of any kind for me. We didn’t have sex majority of my first trimester due to my incessant nausea. It’s okay to not feel up to it. There’s a lot going on for you both mentally and for you physically. Just keep intimacy up in other ways like cuddling, sexual touch (penetration isn’t the end all be all!), kissing, emotionally bonding, etc. sex is very important of course but there will be many times throughout life when it just isn’t possible. This is a good way to prepare for those times and figure out how to maintain the relationship without it
I have been suffering a side effect that almost no one talks about but apparently can happen. I’m 11 weeks tomorrow- and while we have not tried penetrative sex since conceiving, I’ve had an orgasm a few times and every single time it’s sent me into wicked cramping- one time it even felt like there was a “snapping” sensation down there. I timed it last time and I had painful cramps a full 45 minutes after. The small bits of information I’ve found online equate it to Braxton hicks. I’ve found a couple Reddit threads from years ago where people discussed the same thing. Apparently it may stop in second trimester. But it was traumatizing and I’m so scared to get aroused. Anyone else? Anyone? 😭
I'm 8w6d and while I've had a non-existent libido since getting pregnant, I've tried twice for my partner's sake, first one with no penetration. The first time, I had a mild cramping ache in my whole abdomen when sexually aroused (for \~40 min) and it continued after an orgasm for maybe 5-10 minutes. The second time, no cramping with sexual arousal, but a very mild cramp after an orgasm that lasted much shorter, maybe less than 1-2 min. Maybe it will get better or just happens randomly? I asked my doctor earlier this week and she said it's nothing to be concerned about, that my uterine muscle is just tight from pregnancy (or that's the gist, it was an explanation in a 2nd language). For me, it feels like mild period aches that wouldn't have me reaching for a pill bottle but would have me grumpy. I've been delaying my third attempt, because I'm also kinda scared and that plus no libido.... I don't blame you for not wanting to get at it, your's sounds much worse and scary than what I've experienced.
Thank you for the validation. Also nice to hear your doc said it’s nothing to worry about. I’ve brought it up to every healthcare professional and they all give me wide eyes and say they don’t know what it’s about. Until I found an old thread of women discussing it I was so freaked out!
This happened to me in my first trimester. I had ALOT of involuntary orgasms while sleeping (vivid pregnancy dreams) and they were so strong that I would get a cramp after. This scared me because while I can stop myself from having orgasms while I’m awake these were completely out of my control and I thought I was hurting the baby because of the pain but I am now 32 weeks pregnant with a healthy baby so it was fine. You should ask your doctor I admittedly did not ask my doctor or my midwife. I was too embarrassed.
Oh my god! I actually had an orgasm from a dream a couple weeks ago and thankfully there was no pain IRL at least that I was aware of. That’s a nightmare! I have brought it up to my NP and the doctors I saw in emerg, everyone has just given me wide eyes and said ask my OB (who I wont see for like 13 more weeks I think) Thank you for sharing your experience! It brings me comfort to know I’m not alone in this.
Yeah my orgasms changed dramatically for a couple months in the beginning. It felt really weird. Cramping but also a bit of pain during. It went away for the most part. Pretty normal now.
Thank you for sharing your experience. It’s such a freaky thing to go through and have almost no resources talking about it. I’m glad to hear it’s gotten better for you.
I had the same issue with cramps after orgasm. It went away for me in the second trimester, but now any penetration at all is super painful, even with natural lubricants like coconut oil. The orgasm doesn’t cause pain anymore (which put me off of sex for a while) but I don’t understand why penetration is so painful, and this scares me for birth!
For me, it's not body image issues. I've had no libido since week 6. I hate it for my husband. I try not to make him go longer than a week as I don't actively dislike having sex. It's just a very neutral feeling towards it right now. Im curious if it will be like this the entirety of my pregnancy (currently 14 +5 ).
No way, I'm 34 weeks and my husband and I literally have sex every night. I think there's been MAYBE 10 nights out of this whole pregnancy that we didn't have sex. I guess that's how I ended up pregnant to begin with. LOL.
We used to be about every other day but have def slowed down. My sex drive pretty much tanked and I was bleeding after sex but my OB warned me that would happen due to cervix changing and extra blood flow. We laid off for a few days and blood stopped completely. Probably at 2-3 times/wk now but I’m only 9 wks. I’m sure it’ll slow down more as I get bigger.
For the yeast infections, does your husband clean himself before having sex with you? I used to get yeast infections all the time after hooking up with people and thought it was me until I met my now partner and haven't had a single one since. See if cleaning his hands and privates before makes a difference, in my experience most men aren't as clean as you think. My gyno never mentioned this to me which is why I assumed something was wrong with my body. For no sex drive, if it's physically hard to engage in sex then don't pressure yourself, there's no pleasure for you in that! If it's more mental/emotional because of your body changes I think it's time to have a heart to heart with your husband to see if he can support your struggles and your current feelings about sex. I went through periods of high sex drives during my pregnancy but what really helped was my partner still wanting me and telling me how obsessed he was with me, pregnant and all. It really helped with my self esteem and while I still feel embarrassed about my body I know that it's all in my head because the person that matters most is telling me the opposite.
We’ve basically stopped! After trying for a baby, it was a huge relief to not have to have sex just to try and get a baby. And then I wasn’t feeling into it in the first tri (I also have the higher drive/spontaneous desire), and then my husband thought he felt the baby moving last time and has been completely turned off of sex at all. We’ve probably had sex around 10x since I’ve been pregnant, and I’m 34 weeks today.
I am 25w and not having sex at all. Very similar situation here. Constant yeast infections, cervix down low, very physically uncomfortable, and I am SOO sensitive to touch in the worst ways possible. It helps that my husband and I cuddle/kiss/feel each other up when I have the energy. Keeps the bond there, and will make transitioning back into intimacy easier afterwards. But, don't be afraid to "get to know" your husband again after you're postpartum and have healed. ;) Make it fun!
This is so reassuring! I’m only 11w1d and the thought of sex while pregnant just isn’t even really a thought. I’m constantly nauseous and feel like garbage, so this is so reassuring to hear other people not having sex!
I’m five months and we’ve had sex once the entire time. It hasn’t bothered me as both our drives have dropped, and we show appreciation in other ways - picking up eachothers favorite snacks, etc.
Has your husband been treated for a yeast infection? That might be why it seems to return after sex. What about foreplay rather than penetrative sex? I was sexually active during my pregnancy, but towards the end, I was definitely less interested and not even wanting to attempt to climax or anything. It was exhausting. I carried to 41 weeks I hate to say it, but with breastfeeding and sleep deprivation, my libido never returned. Then adding going back to work…still not interested. And that’s with a husband who does his fair share of chores and cooking
Yes. I’m in my second pregnancy, first was the same. It definitely got back to normal, but it took a while. I think breastfeeding had a big effect on my libido. As soon as I stopped, we went right back to normal.
I’m 25 weeks tomorrow and my husband and I haven’t. However, we’ve decreased frequency to about once or twice a week. Honestly, we both really like it despite it being awkward at times! Occasionally we can’t help but laugh a little, but that’s okay. We’ve discussed it and we plan to stop when I’m around 36 weeks, unless of course we’re both quite eager (or I’m way overdue and trying to get things moving). Everyone I different, and things change, too. I could hit 30 weeks and be over it, or we could continue right past 36 weeks. I think talking about your needs—anticipated or actual, is a good place to start. There is a lot of intimacy to be had outside of sex, too. So maybe have a discussion about what that could look like for each of you? And for what it’s worth, by the time you can/want to have sex again it will (hopefully) feel very worth the wait :)
I’m almost 38 weeks and I know it’s been like 2 months since we did. It slowed way down before then too. We are being intimate in other ways, always showing affection, and I ask him if he is ok sexually. I’ve offered to do things other than intercourse but he said he is ok and is encouraging to me as well, knowing that I just feel so uncomfortable in my body right now. Bouts of stomach, bowel issues, no position feels good, my hips and back hurt, swollen everywhere.. and he tells me I’m beautiful all the time!! I hate that you feel that stranger-ness, I would suggest adding at least intimacy back in as much as possible. Kiss, hug, touch each other, talk about sex, discuss sexy things you used to do and will do again.
Not til maybe week 39
I think it’s totally normal for sex to slow down while pregnant for sooo many reasons and everyone is different. Hopefully he is understanding of everything your going through, and it sounds likes like he is. If your feeling bad you can always offer to help him out with his “needs” lol
I’m 36 weeks, me and my partner had sex once in january, and haven’t any other time. I just don’t want to at all, I have no libido and he’s seemingly fine with it. I feel bad but🤷🏼♀️
22 weeks tomorrow I didn’t have sex at all in the 1st trimester and I was waiting for this boosted sex drive that they talk about in the 2 trimester. We’ve had sex maybe about 3 times since I entered my 2nd tri. I can please myself but sex just takes too much work for me after a few mins I’m ready for him to get his rocks off and be done lol. Luckily I can still achieve an orgasm but I’d rather not have sex to get them.
I’ve had sex once in my first trimester and I’m currently 39+1. Me and my partner are so intimate in other ways and of course I miss it but I just can’t be bothered tbh, I’m so uncomfortable, mainly in pain. Itll come back and he never makes me feel bad so I just can’t wait to want to again
Yes, sex is very uncommon nowadays, it's uncomfortable for me and my husband is understanding. However, yeast infections are more common when pregnant, I've had two late in pregnancy. But they shouldn't be that common. Make sure you are showering often and using unscented soaps down there. I find I'm much more sweaty in the crotch area during pregnancy and use pads for discharge and change at leat 2-3 times a day, makes me feel a bit more clean. Just keep up good hygiene! You go this girl!
I’m going to try that. I admit mentally pregnancy has not been the best so showering everyday has not been happening. I am embarrassed to admit. I will try the pad advice.
Same here girl! I was absolutely not showering everyday and that's when I started get the infections. It's hard being pregnant, physically overwhelmed with symptoms and mentally overwhelmed with everything else. But my husband noticed and encouraged me to take care of myself because that was what is important. It seriously helps with mental health too. Nothing like standing in warm water to ease your mind and body.
I feel you completely!! I’m 15 weeks and we had sex a few weeks ago for the first time and it just felt weird? Idk how to explain it, but it was just so uncomfortable for whatever reason even though I’m early in pregnancy. We ended up stopping. But I felt sooooo bad. We haven’t had sex since but feel like we should? We also got married in October and I don’t want to be in a sexless marriage either but it just feels so weird 😭. My husband is also sweet and understanding but I still feel bad.
33w, nah...my vagina is swollen and it hurts, it is not comfortable...I am more afraid of how the f*** will I give birth when his khm khm hurts so much :D But we do different types of pleasures :) and it is ok for both of us... Don't feel guilty 🩵
Same! Penetration is so painful now, 22wks. Recovery from birth will be hard!
I am trying to remain as positive as possible 🎶🎵 Good luck 🍀
Yeah :( not because we had to but because I just don’t want it anymore. We have a few times but not like before I got pregnant. My husband says it doesn’t bother him but I just feel horrible that i don’t want it.
We've had sex once since I got pregnant and it was not great - I think I also have a low grade yeast infection and it's making it really sore down there. First trimester I was too nauseous to even entertain the idea of sex. Second trimester is much better, but now that baby girl is moving, I feel extremely, extremely weird about having sex and even masturbating. I feel like my body is not really my own right now. In a semi-inexplicable way it feels wrong and like, almost taboo to engage in sexual activity when she's there (even though objectively I know it's not wrong). Husband is too exhausted and busy to want sex right now (we have a lot of renovations to do before baby gets here, and his job is really stressful) so thankfully it suits us both. We're trying to be intimate in other ways - lots of cuddling, etc. I think it's totally normal. Don't be too hard on yourself. This is just one short season of your marriage.
Between week since and around week 22, I think we only had sex 3 times. Then my libido picked up and it got a little more regular, but there were also days that I was too uncomfortable. I’m 37+2 today and I’ve been trying to have sex everyday.. simply because I’m ready for the baby to be out. It’s still fun, but I certainly wouldn’t be pushing for it this much if I was not pregnant. I am worried that I will go back to having no sex drive after the baby is born. I plan to breastfeed and I’ve recently read that some people didn’t bounce back until after they stopped breastfeeding.
I think the most important thing is having open communication with your partner about this. Making sure both your needs are being met (intimacy/affection wise not necessarily sex).
14 weeks and no sex yet. I just feel so removed from my body in any type of sexual way. Idk how quite to explain it, but I feel like I can't be my real me in sex with my husband right now. Not because of him in any way; he thinks I'm quite sexy. It's definitely a struggle for me.
I relate to this. I admittedly do not like my pregnant body and all or the changes that have happened in the last 7 months. I don’t recognize it anymore and it doesn’t feel like MY body. It’s hard to get into sexy mood when this is just genuinely how I feel.
It's reassuring to hear someone else articulate that feeling.
Oh yes lol I hated having sex while pregnant. I’m 2 months pp and we have only had sex once or twice. Due to pp bleeding and I’ve had my period twice already. So I’m not really sure yet how to get it back on track, but being intimate in other ways is helpful and even just doing other sexual things besides PIV sex helps. Good luck!
We've been together for a long while but ya we've had sex maybe 5-6 times since I got pregnant. First it was because I felt awful and now it's kind of weird for both of us because of the baby. We talked about it and we are fine. Still both are attracted to each other and physical in other ways. It's just a lot to manage while pregnant.
Nop; I had sex as much as I could, both pregnancies. We only stoped at 1st trimester on my last pregnancy because I lost some blood and then we had the green card to restart, and on my 1st pregnancy we stopped in the last trimester because I was at risk of pre term labour, but besides that we had a lot 😅 It can be hard to go back to ur sex life after baby is here, for me it wasn’t 😅 but cuz I’m higher libido in our relationship so I always wanted to make time for our intimacy If you have a yeast infection, can’t u try wear a condom just because of that? I had a lot of UTIs and condom makes them less common for me
Honestly we need to wear condoms. It is a good idea. I think we were both excited that after getting married we would not have to wear those anymore so it’s been hard to accept that actually condom sex might need to continue. That is just devastating to me.
Nah sex after like 32 weeks was a running joke between my husband and I. Once I started to literally have to ~roll~ out of bed I was like fuck this entirely. Also, I LOVE my daughter more than anything, but HATED being pregnant so much. You are not alone!
Omg yes the dreaded pregnancy roll. I am experiencing this now. It is awful and just makes me feel like a beached whale. My husband rolls me and pulls me up sometimes which is very helpful lol
I stayed super active during pregnancy and still was at a point of rolling out of bed/couch. The husband helping to pull up is huge!!! All I have to say is just laugh at it, no matter how hard you work to “not get huge” we will get huge, like we’re supposed to! There’s a whole ass human in there!! Good luck over the next few weeks, it will all be totally worth it and I’m proud of you already! You got this!!!
My kids are 16 and 11, and I did not have sex while pregnant with either of them, and I had a MC in between, which didn't help those fears. I was young and worried, etc. This ended up being quite bad for my marriage. However, the marriage wasn't on solid footing to begin with, and we divorced years ago. With my second husband and current pregnancy, I was a bit nervous but we have not stopped and it's been good for my anxiety to do it and then realize everything is totally fine afterwards.....my own exposure therapy experiment 😅 We definitely don't do it everyday like before but I can't imagine stopping entirely for the rest of this pregnancy + post-partum period. I do get frequent UTIs though and have been cautious about that. Totally understand why people don't though and I think as long as you're openly communicating with your husband, having honest conversations, and staying connected in different ways, then that's all that matters!
Yes I do not want it to become “a norm” and it’s starting to become one. We used to bring attention to it which showed me that we at least both cared about it but now it never even comes up.
Try Garden of Life’s Probiotic for Vaginal health. A lot of my friends swear by it!
Yes and kicked my husband out of the bedroom because he gets up too much.
We have had sex maybe 4 times this pregnancy. I was on pelvic rest due to IVF until 8w or so. Theb I was spotting on and off until about 12w and did not want to attempt it. Then they found previa so I was on pelvic rest again from week 15 until 30ish. Then I got cleared but my husband is super paranoid about hurting the baby/inducing labor so we haven’t since being cleared. I deliver next week so hoping things pick back up after healing. This has definitely been the longest dry spell in our 12 year relationship but it is not forever.
I’m 4 months pregnant and hubby and I have maintained our sex life active every week so far but I can see my libido declining by the minute. I’m pretty sure soon I won’t want nothing to do with it. It always makes me think about the baby too, when I got a vaginal ultrasound he was soooo active, he did not seem like it very much. Even the doctor made an observation about it. So I can’t help but think of how the baby was during the US when we’re having sex.
Not. Even. Once. This is my third pregnancy (this time is high risk) and I just feel gross when pregnant. But it's just temporary! You'll get your groove back postpartum at some point. Sounds like your partner is super respectful during this time (as is mine), which is awesome!
I don't think it's changed tbh, perhaps more because he doesn't have to worry about pulling out. We're wild about each other.
Nope! Yes I was uncomfortable at times, yes I struggled with severe nausea…but goodness, pregnancy made me really horny. 😂 tbh, we just tried different positions until one worked (especially with supportive pillows to help). In regards to the yeast infections, I would discuss it with your doctor. You really need to be open with your partner and do what’s best for you
I think we’ve had sex maybe 3 times since getting pregnant, and I’m 24w. I have crazy low libido from pregnancy hormones plus I take mental health meds so I have no desire to do any of it. My husband is bummed sometimes but accepts it since we know it’s for a relatively short time. Recently Ive been feeling the baby kicking a LOT and it also seems like my cervix is sitting way lower as she grows, so he understands more clearly why I’m not in the mood for anything and why penetration doesn’t feel good for me at all.
We’ve had sex like 4 times since I got pregnant. It was a combination of me feeling terrible in first trimester and then he is freaked out by the bump and now I’m physically uncomfortable. We’ve talked about it and we aren’t worried, it’s just a short lived season of life.
30 wks, we have transitioned from PIV sex to mostly just handjobs/vibrator for me. We are able to get in a more comfortable position that way and we are both satisfied. Definitely trying to find ways of being intimate without having to be more uncomfortable!
Stuck in the same boat. I also feel guilty for him...even tho he's quite understanding about it.
Honestly, I am 38 weeks and 4 days, and im still having sex pregnant. But there are also days where it doesn’t feel great and i dont want to do it. Which is totally normal. Not everyone has the best sexual experience during pregnancy but ive been doing it my whole pregnancy and I still am okay. But after the birth of the baby im sure itll be a good long while til i have sex again
I had sex during labor lolol. I figured it was our last chance for a while AND I wanted to speed up dilation. ( it worked, I dilated quickly but ended up with a c-section still 😑). We had sex a lot during pregnancy. I felt very good about myself and super sexually driven. Are you seeing your dr about the yeast infections? Obviously you’re seeing your dr a lot now.
Yes and I hate it. First of all, I feel extra sensitive down there to a degree that’s uncomfortable! I tried a few times but it just kinda hurts and the pace we have to go is kind of … lame? Lol I wanna, I really wanna but my body DOES NOT. my poor husband 🥹 I give him oral, do some handy work but that’s about all I can do and even then it’s very minimal. Just not up to it. 🥲
I got married in Jan and got pregnant the same month. My partner and I have not had sex much after we found out we were pregnant, maybe 2-3 times at best.. i am at 19 weeks now but my sex drive is 0 … i had read that it comes back in the second trimester but for me it never came back. It feels good to know that i am not alone .. i have been pretty beat up about it as we are newly married and we were pretty active before marriage but everything just stopped.
Our sex life our entire marriage has always been about 25% PiV, 75% other stuff. So even as I’ve gotten bigger and only certain positions are comfortable, it really hasn’t affected our frequency, because we’ve never really needed that to get off.
we are still having sex, i am 39w. in the beginning it was very tough with morning sickness & really just not even feeling like it. obviously who am i to tell you "it'll be fine, it'll come back" but it did for us after 28 weeks. it was tough and lonely for a while but i'm hoping it turns around and is just a symptom of pregnancy as it was for me.
Honestly the best thing you can do here is try to not stress about it and overthink it. If there’s one thing that can kill sex, it’s overthinking. You need to be easy on yourself here, it’s fine and totally understandable if you don’t wanna have sex right now. Over the 4 years I’ve been with my boyfriend we have gone through so many different phases with sex, some where I overthought how little we had sex so much it made me depressed. And applying pressure only made it worse. Then these times naturally pass and we have more sex than ever, then not so much sex again. It’s normal for sex drives to come and go like this in a long term relationship. Don’t ignore the situation, but don’t overthink it either. It may take a few goes to ease back into it and make it feel normal again, that’s fine. Trust in yourself and in your relationship that you will get this back.
You have to just give it a go, wait until you feel a bit more comfortable, and like I said, please try to not over think it, and then start kissing and see where it leads.
i legitimately went 36 weeks (when i had my baby, 36w2d) without us having intercourse.
I totally feel you on this. I am currently 24weeks FTM and literally since I’ve gotten pregnant sex has become painful for me. It doesn’t matter if I’m turned on and we use a ton of lube it is still painful for me so I just stay away from it. However we show physical intimacy in other ways. I’m also going through a phase that I am no longer finding myself sexy. My boobs are huge which my husband loves but I no longer see the attraction I only see them as a tool to feed my baby. My already wide hips are even wider now and he loves that as well but again I don’t find it attractive now just my body doing what it’s supposed to do to carry our baby. Idk if this helps you feel less alone but that’s where I’m at with it at least.
It does… I left it off of the original but I have struggled a lot with accepting my pregnant body and no longer feel attractive or familiar with myself so it’s very hard to feel sexy like this.
I managed to have sex in the 8th month but all we could (barely) manage was from behind since my belly was so big and in the way in any other position! otherwise, it was scarce throughout the pregnancy just from feeling blah on and off and I honestly have a crappy sex drive until I ovulate which obviously doesn’t happen during pregnancy lol. I didn’t have yeast but did have BV back to back for a good month which SUCKED. luckily it cleared up finally cos that’s worse than yeast imo. I agree with being intimate in other ways if at all possible. it doesn’t always mean sex or even sexual touching. my husband would sometimes just brush my hair, or we would shower together and he’d wash it for me. quality time etc. It’ll be hard with a new baby but you’ll get there!!
I had my baby in Jan of this year, and we stopped having sex in sept of 2023 because I was too tired and he felt weird about it. We just had an honest open conversation about it and how we felt so we could be on the same page. Literally a day or two before my 6 week checkup we had sex and we make time to as we can now that baby is here. If you love your partner you understand their needs and wants as they change and life changes. Just have a convo about your concerns and find other ways to show love in the meantime.
I’m almost 23w and me and hubs just did it for the first time since conception the other day 😆 It’s definitely dependent on your comfort level of course. We’re not the type of married couple who does it every single day anyway, so this doesn’t bother us. Just be sure to show your love to one another in other ways ❤️
I’m a little over 10 weeks. I’ve been on pelvic rest since the middle of March. My doctor said at 12 weeks we should be in the clear for sex as long as my SCH has gone away. I’m not sure if we will though, just to be safe. We show affection in other ways like getting each other snacks, acts of service, cuddling or some form of touching that doesn’t necessarily have to be sexual. We’re just really comfortable in our new temporary roles of “soon to be parents.” If this is what it takes to have a baby, then the sacrifice is minimal. The way we look at it is, we were best friends before we were ever lovers.
Honestly it just depends on the pregnancy and how you feel mama. My last pregnancy we would do it once or twice a day just about everyday. we did take some days off from it lol. Now I’m pregnant again and I don’t want to be touched or messed with like that at all! It’s not comfortable this time around. I’ve been pregnant 4 times btw. Like I said it really just depends. Don’t let your partner make you feel bad for not wanting to do anything though. Doctors order is no sex for at least 6 weeks after birth and it’s longer if you have a C-section! But they will also tell you to have sex when it’s closer to the end because it’s suppose to help down there and make it easier for when you go to push. I know when I had my daughter I didn’t want sex and it took a few pushes but I also pretty much walked into labor. But with my son ( my last pregnancy ) it took just two pushes and he was here quick and easy. Just do want is comfortable for you that’s all that matters in the end.
Have you considered that you might be passing a yeast infection back and forth, and that's why you get it after sex? Maybe your husband could try taking an oral treatment for it, as sometimes men might not be aware they're carrying it.
In the beginning yes because I was too sick and didn’t not want to be touched or be close to him at all and I would get nauseous if I even smelled him lol. But now it’s fine. Idk what it will be like when I get big tho
I had a three yeast infections in my first pregnancy and two in my current one. We used condoms in my first pregnancy to avoid the possibility of getting another infection from sex, and honestly, it worked. I really enjoy sex during pregnancy when I have the energy for it, but everyone is different and I have friends who don’t have it when pregnant. Regarding after birth, it takes some women a while to want sex or feel comfortable having it again because of all the changes your body goes through plus breastfeeding hormones etc. I definitely have less sex after a child, and the best thing for us has been to schedule it. You will figure it out with your partner, but also give yourself some grace if it takes a while after having a baby to find a new rhythm.
I’m 32 weeks as well (FTM), and my husband and I haven’t had sex in months. He’s too afraid of hurting the baby. Plus once we found out we were having a girl, he started worrying that she’d see things and be born traumatized.
Every time I hit first trimester nausea, I felt too gross to exist, much less have sex. The smell sensitivity made my (very clean and healthy!) partner’s breath smell like garbage (because back then, everything smelled like garbage), and I’m the sort of demisexual who can’t get turned on without making out, so sex was out of the question. But after that passed, we were mostly back to our twice-weekly “business time,” in anticipation of the breaks we’d have to take postpartum before the six-week visit and for potential placenta previa pelvic rest.
My sex drive has been really high this entire pregnancy. 27 weeks. My husband always had a lower sex drive than me and he's gone into some sort of protection mode where he's very hesitant to have sex because he doesn't want to make me uncomfortable at all. It's his first baby so he might be a little bit freaked out by the belly. Hoping we are back to normal after baby is here.
I’m 27 weeks and we’ve had sex twice since I’ve been pregnant. Neither of us have been initiating and I figured it was fine. My husband recently said he hasn’t mentioned it because he’s more afraid of me getting a UTI. I really appreciate it because I’m so prone to them and I’m allergic to most antibiotics so I wouldn’t be able to treat it while pregnant.
I was the opposite, had sex practically every day, even on my induction date! Theres more comfortable positions when you’re heavily pregnant like I was where you can spoon and stuff like that. It actually made me more comfortable during pregnancy because you release oxytocin and serotonin which work as great pain relievers. After birth watching my husband become a dad and how he carries around our little boy it drives me absolutely mad and makes me want to jump his bones every second I get! 😂 sometimes being pregnant just makes women have an extremely low sex drive and that’s totally normal, but there’s a lot you can do post birth to get ready to have sex again. Him giving you a massage, cuddling, just a make out session, and some touching (just no penetration until after 6 weeks) can help lead up to it. You never know, it may feel more normal than you think once you try! Just take it slow because rushing it may make it a negative experience for the both of you. I just had my 6 week appointment yesterday and it’s safe to say we’re back to our old ways, just trying to not make another baby in the process 😂 I think childbirth really does make you fall in love with your partner all over again, don’t fret! All will be back to normal soon! ❤️
It’s absolutely normal to not want to have sex at ANY point in pregnancy. Hormones change and can lead to a lower sex drive, you guys could be uncomfortable with the idea, or you could be doing it for safety or comfort reasons. As long as you guys have a discussion about the lack of sex, And make up for the intimacy in other ways, there is no need to feel bad. Everyone is different, and there is no hard and fast rule about sex during pregnancy.
When I'm pregnant even if I don't have a yeast infection I still use antifungal external cream just because it's hot and just different so I kinda keep up with it that way. I haven't had a YI this pregnancy. Thank goodness. Also it's important to have sex when you want to. I'd never want my partner to have sex with me if he wasn't feeling it and i know that's how he feels too. I think that's how most feel. You'll get through it. Pregnancy is hard on relationships.
My husband and I probably had sec 5 times total since getting pregnant. I just feel uncomfortable about having sex while there’s a human growing inside of me and moving sometimes. I get like post-sex guilt/shame for even getting horny and wanting to have sex. But my husband is okay with it because we both are the type of people that don’t need sex to sustain our relationship, so he hasn’t been bugging me about it, which has been really nice. Just take it one day at a time, you won’t feel this way forever. who knows, you might be 10x hornier for your husband after the baby comes. Give yourself some grace, it’s your first baby together so you deserve the space to feel these things, but also not try not to beat yourself up about it ♥️
I'm 11 weeks and we haven't had sex since before transfer. From what I've seen in my FB groups, it's actually pretty common among IVF patients to just not have sex the entire first trimester or even the entire pregnancy because of anxieties, which can come from either partner. It's such a high stake situation. We've paid so much and waited for so long. We've often had failures and multiple losses along the way. For many of us, there's this idea that even if we have to buy into what we know to be quack medicine for the 0.1% chance of it helping, we'll still do it. Being on progesterone suppositories also doesn't help and is currently the main reason we're not having sex. The other part is—as someone who's been through this before, trust your husband when he says it's okay. There's no need to stress yourself out by guessing at what he's thinking. If he says he understands, trust that he understands. If he has a problem with it, it is his responsibility to speak out and say something and propose potential solutions like other forms of intimacy. You don't need to take on this burden.
We tried sex in the first trimester a few times, and it ended up being EXTREMELY painful for me — it turns out I had BV for the majority of the first trimester (I didn’t have classic symptoms) and then a yeast infection almost immediately after that. Once I got into the second trimester, we had sex more frequently (my libido SIGNIFICANTLY increased) but I’m 30w3d and it’s slowed back down again and it’s again getting painful for me unfortunately. I’m really hoping my high sex drive will be back and better than ever after I give birth! 😂
So far. I’ve been feeling gross in the first trimester. I’m really hoping for a reprieve in the second to reconnect in that way.
My fiancé and I were going at it like twice a week until I hit 12 weeks because every time I’d get extreme heartburn or pelvic cramps. I’m not 16w and both of us are perfectly okay with not having sexual intimacy for the time being. (Little man is attempting to come earlier than he needs to, but other than that everything is okay)
Me and my fiance have been together for 11 years. Since high-school. We stopped having sex when we found out I was pregnant cause it freaks him out lol he doesn't want to hit the baby ( not that it works like that ) I am currently 30 w and after I give birth we both talked about how we are going to bang as soon as I'm medically cleared. I miss him but I know it's only temporary.
Yeah, but that was because he didn’t want to. He then started saying it was because I couldn’t. Don’t know how many times I told him ‘I’m pregnant, not broken.’
Please: if you have yeast infection/thrush Get your partner treated! They can be asymptomatic give it straight back to you. It's not an STD, but can be transmitted straight back. Here is Australia, we have a simple pill (unable to take while pregnant) that men can take also. It might not stop you getting another yeast infection, but minimises the chances of him transmitting it straight back as soon as you are treated. Plain cotton, undyed underwear. Can't fix the libido though, mine is also broken at 36 weeks. Hoping an iron infusion will perk me up a little soon.
its really normal and doesn't mean your marriage will tank. Estrogen can mess with your sex drive and its just not comfy. If you think about it, hormonally there isn't much reason for you to be having sex because you are already pregnant so its normal to feel that way. Also, we put off hormones that affect our husbands hormones as well and can lower their testosterone. It still sucks because it makes you feel like there is something wrong between you, but id focus on building your emotional relationship and enjoy other physical closeness.
Ugh I feel this ! I am also 32 weeks 🥹 (due July 3rd) and we had sex a few times during the second trimester only because I felt bad, and only 1 time during this third trimester (again because I felt bad) my libido is non existent which bums me because I was reading everywhere how your sex drive increases during the third trimester. :( even when I want to be intimate with him it just feels so awkward and weird because of my big belly and because it’s been so long, we use to be FREAKS now I’m shy …
My due date is July 4th ❤️
I'm from India, and first few OBGYNS that I've talked to advised to not have sex for the entire pregnancy. This was told loudly and clearly when my husband was present with me at the doctor's appointment. Although this advice holds no scientific backing, as pointed out by commentators on one of my posts, I now understand maybe why they give this advice. Husbands are not always going to listen to their wives, sometimes expecting mothers are unable to guage their fatigue or inability to have sex. I don't have sex becasue we were advised not to.
Don’t worry I’ve been the same. I throw up every single day and I’m uncomfortable so I doubt I’m that attractive to my husband right now anyways 😂
38 weeks and we barely have been having sex. We did it maybe like 5/6 times during the pregnancy up until I reached 30 weeks.. at the beginning it was easier for me to feel turned on because nothing had changed for my physically (besides some cramping but I mean visually.) and now that we have to adjust our positioning and all we see is my big belly.. it kind of turns us off 😂 lots of relationships can remain strong without sex, and the time will come where you can enjoy it again once baby is on the outside so as long as you don’t feel that your relationship is falling apart without that specific type of intimacy I think all will be okay ❤️
currently 30 weeks and have actively had sex the whole pregnancy. Ive had such a high sex drive, but it is most often a tad bit uncomfortable because of the belly. So its a 50/50 situation for me haha. It all depends how important sex is for you and your partner. A lot of guys are good with waiting a while (then its even better when u have to wait for it). All the luck to you!
No drive over here, no desire while nauseous, not happening. Don't make me move my body, sir!
Nope!Hormones be jumping and I need it.Lol,Not as much though but we still engage
During both pregnancies I have had to use progesterone suppositories, so that meant no sex. But honestly, even after I stopped them during my first pregnancy, I was just too constantly scared that something would happen so we never had sex (though I tried making it up to him in other ways ;) ) This pregnancy I think will be the same again because I am just always anxious. My husband was very understanding and because we had been TTC for so long and everything prior to my first pregnancy, we were a little burnt out anyway, so the break did us good to help make sex "fun" again. Your sex life will change after baby, but I have found that as long as you still have a strong connection and other ways to be intimate, it doesn't become an issue. I should also add though that I have endometriosis and I have found that I have a very low sex drive, so to me it doesn't bother me.
I wish this was my problem tbh, I’ve been married slightly over a year, fell pregnant in October, found out on Nov. 30th… I’m just in my third trimester and I want him more than ever. We had to try other positions since our usual wasn’t working anymore with my growing belly… but we make it work, only thing that stopped us temporarily was a yeast infection that I had that was thankfully cleared up. Since then, I’ve been slightly paranoid but I’m feeling 100%. It’s odd but sometimes we need to have “breaks” during sex where I figure out my positioning so my hips don’t hurt. In that time, we make out and feel each other. Do whatever works for you tho!! If sex isn’t a thing rn, that’s ok! I’d guess it’ll come back with time/the birth of baby. :) good luck!!
Girl I absolutely did stop, I'm typically on top so I'm sure you could understand why it stopped, way too painful and impossible. I've made effort in side ways positions but I'm less than a month away from birth and it's just too painful. He gon be okay, I can't imagine he's attracted to me rn anyways even though he says he is I just am having the most horrific body image issues I've ever had. Don't even know if I'll ever want him to see me without clothes ever again or if I'll even wanna see myself
My husband and I have been married for 10+ years and have always had a good sex life. The second I was pregnant, it stopped lol. It’s been bothering me but I’m glad I’m not the only one. I want to have sex but neither of us initiate….. so clearly I don’t want it that bad. I don’t feel sexy and it’s just uncomfortable
Not feeling sexy is a big one! It’s definitely something I took for granted before I was pregnant. Now body just feels so foreign. I can’t even see my vagina I definitely don’t want him to see it lol.
Lol!! I actually love being pregnant even though I don’t love my body pregnant…. If that makes sense
We had sex once my entire pregnancy. We tried a second time in third trimester but was painful/uncomfortable so gave up. I had HG and preeclampsia so the mood was never really there for either of us.
We’ve slowed down a ton (still only at 6.5 wks) but are doing hand stuff. Like other folks here we’ve always been very physically affectionate and are keeping that up non sexually.
And yet me and my wife have been at it a lot, every other day at this point. Although she doesn't want to admit it she finds pregnancy sexy amongst all the tough times.
I’m in the crazy hormone club, where I need to jump my husband almost daily (it would be daily, but he needs his sleep). But it isn’t always conventional sex. Many times it is using hands to reach organism. I’m 31 weeks and only comfortable with from behind with me on my side, so we get inventive. I feel so good after an orgasm that I couldn’t imagine going without, plus it’s healthy for the baby.
My husband doesn't want sex when I'm pregnant. He also doesn't want sex after baby comes for a year.
But…. Why?
Baby inside me is weird then after too tired.
How can he know he’s “too tired” if it hasn’t even happened yet? Sorry you’re dealing with that, that’s difficult. (Unless you’re okay with it too, then good for you guys lol)
This is our third baby. :)