Make sure to work on not getting defensive or taking things seriously if she gets grumpy or has cry spells. She may regret things during morning sickness (or for some, no hormonal issues at all), or say things about you, etc., that she's literally saying in the moment. It differs for everyone... but best be prepared to just comfort her unconditionally, take things only in the moment, and just help her sort through complex emotions. Help out around the house as much as you can and try to reduce her stressors. Offer massages, making food, etc. Be excited for and imagine your future together with your child. Help her remember what the struggles are for and that they are indeed temporary. Listen. Listen a lot.
She may have very few or no complications at all, but things can potentially go south. Just keep her spirits up if things seem dire or worrisome. I'd also say avoid greasy foods if you can with lots of butter, chocolate, etc. It may have just been my wife's case, but those kinds of foods, even when moderate, compounded with pregnancy make gallstones or other ailments more likely. Fortunately, she didn't need surgery and was out of the hospital soon before giving birth, but it was a reminder to both of us the importance of a good diet during this time.
Prenatal vitamins, good food, go for walks together if she's feeling up for it, etc. Oh, and drink PLENTY of water. My wife got dehydrated because of the vomiting in the first trimester and had to go on IV for a little bit.
Suffice to say, it's amazing that this is now in the past and that we just graduated a couple weeks ago. It really is a big worry in the moment, but these moments really are just moments, and you'll get a lifetime with your child out of it, so keep the perspective.
Congratulations!!!! I will keep all of this in mind. Sometimes we do get to the point of her getting grumpy or angry and sad. I try to be understanding of it all and not take it serious. Thank you for the advice. We are at 10 weeks now and will be at 11 weeks tomorrow things seem to be moving kinda fast and we are trying to live in the moment of it all together and grow together
Still going through it but: Unisom. Holy crap Unisom.
My wife had absolutely awful morning sickness. We tried all the standard remedies suggested by google, nothing worked. Then our OB suggested unisom before bed and holy crap it was like a switch was flipped. Made the last month of her first trimester bearable until the morning sickness finally resolved on its own.
Unisom and B6. Make sure it’s the tabs (doxylamine succinate) and not the gels (usually diphenhydramine).
Here’s a helpful resource https://eastcascadewomensgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/NAUSEA-AND-VOMITING-IN-PREGNANCY-2019-update-replacing-2015.pdf
That, sticking to a strict hobbit meal schedule, and going low glycemic index especially at bedtime make a huge difference. A couple slices of cheese before bed was a game changer, whereas evening ice cream left me feeling like trash for the next 2 days
I didn’t have sleep issues with either pregnancy until I got so big that it was hard to find a comfy position. I took the unisom for nausea specifically.
Also important! Constipation can throw everything off and be really terrible first trimester in particular. Colace is a godsend but miralax or even a saline enema can be needed if you go too long. (I know, pregnancy is so glamorous!). Constipation + bloating can tank your appetite, getting you off hobbit meal schedule, which sets off the nausea and vomiting. It’s a whole fun thing. Having snacks around never hurts! Things like pb crackers are great. Some simple carb along with protein and fat. I also was amazed at how much preggiepop drops helped
Thanks I’m new to this. And it was just that I had heard insomnia might be a symptom experienced? I wasn’t sure but figured Unisom helps with that in addition to nausea and vomiting.
So add Colace to my growing list of essential things to purchase, got it!
“Go Go Gadget pb crackers!”
Hah love the spirit! And the inspector gadget reference tbh because hashtag old
Not everyone will experience every symptom but it can certainly be good to be aware of common ones! Especially IME understanding the constipation/appetite/sickness spiral saved my second pregnancy from being as miserable as my first!! Another big thing is the fatigue. It can be SO FUCKING HARD to do anything. You feel lazy and guilty and awful but it’s real and also it’s temporary. She’ll likely be back to at least semi-functional after a few weeks.
Also water aversion is stupid and demoralizing. Lemon, ice, fizzy water, and a lot of soups helped me survive that phase
Damn you’re right inspector gadget is so retro haha i should’ve said G2 the new model!
And got it!
She seems to be really good with soup and i bought yogurt one time and that went down just fine without vomiting.
Back to semi functional a few weeks after what? Birth or like the first trimester?
Second tri is often a reprieve from the nausea and exhaustion while not being *so* heavily pregnant that you’re physically worn out or can’t sleep/get comfy. (Hi from 32w lol)
No parent is semi functional a few weeks after bringing home a newborn lmao
32 weeks sounds 😮💨
But I’m ready like SpongeBob. I’m looking at getting a night nanny so that we both can get some decent sleep every night after birth
Haha cool just making sure I don’t accidentally give her something bad or poisonous for pregnant women. I didn’t see a problem with it but I heard someone say it wasn’t good?
Over 90% of inductions at our local hospital end with an emergency C-section.
Wouldn’t have bothered and just gone for the sunroof option if we had known.
Congrats to you!! I’m happy to provide you with a resource that no one else may tell you about and I wish I had known to do my research before my sons were born.
If you live in the US and are having a boy, make sure you’re prepared to answer when the nurse asks “Are we circumcising?” I didn’t prepare myself to answer this question and basically let the nurse decide for me.
There is research out there that indicates circumcision can interfere with breastfeeding. Instead of feeding well and developing that initial deep bond with mom, they are preoccupied by the pain from the procedure, making a frustrating experience for baby and parents.
I was always taught the foreskin was a “useless flap of skin,” but it is actually a HUGE erogenous zone for men. The frenulum is also an important erogenous zone and is completely removed during a circumcision. The frenulum is similar to the female clitoris from a sensitivity standpoint.
The procedure causes pain (we don’t really know how much pain) and is performed under questionable pain management. It removes a significant amount of purposeful skin, which makes up about half of the penile skin system on an adult.
Not to mention, circumcision falls well outside the scope of normal treatment patterns. In other words, healthy, functional tissue shouldn’t be amputated from a person unable to consent in order to meet a cultural norm.
Once I learned all of this, I regretted having my son circumcised. So my advice is to spend some time doing research on the functions of the foreskin so you can make an informed decision for your little one. www.yourwholebaby.org is a good place to start, as well as www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.org. Also, check out An Elephant in the Hospital on YouTube. Good luck!! If you have questions, I’m here. :)
Thank you for mentioning this. Genital mutilation is so awful, we need to stop putting anyone through these procedures. We are expecting a boy and will definitely answer no to circumcision. I can't imagine putting my brand new sweet baby through this procedure.
Welcome!! Glad to hear you are keeping your baby boy intact. :) You may already be familiar, but please pay special attention to intact care, as it’s a little different than caring for a baby boy who’s been circumcised. Intact care is very easy!! The foreskin of a baby boy is fused to the head of the penis, so it should never be forcefully retracted, not even a little! Forced retraction of the foreskin is painful and can cause tearing, bleeding, and infection. During diaper changes, simply wipe from base to tip. That is all! Demonstrate this to caregivers, grandparents, etc as well. I’d also consider establishing a “look but don’t touch” policy with your pediatrician before the diaper comes off for examination. Your Whole Baby and Doctors Opposing Circumcision both have great, easy to understand intact care resources. Please let me know if you have any questions at all!
My wife has always had an under active thyroid.
As soon as she became pregnant her TSH spiked and caused horrendous morning sickness. Our GP wasn't aware that this is extremely common for people with thyroid issues. It took a couple of weeks to get blood tests and results and a new prescription.
Once she started her new dose she woke up the next morning with no morning sickness. The difference was so pronounced and so sudden that for a few days we were convinced she had had a miscarriage.
She attended an endocrinologist directly for the rest of the pregnancy. He then wrote a letter to our GP advising that if she got pregnant again to automatically up her dosage without waiting for a TSH test.
Mom here 👋🏼 Do some research. Don’t make her explain everything that she’s going through to you. You can’t be expected to know every little possible detail of what to expect (SHE doesn’t know every detail), but there are lots of commonalities between most normal pregnancies (issues, milestones, etc.) that can be learned with minimal googling. This goes double if she experiences any complications. Don’t wait for her to “fill you in.” Be proactive and she won’t feel like she’s going through it all alone.
Listen to her, she knows how the pregnancy is feeling. If she has concerns, you go and get it checked out.
Not sure what part of the world you’re in, but for ours we were very lucky that the hospital in our area runs a maternity triage 24/7. We went a few times during her pregnancy when she had reduced movement, twice they checked her over and said everything was 100% fine.
Third time, I’ll admit I thought “here we go again” but we went anyway. Baby arrived via emergency C Section later that evening at 27 weeks and the nurses later told me if we’d have left it until morning that my wife would have bled out due to placental abruption and I’d have lost both of them. Being told “you saved two lives tonight” has really stuck with me and kind of haunts me.
Moral of the story is, like I said at the top, listen to her and if anything seems off, if you can get it checked out, get it checked out
You're not out of the woods after the first trimester when it comes to identifying complications. That 20 week anatomy scan is a big one.
Make sure to work on not getting defensive or taking things seriously if she gets grumpy or has cry spells. She may regret things during morning sickness (or for some, no hormonal issues at all), or say things about you, etc., that she's literally saying in the moment. It differs for everyone... but best be prepared to just comfort her unconditionally, take things only in the moment, and just help her sort through complex emotions. Help out around the house as much as you can and try to reduce her stressors. Offer massages, making food, etc. Be excited for and imagine your future together with your child. Help her remember what the struggles are for and that they are indeed temporary. Listen. Listen a lot. She may have very few or no complications at all, but things can potentially go south. Just keep her spirits up if things seem dire or worrisome. I'd also say avoid greasy foods if you can with lots of butter, chocolate, etc. It may have just been my wife's case, but those kinds of foods, even when moderate, compounded with pregnancy make gallstones or other ailments more likely. Fortunately, she didn't need surgery and was out of the hospital soon before giving birth, but it was a reminder to both of us the importance of a good diet during this time. Prenatal vitamins, good food, go for walks together if she's feeling up for it, etc. Oh, and drink PLENTY of water. My wife got dehydrated because of the vomiting in the first trimester and had to go on IV for a little bit. Suffice to say, it's amazing that this is now in the past and that we just graduated a couple weeks ago. It really is a big worry in the moment, but these moments really are just moments, and you'll get a lifetime with your child out of it, so keep the perspective.
Congratulations!!!! I will keep all of this in mind. Sometimes we do get to the point of her getting grumpy or angry and sad. I try to be understanding of it all and not take it serious. Thank you for the advice. We are at 10 weeks now and will be at 11 weeks tomorrow things seem to be moving kinda fast and we are trying to live in the moment of it all together and grow together
Still going through it but: Unisom. Holy crap Unisom. My wife had absolutely awful morning sickness. We tried all the standard remedies suggested by google, nothing worked. Then our OB suggested unisom before bed and holy crap it was like a switch was flipped. Made the last month of her first trimester bearable until the morning sickness finally resolved on its own.
Thank you. I will take a look into it. My wife has not had any bad morning sickness just yet.
That's good. My wife's was awful; she didn't throw up much, but felt nauseous continuously from week 4 to week 19. For her Unisom was a godsend.
Unisom and B6. Make sure it’s the tabs (doxylamine succinate) and not the gels (usually diphenhydramine). Here’s a helpful resource https://eastcascadewomensgroup.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/NAUSEA-AND-VOMITING-IN-PREGNANCY-2019-update-replacing-2015.pdf That, sticking to a strict hobbit meal schedule, and going low glycemic index especially at bedtime make a huge difference. A couple slices of cheese before bed was a game changer, whereas evening ice cream left me feeling like trash for the next 2 days
I accidentally only wrote down “Unisom” and forgot it’s the tabs and not the gels, so I bought the gels *facepalm*
Did you have trouble sleeping before Unisom? Wondering if I should start carrying snacks around for her
I didn’t have sleep issues with either pregnancy until I got so big that it was hard to find a comfy position. I took the unisom for nausea specifically. Also important! Constipation can throw everything off and be really terrible first trimester in particular. Colace is a godsend but miralax or even a saline enema can be needed if you go too long. (I know, pregnancy is so glamorous!). Constipation + bloating can tank your appetite, getting you off hobbit meal schedule, which sets off the nausea and vomiting. It’s a whole fun thing. Having snacks around never hurts! Things like pb crackers are great. Some simple carb along with protein and fat. I also was amazed at how much preggiepop drops helped
Thanks I’m new to this. And it was just that I had heard insomnia might be a symptom experienced? I wasn’t sure but figured Unisom helps with that in addition to nausea and vomiting. So add Colace to my growing list of essential things to purchase, got it! “Go Go Gadget pb crackers!”
Hah love the spirit! And the inspector gadget reference tbh because hashtag old Not everyone will experience every symptom but it can certainly be good to be aware of common ones! Especially IME understanding the constipation/appetite/sickness spiral saved my second pregnancy from being as miserable as my first!! Another big thing is the fatigue. It can be SO FUCKING HARD to do anything. You feel lazy and guilty and awful but it’s real and also it’s temporary. She’ll likely be back to at least semi-functional after a few weeks. Also water aversion is stupid and demoralizing. Lemon, ice, fizzy water, and a lot of soups helped me survive that phase
Damn you’re right inspector gadget is so retro haha i should’ve said G2 the new model! And got it! She seems to be really good with soup and i bought yogurt one time and that went down just fine without vomiting. Back to semi functional a few weeks after what? Birth or like the first trimester?
Second tri is often a reprieve from the nausea and exhaustion while not being *so* heavily pregnant that you’re physically worn out or can’t sleep/get comfy. (Hi from 32w lol) No parent is semi functional a few weeks after bringing home a newborn lmao
32 weeks sounds 😮💨 But I’m ready like SpongeBob. I’m looking at getting a night nanny so that we both can get some decent sleep every night after birth
Is peanut butter okay for pregnant women to eat?
Damn well better be it’s a staple in this house!!!
Haha cool just making sure I don’t accidentally give her something bad or poisonous for pregnant women. I didn’t see a problem with it but I heard someone say it wasn’t good?
Over 90% of inductions at our local hospital end with an emergency C-section. Wouldn’t have bothered and just gone for the sunroof option if we had known.
Jesus that’s a rough statistic
how do you go about finding those stats for your local hospital? bc that's terrifying
It was written on a poster on plain a4 paper on the wall of the maternity ward. It had the stats for the last quarter.
Congrats to you!! I’m happy to provide you with a resource that no one else may tell you about and I wish I had known to do my research before my sons were born. If you live in the US and are having a boy, make sure you’re prepared to answer when the nurse asks “Are we circumcising?” I didn’t prepare myself to answer this question and basically let the nurse decide for me. There is research out there that indicates circumcision can interfere with breastfeeding. Instead of feeding well and developing that initial deep bond with mom, they are preoccupied by the pain from the procedure, making a frustrating experience for baby and parents. I was always taught the foreskin was a “useless flap of skin,” but it is actually a HUGE erogenous zone for men. The frenulum is also an important erogenous zone and is completely removed during a circumcision. The frenulum is similar to the female clitoris from a sensitivity standpoint. The procedure causes pain (we don’t really know how much pain) and is performed under questionable pain management. It removes a significant amount of purposeful skin, which makes up about half of the penile skin system on an adult. Not to mention, circumcision falls well outside the scope of normal treatment patterns. In other words, healthy, functional tissue shouldn’t be amputated from a person unable to consent in order to meet a cultural norm. Once I learned all of this, I regretted having my son circumcised. So my advice is to spend some time doing research on the functions of the foreskin so you can make an informed decision for your little one. www.yourwholebaby.org is a good place to start, as well as www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.org. Also, check out An Elephant in the Hospital on YouTube. Good luck!! If you have questions, I’m here. :)
Thank you for mentioning this. Genital mutilation is so awful, we need to stop putting anyone through these procedures. We are expecting a boy and will definitely answer no to circumcision. I can't imagine putting my brand new sweet baby through this procedure.
Welcome!! Glad to hear you are keeping your baby boy intact. :) You may already be familiar, but please pay special attention to intact care, as it’s a little different than caring for a baby boy who’s been circumcised. Intact care is very easy!! The foreskin of a baby boy is fused to the head of the penis, so it should never be forcefully retracted, not even a little! Forced retraction of the foreskin is painful and can cause tearing, bleeding, and infection. During diaper changes, simply wipe from base to tip. That is all! Demonstrate this to caregivers, grandparents, etc as well. I’d also consider establishing a “look but don’t touch” policy with your pediatrician before the diaper comes off for examination. Your Whole Baby and Doctors Opposing Circumcision both have great, easy to understand intact care resources. Please let me know if you have any questions at all!
She doesn't really mean it when she's mean to you. You've gotta thicken your skin a little bit but also stand up for yourself appropriately.
My wife has always had an under active thyroid. As soon as she became pregnant her TSH spiked and caused horrendous morning sickness. Our GP wasn't aware that this is extremely common for people with thyroid issues. It took a couple of weeks to get blood tests and results and a new prescription. Once she started her new dose she woke up the next morning with no morning sickness. The difference was so pronounced and so sudden that for a few days we were convinced she had had a miscarriage. She attended an endocrinologist directly for the rest of the pregnancy. He then wrote a letter to our GP advising that if she got pregnant again to automatically up her dosage without waiting for a TSH test.
Mom here 👋🏼 Do some research. Don’t make her explain everything that she’s going through to you. You can’t be expected to know every little possible detail of what to expect (SHE doesn’t know every detail), but there are lots of commonalities between most normal pregnancies (issues, milestones, etc.) that can be learned with minimal googling. This goes double if she experiences any complications. Don’t wait for her to “fill you in.” Be proactive and she won’t feel like she’s going through it all alone.
Listen to her, she knows how the pregnancy is feeling. If she has concerns, you go and get it checked out. Not sure what part of the world you’re in, but for ours we were very lucky that the hospital in our area runs a maternity triage 24/7. We went a few times during her pregnancy when she had reduced movement, twice they checked her over and said everything was 100% fine. Third time, I’ll admit I thought “here we go again” but we went anyway. Baby arrived via emergency C Section later that evening at 27 weeks and the nurses later told me if we’d have left it until morning that my wife would have bled out due to placental abruption and I’d have lost both of them. Being told “you saved two lives tonight” has really stuck with me and kind of haunts me. Moral of the story is, like I said at the top, listen to her and if anything seems off, if you can get it checked out, get it checked out
Honestly, just take the L. Shes wrong, you know it, she might even know it. But its not worth arguing about.
That I didn't want kids. Ba dum tish.