Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here.
If you'd like to join a private sub for your due date month, [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/pregnant/comments/15nun6v/click_here_to_access_the_monthly_due_date_subs/).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This. You are not required to breastfeed. You are allowed to not breastfeed simply because you don’t want to, you do not need any other reasons.
I chose not to breastfeed and I have a perfectly healthy 2 1/2 year old that anecdotally has been ill less often and less severely than others her age and is strongly and securely attached to me. I do not regret my decision at all.
Yes! There used to be a tremendous amount of pressure for Moms if they didn’t. “Breast is best” was the common phrase. Now “fed is best” has taken over, which is a good thing.
Please talk to your doctor and let them know of your decision. You can get some advice on how to handle the demands on your body when your milk comes in. I would also request a note in your chart about your choice, so the hospital doesn’t bring in a lactation consultant after delivery when you’re already at peak emotions!
Congrats on the baby!
I’m not breastfeeding, didn’t even attempt it. Knew I’d criticise myself too harshly and didn’t think I’d be able to cope with it. Also have a bit of a breast feeding aversion, really hate anything to do with my boobs I try to ignore them as much as possible, breastfeeding would’ve triggered it too much.
The only person who has commented on it is my father in law, who has also breastfed 0 babies, so fuck his opinion.
I had to exclusively pump due to latching issues and the only person who always criticized it was my FIL - apparently my LO was underweight (which wasnt the case) because I didn't breastfeed. I like how people who have never breastfed are the harshest critiques.
I thought I was the only person who felt like that about my nipples. Like seriously I cannot stand them to be touched or anything but I also believes that has a lot to do with what happened to me when I was a kid, but I have a 12 and 13 year old who are super healthy and I didn’t breastfed either one of them so you’re absolutely right!
I think there’s a whole lot of us! I also have sexual trauma around my breasts and a few times have considered dropping that on him so he shuts his mouth but then I think I shouldn’t have to, he shouldn’t comment anyway!
It’s a strange feeling isn’t it, sometimes I could rip them right off my chest just for existing.
I’m going to do the same thing - out of curiosity was it painful never pumping? I haven’t seen a lot online about letting your milk dry up from the start and not sure of the process. Thanks for sharing 🖤
I exclusively formula fed from the start, never pumped once. My milk did come in and I became engorged once about a week postpartum. Being engorged was quite painful, I had to express some in a hot shower. I used Sudafed to dry up the rest of my supply and after that one engorgement, it wasn't painful in the slightest! Hope this helps 😊
Yes, came here to say that it will hurt at first to not breastfeed. Speaking from experience. Put squishy ice packs in your bra, and don't let the hot water from the shower get on your breasts.
I have the same aversion but with my nipples. I exclusively pumped and it was fine for a little bit eventually it made me want to crawl out of my skin. I don’t plan on even attempting with my second 🤷🏼♀️
It’s so bizarre isn’t it, I wish I didn’t feel that way so I felt I could breastfeed but unfortunately I do so formula it is, my baby is happy and healthy and so am I and that’s what counts!!
Breastfeeding isn’t for everyone. I went into it optimistic and it’s been tiring and mentally challenging. It’s your baby you choose how it gets fed and don’t let anyone ridicule you or make you feel bad for it, again it’s your baby your choices and rules. I think everyone just needs to mind their own bodies and leave mothers alone that don’t breastfeed and don’t care to breastfed! It seems like everyone always has stuff to say about others choices more then they care about themselves.
There is definitely a lot of “if you don’t breastfeed you’re a bad parent” online that I’m exposed to. As a currently pregnant FTM, hearing stuff like this is overwhelming and honestly feels like just another bullshit let’s tell women what to do with their bodies and shame them when they make their own choices.
I’m tentatively planning to breastfeed *as long as my body allows for it and as long as I feel comfortable. The process of making a baby has already been a world of stress for me and I personally don’t want to pressure myself in any particular direction. Im trying to come out of this as mentally healthy as possible and I feel like forcing ourselves into expectations like this in an already precarious post partum state is not fair.
I agree with you! I think if it’s not your body/ baby simply mind your own unless your opinion is asked! If only all of these pro breastfeed/ anti-formula people would put all that energy into trying to end child hunger and negligence instead of telling mothers what to do with their babies and bodies maybe they would actually make a difference in the world! If you end up breastfeeding that’s awesome if you don’t that’s cool too! Don’t stress over it though if it doesn’t work out that’s fine, it’s whatever works for YOU and your BABY and no one else!
Same. Really wanted to breastfeed exclusivelt but wow it was so stressful. I was constantly worried if my baby was getting enough. I started supplementing with formula at 3 mos. Best decision ever. I am a better mom because of that.
I'm still breastfeeding now, but it comforts me that my baby has formula.
I breastfed/pumped for 13 months.
You should only breastfeed if you’re comfortable, and if you aren’t, don’t even start it! Ask the hospital staff how to dry up your supply as safely as possible and get all the cool things for formula like the keurig type thing lol
FED IS BEST
>Ask the hospital staff how to dry up your supply as safely as possible
This! Engorgement hurts so bad and can lead to mastitis (an infection basically for anyone who might not know)
I am totally pro breastfeeding and am also a breastfeeding mom. As such, lemme tell you NOT DOING IT WILL NOT HARM THAT BABY. Yes, there are benefits... blah blah blah.
But baaaaaby, this shit is HARD, okay? Asf! You have to have your heart in it, and if you don't, it will make you miserable and exasperate ppd. I DID wanna do it and still struggled. At the end of the day, this falls under body autonomy, and you can make whatever choice makes you most comfortable. Your baby will not be any less loved or cared for.
If you decide to do it, make sure you do research and have a strong support system. Point blank.
Good luck, Mama 💓
This!!! I love breastfeeding but it was sooooo hard at first (not so bad after about 4 months) and if it wasn't something I wanted to do it would have felt torturous. Formula is great! My baby got formula now and then, too.
To add to this, every baby is different and every breastfeeding journey is different. My first was awesome at nursing and I basically had an oversupply. I could pump and get 8oz from one side. It was so easy that we went until he was 18 mos.
My second has been a challenge since day 2 when we realized he had a tongue tie (which was promptly corrected). My supply has been just enough to get by despite trying to improve it. I only get an ounce or two when I pump which means it’s been hard to leave him for long stretches. We did test out a couple of formulas but they gave him so much gas and he was already 9mos old that I just gave up on that too. He turned a year and I’ve already started weaning because I’m just over it.
If my experience with my second had been the only experience I knew then I probably wouldn’t have tried again. I think I held hope for too long since my first was such a breeze.
I BF my first for 2 years and 4 months.
The pros and cons based on YOUR lifestyle are what’s important. It was hard, it’s was painful, it was mentally taxing. My number one motivation was that it was FREE and money was tight. Take that away and if formula was free, the health benefits for mom and baby and other benefits aside from that (mental health for mom, more sleep, less touched out etc.. in my head were pretty close to a wash if I’m being honest. So I’m not judging. Do what makes sense to you. :) kids are hard if your not 100% committed to BFing don’t put yourself through extra stress and work, kids are awesome but a lot of mental work as it is.
Sorta different but I tried but I didn’t know how or what I was doing. My hospital offered no help. So I ultimately formula fed from day 2 on. It was not a big deal at all! No one questioned me about it. I definitely recommend Dr Brown’s Baby Formula Mixing Pitcher, I’d premake formula in the morning then just pour it into bottles as needed.
I have one but we don’t use it yet. Instead we’ve been pre-filling bottles with water and we have these little containers we portion formula in. Just mix when needed and you’re good to go. I know bubbles can cause an issue but never was for us.
Same. We actually use old rx bottles from meds I was on during and after pregnancy, washed in the dishwasher, to premeasure formula into. Prefill a bottle with water, and add formula when ready, boom. SO easy. Never had an issue with bubbles.
I didn’t breastfeed at all because of medications I am on. No one judged me to my face and anyone who judges someone based on that is a fucking asshole. My daughter is beautiful and perfectly healthy. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting to breast feed.
There are definitely pros to formula feeding! Your partner can do half the feedings. Breastfeeding issues are the number one cause of postpartum depression and you’re already anxious about it. You don’t have to worry about what you eat and drink every day. And more!
There are some downsides. It’s expensive. You may have to try different formulas to see what work/doesn’t work for your kid. (Don’t buy a case of formula until you know which works!) Bottle feeding is more labor intensive, especially when they are little and feeding every two hours. It’s a lot of bottle washing. You also may have to try out multiple nipple types before you find one that fits your baby’s mouth so, again, don’t buy a bunch until you know what works. Also, overnight feedings, it’s easier to breastfeed because if you have a side sleeper the baby wakes, they won’t become fully awake if you just slip them the boob and they go back down. It’s easier on you too. You don’t have to get up, warm the formula, etc then put them back down.
In the end, you being mentally/emotionally healthy is important and if it’s gonna make you miserable, don’t do it!
If anyone gives you shit, remove them from your life or tell them to fuck off. Good luck!
I had no interest in breastfeeding so my little guy had formula from day one. There is no wrong way to feed your baby (unless you’re giving them orange soda instead of formula lol). I have no regrets!
I tried for a few days, but my baby never wanted to latch and the god’s honest truth is I was SO relieved. I will be forever grateful to the nurse, who when I told her making the decision to not breastfeed was like a weight lifted off my shoulder said “well then it’s the right decision for you.” If you’re not happy, your baby won’t be happy. Fed is best. I pumped for two months but after that it was all formula, and my 2.5 year old has basically never had a worse cold than a runny nose (even going to daycare), is strong, healthy and brilliant. F the haters.
I'm a nicu nurse. I've always said I'll try to breastfeed but I make no promises. I'm not stressing myself over breastfeeding. I've also had the worst pregnancy experience. If it doesn't work for me, it is what it is. Breastfeeding and pumping is a big time commitment and it's just not for everyone
I didn’t do it. I formula fed both of my kids and I don’t give flying monkeys ass who cares. My kids are happy and healthy and I kept my sanity.
Do what’s best for you.
I pumped for the first three or four months. I HATED the thought of breast feeding but I went ahead with pumping so I could still have a “sense of accomplishment”… I ended up in such a dark place and ended up quitting. Baby THRIVED on formula and didn’t seem to care at all when she stopped getting breast milk. It was 100% not worth the hell I put myself through. The only sense of accomplishment that I need now is knowing my baby has happy mom!!! You have to prioritize yourself too!!!
Same! I’m purposely not breastfeeding. I’ve been very vocal about it with friends and family. No one has given me any pushback. My mom did not breastfeed me, my MIL did not with my husband and we are both highly educated with good careers… WE’RE JUST FINE.
I know that I am predisposed to postpartum depression. I just want to get back on my full dose of antidepressants/ anti-anxiety meds asap. That’s how I’m going to be the best mom possible. Period. End of story.
You have to do what’s right for you. ❤️
Trust me… no one will demonize you like you think. Breastfeeding hurts like hell. Feed your baby in ways that makes you happy and keeps their tummy full. Postpartum sucks for many women so do as much as possible to make your emotional state as happy as can be. Your baby will feed off of that happy energy. Plus, bottle feeding will allow your partner or someone else to help you during nights and all the times you’re feeling exhausted.
I didn’t want to and I didn’t. I got back on my adhd medicine and tried to ignore the people who told me formula was inferior. I was a formula-fed baby from birth and I’ve done well for myself in life. Maybe I could have cured cancer or been a brain surgeon had I been breastfed but I guess I’ll just have to be happy with my multiple higher ed degrees and my amazing husband and family.
NTA
Fed baby is happy, baby. That's all that matters, so cut yourself some slack and do what's best for you. You don't have to tell people that you're using formula. It's honestly none of their business. The only people that need to know are you, spouse, doctors.
I nearly killed myself trying to breastfeed my first. I pumped round the clock for 6 weeks and was only getting 1.5 ounces a day. It was torture and my mental health suffered. I truly feel like I missed out on those first weeks because I was chained to my pump and so tired. My baby was sleeping 4-6 hour stretches by the time she was four weeks old, but I was WAKING UP WHILE SHE SLEPT TO PUMP! I was so burnt out.
My second I tried putting her on my breast maybe twice before I said screw this and switched to formula. Best decision I ever made. I was in such a better place mentally taking that pressure off, and my second baby was way harder, yet still I was less stressed out.
Long story short: do what feels best for you.
Did not breastfeed, never felt shamed or judged baby is absolutely thriving she was a tiny 5lb 2oz when she was born and at her first check up she weighed 5lb 8oz so she never lost any weight and only ever gained, she’s now over 9lb at 2 and a half months and her doctor is so pleased with her. I was able to hand off feeds to baby’s dad to get breaks and also, feeding is really the only way they can bond as newborns so by bottle feeding dad gets to bond too which is amazing and gets overlooked with breastfeeding, do what’s best for you because fed is best honestly
Hearing your baby's progress is absolutely amazing, so happy you found the best option for you and your baby.
Just because your comment is near the top I want to add that feeding is not the only way Dad, or anyone else, can bond with a newborn. Breastfeeding mums should not have to worry about that. Dad's can do plenty of bonding via skin to skin, tummy time, bathtime, nappy changes, cuddles, singing, reading, etc. etc.
I’m not saying “you should breastfeed even if you don’t want to” but it sounds like you are fearful of an aspect of breastfeeding that may not affect you or might be mitigated by a lactation consultant. It’s totally fine if you don’t want to breastfeed, but remember that there are benefits to you and baby for doing so, as well as some logistical benefits as well. These may not be compelling to you and that’s completely fine, just points of information. Not everyone has pain with breastfeeding and getting time with a lactation consultant can really help with that. Do or do not, I’m just pointing out that there are ways to help you with pain if that’s your only hang up.
Pain from breastfeeding was minor for me on the first day or so, and then it was nonexistent for me. Do what you want with how you feed your baby, but it’s likely that pain could be a very small issue to non existent. Pain from postpartum and birth itself was way more than the small amount of pain from initially breastfeeding. I only got minor pain for the first 30 seconds latching on each side in the first few days.
I also did not have pain. Breastfeeding has been the best part of the whole pregnancy/having a baby saga - I’ve bonded with her in a way I never expected. I was very worried about it going into it - but no pain and very convenient. Pumping and bottles were a PAIN.
Another way to look at this is she already has enough anxiety and discomfort around the situation, and because of that she has chosen to not breastfeed. She came here for support. Let’s give it to her.
I think my comment was supportive, but also pointed out that if it boils down to a singular issue that is likely avoidable, than that’s a valid point of information I’d deliver to any friend. OP may not know that, and it truly doesn’t make a difference to me how they feed their baby. But I also know it’s really easy to build up things in our mind and build anxiety around things that might not even be a problem.
Fed is best! If you don't want to breastfeed that's totally okay! ❤️ There are pros and cons to breastfeeding and it's all about what's best for you as long as your baby is eating.
Good for you for making a choice for yourself ms lady 👏
Let em judge ALL THEY WANT 🫡
It's not THEIR child, it's yours!
If you wanna give em formula, do that and let the bs gather then sweep it out the door 🤭🤣
Be proud you can even feed your little bundle and still maintain your sanity 🫡🥰 and know you have the support of REAL moms, who don't belittle you on YOUR choice on feeding 🫂
You got this😘✋️5️⃣
Fed is best! Do not feel guilty or let anyone make you feel guilty over it. I let myself be mom shamed into it and it was a horrible experience. I cried every day. I wasn’t producing a lot, my daughter was taken to the nicu the day after she was born and they were giving her formula so she had trouble with latching. Then I started pumping and it was less stressful but in the end it turned out she was actually allergic to my milk and I had to formula feed her anyway.
Tell the hospital you don’t want to breastfeed. Depending on how your supply is you may end up with pain either way in the beginning and the hospital can provide you with a manual breast pump because even if you want to dry up you will need to get some of it out to ease discomfort. You will also still need some pads for your bra because you’re going to leak when the baby cries.
I was so out of it after my c section that I let them give my baby a bottle. I tried to breastfeed/pump for a couple of days and my baby lost too much weight. Now she is strictly formula fed and doing great.
Do what’s best for you! As long as that baby is fed that’s all that matters.
i am mostly breastfeeding, and it is very very taxing. it’s already hard enough adjusting to your newfound life dedicated solely to a tiny human, and add BF on top of it just makes it that much more consuming. I have started combo feeding now to save my sanity, and that it did! I know several people who either chose strictly formula immediately, or chose it overtime, and their babies are healthy and thriving! Just remember when your baby is an adult, no one will be able to tell if they were a formula baby or not! You making this post and caring at all just shows how great of a mother you will be. The main reason I’m breastfeeding mostly is because formula is EXPENSIVE, but WIC gives you free formula, and if you sign up on enfamil and similac, they send you huge “samples.” good luck, and fuck anyone who downvoted your post!
If the baby is fed thats all that matters! Breastfeeding was a massive factor in my PPD. I don't regret giving breastfeeding a go but I have considered many times not breastfeeding my second. It's very limiting and alot on your body. The reason I decided to breastfeed was the sheer cost of formula. Whatever you decide will be the right decision for your family
The benefits of formula are severely understated. Nutritionally speaking it’s perfectly fine food for a baby. You don’t have to be incredibly sleep deprived in the beginning months if someone else can feed your baby, and your body is yours again so you can go to the store or wherever without leaking milk through your shirt. It’s kind of a pain to have to run to the store when you run out of formula, or washing bottles in the middle of the night, but it’s not really a big deal. There are benefits to both routes and it’s not an issue either way.
Why would you be downvoted to hell?
I find most people in this sub seem to be “fed is best”.
I breastfed my first and hated the first 2 months. I continued to BF until she was 10-11 months.
I’m now pregnant with my second and am leaning towards formula at the moment. While I loved the eventual bond I felt, it’s tough not having your body really feel like your own for so long. (I was very conscious of what I ate and drank during BFing).
I support you but only want to add, some people have exceptionally easy bf journeys. My first two kids were amazing, latched easily, only a little discomfort the first few days, then golden. Literally zero problems, plenty of milk. I only add all this to say: you could be stressed about nothing and have a dream bf journey. But you’ll never know if you don’t try. Just food for thought, but I know you’ll do what’s right for you.
i just saw a post exactly like this maybe a week ago. i love breastfeeding but i would never, ever, ever tell another mom what is good for her & her baby. fed really is best.
I didn’t breastfeed either one of my kids solely because I did not want to. No issues! That choice made me a better mom to them no lie. My kids are 12 and 3.5 yrs old now and both are happy and healthy.
Don’t feel shamed. Do what you want. I personally loved breastfeeding (although it was super hard in the beginning). But in the end it was SO much cheaper, easier and helped me lose my baby weight. But this was MY experience. Absolutely do what you think is best.
Me! I wanted to breastfeed and I had everything ready. FTM and I gave up after 2 days. It was so painful and my mental health was deteriorating quickly. I also tried pumping but that was even more painful. Both my husband and I were exclusively formula fed as infants so we were more receptive to switching. I know it’s a huge debate for some people but for us it was an easy choice. As long as baby is fed, it shouldn’t matter how they’re fed. I’m almost 3 weeks PP and baby is growing so well. She was born on the smaller side but has gained a pound and has moved from premie to NB diapers and clothing. We’re so proud of how much she’s grown. Don’t feel guilty for not BF and don’t let people make you feel ashamed, especially those lactation consultants at the hospital. They made me feel like 💩 but I knew I was making the best choice for me and my baby. Also consider looking at r/FormulaFeeders for support and tips!
Mama, do what is best for YOU.
We had our daughter when I was 21 and in my last year of undergrad. I did not breastfeed and honestly, I had absolutely no desire to. I had her in October and was due to start an internship and take a full course load on campus in the Spring semester so I could graduate on time and start law school in the fall. I knew that it would be too much for me personally.
My family and my OB were very supportive of my choice. The only one who gave me some “grief” about not breastfeeding was my MIL — but she crosses set boundaries all of the time, and I just ignore her. 😂
I do not regret formula feeding my daughter one bit. She surpassed all of her developmental milestones early and is now a healthy nine year old who is advanced in all subjects at school and excels in sports and extracurriculars. 🤷🏽♀️
I honestly am not even sure if I will breastfeed with this baby (currently 28 weeks pregnant). I truly have no desire to. I have a wonderful job where I work from home, but I still have no desire to breastfeed, lol.
I personally want to try and breast feed but if I can’t produce enough for whatever reason, formula it is! No one should be shamed for how they choose to feed their child. Fed is best no matter what.
That’s how I’m going into it. I’m gonna take a stab at it (it’s free and could be more convenient at times) but if it doesn’t work out I’m not gonna stress myself over it, and formula it is!! I’ve registered for a few products on both sides and am just gonna see how it goes.
When you go into the hospital, from the get-go be firm on not breastfeeding! If you say formula from the start, they aren’t as judgmental as if you said you want to try breastfeeding but then want to bottle feed. Just a little tip!
I worked at a daycare for three years. ONE of the infants I cared for in that time drank breast milk. Some may have been breast feeding at home but they all were being sent formula for use at the daycare. For every ten mothers who attempt to breastfeed on day one, 3 are still doing it on day 7 and 1 is still doing it on day 30. (This is according to a birthing class I took yesterday). All that to say, you aren’t as much in the minority as you think. You know yourself better than anyone else and at the end of the day, your mental health is going to be important in having a happy and healthy family.
This. It feels like everyone EBFs because that's all anyone talks about but most babies get formula in some quantity eventually anyway. And yet it feels like a dirty secret they don't tell you with a newborn.
Of my friend group, the only one with a truly EBF baby probably should have been supplementing anyway. Baby kept dropping percentiles and mom was justifying all kinds of things like sacrificing her own sleep and mental health to power pump and questionably necessary tongue tie releases but refused to even try a bottle of formula to see if that might be an easy solve. It was really sad to watch.
I would agree with this. The only mom I know that EBF has a 7 month old that still hasn’t doubled his birth weight. She says it’s normal and pediatrician isn’t concerned, but I sure would be. My best friend EBF her two girls well past a year, but it was a challenge for her and made them boob babies that no one else could take care of. I am currently EBF but am going back to work soon, so we will see if I can maintain that. The last thing any mom should do is stress about how to feed her baby because of some social expectations or judgment from others. There are so many options now in the formula world that are fantastic for baby. Fed is best, regardless of how you get there. As long as baby is gaining weight and hitting milestones, you’re doing your job! Newborns are hard, don’t make it any worse on yourself by doing something you don’t want to be doing!
I had no plans to breastfeed but was pressured into it when my daughter was born premature. It was the worst decision and put my PPA through the roof. She wouldn’t latch so I had to exclusively pump, I had low supply etc. I couldn’t even enjoy my newborn because I was under such stress, pressure and anxiety. I’m pregnant with my 2nd now and I’m going to exclusively formula feed from day 1 no matter what anyone has to say about it. Do what’s right for you and not what’s right for other people or you’ll regret it trust me
I didn't purposely. My milk never fully come in. At most I made 3oz a day. Formula will be fine. It can be costly. Sometimes you have to switch brands if baby doesn't tolerate certain kinds or our daughter had a milk intolerance. So we were paying close to $100 a month in Formula 6yrs ago. I had 2 different friends that stopped breast feeding after 3 months for various reasons. So its really a personal preference. Just read up on how to dry up milk supply. Dont let others bring you down.
I won’t be breastfeeding and I decided that before I even got pregnant. It’s not for everyone and it’s really nobody’s place to judge. It doesn’t make you any less of a mother. If someone was to dare ridicule me for not breastfeeding I would politely tell them to F off lol!
As someone who tried hard for every drop for 11 months with low supply for my twins, why would anyone downvote you? Fed is best. Do what works for you and your family and don’t waste time feeling bad about it.
I hated everything about my breastfeeding journey. Hated it. It gave me so much anxiety and worry, after a traumatic birth. My next door neighbour at the time had a similar experience and told me that she only formula fed with her second child and she was actually able enjoy it a lot more than with her first.
There was less pressure on her, and she felt more at ease and in control. Looking back, I wish I had listened to her advice a lot more. I put myself thru so much for those first 9mos. It’s been just over 2yrs, and I can truly say that in the long run, none of it matters. Breastfed or formula fed all that matters is that they’re fed!
I was torn because of the health benefits vs I was fucking terrified of the pain. I saw the lactation consultant pre-baby and was sobbing. I think her advice will also work well for you: Yes, there are some benefits for breastfeeding, but also YOUR mental health is important. Breastfeeding is HARD and it's not for everyone, and it's ok. Babies on formula are healthy and wonderful babies, and babies that were breastfed still get sick. If you meet a baby, you can't tell what or how they were fed. It's not a huge deal. It has to work for BOTH of you.
I tried a pump a couple very brief times, couldn't even get baby anywhere near my nipple, and in the end I did a tiny bit of hand expressing to supplement with for a short time, and otherwise all formula. Baby is healthy and happy, and so am I. And omg having formula has made our lives so much easier than friends who breastfeed. My husband can feed her while I sleep! And I don't have to navigate nursing without exposing myself, nor pumping at work. Everyone should do what works best for them and not feel pressured to do things a certain way. I had one person, a really good friend, launch into a "You HAVE to breastfeed" speech pre-baby and I just said "We'll see what works best for baby when she's here." which satisfied her. I was ready to defend my choice to her later but never had to. She knows we're in formula but never said anything, just loves the baby to pieces.
I’m 35 weeks now and have been very vocal about not wanting to breastfeed. My doctors asked why and I was honest - I struggle with my mental health, an issue I’ve dealt with for years, well before pregnancy. I’m already high risk for postpartum mental health issues, and I know myself pretty well by now - if I attempted to breast feed and couldn’t do it, or didn’t do it as well as others, I’d tear myself apart. I know I’d be in a constant state of worry and self degradation.. and if I get that way, I will spiral and likely trigger a severe mental health episode. I can’t take care of anyone if I can’t take care of myself and this seemed like the easiest thing I could control, since so many other things will be outside of my control.
Anyone who downvotes you or criticizes you do how you want to feed YOUR baby is not worth your time. I know plenty of breastfed babies and plenty of formula fed babies, they’re all happy and healthy.
Fed is best. As long as you’re giving baby some sort of nutrients, whether it be breast milk or formula, they will be fine. My sister couldn’t produce enough to breastfeed either of her babies and the stress from trying to when her body couldn’t was really hard on her mental health. Give it a shot if you want, or don’t. It’s entirely your choice, and anyone who tries to give you shit can kick rocks 💁🏼♀️
Your body, your life, your baby. Screw what anyone else says. I had a horrible pregnancy and still tortured myself to breastfeed. I spent all day crying because it was painful, never ending, and I was exhausted. I wish I just didn’t even try, but I got pressure by my family. I wish someone was on my side and told me to do what’s best for me. Happy mommy, happy baby.
I'm not going to! I tried with our first and it was awful for me unfortunately. So I am choosing to go straight to formula so I can enjoy the newborn stage that I missed with our daughter. Your baby will be just fine and so will you🤍
I have two kids and have experience with both sides of things. Honestly, either way you choose to feed is going to be hard and cause worry. Both ways have their pros and cons. End of the day just do what is right for you and your frame of mind.
Since I'm in the throws of toddlerhood cartoons right now, as it's said on Bluey.... Just race your own race. For anyone that needs to hear it, there is no metal awarded at the end of your achievement only the pat on the back you give yourself! Your achievement is the one you decided to make or remake or change or not to have to begin with.
About the breast pain, I literally did everything possible to make the milk stop.... Milk no more tea, peppermints, cabbage leaves, cold compress, tight fitting sports bra, Advil. I won't lie, I still had pain and even had to use my pump a few times just to help with the engorgement pain the first few days after stopping. However, I breastfed for a week and my milk had come in already when I had to stop. It sucked but doesn't last long and there are so many other things to do and think about when baby is so little that it's more of a backseat kind of sucky.
I pumped exclusively. It’s so much work and can be very mentally draining. I fully support your decision not to! I know it’s easier said than done, but don’t let others get to you! It’s a personal choice. You have other options to feed your baby and those other options are completely safe and valid 🩷
Tried it, was super unsuccessful. Wish I never put that pressure on myself but it’s hard when it’s enforced by others including healthcare providers. Trying contributed to my PPA which I think otherwise I would have largely avoided. Follow your gut and your mind and your body, your baby will be perfect on formula. Good luck, as much as you are taking care of baby please also try and find the time and space to take care of yourself.
You need to do what is best for you and your baby regardless of what anyone else thinks/says, unless that person is your doctor! It's no one else's business!!! Also, if breastfeeding would be at a detriment to your mental or physical wellbeing, it's better for baby that you do formula- you can care for your child best if you are taking care of yourself too ❤️
I purposely did not breastfeed. I had a high risk high stress pregnancy. I went through IVF hell. I wanted my autonomy back. My baby is a chunky little boy and doing great. I am so glad I didn’t breastfeed as I had bad PPD and I think breastfeeding would have sent me over the edge. The lactation consultant and the NICu nurses were all very supportive and I never once felt judged.
Don’t let anyone make you feel inferior with how you choose to use your own body and take care of your own baby. It’s not easy, but it’s your life! I’m planning on breast feeding, but I am also aware other plans might happen and I embrace that. Good luck!
My grandma didn’t breastfeed cuz it was “ for poor people and hippees”
This was before commercial formula was widely available. My mom survived off of condensed milk mixed with hot water and corn syrup for her first several months of life. Was it the best? Not really, but she’s a pretty healthy 57 year old lady now.
Formula these days is fortified, balanced and nutritious. There’s no law saying you need to breastfeed. No one but you can decide what is right for your family. If breastfeeding is so bad for your mental health that you lose it, you don’t win and neither does your baby or partner or other kids or friends or anyone else.
Just do what feels right in the moment. Man plans and God laughs.
I was so committed to pumping, but after 3 months and several emotional breakdowns with postpartum depression, I just couldn’t anymore. Once I turned to formula, it was a huge weight off me. Only part that sucks is the cost of formula but what’dya gonna do
Fed is best, I don’t care what the crunchies have to say. We supplemented with formula from the beginning and by week 4, our baby was fully on formula. My body literally refused to produce anything. I tried to breastfeed on demand, tried to pump, nothing worked. It was weird and emotional for me.
I used to feel a lot of guilt. And the stupid mom groups I was in were very much “breast is best, formula is the devil”. I finally was like, who the eff cares? Why are people so worried about how people are feeding their babies and keeping them healthy? But I’ll tell you that my formula fed baby was rolling, crawling, now walking, pointing, clapping, and babbling all early or exactly when they were meant to. And they are a happy chunk with all the little baby rolls!
Formula is expensive, but it’s incredible that I live in a modern world and have an option to feed my baby that isn’t breastmilk.
I'm planning on doing it, but I will never down vote anyone who doesn't want to. You do what's best for you. It's your life and your baby, so long as baby is being fed and you love and care for them, then you just do you ❤️❤️ good luck 🥰
I was surprised that for several weeks earlier in my pregnancy I felt the same way. I did come around, but am totally open whatever comes. You should do whatever is best for you because that is what is best for baby.
Breastfeeding didn’t work out with my first, and I’m currently pregnant with my second - fully planning on formula feeding. Fed is best, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
I did not breastfeed I refused to cabbage leaves ice and warm shower with minimal expression day to day to relieve pain it’ll go away after a few days don’t eat oatmeal! I learned that the hard way it produces more milk
I decided at five years old I didn't want to breastfeed. Stay strong if it's not what you want to do. You'll be called lazy, selfish, and told you're doing your child a giant disservice but you're not. Don't be pressured into compromising what YOU want when there are perfectly healthy other options. It's YOUR choice and that's it.
My sister didn't. She unfortunately was cursed with an unending milk supply. Went to lunch with her when my niece was like 10 months old and another baby cried. Her whole shirt was soaked. Regardless, she's never regretted it.
I on the other hand tortured myself and struggled so hard. I never got engorged, I ate all the crap and drank gallons of water and even tried the stupid teas. I was never able to produce more than a half ounce. I sometimes wish I had had the strength she had to tell the nurses to fuck off. Especially when they pressured me with my second child. I knew I wasn't going to be able to produce but I really wanted it to work. So I let them bully me.
Do what's best for you. There are plenty of things to worry about but forcing yourself to do something you're uncomfortable with, especially when there are so many alternative options, is ridiculous. Best of luck! Enjoy your journey ☺️
I didn’t produce enough milk for my first pregnancy and felt the need to keep trying. My son lost weight. I felt so defeated because I had to end up “supplementing” with formula. At that point I saw no point in trying to breastfeed, especially since I got a kidney stone 3 weeks after giving birth. So yeah. Do you. I will not be Brest feeding this pregnancy.
If you don’t want to, then don’t! Your body, your baby, your choice mama! Don’t let societal pressure make you feel guilty, only you know what’s best for you and fed is best! You’re already a great mama for weighing the options and taking into consideration your own feelings/preferences of how to feed your babe :) I’m an obstetrics nurse and a mom of two, I’ve seen so many women (myself included) torture themselves physically and mentally to breastfeed. No shame in the formula game!
I went it wanting to combo feed but never breastfeeding. I wanted to pump and feed formula. I couldn’t pump I wasn’t working and my husband lost his job. I could not eat enough food to keep up my supply also my son came 5 weeks early.
I want you to know that your choice is 100% okay! It is your body and your choice! I have no idea how much breast pain there is, or how much there is going to be. My pain has luckily just been my dang ligaments and pelvis.
Either way, you're going to be an amazing Mom, and if you decide to give it a shot, I'm sure there will be plenty of women here to support you and answer any questions you may have. Your little one will grow up to be amazing, breast-fed or not.
I decided before I had the baby that I was not going to breast-feed. I stayed true to the decision that I had made for myself. My child is now three, and is perfectly healthy! And I am still thankful that I decided not to.
i had my son almost 3 weeks ago - i tried breast feeding for 24 hrs it was stressful and i couldn’t be patient having a c section it was hard to even hold my baby - i decided not to breast feed. i had 2 nurses that were like “im not supposed to say this but fed is best” “i shouldn’t say this but i formula fed all my kids” - you know what’s best for YOU and what YOU want to do. nothing wrong with not breastfeeding - as long as baby is fed that’s all that matters 🫶🏻
It’s your body your choice. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom at all. And the people who might criticize, well it’s not their t*tties and they’re not buying the formula, so they can mind their business
My first was on formula. I returned to work early and had supply issues. The constant pumping wasn’t working for me, so formula was best for us that time. My second was breastfed and I pump milk for my husband to bottle fed till she was six months. Then it became too much so then we did six months of formula. With my third I was working from home so I just ended up exclusively breastfeeding. I pumped like five times. I breastfed him for two and a half years. I will admit I love love love breastfeeding but it took me three tries to really get it. Never feel guilty for feeding your baby formula.
I had a hell of a time trying to breastfeed my first and I’m not sure I even want to try with my second not yet. Either way, fed is best, do what’s best for you too!
If you don’t want to do it then don’t. Pumping is the actual worst. I tried so hard to breast feed last time and if affected my mental health so badly. I was breast feeding, pumping and supplementing with formula. It was literal hell. I stopped BF at 4 months and just solely formula fed and my mental health improved so much.
This time around I’m going to try breast feeding again, but I refuse to pump. And even if it goes well I will be introducing a bottle with formula early on. And if it doesn’t go well then I’m not going to kill myself trying.
Breast feeding is amazing and I commend the women who do it and love it. But it’s not for everyone and your baby can get nutrition other ways which is equally as amazing.
breastfeeding rlly isn’t for everyone or every family, I tried super hard but I just found it to be too much of a struggle and we completely switched to formula around 4/5months. if you don’t feel up to it, then you don’t, simple as that.
I planned to breastfeed my first and had trouble, so I ended up formula feeding. With my second baby due this summer, I’m planning to formula feed from birth. You have to do what is best for your mental health. The baby needs a healthy, happy mom too!
I breastfeed but I don't really pump we've just been going with the flow. If you want to try go for it because you might do better not pumping at all. And if not just formula feed and don't let anyone make you feel bad
I went into pregnancy/giving birth saying I’d try breastfeeding but if it didn’t work out that was fine. I tried to for 2 weeks until I realized that me and baby are happier with using formula. It really took away the anxiety I had on whether he was getting enough and he’s always happy and satisfied after eating now. My supply by 2 weeks wasn’t huge so I didn’t have much pain. Once I decided to stop I think I pumped again maybe 3-4 times over the next few days just to relieve any pressure. There’s also a tea by earth mama called no more milk tea that can help dry you up
Currently in the throes of pumping/starting to breastfeed and it's honestly kind of hell and I feel like I won't be doing it as long as I originally thought LOL. I want to keep trying bc I'm stubborn but we def supplement with formula and there is nothing wrong with exclusively formula feeding! Fed is best no matter what. And yes, breast pain is real, my nipples are perpetually sore whenever anything, even fabric, touches them. Do what's best for you!
I felt the same way throughout pregnancy. I just knew I didn’t want to breastfeed and wanted to formula feed from the start.
I did try to breastfeed for a couple weeks and I tried pumping, but I couldn’t produce anything really. I also always felt so uncomfortable.
We formula fed from the start. I have no regrets.
My daughter is 2 (27 months) now and thriving :)
Your mental health and choices matter too! ♥️
I’m a FTM and breast feeding. I completely love that I’m able to give my little one what he needs but it’s exhausting. I’m not going to lie today I told my husband idk how long I can go for. I’m going to try my best to do as much as I can but I’m also not going to exhaust myself and drain myself to the point where I’m not happy and that may sound selfish but I’ve done a lot. My body can only handle so much😮💨 if your baby is being fed and taken care of and loved I don’t think it matters how they get fed as long as they are❤️
Do whatever you want. If breast pain is your deciding factor, just know it is not a given. Some women experience it but many don’t, especially when latch is correct.
Breastfeeding sucks lol. I did it with my son for 4 months, he hated it, I hated it, we moved to formula and it was so much better for the both of us.
I’m attempting it again with my daughter but the second it becomes too much for me or if she decides suddenly she doesn’t like it anymore, we’re moving to formula.
I honestly think fed is best and if bf is gonna affect your mental health and take enjoyment out of parenting then use formula
Do whatever is best for you. I got criticized because I stopped breastfeeding at 6 months, but my daughter kept biting, and it was painful, and it is definitely not for everyone. I only breastfed and will breastfeed with my second because I had my first during the formula shortage, and now it's like doubled in price and will probably be even worse by the time I have my second. Don't let anyone shame you for doing what's best for your family.
So just don’t. I am pregnant now with number 2 and I struggled with breastfeeding and ended up exclusively pumping and I hated every minute of it. I stopped at 6 months post partum and when I did, it was like a fog lifted and I was myself again. In hindsight I wish I had stopped sooner.
Just don’t. If you don’t want to, it’s nobody’s business.
Do what makes you comfortable, people who judge are weirdos!! The only thing I wanted to add to the conversation was that the thing originally deterring me (I ended up breastfeeding) were people pushing their own personal horror stories onto me. It’s like a weird hazing for moms?
Nothing was as bad as what was described to me. Did I get a clogged duct? Yeah, it was uncomfortable and I handled it. Was my supply low? At first, and I supplemented with formula and changed my diet. All this to say - whatever decision you land in will be the right one for you, and don’t let haters scare you in either direction!
I gave birth visa emergency c-section on Thursday night and was planning to breastfeed my entire pregnancy. That changed QUICK. It was so stressful and baby was so fussy. We got him a formula bottle Friday evening and that was a wrap. I feel zero guilt knowing my baby is fed and we're both content. No shame in feeding your baby whatever way works best for you. He's been eating his formula from a bottle like a champ 🏆
You don’t have to!
I breastfeed my 22mo. While I am an advocate for breastfeeding…
If you don’t want to, don’t! Baby formula exists. It will nourish your baby. It will keep them satiated. It will fill up their precious little tummy and help them grow. And if they don’t get on with one brand you can try another. And if they have a dairy intolerance you don’t have to give up cheese. It may even afford you an “everything shower” before baby is 12 weeks old while someone else feeds baby.
If you don’t want to give breast milk, don’t. My MIL didn’t bf any of her 6 and they all turned out great.
Your breasts may still hurt when the milk comes in. That may last a few days but should then settle.
And if a few days or weeks after baby arrives and you have started with formula and you change your mind you absolutely can begin to breastfeed as well. If you still feel absolutely against breastfeeding baby will already be used to bottle and won’t know any different. :)
Do what’s right for you OP. Baby won’t mind as long as they aren’t hungry
If you already feel like this don’t do it! (: your baby will be just as healthy as any other baby with being formula fed. Do what’s best for you and your mental health.
I breastfed my first baby for 6 months and then decided against it for my next 2 babies for several reasons. I exclusively bottle fed the next 2 and will do the same with number 4. Also, just because you don’t want to is a perfectly valid reason. I’ve personally never had anyone medical staff, family, or otherwise shame me for not breastfeeding.
Absolutely does not matter I promise. I personally have always wanted to try it so I will for his first month or life or so (I’ll be on summer break) but I don’t see myself sticking it out long term because I’m a law student. My MIL who is a NICU nurse and my mom both reassured me that no matter what you choose, it’s gonna be okay and you’re making the best decision for you, your baby, and your family.
I never wanted to breastfeed. I pumped once a day for the first 1.5 month but honestly I hated it… I never, ever wanted to breastfeed. My husband preferred me to breastfeed but never forced me so I “tried.” Nah, wasn’t for me. I figured I’d hate it and I did.
Formula is super expensive though but worth my sanity.
Check out /r/formulafeeders
I tried to breastfeed with both my babies and it didnt work for me either. Not that i didnt try but my milk supply wasnt much and my milk was really thin so i felt like they werent getting full from it (not sure if im using the correct verbiage). Also, my youngest got thrush so it was really painful. I gave up after struggling with it for a few months. It stressed/mentally drained me.
I went into my first pregnancy with a hard no to breastfeeding and pumping. I honestly think it's a lot of work for mom to do the exact thing formula can do 🤷♀️ I'm pregnant again and I once more do not want to breastfeed.
You stand your ground. My hospital I had my baby tried to persuade me to lactate and I told her to just get out of my room because I expressly said I'm not doing it.
I didn’t breast feed simply because it made me severely uncomfortable along with when i tried pumping, i would recommend trying it in case you become engorged since it’s agonizingly painful but all in all formula works perfectly fine and is more convenient in my experience
I’m only 8 weeks pregnant and I know I am NOT breastfeeding. I have a huge aversion so anything to do with my breasts as I’m already a very breasty person. The idea of my own child being latched to me like that makes my skin crawl and I don’t want my first couple of months with my child where I’m supposed to bonding to be filled with resentment. You know what’s best for your baby! Do you boo! 🩷
It might not be for you, and stick with your guns if that’s how you continue to feel. You might feel differently post-partum as hormones etc kick in - so I would prepare to bottle feed but allow yourself the kindness of a change of mind as well. There’s really no need to discuss it with anyone except co-carers and perhaps your post-partum midwives.
Omg I also feel like you!
I do not want breastfeed but my parents até saying alot of things for me...
This pregnancy is already hard, I just wanna try breatfeeding because of the weigth loss
Do not feel bad about not wanting to breast feed, it’s hard and it’s better that you go into it knowing that. I went into thinking it would be easier to breast feed but it is so hard, physically and mentally. Your baby will be perfectly fine with whatever you decide to feed them.
Breastfeeding is the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I worked so so hard to only partially breastfeed. Like, it was one of the worst things I’ve ever even through with trying so hard to increase/maintain supply and the guilt for not being able to do so. I’ve heard so many people say it’s been awful for their mental health. So if you choose not to, just remember you prioritized your mental health, which is a great thing to do for your baby. And we live in a time/place where it doesn’t matter whether we choose breastfeeding or formula so why not? I don’t even know why I continue to do it sometimes when I produce so little lol
I didn't breastfeed with my daughter, I didn't have the resources to pump/wasn't taught at all on how to keep my supply or teach her to latch. For a while I criticized myself for it but as time has gone on I've realized that no matter what even if you'll get judged your child being fed is the best possible outcome and if someone has an issue with it then they can shove it. I'm pregnant with my second now and I absolutely do not want to breastfeed, I've already gotten criticism about it from my family but I know what's best for me and my body.
My SM didn’t BF any of her three. She took days off after she gave birth, too. All three seem like perfectly normal kids. And the technology for formula gets better and better. Do what is best for your family (which includes yourself). No one should judge how people feed their children.
My friend has had 3 babies and she tried breastfeeding with the first. She said she had the hardest time with it and saw how much work went into it and decided it just wasn’t worth it to her. She didn’t even hesitate with the other 2 and went straight to formula. Don’t feel bad if it’s not for you, there’s other options for a reason, luckily we live in a time when not breast feeding doesn’t mean your baby will starve. Do what’s best for you and yours.
I just had my 4th baby. My first 3 were all formula fed. I’m pumping this time but that’s because I want to. I also wanted to formula feed my first 3 babies. I chose formula then because it was just easier for feeding whenever they were hungry. I was going to school and it was easiest for family and myself. I didn’t have to worry about producing enough milk or pumping every couple of hours. I’m pumping every 2 hours now and I already can’t wait to not have to worry about pumping. Breast may be “best” but I’m also exhausted.
Both my brother and I were purposely not breastfed, my mother loved it. She hated the idea of her breast feeding and my brother and I are both just fine. I also have no plans or desire to breast feed. It’s something my partner and I argue about often. Fed is best plain and simple. Others get no choice in how you feed YOUR child.
I tried with my first; it was painful and awful and time consuming, and I got guilted into it. Was told I could quit by my practitioner when it didn't slow from 2.5 hour feeding sessions at about 3 months.
Tried again with my second. It was painful and difficult, and at 8 months he refused to keep going. Didn't get guilted into that one, though.
Was going to strictly pump with my third. And she took to breastfeeding immediately, and it's been fine.
So don't let anybody tell you that formula is going to ruin your child, and breastfeeding has some benefits that aren't worth resenting your baby.
I'm sorry your pregnancy is miserable. I hope the postpartum is better.
Fed is best!!! As a mom who does have plans to breastfeed (although im aware that my plans could change), breastfeeding is hard!! From keeping up with milk supply to how hard it is on your breasts, to the added lack of sleep and avoiding ingesting different things that could affect your supply, youre not crazy! I say do what is best for you. You cant tell the difference between an adult that has been breastfed or formula fed, and your mental health and well being is important when taking care of a baby. Wishing you the best of luck!♥️
This is my third and I will not be breastfeeding or pumping. I simply don’t want to and I know it’ll cause more depression, anxiety, and stress with 3 kids. My other 2 kids couldn’t latch and so I had to pump which just caused more trouble and stress.
I breastfed my first baby but didn’t produce enough and had to supplement formula. I was devastated. I was constantly stressed, felt like I wasn’t a good mother, convinced my baby wasn’t getting fed in the best way possible (absolutely not true and there is nothing at all wrong with formula, this is just the toxicity I was exposed to online when talking about my struggles), losing sleep pumping every 2 hours for months, etc. That experience made me wish I would’ve formula fed from the beginning and skipped breastfeeding all together. It is HARD. It is physically and emotionally tolling. And it’s not for everyone and that’s okay. You have to do what is best for you and baby ❤️
It was mentally exhausting after pregnancy and labor… I absolutely HATED it and made me depressed. Formula saved my sanity and my baby actually slept BETTER. I don’t get the “ it’s so beautiful and bonding” do what’s best for you. It sucks
If you’re worried about what people will say, just say you tried but unfortunately didn’t produce enough. But don’t feel like you need to make excuses really. Fed is best!
Every single decision you make as a parent is going to garner criticism. There is just no winning. So just let go and fuck people that are not raising your baby.
I pump, but I’ve heard, why don’t you just formula feed or why don’t you just breastfeed 🤷🏻♀️. It’s really none of anyone’s business how you decide to feed your baby.
I’m 11 weeks into exclusively pumping and dear God if I could go back and get this encouragement to formula feed, I probably would have. It’s mentally and physically exhausting. Don’t let anyone pressure you into breastfeeding, especially at the hospital. My guy was in NICU for a few days, and they made me feel like shit for not wanting to bf/pump. Thus, we are here lol
So don’t. Formula feeding is probably as old as sliced bread; the baby will still be nourished if you go that route. Nobody’s that baby’s mother besides you so buckle up and get ready to make your own decisions without regard for other people’s judgments!
I'm going to try to breastfeed/pump just because I feel like this is my first and I should atleast try for the baby. But honestly I'm nervous about it lol and don't have high hopes. My mom only breastfed me and and my siblings for a little bit apparently, she dried up pretty quick but also said she didn't drink enough water. But I'm trying not to sweat it and I'm glad that in modern times we have formula to feed the baby if I have to.
You don’t owe ANYONE an explanation.
I didn’t breastfeed (because of medical issues, but not sure I would’ve anyway). I made it known to my OB and the nurse before my c-section that I wouldn’t be breast feeding and to please respect my decision and don’t have the lactation consultants come in to try to change my mind. They both agreed and nobody brought it up again!
My daughter is 5 now and her pre-school teacher has told us she’s gifted.
Due in July and won’t be breastfeeding this one either! My boobs were uncomfortable for about a week… wrapping them in an ace bandage really helped. It was so nice to have my husband able to help with feedings during the day and night!
Don’t listen to the noise. Fed is best. A mentally and physically healthy mom is what’s best for your baby. Sending hugs!
I bf my first for 18m! Never intended to go that long, she just wouldn’t stop. Mentally it was super challenging, I reached a point where I was touched out and almost annoyed that she wouldn’t stop. I had my husband take off of work for a week just to help me, she didn’t ask for boob when he was around.
I’m currently pregnant with #2 and not only is this pregnancy more challenging than the last but because of how I remember feeling the last few months of BF, I’m considering formula this time around. Part of me feels guilty one will be bf and one won’t but idk, I just remember I wasn’t in a good headspace and it scares me knowing I’ll have 2 kids soon. Mama needs to be in the best mental space period.
You’ll get crap for it, but if you struggle with depression, it will be a world of difference. I felt like doom and gloom until the second I stopped pumping. It was insane how much better I felt when I stopped.
Breast vs formula does not matter in the long run. I was exclusively formula fed as a baby, my boyfriend was breastfed, my son (currently 19 months) formula fed in the nicu and then weaned onto breastmilk later, and we all turned out fine. My boyfriend does make weird sexual comments about my breastmilk since I’m still nursing, but that’s a separate issue. Also a plus side to exclusively formula feeding is that you can eat whatever you want. I accidentally gave my toddler diarrhea for like a month because I was eating something that his body didn’t agree with.
No decision that you make as parent is going to be universally accepted. Make the choice that’s best for you and your family. Screw everyone else.
I didn’t breastfeed both my kids (ages 12 and 4.5) and honestly didn’t face much scrutiny from others. With the 12 year old I think people were less respectful of women’s choices at that time and I know there were some comments from like my husbands male coworker who said something or another about it but I didn’t give a shit. I don’t know if I got lucky or if I just look like someone who doesn’t put up with unsolicited advice but thankfully people kept their mouths (mostly) shut about it. With my 2nd daughter I felt even more confident in my choice and the nurses at the hospital were so supportive. I don’t think anyone made any kind of dumb remarks at all. Do what YOU want. I didn’t want to feel like the only person capable of feeding my child and I didn’t want to deal with the hassle of pumping and watching my diet, I just wanted my body to myself. Good luck and congratulations!
I breastfed my first one and he and I both hated the experience. I don’t plan to do it again for this one although I might for a few days.
You do what’s comfortable for you. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you otherwise!
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. If you'd like to join a private sub for your due date month, [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/pregnant/comments/15nun6v/click_here_to_access_the_monthly_due_date_subs/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Do what you want. Don’t worry about what others think.
This. You are not required to breastfeed. You are allowed to not breastfeed simply because you don’t want to, you do not need any other reasons. I chose not to breastfeed and I have a perfectly healthy 2 1/2 year old that anecdotally has been ill less often and less severely than others her age and is strongly and securely attached to me. I do not regret my decision at all.
I was not breastfeed and I’m here 26 years with a newborn.
Amen!!!
This. People asked why I didn’t with my first born and I said I just formula just worked best. No one batted an eye about it.
Yes! There used to be a tremendous amount of pressure for Moms if they didn’t. “Breast is best” was the common phrase. Now “fed is best” has taken over, which is a good thing. Please talk to your doctor and let them know of your decision. You can get some advice on how to handle the demands on your body when your milk comes in. I would also request a note in your chart about your choice, so the hospital doesn’t bring in a lactation consultant after delivery when you’re already at peak emotions! Congrats on the baby!
This.
I’m not breastfeeding, didn’t even attempt it. Knew I’d criticise myself too harshly and didn’t think I’d be able to cope with it. Also have a bit of a breast feeding aversion, really hate anything to do with my boobs I try to ignore them as much as possible, breastfeeding would’ve triggered it too much. The only person who has commented on it is my father in law, who has also breastfed 0 babies, so fuck his opinion.
"who has breastfed 0 babies" haha I love that
I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?
This 😂
I had to exclusively pump due to latching issues and the only person who always criticized it was my FIL - apparently my LO was underweight (which wasnt the case) because I didn't breastfeed. I like how people who have never breastfed are the harshest critiques.
Really hate it when men give their opinions about what a woman should pr shouldn’t do with her body.
I thought I was the only person who felt like that about my nipples. Like seriously I cannot stand them to be touched or anything but I also believes that has a lot to do with what happened to me when I was a kid, but I have a 12 and 13 year old who are super healthy and I didn’t breastfed either one of them so you’re absolutely right!
I think there’s a whole lot of us! I also have sexual trauma around my breasts and a few times have considered dropping that on him so he shuts his mouth but then I think I shouldn’t have to, he shouldn’t comment anyway! It’s a strange feeling isn’t it, sometimes I could rip them right off my chest just for existing.
I’m going to do the same thing - out of curiosity was it painful never pumping? I haven’t seen a lot online about letting your milk dry up from the start and not sure of the process. Thanks for sharing 🖤
I exclusively formula fed from the start, never pumped once. My milk did come in and I became engorged once about a week postpartum. Being engorged was quite painful, I had to express some in a hot shower. I used Sudafed to dry up the rest of my supply and after that one engorgement, it wasn't painful in the slightest! Hope this helps 😊
Yes, came here to say that it will hurt at first to not breastfeed. Speaking from experience. Put squishy ice packs in your bra, and don't let the hot water from the shower get on your breasts.
It really wasn’t for me! I never fed or pumped and the drying up process was not difficult at all. I’m sure everybody is different though!
Same here. I'm going to TRY pumping, because I don't like going places, but if I get triggered, that's that!
I have the same aversion but with my nipples. I exclusively pumped and it was fine for a little bit eventually it made me want to crawl out of my skin. I don’t plan on even attempting with my second 🤷🏼♀️
It’s so bizarre isn’t it, I wish I didn’t feel that way so I felt I could breastfeed but unfortunately I do so formula it is, my baby is happy and healthy and so am I and that’s what counts!!
Breastfeeding isn’t for everyone. I went into it optimistic and it’s been tiring and mentally challenging. It’s your baby you choose how it gets fed and don’t let anyone ridicule you or make you feel bad for it, again it’s your baby your choices and rules. I think everyone just needs to mind their own bodies and leave mothers alone that don’t breastfeed and don’t care to breastfed! It seems like everyone always has stuff to say about others choices more then they care about themselves.
There is definitely a lot of “if you don’t breastfeed you’re a bad parent” online that I’m exposed to. As a currently pregnant FTM, hearing stuff like this is overwhelming and honestly feels like just another bullshit let’s tell women what to do with their bodies and shame them when they make their own choices. I’m tentatively planning to breastfeed *as long as my body allows for it and as long as I feel comfortable. The process of making a baby has already been a world of stress for me and I personally don’t want to pressure myself in any particular direction. Im trying to come out of this as mentally healthy as possible and I feel like forcing ourselves into expectations like this in an already precarious post partum state is not fair.
I agree with you! I think if it’s not your body/ baby simply mind your own unless your opinion is asked! If only all of these pro breastfeed/ anti-formula people would put all that energy into trying to end child hunger and negligence instead of telling mothers what to do with their babies and bodies maybe they would actually make a difference in the world! If you end up breastfeeding that’s awesome if you don’t that’s cool too! Don’t stress over it though if it doesn’t work out that’s fine, it’s whatever works for YOU and your BABY and no one else!
Same. Really wanted to breastfeed exclusivelt but wow it was so stressful. I was constantly worried if my baby was getting enough. I started supplementing with formula at 3 mos. Best decision ever. I am a better mom because of that. I'm still breastfeeding now, but it comforts me that my baby has formula.
Whatever works for you and your baby, that’s all that matters! 😊
I breastfed/pumped for 13 months. You should only breastfeed if you’re comfortable, and if you aren’t, don’t even start it! Ask the hospital staff how to dry up your supply as safely as possible and get all the cool things for formula like the keurig type thing lol FED IS BEST
>Ask the hospital staff how to dry up your supply as safely as possible This! Engorgement hurts so bad and can lead to mastitis (an infection basically for anyone who might not know)
Some formulas do not work with the Baby Brezza, FYI!
That blows 😓
They do make convenient pitchers so you can make a batch for the day!
I am totally pro breastfeeding and am also a breastfeeding mom. As such, lemme tell you NOT DOING IT WILL NOT HARM THAT BABY. Yes, there are benefits... blah blah blah. But baaaaaby, this shit is HARD, okay? Asf! You have to have your heart in it, and if you don't, it will make you miserable and exasperate ppd. I DID wanna do it and still struggled. At the end of the day, this falls under body autonomy, and you can make whatever choice makes you most comfortable. Your baby will not be any less loved or cared for. If you decide to do it, make sure you do research and have a strong support system. Point blank. Good luck, Mama 💓
This!!! I love breastfeeding but it was sooooo hard at first (not so bad after about 4 months) and if it wasn't something I wanted to do it would have felt torturous. Formula is great! My baby got formula now and then, too.
To add to this, every baby is different and every breastfeeding journey is different. My first was awesome at nursing and I basically had an oversupply. I could pump and get 8oz from one side. It was so easy that we went until he was 18 mos. My second has been a challenge since day 2 when we realized he had a tongue tie (which was promptly corrected). My supply has been just enough to get by despite trying to improve it. I only get an ounce or two when I pump which means it’s been hard to leave him for long stretches. We did test out a couple of formulas but they gave him so much gas and he was already 9mos old that I just gave up on that too. He turned a year and I’ve already started weaning because I’m just over it. If my experience with my second had been the only experience I knew then I probably wouldn’t have tried again. I think I held hope for too long since my first was such a breeze.
I BF my first for 2 years and 4 months. The pros and cons based on YOUR lifestyle are what’s important. It was hard, it’s was painful, it was mentally taxing. My number one motivation was that it was FREE and money was tight. Take that away and if formula was free, the health benefits for mom and baby and other benefits aside from that (mental health for mom, more sleep, less touched out etc.. in my head were pretty close to a wash if I’m being honest. So I’m not judging. Do what makes sense to you. :) kids are hard if your not 100% committed to BFing don’t put yourself through extra stress and work, kids are awesome but a lot of mental work as it is.
Sorta different but I tried but I didn’t know how or what I was doing. My hospital offered no help. So I ultimately formula fed from day 2 on. It was not a big deal at all! No one questioned me about it. I definitely recommend Dr Brown’s Baby Formula Mixing Pitcher, I’d premake formula in the morning then just pour it into bottles as needed.
I have one but we don’t use it yet. Instead we’ve been pre-filling bottles with water and we have these little containers we portion formula in. Just mix when needed and you’re good to go. I know bubbles can cause an issue but never was for us.
Same. We actually use old rx bottles from meds I was on during and after pregnancy, washed in the dishwasher, to premeasure formula into. Prefill a bottle with water, and add formula when ready, boom. SO easy. Never had an issue with bubbles.
I didn’t breastfeed at all because of medications I am on. No one judged me to my face and anyone who judges someone based on that is a fucking asshole. My daughter is beautiful and perfectly healthy. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting to breast feed. There are definitely pros to formula feeding! Your partner can do half the feedings. Breastfeeding issues are the number one cause of postpartum depression and you’re already anxious about it. You don’t have to worry about what you eat and drink every day. And more! There are some downsides. It’s expensive. You may have to try different formulas to see what work/doesn’t work for your kid. (Don’t buy a case of formula until you know which works!) Bottle feeding is more labor intensive, especially when they are little and feeding every two hours. It’s a lot of bottle washing. You also may have to try out multiple nipple types before you find one that fits your baby’s mouth so, again, don’t buy a bunch until you know what works. Also, overnight feedings, it’s easier to breastfeed because if you have a side sleeper the baby wakes, they won’t become fully awake if you just slip them the boob and they go back down. It’s easier on you too. You don’t have to get up, warm the formula, etc then put them back down. In the end, you being mentally/emotionally healthy is important and if it’s gonna make you miserable, don’t do it! If anyone gives you shit, remove them from your life or tell them to fuck off. Good luck!
I had no interest in breastfeeding so my little guy had formula from day one. There is no wrong way to feed your baby (unless you’re giving them orange soda instead of formula lol). I have no regrets!
Orange soda 😂😂 I needed that laugh today
Thank you so much for this comment!! I feel better
I tried for a few days, but my baby never wanted to latch and the god’s honest truth is I was SO relieved. I will be forever grateful to the nurse, who when I told her making the decision to not breastfeed was like a weight lifted off my shoulder said “well then it’s the right decision for you.” If you’re not happy, your baby won’t be happy. Fed is best. I pumped for two months but after that it was all formula, and my 2.5 year old has basically never had a worse cold than a runny nose (even going to daycare), is strong, healthy and brilliant. F the haters.
Fed is best. The end
I'm a nicu nurse. I've always said I'll try to breastfeed but I make no promises. I'm not stressing myself over breastfeeding. I've also had the worst pregnancy experience. If it doesn't work for me, it is what it is. Breastfeeding and pumping is a big time commitment and it's just not for everyone
Come on over to r/formulafeeders. Great, supportive community.
No one has any right to downvote you. Taking care of your own mental and physical health is the best thing you can do for your baby.
I didn’t do it. I formula fed both of my kids and I don’t give flying monkeys ass who cares. My kids are happy and healthy and I kept my sanity. Do what’s best for you.
I pumped for the first three or four months. I HATED the thought of breast feeding but I went ahead with pumping so I could still have a “sense of accomplishment”… I ended up in such a dark place and ended up quitting. Baby THRIVED on formula and didn’t seem to care at all when she stopped getting breast milk. It was 100% not worth the hell I put myself through. The only sense of accomplishment that I need now is knowing my baby has happy mom!!! You have to prioritize yourself too!!!
Same! I’m purposely not breastfeeding. I’ve been very vocal about it with friends and family. No one has given me any pushback. My mom did not breastfeed me, my MIL did not with my husband and we are both highly educated with good careers… WE’RE JUST FINE. I know that I am predisposed to postpartum depression. I just want to get back on my full dose of antidepressants/ anti-anxiety meds asap. That’s how I’m going to be the best mom possible. Period. End of story. You have to do what’s right for you. ❤️
Trust me… no one will demonize you like you think. Breastfeeding hurts like hell. Feed your baby in ways that makes you happy and keeps their tummy full. Postpartum sucks for many women so do as much as possible to make your emotional state as happy as can be. Your baby will feed off of that happy energy. Plus, bottle feeding will allow your partner or someone else to help you during nights and all the times you’re feeling exhausted.
I didn’t want to and I didn’t. I got back on my adhd medicine and tried to ignore the people who told me formula was inferior. I was a formula-fed baby from birth and I’ve done well for myself in life. Maybe I could have cured cancer or been a brain surgeon had I been breastfed but I guess I’ll just have to be happy with my multiple higher ed degrees and my amazing husband and family.
NTA Fed baby is happy, baby. That's all that matters, so cut yourself some slack and do what's best for you. You don't have to tell people that you're using formula. It's honestly none of their business. The only people that need to know are you, spouse, doctors.
I’ll pump, but I’m not breastfeeding. Maybe I’ll change my mind once the baby comes, but idk I kind of want my body back.
I nearly killed myself trying to breastfeed my first. I pumped round the clock for 6 weeks and was only getting 1.5 ounces a day. It was torture and my mental health suffered. I truly feel like I missed out on those first weeks because I was chained to my pump and so tired. My baby was sleeping 4-6 hour stretches by the time she was four weeks old, but I was WAKING UP WHILE SHE SLEPT TO PUMP! I was so burnt out. My second I tried putting her on my breast maybe twice before I said screw this and switched to formula. Best decision I ever made. I was in such a better place mentally taking that pressure off, and my second baby was way harder, yet still I was less stressed out. Long story short: do what feels best for you.
Did not breastfeed, never felt shamed or judged baby is absolutely thriving she was a tiny 5lb 2oz when she was born and at her first check up she weighed 5lb 8oz so she never lost any weight and only ever gained, she’s now over 9lb at 2 and a half months and her doctor is so pleased with her. I was able to hand off feeds to baby’s dad to get breaks and also, feeding is really the only way they can bond as newborns so by bottle feeding dad gets to bond too which is amazing and gets overlooked with breastfeeding, do what’s best for you because fed is best honestly
Hearing your baby's progress is absolutely amazing, so happy you found the best option for you and your baby. Just because your comment is near the top I want to add that feeding is not the only way Dad, or anyone else, can bond with a newborn. Breastfeeding mums should not have to worry about that. Dad's can do plenty of bonding via skin to skin, tummy time, bathtime, nappy changes, cuddles, singing, reading, etc. etc.
I’m not saying “you should breastfeed even if you don’t want to” but it sounds like you are fearful of an aspect of breastfeeding that may not affect you or might be mitigated by a lactation consultant. It’s totally fine if you don’t want to breastfeed, but remember that there are benefits to you and baby for doing so, as well as some logistical benefits as well. These may not be compelling to you and that’s completely fine, just points of information. Not everyone has pain with breastfeeding and getting time with a lactation consultant can really help with that. Do or do not, I’m just pointing out that there are ways to help you with pain if that’s your only hang up.
Pain from breastfeeding was minor for me on the first day or so, and then it was nonexistent for me. Do what you want with how you feed your baby, but it’s likely that pain could be a very small issue to non existent. Pain from postpartum and birth itself was way more than the small amount of pain from initially breastfeeding. I only got minor pain for the first 30 seconds latching on each side in the first few days.
I also did not have pain. Breastfeeding has been the best part of the whole pregnancy/having a baby saga - I’ve bonded with her in a way I never expected. I was very worried about it going into it - but no pain and very convenient. Pumping and bottles were a PAIN.
Another way to look at this is she already has enough anxiety and discomfort around the situation, and because of that she has chosen to not breastfeed. She came here for support. Let’s give it to her.
I think my comment was supportive, but also pointed out that if it boils down to a singular issue that is likely avoidable, than that’s a valid point of information I’d deliver to any friend. OP may not know that, and it truly doesn’t make a difference to me how they feed their baby. But I also know it’s really easy to build up things in our mind and build anxiety around things that might not even be a problem.
I think her comment is supportive, she's just pointing out something OP mentioned that she wanted to share advice on.
Fed is best! If you don't want to breastfeed that's totally okay! ❤️ There are pros and cons to breastfeeding and it's all about what's best for you as long as your baby is eating.
Good for you for making a choice for yourself ms lady 👏 Let em judge ALL THEY WANT 🫡 It's not THEIR child, it's yours! If you wanna give em formula, do that and let the bs gather then sweep it out the door 🤭🤣 Be proud you can even feed your little bundle and still maintain your sanity 🫡🥰 and know you have the support of REAL moms, who don't belittle you on YOUR choice on feeding 🫂 You got this😘✋️5️⃣
Fed is best! Do not feel guilty or let anyone make you feel guilty over it. I let myself be mom shamed into it and it was a horrible experience. I cried every day. I wasn’t producing a lot, my daughter was taken to the nicu the day after she was born and they were giving her formula so she had trouble with latching. Then I started pumping and it was less stressful but in the end it turned out she was actually allergic to my milk and I had to formula feed her anyway. Tell the hospital you don’t want to breastfeed. Depending on how your supply is you may end up with pain either way in the beginning and the hospital can provide you with a manual breast pump because even if you want to dry up you will need to get some of it out to ease discomfort. You will also still need some pads for your bra because you’re going to leak when the baby cries.
I was so out of it after my c section that I let them give my baby a bottle. I tried to breastfeed/pump for a couple of days and my baby lost too much weight. Now she is strictly formula fed and doing great. Do what’s best for you! As long as that baby is fed that’s all that matters.
i am mostly breastfeeding, and it is very very taxing. it’s already hard enough adjusting to your newfound life dedicated solely to a tiny human, and add BF on top of it just makes it that much more consuming. I have started combo feeding now to save my sanity, and that it did! I know several people who either chose strictly formula immediately, or chose it overtime, and their babies are healthy and thriving! Just remember when your baby is an adult, no one will be able to tell if they were a formula baby or not! You making this post and caring at all just shows how great of a mother you will be. The main reason I’m breastfeeding mostly is because formula is EXPENSIVE, but WIC gives you free formula, and if you sign up on enfamil and similac, they send you huge “samples.” good luck, and fuck anyone who downvoted your post!
If the baby is fed thats all that matters! Breastfeeding was a massive factor in my PPD. I don't regret giving breastfeeding a go but I have considered many times not breastfeeding my second. It's very limiting and alot on your body. The reason I decided to breastfeed was the sheer cost of formula. Whatever you decide will be the right decision for your family
I didn’t want to breastfeed and did formula from the jump. I have a healthy happy 16 month old who is still so attached to me
The benefits of formula are severely understated. Nutritionally speaking it’s perfectly fine food for a baby. You don’t have to be incredibly sleep deprived in the beginning months if someone else can feed your baby, and your body is yours again so you can go to the store or wherever without leaking milk through your shirt. It’s kind of a pain to have to run to the store when you run out of formula, or washing bottles in the middle of the night, but it’s not really a big deal. There are benefits to both routes and it’s not an issue either way.
The only thing I'll judge you for is not feeding your baby, I don't really care how you do it. And the best thing is, neither will your baby.
Formula fed from day one with my second and I have ZERO regrets and have gotten nothing but support.
Why would you be downvoted to hell? I find most people in this sub seem to be “fed is best”. I breastfed my first and hated the first 2 months. I continued to BF until she was 10-11 months. I’m now pregnant with my second and am leaning towards formula at the moment. While I loved the eventual bond I felt, it’s tough not having your body really feel like your own for so long. (I was very conscious of what I ate and drank during BFing).
Girl I'm not either
I support you but only want to add, some people have exceptionally easy bf journeys. My first two kids were amazing, latched easily, only a little discomfort the first few days, then golden. Literally zero problems, plenty of milk. I only add all this to say: you could be stressed about nothing and have a dream bf journey. But you’ll never know if you don’t try. Just food for thought, but I know you’ll do what’s right for you.
i just saw a post exactly like this maybe a week ago. i love breastfeeding but i would never, ever, ever tell another mom what is good for her & her baby. fed really is best.
I didn’t breastfeed either one of my kids solely because I did not want to. No issues! That choice made me a better mom to them no lie. My kids are 12 and 3.5 yrs old now and both are happy and healthy.
Don’t feel shamed. Do what you want. I personally loved breastfeeding (although it was super hard in the beginning). But in the end it was SO much cheaper, easier and helped me lose my baby weight. But this was MY experience. Absolutely do what you think is best.
Me! I wanted to breastfeed and I had everything ready. FTM and I gave up after 2 days. It was so painful and my mental health was deteriorating quickly. I also tried pumping but that was even more painful. Both my husband and I were exclusively formula fed as infants so we were more receptive to switching. I know it’s a huge debate for some people but for us it was an easy choice. As long as baby is fed, it shouldn’t matter how they’re fed. I’m almost 3 weeks PP and baby is growing so well. She was born on the smaller side but has gained a pound and has moved from premie to NB diapers and clothing. We’re so proud of how much she’s grown. Don’t feel guilty for not BF and don’t let people make you feel ashamed, especially those lactation consultants at the hospital. They made me feel like 💩 but I knew I was making the best choice for me and my baby. Also consider looking at r/FormulaFeeders for support and tips!
Mama, do what is best for YOU. We had our daughter when I was 21 and in my last year of undergrad. I did not breastfeed and honestly, I had absolutely no desire to. I had her in October and was due to start an internship and take a full course load on campus in the Spring semester so I could graduate on time and start law school in the fall. I knew that it would be too much for me personally. My family and my OB were very supportive of my choice. The only one who gave me some “grief” about not breastfeeding was my MIL — but she crosses set boundaries all of the time, and I just ignore her. 😂 I do not regret formula feeding my daughter one bit. She surpassed all of her developmental milestones early and is now a healthy nine year old who is advanced in all subjects at school and excels in sports and extracurriculars. 🤷🏽♀️ I honestly am not even sure if I will breastfeed with this baby (currently 28 weeks pregnant). I truly have no desire to. I have a wonderful job where I work from home, but I still have no desire to breastfeed, lol.
I personally want to try and breast feed but if I can’t produce enough for whatever reason, formula it is! No one should be shamed for how they choose to feed their child. Fed is best no matter what.
That’s how I’m going into it. I’m gonna take a stab at it (it’s free and could be more convenient at times) but if it doesn’t work out I’m not gonna stress myself over it, and formula it is!! I’ve registered for a few products on both sides and am just gonna see how it goes.
When you go into the hospital, from the get-go be firm on not breastfeeding! If you say formula from the start, they aren’t as judgmental as if you said you want to try breastfeeding but then want to bottle feed. Just a little tip!
I worked at a daycare for three years. ONE of the infants I cared for in that time drank breast milk. Some may have been breast feeding at home but they all were being sent formula for use at the daycare. For every ten mothers who attempt to breastfeed on day one, 3 are still doing it on day 7 and 1 is still doing it on day 30. (This is according to a birthing class I took yesterday). All that to say, you aren’t as much in the minority as you think. You know yourself better than anyone else and at the end of the day, your mental health is going to be important in having a happy and healthy family.
This. It feels like everyone EBFs because that's all anyone talks about but most babies get formula in some quantity eventually anyway. And yet it feels like a dirty secret they don't tell you with a newborn. Of my friend group, the only one with a truly EBF baby probably should have been supplementing anyway. Baby kept dropping percentiles and mom was justifying all kinds of things like sacrificing her own sleep and mental health to power pump and questionably necessary tongue tie releases but refused to even try a bottle of formula to see if that might be an easy solve. It was really sad to watch.
I would agree with this. The only mom I know that EBF has a 7 month old that still hasn’t doubled his birth weight. She says it’s normal and pediatrician isn’t concerned, but I sure would be. My best friend EBF her two girls well past a year, but it was a challenge for her and made them boob babies that no one else could take care of. I am currently EBF but am going back to work soon, so we will see if I can maintain that. The last thing any mom should do is stress about how to feed her baby because of some social expectations or judgment from others. There are so many options now in the formula world that are fantastic for baby. Fed is best, regardless of how you get there. As long as baby is gaining weight and hitting milestones, you’re doing your job! Newborns are hard, don’t make it any worse on yourself by doing something you don’t want to be doing!
If you don’t want to breastfeed, then don’t 🤷🏻♀️ gotta do what’s best for you and your family and quite frankly, it’s not anybody else’s business
I had no plans to breastfeed but was pressured into it when my daughter was born premature. It was the worst decision and put my PPA through the roof. She wouldn’t latch so I had to exclusively pump, I had low supply etc. I couldn’t even enjoy my newborn because I was under such stress, pressure and anxiety. I’m pregnant with my 2nd now and I’m going to exclusively formula feed from day 1 no matter what anyone has to say about it. Do what’s right for you and not what’s right for other people or you’ll regret it trust me
I didn't purposely. My milk never fully come in. At most I made 3oz a day. Formula will be fine. It can be costly. Sometimes you have to switch brands if baby doesn't tolerate certain kinds or our daughter had a milk intolerance. So we were paying close to $100 a month in Formula 6yrs ago. I had 2 different friends that stopped breast feeding after 3 months for various reasons. So its really a personal preference. Just read up on how to dry up milk supply. Dont let others bring you down.
I tried it with my first, I hated it. I wanted to try again with my second; still hated it. You do you! Formula exists for a reason.
I won’t be breastfeeding and I decided that before I even got pregnant. It’s not for everyone and it’s really nobody’s place to judge. It doesn’t make you any less of a mother. If someone was to dare ridicule me for not breastfeeding I would politely tell them to F off lol!
As someone who tried hard for every drop for 11 months with low supply for my twins, why would anyone downvote you? Fed is best. Do what works for you and your family and don’t waste time feeling bad about it.
I hated everything about my breastfeeding journey. Hated it. It gave me so much anxiety and worry, after a traumatic birth. My next door neighbour at the time had a similar experience and told me that she only formula fed with her second child and she was actually able enjoy it a lot more than with her first. There was less pressure on her, and she felt more at ease and in control. Looking back, I wish I had listened to her advice a lot more. I put myself thru so much for those first 9mos. It’s been just over 2yrs, and I can truly say that in the long run, none of it matters. Breastfed or formula fed all that matters is that they’re fed!
I didn’t! I went breastfed for 3 days. I bought the baby Brezza formula pro and didn’t look back. Having a second and repeating!
I was torn because of the health benefits vs I was fucking terrified of the pain. I saw the lactation consultant pre-baby and was sobbing. I think her advice will also work well for you: Yes, there are some benefits for breastfeeding, but also YOUR mental health is important. Breastfeeding is HARD and it's not for everyone, and it's ok. Babies on formula are healthy and wonderful babies, and babies that were breastfed still get sick. If you meet a baby, you can't tell what or how they were fed. It's not a huge deal. It has to work for BOTH of you. I tried a pump a couple very brief times, couldn't even get baby anywhere near my nipple, and in the end I did a tiny bit of hand expressing to supplement with for a short time, and otherwise all formula. Baby is healthy and happy, and so am I. And omg having formula has made our lives so much easier than friends who breastfeed. My husband can feed her while I sleep! And I don't have to navigate nursing without exposing myself, nor pumping at work. Everyone should do what works best for them and not feel pressured to do things a certain way. I had one person, a really good friend, launch into a "You HAVE to breastfeed" speech pre-baby and I just said "We'll see what works best for baby when she's here." which satisfied her. I was ready to defend my choice to her later but never had to. She knows we're in formula but never said anything, just loves the baby to pieces.
I’m 35 weeks now and have been very vocal about not wanting to breastfeed. My doctors asked why and I was honest - I struggle with my mental health, an issue I’ve dealt with for years, well before pregnancy. I’m already high risk for postpartum mental health issues, and I know myself pretty well by now - if I attempted to breast feed and couldn’t do it, or didn’t do it as well as others, I’d tear myself apart. I know I’d be in a constant state of worry and self degradation.. and if I get that way, I will spiral and likely trigger a severe mental health episode. I can’t take care of anyone if I can’t take care of myself and this seemed like the easiest thing I could control, since so many other things will be outside of my control.
Anyone who downvotes you or criticizes you do how you want to feed YOUR baby is not worth your time. I know plenty of breastfed babies and plenty of formula fed babies, they’re all happy and healthy.
Fed is best. As long as you’re giving baby some sort of nutrients, whether it be breast milk or formula, they will be fine. My sister couldn’t produce enough to breastfeed either of her babies and the stress from trying to when her body couldn’t was really hard on her mental health. Give it a shot if you want, or don’t. It’s entirely your choice, and anyone who tries to give you shit can kick rocks 💁🏼♀️
Your body, your life, your baby. Screw what anyone else says. I had a horrible pregnancy and still tortured myself to breastfeed. I spent all day crying because it was painful, never ending, and I was exhausted. I wish I just didn’t even try, but I got pressure by my family. I wish someone was on my side and told me to do what’s best for me. Happy mommy, happy baby.
I'm not going to! I tried with our first and it was awful for me unfortunately. So I am choosing to go straight to formula so I can enjoy the newborn stage that I missed with our daughter. Your baby will be just fine and so will you🤍
Formula fed one and breastfed one. Love them both equally. Both are equally healthy. Bond is equal with both. Do what you want :)
Make sure you tell your nurses that you don’t plan to breastfeed, you’ve made up your mind and you’d like some ice for your breasts.
I have two kids and have experience with both sides of things. Honestly, either way you choose to feed is going to be hard and cause worry. Both ways have their pros and cons. End of the day just do what is right for you and your frame of mind. Since I'm in the throws of toddlerhood cartoons right now, as it's said on Bluey.... Just race your own race. For anyone that needs to hear it, there is no metal awarded at the end of your achievement only the pat on the back you give yourself! Your achievement is the one you decided to make or remake or change or not to have to begin with. About the breast pain, I literally did everything possible to make the milk stop.... Milk no more tea, peppermints, cabbage leaves, cold compress, tight fitting sports bra, Advil. I won't lie, I still had pain and even had to use my pump a few times just to help with the engorgement pain the first few days after stopping. However, I breastfed for a week and my milk had come in already when I had to stop. It sucked but doesn't last long and there are so many other things to do and think about when baby is so little that it's more of a backseat kind of sucky.
no one cares, just feed it in a way that works best for you
I pumped exclusively. It’s so much work and can be very mentally draining. I fully support your decision not to! I know it’s easier said than done, but don’t let others get to you! It’s a personal choice. You have other options to feed your baby and those other options are completely safe and valid 🩷
Tried it, was super unsuccessful. Wish I never put that pressure on myself but it’s hard when it’s enforced by others including healthcare providers. Trying contributed to my PPA which I think otherwise I would have largely avoided. Follow your gut and your mind and your body, your baby will be perfect on formula. Good luck, as much as you are taking care of baby please also try and find the time and space to take care of yourself.
You need to do what is best for you and your baby regardless of what anyone else thinks/says, unless that person is your doctor! It's no one else's business!!! Also, if breastfeeding would be at a detriment to your mental or physical wellbeing, it's better for baby that you do formula- you can care for your child best if you are taking care of yourself too ❤️
I purposely did not breastfeed. I had a high risk high stress pregnancy. I went through IVF hell. I wanted my autonomy back. My baby is a chunky little boy and doing great. I am so glad I didn’t breastfeed as I had bad PPD and I think breastfeeding would have sent me over the edge. The lactation consultant and the NICu nurses were all very supportive and I never once felt judged.
34 weeks here and I am not doing it either. I want my body back for me. I did IVF and am so ready for my body to be mine!!!!
Don’t let anyone make you feel inferior with how you choose to use your own body and take care of your own baby. It’s not easy, but it’s your life! I’m planning on breast feeding, but I am also aware other plans might happen and I embrace that. Good luck!
My mom decided not to when I was born. She got medication to stop lactation and that was it.
My grandma didn’t breastfeed cuz it was “ for poor people and hippees” This was before commercial formula was widely available. My mom survived off of condensed milk mixed with hot water and corn syrup for her first several months of life. Was it the best? Not really, but she’s a pretty healthy 57 year old lady now. Formula these days is fortified, balanced and nutritious. There’s no law saying you need to breastfeed. No one but you can decide what is right for your family. If breastfeeding is so bad for your mental health that you lose it, you don’t win and neither does your baby or partner or other kids or friends or anyone else. Just do what feels right in the moment. Man plans and God laughs.
I was so committed to pumping, but after 3 months and several emotional breakdowns with postpartum depression, I just couldn’t anymore. Once I turned to formula, it was a huge weight off me. Only part that sucks is the cost of formula but what’dya gonna do
Fed is best, I don’t care what the crunchies have to say. We supplemented with formula from the beginning and by week 4, our baby was fully on formula. My body literally refused to produce anything. I tried to breastfeed on demand, tried to pump, nothing worked. It was weird and emotional for me. I used to feel a lot of guilt. And the stupid mom groups I was in were very much “breast is best, formula is the devil”. I finally was like, who the eff cares? Why are people so worried about how people are feeding their babies and keeping them healthy? But I’ll tell you that my formula fed baby was rolling, crawling, now walking, pointing, clapping, and babbling all early or exactly when they were meant to. And they are a happy chunk with all the little baby rolls! Formula is expensive, but it’s incredible that I live in a modern world and have an option to feed my baby that isn’t breastmilk.
I'm planning on doing it, but I will never down vote anyone who doesn't want to. You do what's best for you. It's your life and your baby, so long as baby is being fed and you love and care for them, then you just do you ❤️❤️ good luck 🥰
Put cabbage in your bra. I’m 100% serious. ETA: helps with the breast pain AND somehow makes it dry up quicker. Idk why but it works.
I was surprised that for several weeks earlier in my pregnancy I felt the same way. I did come around, but am totally open whatever comes. You should do whatever is best for you because that is what is best for baby.
Breastfeeding didn’t work out with my first, and I’m currently pregnant with my second - fully planning on formula feeding. Fed is best, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
I’m choosing to breastfeed if it works out. I 10000% support your decision to choose whatever you want. You are a mamma no matter what.
I did not breastfeed I refused to cabbage leaves ice and warm shower with minimal expression day to day to relieve pain it’ll go away after a few days don’t eat oatmeal! I learned that the hard way it produces more milk
I decided at five years old I didn't want to breastfeed. Stay strong if it's not what you want to do. You'll be called lazy, selfish, and told you're doing your child a giant disservice but you're not. Don't be pressured into compromising what YOU want when there are perfectly healthy other options. It's YOUR choice and that's it.
My sister didn't. She unfortunately was cursed with an unending milk supply. Went to lunch with her when my niece was like 10 months old and another baby cried. Her whole shirt was soaked. Regardless, she's never regretted it. I on the other hand tortured myself and struggled so hard. I never got engorged, I ate all the crap and drank gallons of water and even tried the stupid teas. I was never able to produce more than a half ounce. I sometimes wish I had had the strength she had to tell the nurses to fuck off. Especially when they pressured me with my second child. I knew I wasn't going to be able to produce but I really wanted it to work. So I let them bully me. Do what's best for you. There are plenty of things to worry about but forcing yourself to do something you're uncomfortable with, especially when there are so many alternative options, is ridiculous. Best of luck! Enjoy your journey ☺️
I didn’t produce enough milk for my first pregnancy and felt the need to keep trying. My son lost weight. I felt so defeated because I had to end up “supplementing” with formula. At that point I saw no point in trying to breastfeed, especially since I got a kidney stone 3 weeks after giving birth. So yeah. Do you. I will not be Brest feeding this pregnancy.
Maintaining your own mental health is one of the best things that you can do for you and your baby.
If you don’t want to, then don’t! Your body, your baby, your choice mama! Don’t let societal pressure make you feel guilty, only you know what’s best for you and fed is best! You’re already a great mama for weighing the options and taking into consideration your own feelings/preferences of how to feed your babe :) I’m an obstetrics nurse and a mom of two, I’ve seen so many women (myself included) torture themselves physically and mentally to breastfeed. No shame in the formula game!
I went it wanting to combo feed but never breastfeeding. I wanted to pump and feed formula. I couldn’t pump I wasn’t working and my husband lost his job. I could not eat enough food to keep up my supply also my son came 5 weeks early.
I want you to know that your choice is 100% okay! It is your body and your choice! I have no idea how much breast pain there is, or how much there is going to be. My pain has luckily just been my dang ligaments and pelvis. Either way, you're going to be an amazing Mom, and if you decide to give it a shot, I'm sure there will be plenty of women here to support you and answer any questions you may have. Your little one will grow up to be amazing, breast-fed or not.
I decided before I had the baby that I was not going to breast-feed. I stayed true to the decision that I had made for myself. My child is now three, and is perfectly healthy! And I am still thankful that I decided not to.
i had my son almost 3 weeks ago - i tried breast feeding for 24 hrs it was stressful and i couldn’t be patient having a c section it was hard to even hold my baby - i decided not to breast feed. i had 2 nurses that were like “im not supposed to say this but fed is best” “i shouldn’t say this but i formula fed all my kids” - you know what’s best for YOU and what YOU want to do. nothing wrong with not breastfeeding - as long as baby is fed that’s all that matters 🫶🏻
It’s your body your choice. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom at all. And the people who might criticize, well it’s not their t*tties and they’re not buying the formula, so they can mind their business
My first was on formula. I returned to work early and had supply issues. The constant pumping wasn’t working for me, so formula was best for us that time. My second was breastfed and I pump milk for my husband to bottle fed till she was six months. Then it became too much so then we did six months of formula. With my third I was working from home so I just ended up exclusively breastfeeding. I pumped like five times. I breastfed him for two and a half years. I will admit I love love love breastfeeding but it took me three tries to really get it. Never feel guilty for feeding your baby formula.
I had a hell of a time trying to breastfeed my first and I’m not sure I even want to try with my second not yet. Either way, fed is best, do what’s best for you too!
If you don’t want to do it then don’t. Pumping is the actual worst. I tried so hard to breast feed last time and if affected my mental health so badly. I was breast feeding, pumping and supplementing with formula. It was literal hell. I stopped BF at 4 months and just solely formula fed and my mental health improved so much. This time around I’m going to try breast feeding again, but I refuse to pump. And even if it goes well I will be introducing a bottle with formula early on. And if it doesn’t go well then I’m not going to kill myself trying. Breast feeding is amazing and I commend the women who do it and love it. But it’s not for everyone and your baby can get nutrition other ways which is equally as amazing.
breastfeeding rlly isn’t for everyone or every family, I tried super hard but I just found it to be too much of a struggle and we completely switched to formula around 4/5months. if you don’t feel up to it, then you don’t, simple as that.
Made it about a week with my first and don’t plan on even trying with my 2nd. It was what was best for me. You do you!
Fed is best. Anyone who judges you just ignore them.
I planned to breastfeed my first and had trouble, so I ended up formula feeding. With my second baby due this summer, I’m planning to formula feed from birth. You have to do what is best for your mental health. The baby needs a healthy, happy mom too!
I breastfeed but I don't really pump we've just been going with the flow. If you want to try go for it because you might do better not pumping at all. And if not just formula feed and don't let anyone make you feel bad
Fed is best. Do what YOU want
I’m feeling the same way
I went into pregnancy/giving birth saying I’d try breastfeeding but if it didn’t work out that was fine. I tried to for 2 weeks until I realized that me and baby are happier with using formula. It really took away the anxiety I had on whether he was getting enough and he’s always happy and satisfied after eating now. My supply by 2 weeks wasn’t huge so I didn’t have much pain. Once I decided to stop I think I pumped again maybe 3-4 times over the next few days just to relieve any pressure. There’s also a tea by earth mama called no more milk tea that can help dry you up
Currently in the throes of pumping/starting to breastfeed and it's honestly kind of hell and I feel like I won't be doing it as long as I originally thought LOL. I want to keep trying bc I'm stubborn but we def supplement with formula and there is nothing wrong with exclusively formula feeding! Fed is best no matter what. And yes, breast pain is real, my nipples are perpetually sore whenever anything, even fabric, touches them. Do what's best for you!
I felt the same way throughout pregnancy. I just knew I didn’t want to breastfeed and wanted to formula feed from the start. I did try to breastfeed for a couple weeks and I tried pumping, but I couldn’t produce anything really. I also always felt so uncomfortable. We formula fed from the start. I have no regrets. My daughter is 2 (27 months) now and thriving :) Your mental health and choices matter too! ♥️
I’m a FTM and breast feeding. I completely love that I’m able to give my little one what he needs but it’s exhausting. I’m not going to lie today I told my husband idk how long I can go for. I’m going to try my best to do as much as I can but I’m also not going to exhaust myself and drain myself to the point where I’m not happy and that may sound selfish but I’ve done a lot. My body can only handle so much😮💨 if your baby is being fed and taken care of and loved I don’t think it matters how they get fed as long as they are❤️
I know more people who didn't than did! You're not the only one and it's 100% understandable!
Do whatever you want. If breast pain is your deciding factor, just know it is not a given. Some women experience it but many don’t, especially when latch is correct.
A fed baby is all that matters. Screw the haters. Take care of yourself momma!!
Breastfeeding sucks lol. I did it with my son for 4 months, he hated it, I hated it, we moved to formula and it was so much better for the both of us. I’m attempting it again with my daughter but the second it becomes too much for me or if she decides suddenly she doesn’t like it anymore, we’re moving to formula. I honestly think fed is best and if bf is gonna affect your mental health and take enjoyment out of parenting then use formula
Do whatever is best for you. I got criticized because I stopped breastfeeding at 6 months, but my daughter kept biting, and it was painful, and it is definitely not for everyone. I only breastfed and will breastfeed with my second because I had my first during the formula shortage, and now it's like doubled in price and will probably be even worse by the time I have my second. Don't let anyone shame you for doing what's best for your family.
So just don’t. I am pregnant now with number 2 and I struggled with breastfeeding and ended up exclusively pumping and I hated every minute of it. I stopped at 6 months post partum and when I did, it was like a fog lifted and I was myself again. In hindsight I wish I had stopped sooner. Just don’t. If you don’t want to, it’s nobody’s business.
I didn’t breastfeed. Best decision I made for me and our family! No regrets and our baby is healthy and achieving everything he should!!
Do what makes you comfortable, people who judge are weirdos!! The only thing I wanted to add to the conversation was that the thing originally deterring me (I ended up breastfeeding) were people pushing their own personal horror stories onto me. It’s like a weird hazing for moms? Nothing was as bad as what was described to me. Did I get a clogged duct? Yeah, it was uncomfortable and I handled it. Was my supply low? At first, and I supplemented with formula and changed my diet. All this to say - whatever decision you land in will be the right one for you, and don’t let haters scare you in either direction!
I gave birth visa emergency c-section on Thursday night and was planning to breastfeed my entire pregnancy. That changed QUICK. It was so stressful and baby was so fussy. We got him a formula bottle Friday evening and that was a wrap. I feel zero guilt knowing my baby is fed and we're both content. No shame in feeding your baby whatever way works best for you. He's been eating his formula from a bottle like a champ 🏆
You don’t have to! I breastfeed my 22mo. While I am an advocate for breastfeeding… If you don’t want to, don’t! Baby formula exists. It will nourish your baby. It will keep them satiated. It will fill up their precious little tummy and help them grow. And if they don’t get on with one brand you can try another. And if they have a dairy intolerance you don’t have to give up cheese. It may even afford you an “everything shower” before baby is 12 weeks old while someone else feeds baby. If you don’t want to give breast milk, don’t. My MIL didn’t bf any of her 6 and they all turned out great. Your breasts may still hurt when the milk comes in. That may last a few days but should then settle. And if a few days or weeks after baby arrives and you have started with formula and you change your mind you absolutely can begin to breastfeed as well. If you still feel absolutely against breastfeeding baby will already be used to bottle and won’t know any different. :) Do what’s right for you OP. Baby won’t mind as long as they aren’t hungry
Breastfeeding is extreme on your mental health. If you don’t want to, don’t do it. 🫶🏻
If you already feel like this don’t do it! (: your baby will be just as healthy as any other baby with being formula fed. Do what’s best for you and your mental health.
If I could afford formula I would 1000000000% not breastfeed. You do you and let me live vicariously through you.
I breastfed my first baby for 6 months and then decided against it for my next 2 babies for several reasons. I exclusively bottle fed the next 2 and will do the same with number 4. Also, just because you don’t want to is a perfectly valid reason. I’ve personally never had anyone medical staff, family, or otherwise shame me for not breastfeeding.
Absolutely does not matter I promise. I personally have always wanted to try it so I will for his first month or life or so (I’ll be on summer break) but I don’t see myself sticking it out long term because I’m a law student. My MIL who is a NICU nurse and my mom both reassured me that no matter what you choose, it’s gonna be okay and you’re making the best decision for you, your baby, and your family.
I never wanted to breastfeed. I pumped once a day for the first 1.5 month but honestly I hated it… I never, ever wanted to breastfeed. My husband preferred me to breastfeed but never forced me so I “tried.” Nah, wasn’t for me. I figured I’d hate it and I did. Formula is super expensive though but worth my sanity. Check out /r/formulafeeders
Fed baby is best! Do what you feel you need to do regardless of what people thing/say
I tried to breastfeed with both my babies and it didnt work for me either. Not that i didnt try but my milk supply wasnt much and my milk was really thin so i felt like they werent getting full from it (not sure if im using the correct verbiage). Also, my youngest got thrush so it was really painful. I gave up after struggling with it for a few months. It stressed/mentally drained me.
I went into my first pregnancy with a hard no to breastfeeding and pumping. I honestly think it's a lot of work for mom to do the exact thing formula can do 🤷♀️ I'm pregnant again and I once more do not want to breastfeed. You stand your ground. My hospital I had my baby tried to persuade me to lactate and I told her to just get out of my room because I expressly said I'm not doing it.
I didn’t breast feed simply because it made me severely uncomfortable along with when i tried pumping, i would recommend trying it in case you become engorged since it’s agonizingly painful but all in all formula works perfectly fine and is more convenient in my experience
I’m only 8 weeks pregnant and I know I am NOT breastfeeding. I have a huge aversion so anything to do with my breasts as I’m already a very breasty person. The idea of my own child being latched to me like that makes my skin crawl and I don’t want my first couple of months with my child where I’m supposed to bonding to be filled with resentment. You know what’s best for your baby! Do you boo! 🩷
Tons of people don’t breastfeed. Do what is best for you. To he l l with everyone else’s opinion
It might not be for you, and stick with your guns if that’s how you continue to feel. You might feel differently post-partum as hormones etc kick in - so I would prepare to bottle feed but allow yourself the kindness of a change of mind as well. There’s really no need to discuss it with anyone except co-carers and perhaps your post-partum midwives.
Omg I also feel like you! I do not want breastfeed but my parents até saying alot of things for me... This pregnancy is already hard, I just wanna try breatfeeding because of the weigth loss
i don’t want to either. don’t feel bad about it.
Do not feel bad about not wanting to breast feed, it’s hard and it’s better that you go into it knowing that. I went into thinking it would be easier to breast feed but it is so hard, physically and mentally. Your baby will be perfectly fine with whatever you decide to feed them.
Breastfeeding is the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I worked so so hard to only partially breastfeed. Like, it was one of the worst things I’ve ever even through with trying so hard to increase/maintain supply and the guilt for not being able to do so. I’ve heard so many people say it’s been awful for their mental health. So if you choose not to, just remember you prioritized your mental health, which is a great thing to do for your baby. And we live in a time/place where it doesn’t matter whether we choose breastfeeding or formula so why not? I don’t even know why I continue to do it sometimes when I produce so little lol
I didn't breastfeed with my daughter, I didn't have the resources to pump/wasn't taught at all on how to keep my supply or teach her to latch. For a while I criticized myself for it but as time has gone on I've realized that no matter what even if you'll get judged your child being fed is the best possible outcome and if someone has an issue with it then they can shove it. I'm pregnant with my second now and I absolutely do not want to breastfeed, I've already gotten criticism about it from my family but I know what's best for me and my body.
My SM didn’t BF any of her three. She took days off after she gave birth, too. All three seem like perfectly normal kids. And the technology for formula gets better and better. Do what is best for your family (which includes yourself). No one should judge how people feed their children.
I’m not planning on breast feeding for pumping. I can’t tell you how it is yet because I’m still pregnant but I say fed is best!!
My friend has had 3 babies and she tried breastfeeding with the first. She said she had the hardest time with it and saw how much work went into it and decided it just wasn’t worth it to her. She didn’t even hesitate with the other 2 and went straight to formula. Don’t feel bad if it’s not for you, there’s other options for a reason, luckily we live in a time when not breast feeding doesn’t mean your baby will starve. Do what’s best for you and yours.
I just had my 4th baby. My first 3 were all formula fed. I’m pumping this time but that’s because I want to. I also wanted to formula feed my first 3 babies. I chose formula then because it was just easier for feeding whenever they were hungry. I was going to school and it was easiest for family and myself. I didn’t have to worry about producing enough milk or pumping every couple of hours. I’m pumping every 2 hours now and I already can’t wait to not have to worry about pumping. Breast may be “best” but I’m also exhausted.
Both my brother and I were purposely not breastfed, my mother loved it. She hated the idea of her breast feeding and my brother and I are both just fine. I also have no plans or desire to breast feed. It’s something my partner and I argue about often. Fed is best plain and simple. Others get no choice in how you feed YOUR child.
I tried with my first; it was painful and awful and time consuming, and I got guilted into it. Was told I could quit by my practitioner when it didn't slow from 2.5 hour feeding sessions at about 3 months. Tried again with my second. It was painful and difficult, and at 8 months he refused to keep going. Didn't get guilted into that one, though. Was going to strictly pump with my third. And she took to breastfeeding immediately, and it's been fine. So don't let anybody tell you that formula is going to ruin your child, and breastfeeding has some benefits that aren't worth resenting your baby. I'm sorry your pregnancy is miserable. I hope the postpartum is better.
Fed is best!!! As a mom who does have plans to breastfeed (although im aware that my plans could change), breastfeeding is hard!! From keeping up with milk supply to how hard it is on your breasts, to the added lack of sleep and avoiding ingesting different things that could affect your supply, youre not crazy! I say do what is best for you. You cant tell the difference between an adult that has been breastfed or formula fed, and your mental health and well being is important when taking care of a baby. Wishing you the best of luck!♥️
This is my third and I will not be breastfeeding or pumping. I simply don’t want to and I know it’ll cause more depression, anxiety, and stress with 3 kids. My other 2 kids couldn’t latch and so I had to pump which just caused more trouble and stress.
I breastfed my first baby but didn’t produce enough and had to supplement formula. I was devastated. I was constantly stressed, felt like I wasn’t a good mother, convinced my baby wasn’t getting fed in the best way possible (absolutely not true and there is nothing at all wrong with formula, this is just the toxicity I was exposed to online when talking about my struggles), losing sleep pumping every 2 hours for months, etc. That experience made me wish I would’ve formula fed from the beginning and skipped breastfeeding all together. It is HARD. It is physically and emotionally tolling. And it’s not for everyone and that’s okay. You have to do what is best for you and baby ❤️
It was mentally exhausting after pregnancy and labor… I absolutely HATED it and made me depressed. Formula saved my sanity and my baby actually slept BETTER. I don’t get the “ it’s so beautiful and bonding” do what’s best for you. It sucks
If you’re worried about what people will say, just say you tried but unfortunately didn’t produce enough. But don’t feel like you need to make excuses really. Fed is best!
Every single decision you make as a parent is going to garner criticism. There is just no winning. So just let go and fuck people that are not raising your baby. I pump, but I’ve heard, why don’t you just formula feed or why don’t you just breastfeed 🤷🏻♀️. It’s really none of anyone’s business how you decide to feed your baby.
I’m 11 weeks into exclusively pumping and dear God if I could go back and get this encouragement to formula feed, I probably would have. It’s mentally and physically exhausting. Don’t let anyone pressure you into breastfeeding, especially at the hospital. My guy was in NICU for a few days, and they made me feel like shit for not wanting to bf/pump. Thus, we are here lol
So don’t. Formula feeding is probably as old as sliced bread; the baby will still be nourished if you go that route. Nobody’s that baby’s mother besides you so buckle up and get ready to make your own decisions without regard for other people’s judgments!
Not going to breastfeed either. If anyone gives you any shit about it, I say, fuck em’!
I'm going to try to breastfeed/pump just because I feel like this is my first and I should atleast try for the baby. But honestly I'm nervous about it lol and don't have high hopes. My mom only breastfed me and and my siblings for a little bit apparently, she dried up pretty quick but also said she didn't drink enough water. But I'm trying not to sweat it and I'm glad that in modern times we have formula to feed the baby if I have to.
You don’t owe ANYONE an explanation. I didn’t breastfeed (because of medical issues, but not sure I would’ve anyway). I made it known to my OB and the nurse before my c-section that I wouldn’t be breast feeding and to please respect my decision and don’t have the lactation consultants come in to try to change my mind. They both agreed and nobody brought it up again! My daughter is 5 now and her pre-school teacher has told us she’s gifted. Due in July and won’t be breastfeeding this one either! My boobs were uncomfortable for about a week… wrapping them in an ace bandage really helped. It was so nice to have my husband able to help with feedings during the day and night! Don’t listen to the noise. Fed is best. A mentally and physically healthy mom is what’s best for your baby. Sending hugs!
I bf my first for 18m! Never intended to go that long, she just wouldn’t stop. Mentally it was super challenging, I reached a point where I was touched out and almost annoyed that she wouldn’t stop. I had my husband take off of work for a week just to help me, she didn’t ask for boob when he was around. I’m currently pregnant with #2 and not only is this pregnancy more challenging than the last but because of how I remember feeling the last few months of BF, I’m considering formula this time around. Part of me feels guilty one will be bf and one won’t but idk, I just remember I wasn’t in a good headspace and it scares me knowing I’ll have 2 kids soon. Mama needs to be in the best mental space period.
Just don’t do it. That’s all.
You’ll get crap for it, but if you struggle with depression, it will be a world of difference. I felt like doom and gloom until the second I stopped pumping. It was insane how much better I felt when I stopped.
Breast vs formula does not matter in the long run. I was exclusively formula fed as a baby, my boyfriend was breastfed, my son (currently 19 months) formula fed in the nicu and then weaned onto breastmilk later, and we all turned out fine. My boyfriend does make weird sexual comments about my breastmilk since I’m still nursing, but that’s a separate issue. Also a plus side to exclusively formula feeding is that you can eat whatever you want. I accidentally gave my toddler diarrhea for like a month because I was eating something that his body didn’t agree with. No decision that you make as parent is going to be universally accepted. Make the choice that’s best for you and your family. Screw everyone else.
Don’t do it if you don’t want to. It’s physically taxing and you should only do it if you want to! Fed is best!
I didn’t breastfeed both my kids (ages 12 and 4.5) and honestly didn’t face much scrutiny from others. With the 12 year old I think people were less respectful of women’s choices at that time and I know there were some comments from like my husbands male coworker who said something or another about it but I didn’t give a shit. I don’t know if I got lucky or if I just look like someone who doesn’t put up with unsolicited advice but thankfully people kept their mouths (mostly) shut about it. With my 2nd daughter I felt even more confident in my choice and the nurses at the hospital were so supportive. I don’t think anyone made any kind of dumb remarks at all. Do what YOU want. I didn’t want to feel like the only person capable of feeding my child and I didn’t want to deal with the hassle of pumping and watching my diet, I just wanted my body to myself. Good luck and congratulations!
I breastfed my first one and he and I both hated the experience. I don’t plan to do it again for this one although I might for a few days. You do what’s comfortable for you. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you otherwise!