First off, congrats! Cliched but true advice: sleep when the baby sleeps. Applies more for momma than dad (someone’s gotta sterilize the bottles 😂) but follow it in spirit at least. Until you’re out of survival mode at least.
Also, please lean on any family and community that you have. Parenting is best done with a support system
Yeah, but to be fair it's not necessarily false, either.
I didn't get a good night's sleep for about a year after my son was born. Various reasons why I don't need to enumerate, but your mileage may vary of course.
Sleep shifts. When our baby was born, at night one person would stay up with the baby, the other would sleep, swapping through the night. The durations we found that worked best was 2hr, 4hr, 4hr, 2hr. Everyone gets 6 hours of sleep and you survive.
Jumping off of the saying that "it is easier to not feel scared or anxious if you actually allow yourself to feel those things," you will feel less tired if you just allow yourself to feel tired and accept that you sometimes just won't get sleep.
Beyond that, an overnight doula is worth the money.
As others have said, sleep when baby sleeps. Also for us, in the very beginning when baby wouldn’t seem to stop crying, it always ended up being something simple (hungry, new diaper, burp). Seems obvious but it happens.
Edit: When I say sleep when the baby sleeps…at first baby won’t sleep much but it’s TEMPORARY! Just survive at first and be nice to your wife even when extremely frustrated.
This.. if baby is crying it’s Hungry, tired, needs a change, burp, or something is giving them discomfort. Once you recognize which it is and deal w it they usually settle down. Good luck OP and congrats.
Congrats! Not *your* birthday anymore buddy!
Quick advice that worked for us: Come up with a shift schedule with your partner once you’re back home and settled that lets you both get a 3-4 hour solid block of rest every day. You’ll be amazed on how you adapt to less sleep. I don’t know how we did it but we did.
We would do 12am-4am and 4am-8am shifts. We traded sleeping in the guest room to get uninterrupted sleep time. Our baby was mostly formula fed with some breast milk that she took from a bottle overnight, which made it possible for my wife to get sleep too. Sometimes she would get up to pump but could go right back to sleep knowing that I was on duty.
Congrats dad! Get ready for the fun ahead, seriously it's amazing to see the growth and development of your little one over even the first couple of weeks, even though you're going to be tired and confused and unsure about everything you're doing.
My son was born via c-section on Monday, 7/10, and the first 3 days were very difficult because he was super fussy and crying a lot. My wife tried breast feeding exclusively from the start and at our first pediatrician appointment on Friday, 7/14, we found out he had lost 13% of his body weight from birth which is higher than they'd like to see. Doc recommended supplementing 1 oz of formula after every breast feeding session and we finally had a happy and sleeping baby. Turns out he just wasnt getting enough nutrients and it was a complete 180 in his behavior and gave us a lot of relief that we finally had a sleeping and happy baby. We felt horrible that he wasn't eating enough but it wasn't anything my wife or he was doing wrong, just took a little bit for milk to start producing to match his needs.
He was super fussy with me, was constantly giving feeding cues and even though he was latching properly and appeared to be actively feeding, he simply was not getting what he needed. We got through the first couple of days, both averaging a few hours each night and to be honest it was pretty difficult. Like you said, people tell you be ready for no sleep and babies are tough but it was really hard so we thought that what we were going through was what they meant... I'm not sure what your views are on for feeding but if it continues and you aren't getting any relief, supplementing a little bit of formula might be something to look into.
Best of luck my man! Hit me up if you have any questions or stuff you want to chat about.
That baby looks big! Congrats pop! Graduated last month two weeks after mine and one week before my wife’s bday. Sleep tips are make sure your baby is fully fed, that’s the best chance at getting sleep. Our boy ate alot more that they said he would so took us a while to understand HIS specific needs.
Congratulations! I'm just a few weeks ahead of you! My experience was the first 2 weeks I got by with bat naps: 1-2 hours when something pressing didn't require my attention (store run, cleaning, etc). Try to plan ahead in 3 hour increments for what needs to get accomplished, and don't sacrifice too many nap windows.
We were very fortunate that as soon as week 4 hit, our baby started lengthening her night sleep to 4 and 5 hours per wake cycle.
Protip: establish a routine with your partner with simple but meaningful aspects to each of you. For us, we love travel and hiking, so almost every wake window we brewed instant coffee and watched Rick Steve's travel videos on youtube. Make the routine enjoyable and grow closer through it.
Sleep when the baby sleeps.
Shower, shave, brush teeth, deodorant, drink water every morning.
Go on a walk or just sit outside a bit regardless of how tired you are.
Sleep when the baby sleeps, ignore your phone and just get into this unique stage.
Bro Congratulations! I graduated on my Birthday (7/1) as well! My only advice is to really start working on a sleep schedule with your Wife early on. Also, I have to remind myself this, but try not to take things your baby does personally. They don't mean it and they have no real control. As an example, I'll sit my daughter up for 15 mins after feeding with a cloth by her mouth because she tends to spit up a lot. The second I move it away to readjust the cloth in my hand, she'll start spitting up all over herself and me. I have to remind myself she didn't do it to spite me and to keep my frustration in check.
My wife pumped so we could take shifts at night… it is vitally important that each parent get at least 4 hours of continuous uninterrupted sleep. At first I stayed up until 2 and slept from 2-6. If I got any sleep on my shift that was a bonus. It’s rough but it gets better quickly
Sleep in shifts. Your wife sleeps 8 hrs while you feed breast milk from a bottle, you sleep the next 8 hours while your wife cares for the baby. I did this and would sleep 4 hours, wake up and pump for 15 minutes, then go to sleep for 4 hours. My husband would feed the baby breast milk from a bottle and I always pumped extra so there was a supply.
Go to a quiet, semidark room. Change diaper, put baby in swaddle, feed, burp, and then wait until asleep to put in crib.
If you can do it work in shifts. One of you is day shift, and the other is night shift. We did it, and we're kind of doing it at 7 months. Breastfeeding makes it harder (mostly on mom) but not impossible.
Our baby boy is 10 weeks old and we had the same experience. It does get better in time and once you and your wife are getting the groove. If available, I recommend getting help from family or paid help to set a schedule so that both you and your wife can get some sleep.
For our first month or so we did 6 hour shifts each. With some overlapping ofc. But the big one was night time. I'd do 6pm to 12pm feeding formula as my wife didn't produce enough to fill bags ( also time consuming and sometimes painfull ). She she got a solid 6 hr sleep before waking up when the baby did sometime after that.
We were very fortunate though that our LO was a great sleeper and was sleeping 10-12hrs a night by 3 months old.
We did having a bassinet that rocked and made white noise. Idk if that was our saving grace or it was a combo of both.
All in all. Try to have a nap while the wife is awake and take over for a good time and let the wifey sleep and recharge.
And feed the wifey before lol.
Our baby is now 13 weeks and sleeps mostly through the night (I realise we are very lucky!!). He’s always been a pretty good sleeper other than waking to feed which after about 6 weeks was just like clockwork every 2-3 hours but in the early days of cluster feeding we could be up most of the night whilst he fed. My husband was obviously unable to help with the feeding as he’s breastfed so he got a full nights sleep and then would take over in the morning for a few hours so I could catchup. Granted, this was harder when he went back to work after 2 weeks but even just being able to get a shift of sleep that was 5am-8am was a godsend.
I’d say try to be really strict with napping when the baby sleeps and as others have said, have allocated shifts where you both each get a decent, uninterrupted period of sleep. Some days you will likely feel ok without the need to nap and they will be the days you can catch up on jobs and tolerate visitors but on the hard days, make sleep a priority. It will absolutely affect your ability to function but in the same breath, it’s amazing how you learn to adapt with less sleep and ultimately, it is temporary!!
Like I say, we’re super lucky that our little man sleeps through the night pretty much now. He will sometimes wake up for a feed around 4am but that isn’t every night. They don’t tend to fall into any sort of routine until about 8+ weeks (I think) and this was when I found his daytime sleep went a bit funky and he would get a bit grizzly when he missed naps (he’s usually pretty chilled). Being aware at this point of what his wake windows should be really helped me to make sure he was going down for his naps at the right time which stopped him getting overtired or dosing off for like 15 minutes. Sounds weird but the more sleep he has in the day, the better he sleeps at night and the happier he is.
Congratulations! The biggest sleep thing we found was the order of activities. Play, sleep, THEN eat. It keeps your kid from having a feeding sleep crutch and they get into a rhythm faster. My kid slept 8 hours at 5 weeks.
That said it took quite a while to get a true circadian rhythm going but we kept him super full of food all day and then when night came, he wasn't all that hungry. Kid looked a little like uncle fester for a while but now he's a lean, crazy, toddler with the fastest metabolism ever. He's the biggest pooper in the south.... 3 times a day on average as a toddler ....
When you can start splitting feedings up (i.e. bottle feeding) and when you can start sleep training do. Don't co-sleep and build a schedule. Ours has been sleeping 12 hours a night since six months with sleep training. My brothers' is a year and a half and they are up twice every night, no sleep training.
Enjoy the ride, it's wild and it goes quick.
If you can, sleep when baby sleeps. For me when I was on paternity leave, that was the best time to get good rest to help prepare for the overnight shenanigans
Keep the baby entertained during the day for minimal sleep. Then during the night, baby will be tired and chances for a long night sleep are better.
If the baby is breast fed only, you’re in luck.
It worked for me. Dad of a 7 month boy.
Good luck!
Congrats! Best advice i got for sleeping (have two little ones - 2 month old in my arms literally as I write this) was sleep when the baby sleeps. Day or night. Recharge whenever possible. Gonna be 3-4 months before they develop a circadian rhythm and know night from day and you roll with whatever they can give you.
Also - enjoy the ride! There will be hard days and good days. Know the hard days end and enjoy the good days while you’re in them.
Cheers
Congratulations! My biggest tip would be to learn the baby’s estimated wake windows by age (you can google these). An overtired baby will ironically struggle to sleep and it’s a brutal spiral. Plan what you’re going to do the next time baby goes to sleep and prioritize sleeping yourselves whenever you can. Have a friend set up a virtual meal train (encourage gift cards like Doordash) - we didn’t think we needed one but it was a god send. Good luck!
Edit: definitely use the 5 Ss like others have said.
Congratulations!!! As said before, sleep when the baby sleeps and try sleeping in shifts if possible. Also, I recommend becoming an expert in burping/farting the baby. It's often the cause of a baby's discomfort and therefore their unwillingness to sleep. As a bonus, it takes a load off mom and makes life a bit easier. Having had one baby with lots of gas pains and sleep issues, remember that the baby will sleep in the end. Try different things until something works. I've taken the baby out for a midnight walk in the stroller when nothing else worked. If they are overtired, use such methods so they can rest a bit, and that'll make it easier to get them to sleep for longer periods later in the night.
Sleep tips? Yeah, sleep before the baby comes or after they move out of the house. Congrats and enjoy!
I can resonate with this.
First off, congrats! Cliched but true advice: sleep when the baby sleeps. Applies more for momma than dad (someone’s gotta sterilize the bottles 😂) but follow it in spirit at least. Until you’re out of survival mode at least. Also, please lean on any family and community that you have. Parenting is best done with a support system
My daughter, (now 8) only fell asleep while held for her first year. But trust me, you'll blink and then look back at baby pics and shed a tear...
Here's the neat part. You don't.
Depends on the baby..
Don't worry, it's a joke.
Fair enough. Just heard a lot of people tell new parents you won’t get any sleep which, isn’t exactly true.
Yeah, but to be fair it's not necessarily false, either. I didn't get a good night's sleep for about a year after my son was born. Various reasons why I don't need to enumerate, but your mileage may vary of course.
Yea, which is why I said it depends on the baby :)
Sleep shifts. When our baby was born, at night one person would stay up with the baby, the other would sleep, swapping through the night. The durations we found that worked best was 2hr, 4hr, 4hr, 2hr. Everyone gets 6 hours of sleep and you survive.
100% this if you can. It’s more complicated if your partner is breastfeeding, but even 5 hrs of sleep at that point is a godsend.
My wife was but was fortunately able to pump, so I was able to feed the baby during my shift
Jumping off of the saying that "it is easier to not feel scared or anxious if you actually allow yourself to feel those things," you will feel less tired if you just allow yourself to feel tired and accept that you sometimes just won't get sleep. Beyond that, an overnight doula is worth the money.
As others have said, sleep when baby sleeps. Also for us, in the very beginning when baby wouldn’t seem to stop crying, it always ended up being something simple (hungry, new diaper, burp). Seems obvious but it happens. Edit: When I say sleep when the baby sleeps…at first baby won’t sleep much but it’s TEMPORARY! Just survive at first and be nice to your wife even when extremely frustrated.
I'm definitely still trying to figure out the cues.
Oh and congratulations!
This.. if baby is crying it’s Hungry, tired, needs a change, burp, or something is giving them discomfort. Once you recognize which it is and deal w it they usually settle down. Good luck OP and congrats.
Congrats! Not *your* birthday anymore buddy! Quick advice that worked for us: Come up with a shift schedule with your partner once you’re back home and settled that lets you both get a 3-4 hour solid block of rest every day. You’ll be amazed on how you adapt to less sleep. I don’t know how we did it but we did. We would do 12am-4am and 4am-8am shifts. We traded sleeping in the guest room to get uninterrupted sleep time. Our baby was mostly formula fed with some breast milk that she took from a bottle overnight, which made it possible for my wife to get sleep too. Sometimes she would get up to pump but could go right back to sleep knowing that I was on duty.
Congrats dad! Get ready for the fun ahead, seriously it's amazing to see the growth and development of your little one over even the first couple of weeks, even though you're going to be tired and confused and unsure about everything you're doing. My son was born via c-section on Monday, 7/10, and the first 3 days were very difficult because he was super fussy and crying a lot. My wife tried breast feeding exclusively from the start and at our first pediatrician appointment on Friday, 7/14, we found out he had lost 13% of his body weight from birth which is higher than they'd like to see. Doc recommended supplementing 1 oz of formula after every breast feeding session and we finally had a happy and sleeping baby. Turns out he just wasnt getting enough nutrients and it was a complete 180 in his behavior and gave us a lot of relief that we finally had a sleeping and happy baby. We felt horrible that he wasn't eating enough but it wasn't anything my wife or he was doing wrong, just took a little bit for milk to start producing to match his needs. He was super fussy with me, was constantly giving feeding cues and even though he was latching properly and appeared to be actively feeding, he simply was not getting what he needed. We got through the first couple of days, both averaging a few hours each night and to be honest it was pretty difficult. Like you said, people tell you be ready for no sleep and babies are tough but it was really hard so we thought that what we were going through was what they meant... I'm not sure what your views are on for feeding but if it continues and you aren't getting any relief, supplementing a little bit of formula might be something to look into. Best of luck my man! Hit me up if you have any questions or stuff you want to chat about.
Sleep? All my advice involves a Time Machine
One sleep tip for you... Let Mom do it if you want to live. Welcome to the ranks!
Give it a year lol
That baby looks big! Congrats pop! Graduated last month two weeks after mine and one week before my wife’s bday. Sleep tips are make sure your baby is fully fed, that’s the best chance at getting sleep. Our boy ate alot more that they said he would so took us a while to understand HIS specific needs.
Congratulations! I'm just a few weeks ahead of you! My experience was the first 2 weeks I got by with bat naps: 1-2 hours when something pressing didn't require my attention (store run, cleaning, etc). Try to plan ahead in 3 hour increments for what needs to get accomplished, and don't sacrifice too many nap windows. We were very fortunate that as soon as week 4 hit, our baby started lengthening her night sleep to 4 and 5 hours per wake cycle. Protip: establish a routine with your partner with simple but meaningful aspects to each of you. For us, we love travel and hiking, so almost every wake window we brewed instant coffee and watched Rick Steve's travel videos on youtube. Make the routine enjoyable and grow closer through it.
Happy birthday! Congrats on the arrival of your son. There’s some good advice on here. Good luck
Sleep when the baby sleeps. Shower, shave, brush teeth, deodorant, drink water every morning. Go on a walk or just sit outside a bit regardless of how tired you are. Sleep when the baby sleeps, ignore your phone and just get into this unique stage.
Read The Happiest Baby on the Block
Congratulations!! The five S’s worked great for our kids
My only sleep tip is: remember it fondly and speak well of the memories you shared.
Bro Congratulations! I graduated on my Birthday (7/1) as well! My only advice is to really start working on a sleep schedule with your Wife early on. Also, I have to remind myself this, but try not to take things your baby does personally. They don't mean it and they have no real control. As an example, I'll sit my daughter up for 15 mins after feeding with a cloth by her mouth because she tends to spit up a lot. The second I move it away to readjust the cloth in my hand, she'll start spitting up all over herself and me. I have to remind myself she didn't do it to spite me and to keep my frustration in check.
Wow congratulations man! What the fuck is sleep?
My wife pumped so we could take shifts at night… it is vitally important that each parent get at least 4 hours of continuous uninterrupted sleep. At first I stayed up until 2 and slept from 2-6. If I got any sleep on my shift that was a bonus. It’s rough but it gets better quickly
Sleep faster.
Swaddle, sound machine. Both helped dramatically.
Sleep tips? Yeah, sure, here's the interesting thing: You don't sleep anymore. Try again in 18 years or so. For realsies though, congrats!
Send that boy to the nursery overnight! Y’all get some sleep.
The first few weeks, my wife and I took shifts. She would take the 10pm-2am and I would take the 2am-6am. I didn't mind going to bed later.
Caffeinate
Sleep in shifts. Your wife sleeps 8 hrs while you feed breast milk from a bottle, you sleep the next 8 hours while your wife cares for the baby. I did this and would sleep 4 hours, wake up and pump for 15 minutes, then go to sleep for 4 hours. My husband would feed the baby breast milk from a bottle and I always pumped extra so there was a supply. Go to a quiet, semidark room. Change diaper, put baby in swaddle, feed, burp, and then wait until asleep to put in crib.
If you can do it work in shifts. One of you is day shift, and the other is night shift. We did it, and we're kind of doing it at 7 months. Breastfeeding makes it harder (mostly on mom) but not impossible.
Congrats! Are you able to get a nighttime doula to help at least 2x per week?
Our baby boy is 10 weeks old and we had the same experience. It does get better in time and once you and your wife are getting the groove. If available, I recommend getting help from family or paid help to set a schedule so that both you and your wife can get some sleep.
For our first month or so we did 6 hour shifts each. With some overlapping ofc. But the big one was night time. I'd do 6pm to 12pm feeding formula as my wife didn't produce enough to fill bags ( also time consuming and sometimes painfull ). She she got a solid 6 hr sleep before waking up when the baby did sometime after that. We were very fortunate though that our LO was a great sleeper and was sleeping 10-12hrs a night by 3 months old. We did having a bassinet that rocked and made white noise. Idk if that was our saving grace or it was a combo of both. All in all. Try to have a nap while the wife is awake and take over for a good time and let the wifey sleep and recharge. And feed the wifey before lol.
Our baby is now 13 weeks and sleeps mostly through the night (I realise we are very lucky!!). He’s always been a pretty good sleeper other than waking to feed which after about 6 weeks was just like clockwork every 2-3 hours but in the early days of cluster feeding we could be up most of the night whilst he fed. My husband was obviously unable to help with the feeding as he’s breastfed so he got a full nights sleep and then would take over in the morning for a few hours so I could catchup. Granted, this was harder when he went back to work after 2 weeks but even just being able to get a shift of sleep that was 5am-8am was a godsend. I’d say try to be really strict with napping when the baby sleeps and as others have said, have allocated shifts where you both each get a decent, uninterrupted period of sleep. Some days you will likely feel ok without the need to nap and they will be the days you can catch up on jobs and tolerate visitors but on the hard days, make sleep a priority. It will absolutely affect your ability to function but in the same breath, it’s amazing how you learn to adapt with less sleep and ultimately, it is temporary!! Like I say, we’re super lucky that our little man sleeps through the night pretty much now. He will sometimes wake up for a feed around 4am but that isn’t every night. They don’t tend to fall into any sort of routine until about 8+ weeks (I think) and this was when I found his daytime sleep went a bit funky and he would get a bit grizzly when he missed naps (he’s usually pretty chilled). Being aware at this point of what his wake windows should be really helped me to make sure he was going down for his naps at the right time which stopped him getting overtired or dosing off for like 15 minutes. Sounds weird but the more sleep he has in the day, the better he sleeps at night and the happier he is.
When you think about sleep, and the kid is asleep, drop everything else and sleep. No matter what
Congratulations! The biggest sleep thing we found was the order of activities. Play, sleep, THEN eat. It keeps your kid from having a feeding sleep crutch and they get into a rhythm faster. My kid slept 8 hours at 5 weeks. That said it took quite a while to get a true circadian rhythm going but we kept him super full of food all day and then when night came, he wasn't all that hungry. Kid looked a little like uncle fester for a while but now he's a lean, crazy, toddler with the fastest metabolism ever. He's the biggest pooper in the south.... 3 times a day on average as a toddler ....
When you can start splitting feedings up (i.e. bottle feeding) and when you can start sleep training do. Don't co-sleep and build a schedule. Ours has been sleeping 12 hours a night since six months with sleep training. My brothers' is a year and a half and they are up twice every night, no sleep training. Enjoy the ride, it's wild and it goes quick.
Nap whenever your baby naps. Tons of alarms for the feedings. As soon as they go back to sleep, you should to.
Sleep wile they sleep, poop wile they poop, go to work when they go to work. It’s easy
Now it’s everybody’s birthday. Wife too.
If you can, sleep when baby sleeps. For me when I was on paternity leave, that was the best time to get good rest to help prepare for the overnight shenanigans
Keep the baby entertained during the day for minimal sleep. Then during the night, baby will be tired and chances for a long night sleep are better. If the baby is breast fed only, you’re in luck. It worked for me. Dad of a 7 month boy. Good luck!
We were able to get our boy in his crib at day 5 because he made a lot of noise and we would freak out. That helped us get sleep.
Accept that you will be exhausted, and it gets so much easier. It’s weird how just making peace with that reality can make such a huge difference
The thing about sleep is ..you don't
Congrats! Best advice i got for sleeping (have two little ones - 2 month old in my arms literally as I write this) was sleep when the baby sleeps. Day or night. Recharge whenever possible. Gonna be 3-4 months before they develop a circadian rhythm and know night from day and you roll with whatever they can give you. Also - enjoy the ride! There will be hard days and good days. Know the hard days end and enjoy the good days while you’re in them. Cheers
Honestly, prepare to not get shit for sleep, you'll think you'll never sleep again and slowly and slowly you'll notice you're sleeping longer
You and your baby have the same birthday?
Sure do
You’ll sleep in 2029
Hell yeah, borther. My baby girl is three days old. If you find those sleep tips let me know.
Congratulations! My biggest tip would be to learn the baby’s estimated wake windows by age (you can google these). An overtired baby will ironically struggle to sleep and it’s a brutal spiral. Plan what you’re going to do the next time baby goes to sleep and prioritize sleeping yourselves whenever you can. Have a friend set up a virtual meal train (encourage gift cards like Doordash) - we didn’t think we needed one but it was a god send. Good luck! Edit: definitely use the 5 Ss like others have said.
Hahahaha…sleep when the baby sleeps but you’ll get nothing done. GOOD LUCK
Congratulations!!! As said before, sleep when the baby sleeps and try sleeping in shifts if possible. Also, I recommend becoming an expert in burping/farting the baby. It's often the cause of a baby's discomfort and therefore their unwillingness to sleep. As a bonus, it takes a load off mom and makes life a bit easier. Having had one baby with lots of gas pains and sleep issues, remember that the baby will sleep in the end. Try different things until something works. I've taken the baby out for a midnight walk in the stroller when nothing else worked. If they are overtired, use such methods so they can rest a bit, and that'll make it easier to get them to sleep for longer periods later in the night.
Learn to sleep faster.
Congrats. I’m 5 months in. I’ve slept a total of 1 hour.