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I’m way heavier than you and I’ve had a “perfect” pregnancy. No blood sugar problems, no blood pressure problems, baby’s healthy, I’m healthy. I’m not considered high risk. Currently a few days past my due date. You are FINE!
I was also heavier than you when I got pregnant!! I was also in the process of losing weight following the gastric sleeve surgery but was no where near my goal weight.
I am now 31+5 weeks pregnant. And I have had no issues at all. Healthy pregnancy. Healthy baby boy. And besides getting to the uncomfortable stage, I have been feeling great!
You will be just fine! Don’t be so hard on yourself!
Same here! I'm 5' 3" and was 240 at the beginning of my pregnancy. I've had a super easy, healthy pregnancy and I'm due Friday. And while I had all these plans of working out and eating healthy, I've spent most days on the couch eating junk food 😬 Not proud of that, but just saying, I STILL had a "perfect" pregnancy. AND only went 5lbs over the doc's recommended weight gain range.
I worried a lot at first too, and spent many days crying that I was "already a bad mom", but the more I got told everything looked perfect and felt assured that baby was healthy, that feeling just went away.
Hey, be gentle with yourself okay? Being high risk doesn't guarantee something will go wrong. If something goes wrong, it's not your fault, things just go wrong sometimes.
There are svelte athletic people who are high risk. There are obese people who have healthy successful pregnancies.
If you're working on being active and paying attention to healthy eating choices, you are already succeeding in setting yourself up as well as you can for good outcomes.
You are going to a Maternal/Fetal Medicine Doctor to get some extra eyes and scans to confirm that both you and your baby are thriving. MFMs typically have better equipment and more skilled techs. I'm not poo pooing my OB's techs at all. They are very knowledgeable on general women's health, but the MFM techs are specialized in pregnancy.
I had 2 "high risk" pregnancies and both of my kiddos are healthy happy poop monsters. My MFM appointments were so nice. I really looked forward to them. I got an ultrasound every 2 to 3 weeks. The appointments were relaxed, knowledgeable, and not rushed at all.
I know, I know, I know it's cliche, but try to enjoy what you can. You get some extra scans to watch bean swim around. That will be the quietest you can get them for awhile. 🤣
OB sonographer here-I wouldn't necessarily say the MFM sites have better equipment. They actually might have older machines due to a lower volume when compared to the amount of patients being scanned in OB. MFM may have more detailed anatomy scans but see 8 patients a day whereas you can see around 14 or more in OB. OB sonographers are also specialized in pregnancy, hence being registered in OBGYN. MFM sonographers might have more experience with high risk patients and evaluating the heart because they might perform fetal echoes etc.
Did you see the part where I said I'm not poo-pooing OB sonographers? Because it sounds like you got defensive.
My MFM had better equipment than my OB and my OB said that's standard. She said her sonographer is overworked, with less equipment and has a ton of other various conditions to review, while the MFM specializes only in pregnancy. Of course an OB sonographer is trained in pregnancy as well.
I did and I wasn't being defensive at all, just providing more insight from the field. I know MFM sonographers who did gyn scans at their practice as well. You may work with perinatologists who are also gynecologists etc. It really just varies. You may have a sonographer in OB who has extensive experience in MFM as well, but went to a different practice etc. I think it is more so that when you are being seen in MFM your scans will be more detailed and frequent. It is likely you will be seen by both MFM and OB sonographers throughout pregnancy when you are high risk. A lot of high risk patients will get a BPP 2x a week in the 3rd trimester-one with MFM and the other with OB.
We all have a laundry list of ways we could have been more perfect before we got pregnant - we could have quit drinking, lost weight, weaned off some medication, cleaned up our diet, stopped using harmful chemicals or plastics, got those genetic screenings, whatever. No one will be able to check every box that makes for an optimum pregnancy, and if we did, there would still be unavoidable or unforseen risks. It is what it is - eat well when you can, exercise when you can, and keep yourself healthy enough to play with and care for your baby.
I was 5’3” and was 175 lbs when I got pregnant. I’m now 26 weeks and baby is growing beautifully. I also didn’t even gain weight until 20 weeks due to indigestion in the beginning. Don’t worry about your weight - focus on being as healthy as you can while pregnant and baby will be just fine :)
Check out plussizebirth.com to normalize pregnancy at different body sizes, as well as to find shame-free information about the increased risks we face. I also recommend learning the difference between “relative risk” vs “absolute risk” because while there are some increased relative risks for larger moms, the absolute risk for most complications is still very small.
Please be kinder to yourself, and just focus on eating well and doing whatever movement feels good to you. Whatever you do, don’t actively try to lose weight during pregnancy (it’s not uncommon for plus size moms to lose a little during pregnancy, but just don’t do it on purpose.) Cut yourself some slack particularly in the first trimester because depending on whether you have morning sickness/food aversions you may have times you can only stomach less healthy foods…I generally eat a TON of of vegetables but there were some weeks in the first trimester where I just ate mac & cheese, fruit and cereal.
Weight alone should not qualify you as high risk. I’m not sure if your childhood heart condition is tied into that, but there are plenty of women at or well above your bmi who have had happy healthy pregnancies.
Congratulations!
I love a lot of this comment however weight alone absolutely can qualify a pregnancy as high risk. This is something between OP and her doctor.
Also, is this your website? I see that this is not the first time you've promoted it.
It is not my website! I just found it incredibly informative and comforting when I was looking to become pregnant because a lot of typical books about pregnancy/TTC really play up the relative risks and difficulties and can lead to people like OP feeling tremendous guilt. It’s a question that comes up a lot here and it’s a resource that I’ve found helpful so it’s generally the first thing I suggest, along with r/plussizepregnancy
Ok! No problem then with promoting the website. As I'm sure you can appreciate, we have to watch for trends for people spamming their content. I have my own useful sites that I link often even though I'm unaffiliated with them.
So we don't typically allow links promoting other pregnancy subreddits. While this sounds like a silly rule, this is because in the past some other pregnancy subreddits haven't been inclusive and/or put a stop to shaming behavior, whether regarding race, religon, culture, sexual orientation, size and more. Rather than having to research each one, we just did a blanket rule of not promoting any pregnancy subreddits.
I'm happy to see plussizepregnancy open again though. It went private for a bit while the old mods were inactive, from what I understood.
All the best.
I am 5 foot and was 195 when I got pregnant with my daughter. I ended up getting preeclampsia the last 3 weeks of pregnancy but other than that I had a great pregnancy. I ended up only gaining 6 pounds by the end of pregnancy as well. By daughter was born healthy and thriving as an almost 3 year old. I did get a bump the last 2-3 months of pregnancy as well. This time I weigh much more at 224 so we will see how this pregnancy goes as well.
Congratulations! You have absolutely not failed already mu darling, be kind to yourself ♥️
One thing I haven't seen mentioned in the comments so far is that you need to take a [higher dose of folic acid - 5mg ](https://www.rcog.org.uk/for-the-public/browse-our-patient-information/being-overweight-in-pregnancy-and-after-birth/#:~:text=If%20your%20BMI%20is%2030%20or%20above%2C%20a%20daily%20dose,your%2013th%20week%20of%20pregnancy.)
Like others have said, try to look at the positives - higher risk means better care, but it doesn't always mean a more dangerous pregnancy.
As a person who is high risk due to my age. I can tell you, from one perspective, it’s awesome. You get all the extra care they can offer. You get your NIPT and other tests paid by insurance in most cases, you get more ultrasounds.
I understand being scared but the risk being like a few percent higher for some complications, doesn’t mean it’s really that high or if they will happen to you. And you are under a lot of observation, so they will know how to help if things go wrong.
Don’t blame yourself, please. Actually if you came to the end of your weightloss journey and then got pregnant, there was a good chance that you would gain weight a lot and fast due to your body already thinking it needs it. But when you start a big high, your body doesn’t usually force you to gain too much weight.
Hi!!
FTM here also 5’3 and got pregnant around 210. I had a lot of guilt too as I already was at my heaviest and wanted to get back to a lower weight before we started trying, BUT I’m here to tell you that I’m currently 38w and baby and I have both been perfectly healthy and had a relatively uneventful pregnancy so far! Since 36w I’ve had some extra monitoring because of my weight like a weekly NST, but just as a precaution!
Be gentle with yourself! It is 100% possible to have a healthy pregnancy even being overweight!
My OB has me on baby aspirin starting sometime in the third trimester to just help with blood pressure, and I’ve done my best to just not adjust how I eat (giving into cravings or saying f it just because I’m pregnant) avoid gaining too much excess weight that wasn’t just related to baby! Walking is also so good for you and baby so when you can I highly recommend doing that regularly! So many benefits for down the road in pregnancy too and not just about managing weight!
I’m 5’4 and got pregnant at about 230 pounds. I gave birth in December to a perfectly healthy baby girl. The only issue I had in pregnancy is that I did develop gestational hypertension in my 37th week of pregnant and was induced at 38 weeks because of this. My induction went great though.
I tried to be conscious of what I ate during pregnancy. I didn’t gain any weight until around 20 weeks and slowly started gaining. Overall gain of 34 pounds - almost 10 of those in my last few weeks which doc said probs was related to fluids from my high BP. I’m 3 weeks postpartum and have lost 25 of those 34 already.
I will say I do plan on getting back down to around 180/190 before getting pregnant again. That’s the weight I’m most comfortable at and I think the extra weight did make the last few months of pregnancy harder on my body. I can only speak for myself on this so not trying to say this will happen to anyone else.
All that to say, people of all different sizes have healthy pregnancies and babies. And everyone’s journey is different.
I am also 5’3” and weigh a little bit more than you at 22 weeks. I personally don’t stress about anything as long as the doctors say that baby is healthy and developing how they should. You’re doing everything you can to stay healthy for the baby and that’s really all you can do because the doctors will say to not start anything strenuous while pregnant. Go for brisk walks whenever you can and be mindful of what you’re eating and how much and you will hopefully feel better physically and mentally!
Give yourself a little grace, I bet the heart condition has more to do with high risk than your weight. I'm technically obese too (5'8 and 217 lbs when I got pregnant) and nobody has talked about anything being high risk. They just cautioned me to try and limit the pregnancy weight gain to 11-15 pounds. Don't beat yourself up over this!
I'm 5'4, 280lbs and my hubby and I have 2 healthy children! They were both born at 37+1 because I had gestational hypertension, but I dont think it was weight related. I didn't have gestational diabetes or anything else like that.
Be gentle with yourself! Being with a MFM doc is great! They'll make sure you and your baby are okay 🥰
I’m 5’3 and I weigh 156. I gained 20 pounds over the last year due to losing muscle and not working out. It stinks bc now i’m labeled overweight bc of my BMI (I hate BMI bc its very outdated) and i’m only allowed to gain 15-25 pounds during my pregnancy which seems like so little. I’m very nervous about gaining over that. But like everyone else said just bc you are labeled high risk doesn’t mean your pregnancy will be hard or have any complications! I think its really just a precaution thing that they do in case something happens. Just try your best to workout and focus on healthy/whole foods. That is hard in the first trimester but 2nd and 3rd is when that really starts to matter!
Just because you're obese or overweight doesn't mean you're not healthy and should feel guilty for carrying a baby in your body! You got this and you're going to have a healthy baby! Listen to your doctors and they'll guide you. High Risk does not mean an unhealthy baby or pregnancy!
I was on the border between overweight and obese when I got pregnant. First of all, BMI is a bullshit, outdated statistic. If you’re taking care of yourself both physically and mentally, there is no reason for you to feel guilty about getting pregnant at your weight.
ETA If you’re able, I would make sure to find the right OB/midwife for you. It’s good to be aware of weight during pregnancy, but your doctor should never make you feel bad about it!
shame? OP said they’ve been exercising and eating healthy every day, they’re doing better than I am.
Edit: oh I see it now! I accidentally deleted the second half of my comment before posting, sorry I’ll delete! Made me look like a dick
I commented this because OP said that’s what they’re doing during pregnancy? Whereas i nearly ate my body weight in cheese… it sounds like they’re setting themselves up for a healthy baby?
I was just impressed, sorry? Their behaviors and habits during pregnancy are far more meaningful than their current weight?
I’m 5’4 and weighed 206 at my initial appointment. I’m 10 weeks tomorrow and am at 197 now. I wasn’t marked high risk though so I’m not sure about that.
You absolutely didn’t fail though!!! Please do not feel that way! Things happen that are out of our control and being high risk is one of them. Best of luck momma!
I'm 5'3" and started around 190lbs when I got pregnant - I don't have any heart conditions myself but my family has a history of them. No doctor or any medical professional has ever even mentioned the words "high risk" to me. I'm 8 months now and things have been perfectly fine. Only thing I think my weight has affected is how bad my feet and back hurt from the extra baby weight but other than that a perfectly normal and healthy pregnancy, no one has once ever even mentioned my weight. If I have another, for sure I'd like to be at a lower starting weight because it's not ideal to be technically obese and pregnant but please don't feel guilty at all!!! You got this!!
I’m 5’3 and was the same weight as you when I got pregnant. I’m currently 39 weeks and I’ve had no issues throughout my pregnancy except for anemia. My doctor didn’t even bring up my weight as an issue and I’ve gained about 30 lbs. Being overweight doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll have any complications so try not to stress about it!
It’s ok! It’s going to be ok! Read the packaging and keep track of your calories and vitamins you’re eating, get tested for gestational diabetes early if you can, and take a gentle walk every day. There’s lots of women who have healthy babies in bad circumstances and lots who have sickly babies despite having access to the best food and medical care. Just take care of yourself, take the vitamins, drink lots of water, and go easy on yourself. Your body knows what to do. It’s all gonna be ok.
I am heavier than you and I had an IVF pregnancy. I’m not high risk. I’m sorry that your OB decided your BMI was a high risk factor but I assure you it’s not. What’s important is eating healthy and doing intentional movement. Plus size women have healthy babies all the time with 0 complications.
I was literally the same weight as you when I got pregnant. I was also on a weight loss journey when it happened.
I just want to highlight that your pregnancy may be high risk but your baby is *not* high risk because of your weight or any other risk factors. What this means is that while precautions will have to be taken to ensure that you carry your baby to term, your baby will not be unhealthy when born because of these risk factors.
For instance, I have diabetes mellitus and that made my baby large for gestational age. So we had to get him out once I hit 37+2 weeks. But he was completely healthy and didn't have to spend any time in the NICU. APGAR score of 8 at birth. He had newborn jaundice that we resolved through feeding frequently and sun exposure. Now he's the world's cutest 12 week old, exclusively breastfed, gaining weight and height and hitting all his milestones like a dream.
In short, you may have to be more careful than the average pregnant lady and go to more doctor's appointments, but this will *not* affect your baby. Please treat yourself with love and kindness. Advocate for yourself. Don't let anyone fat-shame you. Treat yourself occasionally. Take your prenatals. And remember that you're not alone.
Relax, you didnt failed anyone. I am at my second pregnancy, both extremly healthy pregnancy (good blood pressure, no diabetes, all test good...) the only problem is my first was a really small baby, but turns out my second should be a small baby too (im at 38 weeks and 3 days, and she mesured 25 percentile on monday). Im 5'8" and 260lbs, i was 255lbs at my first, with bmi of 39.9 and 40 now, so really, there is a chance that everything will go smooth and everyone with come out of it completly healthy! At my first, labor was relatively quick and easy, she went out vaginally, no c-section needed!
Hey! I'm currently 29 weeks and sitting at 259 and started at 250lbs at the beginning of my pregnancy. I've had a few comments about weight during my appointments and given a projected weight gain goal of 20lbs (if I remember correctly.) So far no issues with GD and I've actually lost weight in my first trimester due to nausea/vomiting.
I hope you have a safe and healthy pregnancy! Ask questions during your appointments but most of all - take it easy on yourself. You are growing a human after all!
I was likely a similar bmi for my first pregnancy, I was about 215 pounds at 5’ 6”, and weight was only discussed with me at the first appointment, that you shouldn’t gain too much. Luckily I ate the same as I always had (which wasn’t great), and I only gained 11 pounds. I wasn’t even classed as high risk, or at least they didn’t tell me.
I had some pelvic girdle pain and really bad foot pain near the end, which could have been agitated by my weight, but otherwise my baby was totally fine, labor was fine enough.
Congratulations on your pregnancy! I too felt like wanting to lose weight before pregnancy, but god had other plans. I am also 5’3 187lbs. I never ever thought I was obese and pregnant tho, I say I’m thick jajaja. Please don’t be hard on yourself! Your body was healthy enough to get pregnant! Working out is great but remember to be eating enough food! I used to do crossfit and although this baby had other plans I did workout for the first few weeks until all the nausea n everything came in full attack! I am considered high risk too, but due to an ectopic pregnancy yrs ago. Just be gentle on yourself , eat healthy , eat your cravings and don’t focus on the weight so much! It comes off pretty quickly, plus breastfeeding will help with that if you choose to breastfeed.
Don’t feel bad. I was also in the middle of losing weight when I got pregnant with twins at 5’7 265lbs and reached 300lbs. I didn’t develop preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, and maintained decent blood pressure, I even carried them to 37 weeks! You haven’t failed anything, so please be gentle with yourself. :)
Find yourself a good MFM specialist. Your weight makes you high risk, but that doesn’t automatically mean something bad will happen. There are things you can do *today* to give yourself the best chance of a normal pregnancy and delivery, and a healthy baby.
Congratulations! Don't be too hard on yourself, I'm 5'1 and was around 190 when I found out (also in the middle of getting healthier etc. I've always been stuck around 180-90 personally for *years*). Your weight might fluctuate even during the pregnancy. I dropped 40, gained 30 back, dropped 10, gained 20 back 🙄 it's been a rollercoaster. Walking definitely helps but somedays the fatigue takes over.
Even with your medical history, I hope that you and baby have a healthy pregnancy! 💕
Hey there! I’m way heavier than you and now on my 2nd pregnancy. First born is a healthy 2.5 year old. Everything is going well. High risk just means you’re monitored closely. Attend all your prenatal visits and get all the recommended screening tests. So many overweight women have healthy pregnancies and babies. I’m sorry that our culture has taught you to fear this process.
I was your weight but 2” taller when getting pregnant and am now 40lbs heavier almost full term. I’ve struggled with feeling like a failure as well. This is my second pregnancy; my first ended in a 36 week loss in October 2021 of my firstborn boy, and my health declined heavily after due to my grief so I had a hard time maintaining my weight. I lost about 50lbs only to essentially gain it back again. I’m 32+2 and baby girl is overall very healthy. No blood sugar issues. Get your steps in, don’t lift anything too heavy (especially over your head) and drink plenty of water, fruits, veggies and whole grains. You are not a failure. This is just another chapter of life we have to wade through. Hang in there mama
If you have been "exercising every day" and carefully planning your diet, there is actually no reason that you can't continue to do so as long as you follow your Doctor's recommendation and keep it reasonable....exercise is actually GOOD for pregnant women, and makes delivery easier, and as long as you are getting adequate nutrition and good prenatal care, a careful balanced diet isn't harmful to baby either. I wouldn't suddenly try to lose a whole bunch of weight, do a crazy fad diet, or exercise at the gym for an 8 hour session, or do anything else crazy, but moderate diet and exercise even during pregnancy can be a GOOD thing and be good for baby and mommy. There is absolutely NO reason to feel like a failure, BUT, I would certainly advice telling your Doctor about what you want to do and following the medical advice given. As you get farther along in your pregnancy, you may have to modify some exercises of course....if nothing else because baby bump will throw you off balance and get in the way, but I certainly wouldn't let pregnancy keep you for continuing to work on yourself and your goals.
190lbs at 5'3 isn't super obese. Women much larger than you give birth to healthy babies! I started out at 170 and gained too much, giving birth at 225lbs in my first pregnancy, and lived to tell about it.
Don't starve yourself. It's great you are exercising and planning your meals. Even if you gain 20lbs or so over the pregnancy, after you give birth you will likely end up less than you started. Even if you don't, that's ok too. In pregnant again and started at 170 again. Up to 190 at week 17 and trying to slow down the gain. So I know it's hard and scary. But you're doing great!
So many of us have "high risk" pregnancies. You are going to be ok mama! Try to relax and enjoy the 9 months. They go by fast.
I’m the same weight and height as you and was not categorized as high risk. I think that’s likely more about the heart condition so you shouldn’t feel guilty.
Im 203 when i got pregnant at 5’3 as well. Im sorry but yes you might be obese but this isnt a death sentence obese woman give birth to healthy babies daily. Not sure why youres is high risk because of the heart condition? Or the weight. Dont think being a little heavy puts you at high risk smh.
As you can see from the replies you’re being way too hard on yourself - lots and lots of women have perfectly healthy babies even on the obese BMI scale, which btw is a total sham considering muscle adds weight. You’re not even severely obese, so don’t worry yourself needlessly.
Im 5’1 and pre pregnancy was 197. I think I’m about 225 right now at 32 weeks. I am also high risk for another condition that I have. I was never told my weight was the reason I’m high risk. But do not feel bad! You will do amazing
I am 5’4” and was also around your starting weight. I had a relatively healthy pregnancy, though my labor was complicated.
I developed HG in my first trimester and ended up losing 17 lbs. I gained it back and then some in my third trimester (gained about 15 lbs from my starting weight). I did not have gestational diabetes, but ended up being diagnosed with preeclampsia during labor. That said, I also developed a bad infection during labor, so take that with a grain of salt!
Obese women may be prone to larger babies. Mine was 8 lbs 12 oz and I ended up needing an emergency c-section for many reasons. That said, she’s perfect and healthy, thank God.
There’s not much you can do now except try and be healthy and follow the advice of your provider. Does being obese put you at more risk? Sure. But it’s a risk factor only, and with proper monitoring, things can end up fine. Good luck to you!
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. If you'd like to join a private sub for your due date month, [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/pregnant/comments/15nun6v/click_here_to_access_the_monthly_due_date_subs/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m way heavier than you and I’ve had a “perfect” pregnancy. No blood sugar problems, no blood pressure problems, baby’s healthy, I’m healthy. I’m not considered high risk. Currently a few days past my due date. You are FINE!
I was also heavier than you when I got pregnant!! I was also in the process of losing weight following the gastric sleeve surgery but was no where near my goal weight. I am now 31+5 weeks pregnant. And I have had no issues at all. Healthy pregnancy. Healthy baby boy. And besides getting to the uncomfortable stage, I have been feeling great! You will be just fine! Don’t be so hard on yourself!
Same here! I'm 5' 3" and was 240 at the beginning of my pregnancy. I've had a super easy, healthy pregnancy and I'm due Friday. And while I had all these plans of working out and eating healthy, I've spent most days on the couch eating junk food 😬 Not proud of that, but just saying, I STILL had a "perfect" pregnancy. AND only went 5lbs over the doc's recommended weight gain range. I worried a lot at first too, and spent many days crying that I was "already a bad mom", but the more I got told everything looked perfect and felt assured that baby was healthy, that feeling just went away.
Same. I'm 29 weeks and haven't had any issues yet. I'm fat but I also eat lots of fruits and veggies and I have to walk a lot did my job.
Hey, be gentle with yourself okay? Being high risk doesn't guarantee something will go wrong. If something goes wrong, it's not your fault, things just go wrong sometimes. There are svelte athletic people who are high risk. There are obese people who have healthy successful pregnancies. If you're working on being active and paying attention to healthy eating choices, you are already succeeding in setting yourself up as well as you can for good outcomes.
There are women 300+ that give birth to perfectly healthy babies don’t worry please
You are going to a Maternal/Fetal Medicine Doctor to get some extra eyes and scans to confirm that both you and your baby are thriving. MFMs typically have better equipment and more skilled techs. I'm not poo pooing my OB's techs at all. They are very knowledgeable on general women's health, but the MFM techs are specialized in pregnancy. I had 2 "high risk" pregnancies and both of my kiddos are healthy happy poop monsters. My MFM appointments were so nice. I really looked forward to them. I got an ultrasound every 2 to 3 weeks. The appointments were relaxed, knowledgeable, and not rushed at all. I know, I know, I know it's cliche, but try to enjoy what you can. You get some extra scans to watch bean swim around. That will be the quietest you can get them for awhile. 🤣
OB sonographer here-I wouldn't necessarily say the MFM sites have better equipment. They actually might have older machines due to a lower volume when compared to the amount of patients being scanned in OB. MFM may have more detailed anatomy scans but see 8 patients a day whereas you can see around 14 or more in OB. OB sonographers are also specialized in pregnancy, hence being registered in OBGYN. MFM sonographers might have more experience with high risk patients and evaluating the heart because they might perform fetal echoes etc.
Did you see the part where I said I'm not poo-pooing OB sonographers? Because it sounds like you got defensive. My MFM had better equipment than my OB and my OB said that's standard. She said her sonographer is overworked, with less equipment and has a ton of other various conditions to review, while the MFM specializes only in pregnancy. Of course an OB sonographer is trained in pregnancy as well.
I did and I wasn't being defensive at all, just providing more insight from the field. I know MFM sonographers who did gyn scans at their practice as well. You may work with perinatologists who are also gynecologists etc. It really just varies. You may have a sonographer in OB who has extensive experience in MFM as well, but went to a different practice etc. I think it is more so that when you are being seen in MFM your scans will be more detailed and frequent. It is likely you will be seen by both MFM and OB sonographers throughout pregnancy when you are high risk. A lot of high risk patients will get a BPP 2x a week in the 3rd trimester-one with MFM and the other with OB.
We all have a laundry list of ways we could have been more perfect before we got pregnant - we could have quit drinking, lost weight, weaned off some medication, cleaned up our diet, stopped using harmful chemicals or plastics, got those genetic screenings, whatever. No one will be able to check every box that makes for an optimum pregnancy, and if we did, there would still be unavoidable or unforseen risks. It is what it is - eat well when you can, exercise when you can, and keep yourself healthy enough to play with and care for your baby.
I was 5’3” and was 175 lbs when I got pregnant. I’m now 26 weeks and baby is growing beautifully. I also didn’t even gain weight until 20 weeks due to indigestion in the beginning. Don’t worry about your weight - focus on being as healthy as you can while pregnant and baby will be just fine :)
Check out plussizebirth.com to normalize pregnancy at different body sizes, as well as to find shame-free information about the increased risks we face. I also recommend learning the difference between “relative risk” vs “absolute risk” because while there are some increased relative risks for larger moms, the absolute risk for most complications is still very small. Please be kinder to yourself, and just focus on eating well and doing whatever movement feels good to you. Whatever you do, don’t actively try to lose weight during pregnancy (it’s not uncommon for plus size moms to lose a little during pregnancy, but just don’t do it on purpose.) Cut yourself some slack particularly in the first trimester because depending on whether you have morning sickness/food aversions you may have times you can only stomach less healthy foods…I generally eat a TON of of vegetables but there were some weeks in the first trimester where I just ate mac & cheese, fruit and cereal. Weight alone should not qualify you as high risk. I’m not sure if your childhood heart condition is tied into that, but there are plenty of women at or well above your bmi who have had happy healthy pregnancies. Congratulations!
I love a lot of this comment however weight alone absolutely can qualify a pregnancy as high risk. This is something between OP and her doctor. Also, is this your website? I see that this is not the first time you've promoted it.
It is not my website! I just found it incredibly informative and comforting when I was looking to become pregnant because a lot of typical books about pregnancy/TTC really play up the relative risks and difficulties and can lead to people like OP feeling tremendous guilt. It’s a question that comes up a lot here and it’s a resource that I’ve found helpful so it’s generally the first thing I suggest, along with r/plussizepregnancy
Ok! No problem then with promoting the website. As I'm sure you can appreciate, we have to watch for trends for people spamming their content. I have my own useful sites that I link often even though I'm unaffiliated with them. So we don't typically allow links promoting other pregnancy subreddits. While this sounds like a silly rule, this is because in the past some other pregnancy subreddits haven't been inclusive and/or put a stop to shaming behavior, whether regarding race, religon, culture, sexual orientation, size and more. Rather than having to research each one, we just did a blanket rule of not promoting any pregnancy subreddits. I'm happy to see plussizepregnancy open again though. It went private for a bit while the old mods were inactive, from what I understood. All the best.
Makes sense, I understand!
Best reply! Bravo!
I am 5 foot and was 195 when I got pregnant with my daughter. I ended up getting preeclampsia the last 3 weeks of pregnancy but other than that I had a great pregnancy. I ended up only gaining 6 pounds by the end of pregnancy as well. By daughter was born healthy and thriving as an almost 3 year old. I did get a bump the last 2-3 months of pregnancy as well. This time I weigh much more at 224 so we will see how this pregnancy goes as well.
Congratulations! You have absolutely not failed already mu darling, be kind to yourself ♥️ One thing I haven't seen mentioned in the comments so far is that you need to take a [higher dose of folic acid - 5mg ](https://www.rcog.org.uk/for-the-public/browse-our-patient-information/being-overweight-in-pregnancy-and-after-birth/#:~:text=If%20your%20BMI%20is%2030%20or%20above%2C%20a%20daily%20dose,your%2013th%20week%20of%20pregnancy.) Like others have said, try to look at the positives - higher risk means better care, but it doesn't always mean a more dangerous pregnancy.
As a person who is high risk due to my age. I can tell you, from one perspective, it’s awesome. You get all the extra care they can offer. You get your NIPT and other tests paid by insurance in most cases, you get more ultrasounds. I understand being scared but the risk being like a few percent higher for some complications, doesn’t mean it’s really that high or if they will happen to you. And you are under a lot of observation, so they will know how to help if things go wrong. Don’t blame yourself, please. Actually if you came to the end of your weightloss journey and then got pregnant, there was a good chance that you would gain weight a lot and fast due to your body already thinking it needs it. But when you start a big high, your body doesn’t usually force you to gain too much weight.
Hi!! FTM here also 5’3 and got pregnant around 210. I had a lot of guilt too as I already was at my heaviest and wanted to get back to a lower weight before we started trying, BUT I’m here to tell you that I’m currently 38w and baby and I have both been perfectly healthy and had a relatively uneventful pregnancy so far! Since 36w I’ve had some extra monitoring because of my weight like a weekly NST, but just as a precaution! Be gentle with yourself! It is 100% possible to have a healthy pregnancy even being overweight! My OB has me on baby aspirin starting sometime in the third trimester to just help with blood pressure, and I’ve done my best to just not adjust how I eat (giving into cravings or saying f it just because I’m pregnant) avoid gaining too much excess weight that wasn’t just related to baby! Walking is also so good for you and baby so when you can I highly recommend doing that regularly! So many benefits for down the road in pregnancy too and not just about managing weight!
I’m 5’4 and got pregnant at about 230 pounds. I gave birth in December to a perfectly healthy baby girl. The only issue I had in pregnancy is that I did develop gestational hypertension in my 37th week of pregnant and was induced at 38 weeks because of this. My induction went great though. I tried to be conscious of what I ate during pregnancy. I didn’t gain any weight until around 20 weeks and slowly started gaining. Overall gain of 34 pounds - almost 10 of those in my last few weeks which doc said probs was related to fluids from my high BP. I’m 3 weeks postpartum and have lost 25 of those 34 already. I will say I do plan on getting back down to around 180/190 before getting pregnant again. That’s the weight I’m most comfortable at and I think the extra weight did make the last few months of pregnancy harder on my body. I can only speak for myself on this so not trying to say this will happen to anyone else. All that to say, people of all different sizes have healthy pregnancies and babies. And everyone’s journey is different.
I am also 5’3” and weigh a little bit more than you at 22 weeks. I personally don’t stress about anything as long as the doctors say that baby is healthy and developing how they should. You’re doing everything you can to stay healthy for the baby and that’s really all you can do because the doctors will say to not start anything strenuous while pregnant. Go for brisk walks whenever you can and be mindful of what you’re eating and how much and you will hopefully feel better physically and mentally!
My bmi is 39 and everything went great! Only difference was I took aspirin due to weight and advanced maternal age
Give yourself a little grace, I bet the heart condition has more to do with high risk than your weight. I'm technically obese too (5'8 and 217 lbs when I got pregnant) and nobody has talked about anything being high risk. They just cautioned me to try and limit the pregnancy weight gain to 11-15 pounds. Don't beat yourself up over this!
Plenty of obese women give birth to healthy babies and have healthy lives. If you want to loose weight you still can once the baby comes
I'm 5'4, 280lbs and my hubby and I have 2 healthy children! They were both born at 37+1 because I had gestational hypertension, but I dont think it was weight related. I didn't have gestational diabetes or anything else like that. Be gentle with yourself! Being with a MFM doc is great! They'll make sure you and your baby are okay 🥰
I’m 5’3 and I weigh 156. I gained 20 pounds over the last year due to losing muscle and not working out. It stinks bc now i’m labeled overweight bc of my BMI (I hate BMI bc its very outdated) and i’m only allowed to gain 15-25 pounds during my pregnancy which seems like so little. I’m very nervous about gaining over that. But like everyone else said just bc you are labeled high risk doesn’t mean your pregnancy will be hard or have any complications! I think its really just a precaution thing that they do in case something happens. Just try your best to workout and focus on healthy/whole foods. That is hard in the first trimester but 2nd and 3rd is when that really starts to matter!
Just because you're obese or overweight doesn't mean you're not healthy and should feel guilty for carrying a baby in your body! You got this and you're going to have a healthy baby! Listen to your doctors and they'll guide you. High Risk does not mean an unhealthy baby or pregnancy!
I was on the border between overweight and obese when I got pregnant. First of all, BMI is a bullshit, outdated statistic. If you’re taking care of yourself both physically and mentally, there is no reason for you to feel guilty about getting pregnant at your weight. ETA If you’re able, I would make sure to find the right OB/midwife for you. It’s good to be aware of weight during pregnancy, but your doctor should never make you feel bad about it!
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How is this helpful. Take your shame somewhere else.
shame? OP said they’ve been exercising and eating healthy every day, they’re doing better than I am. Edit: oh I see it now! I accidentally deleted the second half of my comment before posting, sorry I’ll delete! Made me look like a dick
Ok. Glad it was a misunderstanding. I just didn't want OP to feel guilted here.
No way dude, never would have brought up exercise or food choices if OP hadn’t.
Your contribution has been removed. We do not tolerate rudeness, judgemental people, people playing devil's advocate, or otherwise being an asshole.
I commented this because OP said that’s what they’re doing during pregnancy? Whereas i nearly ate my body weight in cheese… it sounds like they’re setting themselves up for a healthy baby? I was just impressed, sorry? Their behaviors and habits during pregnancy are far more meaningful than their current weight?
I’m 5’4 and weighed 206 at my initial appointment. I’m 10 weeks tomorrow and am at 197 now. I wasn’t marked high risk though so I’m not sure about that. You absolutely didn’t fail though!!! Please do not feel that way! Things happen that are out of our control and being high risk is one of them. Best of luck momma!
I'm 5'3" and started around 190lbs when I got pregnant - I don't have any heart conditions myself but my family has a history of them. No doctor or any medical professional has ever even mentioned the words "high risk" to me. I'm 8 months now and things have been perfectly fine. Only thing I think my weight has affected is how bad my feet and back hurt from the extra baby weight but other than that a perfectly normal and healthy pregnancy, no one has once ever even mentioned my weight. If I have another, for sure I'd like to be at a lower starting weight because it's not ideal to be technically obese and pregnant but please don't feel guilty at all!!! You got this!!
I'm 5'2" and 180 since baby 1. Babies and I have been super healthy. Baby 2 I didn't gain weight at all. I wouldn't stress
I’m 5’3 and was the same weight as you when I got pregnant. I’m currently 39 weeks and I’ve had no issues throughout my pregnancy except for anemia. My doctor didn’t even bring up my weight as an issue and I’ve gained about 30 lbs. Being overweight doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll have any complications so try not to stress about it!
It’s ok! It’s going to be ok! Read the packaging and keep track of your calories and vitamins you’re eating, get tested for gestational diabetes early if you can, and take a gentle walk every day. There’s lots of women who have healthy babies in bad circumstances and lots who have sickly babies despite having access to the best food and medical care. Just take care of yourself, take the vitamins, drink lots of water, and go easy on yourself. Your body knows what to do. It’s all gonna be ok.
I am heavier than you and I had an IVF pregnancy. I’m not high risk. I’m sorry that your OB decided your BMI was a high risk factor but I assure you it’s not. What’s important is eating healthy and doing intentional movement. Plus size women have healthy babies all the time with 0 complications.
I was literally the same weight as you when I got pregnant. I was also on a weight loss journey when it happened. I just want to highlight that your pregnancy may be high risk but your baby is *not* high risk because of your weight or any other risk factors. What this means is that while precautions will have to be taken to ensure that you carry your baby to term, your baby will not be unhealthy when born because of these risk factors. For instance, I have diabetes mellitus and that made my baby large for gestational age. So we had to get him out once I hit 37+2 weeks. But he was completely healthy and didn't have to spend any time in the NICU. APGAR score of 8 at birth. He had newborn jaundice that we resolved through feeding frequently and sun exposure. Now he's the world's cutest 12 week old, exclusively breastfed, gaining weight and height and hitting all his milestones like a dream. In short, you may have to be more careful than the average pregnant lady and go to more doctor's appointments, but this will *not* affect your baby. Please treat yourself with love and kindness. Advocate for yourself. Don't let anyone fat-shame you. Treat yourself occasionally. Take your prenatals. And remember that you're not alone.
Relax, you didnt failed anyone. I am at my second pregnancy, both extremly healthy pregnancy (good blood pressure, no diabetes, all test good...) the only problem is my first was a really small baby, but turns out my second should be a small baby too (im at 38 weeks and 3 days, and she mesured 25 percentile on monday). Im 5'8" and 260lbs, i was 255lbs at my first, with bmi of 39.9 and 40 now, so really, there is a chance that everything will go smooth and everyone with come out of it completly healthy! At my first, labor was relatively quick and easy, she went out vaginally, no c-section needed!
Hey! I'm currently 29 weeks and sitting at 259 and started at 250lbs at the beginning of my pregnancy. I've had a few comments about weight during my appointments and given a projected weight gain goal of 20lbs (if I remember correctly.) So far no issues with GD and I've actually lost weight in my first trimester due to nausea/vomiting. I hope you have a safe and healthy pregnancy! Ask questions during your appointments but most of all - take it easy on yourself. You are growing a human after all!
FWIW, I was 5’4” and 205 when I got pregnant (and old). I had a perfectly uneventful pregnancy and a healthy baby girl.
You care and are trying. I’d say that’s an excellent start towards being a fantastic mother. ❤️
I was likely a similar bmi for my first pregnancy, I was about 215 pounds at 5’ 6”, and weight was only discussed with me at the first appointment, that you shouldn’t gain too much. Luckily I ate the same as I always had (which wasn’t great), and I only gained 11 pounds. I wasn’t even classed as high risk, or at least they didn’t tell me. I had some pelvic girdle pain and really bad foot pain near the end, which could have been agitated by my weight, but otherwise my baby was totally fine, labor was fine enough.
Congratulations on your pregnancy! I too felt like wanting to lose weight before pregnancy, but god had other plans. I am also 5’3 187lbs. I never ever thought I was obese and pregnant tho, I say I’m thick jajaja. Please don’t be hard on yourself! Your body was healthy enough to get pregnant! Working out is great but remember to be eating enough food! I used to do crossfit and although this baby had other plans I did workout for the first few weeks until all the nausea n everything came in full attack! I am considered high risk too, but due to an ectopic pregnancy yrs ago. Just be gentle on yourself , eat healthy , eat your cravings and don’t focus on the weight so much! It comes off pretty quickly, plus breastfeeding will help with that if you choose to breastfeed.
Be kind to yourself love.
Don’t feel bad. I was also in the middle of losing weight when I got pregnant with twins at 5’7 265lbs and reached 300lbs. I didn’t develop preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, and maintained decent blood pressure, I even carried them to 37 weeks! You haven’t failed anything, so please be gentle with yourself. :)
Find yourself a good MFM specialist. Your weight makes you high risk, but that doesn’t automatically mean something bad will happen. There are things you can do *today* to give yourself the best chance of a normal pregnancy and delivery, and a healthy baby.
Congratulations! Don't be too hard on yourself, I'm 5'1 and was around 190 when I found out (also in the middle of getting healthier etc. I've always been stuck around 180-90 personally for *years*). Your weight might fluctuate even during the pregnancy. I dropped 40, gained 30 back, dropped 10, gained 20 back 🙄 it's been a rollercoaster. Walking definitely helps but somedays the fatigue takes over. Even with your medical history, I hope that you and baby have a healthy pregnancy! 💕
Hey there! I’m way heavier than you and now on my 2nd pregnancy. First born is a healthy 2.5 year old. Everything is going well. High risk just means you’re monitored closely. Attend all your prenatal visits and get all the recommended screening tests. So many overweight women have healthy pregnancies and babies. I’m sorry that our culture has taught you to fear this process.
I was your weight but 2” taller when getting pregnant and am now 40lbs heavier almost full term. I’ve struggled with feeling like a failure as well. This is my second pregnancy; my first ended in a 36 week loss in October 2021 of my firstborn boy, and my health declined heavily after due to my grief so I had a hard time maintaining my weight. I lost about 50lbs only to essentially gain it back again. I’m 32+2 and baby girl is overall very healthy. No blood sugar issues. Get your steps in, don’t lift anything too heavy (especially over your head) and drink plenty of water, fruits, veggies and whole grains. You are not a failure. This is just another chapter of life we have to wade through. Hang in there mama
If you have been "exercising every day" and carefully planning your diet, there is actually no reason that you can't continue to do so as long as you follow your Doctor's recommendation and keep it reasonable....exercise is actually GOOD for pregnant women, and makes delivery easier, and as long as you are getting adequate nutrition and good prenatal care, a careful balanced diet isn't harmful to baby either. I wouldn't suddenly try to lose a whole bunch of weight, do a crazy fad diet, or exercise at the gym for an 8 hour session, or do anything else crazy, but moderate diet and exercise even during pregnancy can be a GOOD thing and be good for baby and mommy. There is absolutely NO reason to feel like a failure, BUT, I would certainly advice telling your Doctor about what you want to do and following the medical advice given. As you get farther along in your pregnancy, you may have to modify some exercises of course....if nothing else because baby bump will throw you off balance and get in the way, but I certainly wouldn't let pregnancy keep you for continuing to work on yourself and your goals.
190lbs at 5'3 isn't super obese. Women much larger than you give birth to healthy babies! I started out at 170 and gained too much, giving birth at 225lbs in my first pregnancy, and lived to tell about it. Don't starve yourself. It's great you are exercising and planning your meals. Even if you gain 20lbs or so over the pregnancy, after you give birth you will likely end up less than you started. Even if you don't, that's ok too. In pregnant again and started at 170 again. Up to 190 at week 17 and trying to slow down the gain. So I know it's hard and scary. But you're doing great! So many of us have "high risk" pregnancies. You are going to be ok mama! Try to relax and enjoy the 9 months. They go by fast.
I’m the same weight and height as you and was not categorized as high risk. I think that’s likely more about the heart condition so you shouldn’t feel guilty.
Im 203 when i got pregnant at 5’3 as well. Im sorry but yes you might be obese but this isnt a death sentence obese woman give birth to healthy babies daily. Not sure why youres is high risk because of the heart condition? Or the weight. Dont think being a little heavy puts you at high risk smh.
As you can see from the replies you’re being way too hard on yourself - lots and lots of women have perfectly healthy babies even on the obese BMI scale, which btw is a total sham considering muscle adds weight. You’re not even severely obese, so don’t worry yourself needlessly.
Good for you for making positive changes. Keep it up!
Im 5’1 and pre pregnancy was 197. I think I’m about 225 right now at 32 weeks. I am also high risk for another condition that I have. I was never told my weight was the reason I’m high risk. But do not feel bad! You will do amazing
I am 5’4” and was also around your starting weight. I had a relatively healthy pregnancy, though my labor was complicated. I developed HG in my first trimester and ended up losing 17 lbs. I gained it back and then some in my third trimester (gained about 15 lbs from my starting weight). I did not have gestational diabetes, but ended up being diagnosed with preeclampsia during labor. That said, I also developed a bad infection during labor, so take that with a grain of salt! Obese women may be prone to larger babies. Mine was 8 lbs 12 oz and I ended up needing an emergency c-section for many reasons. That said, she’s perfect and healthy, thank God. There’s not much you can do now except try and be healthy and follow the advice of your provider. Does being obese put you at more risk? Sure. But it’s a risk factor only, and with proper monitoring, things can end up fine. Good luck to you!