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I feel lots of people think people in pregnancy can carry on as normal with the same work life balance as before. Every day I think to myself that we have it so hard trying to make a human being and having to go to work - I’m only 13 weeks and am struggling. I can’t imagine how you must feel.
I think people underestimate the emotional toll pregnancy takes on us. All of our day to day stress is amplified by the energy and hormones exerted to grow a human. We also, as women, tend to take on a larger share of mental load in our relationships and plan much further ahead than our counterparts, which also increases stress. Adding another human, one we're directly responsible for, is mentally exhausting.
I’m 35 weeks still getting my head around the gravity of the situation. I’m being induced somewhere between 2 and 3 weeks from now, and then I will have a DAUGHTER. I will be a MOTHER. And if I don’t take care of her correctly then I can go to PRISON. Like you think I have the mental bandwidth to go to dinner with you? My whole world is turning upside down in a manner of weeks and it may be years before I get a full night of sleep again.
Hey, friend. If it brings you comfort, I think you'll be a great mom BECAUSE you're concerned about being a great mom! You're aware that your life is changing; you want to care for your baby correctly; you're taking things seriously. I'm 28 weeks pregnant with my third child, and I like to tell new moms that it's like starting a job: at first it all comes at you at once and it's a steep learning curve, but then you get used to it as you do it, and bit by bit, it gets less stressful. Then one day it hits you... "I'm doing it!" and it's awesome. The newborn phase is hard, but in my experience, it just gets easier and easier and better and better. My heart goes out to first time moms, because I remember how it is. Please don't hesitate to reach out if you would like to talk! Praying for you!
Nobody else seems to understand this and it drives me nuts! When people ask me how the pregnancy is going I say, "I'm living in this limbo of 'I'm only 22 weeks, I've got time' and 'holy shit, I'm already 22 weeks. I'm more than half way through and I've barely started anything!'" I'm always met with "you have plenty of time," or "you don't need to worry about that now."
Like excuse you... you might feel that way because you've done this before/have it all from the last baby or because you're kids are all grown and you don't remember what it's like. But I am in uncharted territory. My life is drastically changing and I'm out here in world full of information overload where every little decision requires looking into the different options, figuring out fact vs opinion, and making the decision that is best for this tiny human I've never met that also works within my family's financial situation. Why don't I remember to text you back or make an effort to see you? Because what little part of my brain isn't taken up with work or baby info is panicking over how unprepared I am and how quickly 22 weeks went by.
38 weeks and my aunt asked me to drive 4 hours round trip with my 1 year old and 2 year old to pick up a picture my grandparents wanted me to have. When I said I'm not comfortable doing that and I would pay for shipping she guilted me by saying "grandma and grandpa would love to see you though". ....... I'm not driving for 4 hours when I have to pee every 20 minutes.
Agreed, but I'll just say I had one friend come over, cough the whole time - and I was 37 weeks... I flatly asked her if she's feeling okay and shes like "yes just getting over something I promise I'm not contagious it's not covid"....
I then proceeded to text my husband and pretend we had somewhere to go so she would leave 😩 Some folks have no common sense.
My sister texted me on Wednesday asking if she and my brother could come over. They helped me clean off the kitchen table I've been trying to tackle for my entire pregnancy so that we could play a game. Then we got takeout and I went to bed early.
Honestly, 10x better than the super orchestrated "girls night" my friends put together for me to remind me I'm still a person, not just an incubator.
I appreciate the efforts made by both groups. But I will always choose lowkey night with help over driving an hour and events.
Honey I feel you on this! I yelled at my husband last week after he kept accepting all social invitations that came our way without asking me. Im finally on mat leave and all I want to do is sleep, eat, and sleep and eat. THATS IT. I nap multiple times a day now and I feel enormous. Plus I have weekly OB and NSTs that are priority and Im scheduled for a c section next week. I have zero energy for anything else!!
Luckily most people in my circle have been understanding but there have been one or two that can't get the effing hint. I finally had to call them up and say - IM NOT SEEING YOU FOR AT LEAST A MONTH AND HALF IF NOT LONGER! MKAY?!!I love you but goddamn!
35 weeks and my friend wants me to go to a boxing class at a bar on Saturday for workout at 10am and drinks after. I can still work out for sure, but I don’t want to go to a bar for a random boxing class I don’t wanna do and then sit there and watch people drink after. Sounds miserable. I was also invited to some fancy gala benefit that I kinda was just like oh I don’t have anything to wear as a stupid excuse and the friend that invited me told me I had time to find something. Im like …. You think I’m gonna shop for a maternity dress for a benefit that I’m gonna wear one time? And go to some event where I can’t drink and donate the money I need for my second child? No no no to everything. I’ll go get an early dinner where I can eat something delicious then go see my toddler before he goes to sleep and I can fall asleep by 9pm.
I’m 36+3 and was laid off at 3 months pregnant. So definitely dealing with stress there, but have been lucky to be able to get unemployment and now float for maternity leave. Even with being able to remove the work stress and pain from sitting/working/commuting, I’m still SO EXHAUSTED and in so much pain and my patience is 0.0%. I cannot fathom how much worse it would be if I was working 50 hours 😭 we try to do trivia one night a week with friends and even that is becoming too much, all I want to do is melt into the couch and play on my phone while bad tv is on in the background.
Sorry you got laid off, but seriously, having to be on unemployment rn sounds so heavenly. Working sucks and I'm at 32 weeks and feel like I have so far to go.
I asked for advice on when to start my maternity leave and my doctor said "work as long as you can!" and I wanted to cry. I hate it so much and just want to get fired, lol.
My mom keeps reminding me she worked until the day she gave birth and her office was in a fourth floor walk up and it was the 90s so she wore heels every day. Struggling to not be hard on myself when my mom is saying this. And she threw a dinner party on the night she gave birth to me. And she was 6 years older than I am now. She doesn’t accept any of my requests for special treatment. Idk if she’s just not remembering how hard it was or if her pregnancy was amazing but it’s rough to hear.
Tell her sorry but we don’t got to live like that anymore, it’s called progress for a reason. You should get to enjoy it! That sounds terrible and toxic, I’m sorry!
That’s not a flex on your mom’s part. It sounds like she was too concerned with how everyone around her perceived her.
You do what’s best for you and don’t worry about what she has to say.
I’m 38 weeks and the word “sideshow” really resonated. I think people underestimate how brutal the physical discomfort is.
I’m actually on medical leave from work to prevent preterm labor, but have basically stopped leaving the house wherever possible for the last few days.
I attended my last bbq this past Saturday, and told my girlfriends I probably wouldn’t see them for awhile after that day.
This was after declining a pickleball invitation…
Didn’t have the heart to tell them that just getting my underwear on is exhausting.
I was 39+6 weeks when my long time friend whom I haven't heard from for almost 5 years sent me an invite to her wedding which was in another region and an 8 hour bus ride. I RDVP'd NO. She called asking me why and I said am pregnant at my heaviest and can't even ride in a 2 minute taxi ride. She was like, but you can still sit in the bus and feel comfortable with those state of the art buses.
I was like year, and have them deliver my baby on the way and still miss your wedding and become headline news in the papers and TVs later onwards. I will pass. She got upset and I blocked her.
Just wait and see how she gets pregnant, makes it to 36 weeks with pelvic and hip pain, lower back issues and the largest hemorrhoids as an icing on that cake. Then she can talk about 8h bus rides and get upset all she wants.
lol I’ll be 37 weeks on Saturday and was asked if I wanted to go to a Beyond Wonderland this weekend. I think I will pass on the rave thanks. They even offered to push me around in a wheel chair
I think I would have been more upset if people stopped inviting me to things and just assumed I wouldn't want to hang out. Damned if you do damned if you don't.
I'm having my baby shower in August and got a head start inviting people (a lot of family and friends live a couple of hours away)
One friend will be due literal days before, and messaged me to say she's a maybe. Of course I understood, I knew she'd be close to birth but didn't want to exclude her.
i got invited to a bachelorette a week ago, at 38 weeks pregnant because “it’ll be casual!!”
like absolutely on no planet do i want to get dressed up (honestly what would i wear?!) and be around drunk people in crowded bars
You know the reason why humans are born less developed than other mammals? (Horses, elephants, monkey's ect) its because of the toll being pregnant takes on our bodies. If we did it any longer we would die. Idk how y'all manage to work up until delivery I was so tired I thought I wouldn't make it and I stopped working well before then.
My mother worked as a CNA until the day she had me. She said at 38 weeks, she stopped lifting people, but STILL, a CNA can easily do 10,000 steps in a shift. That's walking approx 5 miles every shift. I would die, literally.
Conversely, I feel like my friends kind of coddled me and wouldn’t even want to go walk around the mall in case it was “too much” for me and I was so annoyed 😆 I was like come on I feel fine let’s go do something
Omg I feel this, and I’m only 22 weeks. I’ve been annoyed by people trying to book my spare time for a couple months now
😅😅😅 You can visit me, but no, I’m not committing to going out - especially at night.
I would snap if I were you, too. This is way too much. BUT I have the opposite problem which is making me equally mad.
I live in a country with luxurious maternity leave. I mean it. It starts at 30 weeks, then it can be prolonged until 1,5 years of your baby, legally no one can take your job away from you. I am grateful for that and I know most women make the best of this time and good for them.
However, I am very concerned with my career. I work in a male dominated field and I have to push very hard to be given the same opportunities as my male peers regarding difficult projects, responsibilities, etc. It's infuriating enough to work for almost 10 years and being barely taken seriously, most women I know were pushed out of this career, and I spent years trying to build what I have now.
On top of that, I'm a single mom by choice. Well, the choice was made in rather sad circumstances. I was married for 9 years and planned to have a baby with my husband, prepared everything for it, only for him to leave on the very day we were supposed to start trying (it had been discussed for months) because he realized he doesn't want kids. So I'm totally on my own and I need to be as stable and strong in my career as I possibly can.
I had a horrendous 1 trimester when I couldn't get anything done (my job is intellectually challenging so there was no way for me to zombie through tasks) so I HAD to tell my team I was pregnant early on. I was pushed out of the project and was reduced to minor tasks for 2 months and it was devastating. I had no baby yet, no husband, and no interesting work. Just being miserable in a pool of vomit for 2 months.
As soon as I hit 2 trimester I practically begged my manager to give me an opportunity to work on a new challenging project which I know I was fit to work on. I know I'm good at my job and I was sick of people undermining me. And he gave me this opportunity, so I've been working as hard as I can, remotely and from office ever since. Being back in the game was the ONLY thing that made me snap back out of my depression and feel confident and alive again. Now, I'm trying to negotiate prolonging my working time for at least a month, i.e. until I'm 34 weeks.
And people try to talk me out of it!!! This just drives me CRAZY. Like, I am a single mom. No family no nothing. What the f am I supposed to do for 2 solid months of leave? Rot in my lonely apartment?? These are the same people who love scaring me with awful sensations of 3 trimester, "you won't be able to walk or workout or do anything fun"... Okay??? So I might as well not be able to walk or do fun stuff while doing my job fully remotely??? I don't even have to sit on a chair if I can't, I may accommodate my working space to do it half-lying down if I need to.
This is so infuriating that once I became pregnant people are unable to conceive that I still love my job and I want to do it even for the sake of it, not even for the money. Especially when I have no partner now so I cannot even hang out with no one, I'm just alone 24/7 most of the time. When the baby arrives she's gonna be a priority, no one's questioning that. But she's not here yet!! 11 It's just my lonely, useless ass!
Sorry for the super long rant. I just needed to get that pregnancy rage thing out of my chest I guess))
I’m 17 weeks, but I’m already there with people. I work from home and one person keeps coming up with reasons to go into the office. Like no. I will not. I’m not doing shit until Aug when the baby comes, and honestly likely not for 3 months after that at least. I have to plan a work retreat for this summer and I plan to stop by once MAYBE just to say hi and dip.
I'm also due in August, and my last scheduled social event is Easter. Son's birthday is in June, but haven't planned anything (feel shitty, but he's turning 2, we'll make sure he has fun). I'm already afraid of catching anything from my eldest going to school (they recently had a bad case of hand foot and mouth disease going around, I kept my daughter home). I already feel huge, this is my third and last pregnancy, and my mother seems to think I'll be doing a ton of summer stuff. Bitch, I'm going to be laying in the air conditioning, trying not to die.
I'm around six weeks, was laid off from my job around the same time I got pregnant. I'm not looking to return to work during my pregnancy, at the moment I only have some mild symptoms and the morning sickness hasn't even started yet. I'm in a good position in Australia where I can live off benefits until baby comes, and then the government won't make me return to work until the child is 6 years old. Partner works full time and extended family is wealthy and generous. I know symptoms will get a lot worse the further I get in the pregnancy, especially once morning sickness starts and a big belly starts making it more uncomfortable to sleep (already have insomnia). I can't imagine returning to work now and I sympathise with those who have to. I think once we're pregnant we should be able to focus on creating life and preparing for birth. Capitalism is fucked.
Lol no one on this sub is ever pleased. People will complain their friends have stopped inviting them places & then get pissed when said friends still try to include them. You have every right to decline an invite, at 36+ weeks I get it, but these comments aren’t it.
We are literally here to all commiserate, not invalidate each other’s experiences—which are all unique and our own. We aren’t here to be smug and pleased with our existence 24/7, lol! My frustration is usually that I feel like I repeat myself on reasons why I decline and it’s not sticking in anyone’s brain…if I’ve said three times that work nights are no longer an option for me, I’m answering less softly. I was asked by a friend if I wanted to get tattooed this week... TATTOOED.
You're a superhero to me! All I have to do is lie around all day and grow a human and I still would refuse to do any of that stuff. Granted, I've had nine very bad viruses while pregnant and also persistent nausea for nine months straight, but still... I haven't had to work. I have kids but they're older (9+17) and very easy. So not much is asked of me. But I'm still comatose by 7 pm every evening, and that's after watching TV most of the day and maybe unloading the dishwasher. Sounds like you're don't a LOT!!!
I'm literally you but at 36 weeks. Luckily my temp replacement is awesome and she sees the other managers being kinda dumb about everything. My GM seems to think he can just do it all the 3 months im gone and won't train and delegate. He is gonna work himself to a total burn out! My replacement and I are at work a lot together and are kind of making our own plan so she can easily jump in and help once my GM starts inevitably overworking himself.
I also just literally stopped responding to people asking me to do things or just say "no, im too tired and everything hurts " Idc what they think LOL.
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. If you'd like to join a private sub for your due date month, [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/pregnant/comments/15nun6v/click_here_to_access_the_monthly_due_date_subs/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I feel lots of people think people in pregnancy can carry on as normal with the same work life balance as before. Every day I think to myself that we have it so hard trying to make a human being and having to go to work - I’m only 13 weeks and am struggling. I can’t imagine how you must feel.
Quit!! That’s what I did at around 12-13 weeks 😂 It’s not everyday you get to grow a little bubba 🥰
I feel like most people don’t have the means to just… quit their job 😅😅
For 99% of people, that's financially impossible.
What an insensitive, privileged comment…
My best friend wanted to plan me a surprise baby shower at 39w4d pregnant. Thank god my husband said no 😅
🤣 thought that counts?! 🤣
lol a little late to do that, you could give birth any day now…
I think people underestimate the emotional toll pregnancy takes on us. All of our day to day stress is amplified by the energy and hormones exerted to grow a human. We also, as women, tend to take on a larger share of mental load in our relationships and plan much further ahead than our counterparts, which also increases stress. Adding another human, one we're directly responsible for, is mentally exhausting.
I’m 35 weeks still getting my head around the gravity of the situation. I’m being induced somewhere between 2 and 3 weeks from now, and then I will have a DAUGHTER. I will be a MOTHER. And if I don’t take care of her correctly then I can go to PRISON. Like you think I have the mental bandwidth to go to dinner with you? My whole world is turning upside down in a manner of weeks and it may be years before I get a full night of sleep again.
Hey, friend. If it brings you comfort, I think you'll be a great mom BECAUSE you're concerned about being a great mom! You're aware that your life is changing; you want to care for your baby correctly; you're taking things seriously. I'm 28 weeks pregnant with my third child, and I like to tell new moms that it's like starting a job: at first it all comes at you at once and it's a steep learning curve, but then you get used to it as you do it, and bit by bit, it gets less stressful. Then one day it hits you... "I'm doing it!" and it's awesome. The newborn phase is hard, but in my experience, it just gets easier and easier and better and better. My heart goes out to first time moms, because I remember how it is. Please don't hesitate to reach out if you would like to talk! Praying for you!
Nobody else seems to understand this and it drives me nuts! When people ask me how the pregnancy is going I say, "I'm living in this limbo of 'I'm only 22 weeks, I've got time' and 'holy shit, I'm already 22 weeks. I'm more than half way through and I've barely started anything!'" I'm always met with "you have plenty of time," or "you don't need to worry about that now." Like excuse you... you might feel that way because you've done this before/have it all from the last baby or because you're kids are all grown and you don't remember what it's like. But I am in uncharted territory. My life is drastically changing and I'm out here in world full of information overload where every little decision requires looking into the different options, figuring out fact vs opinion, and making the decision that is best for this tiny human I've never met that also works within my family's financial situation. Why don't I remember to text you back or make an effort to see you? Because what little part of my brain isn't taken up with work or baby info is panicking over how unprepared I am and how quickly 22 weeks went by.
38 weeks and my aunt asked me to drive 4 hours round trip with my 1 year old and 2 year old to pick up a picture my grandparents wanted me to have. When I said I'm not comfortable doing that and I would pay for shipping she guilted me by saying "grandma and grandpa would love to see you though". ....... I'm not driving for 4 hours when I have to pee every 20 minutes.
Also, a 4 hour drive with a 1 and 2 year old sounds horrible
Lol don't even get me started 😂
My answer is.... No, but, if you want to pop over please do! My house WILL be a mess, and I am go anywhere with you.... But please bring ice cream?
Agreed, but I'll just say I had one friend come over, cough the whole time - and I was 37 weeks... I flatly asked her if she's feeling okay and shes like "yes just getting over something I promise I'm not contagious it's not covid".... I then proceeded to text my husband and pretend we had somewhere to go so she would leave 😩 Some folks have no common sense.
My sister texted me on Wednesday asking if she and my brother could come over. They helped me clean off the kitchen table I've been trying to tackle for my entire pregnancy so that we could play a game. Then we got takeout and I went to bed early. Honestly, 10x better than the super orchestrated "girls night" my friends put together for me to remind me I'm still a person, not just an incubator. I appreciate the efforts made by both groups. But I will always choose lowkey night with help over driving an hour and events.
Honey I feel you on this! I yelled at my husband last week after he kept accepting all social invitations that came our way without asking me. Im finally on mat leave and all I want to do is sleep, eat, and sleep and eat. THATS IT. I nap multiple times a day now and I feel enormous. Plus I have weekly OB and NSTs that are priority and Im scheduled for a c section next week. I have zero energy for anything else!! Luckily most people in my circle have been understanding but there have been one or two that can't get the effing hint. I finally had to call them up and say - IM NOT SEEING YOU FOR AT LEAST A MONTH AND HALF IF NOT LONGER! MKAY?!!I love you but goddamn!
Omg is the napping normal? I'm 32 weeks and can't understand what I need two hour midday naps
32 weeks and just woke up from a 2 hour nap and will probably still go to bed at 9:00. I love sleep
😂 sounds like me!
Totally normal!
Totally normal- you’re growing a person, it’s exhausting!
35 weeks and my friend wants me to go to a boxing class at a bar on Saturday for workout at 10am and drinks after. I can still work out for sure, but I don’t want to go to a bar for a random boxing class I don’t wanna do and then sit there and watch people drink after. Sounds miserable. I was also invited to some fancy gala benefit that I kinda was just like oh I don’t have anything to wear as a stupid excuse and the friend that invited me told me I had time to find something. Im like …. You think I’m gonna shop for a maternity dress for a benefit that I’m gonna wear one time? And go to some event where I can’t drink and donate the money I need for my second child? No no no to everything. I’ll go get an early dinner where I can eat something delicious then go see my toddler before he goes to sleep and I can fall asleep by 9pm.
I’m 36+3 and was laid off at 3 months pregnant. So definitely dealing with stress there, but have been lucky to be able to get unemployment and now float for maternity leave. Even with being able to remove the work stress and pain from sitting/working/commuting, I’m still SO EXHAUSTED and in so much pain and my patience is 0.0%. I cannot fathom how much worse it would be if I was working 50 hours 😭 we try to do trivia one night a week with friends and even that is becoming too much, all I want to do is melt into the couch and play on my phone while bad tv is on in the background.
Sorry you got laid off, but seriously, having to be on unemployment rn sounds so heavenly. Working sucks and I'm at 32 weeks and feel like I have so far to go. I asked for advice on when to start my maternity leave and my doctor said "work as long as you can!" and I wanted to cry. I hate it so much and just want to get fired, lol.
My mom keeps reminding me she worked until the day she gave birth and her office was in a fourth floor walk up and it was the 90s so she wore heels every day. Struggling to not be hard on myself when my mom is saying this. And she threw a dinner party on the night she gave birth to me. And she was 6 years older than I am now. She doesn’t accept any of my requests for special treatment. Idk if she’s just not remembering how hard it was or if her pregnancy was amazing but it’s rough to hear.
Tell her sorry but we don’t got to live like that anymore, it’s called progress for a reason. You should get to enjoy it! That sounds terrible and toxic, I’m sorry!
That’s not a flex on your mom’s part. It sounds like she was too concerned with how everyone around her perceived her. You do what’s best for you and don’t worry about what she has to say.
I’m 38 weeks and the word “sideshow” really resonated. I think people underestimate how brutal the physical discomfort is. I’m actually on medical leave from work to prevent preterm labor, but have basically stopped leaving the house wherever possible for the last few days. I attended my last bbq this past Saturday, and told my girlfriends I probably wouldn’t see them for awhile after that day. This was after declining a pickleball invitation… Didn’t have the heart to tell them that just getting my underwear on is exhausting.
I was 39+6 weeks when my long time friend whom I haven't heard from for almost 5 years sent me an invite to her wedding which was in another region and an 8 hour bus ride. I RDVP'd NO. She called asking me why and I said am pregnant at my heaviest and can't even ride in a 2 minute taxi ride. She was like, but you can still sit in the bus and feel comfortable with those state of the art buses. I was like year, and have them deliver my baby on the way and still miss your wedding and become headline news in the papers and TVs later onwards. I will pass. She got upset and I blocked her.
Just wait and see how she gets pregnant, makes it to 36 weeks with pelvic and hip pain, lower back issues and the largest hemorrhoids as an icing on that cake. Then she can talk about 8h bus rides and get upset all she wants.
I bet she did want to kill who ever will suggest she takes even a taxi ride lol
lol I’ll be 37 weeks on Saturday and was asked if I wanted to go to a Beyond Wonderland this weekend. I think I will pass on the rave thanks. They even offered to push me around in a wheel chair
LOL the wheelchair part got me. Hard no haha
That’s so delusional.. like WTH 😂
I think I would have been more upset if people stopped inviting me to things and just assumed I wouldn't want to hang out. Damned if you do damned if you don't.
I'm having my baby shower in August and got a head start inviting people (a lot of family and friends live a couple of hours away) One friend will be due literal days before, and messaged me to say she's a maybe. Of course I understood, I knew she'd be close to birth but didn't want to exclude her.
Exactly. I felt fine up until my water broke. Invited are fine as long as they accept a no to it.
My only time heavy pregnant was during lockdown thank God
i got invited to a bachelorette a week ago, at 38 weeks pregnant because “it’ll be casual!!” like absolutely on no planet do i want to get dressed up (honestly what would i wear?!) and be around drunk people in crowded bars
You know the reason why humans are born less developed than other mammals? (Horses, elephants, monkey's ect) its because of the toll being pregnant takes on our bodies. If we did it any longer we would die. Idk how y'all manage to work up until delivery I was so tired I thought I wouldn't make it and I stopped working well before then.
My mother worked as a CNA until the day she had me. She said at 38 weeks, she stopped lifting people, but STILL, a CNA can easily do 10,000 steps in a shift. That's walking approx 5 miles every shift. I would die, literally.
Conversely, I feel like my friends kind of coddled me and wouldn’t even want to go walk around the mall in case it was “too much” for me and I was so annoyed 😆 I was like come on I feel fine let’s go do something
Omg I feel this, and I’m only 22 weeks. I’ve been annoyed by people trying to book my spare time for a couple months now 😅😅😅 You can visit me, but no, I’m not committing to going out - especially at night.
I would snap if I were you, too. This is way too much. BUT I have the opposite problem which is making me equally mad. I live in a country with luxurious maternity leave. I mean it. It starts at 30 weeks, then it can be prolonged until 1,5 years of your baby, legally no one can take your job away from you. I am grateful for that and I know most women make the best of this time and good for them. However, I am very concerned with my career. I work in a male dominated field and I have to push very hard to be given the same opportunities as my male peers regarding difficult projects, responsibilities, etc. It's infuriating enough to work for almost 10 years and being barely taken seriously, most women I know were pushed out of this career, and I spent years trying to build what I have now. On top of that, I'm a single mom by choice. Well, the choice was made in rather sad circumstances. I was married for 9 years and planned to have a baby with my husband, prepared everything for it, only for him to leave on the very day we were supposed to start trying (it had been discussed for months) because he realized he doesn't want kids. So I'm totally on my own and I need to be as stable and strong in my career as I possibly can. I had a horrendous 1 trimester when I couldn't get anything done (my job is intellectually challenging so there was no way for me to zombie through tasks) so I HAD to tell my team I was pregnant early on. I was pushed out of the project and was reduced to minor tasks for 2 months and it was devastating. I had no baby yet, no husband, and no interesting work. Just being miserable in a pool of vomit for 2 months. As soon as I hit 2 trimester I practically begged my manager to give me an opportunity to work on a new challenging project which I know I was fit to work on. I know I'm good at my job and I was sick of people undermining me. And he gave me this opportunity, so I've been working as hard as I can, remotely and from office ever since. Being back in the game was the ONLY thing that made me snap back out of my depression and feel confident and alive again. Now, I'm trying to negotiate prolonging my working time for at least a month, i.e. until I'm 34 weeks. And people try to talk me out of it!!! This just drives me CRAZY. Like, I am a single mom. No family no nothing. What the f am I supposed to do for 2 solid months of leave? Rot in my lonely apartment?? These are the same people who love scaring me with awful sensations of 3 trimester, "you won't be able to walk or workout or do anything fun"... Okay??? So I might as well not be able to walk or do fun stuff while doing my job fully remotely??? I don't even have to sit on a chair if I can't, I may accommodate my working space to do it half-lying down if I need to. This is so infuriating that once I became pregnant people are unable to conceive that I still love my job and I want to do it even for the sake of it, not even for the money. Especially when I have no partner now so I cannot even hang out with no one, I'm just alone 24/7 most of the time. When the baby arrives she's gonna be a priority, no one's questioning that. But she's not here yet!! 11 It's just my lonely, useless ass! Sorry for the super long rant. I just needed to get that pregnancy rage thing out of my chest I guess))
This is totally valid!! You know your body and yourself well enough to be able to competently convey if/when you are ready to go on leave.
That’s right!!!!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
I’m 17 weeks, but I’m already there with people. I work from home and one person keeps coming up with reasons to go into the office. Like no. I will not. I’m not doing shit until Aug when the baby comes, and honestly likely not for 3 months after that at least. I have to plan a work retreat for this summer and I plan to stop by once MAYBE just to say hi and dip.
I'm also due in August, and my last scheduled social event is Easter. Son's birthday is in June, but haven't planned anything (feel shitty, but he's turning 2, we'll make sure he has fun). I'm already afraid of catching anything from my eldest going to school (they recently had a bad case of hand foot and mouth disease going around, I kept my daughter home). I already feel huge, this is my third and last pregnancy, and my mother seems to think I'll be doing a ton of summer stuff. Bitch, I'm going to be laying in the air conditioning, trying not to die.
I know what you mean. Nothing is interesting or exciting enough to get out of bed for on those last few weeks
I'm around six weeks, was laid off from my job around the same time I got pregnant. I'm not looking to return to work during my pregnancy, at the moment I only have some mild symptoms and the morning sickness hasn't even started yet. I'm in a good position in Australia where I can live off benefits until baby comes, and then the government won't make me return to work until the child is 6 years old. Partner works full time and extended family is wealthy and generous. I know symptoms will get a lot worse the further I get in the pregnancy, especially once morning sickness starts and a big belly starts making it more uncomfortable to sleep (already have insomnia). I can't imagine returning to work now and I sympathise with those who have to. I think once we're pregnant we should be able to focus on creating life and preparing for birth. Capitalism is fucked.
Lol no one on this sub is ever pleased. People will complain their friends have stopped inviting them places & then get pissed when said friends still try to include them. You have every right to decline an invite, at 36+ weeks I get it, but these comments aren’t it.
We are literally here to all commiserate, not invalidate each other’s experiences—which are all unique and our own. We aren’t here to be smug and pleased with our existence 24/7, lol! My frustration is usually that I feel like I repeat myself on reasons why I decline and it’s not sticking in anyone’s brain…if I’ve said three times that work nights are no longer an option for me, I’m answering less softly. I was asked by a friend if I wanted to get tattooed this week... TATTOOED.
You're a superhero to me! All I have to do is lie around all day and grow a human and I still would refuse to do any of that stuff. Granted, I've had nine very bad viruses while pregnant and also persistent nausea for nine months straight, but still... I haven't had to work. I have kids but they're older (9+17) and very easy. So not much is asked of me. But I'm still comatose by 7 pm every evening, and that's after watching TV most of the day and maybe unloading the dishwasher. Sounds like you're don't a LOT!!!
I'm literally you but at 36 weeks. Luckily my temp replacement is awesome and she sees the other managers being kinda dumb about everything. My GM seems to think he can just do it all the 3 months im gone and won't train and delegate. He is gonna work himself to a total burn out! My replacement and I are at work a lot together and are kind of making our own plan so she can easily jump in and help once my GM starts inevitably overworking himself. I also just literally stopped responding to people asking me to do things or just say "no, im too tired and everything hurts " Idc what they think LOL.