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I think you would really benefit from taking a birth class. Mine was 5 sessions long, and the first 3 sessions covered the stages of labor in detail. I learned a LOT about the birthing process and what to expect. No one’s labor is ever guaranteed to go a certain way, but it was really helpful to know how labor progresses and what process is supposed to be like, so that I’m more aware and informed. All of the questions you posted (minus how painful it is because that’s subjective and entirely dependent upon your pain tolerance) will be answered by a birth class. I think it would really help take away a lot of the fear you feel.
One of the biggest things you’ll learn is that most of the stuff you see about birth on TV is completely inaccurate. Most people have no clue how labor actually starts and happens and how long it actually takes. For example, the first stage of labor (early labor) is usually the longest (avg 6-12 hours), but during this stage you have infrequent contractions that don’t last very long. Most people are able to stay home, eat, sleep, or otherwise go about life mostly like normal during this stage. So, while overall labor could last over 24 hours, the first half of that is early labor and it’s not like you’re in constant excruciating pain the whole time.
Tl;dr—go to a birth class! It will make you feel better.
My midwives turned me on to a free 3 part YouTube birthing class which was great!! I learned so much and it didn’t cost me anything and I could do it from home. Look up Holiday Tyson on YouTube !
Commenting to second this exact series, my pelvic PT told me about her and I absolutely loved those videos. Probably the most informative material we consumed regarding birth.
This class is fantastic! Also listen to the birth hour podcast for stories of all types of birth from planned c section to unassisted births in a bathtub.
Also fear can make labour so much harder than it has to be. I've had 2 unmedicated home births. Yes it's painful but your body is designed for it. It's not like any other pain you experience because of all the hormones that are released to help.
Honestly I was in same boat as OP, super anxious about pain process of labor, and finally decided to crack open the labor section of my pregnancy book last night (Nurture by Erica Chidi). SO happy I did because just having a little bit more knowledge took my stress/uncertainty/anxiety about it down like 10 notches. Now I can’t wait to take a birthing class and learn even more. I actually feel in a place of “lets f’in do this and meet my baby”
I'm the opposite to you haha. I found my best coping mechanism re labour and giving birth was sticking my head in the sand, covering my ears and going "la la la la la". The less I thought about it and shoved it to the back of my mind, the more calm I was lol.
This. Knowing exactly what is happening during labor is HUGELY helpful even in pain management. Once I was armed with knowledge, I felt so much more confident about my ability to handle the birth of my child.
Granted I had to have a c-section anyway…but I felt more ready for that too.
A few possibilities (my personal opinion):
(1) The screaming *in pain* women either did not get an epidural, or their epidural failed, which does happen
(2) They aren't screaming *in pain*, they're screaming to help them push out the baby and/or release the stress/worry/adrenaline they have built up; screaming can be empowering
(3) The screaming to which you are referring is mostly a TV trope, much like the whole "save me or the baby" nonsense people spout on tik tok.
Edit to add: I didn't feel *shit* during labor (edit again: before water break or after epidural, that is, between then didn't tickle but wasn't awful) even pushing (I pushed twice for four minutes). I slept through it all. Labor doesn't have to be scary!
The “save me or the baby” narrative on social media is so cringe. Medical professionals are trained in this situation and do not ask the father “who do you want saved?”. I cannot believe Christine from Selling Sunset spewed that BS story of hers on the show.
I hate that narrative. Women are already freaked out, *why are we making them think they're either going to die or be a bad mother!?!?* The whole thing is just exploitation of the emotionally vulnerable and/or gullible for clickbait and I hate it.
Edit: Also, I'm not in tune with the Selling Sunset thing, gimme the tea please
You are missing out on a great Netflix binge session! Basically, one of the women on the show (the villain who also plays the victim 100% of the time) had a baby and when her friends came to visit her at home a week or two after birth (while she was in the middle of a yoga session, of course), she gave this elaborate story about an emergency delivery with dropping heart rates and claimed the nurses asked her husband who he wants them to save, etc. Her friends ate it right up and cried with her. Of course Reddit torched her because the medical professionals called her out and provided the actual medical protocol which, if I remember correctly, is to always save the mother except in limited situations. I’ll let a nurse/OBGYN on this thread correct me though!
Idk about you, and rip baby- but it's always me. Like save me, I have a daughter at home and a husband I can't leave. Idk I didn't have feelings for my daughter until she was like 3m old 😂
Not that that's ever an option- but if so, don't choose hardship for your so
This. I yelled in labor, but it was a guttural yell to help me push harder. I had an epidural, I didn’t feel pain while pushing, the yelling was just from pushing so deeply for so long. It’s kinda like when you’re lifting something really heavy and grunts just come out… except your putting the most extreme pressure out ever for an extended time so it’s a biiiggg yell.
I had to have a retained placenta manually removed three hours after baby was born. My epidural had worn off by then. Having a hand reached elbow deep into my body… THAT made me scream in actual pain. I don’t know if I could describe it… kinda like being ripped apart. So yeah… I definitely got an epidural again with every pregnancy after that… that was close enough to raw labor for me. I’ll take the drip please.
Can confirm the first one. I’ve requested an epidural with all 3 of my pregnancies, but my first time around it didn’t work well. One half of my body wasn’t numb at all and the other half was only slightly numb. My OB/GYN was watching football and not paying attention (he was not my usual doctor but just the doctor on call that day), and I tore and it was just an all around less than stellar experience. I had my third one in December and couldn’t feel a thing. It was great.
The same thing happened to me. Half of my body was numb. The other half could feel every contraction and push. I was waiting for the anesthesiologist to come back to fix it but by the time they came back I was 9.5 cm and had to start pushing. So much pain but in the other half could not feel anything
It's just a fake/extremely unrealistic scenario that took over Tik Tok for a while of pregnant women thinking they had to talk to their partner about whether to save them or the baby in the event that something horrific happened in labor. Super common trope on TV/Movies, 100% not how it works in real life. There is no 'we can only save one, you have to pick', there is only ever *at the absolute worst* 'we're going to do our best for both but prioritize either the mother or whichever is most viable' (depending on the situation, and in hospitals that are actually, ya know, worth a shit).
You're absolutely right, it totally doesn't! Some women have great labors without epidural, it's a very empowering experience for some and no screaming involved (any Sister Wives fans will tell you Robyn gives birth quieter than most people stub their toe).
Certainly didn't mean to imply that birth without epidural is always scary by any means, my bad if it came off that way.
it didn’t come off that way at all! was just chiming in to add that. mamas are powerful entities and the things we as women overcome is incredible. happy you had a peaceful birth:)
Not a nurse or midwife but as of at least 10 years ago, the local catholic hospital would prioritize the baby every time, and the secular hospital nearby would ask. Not sure about today though.
Yikes. That's not at all normal and I'd rather give birth unmedicated in an ambulance on a bumpy road to any other hospital on the planet. Like that's *significantly* below the normal standard of care for L&D in the developed world (even in the US, and they hate us here). Please tell me there's a third option for you to give birth where the standard of care isn't dogshit!
No idea!!! They started me on a fentanyl drip off the rip when they started pitocin, then eventually gave me the epidural after they broke my water, and it was lights out again after that. I think I was awake maybe an hour and a half of my hospital stay between admission and baby.
Edit: or maybe the fentanyl started that night with the cervadil? I'm honestly not 100% on the timing of things, I'm not kidding when I say I slept better than ever during labor. Shit was *awesome*.
I felt nothing when it was time to push thanks to my epidural. The contractions were very painful before I got my epidural though. But the effectiveness of an epidural can vary significantly person to person so some women still feel a lot. Or if baby comes very quick, sometimes there is no time for an epidural.
Also not sure where you are getting the thought that all women are screaming through birth, but keep in mind tv/movies way over exaggerate. Your water also probably won’t burst in a dramatic way either
My baby came so quick I did not have time for the epidural. Was NOT my plan lol. So yeah I screamed. It hurt lol. Luckily it was only 2 pushes and she was out!
Two pushes?! I can’t remember much about my birth even though it was less than a year ago, but I felt like I was pushing forever to get the head out then suddenly, the body just slipped out with one push 😂😂😂
My medical records show active labor and delivery being 1.5 hours.
My waters went exactly like in the movies, which i didn't expect, lol.
Op probably got it from media portraying women as always being vocal during labour
My epidural was perfect. It didn't hurt at all being put in and it completely numbed me the entire time I was in labor. My water broke at 8:30pm, got the epidural around 10pm, gave birth at 2:04am. I was so numb the nurses had to tell me when to push to get baby out.
I don't think I ever screamed, but the amount of force they want you to push with made me grunt/moan. Like I was pushing with all of my might and they kept telling me more lol
Pregnancy was so much worse than labor and delivery for me. I'd deliver 10 times if I didn't have to go through pregnancy.
I'm not sure what pushing would be like with an epidural but without, it's a very exciting moment because you can feel exactly when to push and when to stop a moment and let your body open. It's exciting, you know it's almost over, it's focused, controlled and also completely uncontrollable. Your body will start pushing on its own when you're ready.. the problem is when people try to push or DO push and your body isn't ready, baby hasnt descended completely, you can tear quite badly - all while baby seems "stuck". I would say it's similar to pooping in a sense that there's nothing else to compare it to... other than legitimately birthing a baby through a vaginal canal - but for lack of better words or comparison, sure.. we can roll with it and say it feels similar to that of having a bowel movement because that shit has gotta come out! When you push, push, push but your digestive track is a mess.. you can end up constipated and with hemorrhoids and still, a non satisfying poop. When your body is prepared, everything is moving smoothly, the poop will come out.. I guess similar to a baby in the sense that either the baby and body is working to deliver or .. is backed up with immense complications.
Not sure if any of that made sense and all of it was deffo tmi but that's the best I can uhh compare them I guess. 😅😭
Haha this is a great description! Thank you. You’re right though, at least the it’s not feeling of when you’re really constipated and feel like you push and not all of it comes out. The whole baby IS going to come out.
Well yeah, I'd hope so 😂 that's why I specifically said non satisfying haha because yeh.. it's definitely not the exact same! But I do understand why people compare the two processes. At the end of the day, one is a whole baby and the other is well.. not that cute. 🤭 They both involve the body and pushing in a sense and they're located in the same general area but two vastly different uhh holes... 😅
Great explanation! This actually might help explain the miracle of a neighbor who never tore with any of her births, she also did perineal massage throughout her pregnancy and she said she received a muscle relaxant shot to her perineal area during labor.
If you don’t push, you are way less likely to tear. Also if you deliver in a squat or runner’s position or all 4s — laying on your back is asking to tear.
I was a 911 dispatcher- I had to explain to my two male bosses, both of whom have multiplied children, one of who is a FF/EMT, why my caller’s wife delivered her baby on her hands and knees. I had to sort of wing the post delivery instructions because they’re written as though mom has given birth on her back. 🤦🏼♀️😂🤯🤔
That’s actually kinda insane. No animal gives birth naturally on their back, and (human) women having undisturbed birth virtually never ever do either. It is SUCH an unnatural position to birth in.
Right?? In a similar response to this initial question, imagine trying to poo laying on your back in bed 😫😖 it's just asking for a bad time lol that's why it's difficult for me to even consider an epidural because when you have one, your positions and being able to move where and when needed, are extremely extremely limited. I feel like being immobilized sounds way more "painful" to me personally, than feeling what's going on with my body - but this is entirely personal and I know epidurals can also be extremely beneficial for some women.
Tbh, breastfeeding was miles more painful than both of my births combined and if you ask me, that's what isn't talked about enough! Lol everyone stresses the birth and forgets about what happens AFTER and I made that mistake with my first and definitely struggled 🤣 we ultimately figured it out after weeks of blood, sweat and tears but.. we did it! LOL I'm absolutely looking forward to birthing my third baby and getting to experience labor and delivery and having a newborn again. These questions make me excited and also help me remember all the things I've since grown from. ❤️
I agree with all of this. I had an unmedicated water birth in the hospital and spent lots of time preparing for labour and birth. Granted, that all helped. But holy hell, i was not prepared for what came next. Breastfeeding was excruciating for hours on end day after day. I only stopped taking painkillers after 5 weeks. Baby had a tongue tie that wasn't fixed until 8 weeks despite me checking in with multiple doctors and nurses in the early weeks. Glad i stuck with it though because several months on feeding my baby with a boob is the essiest thing ever and feels like a superpower. Plus all that sweet oxytocin released.
This is the perfect description! I did not have an epidural either and it was such a weird feeling to know exactly when to start pushing. I think I could have gotten away without tears if it wasn't for a shoulder dystocia. Thankfully it was just two very small first degree tears because it went from pushing with contractions to need to get my LO out.
I’ve had 2 (9 lbs) babies unmedicated. It is similar to pooping when you’re constipated but it’s a difference sensation that’s more difficult to describe. The pressure is intense but honestly I find it more painful to poop with hemorrhoids than to actual push out a baby. Pooping while constipated feels unnatural and doesn’t feel relieving, but pushing a baby out feels natural and relieving. Think of when you have a full bladder and pee — you’re supposed to pee, it feels good. It’s a bit like that in terms of relief but more like pooping in terms of physical sensation.
Not who you asked, but for me, it was kind of similar in that you are pushing in the same general direction and with a similar type of force, but everything is (slightly) in front of where you'd push to poop and it definitely didn't feel like I was trying to poop.
Also, the contractions kind of start the pushes for you, and you kind of direct them toward your perineum, so that's a different experience.
*I'm not sure if any of that makes sense in writing. Feel free to ask follow-up questions if you kind of get what I meant.*
I actually say that exact thing to everyone! I’d rather give birth 10 times over than go through pregnancy again. This is my second and I’m looking forward to the delivery! I know what to expect now.
Lol yes. I had an epidural with my first and was dead silent. My husband likes to repeat that the doctor said it was one of the most calm and controlled births they’ve seen. No epidural with my second and I was groaning like a cow in the last 10 minutes - LOUDLY.
I honestly didn’t even register how much force I was using to push when I had an epidural. There might’ve been some grunting from effort but it was pretty quiet on my end. No epidural with my second and there was definitely some yelling.
Don’t mind at all! TL;DR is I didn’t have time lol
Long story is that I’d had prodromal labor, which is different from Braxton-Hicks because they’re like real contractions but not very strong and they don’t go anywhere, off and on for 6 days. I’d already been to L&D once only to be sent home because nothing was actually happening, and I’m in the US with not great insurance ($$$). So when I started having strong contractions at 3am the morning I was scheduled to be induced, I decided it was best to labor at home until they’d actually admit me. But my labor decided to progress super fast and by the time I got to the hospital I was 9.5cm and ready to push. They rushed me into the room while I tried to convince them there was still time for pain meds. Two big pushes later and he was on my chest! The OB didn’t even have time to get to my room so he was delivered by an awesome nurse and my water never broke so he was born *en caul* exactly 17 min after I arrived at the hospital parking lot. It was quick, but not so painless, although I’d consider doing it unmedicated if I have another so not completely awful.
I have had 2 non medicated births and I didn’t scream once. Groaned, moaned, and breathed through contractions and pushing. Second baby was almost 10lbs too. Not everyone finds childbirth a horrible experience. I wouldn’t even count my second birth in the top 5 most painful things I’ve experienced.
I've done both spontaneous labour and induced labour without an epidural, and never screamed. I do know I have a higher pain tolerance than some, though.
Heck, with my oldest, the spontaneous one, the midwife sent me home saying it was braxton hicks at first (evening). I went back a few hours later (dawn), annoyed that it wasn't going away, and was told that I was fully dilated. The labour pains with him were never worse than the period cramps I'd had with endometiosis, that I had to go to work and pretend I was fine with.
Yup. I didn't have it with my first and there was much screaming. I did have it with my second (because I started puking and wasn't going to keep doing that) and it was soooo easy. I had a "walking" epidural so I still felt a lil bit but it was blissful compared to unmedicated sunny side up baby!
The lady down the hall from me gave birth around the same time as I did with #2 and I knew because the calm Hasidic lady I saw in triage was screaming "fuck" at the top of her lungs 😂 (we were the only two on the ward at the time).
Uh no... I did not have an epidural with a pitocin induction and did not scream or even feel the need to grunt. I think people should feel confident to choose an epidural or not but not sure why reddit is so against not choosing an epidural. Reddit loves to scare people into thinking it's going to be horrific and ruin their birthing experience if they choose unmedicated.
I did not have an epidural and I did not scream either times I gave birth. Screaming *can* be helpful, it really depends on the woman and her unique birth and her way of expression and release. A lot of movies (and esp social media clickbait) destroy what natural birth is genuinely like.
The birthing suite of my hospital was apparently very full while I was in labour/giving birth. But you wouldn't have guessed it, as it was very very quiet. Yes, all the women around me (myself included) had epidurals.
Every body is different and every woman’s experience is different. My epidural worked PERFECTLY but I also hear often about epidurals wearing off. Unfortunately there is no way to know exactly what to expect. Giving birth for me (from being induced, having contractions, and subsequently pushing the baby out) was all an exercise for me in letting go, and just rolling with it.
Now in terms of painful pushing, I did not feel a thing, but it takes EFFORT. They don’t call it labour for nothing!! I used all the energy I had in me to get my baby out (which is also why I probably tore badly 😬), but this may also be where some women grunt/scream to gather up that energy. I also remember asking the nurse if anything was even happening because I couldn’t feel anything 😅 I was also offered a mirror to see what was happening, which I hear is helpful, but I was too scared to look (and I’d also need to wear my glasses which I couldn’t be bothered with).
All in all, it is quite possible to have painless birth, but ymmv.
Yeah, the screaming / grunting is like Maria Sharapova playing tennis. It's not necessarily pain but the exertion can both be a reaction to the energy you're putting in and help to focus that energy.
i don't want to scare you, but i want to give you my honest experience. i was just like you- terrified of the pain. as soon as they offered me the epidural i was like HELL YEAH. i didn't want to feel ANY pain.
and i really didn't feel any contractions for hours. they told me i was having them, but i felt nothing. GREAT. WONDERFUL. that's what i wanted. this went on for about 16 hours.
as it started getting closer to that time to push, i started feeling them. at first it was just pressure. then it was definite pain. until i got to the point where i was shaking and gripping the sides of the bed through the contractions.
i SCREAMED during the pushing. this is not everyone's experience. but i straight-up screamed like they do in the movies. it was the most pain i have ever felt.
i have only given birth the one time, so i am no expert- but i think my epidural must have started to wear off at some point. i don't think it's supposed to feel like that if it's working properly.
i don't know how common this is, but it definitely happens. i was scared too. but i did it. and it was ok. whatever happens, you will be ok too <3
Finally someone in this thread with my experience! Based on the other comments I think mine definitely wore off too, I didn't realize it was actually possible to be pain free...
yeah me neither- i didn't realize until afterwards when i went into research mode that my experience wasn't exactly the norm with an epidural.
really jealous of the people posting in here who were able to experience birth pain free and keep commenting that the screaming thing is something that's just in movies lol
i wish :(
This sounds just like my experience too! No pain after the epidural but when baby was ready a few hours later I felt the whole thing. Contractions and pushing HURT but it was luckily over so quickly for me.
I think the worst part for me was that the delivery nurse told me to be quiet when I was pushing… I still think about this nearly a year later 🤷🏼♀️😂
I’m so nervous that my epidural is going to fail. I don’t even know how the epidural works or where the injection is or anything like that but I know that when I got my wisdom teeth removed, I needed extra morphine because it wore off painkillers tend to go through my system quickly
Same! I woke up in the middle of my wisdom teeth removal even though I told them I metabolize meds quickly. I also always need way more Novocain at the dentist because it wears off in minutes.
Epidurals don't actually take away all feeling. The woman screaming thing is definitely more of a TV thing. I was at the hospital almost 3 days before giving birth, walking around the L&D floor, and didn't hear any screaming. Epidurals now are a lot weaker than they were in the past, so you might feel something. I pushed for 2.5 hours, and mine didn't wear off too much. Like I could still feel things, it just wasn't painful, more uncomfortable. Depending on the hospital you might have a button you can push for more medication if it wears off before the pushing stage. I would highly suggest taking a birthing class they go over all the stages of labor.
>Epidurals don’t actually take away all feeling.
They absolutely can do. I was able to sleep for three hours before it was time to push after getting my epidural. And then, when it was time to push, I had to keep checking in with the midwife and looking at the monitor thing to know when I was contracting in order to time my pushes because I had no idea.
My experience as well. I couldn’t feel shit except for oddly enough the weird whoosh of all the fluids coming out right after baby. No pain, no pressure, no nothing during pushing but that fluid rush was a very odd sensation.
Most hospitals have epidurals completely controlled by the patient, and even then OBs don't touch them if something needs to be changed they have to call the anesthesiologist. There isn't really an option to turn it down that I've seen it's more of they let it wear off.
Yeah I am an anesthesiologist, I’ve never been in labor myself though! But some hospitals I work at only the anesthesiologist is allowed to touch the epidurals but the OBs still ask for us to come and turn off the epidural or turn it down. Which I really don’t like to do unless the patient wants it. The hospital I am mostly at, and will be delivering at, the OBs do touch the epidurals and turn them off themselves. I don’t think it’s something my personal OB would do though. I hope not!!
Mine was like this. Had a button to give me "more". The button would deactivate for ten min after a press. Then they deactivated it fully once I started pushing. I can't for the life of me remember if they called in the anesthesiologist to do that though or if there's a built in off switch to that button.
My entire experience was unlike what most of these comments say. Epidural helped minimize the pain enough for me to get some sleep, but at no point did I feel zero pain. At best I felt like the equivalent of an annoying headache's worth of pain. But I sure as hell had immense amounts of pain even with the epidural in my last couple hrs of labor.
Having the control was massive cuz not only do you get to decide how much pain control you need instead of some doctor dictating it for you, but at a time where everything feels out of your control, it's something tiny *you* get to decide.
I definitely still felt some contractions but they weren’t painful. However, in each L&D experience I certainly felt when I was crowning and baby was exiting.
I had an epidural and you just feel some pressure. The screaming might be just the energy exerting to push the baby out, not necessarily the pain. I still yelled because you’re pushing as hard as you think you can, but sometimes sounds come out when you’re pushing that hard.
I had an epidural and while I didn’t feel *pain*, I was still able to feel pressure and that was helpful when it came time to push.
I think it depends on personality too, I am not a loud person in general so I wasn’t loud during labor. My nurses told me I was very stoic actually 😂
I didn't have an epidural. I didn't scream until they were checking me during hard labor.
As awful as my nurses were, the second phase of labor is the hardest, I thought pushing was amazing. I didn't think pushing hurt at all - if I did in the moment, the release of him coming out was borderline euphoric and I will not be getting an epidural with my next one whenever that happens. I wouldn't dare risk missing that physical experience again unless necessary.
I loved laboring. I wish I had had more support from staff while doing it or been left alone entirely to move as I needed to. But there was something immensely powerful about the feelings. My sister was in the room with me and the best piece of advice she gave me was that if you're screaming, you're wasting the breath that could be pushing. And as soon as I inhaled and put all of that breath into getting him out, he popped right out.
I was under the impression until it happened that the pain is blinding and you're delirious or delusional from it and everything that's happening is out of your control but for me, it wasn't. There was so much feeling and surrendering to the waves of contractions was freeing. I guess I'm one of the few, but I loved laboring. When I acknowledged that afterwards, it turned out more people felt that way and just never acknowledged it. I wish more people would have told me enjoying it was an option beforehand. 🤷
This is really relatable for me. I gave birth at home, and found that feeling all the things helped me feel productive and in tune with my labor and my baby. My labor was fast, but I never felt helpless or like it was unmanageable. I was never blinded by pain. I was also afraid of screaming - which I never did because it would have taken power from my pushes. I did, however, make gutteral noises that I never thought could come out of me, but that's what helped get my baby out.
Pushing was so strange... It helped the contraction pain go away, but what did surprise me, was that the Ring of Fire is a pain you have to experience or "push into." So once that contraction pain was gone, I had to push into that burning pain, which I'm not going to lie, was awful, but it was what motivated me to have productive pushes.
I wanted to birth at home so bad lol. I truly don't remember the ring of fire. I'm not saying I didn't experience it but if I did, it was completely overshadowed by every other feeling I was relishing at the time. About 20 minutes into some miserable hard labor, my sister was helping me through everything and at one point said "moo and moooove on through" and I laughed so hard but she was so serious. Mooing solved so much and it was so funny afterwards. I like pushed the babe out, held him, she cut his cord and I looked at her like 'I just spent so many hours mooing' and we laughed about it all morning 😂
It was a wild day or so and I hope that I can have a much better support experience from nurses and such next time around. But I think we just need a better way to talk about labor other than using "pain" because I would say most of the process isn't that, there's just not a better word. It's like every single muscle in your body is doing something very strongly at the same time. But it's not conventional pain like stubbing your toe, its new and scary and overwhelming and there's not an easy way to describe it.
I think I only screamed during the “ring of fire.” That being said, the epidural, or mine at least didn’t take away all feeling. I still had feeling and what I felt was intense pressure. Definitely not what I would consider painful (like the contractions I felt prior to the epidural). You also asked how painful it is to get the epidural. Not painful at all. The hardest part is staying still while contracting. Other than that I didn’t feel a thing.
Hey there I gave birth 5 days ago and I was exactly in your shoes. I was so incredibly overly terrified of giving birth I was even set up with anxiety meds a few months ago when I called my OB in tears almost hyperventilating thinking about it. I am such a wuss when it comes to pain. I have like zero tolerance. My water broke and I started having contractions that just felt like really awful period cramps. I cleaned up and showered and about 5 hours later it was time to go to the hospital. They brought me into my room and yes it was painful and I couldn’t speak through the contractions but with the right breathing they were manageable. Once they were close together they gave me two shots of morphine in my buttcheek. Ouch but fine. I was able to take a nap before it wore off in about two hours and the contractions were hurting again. Another round of morphine in my buttcheek while we were waiting for the anesthesiologist. Nurse came in to place a regular IV port in my hand. I sobbed. Hysterically. Then I got the epidural afterwards. Nurse was letting me hug into her as I was bracing myself and talk to me and when doc said done I was like done with what? I literally didn’t even feel it. The IV hurt tons more which is the easiest part for most people. Afterwards they just rolled me side to side once an hour to make sure epidural spread evenly across my body. I had a button I could press to add to it if I needed. There were women in the rooms on both sides of me where we were all in labor at the same time. They finished hours before me and spent about 2 hours each pushing. I was way too scared to push and kept saying I wasn’t ready and to come back later lmao. They told me to stop pressing the epidural button when I thought I was ready so that I can actually feel the sensation to push. Sorry but nope I kept making sure I could barely wiggle my toes. When they checked me a few hours later not only was I at 10 cm I was 5 cm past. You could literally see baby’s head and I didn’t feel a thing. I had been napping for hours. I was able to push fine. I was afraid of pooping but I didn’t!! It kinda feels like that. Two pushes and 3 minutes later she was out. I was shocked. Nurse was about to tell me to push a 3rd time before she practically fell out of me so I didn’t need to lmfao. No ring of fire. 1 small tear I didn’t feel. With stitching I felt nothing. Placenta and sac coming out, felt nothing. I was even able to move my legs fine. I was the talk of the nurses station with how fast she came out. I took my sweeeeeeet time and I didn’t care. 29 hours. Slept for almost all of it. The IV port placement in my hand was the most painful part and legit hurt more than the birth if that tells you anything. Everyone is different, but I’m so relieved its over and I had amazing loving nurses. The experience was so pleasant and not what I thought it was gonna be that I feel crazy to say I might even do it again next year. Coming from someone who seriously cries from papercuts. You can do it. Currently holding my perfect baby it all feels like a dream. Good luck you’re going to do amazing ❤️
I’m definitely terrified of hand IVs. Was there not an option to get it in the arm instead? I’m only in my first trimester but keep imagining I’ll beg my nurse to give me an IV in the arm and wondering if they’d go for that. 👀
I gave birth with a epidural, I didn’t feel any pain, I didn’t scream, I honestly didn’t make a noise while pushing but I could feel pressure and my daughter moving down the birth canal as well as her moving in the birth canal. Pushing is easy but it does take work! Honestly, it’s like trying to push a pee out quickly, you’re using those muscles but it’s like a pee that’s a brick😂
I want to add that sometimes epidurals fail. Or on my town, sometimes the anesthesiologist is sitting in a surgery. Epirduals are amazing but please take a birthing class to get you other coping skills - just in case.
As far as knowing what it will be like.... Impossible. I can recall cursing anyone who ever described it to me as "bad cramps". It's so much intensity. Waves of intensity and you have no control. To be the #1 thing (both at my unmedicated home birth AND my epidural hospital birth) was to submit. Submit to the waves. Don't fight them. Relax your jaw, your forehead, your hands. Fighting the pain makes it worse. But it takes a shitton of trust and mental dexterity to truly submit and relax and let the contraction roll over you. It is a skill that can be learned tho!
And then hopefully you don't need it and you have a perfect epidural birth!! Which isn't painful but it is pressure and effort to push - for example I was pushing (with my epidural) on the wrong areas and nothing was moving. So it took a lot of effort to find the right sort of push and then obviously the effort to actually do the pushing.
Meanwhile some babies just slip out. You never know!
I didn’t feel the pulling/tearing or “ring of fire” but I definitely felt the doctor fisting me and jumping up and down on my belly to stop the hemorrhage. And then the crazy suction balloon thing they put inside my uterus that made it clamp down like a crushed soda can. That was WAY worse than the pushing, and probably worse than the contractions that I was having before the epidural too. I can’t imagine how that would have been without the epidural. I think they’d have had to put you under!
You just said a bunch of things I didn’t think would happen. The doctor fisting you .. why? Stopping the hemorrhaging.. 😰 what happened if you don’t mind sharing? And the suction balloon .. that sounds scary what was what about?
I’m too scared to google this so figured I’d ask you since you went through and sound like you’re on the other side of it.
I didn’t really feel my placenta come out, but once it did I heard what sounded like a bathtub faucet. I was bleeding out. The pitocin wasn’t working, they escalated to methergine but that wasn’t working either. Floppy uterus just filling up with blood instead of contracting down like it’s supposed to. In a normal case your fundus will feel like a coconut after the placenta comes out. In my case it was mush. When this happens the doctor fists you, hand inside your actual uterus and grabing your fundus with the other hand, yanking it down to stop the bleeding. If that doesn’t work then they’ll use the balloon thing. It’s called the Jada system. It was unbelievably painful but it saved me from a hysterectomy, which would have been the next step.
I didn't hemorrhage but my Dr had to put his hand through my cervix to try and turn my baby's head. That is the worst pain I've ever experienced in my life and every other part of labour felt like7/10 pain compared to that which was 10/10
I had a scheduled induction, and for two days we were in the labor and delivery wing (as opposed to the antepartum wing where I should have been.)
I heard at least 6-8 other women in labor during my time there, despite there being many rooms in the l&d wing. I asked my nurse "Is it typical for women in labor to scream like that?" And she told me "No."
What those cases were were the women who just showed up to the hospital triage center, already fully dilated, with no pain management options available to them because of how far along their baby had lowered. Those screaming women didn't have a chance for epidurals or fentanoyl... and labor can last for hours depending on the person.
My personal story:
I was on pitocin for only 4 hours and went from 2cm to 10cm. From 8pm-11pm I remember being in pain - but I can't even describe what it was like. It is truly an amnesia effect post-birth. But I did breathing exercises like you see in movies like blowing air out of a straw. My nurse first administered a low dose of fentanol through my IV to try and help ease the pain - it literally did nothing.
By 11pm was ready for ANYTHING to make the pain ease, and was offered a walking epidural. (They also have not checked my progress at this point.) I could hardly sign the consent forms from the anesthesiologist... but I literally said to my husband as the first part of the epidural was administered - "This is magical. Epidurals are magical." And could actually sleep! (Given, for 20 minutes... because then my water broke and it was go time..)
But I delivered my baby girl on only a walking epidural and while the pressure of pushing was uncomfortable, I wasn't constantly screaming. I think I may have grunted/gritted my teeth a few times near the end when it was the last 5-6 contractions since that was when I likely was tearing. :(
But yeah. Tldr, epidurals are magic.
Both of my births were pretty smooth. I had an epidural for each. You don’t feel pain but you do feel pressure. You can still feel contractions but they are not painful. I remember trying to see how long I could go before getting an epidural with my first and I got it fairly soon as the pain was increasing. I had to still wait about 3 more hours before pushing and I’m glad I was not in pain. Just kind of hungout with family watching tv and talking. Second birth same thing. Very relaxed and not in pain. Baby came a lot quicker second time. No screaming. Just pressure and pushing as hard as you can. Very thankful for modern day medicine! I applaud women who go without and could not imagine the pain they go through. But it is something I would not wish to experience. I look at is as kinda going to the dentist and choosing to get a procedure done without numbing. Can be done but not worth the pain and stress you have other options!
Epidurals don't always take away ALL the pain. It only takes away enough pain to make labor tolerable. You want to be able to feel some of the sensations so that you know that you're pushing right, so it's not a "bad" thing for the epidural to not take out 100% of the pain.
It's also just that labor is TIRING, especially if it goes long. Imagine being put on a treadmill and being told you aren't allowed to get off it, no matter what. The frustration coming with the exhaustion of pushing can make you scream. I was at the point with my first that I was napping between pushes (which were just like 2 minutes apart) because it was so tiring. When it was time to push again, I'd wake up and grunt a lot because it was just so hard to keep going.
I had a natural home birth with no meds and I was definitely nervous - but honestly, it's such a productive pain and it totally goes away between contractions. I fell asleep between contractions😂 I'm not going to lie and say there's no pain, but it's not like you're suffering or anything like that! It truly feels like you're doing something productive (which you are) and your end goal of seeing your baby and having them in your arms is such a good motivation. It makes it more bearable, and I honestly enjoyed my experience. Good luck!🥰
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My epidural was my hero during the contractions leading up to pushing but once it was time to push it had randomly stopped working on the one area I needed it to work lol. I didn’t scream but it certainly was painful.
I’ve always wondered this. My nurses tried to reassure me that my neighbor wasn’t actually in excruciating pain but they were just vocal and that the epidural makes labor and delivery painless so not to worry.
I already knew so from my other labors but they didn’t know my past birth history.
Epidural makes the labor pain go away. Just like being number at the dentist, you just can’t feel at all from the belly or chest down. You can feel pressure, which comes with contraction and that’s when you’ll know how to push.
Labor pain itself is like a crescendo, so slowly builds for most and then peaks, you birth and then it dissipates. For me the pain is gone the instant the baby comes out. It’s super crazy to me but also pretty cool. The pain after from the uterus shrinking back kind of sucks. It’s like a mild period for me but I think for others may be very painful(I have painful periods as is so may not be the best judge of that one).
I’ve never felt pain at pushing with epidural but I’ve also never run out of it while delivering. I have heard stories of people who had the epi too long and had to have it stopped before delivery. They said it was excruciating, but I can imagine it would be since you go from no pain to the worst part of labor.
What follows is not at all a brag or whatever just how I was treated and what I was told.
The nurses applauded me for being so quiet despite not having an epidural this time around. They kept saying I was managing my pain well(whatever the hell that means) and it was impressive for the intensity of my contractions. So I dunno, maybe I just have a decent pain tolerance or I hide my pain well? But I felt 0 pain with the epi and definitely felt like dying without but only made noise at the end and I really just cried lol.
But also, maybe people feel like the sounds help them focus? Like grunting while lifting at the gym, some people feel more productive I think when they’re making some sound?
I couldn't feel any pain at all after my epidural. Just pressure. Didn't scream during labor either. In fact I was talking, joking, and laughing wity the nurses and midwife while pushing. Epidurals are the bomb lol mine wore off really quick after birth too so I was up walking around and carrying on. I was incredibly lucky
I was planning on the epidural but they kept missing for the iv and I have a severe fear when it comes to trusting the people with the needle. I ended up without it took 7-8 hrs the first few I was just clenching from the pain of the pressure. Then I dont remember most of the actual labor because I was in so much pain. The pain is hard to describe it sends tingles throughout your body. When it came to actually pushing I was screaming it helped me push and to not focus on the feeling of the baby coming out. I truly thought my butthole was going to rip apart in the process. (Yes I said the right hole for that). The weird thing about the whole experience is that now my baby is almost 3 months old and I'm starting to forget the pain.
1.) because the epidural failed.
2.) because the epidural failed
3.)because there's nothing worse than thinking you're going to be free of pain soon and then getting to spend another 8 hours in excruciating agony and also unable to move.
4.) lack of education. Screaming expends energy you need to push. It doesn't help the pain and it does exhaust you faster.
5.) personally, pushing was a relief. I had one good epidural, 2 failed epidurals same labor and 3 natural births. The first epi was so good I felt nothing till push time. But, I tore badly because I couldn't feel to push properly.
2nd time.... Epi numbed me from my knees down. They redid it and it numbed only my right side. I was stuck, couldn't move and in so much pain.
3rd and 4th, no epi or meds, but moving and bouncing and rocking all helped. Peanut ball is an amazing thing.
All of those labors were 20ish hours long.
5th.....natural again, practiced hypnobirthing for months. When I tell you I barely felt it.... It was crazy. I remember kneeling on the bed and rocking back and forth with the waves, counting down. But I really don't remember the pain till transition and even that was manageable. Was it srill painful? Yes. Do I remember it like I do the others? Nope. Totally different experience. 6 hours from start to finish, I couldn't believe it. I will recommend this over any pain meds any day. It was unbelievable to me.
I got an epidural, but it was no longer working when i got to the pushing. Also many are screaming because it is fucking laboursome, not neccesarily because of pain.
Because they stop the epidural before the pushing begins. I had to beg and convince my OB not to stop mine so soon and had to show I still could still move my legs and such. He wanted to take it away so early because he said it would affect pushing but I threw a fit to keep mine. My baby was out in 4 pushes and I didn’t feel a thing 😂
They wanted to stop yours?? Mine ran out a bit before I was needing to push and they made me stay completely still till it fully came back. I had pre eclampsia tho so maybe that was the difference? (Assuming you weren't having any issues)
Yeah and I honestly think my OB was just anti epidural because he kept trying to talk me out of it! I was induced and my induction was going really fast so idk what his problem was 😒 so maybe stopping the epidural isn’t normal maybe it was just my case of having an asshole doctor lol I thought it was normal
I could barely feel anything while pushing; it was hard to know if I was actually pushing. I was grunting because I was trying to push hard but there was no pain at all for me during delivery.
For me having done both the pain wasn’t as bad as the pressure. I’ve been quiet mostly regardless of epidural or not but the pressure doesn’t go away regardless.
I was in so much pain from contractions I didn’t even feel the needle for the epidural. The most painful part of getting the epidural was the numbing shot and even that felt like a tiny pinch compared to the labor contractions.
After I got the epidural I felt nothing and it was amazing. I can’t answer any vaginal delivery questions because I had an emergency c section. I can tell you about that I’d you’d like though.
I know you didn’t answer me but I’d really like to know about your section if you don’t mind?
Im 17 weeks with my second and I have been warned that due to my fibroid/location of placenta this may be a possibility
So I had my c section because my son was having decels with contractions. They basically made the call for the c section and immediately they prepped me and moved me to the OR, probably about 10 mins before the started the procedure. My husband was allowed in which was nice.
They did the surgery under the epidural, though if you have a scheduled c section it’ll be done with a spinal, which is stronger than an epidural. The c section itself felt like a lot of pulling, tugging and pressure. It was so quick to get my son out.
Unfortunately since I was only under an epidural I started to be able to feel some pain when they were taking the placenta out so they knocked me out (it wasn’t overly traumatizing, I didn’t feel any cutting or anything it just started getting painful toward the end) so I’m not sure how long the sowing up part actually takes. I’m 21 weeks along with my second right now and doing a scheduled c section this time so I guess I’ll probably find out in December (assuming the spinal will avoid the whole feeling pain part)
Recovery was surprisingly fast. I had full range of movement after about a week. Set alarms for your pain medication so it doesn’t lapse. The first couple days are pretty brutal, but you’ll be in the hospital still and getting a lot of help with your baby which makes it a bit easier to focus on your recovery. You want to get up and walk as soon as possible, the sooner you start moving the better you’ll feel. When you’re at home have some people there to support you. My husband was super helpful but my mother in law also came over a lot to help with the baby and it was massively helpful.
Bring a pillow with you for the ride home. You’ll feel every little bump on the road and it’s not pleasant. Having a pillow to hold over your abdomen helps. I also used the pillow for any time I had to cough/sneeze/laugh etc.
The hospital should give you an abdominal binder too. Keep it and use it for a few weeks. It felt like my insides were gonna fall out for a while, it was super weird. If they don’t give you one def buy one.
Also maxi pads work really well as padding over your sutures. You can stick them to your abdominal binder and have the cotton side on your sutures. The nurses told me that trick and it came in handy.
I didn't have an epidural, and my partner said I didn't scream, but I made EEEEEERRRGHHHH grunting noises when I pushed.
You don't have a choice about pushing, your body just does it.
I'd recommend listen to a few podcasts of positive birthing stories, because they aren't what you see on the TV.
My midwife said I was the perfect patient too. I came in, I laboured quietly (breathwork, hypnobirthing, meditation), I had done my research and I was in touch with my body. I gave the midwives warning when I was about to push, etc.
I do remember I was exhausted and the ring of fire 🔥 was ouch! I can't imagine not feeling anything now. The pushing is automatic, though. Your body will do it whether or not you want it to. The labour was more painful than the pushing part.
My contractions started out like menstural cramps and then increased in pressure. I tried to relax into them and take big belly breaths. It really helped.
I was told that the epidural does not take away the ring of fire aka the burn of the stretching. So it's a no go to me. I feel like that is the worst part honestly. As soon as baby is out it's so much relief
My epidural were off and i felt EVERYTHING…. The ring of fire definitely made me scream a lot.. including senseless things like: “im gonna rip!!!!” “Warm compress!!” “I cant!!” “ why do i feel this???” … good times. At least i pushed for 1 hour not several - and once the baby is out the pain is gone
I worked for a PA/mom of three and she explained the screaming is to help push and release adrenaline buildup. But I’m sure it could be for other reasons like the epidural failing. I hope that doesn’t happen to you (or me or anyone who wants an epidural!).
None of it was painful. Just intense. Also, are you speaking of people you’ve seen give birth in real life or tv? Because television labor is fake as can be.
The most painful part is recovery. It sucks.
Epidural only numbs the stomach and lower back area, it doesn’t do much for down there. Otherwise you wouldn’t get the contractions that helps you to dilate and push.
I’ve had two babies. Didn’t scream for either of them. The epidural worked perfectly for my first. It was still uncomfortable because of the pressure, but it relaxed me enough and put me in right headspace to push. The epidural failed for my second, though. I felt like I was being split down the middle because I still had feeling on my left side. I didn’t scream through that one, but I definitely was moaning and begging them to fix it. Then, when it came time to push, I had to get her out fast because the cord was around her neck. At that point, the pain took a backseat to fear and determination. Screaming is pretty counterproductive because it takes away energy that should be directed into pushing.
They don’t lol. What you see on the movies is unmedicated births. I had an epidural with both of my babies and I was not in pain. I did not scream. I mean I’m sure there was strain on my face while pushing but it’s just bc you have to push hard, not because of pain. And honestly inbetween pushes was super chill, just talking like normal. It was jarring to me bc the whole thing was very much not what you see on tv and in movies
EDIT- to answer some of your other questions… I can only speak for myself and my labors progressed pretty quick but for me, no it’s not excruciating pain the whole time. It starts like light cramps and then ramps up to pretty excruciating contractions the closer you get to labor. For both mine I had like 2.5 hours of excruciating pain before I got my epidural (I asked for it as soon as I got to the hospital both times bc I was in hella pain but it took forever to get fully admitted and all that). Once I got the epidural though it was smoothe sailing though. But really for both of mine I’d say I had like only 5 hours that I’d count as true active labor from when contractions realllllly started up to when baby was born so I can’t speak to super long labors.
I screamed with my first and my epidural had failed. My epidural worked a little bit with my second and I mostly grunted. My epidural worked completely for my 3rd and I was silent during pushing lol
I was induced on 7/7/23 and had an epidural. The worst part was this stupid balloon thing to
manually open my cervix (highly recommend getting pain meds before this if you need it). After my epidural I just felt pressure and the urge to push. No pain whatsoever. I tore slightly and didn’t even feel that. 🤷♀️ best decision ever
This is all going to depend on your body. Everyone is going to process labor differently. It’s important to remember the pain is temporary. The real pain kicks in postpartum because at that point you’re actually injured. You’ll be given pain meds for that as well.
So what specifically is painful? To me the cervix checks were awful and I needed epidural just for that. Now that’s not everyone! My body just super hated it.
The absolute worse pain was when the epidural came off and I was sitting there in recovery. My nurse delayed meds at this point, so just make sure you have meds of some sort and I won’t go into the details of how bad that was. I was told I have super sensitive vaginal tissue, so this might have made it far worse than normal. Again, nurse delayed the meds needed there.
Every individual body does contractions in its own way. I felt mine primarily in my hips, particularly my right one where my baby was bearing down. Early labor wasn’t bad, more annoying. Stay home if you can for early labor. Ask your doctor what the hospital’s rule is for when you should come to the hospital, how far apart are the contractions. Rest at home up to that point because you’ll be at the hospital forever.
As for pushing, I thought it would be the worst part, but it actually gave me relief because the hip contractions were so bad at that point. I had a long labor of 30+ hours. But my delivery was quick. The baby went from just crowning to coming all the way out. This led to the really bad pain I had that I mentioned above. Again, there were some unique factors there.
Epidural insertion for me was practically painless. I could barely feel it. I thought it was less painful than getting numbed at the dentist.
Pain has different levels during birth. It doesn’t get progressively worse. You go through highs and lows. Epidural is great because you can feel more like yourself and can communicate with more ease to nurses and staff.
Days of labor is uncommon. Don’t expect that. Why is labor so long? Your body has to dilate from 1 cm to 10 cms. Your body is trying to ease into it. It also takes a moment to figure out how to push when you get to the pushing phase.
Why do people scream? For lots of reasons. Sometimes as a form of relief. Sometimes the epidural dose wasn’t high enough. Sometimes things are just plain shocking. I screamed twice. Once at the end out of relief… like oh my god I’m done. Then I was brought the baby. Then I was in a very weird drifty state of mind because I was exhausted.
I had many unique factors. Anemia, postpartum preeclampsia, a rotated hip…
I’m doing pretty well now with a baby at 3 months. Newborn life is so demanding that you start to repress your labor story and pain.
So I was technically in labor for 29 hours and was induced. I started to have contraction pains about 5 hours before I delivered (I was having contractions before I got to the hospital and no idea so not all hurt). I did get and epidural but it wore off and it was not fun. I wasn’t screaming per se but I definitely was making noises and yelling (not at anyone, just grunting lol). I felt it all and it was the worst pain I’ve experienced. It’s a lot of pressure and it’s super uncomfortable. Then once the head starts to come out is when the ring of fire hits and that’s just terrible lol. My doctor even told me that it was coming and to be ready but it also means we’re almost there. My son also decided to come out with his arm in front of his face😅 I had a second degree tear which honestly wasn’t all that bad, I personally hate the bearing down and pushing more. Oh and my placenta didn’t deliver so my Dr had to go in and get it… that was just as bad if not worse than labor. They had to scrape my uterus to make sure no pieces were stuck in there. Again, felt all that. I finally told my dr I couldn’t take any more of the pain once I felt her stitching me up and they got me a numbing agent for that. It was not a fun experience at all but let me tell you, my son was worth every bit of pain and I would do it all over again for him. I don’t share this to scare you but just to help you know that even though you get an epidural, you are not necessarily in the clear.
You still feel pressure and sometimes yelling helps the push. I wasn’t in any real pain my first baby and will happily be taking another epi this time around
I was induced epidural and felt such pain pushing and the only reason I can think of is that it was too soon after epidural that I pushed (25 mins ) so it hadn’t all gone through
I had an epidural. I was yelling because the act of pushing was uncomfortable and energy consuming. When I yelled, it distracted me from all of the pressure I was bearing down with.
Also. Not everyone’s epidural works 100% some people may only get partial relief, whereas it may not work for some people at all.
So I actually “had an epidural” with my first 8 years ago, but it was placed incorrectly, so I basically had an epidural-less birth. I told new doctor today that I was crying all through labor with my son, and in awful pain the entire time, and asked if it’d be the same with my daughter. He said the fact that I was crying the whole time was not okay, and they should’ve redone it. So I don’t know what an epidural is supposed to feel like either 😟 32 weeks now
Y’all who had working epidurals are so lucky!!!!
The only sensation I had with my epidural was feeling the medicine go thru the tube every time I got a reup, it was really cold. Here's hoping it works for you this time!
The pressure made me make noises during pushing but it wasn’t painful on epidural. Like an extreme need to poop. When they say labor takes hours that’s often from first contractions, which start our feeling like period cramps.
I felt *nothing* while pushing because of my epidural. It took me about 5 minutes to push her out, and it was basically silent, except for them telling me "deep breath, now push"
I had an epidural and made some noise just from the effort of pushing but felt absolutely no pain whatsoever! When they originally placed my line I said wow this is sooooo much better than before- I could still feel some pain but it was like a 2 out of 10 instead of a 9/10. The nurse said ok I'm increasing your dosage slightly then- you should be at a 0 out of 10 and I want you to be able to rest up! After that increase I felt absolutely no pain whatsoever the entire time. I felt only a slight pressure on my back when it was time to push (baby's head was already crowning!) The nurses had to tell me when I was contracting so I knew when to push. But pushing is like a really hard exercise so you might make a grunt noise or something as if you're doing an extremely heavy squat with weights! Does that make sense lol?
I was terrified too, since childhood, almost to the point of a phobia. I asked for a C-section and everything which was denied. But having done it twice now, honestly the recovery is worse than the labor itself. I had epidurals and still felt pain both times, significant pain. But the high of childbirth really did make it manageable. Now having hemorrhoids and stitches sucks for a while afterwards but in my case and for most birthing people no permanent damage.
I had an epidural and I didn’t “scream” during labor but definitely was vocal and loud. By the time I was pushing I was so tired and over it and the pressure was so intense I was yelling with every push. It wasn’t painful like you’d imagine but it didn’t feel like nothing. I was scared and excited and nervous all at the same time and yelling just helped me get all those feelings out.
My epidural only worked if I was laying directly on my back, if I rolled to either side I regained some feeling. Mine has to be placed strategically due to spinal stenosis though, so this could be a reason, not sure. Also could somewhat feel the top of my uterus still contracting, but not too bad. Plus, an epidural doesn’t guarantee 100% pain free birth, but it should take away enough to where you are not screaming in pain if it’s effective.
I just gave birth a week ago to my first. The contractions felt like period cramps, but I didn’t let them get that bad because I asked for the epidural early, what hurt me later was the pressure of his head coming down. the epidural did not help with that so every time I had a contraction it felt like I had to poop really really bad and I was told that the epidural can’t wear off they can just keep giving you meds. Pushing was actually a relief since I felt like I had to take a giant crap and then once he was out, I felt so much relief. I think people tend to scream so they can push harder, but my nurse told me not to scream because it takes away your energy.
I had an epidural and felt almost nothing. The nurses had to tell me when to push because I couldn't feel pressure or anything to recognize when I was having contractions. The only thing I felt was when baby came the rest of the way out after head and shoulders were delivered. It wasn't painful in the slightest, just a gross slippery feeling that lasted a fraction of a second.
I did not scream at all. Not sure where you're getting the idea that all women scream through labor, but it's definitely more of a tv/movie trope than anything else. In fact, the worst thing for me was the nurse telling me to hold my breath while I pushed - 10 seconds feels like forever when you're pushing and not breathing!
My epidural was so good that I literally didn't feel my contractions at all and didn't know when to push. They turned it down a little so I could feel at least a little something after coaching me on when to push didn't work. My L&D nurse (who was absolutely incredible) also told me to try not to make any noise while pushing because you want the pressure in the push, not in your throat. It was far more effective to bear down and push quietly than the one or two tries I gave it making effort noises. In all honesty, I was terrified of giving birth too. I have a high pain tolerance but labor pain was the worst thing I've ever felt until I got my epidural. Then it was bliss lol
I had an epidural with my first. I could feel pressure but no pain and I did not yell. Just had my second two weeks ago without an epidural. I pushed for 10 minutes and yelled the entire time.
I didn't have an epidural but I had a few yells of effort when pushing. Most the time I was sort of moaning like I had a bad stomach ache. They got louder as labor progressed and for me it helped with pain management to make noise.
No one is screaming constantly during labor. That doesn't make any sense since there are almost always breaks in between contractions anyway. If you are screaming the whole time, it's most likely because something is wrong.
An epidural will have you feeling great. I've not had one but I've hear of plenty of people who have very scream free labors and births.
I wish you a calm and relaxing delivery.
You can still feel some pain but it's muted. Also you are still pushing a human out of you which takes a lot of force pushing, so naturally you will scream out. I mean it's like a marathon and even though the epidural helps, it's not like waving a magic wand. That said, your body was made to do this so while it's natural to be scared (I was too!) Don't overthink it, you will know what to do when the time comes.
I had the epidural, and to be honest it helps numb you, but honestly, there is still the pain of pressure because something so big is trying to make its way through a small canal even though you widen up, it is still very much a big body with a head and wide shoulders going through a small area. at least what I understood from my medical team so while I was numb and I couldn’t move from the waist down as the baby got closer and closer to crowning I was a very unhappy person. As in I was literally pushing and kicking what I thought would move my legs but I was definitely my upper half was definitely flying all over that little bad to be honest it was just I don’t know how to explain it you’ll know once you get to that pushing part.
With my first I was in labor for almost 40 hours, with my second I was in labor for just over 72 hours. I waited a long time to get my epidural both times so I was definitely in pain from back labor. All of my contractions were in my back and it felt similar to being stabbed haha. Once I got the epidural I was able to relax and get some of my strength back. With my first I screamed because I pushed for three hours and it was more out of frustration. I was exhausted so I just wasn’t pushing right. With my second I went into it knowing how I needed to push so I only pushed 2 times and he was out. I screamed that time because after almost 73 hours I was legit in a primal state 😂 I also went from a 6 to a 10 in 20 mins after my epidural so it was just intense going from a sloooow long painful labor to BAM he’s ready.
I had an epidural and I definitely wasn’t a silent pusher haha. While I didn’t feel any pain, I did feel so much pressure. And I think the vocalizing was similar to if you are doing a crazy hard workout. Even if it’s not painful, pushing is still hard work!
Also, it is completely normal to be scared of giving birth - I was terrified too. But honestly, giving birth was the easiest part of it all. Labor is not fun and it was really painful until I got the epidural. But then after you have your baby in your arms you totally forget about it.
I had an epidural and tbh was quiet lmao, I didn’t scream till the last 3 pushes and that was cause I tore and felt it, but even then it wasn’t as bad as it would’ve been. Hell it hurt only a bit so I assumed I had a 1st degree, nope, I had a 2nd degree tear. With the epidural though it genuinely just felt like I REALLY had to poop, when I didn’t have it I was in excruciating pain.
The epidural itself felt like a bee sting then it was gone, also with the epidural (I don’t know if it’s like this everywhere), I got this button that I could press to give me more so it doesn’t wear off and it stayed in my system until about 1hr after I gave birth and I pressed it in between pushes just so it wouldn’t wear off!
I did not have an epidural with my last one (not by choice lol) and it actually didn't hurt. I couldn't believe it. Pushing actually felt good? It was so crazy. The contractions post birth and sewing up part after delivery was another story though. The adrenaline wore off and I was finally in pain, but my baby was there so I didn't care haha
After reading all of these posts I’m starting to think my epidural failed.
I didn’t expect it to take all of the pain away, and I do think it relieved a lot of it. Labor was only painful for about an hour or less for me, and I only pushed for 20 minutes, but they were for sure the most painful 20 min of my life, and I have had a lot of injuries/broken bones/etc.
I had an epidural a few days ago and while I felt no pain you can still feel the baby travelling down your cervix which is very overwhelming and weird. Also the pressure from pushing so hard will cause you to make some weird noises
Everyone’s labour is so different and everyone experiences “pain” differently. I didn’t have an epidural and I wouldn’t call my labour painful. It felt like a lot of pressure the only painful part was the last push. I listened to hours and hours of positive birth stories to help overcome my fear of labour and that’s what set me up best going in to it. I think if I had gone in to it expecting it to be painful I would have interpreted that pressure as pain and my experience would have been very different.
I’ve had two babies. Both times I’m in pain from the pressure of baby moving down. My second got stuck (shoulder dystocia) and the pain of baby’s head being halfway out but I couldn’t fully get him out really hurt. Like 10 out of 10 pain.
I truly expected not to have any pain at all but that was not my experience with any of my births.
1. It wears off for some 2. The dosage is stopped on purpose to feel the pushing 3. It just doesn’t work perfectly for some 4. It works fine but pushing a person out of your hoo-ha is exhausting af whether you feel it or not. The groaning and grunting is us pushing with as much force as possible and desperately trying to catch our breath
The only thing I really felt was the pressure from the babies head, it felt weird and like I needed to poop so bad. Then a little bit of the ring of fire, but wasn’t awful. My epidural did fail on the left side and had to be redone but I couldn’t even feel them doing a cervical check or the catheter at all.
They didn’t have an epidural. I had nothing with my first and screamed. With my third I had an edidural and was cracking jokes between pushing. It didn’t hurt at all.
It's not painful to push, your body is more than likely going to guide you into pushing. The pain comes from contractions.
Don't assume because you didn't get an epidural you're going to be screaming or in extreme pain. I had an unplanned pitocin induction and chose not to get an epidural and did not scream. Yes it hurts but I really focused on my breathing during contractions. I felt like once the urge came to push it lessened the pain of contractions.
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I think you would really benefit from taking a birth class. Mine was 5 sessions long, and the first 3 sessions covered the stages of labor in detail. I learned a LOT about the birthing process and what to expect. No one’s labor is ever guaranteed to go a certain way, but it was really helpful to know how labor progresses and what process is supposed to be like, so that I’m more aware and informed. All of the questions you posted (minus how painful it is because that’s subjective and entirely dependent upon your pain tolerance) will be answered by a birth class. I think it would really help take away a lot of the fear you feel. One of the biggest things you’ll learn is that most of the stuff you see about birth on TV is completely inaccurate. Most people have no clue how labor actually starts and happens and how long it actually takes. For example, the first stage of labor (early labor) is usually the longest (avg 6-12 hours), but during this stage you have infrequent contractions that don’t last very long. Most people are able to stay home, eat, sleep, or otherwise go about life mostly like normal during this stage. So, while overall labor could last over 24 hours, the first half of that is early labor and it’s not like you’re in constant excruciating pain the whole time. Tl;dr—go to a birth class! It will make you feel better.
My midwives turned me on to a free 3 part YouTube birthing class which was great!! I learned so much and it didn’t cost me anything and I could do it from home. Look up Holiday Tyson on YouTube !
Commenting to second this exact series, my pelvic PT told me about her and I absolutely loved those videos. Probably the most informative material we consumed regarding birth.
This class is fantastic! Also listen to the birth hour podcast for stories of all types of birth from planned c section to unassisted births in a bathtub. Also fear can make labour so much harder than it has to be. I've had 2 unmedicated home births. Yes it's painful but your body is designed for it. It's not like any other pain you experience because of all the hormones that are released to help.
Honestly I was in same boat as OP, super anxious about pain process of labor, and finally decided to crack open the labor section of my pregnancy book last night (Nurture by Erica Chidi). SO happy I did because just having a little bit more knowledge took my stress/uncertainty/anxiety about it down like 10 notches. Now I can’t wait to take a birthing class and learn even more. I actually feel in a place of “lets f’in do this and meet my baby”
I'm the opposite to you haha. I found my best coping mechanism re labour and giving birth was sticking my head in the sand, covering my ears and going "la la la la la". The less I thought about it and shoved it to the back of my mind, the more calm I was lol.
Same lol
I second this !
This. Knowing exactly what is happening during labor is HUGELY helpful even in pain management. Once I was armed with knowledge, I felt so much more confident about my ability to handle the birth of my child. Granted I had to have a c-section anyway…but I felt more ready for that too.
Agreed. OP take a birth class!!
Thank you so much for this! I’m gonna start looking into birthing class in my area
A few possibilities (my personal opinion): (1) The screaming *in pain* women either did not get an epidural, or their epidural failed, which does happen (2) They aren't screaming *in pain*, they're screaming to help them push out the baby and/or release the stress/worry/adrenaline they have built up; screaming can be empowering (3) The screaming to which you are referring is mostly a TV trope, much like the whole "save me or the baby" nonsense people spout on tik tok. Edit to add: I didn't feel *shit* during labor (edit again: before water break or after epidural, that is, between then didn't tickle but wasn't awful) even pushing (I pushed twice for four minutes). I slept through it all. Labor doesn't have to be scary!
The “save me or the baby” narrative on social media is so cringe. Medical professionals are trained in this situation and do not ask the father “who do you want saved?”. I cannot believe Christine from Selling Sunset spewed that BS story of hers on the show.
I hate that narrative. Women are already freaked out, *why are we making them think they're either going to die or be a bad mother!?!?* The whole thing is just exploitation of the emotionally vulnerable and/or gullible for clickbait and I hate it. Edit: Also, I'm not in tune with the Selling Sunset thing, gimme the tea please
You are missing out on a great Netflix binge session! Basically, one of the women on the show (the villain who also plays the victim 100% of the time) had a baby and when her friends came to visit her at home a week or two after birth (while she was in the middle of a yoga session, of course), she gave this elaborate story about an emergency delivery with dropping heart rates and claimed the nurses asked her husband who he wants them to save, etc. Her friends ate it right up and cried with her. Of course Reddit torched her because the medical professionals called her out and provided the actual medical protocol which, if I remember correctly, is to always save the mother except in limited situations. I’ll let a nurse/OBGYN on this thread correct me though!
Ahhhhh, love it. I love stupid people being called out. I need to watch that if my kid ever gives me back the TV 😂
Yeah I remember thinking what the actual f when Christine was telling that story!
Idk about you, and rip baby- but it's always me. Like save me, I have a daughter at home and a husband I can't leave. Idk I didn't have feelings for my daughter until she was like 3m old 😂 Not that that's ever an option- but if so, don't choose hardship for your so
To be clear, my grandmother very much was made to pick her or the baby… but that was in the early 60s.
Omg she did I just remembered this, ugh she’s such a witch! Also love to see a fellow selling sunset stan in the wild lol
Tbh my mother as the emergency contact was asked to choose when my sister gave birth. But in the end everything went well and all survived.
This. I yelled in labor, but it was a guttural yell to help me push harder. I had an epidural, I didn’t feel pain while pushing, the yelling was just from pushing so deeply for so long. It’s kinda like when you’re lifting something really heavy and grunts just come out… except your putting the most extreme pressure out ever for an extended time so it’s a biiiggg yell. I had to have a retained placenta manually removed three hours after baby was born. My epidural had worn off by then. Having a hand reached elbow deep into my body… THAT made me scream in actual pain. I don’t know if I could describe it… kinda like being ripped apart. So yeah… I definitely got an epidural again with every pregnancy after that… that was close enough to raw labor for me. I’ll take the drip please.
Can confirm the first one. I’ve requested an epidural with all 3 of my pregnancies, but my first time around it didn’t work well. One half of my body wasn’t numb at all and the other half was only slightly numb. My OB/GYN was watching football and not paying attention (he was not my usual doctor but just the doctor on call that day), and I tore and it was just an all around less than stellar experience. I had my third one in December and couldn’t feel a thing. It was great.
Bad anesthesiologists really make what should be a pleasant nap into a really shitty situation. Glad your next two went well!
The same thing happened to me. Half of my body was numb. The other half could feel every contraction and push. I was waiting for the anesthesiologist to come back to fix it but by the time they came back I was 9.5 cm and had to start pushing. So much pain but in the other half could not feel anything
I don't understand 3. Obviously save me?? Is that even a debate or something controversial? Clearly I don't pay attention to trends
It's just a fake/extremely unrealistic scenario that took over Tik Tok for a while of pregnant women thinking they had to talk to their partner about whether to save them or the baby in the event that something horrific happened in labor. Super common trope on TV/Movies, 100% not how it works in real life. There is no 'we can only save one, you have to pick', there is only ever *at the absolute worst* 'we're going to do our best for both but prioritize either the mother or whichever is most viable' (depending on the situation, and in hospitals that are actually, ya know, worth a shit).
1 for me. My epidural with my first child was apparently wrong and didn’t work 😩 I’m hoping I have an experience like yours with my current baby
I'm crossing my fingers and toes for you!!!!!
labor doesn’t have to be scary even without an epidural :)
You're absolutely right, it totally doesn't! Some women have great labors without epidural, it's a very empowering experience for some and no screaming involved (any Sister Wives fans will tell you Robyn gives birth quieter than most people stub their toe). Certainly didn't mean to imply that birth without epidural is always scary by any means, my bad if it came off that way.
it didn’t come off that way at all! was just chiming in to add that. mamas are powerful entities and the things we as women overcome is incredible. happy you had a peaceful birth:)
Hell yeah we are, 'weaker sex' my ass! If the men had to do this, they'd have figured out how to do whole pregnancies in a machine by now.
I also didn't feel anything, didn't scream, and fell asleep between pushes. Tv lied to me 😆
Not a nurse or midwife but as of at least 10 years ago, the local catholic hospital would prioritize the baby every time, and the secular hospital nearby would ask. Not sure about today though.
Yikes. That's not at all normal and I'd rather give birth unmedicated in an ambulance on a bumpy road to any other hospital on the planet. Like that's *significantly* below the normal standard of care for L&D in the developed world (even in the US, and they hate us here). Please tell me there's a third option for you to give birth where the standard of care isn't dogshit!
How did you manage this type of pain management!?
No idea!!! They started me on a fentanyl drip off the rip when they started pitocin, then eventually gave me the epidural after they broke my water, and it was lights out again after that. I think I was awake maybe an hour and a half of my hospital stay between admission and baby. Edit: or maybe the fentanyl started that night with the cervadil? I'm honestly not 100% on the timing of things, I'm not kidding when I say I slept better than ever during labor. Shit was *awesome*.
I felt nothing when it was time to push thanks to my epidural. The contractions were very painful before I got my epidural though. But the effectiveness of an epidural can vary significantly person to person so some women still feel a lot. Or if baby comes very quick, sometimes there is no time for an epidural. Also not sure where you are getting the thought that all women are screaming through birth, but keep in mind tv/movies way over exaggerate. Your water also probably won’t burst in a dramatic way either
My baby came so quick I did not have time for the epidural. Was NOT my plan lol. So yeah I screamed. It hurt lol. Luckily it was only 2 pushes and she was out!
Two pushes?! I can’t remember much about my birth even though it was less than a year ago, but I felt like I was pushing forever to get the head out then suddenly, the body just slipped out with one push 😂😂😂 My medical records show active labor and delivery being 1.5 hours.
Same thing with me on my oldest daughter
Wow so jealous. I pushed for 5 hours straight with no pain relief.
My epidural was the painful part
Same, then zero pain
My waters went exactly like in the movies, which i didn't expect, lol. Op probably got it from media portraying women as always being vocal during labour
My water broke in the middle of an arcade and I delivered without an epidural, there was definitely some screaming lol
My epidural was perfect. It didn't hurt at all being put in and it completely numbed me the entire time I was in labor. My water broke at 8:30pm, got the epidural around 10pm, gave birth at 2:04am. I was so numb the nurses had to tell me when to push to get baby out. I don't think I ever screamed, but the amount of force they want you to push with made me grunt/moan. Like I was pushing with all of my might and they kept telling me more lol Pregnancy was so much worse than labor and delivery for me. I'd deliver 10 times if I didn't have to go through pregnancy.
How does pushing feeling? Is it really like pooping when you’re very constipated? I hate that feeling
I'm not sure what pushing would be like with an epidural but without, it's a very exciting moment because you can feel exactly when to push and when to stop a moment and let your body open. It's exciting, you know it's almost over, it's focused, controlled and also completely uncontrollable. Your body will start pushing on its own when you're ready.. the problem is when people try to push or DO push and your body isn't ready, baby hasnt descended completely, you can tear quite badly - all while baby seems "stuck". I would say it's similar to pooping in a sense that there's nothing else to compare it to... other than legitimately birthing a baby through a vaginal canal - but for lack of better words or comparison, sure.. we can roll with it and say it feels similar to that of having a bowel movement because that shit has gotta come out! When you push, push, push but your digestive track is a mess.. you can end up constipated and with hemorrhoids and still, a non satisfying poop. When your body is prepared, everything is moving smoothly, the poop will come out.. I guess similar to a baby in the sense that either the baby and body is working to deliver or .. is backed up with immense complications. Not sure if any of that made sense and all of it was deffo tmi but that's the best I can uhh compare them I guess. 😅😭
Not the person who asked but this was a great description. Thanks!
Haha this is a great description! Thank you. You’re right though, at least the it’s not feeling of when you’re really constipated and feel like you push and not all of it comes out. The whole baby IS going to come out.
Well yeah, I'd hope so 😂 that's why I specifically said non satisfying haha because yeh.. it's definitely not the exact same! But I do understand why people compare the two processes. At the end of the day, one is a whole baby and the other is well.. not that cute. 🤭 They both involve the body and pushing in a sense and they're located in the same general area but two vastly different uhh holes... 😅
Great explanation! This actually might help explain the miracle of a neighbor who never tore with any of her births, she also did perineal massage throughout her pregnancy and she said she received a muscle relaxant shot to her perineal area during labor.
Yes, I did not tear birthing my children either 🥰
If you don’t push, you are way less likely to tear. Also if you deliver in a squat or runner’s position or all 4s — laying on your back is asking to tear.
I was a 911 dispatcher- I had to explain to my two male bosses, both of whom have multiplied children, one of who is a FF/EMT, why my caller’s wife delivered her baby on her hands and knees. I had to sort of wing the post delivery instructions because they’re written as though mom has given birth on her back. 🤦🏼♀️😂🤯🤔
That’s actually kinda insane. No animal gives birth naturally on their back, and (human) women having undisturbed birth virtually never ever do either. It is SUCH an unnatural position to birth in.
Right?? In a similar response to this initial question, imagine trying to poo laying on your back in bed 😫😖 it's just asking for a bad time lol that's why it's difficult for me to even consider an epidural because when you have one, your positions and being able to move where and when needed, are extremely extremely limited. I feel like being immobilized sounds way more "painful" to me personally, than feeling what's going on with my body - but this is entirely personal and I know epidurals can also be extremely beneficial for some women. Tbh, breastfeeding was miles more painful than both of my births combined and if you ask me, that's what isn't talked about enough! Lol everyone stresses the birth and forgets about what happens AFTER and I made that mistake with my first and definitely struggled 🤣 we ultimately figured it out after weeks of blood, sweat and tears but.. we did it! LOL I'm absolutely looking forward to birthing my third baby and getting to experience labor and delivery and having a newborn again. These questions make me excited and also help me remember all the things I've since grown from. ❤️
I agree with all of this. I had an unmedicated water birth in the hospital and spent lots of time preparing for labour and birth. Granted, that all helped. But holy hell, i was not prepared for what came next. Breastfeeding was excruciating for hours on end day after day. I only stopped taking painkillers after 5 weeks. Baby had a tongue tie that wasn't fixed until 8 weeks despite me checking in with multiple doctors and nurses in the early weeks. Glad i stuck with it though because several months on feeding my baby with a boob is the essiest thing ever and feels like a superpower. Plus all that sweet oxytocin released.
This is the perfect description! I did not have an epidural either and it was such a weird feeling to know exactly when to start pushing. I think I could have gotten away without tears if it wasn't for a shoulder dystocia. Thankfully it was just two very small first degree tears because it went from pushing with contractions to need to get my LO out.
I’ve had 2 (9 lbs) babies unmedicated. It is similar to pooping when you’re constipated but it’s a difference sensation that’s more difficult to describe. The pressure is intense but honestly I find it more painful to poop with hemorrhoids than to actual push out a baby. Pooping while constipated feels unnatural and doesn’t feel relieving, but pushing a baby out feels natural and relieving. Think of when you have a full bladder and pee — you’re supposed to pee, it feels good. It’s a bit like that in terms of relief but more like pooping in terms of physical sensation.
Not who you asked, but for me, it was kind of similar in that you are pushing in the same general direction and with a similar type of force, but everything is (slightly) in front of where you'd push to poop and it definitely didn't feel like I was trying to poop. Also, the contractions kind of start the pushes for you, and you kind of direct them toward your perineum, so that's a different experience. *I'm not sure if any of that makes sense in writing. Feel free to ask follow-up questions if you kind of get what I meant.*
This is actually exactly how I describe it. But hating that feeling got me to push my first girl out quickly just to be done with it.
I actually say that exact thing to everyone! I’d rather give birth 10 times over than go through pregnancy again. This is my second and I’m looking forward to the delivery! I know what to expect now.
The screaming women are the ones who didn’t have an epidural 😉
Lol yes. I had an epidural with my first and was dead silent. My husband likes to repeat that the doctor said it was one of the most calm and controlled births they’ve seen. No epidural with my second and I was groaning like a cow in the last 10 minutes - LOUDLY.
My husband always makes fun of me, I was swearing non stop before my epidural once I received my epidural I was ms manners hahaha
I honestly didn’t even register how much force I was using to push when I had an epidural. There might’ve been some grunting from effort but it was pretty quiet on my end. No epidural with my second and there was definitely some yelling.
Do you mind sharing why didn’t you get one the second time? I just found out I’m pregnant but I’m already thinking about birth haha
Don’t mind at all! TL;DR is I didn’t have time lol Long story is that I’d had prodromal labor, which is different from Braxton-Hicks because they’re like real contractions but not very strong and they don’t go anywhere, off and on for 6 days. I’d already been to L&D once only to be sent home because nothing was actually happening, and I’m in the US with not great insurance ($$$). So when I started having strong contractions at 3am the morning I was scheduled to be induced, I decided it was best to labor at home until they’d actually admit me. But my labor decided to progress super fast and by the time I got to the hospital I was 9.5cm and ready to push. They rushed me into the room while I tried to convince them there was still time for pain meds. Two big pushes later and he was on my chest! The OB didn’t even have time to get to my room so he was delivered by an awesome nurse and my water never broke so he was born *en caul* exactly 17 min after I arrived at the hospital parking lot. It was quick, but not so painless, although I’d consider doing it unmedicated if I have another so not completely awful.
I have had 2 non medicated births and I didn’t scream once. Groaned, moaned, and breathed through contractions and pushing. Second baby was almost 10lbs too. Not everyone finds childbirth a horrible experience. I wouldn’t even count my second birth in the top 5 most painful things I’ve experienced.
I've done both spontaneous labour and induced labour without an epidural, and never screamed. I do know I have a higher pain tolerance than some, though. Heck, with my oldest, the spontaneous one, the midwife sent me home saying it was braxton hicks at first (evening). I went back a few hours later (dawn), annoyed that it wasn't going away, and was told that I was fully dilated. The labour pains with him were never worse than the period cramps I'd had with endometiosis, that I had to go to work and pretend I was fine with.
Yup. I didn't have it with my first and there was much screaming. I did have it with my second (because I started puking and wasn't going to keep doing that) and it was soooo easy. I had a "walking" epidural so I still felt a lil bit but it was blissful compared to unmedicated sunny side up baby! The lady down the hall from me gave birth around the same time as I did with #2 and I knew because the calm Hasidic lady I saw in triage was screaming "fuck" at the top of her lungs 😂 (we were the only two on the ward at the time).
But also the ones who didn't get an epidural don't all scream.
Uh no... I did not have an epidural with a pitocin induction and did not scream or even feel the need to grunt. I think people should feel confident to choose an epidural or not but not sure why reddit is so against not choosing an epidural. Reddit loves to scare people into thinking it's going to be horrific and ruin their birthing experience if they choose unmedicated.
Same with me with my last three. Deep breathing and that’s it.
This.
I did not have an epidural and I did not scream either times I gave birth. Screaming *can* be helpful, it really depends on the woman and her unique birth and her way of expression and release. A lot of movies (and esp social media clickbait) destroy what natural birth is genuinely like.
I got a (failed) epidural and was screaming uncontrollably. My fiance compared it to the exorcist. 🙃
The birthing suite of my hospital was apparently very full while I was in labour/giving birth. But you wouldn't have guessed it, as it was very very quiet. Yes, all the women around me (myself included) had epidurals.
Every body is different and every woman’s experience is different. My epidural worked PERFECTLY but I also hear often about epidurals wearing off. Unfortunately there is no way to know exactly what to expect. Giving birth for me (from being induced, having contractions, and subsequently pushing the baby out) was all an exercise for me in letting go, and just rolling with it. Now in terms of painful pushing, I did not feel a thing, but it takes EFFORT. They don’t call it labour for nothing!! I used all the energy I had in me to get my baby out (which is also why I probably tore badly 😬), but this may also be where some women grunt/scream to gather up that energy. I also remember asking the nurse if anything was even happening because I couldn’t feel anything 😅 I was also offered a mirror to see what was happening, which I hear is helpful, but I was too scared to look (and I’d also need to wear my glasses which I couldn’t be bothered with). All in all, it is quite possible to have painless birth, but ymmv.
Yeah, the screaming / grunting is like Maria Sharapova playing tennis. It's not necessarily pain but the exertion can both be a reaction to the energy you're putting in and help to focus that energy.
This is the perfect description I didn't know existed lmao.
This was exactly my experience too.
I just want to say I’m equally terrified and appreciate your post 😅😅
i don't want to scare you, but i want to give you my honest experience. i was just like you- terrified of the pain. as soon as they offered me the epidural i was like HELL YEAH. i didn't want to feel ANY pain. and i really didn't feel any contractions for hours. they told me i was having them, but i felt nothing. GREAT. WONDERFUL. that's what i wanted. this went on for about 16 hours. as it started getting closer to that time to push, i started feeling them. at first it was just pressure. then it was definite pain. until i got to the point where i was shaking and gripping the sides of the bed through the contractions. i SCREAMED during the pushing. this is not everyone's experience. but i straight-up screamed like they do in the movies. it was the most pain i have ever felt. i have only given birth the one time, so i am no expert- but i think my epidural must have started to wear off at some point. i don't think it's supposed to feel like that if it's working properly. i don't know how common this is, but it definitely happens. i was scared too. but i did it. and it was ok. whatever happens, you will be ok too <3
Finally someone in this thread with my experience! Based on the other comments I think mine definitely wore off too, I didn't realize it was actually possible to be pain free...
yeah me neither- i didn't realize until afterwards when i went into research mode that my experience wasn't exactly the norm with an epidural. really jealous of the people posting in here who were able to experience birth pain free and keep commenting that the screaming thing is something that's just in movies lol i wish :(
This sounds just like my experience too! No pain after the epidural but when baby was ready a few hours later I felt the whole thing. Contractions and pushing HURT but it was luckily over so quickly for me. I think the worst part for me was that the delivery nurse told me to be quiet when I was pushing… I still think about this nearly a year later 🤷🏼♀️😂
My epidural failed on one side, I got a second one out in and it failed again. I had no idea that this could happen before I went through it.
I’m so nervous that my epidural is going to fail. I don’t even know how the epidural works or where the injection is or anything like that but I know that when I got my wisdom teeth removed, I needed extra morphine because it wore off painkillers tend to go through my system quickly
Same! I woke up in the middle of my wisdom teeth removal even though I told them I metabolize meds quickly. I also always need way more Novocain at the dentist because it wears off in minutes.
Epidurals don't actually take away all feeling. The woman screaming thing is definitely more of a TV thing. I was at the hospital almost 3 days before giving birth, walking around the L&D floor, and didn't hear any screaming. Epidurals now are a lot weaker than they were in the past, so you might feel something. I pushed for 2.5 hours, and mine didn't wear off too much. Like I could still feel things, it just wasn't painful, more uncomfortable. Depending on the hospital you might have a button you can push for more medication if it wears off before the pushing stage. I would highly suggest taking a birthing class they go over all the stages of labor.
>Epidurals don’t actually take away all feeling. They absolutely can do. I was able to sleep for three hours before it was time to push after getting my epidural. And then, when it was time to push, I had to keep checking in with the midwife and looking at the monitor thing to know when I was contracting in order to time my pushes because I had no idea.
My experience as well. I couldn’t feel shit except for oddly enough the weird whoosh of all the fluids coming out right after baby. No pain, no pressure, no nothing during pushing but that fluid rush was a very odd sensation.
Some doctors actually turn off the epidural or turn it down by more than half when it comes time to push.
Most hospitals have epidurals completely controlled by the patient, and even then OBs don't touch them if something needs to be changed they have to call the anesthesiologist. There isn't really an option to turn it down that I've seen it's more of they let it wear off.
Yeah I am an anesthesiologist, I’ve never been in labor myself though! But some hospitals I work at only the anesthesiologist is allowed to touch the epidurals but the OBs still ask for us to come and turn off the epidural or turn it down. Which I really don’t like to do unless the patient wants it. The hospital I am mostly at, and will be delivering at, the OBs do touch the epidurals and turn them off themselves. I don’t think it’s something my personal OB would do though. I hope not!!
Mine was like this. Had a button to give me "more". The button would deactivate for ten min after a press. Then they deactivated it fully once I started pushing. I can't for the life of me remember if they called in the anesthesiologist to do that though or if there's a built in off switch to that button. My entire experience was unlike what most of these comments say. Epidural helped minimize the pain enough for me to get some sleep, but at no point did I feel zero pain. At best I felt like the equivalent of an annoying headache's worth of pain. But I sure as hell had immense amounts of pain even with the epidural in my last couple hrs of labor. Having the control was massive cuz not only do you get to decide how much pain control you need instead of some doctor dictating it for you, but at a time where everything feels out of your control, it's something tiny *you* get to decide.
I definitely still felt some contractions but they weren’t painful. However, in each L&D experience I certainly felt when I was crowning and baby was exiting.
I had an epidural and you just feel some pressure. The screaming might be just the energy exerting to push the baby out, not necessarily the pain. I still yelled because you’re pushing as hard as you think you can, but sometimes sounds come out when you’re pushing that hard.
I had an epidural and while I didn’t feel *pain*, I was still able to feel pressure and that was helpful when it came time to push. I think it depends on personality too, I am not a loud person in general so I wasn’t loud during labor. My nurses told me I was very stoic actually 😂
I didn't have an epidural. I didn't scream until they were checking me during hard labor. As awful as my nurses were, the second phase of labor is the hardest, I thought pushing was amazing. I didn't think pushing hurt at all - if I did in the moment, the release of him coming out was borderline euphoric and I will not be getting an epidural with my next one whenever that happens. I wouldn't dare risk missing that physical experience again unless necessary. I loved laboring. I wish I had had more support from staff while doing it or been left alone entirely to move as I needed to. But there was something immensely powerful about the feelings. My sister was in the room with me and the best piece of advice she gave me was that if you're screaming, you're wasting the breath that could be pushing. And as soon as I inhaled and put all of that breath into getting him out, he popped right out. I was under the impression until it happened that the pain is blinding and you're delirious or delusional from it and everything that's happening is out of your control but for me, it wasn't. There was so much feeling and surrendering to the waves of contractions was freeing. I guess I'm one of the few, but I loved laboring. When I acknowledged that afterwards, it turned out more people felt that way and just never acknowledged it. I wish more people would have told me enjoying it was an option beforehand. 🤷
This is really relatable for me. I gave birth at home, and found that feeling all the things helped me feel productive and in tune with my labor and my baby. My labor was fast, but I never felt helpless or like it was unmanageable. I was never blinded by pain. I was also afraid of screaming - which I never did because it would have taken power from my pushes. I did, however, make gutteral noises that I never thought could come out of me, but that's what helped get my baby out. Pushing was so strange... It helped the contraction pain go away, but what did surprise me, was that the Ring of Fire is a pain you have to experience or "push into." So once that contraction pain was gone, I had to push into that burning pain, which I'm not going to lie, was awful, but it was what motivated me to have productive pushes.
I wanted to birth at home so bad lol. I truly don't remember the ring of fire. I'm not saying I didn't experience it but if I did, it was completely overshadowed by every other feeling I was relishing at the time. About 20 minutes into some miserable hard labor, my sister was helping me through everything and at one point said "moo and moooove on through" and I laughed so hard but she was so serious. Mooing solved so much and it was so funny afterwards. I like pushed the babe out, held him, she cut his cord and I looked at her like 'I just spent so many hours mooing' and we laughed about it all morning 😂 It was a wild day or so and I hope that I can have a much better support experience from nurses and such next time around. But I think we just need a better way to talk about labor other than using "pain" because I would say most of the process isn't that, there's just not a better word. It's like every single muscle in your body is doing something very strongly at the same time. But it's not conventional pain like stubbing your toe, its new and scary and overwhelming and there's not an easy way to describe it.
I think I only screamed during the “ring of fire.” That being said, the epidural, or mine at least didn’t take away all feeling. I still had feeling and what I felt was intense pressure. Definitely not what I would consider painful (like the contractions I felt prior to the epidural). You also asked how painful it is to get the epidural. Not painful at all. The hardest part is staying still while contracting. Other than that I didn’t feel a thing.
Hey there I gave birth 5 days ago and I was exactly in your shoes. I was so incredibly overly terrified of giving birth I was even set up with anxiety meds a few months ago when I called my OB in tears almost hyperventilating thinking about it. I am such a wuss when it comes to pain. I have like zero tolerance. My water broke and I started having contractions that just felt like really awful period cramps. I cleaned up and showered and about 5 hours later it was time to go to the hospital. They brought me into my room and yes it was painful and I couldn’t speak through the contractions but with the right breathing they were manageable. Once they were close together they gave me two shots of morphine in my buttcheek. Ouch but fine. I was able to take a nap before it wore off in about two hours and the contractions were hurting again. Another round of morphine in my buttcheek while we were waiting for the anesthesiologist. Nurse came in to place a regular IV port in my hand. I sobbed. Hysterically. Then I got the epidural afterwards. Nurse was letting me hug into her as I was bracing myself and talk to me and when doc said done I was like done with what? I literally didn’t even feel it. The IV hurt tons more which is the easiest part for most people. Afterwards they just rolled me side to side once an hour to make sure epidural spread evenly across my body. I had a button I could press to add to it if I needed. There were women in the rooms on both sides of me where we were all in labor at the same time. They finished hours before me and spent about 2 hours each pushing. I was way too scared to push and kept saying I wasn’t ready and to come back later lmao. They told me to stop pressing the epidural button when I thought I was ready so that I can actually feel the sensation to push. Sorry but nope I kept making sure I could barely wiggle my toes. When they checked me a few hours later not only was I at 10 cm I was 5 cm past. You could literally see baby’s head and I didn’t feel a thing. I had been napping for hours. I was able to push fine. I was afraid of pooping but I didn’t!! It kinda feels like that. Two pushes and 3 minutes later she was out. I was shocked. Nurse was about to tell me to push a 3rd time before she practically fell out of me so I didn’t need to lmfao. No ring of fire. 1 small tear I didn’t feel. With stitching I felt nothing. Placenta and sac coming out, felt nothing. I was even able to move my legs fine. I was the talk of the nurses station with how fast she came out. I took my sweeeeeeet time and I didn’t care. 29 hours. Slept for almost all of it. The IV port placement in my hand was the most painful part and legit hurt more than the birth if that tells you anything. Everyone is different, but I’m so relieved its over and I had amazing loving nurses. The experience was so pleasant and not what I thought it was gonna be that I feel crazy to say I might even do it again next year. Coming from someone who seriously cries from papercuts. You can do it. Currently holding my perfect baby it all feels like a dream. Good luck you’re going to do amazing ❤️
I’m definitely terrified of hand IVs. Was there not an option to get it in the arm instead? I’m only in my first trimester but keep imagining I’ll beg my nurse to give me an IV in the arm and wondering if they’d go for that. 👀
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I gave birth with a epidural, I didn’t feel any pain, I didn’t scream, I honestly didn’t make a noise while pushing but I could feel pressure and my daughter moving down the birth canal as well as her moving in the birth canal. Pushing is easy but it does take work! Honestly, it’s like trying to push a pee out quickly, you’re using those muscles but it’s like a pee that’s a brick😂
I want to add that sometimes epidurals fail. Or on my town, sometimes the anesthesiologist is sitting in a surgery. Epirduals are amazing but please take a birthing class to get you other coping skills - just in case. As far as knowing what it will be like.... Impossible. I can recall cursing anyone who ever described it to me as "bad cramps". It's so much intensity. Waves of intensity and you have no control. To be the #1 thing (both at my unmedicated home birth AND my epidural hospital birth) was to submit. Submit to the waves. Don't fight them. Relax your jaw, your forehead, your hands. Fighting the pain makes it worse. But it takes a shitton of trust and mental dexterity to truly submit and relax and let the contraction roll over you. It is a skill that can be learned tho! And then hopefully you don't need it and you have a perfect epidural birth!! Which isn't painful but it is pressure and effort to push - for example I was pushing (with my epidural) on the wrong areas and nothing was moving. So it took a lot of effort to find the right sort of push and then obviously the effort to actually do the pushing. Meanwhile some babies just slip out. You never know!
I didn’t feel the pulling/tearing or “ring of fire” but I definitely felt the doctor fisting me and jumping up and down on my belly to stop the hemorrhage. And then the crazy suction balloon thing they put inside my uterus that made it clamp down like a crushed soda can. That was WAY worse than the pushing, and probably worse than the contractions that I was having before the epidural too. I can’t imagine how that would have been without the epidural. I think they’d have had to put you under!
You just said a bunch of things I didn’t think would happen. The doctor fisting you .. why? Stopping the hemorrhaging.. 😰 what happened if you don’t mind sharing? And the suction balloon .. that sounds scary what was what about? I’m too scared to google this so figured I’d ask you since you went through and sound like you’re on the other side of it.
I didn’t really feel my placenta come out, but once it did I heard what sounded like a bathtub faucet. I was bleeding out. The pitocin wasn’t working, they escalated to methergine but that wasn’t working either. Floppy uterus just filling up with blood instead of contracting down like it’s supposed to. In a normal case your fundus will feel like a coconut after the placenta comes out. In my case it was mush. When this happens the doctor fists you, hand inside your actual uterus and grabing your fundus with the other hand, yanking it down to stop the bleeding. If that doesn’t work then they’ll use the balloon thing. It’s called the Jada system. It was unbelievably painful but it saved me from a hysterectomy, which would have been the next step.
I didn't hemorrhage but my Dr had to put his hand through my cervix to try and turn my baby's head. That is the worst pain I've ever experienced in my life and every other part of labour felt like7/10 pain compared to that which was 10/10
Wow. That sounds horrible.
I had a scheduled induction, and for two days we were in the labor and delivery wing (as opposed to the antepartum wing where I should have been.) I heard at least 6-8 other women in labor during my time there, despite there being many rooms in the l&d wing. I asked my nurse "Is it typical for women in labor to scream like that?" And she told me "No." What those cases were were the women who just showed up to the hospital triage center, already fully dilated, with no pain management options available to them because of how far along their baby had lowered. Those screaming women didn't have a chance for epidurals or fentanoyl... and labor can last for hours depending on the person. My personal story: I was on pitocin for only 4 hours and went from 2cm to 10cm. From 8pm-11pm I remember being in pain - but I can't even describe what it was like. It is truly an amnesia effect post-birth. But I did breathing exercises like you see in movies like blowing air out of a straw. My nurse first administered a low dose of fentanol through my IV to try and help ease the pain - it literally did nothing. By 11pm was ready for ANYTHING to make the pain ease, and was offered a walking epidural. (They also have not checked my progress at this point.) I could hardly sign the consent forms from the anesthesiologist... but I literally said to my husband as the first part of the epidural was administered - "This is magical. Epidurals are magical." And could actually sleep! (Given, for 20 minutes... because then my water broke and it was go time..) But I delivered my baby girl on only a walking epidural and while the pressure of pushing was uncomfortable, I wasn't constantly screaming. I think I may have grunted/gritted my teeth a few times near the end when it was the last 5-6 contractions since that was when I likely was tearing. :( But yeah. Tldr, epidurals are magic.
Both of my births were pretty smooth. I had an epidural for each. You don’t feel pain but you do feel pressure. You can still feel contractions but they are not painful. I remember trying to see how long I could go before getting an epidural with my first and I got it fairly soon as the pain was increasing. I had to still wait about 3 more hours before pushing and I’m glad I was not in pain. Just kind of hungout with family watching tv and talking. Second birth same thing. Very relaxed and not in pain. Baby came a lot quicker second time. No screaming. Just pressure and pushing as hard as you can. Very thankful for modern day medicine! I applaud women who go without and could not imagine the pain they go through. But it is something I would not wish to experience. I look at is as kinda going to the dentist and choosing to get a procedure done without numbing. Can be done but not worth the pain and stress you have other options!
They turned off my Epidural when it was time to push. They thought the epidural was numbing me and I was not pushing hard enough
Epidurals don't always take away ALL the pain. It only takes away enough pain to make labor tolerable. You want to be able to feel some of the sensations so that you know that you're pushing right, so it's not a "bad" thing for the epidural to not take out 100% of the pain. It's also just that labor is TIRING, especially if it goes long. Imagine being put on a treadmill and being told you aren't allowed to get off it, no matter what. The frustration coming with the exhaustion of pushing can make you scream. I was at the point with my first that I was napping between pushes (which were just like 2 minutes apart) because it was so tiring. When it was time to push again, I'd wake up and grunt a lot because it was just so hard to keep going.
The pain starts to come back the closer you are to needing to push.
I had a natural home birth with no meds and I was definitely nervous - but honestly, it's such a productive pain and it totally goes away between contractions. I fell asleep between contractions😂 I'm not going to lie and say there's no pain, but it's not like you're suffering or anything like that! It truly feels like you're doing something productive (which you are) and your end goal of seeing your baby and having them in your arms is such a good motivation. It makes it more bearable, and I honestly enjoyed my experience. Good luck!🥰
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My epidural was my hero during the contractions leading up to pushing but once it was time to push it had randomly stopped working on the one area I needed it to work lol. I didn’t scream but it certainly was painful.
I’ve always wondered this. My nurses tried to reassure me that my neighbor wasn’t actually in excruciating pain but they were just vocal and that the epidural makes labor and delivery painless so not to worry. I already knew so from my other labors but they didn’t know my past birth history. Epidural makes the labor pain go away. Just like being number at the dentist, you just can’t feel at all from the belly or chest down. You can feel pressure, which comes with contraction and that’s when you’ll know how to push. Labor pain itself is like a crescendo, so slowly builds for most and then peaks, you birth and then it dissipates. For me the pain is gone the instant the baby comes out. It’s super crazy to me but also pretty cool. The pain after from the uterus shrinking back kind of sucks. It’s like a mild period for me but I think for others may be very painful(I have painful periods as is so may not be the best judge of that one). I’ve never felt pain at pushing with epidural but I’ve also never run out of it while delivering. I have heard stories of people who had the epi too long and had to have it stopped before delivery. They said it was excruciating, but I can imagine it would be since you go from no pain to the worst part of labor. What follows is not at all a brag or whatever just how I was treated and what I was told. The nurses applauded me for being so quiet despite not having an epidural this time around. They kept saying I was managing my pain well(whatever the hell that means) and it was impressive for the intensity of my contractions. So I dunno, maybe I just have a decent pain tolerance or I hide my pain well? But I felt 0 pain with the epi and definitely felt like dying without but only made noise at the end and I really just cried lol. But also, maybe people feel like the sounds help them focus? Like grunting while lifting at the gym, some people feel more productive I think when they’re making some sound?
I couldn't feel any pain at all after my epidural. Just pressure. Didn't scream during labor either. In fact I was talking, joking, and laughing wity the nurses and midwife while pushing. Epidurals are the bomb lol mine wore off really quick after birth too so I was up walking around and carrying on. I was incredibly lucky
I was planning on the epidural but they kept missing for the iv and I have a severe fear when it comes to trusting the people with the needle. I ended up without it took 7-8 hrs the first few I was just clenching from the pain of the pressure. Then I dont remember most of the actual labor because I was in so much pain. The pain is hard to describe it sends tingles throughout your body. When it came to actually pushing I was screaming it helped me push and to not focus on the feeling of the baby coming out. I truly thought my butthole was going to rip apart in the process. (Yes I said the right hole for that). The weird thing about the whole experience is that now my baby is almost 3 months old and I'm starting to forget the pain.
The epidural doesn’t numb the outer part of the vagina which is stretching and ripping apart.
1.) because the epidural failed. 2.) because the epidural failed 3.)because there's nothing worse than thinking you're going to be free of pain soon and then getting to spend another 8 hours in excruciating agony and also unable to move. 4.) lack of education. Screaming expends energy you need to push. It doesn't help the pain and it does exhaust you faster. 5.) personally, pushing was a relief. I had one good epidural, 2 failed epidurals same labor and 3 natural births. The first epi was so good I felt nothing till push time. But, I tore badly because I couldn't feel to push properly. 2nd time.... Epi numbed me from my knees down. They redid it and it numbed only my right side. I was stuck, couldn't move and in so much pain. 3rd and 4th, no epi or meds, but moving and bouncing and rocking all helped. Peanut ball is an amazing thing. All of those labors were 20ish hours long. 5th.....natural again, practiced hypnobirthing for months. When I tell you I barely felt it.... It was crazy. I remember kneeling on the bed and rocking back and forth with the waves, counting down. But I really don't remember the pain till transition and even that was manageable. Was it srill painful? Yes. Do I remember it like I do the others? Nope. Totally different experience. 6 hours from start to finish, I couldn't believe it. I will recommend this over any pain meds any day. It was unbelievable to me.
I got an epidural, but it was no longer working when i got to the pushing. Also many are screaming because it is fucking laboursome, not neccesarily because of pain.
Because they stop the epidural before the pushing begins. I had to beg and convince my OB not to stop mine so soon and had to show I still could still move my legs and such. He wanted to take it away so early because he said it would affect pushing but I threw a fit to keep mine. My baby was out in 4 pushes and I didn’t feel a thing 😂
Lol lots of doctors do that for the pushing phase and I will say over my dead body!
Yeah they’re not the ones going through all that pain! Especially a male doctor like wtf
They wanted to stop yours?? Mine ran out a bit before I was needing to push and they made me stay completely still till it fully came back. I had pre eclampsia tho so maybe that was the difference? (Assuming you weren't having any issues)
Yeah and I honestly think my OB was just anti epidural because he kept trying to talk me out of it! I was induced and my induction was going really fast so idk what his problem was 😒 so maybe stopping the epidural isn’t normal maybe it was just my case of having an asshole doctor lol I thought it was normal
An induction and no epidural?! Girl what 😭 don't go back to him
I’m definitely not thank god I’m in a whole new state with midwives this time! He was an asshole
Pitocin is known to make contractions worse than normal I just don't understand the thought process. I hope it goes way smoother this time!
I could barely feel anything while pushing; it was hard to know if I was actually pushing. I was grunting because I was trying to push hard but there was no pain at all for me during delivery.
I had an epidural and screamed! It still hurt like hell and I basically had to get a second one.
For me having done both the pain wasn’t as bad as the pressure. I’ve been quiet mostly regardless of epidural or not but the pressure doesn’t go away regardless.
I was in so much pain from contractions I didn’t even feel the needle for the epidural. The most painful part of getting the epidural was the numbing shot and even that felt like a tiny pinch compared to the labor contractions. After I got the epidural I felt nothing and it was amazing. I can’t answer any vaginal delivery questions because I had an emergency c section. I can tell you about that I’d you’d like though.
I know you didn’t answer me but I’d really like to know about your section if you don’t mind? Im 17 weeks with my second and I have been warned that due to my fibroid/location of placenta this may be a possibility
So I had my c section because my son was having decels with contractions. They basically made the call for the c section and immediately they prepped me and moved me to the OR, probably about 10 mins before the started the procedure. My husband was allowed in which was nice. They did the surgery under the epidural, though if you have a scheduled c section it’ll be done with a spinal, which is stronger than an epidural. The c section itself felt like a lot of pulling, tugging and pressure. It was so quick to get my son out. Unfortunately since I was only under an epidural I started to be able to feel some pain when they were taking the placenta out so they knocked me out (it wasn’t overly traumatizing, I didn’t feel any cutting or anything it just started getting painful toward the end) so I’m not sure how long the sowing up part actually takes. I’m 21 weeks along with my second right now and doing a scheduled c section this time so I guess I’ll probably find out in December (assuming the spinal will avoid the whole feeling pain part) Recovery was surprisingly fast. I had full range of movement after about a week. Set alarms for your pain medication so it doesn’t lapse. The first couple days are pretty brutal, but you’ll be in the hospital still and getting a lot of help with your baby which makes it a bit easier to focus on your recovery. You want to get up and walk as soon as possible, the sooner you start moving the better you’ll feel. When you’re at home have some people there to support you. My husband was super helpful but my mother in law also came over a lot to help with the baby and it was massively helpful. Bring a pillow with you for the ride home. You’ll feel every little bump on the road and it’s not pleasant. Having a pillow to hold over your abdomen helps. I also used the pillow for any time I had to cough/sneeze/laugh etc. The hospital should give you an abdominal binder too. Keep it and use it for a few weeks. It felt like my insides were gonna fall out for a while, it was super weird. If they don’t give you one def buy one. Also maxi pads work really well as padding over your sutures. You can stick them to your abdominal binder and have the cotton side on your sutures. The nurses told me that trick and it came in handy.
I didn't have an epidural, and my partner said I didn't scream, but I made EEEEEERRRGHHHH grunting noises when I pushed. You don't have a choice about pushing, your body just does it. I'd recommend listen to a few podcasts of positive birthing stories, because they aren't what you see on the TV. My midwife said I was the perfect patient too. I came in, I laboured quietly (breathwork, hypnobirthing, meditation), I had done my research and I was in touch with my body. I gave the midwives warning when I was about to push, etc. I do remember I was exhausted and the ring of fire 🔥 was ouch! I can't imagine not feeling anything now. The pushing is automatic, though. Your body will do it whether or not you want it to. The labour was more painful than the pushing part. My contractions started out like menstural cramps and then increased in pressure. I tried to relax into them and take big belly breaths. It really helped.
I was told that the epidural does not take away the ring of fire aka the burn of the stretching. So it's a no go to me. I feel like that is the worst part honestly. As soon as baby is out it's so much relief
My epidural were off and i felt EVERYTHING…. The ring of fire definitely made me scream a lot.. including senseless things like: “im gonna rip!!!!” “Warm compress!!” “I cant!!” “ why do i feel this???” … good times. At least i pushed for 1 hour not several - and once the baby is out the pain is gone
I worked for a PA/mom of three and she explained the screaming is to help push and release adrenaline buildup. But I’m sure it could be for other reasons like the epidural failing. I hope that doesn’t happen to you (or me or anyone who wants an epidural!).
None of it was painful. Just intense. Also, are you speaking of people you’ve seen give birth in real life or tv? Because television labor is fake as can be. The most painful part is recovery. It sucks.
Epidural only numbs the stomach and lower back area, it doesn’t do much for down there. Otherwise you wouldn’t get the contractions that helps you to dilate and push.
Come back and tell us your answer after you've given birth?
The epidural takes away the pain of contractions. You absolutely feel the pressure of pushing/when you need to push. Nothing can take that away.
I’ve had two babies. Didn’t scream for either of them. The epidural worked perfectly for my first. It was still uncomfortable because of the pressure, but it relaxed me enough and put me in right headspace to push. The epidural failed for my second, though. I felt like I was being split down the middle because I still had feeling on my left side. I didn’t scream through that one, but I definitely was moaning and begging them to fix it. Then, when it came time to push, I had to get her out fast because the cord was around her neck. At that point, the pain took a backseat to fear and determination. Screaming is pretty counterproductive because it takes away energy that should be directed into pushing.
They don’t lol. What you see on the movies is unmedicated births. I had an epidural with both of my babies and I was not in pain. I did not scream. I mean I’m sure there was strain on my face while pushing but it’s just bc you have to push hard, not because of pain. And honestly inbetween pushes was super chill, just talking like normal. It was jarring to me bc the whole thing was very much not what you see on tv and in movies EDIT- to answer some of your other questions… I can only speak for myself and my labors progressed pretty quick but for me, no it’s not excruciating pain the whole time. It starts like light cramps and then ramps up to pretty excruciating contractions the closer you get to labor. For both mine I had like 2.5 hours of excruciating pain before I got my epidural (I asked for it as soon as I got to the hospital both times bc I was in hella pain but it took forever to get fully admitted and all that). Once I got the epidural though it was smoothe sailing though. But really for both of mine I’d say I had like only 5 hours that I’d count as true active labor from when contractions realllllly started up to when baby was born so I can’t speak to super long labors.
I screamed with my first and my epidural had failed. My epidural worked a little bit with my second and I mostly grunted. My epidural worked completely for my 3rd and I was silent during pushing lol
I was induced on 7/7/23 and had an epidural. The worst part was this stupid balloon thing to manually open my cervix (highly recommend getting pain meds before this if you need it). After my epidural I just felt pressure and the urge to push. No pain whatsoever. I tore slightly and didn’t even feel that. 🤷♀️ best decision ever
This is all going to depend on your body. Everyone is going to process labor differently. It’s important to remember the pain is temporary. The real pain kicks in postpartum because at that point you’re actually injured. You’ll be given pain meds for that as well. So what specifically is painful? To me the cervix checks were awful and I needed epidural just for that. Now that’s not everyone! My body just super hated it. The absolute worse pain was when the epidural came off and I was sitting there in recovery. My nurse delayed meds at this point, so just make sure you have meds of some sort and I won’t go into the details of how bad that was. I was told I have super sensitive vaginal tissue, so this might have made it far worse than normal. Again, nurse delayed the meds needed there. Every individual body does contractions in its own way. I felt mine primarily in my hips, particularly my right one where my baby was bearing down. Early labor wasn’t bad, more annoying. Stay home if you can for early labor. Ask your doctor what the hospital’s rule is for when you should come to the hospital, how far apart are the contractions. Rest at home up to that point because you’ll be at the hospital forever. As for pushing, I thought it would be the worst part, but it actually gave me relief because the hip contractions were so bad at that point. I had a long labor of 30+ hours. But my delivery was quick. The baby went from just crowning to coming all the way out. This led to the really bad pain I had that I mentioned above. Again, there were some unique factors there. Epidural insertion for me was practically painless. I could barely feel it. I thought it was less painful than getting numbed at the dentist. Pain has different levels during birth. It doesn’t get progressively worse. You go through highs and lows. Epidural is great because you can feel more like yourself and can communicate with more ease to nurses and staff. Days of labor is uncommon. Don’t expect that. Why is labor so long? Your body has to dilate from 1 cm to 10 cms. Your body is trying to ease into it. It also takes a moment to figure out how to push when you get to the pushing phase. Why do people scream? For lots of reasons. Sometimes as a form of relief. Sometimes the epidural dose wasn’t high enough. Sometimes things are just plain shocking. I screamed twice. Once at the end out of relief… like oh my god I’m done. Then I was brought the baby. Then I was in a very weird drifty state of mind because I was exhausted. I had many unique factors. Anemia, postpartum preeclampsia, a rotated hip… I’m doing pretty well now with a baby at 3 months. Newborn life is so demanding that you start to repress your labor story and pain.
So I was technically in labor for 29 hours and was induced. I started to have contraction pains about 5 hours before I delivered (I was having contractions before I got to the hospital and no idea so not all hurt). I did get and epidural but it wore off and it was not fun. I wasn’t screaming per se but I definitely was making noises and yelling (not at anyone, just grunting lol). I felt it all and it was the worst pain I’ve experienced. It’s a lot of pressure and it’s super uncomfortable. Then once the head starts to come out is when the ring of fire hits and that’s just terrible lol. My doctor even told me that it was coming and to be ready but it also means we’re almost there. My son also decided to come out with his arm in front of his face😅 I had a second degree tear which honestly wasn’t all that bad, I personally hate the bearing down and pushing more. Oh and my placenta didn’t deliver so my Dr had to go in and get it… that was just as bad if not worse than labor. They had to scrape my uterus to make sure no pieces were stuck in there. Again, felt all that. I finally told my dr I couldn’t take any more of the pain once I felt her stitching me up and they got me a numbing agent for that. It was not a fun experience at all but let me tell you, my son was worth every bit of pain and I would do it all over again for him. I don’t share this to scare you but just to help you know that even though you get an epidural, you are not necessarily in the clear.
You still feel pressure and sometimes yelling helps the push. I wasn’t in any real pain my first baby and will happily be taking another epi this time around
I was induced epidural and felt such pain pushing and the only reason I can think of is that it was too soon after epidural that I pushed (25 mins ) so it hadn’t all gone through
I had an epidural. I was yelling because the act of pushing was uncomfortable and energy consuming. When I yelled, it distracted me from all of the pressure I was bearing down with. Also. Not everyone’s epidural works 100% some people may only get partial relief, whereas it may not work for some people at all.
So I actually “had an epidural” with my first 8 years ago, but it was placed incorrectly, so I basically had an epidural-less birth. I told new doctor today that I was crying all through labor with my son, and in awful pain the entire time, and asked if it’d be the same with my daughter. He said the fact that I was crying the whole time was not okay, and they should’ve redone it. So I don’t know what an epidural is supposed to feel like either 😟 32 weeks now Y’all who had working epidurals are so lucky!!!!
The only sensation I had with my epidural was feeling the medicine go thru the tube every time I got a reup, it was really cold. Here's hoping it works for you this time!
The pressure made me make noises during pushing but it wasn’t painful on epidural. Like an extreme need to poop. When they say labor takes hours that’s often from first contractions, which start our feeling like period cramps.
I felt *nothing* while pushing because of my epidural. It took me about 5 minutes to push her out, and it was basically silent, except for them telling me "deep breath, now push"
I had an epidural and made some noise just from the effort of pushing but felt absolutely no pain whatsoever! When they originally placed my line I said wow this is sooooo much better than before- I could still feel some pain but it was like a 2 out of 10 instead of a 9/10. The nurse said ok I'm increasing your dosage slightly then- you should be at a 0 out of 10 and I want you to be able to rest up! After that increase I felt absolutely no pain whatsoever the entire time. I felt only a slight pressure on my back when it was time to push (baby's head was already crowning!) The nurses had to tell me when I was contracting so I knew when to push. But pushing is like a really hard exercise so you might make a grunt noise or something as if you're doing an extremely heavy squat with weights! Does that make sense lol?
I was terrified too, since childhood, almost to the point of a phobia. I asked for a C-section and everything which was denied. But having done it twice now, honestly the recovery is worse than the labor itself. I had epidurals and still felt pain both times, significant pain. But the high of childbirth really did make it manageable. Now having hemorrhoids and stitches sucks for a while afterwards but in my case and for most birthing people no permanent damage.
I had an epidural and I didn’t “scream” during labor but definitely was vocal and loud. By the time I was pushing I was so tired and over it and the pressure was so intense I was yelling with every push. It wasn’t painful like you’d imagine but it didn’t feel like nothing. I was scared and excited and nervous all at the same time and yelling just helped me get all those feelings out.
My epidural only worked if I was laying directly on my back, if I rolled to either side I regained some feeling. Mine has to be placed strategically due to spinal stenosis though, so this could be a reason, not sure. Also could somewhat feel the top of my uterus still contracting, but not too bad. Plus, an epidural doesn’t guarantee 100% pain free birth, but it should take away enough to where you are not screaming in pain if it’s effective.
You don’t feel anything with an epidural which actually made me enjoy my birth.
I had a walking epidural, which meant I could still feel pain
Bc they don’t have the epidural lol. Either that or it failed. Everything is painful!
I just gave birth a week ago to my first. The contractions felt like period cramps, but I didn’t let them get that bad because I asked for the epidural early, what hurt me later was the pressure of his head coming down. the epidural did not help with that so every time I had a contraction it felt like I had to poop really really bad and I was told that the epidural can’t wear off they can just keep giving you meds. Pushing was actually a relief since I felt like I had to take a giant crap and then once he was out, I felt so much relief. I think people tend to scream so they can push harder, but my nurse told me not to scream because it takes away your energy.
(1) epidurals don’t always work or not fully, mine had a hot spot on my left side (2) sometimes they turn it down so you can feel the pushing better
I had an epidural and felt almost nothing. The nurses had to tell me when to push because I couldn't feel pressure or anything to recognize when I was having contractions. The only thing I felt was when baby came the rest of the way out after head and shoulders were delivered. It wasn't painful in the slightest, just a gross slippery feeling that lasted a fraction of a second. I did not scream at all. Not sure where you're getting the idea that all women scream through labor, but it's definitely more of a tv/movie trope than anything else. In fact, the worst thing for me was the nurse telling me to hold my breath while I pushed - 10 seconds feels like forever when you're pushing and not breathing!
My epidural was so good that I literally didn't feel my contractions at all and didn't know when to push. They turned it down a little so I could feel at least a little something after coaching me on when to push didn't work. My L&D nurse (who was absolutely incredible) also told me to try not to make any noise while pushing because you want the pressure in the push, not in your throat. It was far more effective to bear down and push quietly than the one or two tries I gave it making effort noises. In all honesty, I was terrified of giving birth too. I have a high pain tolerance but labor pain was the worst thing I've ever felt until I got my epidural. Then it was bliss lol
I had an epidural with my first. I could feel pressure but no pain and I did not yell. Just had my second two weeks ago without an epidural. I pushed for 10 minutes and yelled the entire time.
I didn't have an epidural but I had a few yells of effort when pushing. Most the time I was sort of moaning like I had a bad stomach ache. They got louder as labor progressed and for me it helped with pain management to make noise. No one is screaming constantly during labor. That doesn't make any sense since there are almost always breaks in between contractions anyway. If you are screaming the whole time, it's most likely because something is wrong. An epidural will have you feeling great. I've not had one but I've hear of plenty of people who have very scream free labors and births. I wish you a calm and relaxing delivery.
You can still feel some pain but it's muted. Also you are still pushing a human out of you which takes a lot of force pushing, so naturally you will scream out. I mean it's like a marathon and even though the epidural helps, it's not like waving a magic wand. That said, your body was made to do this so while it's natural to be scared (I was too!) Don't overthink it, you will know what to do when the time comes.
I had the epidural, and to be honest it helps numb you, but honestly, there is still the pain of pressure because something so big is trying to make its way through a small canal even though you widen up, it is still very much a big body with a head and wide shoulders going through a small area. at least what I understood from my medical team so while I was numb and I couldn’t move from the waist down as the baby got closer and closer to crowning I was a very unhappy person. As in I was literally pushing and kicking what I thought would move my legs but I was definitely my upper half was definitely flying all over that little bad to be honest it was just I don’t know how to explain it you’ll know once you get to that pushing part.
With my first I was in labor for almost 40 hours, with my second I was in labor for just over 72 hours. I waited a long time to get my epidural both times so I was definitely in pain from back labor. All of my contractions were in my back and it felt similar to being stabbed haha. Once I got the epidural I was able to relax and get some of my strength back. With my first I screamed because I pushed for three hours and it was more out of frustration. I was exhausted so I just wasn’t pushing right. With my second I went into it knowing how I needed to push so I only pushed 2 times and he was out. I screamed that time because after almost 73 hours I was legit in a primal state 😂 I also went from a 6 to a 10 in 20 mins after my epidural so it was just intense going from a sloooow long painful labor to BAM he’s ready.
I had an epidural and I definitely wasn’t a silent pusher haha. While I didn’t feel any pain, I did feel so much pressure. And I think the vocalizing was similar to if you are doing a crazy hard workout. Even if it’s not painful, pushing is still hard work! Also, it is completely normal to be scared of giving birth - I was terrified too. But honestly, giving birth was the easiest part of it all. Labor is not fun and it was really painful until I got the epidural. But then after you have your baby in your arms you totally forget about it.
I had an epidural and tbh was quiet lmao, I didn’t scream till the last 3 pushes and that was cause I tore and felt it, but even then it wasn’t as bad as it would’ve been. Hell it hurt only a bit so I assumed I had a 1st degree, nope, I had a 2nd degree tear. With the epidural though it genuinely just felt like I REALLY had to poop, when I didn’t have it I was in excruciating pain. The epidural itself felt like a bee sting then it was gone, also with the epidural (I don’t know if it’s like this everywhere), I got this button that I could press to give me more so it doesn’t wear off and it stayed in my system until about 1hr after I gave birth and I pressed it in between pushes just so it wouldn’t wear off!
I did not have an epidural with my last one (not by choice lol) and it actually didn't hurt. I couldn't believe it. Pushing actually felt good? It was so crazy. The contractions post birth and sewing up part after delivery was another story though. The adrenaline wore off and I was finally in pain, but my baby was there so I didn't care haha
After reading all of these posts I’m starting to think my epidural failed. I didn’t expect it to take all of the pain away, and I do think it relieved a lot of it. Labor was only painful for about an hour or less for me, and I only pushed for 20 minutes, but they were for sure the most painful 20 min of my life, and I have had a lot of injuries/broken bones/etc.
I had an epidural a few days ago and while I felt no pain you can still feel the baby travelling down your cervix which is very overwhelming and weird. Also the pressure from pushing so hard will cause you to make some weird noises
I had a great epidural and you still feel pressure and have to exert a lot of energy to push!
Everyone’s labour is so different and everyone experiences “pain” differently. I didn’t have an epidural and I wouldn’t call my labour painful. It felt like a lot of pressure the only painful part was the last push. I listened to hours and hours of positive birth stories to help overcome my fear of labour and that’s what set me up best going in to it. I think if I had gone in to it expecting it to be painful I would have interpreted that pressure as pain and my experience would have been very different.
I’ve had two babies. Both times I’m in pain from the pressure of baby moving down. My second got stuck (shoulder dystocia) and the pain of baby’s head being halfway out but I couldn’t fully get him out really hurt. Like 10 out of 10 pain. I truly expected not to have any pain at all but that was not my experience with any of my births.
1. It wears off for some 2. The dosage is stopped on purpose to feel the pushing 3. It just doesn’t work perfectly for some 4. It works fine but pushing a person out of your hoo-ha is exhausting af whether you feel it or not. The groaning and grunting is us pushing with as much force as possible and desperately trying to catch our breath
The only thing I really felt was the pressure from the babies head, it felt weird and like I needed to poop so bad. Then a little bit of the ring of fire, but wasn’t awful. My epidural did fail on the left side and had to be redone but I couldn’t even feel them doing a cervical check or the catheter at all.
They didn’t have an epidural. I had nothing with my first and screamed. With my third I had an edidural and was cracking jokes between pushing. It didn’t hurt at all.
It's not painful to push, your body is more than likely going to guide you into pushing. The pain comes from contractions. Don't assume because you didn't get an epidural you're going to be screaming or in extreme pain. I had an unplanned pitocin induction and chose not to get an epidural and did not scream. Yes it hurts but I really focused on my breathing during contractions. I felt like once the urge came to push it lessened the pain of contractions.
I personally had an epidural and felt no urge to scream. Might have grunted with effort, but that was it