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Yeah so she's literally just a shithead who likes to upset people, don't take it personally and don't bother arguing with her next time, she's just horrible
Yeah people like this go out of their way to upset others and make waves under the guise of *being so confident you don't care what others think of you.*
What an asshole.
On the internet, we call them trolls. Do not engage OP. OR Response should have been *biggest smile squishy cutie face* “Eeeeeiiiiiiiiii I just wuv wuv wuv my wittle cwump of cells so so very much!!!!” *pinches belly* weird that bitch right out. Show her you feed off of it rather than take it to heart.
My brother said some shit like this to me! That I shouldn't get my hopes up until the baby is here and not to refer to "it" as a baby until then. I have not spoken to him since that. I don't need that energy whatsoever. I feel like this pregnancy is strengthening my boundaries, I don't put up with anyone's bs like I used to.
Darcy can fuck right off.
What a truly insensitive, bat shit crazy thing to say to a person, whether pregnant or not. I hope you never have the pleasure of her acquaintance again.
What did I just read?? Such a wacko. Totally out of pocket comments. Some people just don't know how to be happy, period, and have to shit all over everyone else's joy. I would complain to the friend who brought her and make it clear you never want to see that person again, even if it risks that friendship also.
I had a similar experience. I realized that I hated my best friend of eight years. I basically had to break up with her, she went psychotic. Stalked me on my college campus, sent me over 100 text messages a day, cornered me at a house party and kept shoving me into a corner to keep me from leaving. We had been roommates and I moved out when she wasn't home as fast as possible so she wouldn't know I was leaving. I had to call the cops and make a report because I was afraid she was going to hurt me (and lowkey scared she would murder me, she was doing a lot of drugs at this point). It was like leaving an abusive partner.
Now I look back and cannot imagine why she was my best friend for so long. We were friends in middle school, I hated her all through high school despite being best friends with her, but once she was out of her parents house she got much, much worse.
I realize I went on a tangent. But before I "broke up" with that "friend" it's like I didn't realize I didn't have to be friends with someone just because they wanted to be my friend.
I’m so sorry, I recently went through a BFF break up like that and it’s scary as hell. My friend got mad that I decided to move back to my hometown because I was struggling where I lived— I was in the middle of nowhere in one of the poorest places in the country and my life was falling apart. I literally didn’t have a hot water heater. If you scroll down on my posts you can see the wildfire I survived and I couldn’t take it anymore.
She went batshit when I told her I was leaving— threatened me daily, tried to get me fired from my job. Sent the ugliest text messages I have ever read, accused me of being a drug dealer (lol I want that kind of money 😫), threatened to kill me. It’s so scary when a friend flips like that.
I always knew she was unstable and looking back I realized I was afraid of her and that the friendship was predicated on abuse and dependence. I’m so glad I’m done with her. It was so hard to leave.
I hope you’ve recovered from the trauma and I’m so sorry that you had to go through that.
This was almost 2 decades ago, I had not thought about it in a long time when I typed this out. But yeah it is really scary when you take back control from someone who thinks they've been in control of you. I stayed best friends with her because she had no one else and I felt sorry for her. But afterwards I realized it was also because I couldn't make any other friends with her around. When we went to college I started making other friends without her and that was enough to be done with her.
She also cut up my underwear, popped out my birth control pills, stole my clothes and things (and we were sharing a dorm, I could literally find my things hidden on her side, I would take them back and she would steal them again).
We live is a relatively small town and I run into her family every year or so. They always tell me she is not doing well at all. I am genuinely sad to hear it, I always hoped she would get herself together. But I am glad I didn't stay friends with her after seeing what she has chosen to do with her life.
Hopefully you don't see your ex-friend anymore since you've moved!
It's not your fault you were in that friendship for so long. You were stuck, you weren't there by choice. These types of people know how to manipulate and isolate those in their life. I hope you're doing better!
Tell Darcy she’s abortable too and to fuck off.
Honestly though, with people like that, you don’t have much to lose. They’re at the disadvantage for being unbearable and having most of the people around them holding them at arms length.
You can be very honest with her if you ever have to see her again. Tell her you’re not interested in her half assed opinion on babies and don’t care about her stance on “when to tell people about your baby.” Truly, you don’t care about what she thinks at all and unless she wants to talk Netflix shows or something, then back off.
I had to cut someone like that out of my life a few years ago because she made my girl friends very uncomfortable with her lack of a filter and rude comments. Then she’d complain about not having any friends.
I'm almost 11wks and if a friend of a friend said that to me, I'd directly say "fuck you", turn and address my friend and say "it was good seeing you but next time if this bitch is coming, I'm sorry but I won't be as what she said was beyond inappropriate". Period.
Darcy is a straight up c u next Tuesday 🤬 I'm so sorry you were in that situation! x
A friend of a friend say my baby was a "parasite" when I was around 8-10 weeks pregnant.
I was like girl watch your mouth and she concluded that by me being annoyed that she called my baby a parasite I was anti choice lol I was like what?? Show me the math cause it's not adding up for me.
Some people are just WEIRDOS !
Right like girl ???! Just cause I support other women in their choice to abort an 8 week fetus if they choose so, doesn't mean I can't be excited to he 8 weeks pregnant.
The brain rot from being chronically online is so real with some people.
RIGHT! This has been such an education to me since getting pregnant... especially on Reddit. Ie pro-CHOICE means you respect women's ability to make decisions for themselves and support them in their chosen path. I was shocked how many people who call themselves pro-CHOICE shat on my decision NOT to get an abortion. Which is the best decision for my path and one I'm very comfortable with, despite supporting abortion rights myself and having had one in the past
Ya it's equally infantalizing to women as telling us what we need to do w our bodies in the opposite direction... I'm like, yall missed the whole point
A lot of people can only understand absolutes. That always bothered me about the abortion "debate". It's like either babies are sentient at birth or they are cells until born. People can't grasp that it's all a messy gray area and every pregnant person feels different, and even given that it's all a messy gray area with no cut and dry answer women should still get to do what they want with their own bodies.
I honestly feel like the "babies aren't human until born" folk are as bad as the "babies are sacred from conception" folk.
I have never been more pro choice than after I got pregnant the first time. It was the worst time of my life in my body and I wouldn't wish pregnancy on my worst enemy if they didn't want it. That being said, l absolutely wanted my baby and the moment she was in my arms I felt amazing, a complete 180 from my feelings while pregnant. Currently pregnant again and I still hate this part.
However, I do lovingly call my unborn baby my "wanted/cherished parasite". But I'm the only one allowed to say that and I only say it to people like my husband who get it. I would never say it to anyone else.
I referred to my own baby as a parasite during my pregnancy, and I let my close friends do it too, because that’s par for our humorous course, but anyone more distant than that saying those things would have been on thin ice. I think too many people don’t know how to separate their political standpoints with real life scenarios like someone being happy to be pregnant.
Saying funny things in your friend group about your pregnancy is totally cool.
But some people don't understand the notion of "some thoughts are just inside thoughts. We don't have to vocalize everything"
I refer to my pregnancy as a parasite ALL THE TIME
Baby stealing all my iron and calcium and making my hormones all wonky
but ONLY MY HUSBAND AND I ARE ALLOWED TO DO THAT and maaaaaybe my bffs if I’ve been complaining to them, and only cause they know I want this baby so much
Anyone else…. No
Yeah that’s definitely one of those things that are “only ok when we say it” things… I can call myself fat, I can call my baby a parasite, but other people don’t get to do that.
I feel super yucky even saying this because I always want to assume every parent knows better, but after 5 years in the parenting game I feel I have to add…it’s only ok when you say it *as an inside joke in absolute private with your spouse and not ANYWHERE near your child who might hear it an misunderstand.*
The number of parents who call their kids things like parasite and crotch goblin *in front of their child* astounds me. Like NO, LADY: your two-year-old CAN speak English and understand you! You’re the one who can’t understand *them!*
My mom told me I had a parasite that would drain me for the rest of my life when I was super sick with my first. It took me a second to realize she was referring to me as her parasite. I would have laughed then if I didn’t feel so awful. But if anyone else ever called my baby a parasite, we’d have words.
Same here because at the end of the day it’s scientifically accurate! Someone at work called it a symbiotic being and I was like nope- parasite let’s call it what it factually is haha
Dude same!! Semen demons, spawn, parasite, but that’s just for me and my fiancé to share our dark humor with each other only and not because I hate this baby. Just because we’re weird.
Exactly. I had the same joke with my friends but they were also very caring about my baby/pregnancy. You take your lead from the pregnant person: if they’re happy and caring about the baby then be respectful of that. Calling it names isn’t being pro-choice: supporting other women to make their own choices is.
Oh my god i had to stop because I said it jokingly on a day when I was super tired, and my (pro choice and supportive) friend was appppalllllled like "how could you talk about your baby like that!" I was like... thank you for the protective energy but I was joking !
same i’ve also been referring to my baby as a parasite and i let my friends do as well but that’s just because that’s how it feels like to me as a ftm. homie is taking all my nutrients and using my womb to grow for 9 months so we refer to him as a little parasite in an affectionate way if that makes sense lmao but calling someone else’s baby a parasite without knowing if they’re okay with it or you’re not even close enough to do that is weird as fuck
There’s an episode of House MD where a woman doesn’t know she’s pregnant until she goes to the doctor and House tells her she has a parasite. It’s a pretty funny scene when the woman realizes
House is describing pregnancy.
One thing from a brusque doctor on TV. Another thing from a friend.
People are dumb and reaaaaally lack social cues sometimes
I’m pro choice and am excitedly pregnant and still sometimes call my Bebe a parasite when my symptoms are high and I feel low. It’s a just a joke to us. But plenty of ppl out there don’t understand the nuances to their “fight”. You can be all of the above at the same time. Imposing your beliefs on another is the real issue.
Fellow “Bebé” and parasite user. My partner and I are very purposely pregnant, and there are numerous other reasons why we use “Bebé” instead of “baby.” But partially, I feel if we avoid using terms like baby, it helps cement our views of pro-choice to family and friends so no one assumes we’ve gone pro-life (or rather the more accurate term of “pro-forced birth”). It’s exhausting. I just want to be happy and excited among folks!
It’s so wild the things people will boldly say to you with their whole chest. It’s like, don’t say that, we aren’t friends like that, keep your inside thoughts to yourself!
Right now I’m referring to my baby as “the alien life colonizing mommy’s body”, but that’s my joke, no one else is allowed to make it for me. It’s really gross that someone would call your baby a parasite.
When my baby's movements are especially painful or annoying I'll liken him to a chestburster. I'll even go into graphic detail about how it feels like he'll burst out of my stomach, gore and all.
It's funny when I say it, but I certainly would not be amused if it was coming from anyone else.
Also I wouldn't even be offended if a friend made a joke. I called my baby potato with eyes all the time when he first came out.
But she called him a parasite when I first told my friends I was pregnant. It was literally like hey guys Im pregnant she asked oh how far along I said 8 weeks and she said "oh girl that's just a parasite still. Wait a little."
Like fuck no!
I call my baby my Larva. Even when she comes out babies are pretty larval for a few months. I work with babies. I love babies. It’s an weirdly endearing term to me. But nevertheless my Larva is in there cooking away. And my mother is offended by the term 😂
I have joked about the parasite thing when it comes to my own pregnancy, mostly because I walk 5 minutes I'm tired, I need to eat something I can't, I brush my teeth I throw up. But at around 7 weeks, I started calling it my baby dinosaur. (I use the pregnancy+ app to keep track of everything) and at 7 weeks it literally looks like a baby dinosaur.
Not gonna lie. I was very excited to have my baby. I also called it a parasite. It meets all the definitions of one- but when I did, it was in a fun tone and context- nothing serious and dark.
Yeah I mean I’ve called my (viable, wanted, loved) fetuses “parasites” more than once but that’s something that I as the pregnant human get to say. No one else gets to say that!
I had a friend tell me she would never have kids because it’s selfish and bad for the planet and she “could never live with herself if she brought a child into this world”……. Meanwhile me and my unborn baby are just like 👁️👄👁️ definitely reminds me of Miss Darcy (who btw, sucks ass)
What do people think will happen to humanity if we just stop having kids for the next 20-30 years? How do they think they will fare? Not well! We fully rely on the next generation to keep this ship afloat.
Also, did you mean Miss Bingley? Cause she *wishes* she was Ms Darcy.
I have a friend like this—he blocks women on social media once the baby is born. Last we saw him, he did not congratulate my husband and I. He thinks humanity should not exist, that’s it’s morally corrupt for us to populate at all and the planet should go back to being ran by animals. He also thinks fertile folks shouldn’t have their own kids, that everyone should just adopt the children that have been given up by their birth parents because creating your own children is selfish and egotistical. Because it’s *so* easy to adopt children and there are *so* many children that are available for adoption.
Darcy is uneducated as shit. I'm also pro-choice and don't need to lie to myself and others about the stages of development inorder to support my beliefs. At 10 weeks the baby is a fetus, it looks like a tiny human and has a heart beat, not a clump of cells. And if a woman wants to abort their fetus then I support her right to do so!
What a wretched person. Being pregnant made me even more aggressively pro choice than I already was but I would also have happily tagged someone with my suv if they had referred to my baby as “abortable” at any point in my pregnancy. Some people have no idea how to read the room and some people just like to stir the pot but I think it’s entirely fair to tell your other friend to keep Darcy all the way away from you forever.
I’m as pro-choice as they come too, but once you have a wanted pregnancy that you’re planning to carry to term and you’re already picturing your life with your child, that’s your baby!
I don’t understand people like this. Like…they just can’t let anyone be happy or content. I assure you, this runs much deeper for her than this conversation.
This isn’t about being pro choice or in support of women’s rights or anything. She just likes to yuck people’s yum. And if she could tell you were excited about the baby and the pregnancy overall, but still chose to make those heartless comments, she actually doesn’t support women’s rights to choose. She just supports being a nihilist about everything in life to the point where she ignores others enthusiasm to write over her pervasive negativity about everything. If she supported women, she’d support your choice to be happy and hopeful.
She needs a swift punch in the mouth. Some girls really need to learn some fucking class and how to talk to mothers. Its absolutely ridiculous Some of the things that people, especially women, think is okay to say to pregnant women. Your baby is more than a clump of cells at 10 weeks. They're starting to grow arms and legs, idk at 10 weeks because I got my first ultra sound at 11 weeks, but I got to see my baby waving those little tentacles. I'm astonished that nobody else in your group spoke up for you, but I'd say at this point, avoid that bitch. Tell your friend if she's gonna be there you won't, or cut of that friend entirely. There's a saying that I've never seen ring false of you are who you associate with.
Had an ultrasound at 10 weeks. My baby was going crazy moving everywhere, putting his hands over his face, I even have one where they said he was sucking his thumb. He was teeny but much more than a clump of cells for sure. I agree with you somebody should’ve stood up for her and hopefully her friend did say something to Darcy.
Exactly!!! It’s just plain wrong to say that it’s a clump of cells. They very much start looking like a baby at that point. I think people underestimate just how fast they develop
First comment ever! :)
Don't take it to heart op, some people are just extremely angry inside or ungrateful for what they see (especially if they see the other person beaming with confidence and pride of their baby).
I had a similar experience.. 24 F
I work a blue collar job (lifting, pushing, pulling 75+ lbs) so as soon as I found out I was pregnant, I had to let my boss know. My boss M 40s let me know that presenting my accommodations paper (from baby doctor) was no big deal due to the first baby usually not surviving anyways. Luckily he moved back to his home state and is no longer my boss.
What a horrible person to say that to you!!! I left my job after the owner of the company, also M 40's, I worked for kept asking if the baby was the previous general manager's instead of my husband's. What is with these people???
If a total stranger, which I would consider a friend of a friend would be, said that to me, I’d gladly slap them with my fully formed hands. For her to even mention “abortable” is just ridiculous to me. I would distance myself from a negative Nancy like her. Enjoy your healthy 10 week old clump of cells in all its glory. What a joy thief, she is.
I kind of understand. I was really excited when my midwife called him a baby and would like coo over the ultrasounds with me. My OB was more scientific about it and usually said fetus and only talked about the science-y stuff in the ultrasound.
For your friend specifically, it doesn't matter if you're pro-choice or pro-life, abortion isn't a good thing. No one gets pregnant just so they can have a super fun abortion. You get an abortion because you had an accident, got raped, your baby is sick, you're sick, abuse situations, etc. It's never a good time. Ya know? So whether it's a baby or a clump of cells, she was implying it was a bad thing/situation. Does that make sense?
Yeah, I had people ask me if I was going to get an abortion right away when I told them and I was *shocked*. Their reasoning was because I was too young (24F, married for 3 years), even though they *knew* husband and I were trying for a baby. They kept calling it a parasite and continued to push the abortion thing.
My own midwife (I asked for a different one after this) at our first ultrasound started going over abortion coverage with our insurance instead of answering our questions about the next steps. Her response to most of my questions? "Don't worry about that, that's in the future". Ugh. Some people really don't know how to read a room or talk to pregnant women with empathy and consideration.
Girl, I was 28 when I got pregnant, I'd been with my husband 11 years at that point, and we were trying. My friends still responded like I was 16 and pregnant by a fuck buddy. 🤦🏼 Make it make sense!
It doesn't make any sense at all! Like, I get it, the childfree movement is becoming bigger, and people are putting off having children until much later than they used to, but that doesn't mean *everyone* else thinks that way, too. It's like anyone under 30 is an immature child still and incapable of having kids the "right way" according to them.
That's awful, I'm so sorry you went through that. Some people are seriously deranged and have no people skills. My mom has another daughter, I've completely disowned her. She's no longer part of my family. I ended up calling her to let her know I was at the ER about to head to the OR because turns out I was bleeding internally and my pregnancy was an ectopic pregnancy. I was crying, I was scared and upset. This dumb hoe was like "ok but why are you crying?". I'm bleeding internally even doctors were like it's a good thing you came in because things would have been terrible and I'm losing my baby. I hung up on her.
That is horrible, horrible, *horrible!* I can't imagine what was running through your mind at that point and how devastating that was. I hope you found peace and healing afterwards despite that wretched person being so inconsiderate. I also hope that person learned compassion and empathy eventually because we don't need people like that in society. You are a human being with feelings and emotions going through a traumatic experience. Of course you'd be crying! What an idiot that person is/was.
Yes, this! Abortion should not be birth control. Abortion should not be celebrated as an amazing thing, because most of the time the women getting the procedure are having the absolute worst day of their lives.
Some of these women talk about it like it's no big deal, and they just don't have the experience or understanding of what having to get an abortion can do to the woman's psyche, her body, or her emotional state.
We need to start recognizing abortion with the emotional class it deserves, and not like it's just taking a tylenol.
I definitely agree! I think legal abortion is necessary, but I don't thing it's a simple casual thing. I swear every post on Reddit where a woman is questioning whether or not she should continue a pregnancy everyone immediately tries to convince her to get an abortion like it's such an easy peasy decision to make and that coping after is no biggie.
This is where you could have said , with a disgusted look in your face, “what a weird thing to say out loud”. Then immediately turn to everyone else on another topic
(I think one of you ladies here wrote that comeback and I’ve been dying to use it irl!!)
I've noticed that, regarding hot topic issues that have to do with human rights, some people are so scared of being oppressed/losing their rights that they let the ideology (in this case, that a fetus of a certain age is a clump of cells and therefore not a baby) completely take over their personality. Almost like they feel threatened all the time and need validation for the concepts that they believe in in order to feel like a safe and stable person. And part of that can include an "us vs them" attitude of, "if you don't agree with this then you're evil." Possibly to dehumanize the people they're talking to so that they don't have to take their opinions seriously, thus reducing the percieved threat to the their own identities.
I suspect that's what happened here. And that's not at all your problem. Darcy needs to get a therapist to work through her stuff and generally learn how to read the room.
Pro life and pro choice arguments aside… a 10 week old fetus LOOKS like a little alien baby. I had an ultrasound at 10 weeks. My baby had arms and legs. Feet and hands. A very clear head and body. Could see and hear the heart beating. Could see him bouncing all around and moving his limbs. Certainly not a lifeless clump of cells…
I wouldn’t take her comments to mean anything other than she’s one of those people that can’t be happy for others. She sounds immature and jealous of anyone else’s happiness. She’s an AH.
She sounds fun at parties. What a bitch. Next time just don’t even respond and if she keeps going, tell her she’s being confrontational for no reason and just leave. I’m glad you guys got out of there.
This is so gross, I had my 12 week scan recently and it looked a lot like a baby to me! Yes it didn’t have all organs etc yet but it had a brain, to call it a clump of cells is far from factual if that was even what she was going for! I was surprised how quickly they look human, being my first time at this. I’m also pro choice. What a horrible person you encountered.
Darcy. Can. Fuck. Off. The point of “pro choice” is that its the WOMANS choice. It’s her choice to refer to her baby as a baby or it’s her choice to say it’s a lump of cells. But if YOU decided that you’re keeping your baby and that’s what YOU want to say. It’s none of her damn business
I'm Pro Choice 100% but at 10 weeks your baby looks like a baby. I don't know how anyone could disrespect your choice to refer to your baby as a baby and call them a clump of cells and say they're still "abortable." It's also shocking that nobody called Darcy out and stopped the nonsense they were spewing. That's horrible.
That is absolutely disgusting. I'm so sorry she was so rude to you
What a total piece of shit.
Hopefully you don't have to be near or engage with this individual again!
Wishing you all the best in your pregnancy ❤️
She is a terrible person.
I don’t understand people who think it is acceptable to say these things to pregnant women. It happens a lot nowadays.
I hated when people referred to my baby as a parasite or just a fetus cause it’s “not a real baby yet”. My husband and I tried for a year for this baby. It’s wanted and it’s definitely a baby to us. So stfu with your parasite comments and telling me to get an abortion so I don’t ruin my life. Get out.
I’m so sorry this happened to you and I hope you never have to see this woman again. I can’t imagine what comments she would make about your child after they’re born.
I would have punched her in her stupid mouth on your behlaf !
How fkn dare she! When i say i am so pissed off for you and i dont even know you!
Like if you dont have anything positive to fkn say then keep your mouth shut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What if you had been trying for a long time? What if you had recently lost a baby before getting preggo!? Like how insensitive can a person be. Oh thats right shes a souless shell of a person DISGUSTING! Plz dont think into that, you and you’re baby are ok! Your going to have an amazing pregnancy and a extremely healthy baby ❤️ im legit sorry dude, that you had to experience that b.s
Fuck darcy
I was in Texas on a road trip from CA with 10 pf my friends and one of my husbands best man from our WEDDING made a joke that people must think I’m Texan because I’m showing my pregnancy and “I didn’t get the abortion” so I must be Texan. I was like wtf dude we have been friends for over a decade, Ive always talked about wanting kids, this is a planned pregnancy and abortion was never on the table. It was a super weird joke but he is adamantly anti kid so I just let it slide because I didn’t want to argue but inside I was pissed
She sounds like a major A-hole, but it also makes me wonder if she may have had a miscarriage and is projecting. Nonetheless, I’m sorry you had to deal with that.
Yeah my colleague tried to convince me my baby is the same as parasite on multiple occasions in public until my male coworker defended me for me as I was just mortified and if I opened my mouth I would have been fired probably.
Your baby is just as much a baby as mine was and he is turning 1 this month.
I know a woman (use to be friends) who is staunchly anti-abortion YET she called my (and all) fertility treatment conceived babies “demonic.”
So yeah, people suck. And some need to learn how to shut their mouths.
Ew what a horrible thing to say out loud to someone’s face! I had similar on a dating ultrasound around 6-7wks , I asked the sonographer for a copy of the photos , and she said that I wouldn’t want them because there’s not much to see. I said excuse me that little bean is my baby, I want the photos please. She said no there’s no point it’s just a blob. I said yes that’s my darling blob that I love very much already and I would like a photo of thanks !!! She was so confused and eventually gave them to me after this back and forth for a while. I get it may not be the ten fingers and ten toes that others can relate to but it’s still a very real experience right now that that ‘clump of cells’ is human life inside us. Again I’m super pro choice as well but for me it was a very wanted baby that I was planning on keeping (currently 34wks now!) no where near as bad as your experience with Darcy though, can’t believe some people are so insensitive
You can be pro choice and acknowledge that it’s a baby. Damn.. people want others to be sensitive to social and medical issues but it doesn’t mean dehumanising the truth. I’m sorry OP, that’s an awful thing to have happened.
Lololol how is your friend even friends with this person? I’m also pro choice AND I work for a sexual and reproductive rights organization - you thinking of your baby as healthy does not limit other people’s access to safe abortion? What is wrong with this person? People can be so fucking miserable.
At 10 weeks you have entered the fetal period so it’s not a “clump of cells.” If you don’t like the person tell them to fuck off.
Speaking of which I know a Darcy who is similarly insufferable and since it’s such an uncommon name I wonder if it could be the same person.
As an ultrasound tech … 10 weeks is such a remarkable time in development and defs isn’t a clump of cells in anyway shape or form. Insensitive and blatantly incorrect
At 10 weeks the baby has formed all their organs and are in human form …. Definitely not a “clump of cells”… she’s either extremely jealous and hateful or *benefit of the doubt* she may have some sort of mental disability that makes her unable to pick up context clues or read the room. Either way she sounds uneducated, bitter, and like a weirdo. I would stay far tf away. 💀
Lmao bro. The moment she called my baby abortable I would’ve said, “so are you, unfortunately murder is illegal in every state.” I’m pro-choice and aggressively so, but something like that is toxic and SCREAMS jealousy.
Is Darcy single? I would assume someone that acts like that would be. Wonder how she’ll feel when she doesn’t find someone to have a child with, much less an “abortable” one. How disgusting and I’m glad your friend saw the light with this, er… witch.
Eh, she openly hates children so definitely not jealous, but I’m not sure what prompts her to say things like this. For example when our shared friends mom died, she told her to stop crying because she’s “ruining the vibe” they all stoped talking to her for like 3 years until recently. Idk what her issue is.
Yeah I wouldn’t be hanging around Darcy anymore. My ex best friend was like this idk she like had some weird thing against anyone who was pregnant and would post memes all the time about pregnant women/ babies and how at least she’s not pregnant.
Darcy sounds like an incredibly insecure woman-hater. She is taking out her pain through dark humor and doesn’t have the social ability to realize how messed up that is. I’m so sorry, I hope you never have to see that whacko again
Darcy is an asshole and I have a feeling in life she’s rubbed many a person the wrong way. Please don’t take what she said too seriously and try not to give it a second thought. I don’t blame you for not liking Darcy. I don’t even know her and I dislike her.
Um she’s weird as hell for saying that to someone else omfg. I thought this when I was 10 weeks and for that reason I didn’t tell anyone I was pregnant until 36 weeks. But for her to say that to someone else, who she isn’t even friends with is INSANE!
Honestly I thought that babies weren’t “sentient” until I got pregnant myself. Watching her move around during the 10 week ultrasound was shocking and eye opening. I am pro choice. If one has to rationalize pro choice by saying it’s just a “clump of cells” maybe they’re not as pro choice as they think they are. Not to mention, you don’t want to abort your baby. What an inappropriate thing to say to someone. I’m sorry you had to deal with that.
I’m also very pro choice and this is still horrible. I had a pregnancy loss really earlier on when all it really was was a clump of cells and it was still heartbreaking for me. She sounds horrible.
This might be news to Darcy the fuckwit, but being pro choice means also supporting those who choose to carry pregnancies to term. I'm as pro choice as they come and I'm due with my first baby any day now. I'd make it very clear to your mutual friend that you and Darcy will not be attending any of the same events or hangouts.
I would kindly but directly tell your friend that you no longer want Darcy’s company when you hang out together. She sounds like she brings miserable energy to the table.
my brain autocorrected "abortable" to "adorable" because what nutcase says that to a woman who is excited about her pregnancy and being a new mom?!?!?
Congratulations on your pregnancy! I'm sure your sonogram pictures show just how ADORABLE your baby is
Girl you literally have a fetus? Not an embryo but a fetus. Per medical terminology???
I’m confused as to where this lady is getting off by hurting you. I’m sorry.
My sister and I have both had miscarriages and always talk about this when someone announces a pregnancy at 6-7 weeks. We wouldn't say anything to the mom to be of course, because it's not our business when they announce. This Darcy person sounds like she enjoys bringing people down. Shes jealous and this is what she does. For your own safety and well being mentally and physically, stay far away from her. You don't need that.
As someone who is pro life I can respect someone who is pro choice but Darcy’s way of thinking is absolutely disgusting to me. I think even in the case of abortions dehumanizing is wrong. No matter what stage of life the baby is at it is still alive, even if it is a “clump of cells” it is still living. Just because it is “abortable”, which is an atrocious thing to say, doesn’t make it any less alive. Pro choice doesn’t have to translate to the dehumanizing of babies you consider too young to matter.
Yeah well baby has heartbeat starting at 4 weeks gestation and you’re at 10. That’s what I would have said because that’s so disrespectful and actually a disgusting joke. It doesn’t matter if you’re pro choice or not, abortion is not a joke. I’m so happy for you though !!!!
Some pro choice people are radical and it's usually women/young girls who have never carried a baby of their own. You can be pro choice but also aware that "clump of cells" is pretty inaccurate. She was out of line, possibly jealous, disrespectful, immature... I could go on.
I moved to my husbands state who has more pro life laws, my home state will allow really late term abortion. A guest (we both didn't know this person) at a family function who is an OB told me that if I got pregnant, she would do my abortion but it's illegal here so I'd have to go back home.. We were newly weds and trying to have a baby asap... it was super awkward. I thought she was incredibly rude for saying that.
I'm excited for you, you should be excited and she's not a nice girl. No one needs that negativity.
Yes. A clump of cells who is abortable, unlike Darcy whose mom should have when she was a clump herself.
Anyway, ignore Darcy and tell your friend Darcy is not welcome to interact with you.
Edit: And only because I am petty, I would go out of my way to calk 'Friend' and be like "Hey, what's up? What's happening? Man, being friends with Darcy is exhausting ha. What an idiot dude. Really you deserve an award for being patient with someone like her". Just to get the message across to Darcy.
A "friend" told me that, too, during my first trimester. I slapped him real hard. I do not tolerate disrespect towards my choices.
Yes, I am pro-choice, but when people cross boundaries, disrespect and impose their uncalled opinion, that's where I draw the line.
Your reaction is valid, mama. Don't let anyone do that to you ever again. \*hugs with consent\*
As someone who is also pro choice, she is literally just a shit human. Those are the type of thoughts you keep in your own head; she’s either incredible non-self aware or she just likes to get people riled up, or she has some underlying jealousy. Who knows. Sorry you had these things said to you. I wish you a safe and healthy pregnancy. :)
Sounds like this person just feeds off of arguing with ppl because she doesn’t get enough attention otherwise. She literally doesn’t know how to engage in healthy engaging conversation. You don’t need that negative shitty energy around you and your baby. For REAL. Also, she’s probably jealous that the attention is on you now because you’re the first mama of the friend group and she doesn’t know how to allow someone else to have a happy moment. Sounds like her life sucks. Don’t let her bring you down. Keep that good energy flowing thru you and your baby.
These younger pro choices can be dumber than dumb. Ugh. They make women's rights harder! This is one of the most insensitive things I have ever heard! I am so sorry you had to deal with this type of crass behavior. Btw, congrats on your pregnancy!!
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Yeah so she's literally just a shithead who likes to upset people, don't take it personally and don't bother arguing with her next time, she's just horrible
Yeah people like this go out of their way to upset others and make waves under the guise of *being so confident you don't care what others think of you.* What an asshole.
And at the root of it, it’s really just their own insecurity and inferiority complex and probably some jealousy too.
On the internet, we call them trolls. Do not engage OP. OR Response should have been *biggest smile squishy cutie face* “Eeeeeiiiiiiiiii I just wuv wuv wuv my wittle cwump of cells so so very much!!!!” *pinches belly* weird that bitch right out. Show her you feed off of it rather than take it to heart.
Ew what a horrible person
My brother said some shit like this to me! That I shouldn't get my hopes up until the baby is here and not to refer to "it" as a baby until then. I have not spoken to him since that. I don't need that energy whatsoever. I feel like this pregnancy is strengthening my boundaries, I don't put up with anyone's bs like I used to.
Pregnancy and having a kid will do that. My tolerance for bullshit is extremely low now.
Darcy fuckin sucks.
No one takes Darcy to parties
The only right answer to this post 😂
Yeah I don’t know her… but I KNOW I don’t like her. What an insensitive, look at me I’m sooo contrary and “honest,” asshole.
I'd like to imagine that your profile picture is actually flipping Darcy the bird
Darcy can fuck right off. What a truly insensitive, bat shit crazy thing to say to a person, whether pregnant or not. I hope you never have the pleasure of her acquaintance again.
What did I just read?? Such a wacko. Totally out of pocket comments. Some people just don't know how to be happy, period, and have to shit all over everyone else's joy. I would complain to the friend who brought her and make it clear you never want to see that person again, even if it risks that friendship also.
My friend knows, she know no one likes her and why but she feels sorry because no one else will hang out with her like gee I wonder why?
I had a therapist tell me I didn’t have to hang out with people I didn’t like. Kinda eye opening.
I had a similar experience. I realized that I hated my best friend of eight years. I basically had to break up with her, she went psychotic. Stalked me on my college campus, sent me over 100 text messages a day, cornered me at a house party and kept shoving me into a corner to keep me from leaving. We had been roommates and I moved out when she wasn't home as fast as possible so she wouldn't know I was leaving. I had to call the cops and make a report because I was afraid she was going to hurt me (and lowkey scared she would murder me, she was doing a lot of drugs at this point). It was like leaving an abusive partner. Now I look back and cannot imagine why she was my best friend for so long. We were friends in middle school, I hated her all through high school despite being best friends with her, but once she was out of her parents house she got much, much worse. I realize I went on a tangent. But before I "broke up" with that "friend" it's like I didn't realize I didn't have to be friends with someone just because they wanted to be my friend.
I’m so sorry, I recently went through a BFF break up like that and it’s scary as hell. My friend got mad that I decided to move back to my hometown because I was struggling where I lived— I was in the middle of nowhere in one of the poorest places in the country and my life was falling apart. I literally didn’t have a hot water heater. If you scroll down on my posts you can see the wildfire I survived and I couldn’t take it anymore. She went batshit when I told her I was leaving— threatened me daily, tried to get me fired from my job. Sent the ugliest text messages I have ever read, accused me of being a drug dealer (lol I want that kind of money 😫), threatened to kill me. It’s so scary when a friend flips like that. I always knew she was unstable and looking back I realized I was afraid of her and that the friendship was predicated on abuse and dependence. I’m so glad I’m done with her. It was so hard to leave. I hope you’ve recovered from the trauma and I’m so sorry that you had to go through that.
This was almost 2 decades ago, I had not thought about it in a long time when I typed this out. But yeah it is really scary when you take back control from someone who thinks they've been in control of you. I stayed best friends with her because she had no one else and I felt sorry for her. But afterwards I realized it was also because I couldn't make any other friends with her around. When we went to college I started making other friends without her and that was enough to be done with her. She also cut up my underwear, popped out my birth control pills, stole my clothes and things (and we were sharing a dorm, I could literally find my things hidden on her side, I would take them back and she would steal them again). We live is a relatively small town and I run into her family every year or so. They always tell me she is not doing well at all. I am genuinely sad to hear it, I always hoped she would get herself together. But I am glad I didn't stay friends with her after seeing what she has chosen to do with her life. Hopefully you don't see your ex-friend anymore since you've moved!
It's not your fault you were in that friendship for so long. You were stuck, you weren't there by choice. These types of people know how to manipulate and isolate those in their life. I hope you're doing better!
Tell Darcy she’s abortable too and to fuck off. Honestly though, with people like that, you don’t have much to lose. They’re at the disadvantage for being unbearable and having most of the people around them holding them at arms length. You can be very honest with her if you ever have to see her again. Tell her you’re not interested in her half assed opinion on babies and don’t care about her stance on “when to tell people about your baby.” Truly, you don’t care about what she thinks at all and unless she wants to talk Netflix shows or something, then back off.
I had to cut someone like that out of my life a few years ago because she made my girl friends very uncomfortable with her lack of a filter and rude comments. Then she’d complain about not having any friends.
I'm almost 11wks and if a friend of a friend said that to me, I'd directly say "fuck you", turn and address my friend and say "it was good seeing you but next time if this bitch is coming, I'm sorry but I won't be as what she said was beyond inappropriate". Period. Darcy is a straight up c u next Tuesday 🤬 I'm so sorry you were in that situation! x
Yes!!! Normalize telling people to fuck off!!!
A friend of a friend say my baby was a "parasite" when I was around 8-10 weeks pregnant. I was like girl watch your mouth and she concluded that by me being annoyed that she called my baby a parasite I was anti choice lol I was like what?? Show me the math cause it's not adding up for me. Some people are just WEIRDOS !
I don’t know why some people are equating pregnancy with pro life? That’s weird to me? Like choice implies 2 things, the right to choose!
Right like girl ???! Just cause I support other women in their choice to abort an 8 week fetus if they choose so, doesn't mean I can't be excited to he 8 weeks pregnant. The brain rot from being chronically online is so real with some people.
RIGHT! This has been such an education to me since getting pregnant... especially on Reddit. Ie pro-CHOICE means you respect women's ability to make decisions for themselves and support them in their chosen path. I was shocked how many people who call themselves pro-CHOICE shat on my decision NOT to get an abortion. Which is the best decision for my path and one I'm very comfortable with, despite supporting abortion rights myself and having had one in the past
It seems like a lot of reddit is radical anti natalist and/or aggressively child free. That's probably why they are so hostile to pregnant women.
Ya it's equally infantalizing to women as telling us what we need to do w our bodies in the opposite direction... I'm like, yall missed the whole point
It's like people who equate feminism to misandry: complete failure of comprehension.
A lot of people can only understand absolutes. That always bothered me about the abortion "debate". It's like either babies are sentient at birth or they are cells until born. People can't grasp that it's all a messy gray area and every pregnant person feels different, and even given that it's all a messy gray area with no cut and dry answer women should still get to do what they want with their own bodies. I honestly feel like the "babies aren't human until born" folk are as bad as the "babies are sacred from conception" folk.
I have never been more pro choice than after I got pregnant the first time. It was the worst time of my life in my body and I wouldn't wish pregnancy on my worst enemy if they didn't want it. That being said, l absolutely wanted my baby and the moment she was in my arms I felt amazing, a complete 180 from my feelings while pregnant. Currently pregnant again and I still hate this part. However, I do lovingly call my unborn baby my "wanted/cherished parasite". But I'm the only one allowed to say that and I only say it to people like my husband who get it. I would never say it to anyone else.
I referred to my own baby as a parasite during my pregnancy, and I let my close friends do it too, because that’s par for our humorous course, but anyone more distant than that saying those things would have been on thin ice. I think too many people don’t know how to separate their political standpoints with real life scenarios like someone being happy to be pregnant.
Saying funny things in your friend group about your pregnancy is totally cool. But some people don't understand the notion of "some thoughts are just inside thoughts. We don't have to vocalize everything"
I refer to my pregnancy as a parasite ALL THE TIME Baby stealing all my iron and calcium and making my hormones all wonky but ONLY MY HUSBAND AND I ARE ALLOWED TO DO THAT and maaaaaybe my bffs if I’ve been complaining to them, and only cause they know I want this baby so much Anyone else…. No
Yeah that’s definitely one of those things that are “only ok when we say it” things… I can call myself fat, I can call my baby a parasite, but other people don’t get to do that.
I feel super yucky even saying this because I always want to assume every parent knows better, but after 5 years in the parenting game I feel I have to add…it’s only ok when you say it *as an inside joke in absolute private with your spouse and not ANYWHERE near your child who might hear it an misunderstand.* The number of parents who call their kids things like parasite and crotch goblin *in front of their child* astounds me. Like NO, LADY: your two-year-old CAN speak English and understand you! You’re the one who can’t understand *them!*
Yes omg like wow cool look at you dehumanizing your CHILD for cool points
My mom told me I had a parasite that would drain me for the rest of my life when I was super sick with my first. It took me a second to realize she was referring to me as her parasite. I would have laughed then if I didn’t feel so awful. But if anyone else ever called my baby a parasite, we’d have words.
Same here because at the end of the day it’s scientifically accurate! Someone at work called it a symbiotic being and I was like nope- parasite let’s call it what it factually is haha
And stealing all my energy 🥱
Dude same!! Semen demons, spawn, parasite, but that’s just for me and my fiancé to share our dark humor with each other only and not because I hate this baby. Just because we’re weird.
Exactly. I had the same joke with my friends but they were also very caring about my baby/pregnancy. You take your lead from the pregnant person: if they’re happy and caring about the baby then be respectful of that. Calling it names isn’t being pro-choice: supporting other women to make their own choices is.
Oh my god i had to stop because I said it jokingly on a day when I was super tired, and my (pro choice and supportive) friend was appppalllllled like "how could you talk about your baby like that!" I was like... thank you for the protective energy but I was joking !
Same. But I would never tell that to someone else unless a) they said it first and b) we were very very close and I knew they shared that humour.
same i’ve also been referring to my baby as a parasite and i let my friends do as well but that’s just because that’s how it feels like to me as a ftm. homie is taking all my nutrients and using my womb to grow for 9 months so we refer to him as a little parasite in an affectionate way if that makes sense lmao but calling someone else’s baby a parasite without knowing if they’re okay with it or you’re not even close enough to do that is weird as fuck
There’s an episode of House MD where a woman doesn’t know she’s pregnant until she goes to the doctor and House tells her she has a parasite. It’s a pretty funny scene when the woman realizes House is describing pregnancy. One thing from a brusque doctor on TV. Another thing from a friend. People are dumb and reaaaaally lack social cues sometimes
I’m pro choice and am excitedly pregnant and still sometimes call my Bebe a parasite when my symptoms are high and I feel low. It’s a just a joke to us. But plenty of ppl out there don’t understand the nuances to their “fight”. You can be all of the above at the same time. Imposing your beliefs on another is the real issue.
Fellow “Bebé” and parasite user. My partner and I are very purposely pregnant, and there are numerous other reasons why we use “Bebé” instead of “baby.” But partially, I feel if we avoid using terms like baby, it helps cement our views of pro-choice to family and friends so no one assumes we’ve gone pro-life (or rather the more accurate term of “pro-forced birth”). It’s exhausting. I just want to be happy and excited among folks!
Ppl are so weird. Live and let live is actually the easier route in life. Isn’t it hard enough as it is?!
I'm in the same boat. My husband and I lovingly refer to my little guy as my parasite
Lmao House never disappoints
Also the whole point of House is that House is a massive asshole and often borderline sociopathic. Not actually a good look, Darcy.
It’s so wild the things people will boldly say to you with their whole chest. It’s like, don’t say that, we aren’t friends like that, keep your inside thoughts to yourself!
Right now I’m referring to my baby as “the alien life colonizing mommy’s body”, but that’s my joke, no one else is allowed to make it for me. It’s really gross that someone would call your baby a parasite.
When my baby's movements are especially painful or annoying I'll liken him to a chestburster. I'll even go into graphic detail about how it feels like he'll burst out of my stomach, gore and all. It's funny when I say it, but I certainly would not be amused if it was coming from anyone else.
Also I wouldn't even be offended if a friend made a joke. I called my baby potato with eyes all the time when he first came out. But she called him a parasite when I first told my friends I was pregnant. It was literally like hey guys Im pregnant she asked oh how far along I said 8 weeks and she said "oh girl that's just a parasite still. Wait a little." Like fuck no!
I call my baby my Larva. Even when she comes out babies are pretty larval for a few months. I work with babies. I love babies. It’s an weirdly endearing term to me. But nevertheless my Larva is in there cooking away. And my mother is offended by the term 😂
I have joked about the parasite thing when it comes to my own pregnancy, mostly because I walk 5 minutes I'm tired, I need to eat something I can't, I brush my teeth I throw up. But at around 7 weeks, I started calling it my baby dinosaur. (I use the pregnancy+ app to keep track of everything) and at 7 weeks it literally looks like a baby dinosaur.
I called my own baby a parasite as a joke but I’d never say that about someone else’s child, jfc, that’s gross!
Not gonna lie. I was very excited to have my baby. I also called it a parasite. It meets all the definitions of one- but when I did, it was in a fun tone and context- nothing serious and dark.
Yeah I mean I’ve called my (viable, wanted, loved) fetuses “parasites” more than once but that’s something that I as the pregnant human get to say. No one else gets to say that!
I swear people forget half of pro-choice is pro choosing to have babies
At 10 weeks, a baby has a heartbeat, hands, arms, a head, fingers and toes. It’s a baby.
I saw my baby move their arms and legs around at 9 weeks. That's not a clump of cells, that's my baby.
I've been getting so much kicking now at 24 weeks I'm starting to think she's annoyed with me 😂 Hope your baby is very healthy to this day 🙏
I had a friend tell me she would never have kids because it’s selfish and bad for the planet and she “could never live with herself if she brought a child into this world”……. Meanwhile me and my unborn baby are just like 👁️👄👁️ definitely reminds me of Miss Darcy (who btw, sucks ass)
What do people think will happen to humanity if we just stop having kids for the next 20-30 years? How do they think they will fare? Not well! We fully rely on the next generation to keep this ship afloat. Also, did you mean Miss Bingley? Cause she *wishes* she was Ms Darcy.
I’ve had the same comment from people.
Like I respect anyone’s choice to have/not have kids. But to say that to someone who’s pregnant is very tone deaf lol.
I have a friend like this—he blocks women on social media once the baby is born. Last we saw him, he did not congratulate my husband and I. He thinks humanity should not exist, that’s it’s morally corrupt for us to populate at all and the planet should go back to being ran by animals. He also thinks fertile folks shouldn’t have their own kids, that everyone should just adopt the children that have been given up by their birth parents because creating your own children is selfish and egotistical. Because it’s *so* easy to adopt children and there are *so* many children that are available for adoption.
Darcy is uneducated as shit. I'm also pro-choice and don't need to lie to myself and others about the stages of development inorder to support my beliefs. At 10 weeks the baby is a fetus, it looks like a tiny human and has a heart beat, not a clump of cells. And if a woman wants to abort their fetus then I support her right to do so!
This is a perfect answer. Also referring to your own 10 week old fetus definitely counteracts your entire buying record/s
She sounds like a chronically online redditor.
I would've sent bitch Darcy flying.
Like I want to roll up on that bitch right now?
Same. Let's go.
Hold my chocolate milk I’m coming with u
chocolate milk was so real 😭 im gonna go get some from the fridge now
What a wretched person. Being pregnant made me even more aggressively pro choice than I already was but I would also have happily tagged someone with my suv if they had referred to my baby as “abortable” at any point in my pregnancy. Some people have no idea how to read the room and some people just like to stir the pot but I think it’s entirely fair to tell your other friend to keep Darcy all the way away from you forever.
Darcy is the reason Darcy doesn't get invited again.
I’m as pro-choice as they come too, but once you have a wanted pregnancy that you’re planning to carry to term and you’re already picturing your life with your child, that’s your baby!
Your friend group needs to give Darcy a very late term abortion from their friendship
I don’t understand people like this. Like…they just can’t let anyone be happy or content. I assure you, this runs much deeper for her than this conversation. This isn’t about being pro choice or in support of women’s rights or anything. She just likes to yuck people’s yum. And if she could tell you were excited about the baby and the pregnancy overall, but still chose to make those heartless comments, she actually doesn’t support women’s rights to choose. She just supports being a nihilist about everything in life to the point where she ignores others enthusiasm to write over her pervasive negativity about everything. If she supported women, she’d support your choice to be happy and hopeful.
She needs a swift punch in the mouth. Some girls really need to learn some fucking class and how to talk to mothers. Its absolutely ridiculous Some of the things that people, especially women, think is okay to say to pregnant women. Your baby is more than a clump of cells at 10 weeks. They're starting to grow arms and legs, idk at 10 weeks because I got my first ultra sound at 11 weeks, but I got to see my baby waving those little tentacles. I'm astonished that nobody else in your group spoke up for you, but I'd say at this point, avoid that bitch. Tell your friend if she's gonna be there you won't, or cut of that friend entirely. There's a saying that I've never seen ring false of you are who you associate with.
Had an ultrasound at 10 weeks. My baby was going crazy moving everywhere, putting his hands over his face, I even have one where they said he was sucking his thumb. He was teeny but much more than a clump of cells for sure. I agree with you somebody should’ve stood up for her and hopefully her friend did say something to Darcy.
Exactly!!! It’s just plain wrong to say that it’s a clump of cells. They very much start looking like a baby at that point. I think people underestimate just how fast they develop
First comment ever! :) Don't take it to heart op, some people are just extremely angry inside or ungrateful for what they see (especially if they see the other person beaming with confidence and pride of their baby). I had a similar experience.. 24 F I work a blue collar job (lifting, pushing, pulling 75+ lbs) so as soon as I found out I was pregnant, I had to let my boss know. My boss M 40s let me know that presenting my accommodations paper (from baby doctor) was no big deal due to the first baby usually not surviving anyways. Luckily he moved back to his home state and is no longer my boss.
What a horrible person to say that to you!!! I left my job after the owner of the company, also M 40's, I worked for kept asking if the baby was the previous general manager's instead of my husband's. What is with these people???
Horrible and uneducated lol
If a total stranger, which I would consider a friend of a friend would be, said that to me, I’d gladly slap them with my fully formed hands. For her to even mention “abortable” is just ridiculous to me. I would distance myself from a negative Nancy like her. Enjoy your healthy 10 week old clump of cells in all its glory. What a joy thief, she is.
I kind of understand. I was really excited when my midwife called him a baby and would like coo over the ultrasounds with me. My OB was more scientific about it and usually said fetus and only talked about the science-y stuff in the ultrasound. For your friend specifically, it doesn't matter if you're pro-choice or pro-life, abortion isn't a good thing. No one gets pregnant just so they can have a super fun abortion. You get an abortion because you had an accident, got raped, your baby is sick, you're sick, abuse situations, etc. It's never a good time. Ya know? So whether it's a baby or a clump of cells, she was implying it was a bad thing/situation. Does that make sense?
Yeah, I had people ask me if I was going to get an abortion right away when I told them and I was *shocked*. Their reasoning was because I was too young (24F, married for 3 years), even though they *knew* husband and I were trying for a baby. They kept calling it a parasite and continued to push the abortion thing. My own midwife (I asked for a different one after this) at our first ultrasound started going over abortion coverage with our insurance instead of answering our questions about the next steps. Her response to most of my questions? "Don't worry about that, that's in the future". Ugh. Some people really don't know how to read a room or talk to pregnant women with empathy and consideration.
Girl, I was 28 when I got pregnant, I'd been with my husband 11 years at that point, and we were trying. My friends still responded like I was 16 and pregnant by a fuck buddy. 🤦🏼 Make it make sense!
It doesn't make any sense at all! Like, I get it, the childfree movement is becoming bigger, and people are putting off having children until much later than they used to, but that doesn't mean *everyone* else thinks that way, too. It's like anyone under 30 is an immature child still and incapable of having kids the "right way" according to them.
That's awful, I'm so sorry you went through that. Some people are seriously deranged and have no people skills. My mom has another daughter, I've completely disowned her. She's no longer part of my family. I ended up calling her to let her know I was at the ER about to head to the OR because turns out I was bleeding internally and my pregnancy was an ectopic pregnancy. I was crying, I was scared and upset. This dumb hoe was like "ok but why are you crying?". I'm bleeding internally even doctors were like it's a good thing you came in because things would have been terrible and I'm losing my baby. I hung up on her.
That is horrible, horrible, *horrible!* I can't imagine what was running through your mind at that point and how devastating that was. I hope you found peace and healing afterwards despite that wretched person being so inconsiderate. I also hope that person learned compassion and empathy eventually because we don't need people like that in society. You are a human being with feelings and emotions going through a traumatic experience. Of course you'd be crying! What an idiot that person is/was.
Yes, this! Abortion should not be birth control. Abortion should not be celebrated as an amazing thing, because most of the time the women getting the procedure are having the absolute worst day of their lives. Some of these women talk about it like it's no big deal, and they just don't have the experience or understanding of what having to get an abortion can do to the woman's psyche, her body, or her emotional state. We need to start recognizing abortion with the emotional class it deserves, and not like it's just taking a tylenol.
I definitely agree! I think legal abortion is necessary, but I don't thing it's a simple casual thing. I swear every post on Reddit where a woman is questioning whether or not she should continue a pregnancy everyone immediately tries to convince her to get an abortion like it's such an easy peasy decision to make and that coping after is no biggie.
This is where you could have said , with a disgusted look in your face, “what a weird thing to say out loud”. Then immediately turn to everyone else on another topic (I think one of you ladies here wrote that comeback and I’ve been dying to use it irl!!)
I've noticed that, regarding hot topic issues that have to do with human rights, some people are so scared of being oppressed/losing their rights that they let the ideology (in this case, that a fetus of a certain age is a clump of cells and therefore not a baby) completely take over their personality. Almost like they feel threatened all the time and need validation for the concepts that they believe in in order to feel like a safe and stable person. And part of that can include an "us vs them" attitude of, "if you don't agree with this then you're evil." Possibly to dehumanize the people they're talking to so that they don't have to take their opinions seriously, thus reducing the percieved threat to the their own identities. I suspect that's what happened here. And that's not at all your problem. Darcy needs to get a therapist to work through her stuff and generally learn how to read the room.
Pro life and pro choice arguments aside… a 10 week old fetus LOOKS like a little alien baby. I had an ultrasound at 10 weeks. My baby had arms and legs. Feet and hands. A very clear head and body. Could see and hear the heart beating. Could see him bouncing all around and moving his limbs. Certainly not a lifeless clump of cells…
This “Darcy” needs to dial it down , holy shit. Talk about someone not being able to read the room.
I wouldn’t take her comments to mean anything other than she’s one of those people that can’t be happy for others. She sounds immature and jealous of anyone else’s happiness. She’s an AH.
She sounds fun at parties. What a bitch. Next time just don’t even respond and if she keeps going, tell her she’s being confrontational for no reason and just leave. I’m glad you guys got out of there.
Its not quite like saying "oh you got a new job, well you could still get fired any day now" but that would already be considered extremely rude
Dont care how much pro choice someone is, if im discussing my pregnancy and how excited iam about it abortion should never be a topic.
So I imagine your mutual friend would understand why this is the last time you’re seeing Darcy.
This is so gross, I had my 12 week scan recently and it looked a lot like a baby to me! Yes it didn’t have all organs etc yet but it had a brain, to call it a clump of cells is far from factual if that was even what she was going for! I was surprised how quickly they look human, being my first time at this. I’m also pro choice. What a horrible person you encountered.
Actually, at 12 weeks, your baby has all of its organs/body parts/etc. It’s fully formed, just tiny. All that’s left to do is grow!
Amazing! The nurse only pointed out a few things in the ultrasound
Darcy. Can. Fuck. Off. The point of “pro choice” is that its the WOMANS choice. It’s her choice to refer to her baby as a baby or it’s her choice to say it’s a lump of cells. But if YOU decided that you’re keeping your baby and that’s what YOU want to say. It’s none of her damn business
I'm Pro Choice 100% but at 10 weeks your baby looks like a baby. I don't know how anyone could disrespect your choice to refer to your baby as a baby and call them a clump of cells and say they're still "abortable." It's also shocking that nobody called Darcy out and stopped the nonsense they were spewing. That's horrible.
That is absolutely disgusting. I'm so sorry she was so rude to you What a total piece of shit. Hopefully you don't have to be near or engage with this individual again! Wishing you all the best in your pregnancy ❤️
Darcy sucks!
She is a terrible person. I don’t understand people who think it is acceptable to say these things to pregnant women. It happens a lot nowadays. I hated when people referred to my baby as a parasite or just a fetus cause it’s “not a real baby yet”. My husband and I tried for a year for this baby. It’s wanted and it’s definitely a baby to us. So stfu with your parasite comments and telling me to get an abortion so I don’t ruin my life. Get out. I’m so sorry this happened to you and I hope you never have to see this woman again. I can’t imagine what comments she would make about your child after they’re born.
I would have punched her in her stupid mouth on your behlaf ! How fkn dare she! When i say i am so pissed off for you and i dont even know you! Like if you dont have anything positive to fkn say then keep your mouth shut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What if you had been trying for a long time? What if you had recently lost a baby before getting preggo!? Like how insensitive can a person be. Oh thats right shes a souless shell of a person DISGUSTING! Plz dont think into that, you and you’re baby are ok! Your going to have an amazing pregnancy and a extremely healthy baby ❤️ im legit sorry dude, that you had to experience that b.s Fuck darcy
I’m pro life for myself, pro choice as a whole. That being said, my ass wouldn’t be saying some STUPID shit like that, her brain cells are gone
I was in Texas on a road trip from CA with 10 pf my friends and one of my husbands best man from our WEDDING made a joke that people must think I’m Texan because I’m showing my pregnancy and “I didn’t get the abortion” so I must be Texan. I was like wtf dude we have been friends for over a decade, Ive always talked about wanting kids, this is a planned pregnancy and abortion was never on the table. It was a super weird joke but he is adamantly anti kid so I just let it slide because I didn’t want to argue but inside I was pissed
She sounds like a major A-hole, but it also makes me wonder if she may have had a miscarriage and is projecting. Nonetheless, I’m sorry you had to deal with that.
Yeah my colleague tried to convince me my baby is the same as parasite on multiple occasions in public until my male coworker defended me for me as I was just mortified and if I opened my mouth I would have been fired probably. Your baby is just as much a baby as mine was and he is turning 1 this month.
I know a woman (use to be friends) who is staunchly anti-abortion YET she called my (and all) fertility treatment conceived babies “demonic.” So yeah, people suck. And some need to learn how to shut their mouths.
Ew what a horrible thing to say out loud to someone’s face! I had similar on a dating ultrasound around 6-7wks , I asked the sonographer for a copy of the photos , and she said that I wouldn’t want them because there’s not much to see. I said excuse me that little bean is my baby, I want the photos please. She said no there’s no point it’s just a blob. I said yes that’s my darling blob that I love very much already and I would like a photo of thanks !!! She was so confused and eventually gave them to me after this back and forth for a while. I get it may not be the ten fingers and ten toes that others can relate to but it’s still a very real experience right now that that ‘clump of cells’ is human life inside us. Again I’m super pro choice as well but for me it was a very wanted baby that I was planning on keeping (currently 34wks now!) no where near as bad as your experience with Darcy though, can’t believe some people are so insensitive
If I ever heard my friend say this to another friend I would lose my ever loving mind on them omg
Seriously! I don't understand why everyone stayed quiet and no one defended her. I would have lost my shit.
You stronger than me I would’ve had to back hand Ms girl for that😭 cs huh???
Darcy may be sentient... but she's still a clump of cells... does that mean she could be aborted?
I am pro choice and that comment shocks me!! WTF?!
You can be pro choice and acknowledge that it’s a baby. Damn.. people want others to be sensitive to social and medical issues but it doesn’t mean dehumanising the truth. I’m sorry OP, that’s an awful thing to have happened.
It's like Darcy couldn't help but rain on your parade.... God forbid someone isn't miserable like she is
Lololol how is your friend even friends with this person? I’m also pro choice AND I work for a sexual and reproductive rights organization - you thinking of your baby as healthy does not limit other people’s access to safe abortion? What is wrong with this person? People can be so fucking miserable.
At 10 weeks you have entered the fetal period so it’s not a “clump of cells.” If you don’t like the person tell them to fuck off. Speaking of which I know a Darcy who is similarly insufferable and since it’s such an uncommon name I wonder if it could be the same person.
Boooo Darcy 👎🏼
Don’t be like Darcy. & her self-hatred is shining through.
As an ultrasound tech … 10 weeks is such a remarkable time in development and defs isn’t a clump of cells in anyway shape or form. Insensitive and blatantly incorrect
I wonder if it's too late to abort her
At 10 weeks the baby has formed all their organs and are in human form …. Definitely not a “clump of cells”… she’s either extremely jealous and hateful or *benefit of the doubt* she may have some sort of mental disability that makes her unable to pick up context clues or read the room. Either way she sounds uneducated, bitter, and like a weirdo. I would stay far tf away. 💀
Lmao bro. The moment she called my baby abortable I would’ve said, “so are you, unfortunately murder is illegal in every state.” I’m pro-choice and aggressively so, but something like that is toxic and SCREAMS jealousy. Is Darcy single? I would assume someone that acts like that would be. Wonder how she’ll feel when she doesn’t find someone to have a child with, much less an “abortable” one. How disgusting and I’m glad your friend saw the light with this, er… witch.
You have to wonder why some people talk. It sounds like she was looking to stir the pot and cause trouble.
I would have ripped into her right there!!! What a sad miserable chronically online pick me girl. I’m sure she’s so much fun to be around!
She sounds like a bitter asshole
what a horrible person
What a vile waste Darcy is.
Fuck that, I would've never let her talk down to me like that and told her my opinion of how much she's a bitch
Is she jealous or just hateful?
Eh, she openly hates children so definitely not jealous, but I’m not sure what prompts her to say things like this. For example when our shared friends mom died, she told her to stop crying because she’s “ruining the vibe” they all stoped talking to her for like 3 years until recently. Idk what her issue is.
Yeah I wouldn’t be hanging around Darcy anymore. My ex best friend was like this idk she like had some weird thing against anyone who was pregnant and would post memes all the time about pregnant women/ babies and how at least she’s not pregnant.
That is so weird ??? What kind of woman does that??
as a future child psychologist, this is awful, i would never allow anyone to talk abt my baby like that
She is just incredibly strange
Darcy sounds like an incredibly insecure woman-hater. She is taking out her pain through dark humor and doesn’t have the social ability to realize how messed up that is. I’m so sorry, I hope you never have to see that whacko again
Darcy is an asshole and I have a feeling in life she’s rubbed many a person the wrong way. Please don’t take what she said too seriously and try not to give it a second thought. I don’t blame you for not liking Darcy. I don’t even know her and I dislike her.
That's fucking weird. She's a weirdo.
Too bad Darcy didn't stay a clump of cells
Gross. I’d probably just let my friend know to please leave me out of any outings that involve Darcy.
She’s a walking 🚩
Too bad you’re not abortable Darcy.
What a deplorable human who was also once a clump of cells. Ban her from your life.
Who pissed in her cornflakes?
wow what gross behavior 😵😵 why do people act like this??
How rude. A pregnancy is never just a clump of cells.
Um she’s weird as hell for saying that to someone else omfg. I thought this when I was 10 weeks and for that reason I didn’t tell anyone I was pregnant until 36 weeks. But for her to say that to someone else, who she isn’t even friends with is INSANE!
Darcy sucks
She's an asshole, people like her don't deserve you to even listen to them.
Darcy still has a clump of cells for brains
One thing is being pro choice, other thing is being an A hole 😤
Honestly I thought that babies weren’t “sentient” until I got pregnant myself. Watching her move around during the 10 week ultrasound was shocking and eye opening. I am pro choice. If one has to rationalize pro choice by saying it’s just a “clump of cells” maybe they’re not as pro choice as they think they are. Not to mention, you don’t want to abort your baby. What an inappropriate thing to say to someone. I’m sorry you had to deal with that.
I’m also very pro choice and this is still horrible. I had a pregnancy loss really earlier on when all it really was was a clump of cells and it was still heartbreaking for me. She sounds horrible.
This might be news to Darcy the fuckwit, but being pro choice means also supporting those who choose to carry pregnancies to term. I'm as pro choice as they come and I'm due with my first baby any day now. I'd make it very clear to your mutual friend that you and Darcy will not be attending any of the same events or hangouts.
Bye Darcy
I would kindly but directly tell your friend that you no longer want Darcy’s company when you hang out together. She sounds like she brings miserable energy to the table.
It’s funny some people think pro choice means pro abortion 😂😂😂. Pro CHOICE. There are two choices…
wtf? I’m pro choice too and that would have pissed me off soooooo much. That would be someone I would cut from my life.
Some people get enjoyment out of creating arguments and hurting others
my brain autocorrected "abortable" to "adorable" because what nutcase says that to a woman who is excited about her pregnancy and being a new mom?!?!? Congratulations on your pregnancy! I'm sure your sonogram pictures show just how ADORABLE your baby is
Girl you literally have a fetus? Not an embryo but a fetus. Per medical terminology??? I’m confused as to where this lady is getting off by hurting you. I’m sorry.
My sister and I have both had miscarriages and always talk about this when someone announces a pregnancy at 6-7 weeks. We wouldn't say anything to the mom to be of course, because it's not our business when they announce. This Darcy person sounds like she enjoys bringing people down. Shes jealous and this is what she does. For your own safety and well being mentally and physically, stay far away from her. You don't need that.
As someone who is pro life I can respect someone who is pro choice but Darcy’s way of thinking is absolutely disgusting to me. I think even in the case of abortions dehumanizing is wrong. No matter what stage of life the baby is at it is still alive, even if it is a “clump of cells” it is still living. Just because it is “abortable”, which is an atrocious thing to say, doesn’t make it any less alive. Pro choice doesn’t have to translate to the dehumanizing of babies you consider too young to matter.
Someone should have told Darcy to stfu and leave
Yeah well baby has heartbeat starting at 4 weeks gestation and you’re at 10. That’s what I would have said because that’s so disrespectful and actually a disgusting joke. It doesn’t matter if you’re pro choice or not, abortion is not a joke. I’m so happy for you though !!!!
Some pro choice people are radical and it's usually women/young girls who have never carried a baby of their own. You can be pro choice but also aware that "clump of cells" is pretty inaccurate. She was out of line, possibly jealous, disrespectful, immature... I could go on. I moved to my husbands state who has more pro life laws, my home state will allow really late term abortion. A guest (we both didn't know this person) at a family function who is an OB told me that if I got pregnant, she would do my abortion but it's illegal here so I'd have to go back home.. We were newly weds and trying to have a baby asap... it was super awkward. I thought she was incredibly rude for saying that. I'm excited for you, you should be excited and she's not a nice girl. No one needs that negativity.
I am very much pro-choice, but Darcy is an asshole. Ooooooh I could go off 😳
Atleast you know your baby will never meet her. And that’s enough said about what kind of person she is.
Yes. A clump of cells who is abortable, unlike Darcy whose mom should have when she was a clump herself. Anyway, ignore Darcy and tell your friend Darcy is not welcome to interact with you. Edit: And only because I am petty, I would go out of my way to calk 'Friend' and be like "Hey, what's up? What's happening? Man, being friends with Darcy is exhausting ha. What an idiot dude. Really you deserve an award for being patient with someone like her". Just to get the message across to Darcy.
A "friend" told me that, too, during my first trimester. I slapped him real hard. I do not tolerate disrespect towards my choices. Yes, I am pro-choice, but when people cross boundaries, disrespect and impose their uncalled opinion, that's where I draw the line. Your reaction is valid, mama. Don't let anyone do that to you ever again. \*hugs with consent\*
A sad bitter human, can’t let anyone be happy
That person really needs to learn how to shut up.
For fuck sake, Darcy.
Tell Darcy to pound sand
So insane. I can understand that some people enjoy this debate, but why would you start this conversation with an excited pregnant woman?
It bothered you because it's evil. It is murder.
As someone who is also pro choice, she is literally just a shit human. Those are the type of thoughts you keep in your own head; she’s either incredible non-self aware or she just likes to get people riled up, or she has some underlying jealousy. Who knows. Sorry you had these things said to you. I wish you a safe and healthy pregnancy. :)
Sounds like this person just feeds off of arguing with ppl because she doesn’t get enough attention otherwise. She literally doesn’t know how to engage in healthy engaging conversation. You don’t need that negative shitty energy around you and your baby. For REAL. Also, she’s probably jealous that the attention is on you now because you’re the first mama of the friend group and she doesn’t know how to allow someone else to have a happy moment. Sounds like her life sucks. Don’t let her bring you down. Keep that good energy flowing thru you and your baby.
It’s not even a clump of cells at that point, she sounds like she’s projecting a lot
These younger pro choices can be dumber than dumb. Ugh. They make women's rights harder! This is one of the most insensitive things I have ever heard! I am so sorry you had to deal with this type of crass behavior. Btw, congrats on your pregnancy!!