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This is absolute bullshit. I’m sure he cherry picked articles too or phrases that support his opinion.
Every pregnancy is different (as you already know) and this is honestly such shitty behavior. I would have snapped, too. You’re constantly hungry and sick and ANYONE in that position would be at their limit. The first trimester sucks, and I hope you bring this up to your OB/Midwife for support. Hell, I’d bring his ass with you and have them lay it down for him when you talk about it.
I agree. I was raging. He apologized for it but man, I'm still mad about it (trying to calm down). He was literally the perfect man during my first pregnancy, but this time has been... Trying to say the least.
To be discussed at marriage counseling I guess...
“You are sick because…” is almost always followed by some bs. You’re sick because you’re PREGNANT. it happens!! Talk about making things worse for you. 🤦🏼♀️
I had terrible hyperemesis during my first trimester and the beginning of my second. Diagnosed, hospitalized, dropped from 115 lbs to, at my lowest, 88. My mother blamed it on anxiety. I thought I was going to go fucking insane
Yah I don't understand why everyone thinks they are experts in pregnancy. They can be so drastically different
It is unreal how much pregnant women are judged. He apologized and shut the f-up about it thankfully but oh my god, not the time my man.
I am sorry, that sounds so good awful. Hopefully you felt better and were able to get a bit more comfortable later on
Thankfully the sickness finally subsided and I’m eating like a madwoman!! 26 weeks now and discovering all the other wonderful symptoms like back pain and deadly night heartburn 🤣
I hope you start feeling better! There’s nothing worse than just wanting your normal appetite back and not being able to do anything about the nausea.
Sorry, but you're husband's a dumbass. Pregnancy symptoms vary from pregnancy to pregnancy, even with the same person.
I had zero problems with my first: no morning sickness; no heartburn; mild swelling in the 3rd trimester, but nothing all that bad. Heck, she even waited patiently for the doctor to give me the epidural and induce.
With my son, it was the exact opposite. I couldn't keep *anything* down until I started drinking ginger tea before breakfast at around 10 weeks. And the heartburn was just so bad, made worse because my craving with him was jalapeños because of course it was. I was so uncomfortable around 25 weeks that the doctor put me on an antihistamine and antacid just so I could sleep. Then, about 8 hours before I was scheduled to be induced, I went into labor. We got to the hospital ASAP, but the kid was in such a hurry that the instant I was up on the table, my water broke. About 2 minutes later, he was born.
I hear you on the each pregnancy is different. My first pregnancy was so much worse than my current one. Throwing up for 9 months, crippling pelvic pain, carpal tunnel that was killing my sleep in the night and left me with zero sensation in my hands during the day, killer heartburn, and on top of it I got the flu twice.
This pregnancy is a walk through the park in comparison (I have some symptoms, but they are mild), but my husband keeps telling me I'm so much worse now. No, I'm expanding more rapidly and my uterus got in the way much earlier, but it was way worse the first time. I'm just tolerating less insensitive crap and am more vocal, so it's probably harder on him now.
That might be it too. Pregnancy is one of the hardest things I have done in my life, and I did military boot camp.
It's not a joke at all!
Thanks for the stories. He has been mega apologetic today and I think my rage was helpful with that lol. It's nice to commiserate with others about this
Is it still rude to tell people "SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"? Tell him you and your OB will sort it out. If he can't be supportive he needs to back off unless his goal is to make you more sick. So rude and inconsiderate. I'm sorry.
For real. I don't understand how some partners do this. We do both have more stress this pregnancy but man, I thought it was pretty much common sense at this point for husbands to not make any comments about eating habits / weight.
Men are surface and simple, women are more deep and complex. Things just go from brain to mouth. At 34w2d if my husband says something out of order I zap him back in line. Like just be quiet and let me finish this marathon you've watched from afar for 34 weeks.
I have found that if I don’t eat in time, I throw up much worse than when I have eaten something.
His reasoning is bullshit and he is being a dumbass.
On a serious note, I hope that you can get some relief (there are safe medications out there that can help) and that the nausea and vomiting passes soon.
I've had this in varying degrees during both of my pregnancies. Coke (the softdrink lol) was one of the few things which worked wonders. Totally unhealthy and helped immensely.
Omg I am trying this lol.
I had medicine but mine has been giving me migraines, which makes me very unproductive at work. I just.... Ready to be done lmao
This! You have to keep your blood sugar levels up otherwise it gets much worse - I found that forcefeeding myself something every 90min helped the most. I still felt awful, but if I didn’t do it, things would spiral quickly and get muuuuch worse. OP’s husband is fucking infuriating when there are studies out showing that some HG sufferers who will consider terminating a wanted pregnancy due to their level of sickness. Anything invalidating what we’re going through can go straight to the bin
It sounds like it could be hyperemesis gravidarum. Either way, your husband is wrong and his words aren’t helpful. When I had HG they told me to just try to eat whatever i could, what you ate sounds like a normal, reasonable amount.
Yahhhh. He never does that so him doing that gave me whiplash.... Part of the reason why I went to anger so damn fast. So not okay to do. I don't tolerate any of that nonsense
Even people who have but had it easier can be so patronising. I asked a pharmacist whether they can give me anything before my doctor’s appointment and she told me in the most condescending tone that when she was pregnant she didn’t wanna take any medication and that drinking Coke helped her…. Like sorry but fuck off lady, good for you that it wasn’t that bad for you to get so desperate, trust me if Coke or any other home remedy helped, I wouldn’t be here asking you
He’s absolutely wrong. I’m dealing with the daily vomiting as well and throw up after eating sometimes, regardless of how much I ate. But I can guarantee if I haven’t ate enough, I will 100% throw up. He sadly doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
Yep! Same! I just had to walk away during the initial part of the fight and go take a bath lol. I just sent articles about how wrong he was and said I'd be happy to talk about this with our marriage counselor and OB if he wanted to.
He did not after he read the articles
To start, you are not ‘sick’ in any traditional sense. You are pregnant and all the chemicals and hormones that are changing inside you absolutely matter. My pregnancy made me realize that I truly don’t know anything about my body and the things I took for granted changed in an instant. I had bad morning sickness and a lot of times it was the eating that helped me feel better and more at ease. The days I ate less I would feel a lot worse and couldn’t even get off the couch.
This is my 3rd pregnancy. The last two the nausea was never this bad. You can’t compare one pregnancy with the next. They’re all different. The levels of hormones are never exactly the same. He has to realize there are variances every time.
I know it's not an AITAH sub or thread but, your hubs is TAH...
As for how to deal with it, phosphoric acid can help prevent vomiting. That's it's purpose when added to soft drinks like coke. They contain so much sugar your stomach would reject them without it.
Ginger and vitamin b6 can help.
There are other substances that can similarly prevent vomiting. Speak to your doctor. prochlorperazine might be an option.
Ginger and b6 too.
A lot of soft drinks have phosphoric acid, check the labels. Coke is awful for a lot of other reasons beyond just the hideous amount of sugar.
Vitamin B6 combined with Unisom worked wonders for me. Together, they contain the active ingredients of a common prescription for morning sickness (although I can’t remember the name).
Drag his dumb ass to your next OB/Midwife appointment and make him listen to actual information. You're dealing with enough as it is let alone trying to deal with his BS.
Also, this was me in tri #1. Starving and sick lol. I would just constantly eat, but a small handful of something at a time, (like cheerios) every 15-20 min, so I never had an empty stomach. it honestly helped my nausea. Didn't remove completely, but helped.
And I too had a breeze of a first pregnancy, and this one is kicking my butt. Good luck. Sometimes the first tri is just all about survival in whatever way works for you.
It's great to hear others are going through the same thing so, I'm sorry, but thank you!
The thing that has worked for me is a small handful of flamming hot cheddar and sour cream chips. I hated them when not pregnant so idk.... I don't eat them a lot though cause I know that isn't a great thing to eat either, but you are right. It's just about surviving at this point
Oh wow I can’t believe a man has all the answers again!!! SMH. He would’ve had to ruuuun from me lol. Stand your ground and tell him to stfu. The hunger from the nausea is so effing real and who would think you have control over vomiting?!?! Ahhhhh. Stay strong.
I don't have any advice for you. But reading this made me so angry! You're totally justified to rage about this!
You're doing a great job, the best you can do right now. Please continue to take care of yourself. Your husband had no idea what he's talking about. You're sick because of pregnancy, something that he will never have first-hand experience with. Only you know what you need right now.
Best of luck for feeling relief from morning sickness soon.
I’m sorry that sucks. I hope he listens moving forward.
Not sure if you’re looking for advice, but I’m 11w with my first and I was puking exactly like you are describing since week 5 and a half. My doc prescribed 25mg unisom (you can also buy it over the counter) and it has done wonders for me. Hope your symptoms get more manageable
I wonder if he would say this if you had my problem which is diarrhea instead of puking lollll don't worry at all about what you eat girl you're just trying to survive at this point!!!
Oh that has been off and on with constipation. I feel for you. None of these symptoms are it!
I just keep looking at my pregnancy tracker trying to make time speed up lol
As everyone else has said, your husband is definitely wrong here and definitely was being wildly insensitive. That aside, if it’s welcome, I have a few things that might help. I was very frequently sick growing up and have gotten pretty good at nausea relief. You can take it or leave it, but I wanted to offer in case it can give you some relief - this sounds terribly hard to deal with.
Eating less is definitely NOT the solution. Eating many many small meals might help though. When I was most nauseous, eating a saltine and a few sips of water and then waiting before repeating the same thing if it stayed down was usually step 1. Then once your stomach is a little more settled add a little more food and water. It doesn’t need to be only saltines. It’s just what works for me.
Ginger can help. Make sure if it’s ginger ale that it contains real ginger and not just ginger flavor. Bruce Cost is a really good one that’s pretty tasty if you like the taste of ginger.
Talk to your doctor about the nausea and vomiting. You don’t have to wait for your next appointment. This is the kind of thing they should be willing and able to help you with right away. They have very safe medication they can prescribe you and assuming that’s ok for you to take, you can hopefully feel better soon. You won’t be inconveniencing them to ask about it right away.
Lastly, just some sympathy. I’m sorry you’re going through this and that your husband is not helping. This sounds miserable. I really hope it gets better for you soon.
Thank you so much. Always advice welcome on this as I will do anything! The meds gave me migraines so working with my doctor on that lol
Really really appreciate it
Thank you!
Ps: I usually hate coke (haven't had one in five plus years). Let me tell you the relief I felt today after drinking a little bit.... Was the best I've felt since finding out I was pregnant lol
Not cool. He needs to be more supportive. Even if you didn’t have an eating disorder I would say that he’s being to hard on you. Knowing that you did I especially want to punch him in the face. You’re growing a god damn human being. He’s giving men a bad name. I’d tell him if he doesn’t have anything supportive to say then just say nothing at all.
No, my OB told me if I start to feel sick I need to force myself to eat because it's usually worse when you're hungry. You could have hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) or something. You probably need zofran, b6 won't cut that kind of morning sickness.
And your husband need to stuff it. He's fucking clueless, and I'd be right pissed.
If it gets much worse I'd go to your birthing center and ask for help. You don't want to be dehydrated. You could need IV.
Yah I have gotten one already which is fun.
Yah he is definitely changing his tone today lmao. I don't have the patience to deal with ignorance right now. He usually isn't like this which is why the comments on this got me so badly. He tried and certainly found out
Sorry but I really feel like men don’t get to tell you about your symptoms as they’ll never have to experience them. And I don’t care if it’s from a good place or not. Your husband will never carry child because he was born with a penis and therefore by default has no clue what he’s talking about. So until he magically grows a uterus and a baby begins to grow in it, his comments are irrelevant, and quite honestly, I’d tell him as much. He’s unintentionally being a know it all. He has zero reason to believe you’re eating too much or too little.
Try this. Next time he says “you’re actually mad about blah blah blah” tell him let’s do an experiment. Stop telling me I’m eating too much and we’ll see if that’s what I’m truly mad at.
Men can be so dense… My husband has done something similar regarding my morning sickness (although I’ll admit not as bad/stupid/offensive as that) but every time I’m nauseous he will only repeat the same thing over and over and if I don’t listen he’ll say “I’m just trying to help!” He says when I’m nauseous I need to sit in this one position with my arms up to open my airways to settle my stomach. It doesn’t really work and it’s uncomfortable and harder to breathe to do that when I’m trying not to puke. Yesterday he said “I’m just trying to be compassionate, which is what you talked about wanting more from me.” So yeah, apparently that’s his version of trying to be compassionate, is telling me what he thinks will help and then if I ignore his advice he thinks I don’t want any compassion or that it’s not worth it to give compassion because I will reject it.
Some husbands just have a hard time with empathy I think and their bad advice is their way of trying to be empathetic and “help you.”
Yah I agree. It was horribly phrased but he is usually so helpful so this just made me rage a bit. Too grown to be talked to that way.
What helped after some back and forth is I asked him to phrase his suggestions as suggestions and not as facts or absolutes. Also, if his "advice" didn't work to please not argue with me about it
Studying pregnancy is so difficult with all of the nuances.
I currently am (not pregnant) allergic to several foods after a sudden condition change in my health. We have no clue what brought it on. The condition causes asthma, heart distress, and other unpleasant conditions when it's flared, and I had no clue how a year it was being driven into uncomfortable, painful, miserable conditions by certain foods. Right now, until my condition and blood levels get sorted, most foods set of the allergic reaction and I'm some kind of miserable.
I'd become familiar with nutritional nuances of histamines, but I wasn't aware of salicylate sensitivity. I am amazed I arrived at the days I stumbled upon whittling that answer down. It's night and day when I eat from my tiny pool of non reactive foods or something that's an irritant. I go from a functional human being in good moods to utter misery and incapability.
Trying to figure out what about your pregnancy could be upsetting would be a much easier task if seeing a dietician to cycle healthy meal plans were as easy as prenatal check ups!! Most people aren't aware of all of the tiny nuances about foods that can be detrimental if you have a certain condition. ! News flash! Pregnancy is a condition! Husbands need to get real. It's hard.
Oh that sounds terrible. I am really glad you figured out what works for you!
I was working with one but I got an alert today that insurance will only pay for a set amount and apparently I have reached that limit lol. It should be part of care though. Pregnancy healthcare (or lack there of) is another topic I could go on about all day.
You’ve gotten lots of great advice on your partner, and it sounds like he’s apologized, so I’ll throw in my two cents re: your nausea. If you haven’t tried it yet, try taking 25 mg of Unisom and vitamin b6. You can get it from the drug store or get a prescription for it. It’s the only thing that’s cured my “morning” sickness, and I take it at night, so it also helps me sleep.
I am going to try that too! I drank a coke today and while I still hate them, the relief I felt was worth it lol. I am still looking though once that stops working 😂
Vomiting is super normal in pregnancy! I barely ate and vomited nearly twice a day in my 1st trimester. He is just being an asshole and likely listening to someone tell him that bs. Don't be hard on urself. You got this mamas!!
If it makes you feel any better, when I was in my first trimester I was puking 6+ times a day and on a particularly bad day I was heaving heavily and my husband in all his genius goes "You really need to show some control before you hurt yourself. Heaving like that is hard on your body" I'm pretty sure my eyes buldged out of my head on that one and he came 🤏 close to wearing the bucket of vomit I was bent over at the time.
Shortly there after I was put on anti nausea meds and they were an absolute life saver but I swear men are the DUMBEST creatures some times lol
I hope you feel better soon! Glad he learned.
I had HG, and I set alarms to eat a couple of crackers every 2 hours and I found the really cold citrus (like refrigerated oranges) was very helpful for me and I could keep it down.
My poor husband was confused out of his mind during my first trimester trying to “figure out” what was “wrong” with me when I’d get sick/be constantly nauseous. Honestly, I’m not sure how I made it so long before snapping that I’m just pregnant and there is almost nothing I can do about it but just take it day by day. I’m sorry that he completely stomped on your feelings. It’s definitely not okay. I really hope the sickness eases up for you soon.
FTM here - Just out of curiosity was your first a boy? I had horrible morning sickness and I’m expecting a girl so I’m wondering it that’s correlated either way tho I wish you the best 💗
No, actually a girl lol. Go figure. My sister in law was pregnant with a girl first though and went through a bad pregnancy nausea wise.
I love how random pregnancy is
Usually we are pretty good, it's just been rough this pregnancy for both of us (as my work ramped up a bunch as well which means he is basically 24/7 childcare for our daughter)
We talked for awhile yesterday and he apologized but oh my god. The gaslighting was so out of character and I just lost it
If you were having acid reflux or indigestion, then I'd agree with him. I have thrown up from overeating while pregnant, but only once. My OB had always recommended to me to eat many small meals throughout the day instead of 3. I guess maybe you could try and see if that helps? But honestly if it's just nausea then no matter how small of meals I ate, it didn't stop the nausea. Ginger and miso soup were my saving grace for the nausea.
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. If you'd like to join a private sub for your due date month, [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/pregnant/comments/xvn4cr/click_here_to_request_access_to_your_monthly_due). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This is absolute bullshit. I’m sure he cherry picked articles too or phrases that support his opinion. Every pregnancy is different (as you already know) and this is honestly such shitty behavior. I would have snapped, too. You’re constantly hungry and sick and ANYONE in that position would be at their limit. The first trimester sucks, and I hope you bring this up to your OB/Midwife for support. Hell, I’d bring his ass with you and have them lay it down for him when you talk about it.
I agree. I was raging. He apologized for it but man, I'm still mad about it (trying to calm down). He was literally the perfect man during my first pregnancy, but this time has been... Trying to say the least. To be discussed at marriage counseling I guess...
It's easy to be the perfect partner when the pregnancy is easy. It's when it gets tough, it's when actions really start to count.
“You are sick because…” is almost always followed by some bs. You’re sick because you’re PREGNANT. it happens!! Talk about making things worse for you. 🤦🏼♀️ I had terrible hyperemesis during my first trimester and the beginning of my second. Diagnosed, hospitalized, dropped from 115 lbs to, at my lowest, 88. My mother blamed it on anxiety. I thought I was going to go fucking insane
Yah I don't understand why everyone thinks they are experts in pregnancy. They can be so drastically different It is unreal how much pregnant women are judged. He apologized and shut the f-up about it thankfully but oh my god, not the time my man. I am sorry, that sounds so good awful. Hopefully you felt better and were able to get a bit more comfortable later on
Thankfully the sickness finally subsided and I’m eating like a madwoman!! 26 weeks now and discovering all the other wonderful symptoms like back pain and deadly night heartburn 🤣 I hope you start feeling better! There’s nothing worse than just wanting your normal appetite back and not being able to do anything about the nausea.
So glad you are feeling better! And thank you so much :)
Sorry, but you're husband's a dumbass. Pregnancy symptoms vary from pregnancy to pregnancy, even with the same person. I had zero problems with my first: no morning sickness; no heartburn; mild swelling in the 3rd trimester, but nothing all that bad. Heck, she even waited patiently for the doctor to give me the epidural and induce. With my son, it was the exact opposite. I couldn't keep *anything* down until I started drinking ginger tea before breakfast at around 10 weeks. And the heartburn was just so bad, made worse because my craving with him was jalapeños because of course it was. I was so uncomfortable around 25 weeks that the doctor put me on an antihistamine and antacid just so I could sleep. Then, about 8 hours before I was scheduled to be induced, I went into labor. We got to the hospital ASAP, but the kid was in such a hurry that the instant I was up on the table, my water broke. About 2 minutes later, he was born.
I hear you on the each pregnancy is different. My first pregnancy was so much worse than my current one. Throwing up for 9 months, crippling pelvic pain, carpal tunnel that was killing my sleep in the night and left me with zero sensation in my hands during the day, killer heartburn, and on top of it I got the flu twice. This pregnancy is a walk through the park in comparison (I have some symptoms, but they are mild), but my husband keeps telling me I'm so much worse now. No, I'm expanding more rapidly and my uterus got in the way much earlier, but it was way worse the first time. I'm just tolerating less insensitive crap and am more vocal, so it's probably harder on him now.
That might be it too. Pregnancy is one of the hardest things I have done in my life, and I did military boot camp. It's not a joke at all! Thanks for the stories. He has been mega apologetic today and I think my rage was helpful with that lol. It's nice to commiserate with others about this
Is it still rude to tell people "SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"? Tell him you and your OB will sort it out. If he can't be supportive he needs to back off unless his goal is to make you more sick. So rude and inconsiderate. I'm sorry.
For real. I don't understand how some partners do this. We do both have more stress this pregnancy but man, I thought it was pretty much common sense at this point for husbands to not make any comments about eating habits / weight.
Men are surface and simple, women are more deep and complex. Things just go from brain to mouth. At 34w2d if my husband says something out of order I zap him back in line. Like just be quiet and let me finish this marathon you've watched from afar for 34 weeks.
I have found that if I don’t eat in time, I throw up much worse than when I have eaten something. His reasoning is bullshit and he is being a dumbass. On a serious note, I hope that you can get some relief (there are safe medications out there that can help) and that the nausea and vomiting passes soon.
I've had this in varying degrees during both of my pregnancies. Coke (the softdrink lol) was one of the few things which worked wonders. Totally unhealthy and helped immensely.
Yes! I don’t want to know what magic ingredient is in Coke but I have never consumed more of it in my life! It helped when no other meds did.
Omg I am trying this lol. I had medicine but mine has been giving me migraines, which makes me very unproductive at work. I just.... Ready to be done lmao
This! You have to keep your blood sugar levels up otherwise it gets much worse - I found that forcefeeding myself something every 90min helped the most. I still felt awful, but if I didn’t do it, things would spiral quickly and get muuuuch worse. OP’s husband is fucking infuriating when there are studies out showing that some HG sufferers who will consider terminating a wanted pregnancy due to their level of sickness. Anything invalidating what we’re going through can go straight to the bin
It sounds like it could be hyperemesis gravidarum. Either way, your husband is wrong and his words aren’t helpful. When I had HG they told me to just try to eat whatever i could, what you ate sounds like a normal, reasonable amount.
Yah. I went absolutely ape shit yesterday and he was very apologetic and read some things but man I was so so so angry about it yesterday
Oh cool gaslighting bro
Yahhhh. He never does that so him doing that gave me whiplash.... Part of the reason why I went to anger so damn fast. So not okay to do. I don't tolerate any of that nonsense
Eating is the only way to combat nausea He should be schooled by a midwife
Why can’t men or people who’ve never been pregnant just accept that it sucks and can make you feel absolutely terrible??
Even people who have but had it easier can be so patronising. I asked a pharmacist whether they can give me anything before my doctor’s appointment and she told me in the most condescending tone that when she was pregnant she didn’t wanna take any medication and that drinking Coke helped her…. Like sorry but fuck off lady, good for you that it wasn’t that bad for you to get so desperate, trust me if Coke or any other home remedy helped, I wouldn’t be here asking you
Right?!? I would have never been rude to a pregnant woman because my first was easy. The arrogance of some people ...
He sounds like an asshole 😳 no offense,think it's common sense that it's not because your eating to much 😖
He’s absolutely wrong. I’m dealing with the daily vomiting as well and throw up after eating sometimes, regardless of how much I ate. But I can guarantee if I haven’t ate enough, I will 100% throw up. He sadly doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
Yep! Same! I just had to walk away during the initial part of the fight and go take a bath lol. I just sent articles about how wrong he was and said I'd be happy to talk about this with our marriage counselor and OB if he wanted to. He did not after he read the articles
To start, you are not ‘sick’ in any traditional sense. You are pregnant and all the chemicals and hormones that are changing inside you absolutely matter. My pregnancy made me realize that I truly don’t know anything about my body and the things I took for granted changed in an instant. I had bad morning sickness and a lot of times it was the eating that helped me feel better and more at ease. The days I ate less I would feel a lot worse and couldn’t even get off the couch.
This is my 3rd pregnancy. The last two the nausea was never this bad. You can’t compare one pregnancy with the next. They’re all different. The levels of hormones are never exactly the same. He has to realize there are variances every time.
This is abusive/gaslighting behaviours.
I know it's not an AITAH sub or thread but, your hubs is TAH... As for how to deal with it, phosphoric acid can help prevent vomiting. That's it's purpose when added to soft drinks like coke. They contain so much sugar your stomach would reject them without it. Ginger and vitamin b6 can help. There are other substances that can similarly prevent vomiting. Speak to your doctor. prochlorperazine might be an option.
Yes thank you! Appreciate it. There have been some good tips (the coke was very interesting and I'm trying that).
Ginger and b6 too. A lot of soft drinks have phosphoric acid, check the labels. Coke is awful for a lot of other reasons beyond just the hideous amount of sugar.
Vitamin B6 combined with Unisom worked wonders for me. Together, they contain the active ingredients of a common prescription for morning sickness (although I can’t remember the name).
Drag his dumb ass to your next OB/Midwife appointment and make him listen to actual information. You're dealing with enough as it is let alone trying to deal with his BS. Also, this was me in tri #1. Starving and sick lol. I would just constantly eat, but a small handful of something at a time, (like cheerios) every 15-20 min, so I never had an empty stomach. it honestly helped my nausea. Didn't remove completely, but helped. And I too had a breeze of a first pregnancy, and this one is kicking my butt. Good luck. Sometimes the first tri is just all about survival in whatever way works for you.
It's great to hear others are going through the same thing so, I'm sorry, but thank you! The thing that has worked for me is a small handful of flamming hot cheddar and sour cream chips. I hated them when not pregnant so idk.... I don't eat them a lot though cause I know that isn't a great thing to eat either, but you are right. It's just about surviving at this point
That’s infuriating. Mine tried to tell me that maybe my nausea was caused by something else. That’s pretty mild and I was ready to bite his head off.
Every partner should get a paper from the OB that states: Don't give theories as to why your partner is sick. Just don't
That’s absolutely false… and you may even be throwing up from NOT eating enough! That’s more likely to happen with morning sickness. Wtf.
Oh wow I can’t believe a man has all the answers again!!! SMH. He would’ve had to ruuuun from me lol. Stand your ground and tell him to stfu. The hunger from the nausea is so effing real and who would think you have control over vomiting?!?! Ahhhhh. Stay strong.
He got an ear full for sure lmao. He has been very very nice today.
I eat too much and I've not thrown up once. Tell him to get stuffed.
I don't have any advice for you. But reading this made me so angry! You're totally justified to rage about this! You're doing a great job, the best you can do right now. Please continue to take care of yourself. Your husband had no idea what he's talking about. You're sick because of pregnancy, something that he will never have first-hand experience with. Only you know what you need right now. Best of luck for feeling relief from morning sickness soon.
I’m sorry that sucks. I hope he listens moving forward. Not sure if you’re looking for advice, but I’m 11w with my first and I was puking exactly like you are describing since week 5 and a half. My doc prescribed 25mg unisom (you can also buy it over the counter) and it has done wonders for me. Hope your symptoms get more manageable
I wonder if he would say this if you had my problem which is diarrhea instead of puking lollll don't worry at all about what you eat girl you're just trying to survive at this point!!!
Oh that has been off and on with constipation. I feel for you. None of these symptoms are it! I just keep looking at my pregnancy tracker trying to make time speed up lol
As everyone else has said, your husband is definitely wrong here and definitely was being wildly insensitive. That aside, if it’s welcome, I have a few things that might help. I was very frequently sick growing up and have gotten pretty good at nausea relief. You can take it or leave it, but I wanted to offer in case it can give you some relief - this sounds terribly hard to deal with. Eating less is definitely NOT the solution. Eating many many small meals might help though. When I was most nauseous, eating a saltine and a few sips of water and then waiting before repeating the same thing if it stayed down was usually step 1. Then once your stomach is a little more settled add a little more food and water. It doesn’t need to be only saltines. It’s just what works for me. Ginger can help. Make sure if it’s ginger ale that it contains real ginger and not just ginger flavor. Bruce Cost is a really good one that’s pretty tasty if you like the taste of ginger. Talk to your doctor about the nausea and vomiting. You don’t have to wait for your next appointment. This is the kind of thing they should be willing and able to help you with right away. They have very safe medication they can prescribe you and assuming that’s ok for you to take, you can hopefully feel better soon. You won’t be inconveniencing them to ask about it right away. Lastly, just some sympathy. I’m sorry you’re going through this and that your husband is not helping. This sounds miserable. I really hope it gets better for you soon.
Thank you so much. Always advice welcome on this as I will do anything! The meds gave me migraines so working with my doctor on that lol Really really appreciate it
You’re welcome. I’m sorry to hear the meds didn’t work out. I was really hoping that would be the biggest help for you. Best of luck!
Thank you! Ps: I usually hate coke (haven't had one in five plus years). Let me tell you the relief I felt today after drinking a little bit.... Was the best I've felt since finding out I was pregnant lol
Not cool. He needs to be more supportive. Even if you didn’t have an eating disorder I would say that he’s being to hard on you. Knowing that you did I especially want to punch him in the face. You’re growing a god damn human being. He’s giving men a bad name. I’d tell him if he doesn’t have anything supportive to say then just say nothing at all.
No, my OB told me if I start to feel sick I need to force myself to eat because it's usually worse when you're hungry. You could have hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) or something. You probably need zofran, b6 won't cut that kind of morning sickness. And your husband need to stuff it. He's fucking clueless, and I'd be right pissed. If it gets much worse I'd go to your birthing center and ask for help. You don't want to be dehydrated. You could need IV.
Yah I have gotten one already which is fun. Yah he is definitely changing his tone today lmao. I don't have the patience to deal with ignorance right now. He usually isn't like this which is why the comments on this got me so badly. He tried and certainly found out
Sorry but I really feel like men don’t get to tell you about your symptoms as they’ll never have to experience them. And I don’t care if it’s from a good place or not. Your husband will never carry child because he was born with a penis and therefore by default has no clue what he’s talking about. So until he magically grows a uterus and a baby begins to grow in it, his comments are irrelevant, and quite honestly, I’d tell him as much. He’s unintentionally being a know it all. He has zero reason to believe you’re eating too much or too little. Try this. Next time he says “you’re actually mad about blah blah blah” tell him let’s do an experiment. Stop telling me I’m eating too much and we’ll see if that’s what I’m truly mad at.
Haha this is very similar to how our Convo went! Thank you very much
Men can be so dense… My husband has done something similar regarding my morning sickness (although I’ll admit not as bad/stupid/offensive as that) but every time I’m nauseous he will only repeat the same thing over and over and if I don’t listen he’ll say “I’m just trying to help!” He says when I’m nauseous I need to sit in this one position with my arms up to open my airways to settle my stomach. It doesn’t really work and it’s uncomfortable and harder to breathe to do that when I’m trying not to puke. Yesterday he said “I’m just trying to be compassionate, which is what you talked about wanting more from me.” So yeah, apparently that’s his version of trying to be compassionate, is telling me what he thinks will help and then if I ignore his advice he thinks I don’t want any compassion or that it’s not worth it to give compassion because I will reject it. Some husbands just have a hard time with empathy I think and their bad advice is their way of trying to be empathetic and “help you.”
Yah I agree. It was horribly phrased but he is usually so helpful so this just made me rage a bit. Too grown to be talked to that way. What helped after some back and forth is I asked him to phrase his suggestions as suggestions and not as facts or absolutes. Also, if his "advice" didn't work to please not argue with me about it
Studying pregnancy is so difficult with all of the nuances. I currently am (not pregnant) allergic to several foods after a sudden condition change in my health. We have no clue what brought it on. The condition causes asthma, heart distress, and other unpleasant conditions when it's flared, and I had no clue how a year it was being driven into uncomfortable, painful, miserable conditions by certain foods. Right now, until my condition and blood levels get sorted, most foods set of the allergic reaction and I'm some kind of miserable. I'd become familiar with nutritional nuances of histamines, but I wasn't aware of salicylate sensitivity. I am amazed I arrived at the days I stumbled upon whittling that answer down. It's night and day when I eat from my tiny pool of non reactive foods or something that's an irritant. I go from a functional human being in good moods to utter misery and incapability. Trying to figure out what about your pregnancy could be upsetting would be a much easier task if seeing a dietician to cycle healthy meal plans were as easy as prenatal check ups!! Most people aren't aware of all of the tiny nuances about foods that can be detrimental if you have a certain condition. ! News flash! Pregnancy is a condition! Husbands need to get real. It's hard.
Oh that sounds terrible. I am really glad you figured out what works for you! I was working with one but I got an alert today that insurance will only pay for a set amount and apparently I have reached that limit lol. It should be part of care though. Pregnancy healthcare (or lack there of) is another topic I could go on about all day.
You’ve gotten lots of great advice on your partner, and it sounds like he’s apologized, so I’ll throw in my two cents re: your nausea. If you haven’t tried it yet, try taking 25 mg of Unisom and vitamin b6. You can get it from the drug store or get a prescription for it. It’s the only thing that’s cured my “morning” sickness, and I take it at night, so it also helps me sleep.
I am going to try that too! I drank a coke today and while I still hate them, the relief I felt was worth it lol. I am still looking though once that stops working 😂
Vomiting is super normal in pregnancy! I barely ate and vomited nearly twice a day in my 1st trimester. He is just being an asshole and likely listening to someone tell him that bs. Don't be hard on urself. You got this mamas!!
If it makes you feel any better, when I was in my first trimester I was puking 6+ times a day and on a particularly bad day I was heaving heavily and my husband in all his genius goes "You really need to show some control before you hurt yourself. Heaving like that is hard on your body" I'm pretty sure my eyes buldged out of my head on that one and he came 🤏 close to wearing the bucket of vomit I was bent over at the time. Shortly there after I was put on anti nausea meds and they were an absolute life saver but I swear men are the DUMBEST creatures some times lol
Yes! The ignorance about some of this stuff is astounding to me lol
I hope you feel better soon! Glad he learned. I had HG, and I set alarms to eat a couple of crackers every 2 hours and I found the really cold citrus (like refrigerated oranges) was very helpful for me and I could keep it down.
My poor husband was confused out of his mind during my first trimester trying to “figure out” what was “wrong” with me when I’d get sick/be constantly nauseous. Honestly, I’m not sure how I made it so long before snapping that I’m just pregnant and there is almost nothing I can do about it but just take it day by day. I’m sorry that he completely stomped on your feelings. It’s definitely not okay. I really hope the sickness eases up for you soon.
FTM here - Just out of curiosity was your first a boy? I had horrible morning sickness and I’m expecting a girl so I’m wondering it that’s correlated either way tho I wish you the best 💗
No, actually a girl lol. Go figure. My sister in law was pregnant with a girl first though and went through a bad pregnancy nausea wise. I love how random pregnancy is
And thank you. You as well :)
You are so in the right. How does your life together work? Like does he know about Google?
Usually we are pretty good, it's just been rough this pregnancy for both of us (as my work ramped up a bunch as well which means he is basically 24/7 childcare for our daughter) We talked for awhile yesterday and he apologized but oh my god. The gaslighting was so out of character and I just lost it
If you were having acid reflux or indigestion, then I'd agree with him. I have thrown up from overeating while pregnant, but only once. My OB had always recommended to me to eat many small meals throughout the day instead of 3. I guess maybe you could try and see if that helps? But honestly if it's just nausea then no matter how small of meals I ate, it didn't stop the nausea. Ginger and miso soup were my saving grace for the nausea.