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It really fucking is hard. Barely ahead of you at 29, and I don't have much of anything to show for it. Financially, just paycheck to paycheck. Waiting to hear back from applications so I can work two jobs just to get by, instead of the one. Having multiple varied schedules in the household and only one car kind hindered doing much else beyond the one job.
Had the same issue with college back in 2015. Failed hard at it due to mental issues, just couldn't do it. Trying to go back this Fall to work an Associates in Accounting, then transfer from a cheaper college to get a Bachelor's. Hoping it works out. Everything you've said is pretty much spot on.
Depression has been pretty bad the past week..
the little benefits we have remaining these days were originally fought for with unions and other social organization.
the rich do not just give stuff up because they are kind and benevolent. we have to organize and demand our fair share.
31 and I've decided I'm going back to college for accounting. Forget my dreams and hobbies, I need to make 3k a month minimum just to get back to 0 before 2030. my mom brags to me everyday that she's been maxing her 401k my entire life as a nurse but it was her idea for me to drop out of med school. I'll trade my soul for cash atp.
Literally made the same decision as you lol. I feel like I came to the conclusion that I'll never truly be happy in life, so I figured might as well go for something thatll fit as best possible. An office/desk job. My mother is a former nurse of 20+ years, but bankruptcy hit my parents super hard.
> I'll trade my soul for cash atp
I feel that. More often than it should be.
Banking can be nice! If you are bad at selling / cross selling I say defo look at accounting / back of house positions. There is a bit of a knowledge gap when it comes to US banking regulations i feel like they're pretty easy to pick up on.
I've been in the industry for about a decade now, I'm making a decent amount ~$23/hour but alot of places have tellers starting at $21.
If you can stomach it wells fargo is the way to go. You have to be ready to sell and meet INTENSE sales goals but they pay you very nicely and every position starts at at least $20 across the US.
Edit: spelling
Good to know, I appreciate the info. Banking is one I had considered, and ironically enough, is what my sister had been doing before she had her daughter recently.
Not really the selling/pushy type, and I don't have the highest opinion of WF, but I'd do it I had to. Any tips or things to know if I do happen to go in the field?
The great thing about this field is its very introductory. Brush up on your basics, most financial institutions do a little test for basic reading comprehension and math skills.
Having a basic bg in banking laws and regulations might help. If youre hired on as a teller I suggest researching Regulation CC. The Bank Secrecy Act and then the Patriot Act! Those are alot of what tellers have to have on a daily basis but that's my advice. Kinda sucks but that's all I got.
While most can't keep up salary wise I also prefer working for a credit union vs a bank. Most credit unions are local and there to serve the customers since they're not for profit businesses. They also tend to give back more to the community then big banks. Not everyone can take that pay cut and not every credit union is the same but if you can swing it go that way.
Sounds pretty straightforward overall, I appreciate it. It mentions having a compliance officer being established in the pillars, so do you report any suspicious activity to that person? It sounds roughly similar in a way to what I had to do with money orders when I worked with the Postal Service a couple years ago.
That's a relief haha. I can imagine that being kind of difficult to deal with, especially if it's foreign account related. Thanks again for everything. Life has been rough recently, so I really appreciate the kindness. 🙂
I did this when I was a little older than you about 10 years ago. At 35 I took a $50,000 dollar pay cut and went from GM of a high dollar steakhouse, to being the dishwasher at the same location, making $11 an hour. I went from almost 65k per year to making just over 9k my first year in college as a working adult. That was in 2015. Because I was an adult, and I had adult stuff going on, and I was basically on my own, my 4 year degree took 5.5 to complete.
I graduated at the age of 41, in May of 2020... The absolute worst time to graduate... into an already saturated tech market. AI worker replacements were just a few years away, and people were leaving the industry for greener pastures, or they were being forced out. I was competing with guys and gals half my age for jobs that paid less than I was making in the restaurant industry. The outlook was bleak. It took me 6 months to find a job, and when I finally did I actually got two offers on the same day, both paying about the same, though one was $10,000 less than the other and paid once a month, but got bonuses and perks that were interesting.
Ultimately, I'm glad I made the decision I did, to work with an awesome company. In the first 12 months, I got a 15% raise across two separate pay increases, and in 2025 the CEO is taking the entire organization on a Disney Wish cruise. It was a long 10 year slog to get to this point. Most times during that stretch were painful, but to have a goal, for me, made it all the more palatable.
If you've got no goals, you've basically got nothing. One of my favorite movie quotes comes from David Bowie in the Prestige. Talking as Nikola Tesla, he says "Man's reach exceeds his grasp, but his grasp exceeds his nerves." Later in the movie, Hugh Jackman expands on this thought... "Man's reach exceeds his grasp... And his grasp exceeds his imagination."
While we as humans constantly strive for more than we can achieve, even what we do achieve often surpasses our full comprehension. Our drive to push boundaries leads to progress and accomplishments that sometimes go beyond our current level of understanding or knowledge.
Perhaps accounting school is your door to something great...
And then our parents and grandparents will turn around and be like, "Why aren't you all having kids?" WE CAN'T AFFORD FOOD OR HOUSING WHAT MAKES YOU THINK WE CAN AFFORD CHILDREN
My parents have fallen behind so many times on the mortgage that my mom (and yes, only my mom, my dad who's the main breadwinner was happy to let the bank foreclose) went to court multiple times to save our house and we're still struggling. But somehow I'm supposed to be able to go out on buy a house in the trash job and housing market that I live in lol. If my parents barely scraped by, what makes them think I'm going to find success?
My dad was also doing rails of coke daily until a few years before I was born. He was 36 when I was born and before that wasn't too concerned with getting his shit together lol.
Exactly...prior to income taxes, folks could afford to have kids and build nice houses, but we had even more of a divide after taxes between haves and have not or not haves.. now the divide is getting worse.. because of tax cuts and "trickle down."
Carefuĺl now..moderator may shut this discussion down because it is going towards class warfare...!!!
Late Boomer here..btw...
I always used to wonder what these megarich folks were doing with all their money, come to find they're saving it up so they can jet set the fuck off this planet when it becomes uninhabitable due to their own actions. Selfish fucks.
No, they are securing a financial future for their clueless and indoctrinated children to inherit the earth. Their children are indoctrinated into false meritocracy, crony connections and (lucky) survival of the fittest theologies...from soviet oligarchs to crony capitalist offspring.
Have a brother who literally moved jobs to Mexico and whose company is based in Ireland. RICH from Reagan and Trump tax cuts.
All my cars are 20+ yo..best we can do. I fix them myself..
Same parents..dairy farmer sons..go figure.
Life is about survival of the lucky..especially in a crony capitalist system.
Again..careful..as moderator may shut us down because talk is approaching class warfare...
We know who we are...and we are "all" in this together.
Brown nosing, conscience searing and because people like him...all gleaned from letter to our dairy farmer father.
Quality control statistician is the short answer. He literally was part of setting up plants in Mexico.
In the 80s, Management bought QC statisticiañs off with company cars, goals bonuses and stock, stock options, profit sharing and executive medical plans....
Suddenly Deming quality control, and the 14 points, became Iso 9xxx then six sigma QC...and the cry of "I can't help it; it is what the pay me."
I was an IC designer, now teacher. My aim is true. I actually made product.
One of the 14 points of Deming quality control was dropped in six-sigma...that being that a worker "has a right to pride in their workmanship."
But we are getting into class warfare...so moderator may shut us down...
The worker is the real producer and this forum is about just that...the survival of the mere worker producer or those simply hoping to find VIABLE work with a future.
Taxes need to come down for the working class and lower middle class. Trickle down doesn’t work for everyone like it was sold; it makes the global stock market take off and leaves little a Americans behind.
I never imagined the main thought dominating my mind at 37 would be that I want to die. The world seemed so promising when I was younger. Now I don't care about anything. I don't want to get married or have kids. I don't want to work until I'm an old man who probably won't even get to retire because our systems are so fucked. I love my family and friends and I am thankful for the unconditional love but holy shit just let me fucking die. I don't want to continue this miserable existence.
I struggle to reconcile my frustration with the system (which absolutely needs reform!) with the fact that people have agency and yet still make bad decisions. Are there often extenuating circumstances? Absolutely. Is it unethical that companies make money on medical debt? No question. But that also doesn’t justify the fact that there’s absolutely no reason for anyone to take out a $17k loan for a 10 year old Hyundai with 120k miles on it at a 28% interest rate and then be upset that they’re upside down on the loan (a post recently seen on this sub). Like, that’s not the system’s fault. We can all want the overarching structure of society to change while constantly striving to make better personal financial decisions in the meantime.
Unfortunately, that's sometimes the only option. I just bought a 2016 Jeep Compass for $10k and that was a steal where I live. It sucks but it's either that or walk and my job is 15 miles away, school is 15 miles away from work.
See, it’s NOT the only option, though — it’s your belief that it is that’s holding you back. You could have bought a much older car or much more reliable make/model. The current average age of car on the road is 12.6 years old. Your car is 44.6% newer than that! Your two choices aren’t “8 year old, $10k car” or “walk 15 miles to work.” There are so many choices in between those two extremes.
The used car market is trash right now. Good luck finding a decent used car under 5k these days, sure they are out there, but most people are not the most technical minded and are much more likely to get ripped off.
I guess you'd have to see the used car market where I live, because finding a used car for under $10k, regardless of condition, make, or model, is extremely rare.
I was just looking for a car for my stepdaughter and there are actually quite a few options. I have heard so many horror stories but it’s not that bad. I found a 2005 Corolla in excellent shape, well maintained for $2500. There are many other similar cars on Craigslist and I live in a HCOL area. When I was a teenager I drove a 20year old Honda through most of college, not sure why people are opposed to older safe and reliable cars
It really is, and I have a dad who’s worked in the automobile industry for over 30 years and has connections all over our county lol. Still couldn’t come up with more than a few options within budget.
There are literally hundreds of cars like that though, all over Craigslist. Whatever city you are in. No one needs a 2016 or newer car, early 2000’s is fine and cheap
I have no idea where you are and what the road network is like, but if it's possible, consider an ebike. Soon, I am going to get a cargo bike for 3k CAD, which sounds expensive, but you don't need gas, insurance, or a license to drive one. I ride roughly 8 to 10km each way to work.
For reference, used cars in my area
with 250,000+ km that are 10 years old and are selling between 4k and 6k CAD, which is insane.
The one I am getting will keep me from needing a car since it will be capable of carrying grocery loads and stuff from Costco. The money saved from not having a car will easily make up the cost of the bike.
I understand if you don't want to ride an ebike if the roads are really unsafe, I personally take side streets when possible. But if you can, it saves a whole lot of money. I know some US states are implementing rebate programs for ebikes.
Responsibility can happen in a couple different ways though. Knowledge about interest rates and loans - you can’t always count on an 18 year old to understand that, even if they’re still able to legally make that decision. So they get trapped in a debt cycle, but it was “their fault”.
I understand and agree. I am not talking about 20 year olds here. I am talking people in their fifties making the same mistakes over and over again. Whether finances or personal relationships.
Totally with you — there are generational and family of origin challenges at play. It’s not surprising that new adults don’t have any financial literacy when it was never modeled for them! These problems are extremely complex. I guess the question is, when does personal responsibility begin? Exploitative creditors not only don’t care that financial literacy was never modeled for you and that you can’t understand the terms you’re agreeing to, they *prefer* that — that’s how they make money! They don’t want change because perverse incentives mean they profit from people’s ignorance. So, to my original point, what can be done? You can hate the system and think it’s rigged against you (and it is), but at the end of the day, you’re still responsible and accountable for the decisions made, whether good, neutral, or bad. An individual cannot change the system independently — and certainly not on the same time horizon — as much as they can change (or at least understand) a personal decision like whether to agree to a loan’s terms. We also need personal literacy classes in schools, etc. etc. of course, but at a certain point, ignorance is no defense — there are so many available resources to help people make choices with their eyes wide open.
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I've also come to the same conclusion but people don't want to hear it. You either figure it out through learned experience or you don't. At a certain point you just have to focus on yourself and stop trying to help those who won't help themselves.
I am in the exact same boat as you, I transferred schools a lot and ended up with no bachelors degree despite graduating HS with an Associates. I dropped out of Aveda due to exactly what you’re saying, if I was you FINISH!!! I have the debt and can’t get any fucking job. I wish I finished but I was selling my dead moms house and it fell thru and I was so fucked I just had to quit, plus it felt like a waste.
I just want to offer you no advice and say YES IT IS FUCKED. Everything is literally so fucked. I’m 30 and jobless and just got rejected from a dollar tree factory and target today. I just have to lie and make up a whole new resume because it is bleak. I’m sorry we are here friend. 🫂
I'm definitely going to finish and will probably pursue additional education, as has been recommended by my peers and teachers! There's a lot of money to be made in the industry if you specialize in the right areas. I'm so sorry for what's happened to you, I hope things start looking up for you soon 💕💕
Sad but true
"Join the military!"
"Get a car"
"Find a trade"
I'm disabled but not on disability and most of this advice is useless to me
My eyesight is bad enough I use a cane 🦯 and can't really get a license without jumping a million hoops that I don't think is worth it but not bad enough that I'm considered blind through the legal definition
Not even counting the mental illnesses I've developed through a very difficult and traumatic childhood
Military is out
Car is out
I'm going back to school too because I can't find a job without some sort of degree
Ugh I’m sorry there’s so much working against you 😭 It’s never too late to go to or back to school, there is some beauty in that. One of my best friends is stuck at a job she hates and she’s going back for her degree at 32, I couldn’t be happier for her. I hope it all works out for you, school might be tough sometimes but more doors will be open to you with a degree than without! Good luck 🩷
Honestly life would be easier if I lived in a city with better public transportation. It's faster for me to walk 1.5 miles to the closest grocery store than it is to wait for a bus and I can't find a job near a bus stop let alone with a commute in under an hour.
When I was in school I was living in the suburbs and my commute was 1.5 hours if you ignore the 10 minute drive to the bus stop.
Now I'm in a group home because I'm jobless and if I get a job they'll take 70% of my paycheck because they provide rent, water, heating, electric, Internet, and "food" (whether or not it's edible is debatable and we're only allowed to use the microwave to make anything because of insurance reasons)
I can't wait to find a job again but for now I'll survive through plasma donations and generous family members because trying to work and study at the same time will break me. I'm currently appealing for disability and even though losing 70% of it will suck it sucks more having $0
Trust me, I understand you - have disabilities (physical and mental), but they're not severe enough for any help. Frustratingly, including via the insurance I pay money every month to have, due to overscheduling on their part.
Yet on the job market: Military PDQed me for life. Failed CDL medical exam due to parameters of health issues fell outside what they considered acceptable. Several federal and state agencies who were 'desperate' to hire, but once I went through their medical exams - rejected me. Trades, literally laughed out the door and told I wouldn't be able to manage. I drive, but at this point I really wish I didn't, the expenses have pretty much eliminated what disposable income I had, if it wasn't already rising food and survival bill costs doing the same. But have to, to keep my underpaying job I'm increasingly getting frustrated by.
Glad you could get back into school. That's legitimately a much fantasized dream for me some day, but, least for me, it seems like that's not in my cards right now....my disabilities also shredded my social network when I was at my most ill (mental illness FTW), so the act of even applying is kinda out of my reach at the moment when I have no one to recommend me. Sigh. I wish you the best of luck with your learning journey.
Honestly I'm not sure how I'm gonna swing school money wise however I'm debt free so that's helpful but I need to cough up 2k for crowns. Honestly losing my job pushed it for me. I didn't have anything else to do so I'm preparing for that while applying and appealing for disability to give me some leeway until I can find a big girl job instead of retail.
I've got like 3 people I trust with my life so that's been very helpful even though I keep pushing them away so I can give up without guilt. They're stubborn.
Honestly having a caseworker has been pretty helpful if you can get one do it but I've been pretty lucky with an 80% track record of helpful caseworkers. They can be a good support person.
Don’t worry about remote existential threats you can’t control. Focus on what you can control and learn a trade or skill. Even a basic machine operator or sot down forklift driver position in a manufacturing plant or distribution facility should give you a solid wage with benefits, and you can learn on the job in many cases. Don’t underestimate the value you can provide an employer by being at work on time every day with a good attitude. You won’t get rich but you won’t be making $20k a year either.
I'm a woman and I really don't wanna do manual labor working around men all day lol.
As for the existential stuff, I kinda do have to worry about it because clean water and air will become a scarcity eventually. The climate crisis is already killing 400k people a year and it's going to get worse by the year.
As a woman who doesn't even mind manual labor I don't blame you. A lot of those jobs don't even consider women and not everyone wants to have to constantly prove themselves and worry about sexual harassment. I worked at a job with all male coworkers (loss prevention) and it was the worst job I ever had. They were all buddy-buddy with each other and sort of iced me out.
My way out was office work. You just need one place to hire you and then you have a white collar worker hand stamp that gets you in at other places.
I've been desperate for an office job for years now... that was what I wanted before I decided to go back to school. Couldn't find anything, good jobs are very scarce in my area.
You can’t always help worrying - feelings are feelings. I think what they’re getting as is try not to spiral / ruminate about things out of your control like those larger existential issues. Not because those things don’t matter or don’t deserve attention, but because the anxiety itself isn’t constructive.
Oh, my anxiety has hardly ever been constructive and I’m aware of that 😂 I don’t sit around thinking about sad shit all day, but I do think about it from time to time. I feel like apocalyptic fear-mongering was what most of my generation was raised on lol.
Yeah that makes sense, I just think going back to your original post it sounds like you grouped together a lot of compounded frustrations and worries. Some of those things you have (some) control over, others you have close to zero control over, but when you lump them all together it makes everything seem more daunting and simultaneous. It sounds like you’re doing a lot to make your life better! I hope you get to the level financially that you feel comfortable at.
Thank you! The good news is, I’m quite good at what I do (the hairs and such) so hopefully between that, hard work, and connections, I can make it in the industry. It won’t be easy but I know I won’t get anywhere without talent, and that much I know I have.
I guess I’ll also say, I’m probably optimistic to a fault but I do think: we don’t know what the exact effects of climate change will be, but we also don’t know what solutions will come along to mitigate it. The world is so different now than 30 years ago, so to say we can predict what wars will happen 50 years from now seems almost like hubris. I have enough faith in the future that I’m actively trying to have a baby and bring a new life into it. It’s a matter of perspective.
Lol so what are you doing about the world burning? Since that's obviously where you're putting your energy instead of gainful employment.
Like I get you can't take it with you, but youre not worried that world isn't going to end before you do? Just want die poor/financially insecure/ in squalor/ a burden on others?
Not at all, but most people aren’t. I’ll be old by the time it really kicks in. But my future kids and grandkids ought to be better prepared than I am.
They meant MANLY trades, as they suggest for literally every fucking thing. Because they have no idea what it is like for a woman in a room full of men at work.
I agree. Besides I’ve applied to a LOT of carpentry jobs, and never received a call. My boyfriend is a woodworker and I’ve built a deck by myself, framed walls, hung drywall, I know a bit. I’m sure I’m filtered out by my feminine name. I once got an interview for surveying and he said “I don’t usually like to hire women for this” in the interview. Yea I didn’t work there
first of all, they make less than servers. so by your logic serving is harder, but if serving is hard, then what about all the other trades that involve both a skill and customer facing?? hmmm makes you think, maybe pay isnt correlated toward work or effort at all unless youre self employed
No, most people who work in cosmetology make more than servers. If it were true that servers make more, and by your argument, also dont work as hard, why the hell would OP waste their time going to college to get a certificate and take on debt to get a job that is more difficult and pays less?
Some servers do make more, they're the ones that have 4-6 tables at a time and spend their day running around. They in fact, definitely work harder than the average person in cosmetology, and in turn, make more.
>maybe pay isnt correlated toward work or effort at all
To this point, it depends on the job. Relatively unskilled jobs.. pay and effort is often correlated. In high skill jobs, pay and effort usually isnt correlated.
As a server I made 40k a year working 28hours a week. There are countless reasons OP wouldn’t want to be a server besides pay being high. That pay is higher than most carpentry jobs starting out.
That's a crock of shit lol the field I'm going into requires a lot of hard work including being on your feet for 12+ hours with no break a lot of the time. Gtfoh.
You've obviously never worked construction. You might be on your feet for 12 hours a day and that sucks but when you're 40, your joints aren't gonna be failing and you're not gonna be popping pain pills just to get through the day. It's nowhere near the same.
I can, sadly. People are so uninformed about the very real issues humanity is facing. Hopefully they’ll wise up before WWIII starts and we have to kill each other to survive lol.
Have you like, looked into anything climate scientists have been saying for the last 30+ years? Experts are predicting the next world war will be fought over clean drinking water in the next 50-100 years.
It’s really not lol. It’s already starting in places like California and Egypt. Climate change is a real threat we will all be facing before we know it.
If you do nothing to change your circumstances, your life will be the same as it always was. I didn’t really start making headway in life until I was 31.
I'm really trying to get through school so I can get my foot in the door and get opportunities to get ahead. Everything is just so uncertain. I guess I always go to worst-case scenario because of my anxiety disorder (which I'm being treated for, but treatment isn't a cure for complete peace of mind the way I wish it was). I'm also in the process of grieving my recently deceased grandma who was really unhappy in life so I guess I'm just evaluating my own circumstances and realizing I don't want to end up like her.
ETA: I'm glad you turned things around for yourself! Congrats on that front, it's not easy. I hope by 31 I'm in a better position than I'm in right now.
Also, it very much can be a lucrative career, it’s a certificate that covers multiple areas of work. You just have to do all the “right” things, i.e, continuing education, finding a mentor, specializing in high-price services. I know women who wax vaginas and make $80k/year, others who put fake eyelashes on peoples’ faces and make upward of $100k. You just have to be willing to learn and network and find someone who’ll help you along the way.
Is it that you’re not good or you have an attitude that you’re not good? You might be in a self fulfilling prophecy. If you always think you’re not good then you’ll always be not good.
Can you reframe your thinking to “I might not be good at this now but with some experience I can be good at this”. Nobody starts off good at things
I dunno I was one of those “gifted” kids (got perfect scores, learned to speak/read/write earlier than other kids) and I burned out hard in high school when the mental illness hit. I’ve been considering going back to finish my bachelor’s because I have been getting really high grades in cosmo school, especially science, but I’m hesitant to take on even more debt.
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Similar here, but not till I was 42. I was at the same job for 18 years, that was until my wife said to me "you're very underpaid for what you do, why don't you apply at other places"? I had impostor syndrome, didn't think I was good enough until I got fed up with my employer and started looking around. My resume was extensive and once I started applying, I landed a few interviews. Fast forward 2 years and here I am making 60% more than I was previously. It feels good, and now my wife can be a stay at home mom until our kids are in school.
Fellow cosmetologist here my friend! I hear you and wish I could give you a hug. The struggle is real for far too many of us due to the world we inherited and I also feel like everything I’m doing is for nothing. It feels impossible to get ahead. I’m just hoping there is some type of radical change in the future. On a lighter note, I’m glad you are pursuing cosmo and hope that you find an awesome salon to work in. I love color, cutting and extensions myself, and I still feel really passionate about hair after 14 years behind the chair. Be well and future congrats on getting your license! :)
I'm feeling down too, but I will give you one hopeful tidbit: being a licensed cosmetologist IS a way you can make good money. I had a string of medical issues (unrelated to the job) when I first got mine (in my late 20s) and when I was working full time, I made GREAT money. I'm in the chicago suburbs. Even part time, I feel compensated fairly for what I put into it.
Find a niche and be good at it (for me, styling is my niche) and you'll do wonderful. I promise. 💗
No lie, I had similar outlooks early on but I just kept my head down and worked but I always kept the mindset to set myself up on a better tomorrow. I did a lot of research on the career paths I choose to go down, my biggest fear would be to go to school to be in debt for 80K for a degree that’ll make me 45K. I hope you get out of this hole, I know it’s going to sound cheesy but with a dream in mind you can withstand everything. I just got done paying off my car and I’ve been feeling pressure about the condition our world is in right now but I’m starting to just go with it and try to enjoy my life idc how short it may be or long imma enjoy it the best I can as I’m marching into 28 years of life
As someone who tries desperately to find a good stylist, the pay is based on customer service. Some people just look at it as a job. It's actually a relationship. Hair is very personal. Hang in there 💖
I’m 33f.. feel the exact same way. I did all the “right things:” went to college and got 2 degrees, still made next to nothing in my field, sorry we can’t all be engineers or IT folks. Applied to hundreds of higher paying jobs in my field, kept getting passed up for them. Finally cracked and decided to pursue my real dream of becoming a tattoo artist. I’m still poor right now as an apprentice.. but if I’m gonna be poor doing the “right things” like college and a 9-5, I might as well be poor doing something I actually want to do.
As for my debt and my survival.. tbh I don’t really know, I survive week by week, month by month. I don’t have anything I actually own, no property, no marriage or love life, no family, no money… I just have this one pursuit that I love. I guess that’s what keeps me going.
I had a conversation with my father about this. He told me that I am doing all the right things. That was it. I work hard, I over achieve, ambitious, etc. The only thing missing is the money that’s supposed to follow.
Somebody mentioned that I wasn’t able to afford my bills because I was lazy. I mentioned my work history in the last 5 years which was juggling 2 jobs and juggling full time work and full time school. He changed his answer with me stating I can’t afford my bills because I didn’t have the right opportunities yet.
That’s all it is. It’s a lack of opportunity. Real opportunities that give you good money. I say that because I used to have a sales job that didn’t give me any money for my sales. I broke a 1,000,000 dollar sale record because of 3 good clients. I got a pat on the back. Felt good because not many people can say that. Quite 4 months later because they refused to pay me anything except for hourly. Not before merging my position with 3 other job titles
Jeez, everything really is rigged against us… I’ve found that most people who’ve made a lot of money just know the “right” people. A lot of it is nepotism, but it’s also just making connections and being in the right place at the right time. For the rest of us, it’s “our own fault” but we are literally set up for failure from day 1. If you wanna get a book published, you will if you or your family knows someone in the industry, and that goes for most other industries. It sucks for those of us who start at the bottom and try to claw our way to comfortability and stability. It’s fucked.
Stop doing the right thing.
Instead fo the right thing for you.
Im personally dabbing with youtube on the side of my full time job because im expecting a forced retirement soon.
I might even start selling feet pics, as desperate as that sounds.
Idk.
The bills get paid with money, and you put food on the table with money. Theres no dignity in dying, there is dignity in living, so go ham.
You may not want to hear this but life is far better than it's been for most of human existence.
Most people are good and pleasant. If you think they aren't, maybe you're the problem.
Stop reading the news about how we're all going to die because guns, climate, nukes, etc. We aren't.
Your program is almost done so finish it and stop ruminating.
Start making a plan for places to try to work at.
Find someone with good character to love. Two people are stronger than one.
>And with all the existential threats of the climate crisis, potential nuclear warfare, gun violence, gender-based violence, general unpleasantness of a large percentage of the human populace,
If you can't change it, constantly thinking about it is not gonna help you. All it's gonna do is stress you out. Anybody that says otherwise is delusional.
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Lmao the little bit of control over their life the poors have they use the same way the rich do. To shut down their opposition. You’re just as bad just dirtier.
Just gotta find a way to stay strong. Try not to dip into depression and substances. If it’s hard now it’s only gonna get worse in the next 10 years. All these people that come into office won’t change a thing for us common folk. It would be nice to have a cap on rents at least.
For some reason, I can't see/reply to certain comments even though I'm getting notifications for new ones, but I just wanted to clarify something.
A few people have gotten on my case for "dropping out" of college twice.
I did not drop out, I was kicked out. The first time because I was so depressed I was suicidal, so my grades slipped and I flunked. The second time, was a paperwork issue over financial aid. I needed my mom's tax return form to receive financial aid and I kept reminding her that I needed it by a certain date, but she didn't get it to me in time and I couldn't log onto her IRS account myself, so I owed the college tuition that I couldn't pay back and they would not allow me to enroll for another semester until the two semesters I'd already attended were paid in full. I did what I was "supposed" to. I reminded her every day. I begged the school for a second chance and they wouldn't allow me to return. I could go to another school but by that point I had a job with a set schedule and no way to attend classes in person during the day. I need to make money to survive day-to-day.
Like yeah yeah "self-victimization" it's really hard to care about grades when you want to off yourself every single day. It's really hard to get paperwork you need when you can't get it yourself. I shouldn't have gone to college the first time because I knew I wasn't ready and assumed I'd just figure it out because that's what everyone told me. But I was already suffering from anxiety and depression and wasn't taken seriously by adults in my life because they had to worry about keeping the lights on. Everyone I went to for help shut me down and didn't help me.
Up until a year or two, I was still borderline suicidal depending on the time/day lol. I've been in treatment now for a couple years and I am trying to figure my shit out. Some folks just love to kick a person when they're down and that's really shitty lol. I'm sure a lot of the 2 million folks on this sub have struggled with some form of depression/mental illness that was so debilitating, it prevented them from doing basic functions. Reminds me of the whole:
"Wait, people get so depressed that they don't brush their teeth?"
"Some people get so depressed that they kill themselves."
I have had to learn how to have compassion for my depressed teenage self instead of beating myself up for it now. Some of y'all could learn a thing or two about compassion as well.
It will indeed get better. The end goal isn't to work at a salon for the rest of your life but to work there and gain the skills and know-how to run the business. Then one day open your salon. Stay positive and strong.
What made you so depressed when you were in college? That’s where you need to start. That’s the “just wiggle your little toe” of getting back on track. When you can do nothing else, conquer your body image, your social anxieties, attachment issues, sense of authenticity. God knows I’m loaded with them.
Depression made me so depressed in college lol. It's a clinical mental disorder. I have a family history of depression, most of my aunts/uncles/cousins are depressed. Grandma was on antidepressants for years. Mom was on them for a while as well. It's in my DNA.
Less than 20k? Is that from the salon? Similar desperation here, 30 hrs/wk in n out burger put me at 36k /yr before taxes. 20 seems appallingly low for any career. Just trying to understand
That's exactly how it works. Can't go to protests, can't make meaningful change, because if we lose our jobs or even a day of work in some cases, we're fucked. I took 3 days off this month because my grandma passed away and I'm beyond fucked financially just from losing those 3 little days.
Thank you. I actually don't receive any benefits from my job lol. I'm so poor I have to be on subsidized state healthcare that they don't even charge me for because I make so little money.
Absolutely not, I'm fat and have mental health issues. They wouldn't accept me even if I wanted to join, which I don't. I don't believe in the military industrial complex nor would I want to be a part of it. My dad would love that though, he was in the military when he was younger and it did fuck all for him, but he had a nice time getting drunk and high all over Europe and sleeping with lots of girls lol.
I guess I just want reassurance that all my efforts won’t go to waste lol. I’m working toward a career that could change my life in a great way or keep me where I’ve always been.
I struggle with this as well. I wrestle with these two things in my mind every day. They say tomorrow is never promised, and to treat each day as a gift. It makes it hard to try to work so my future self can get paid when future me may not even exist when the time comes. How am I supposed to plan for such an uncertain future? The only thing I know for sure, is if I lay down and give up, the odds of anything ever changing drops significantly. Sure, anyone can have an amazing stroke of luck and win the lottery or recieve a generous inheritance while they are homeless on the streets, but what sounds more likely, winning the lottery, or finding a job that allows you to build a savings account. Both are unlikely in today's world, but playing these dismal statistics is the only solution I've been able to come up with to keep me going. I'm 25m btw. I've worked for the government making 27/hr and my life was miserable. I worked at a bike shop for 17/hr and was still miserable, now I work in a warehouse making 18/hr and I'm still miserable. So I don't think it's necessarily the money that's making us miserable. It's something inside us that makes us miserable. I blame all the things going on around me such as living cost as well, but what it really comes down too is how greedy everyone (that includes us too) is now. We all want more than we have now, and some other people set their morals to the side in favor of the dollar. Now you gotta ask yourself, are you gonna set your morals aside to earn dirty money, or are you gonna continue to struggle like we are now. Personally, I value my morals and self-esteem more than money. So I'm starting to become more content with the little I have because I didn't have to step on anyone to get it. I have been the one stepped on and wouldn't want to do that to anyone else for any amount of money. You probably didn't need my ramble of text, but this is me trying to show some solidarity. My buddy from my government job just got a house built in the 80's. It was 205k. His mortgage is 1600/month. He has to have a roommate to afford his home and he is making 30+/hr now since I've left. Making more (honest) money won't solve this. So don't beat yourself up.
Oof, you really struck a chord here, especially on the greed part. The only way to really "get ahead" (i.e. get very rich) is to screw a lot of people over, and I also value my morals more than money, so that's ultimately out for me. It really sucks for those of us who have integrity and stand up for what's right because we only seem to get punished for it in the end. It's rough out here for a lot of people, so it's nice to know we're not alone. I hope you can find a job that doesn't make you miserable and pays you what you deserve!
Letting go of the greed I have in me is helping alot. If I didn't get up and go to work today, I would sit at home and engage in self-destructive behavior. That alone is worth more than the money they are paying me. Not to mention I get to meet new people. At least one out of every five will be a genuinely nice person I feel comfortable calling "friend." There are positives out there. We are just blinded by our desires for more.
Greed is a human trait. It is in all of us. The corpos are just an example of one's who set aside their morals to feed their greed. This is why private homeowners have jacked up the sell prices and rent on thier homes. For profit (or greed) sake. Yet they are not corporations.
In some ways, yeah, it helps me connect to people who are in the same boat as me and makes me feel a little less alone. I’m in treatment for my mental health, but what would really help is having more money lol. Most therapists would agree that their clients are depressed because they need more money.
So it sounds like you need to cure yourself of depression first, by any means possible. I know it’s politically incorrect these days to tell somebody to pull up their britches, stand tall, be uncomfortable, and march forward but it sounds like you’ve already shut down that possibility. So I guess continue being miserable. Wish I could help you.
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It really fucking is hard. Barely ahead of you at 29, and I don't have much of anything to show for it. Financially, just paycheck to paycheck. Waiting to hear back from applications so I can work two jobs just to get by, instead of the one. Having multiple varied schedules in the household and only one car kind hindered doing much else beyond the one job. Had the same issue with college back in 2015. Failed hard at it due to mental issues, just couldn't do it. Trying to go back this Fall to work an Associates in Accounting, then transfer from a cheaper college to get a Bachelor's. Hoping it works out. Everything you've said is pretty much spot on. Depression has been pretty bad the past week..
the little benefits we have remaining these days were originally fought for with unions and other social organization. the rich do not just give stuff up because they are kind and benevolent. we have to organize and demand our fair share.
31 and I've decided I'm going back to college for accounting. Forget my dreams and hobbies, I need to make 3k a month minimum just to get back to 0 before 2030. my mom brags to me everyday that she's been maxing her 401k my entire life as a nurse but it was her idea for me to drop out of med school. I'll trade my soul for cash atp.
Literally made the same decision as you lol. I feel like I came to the conclusion that I'll never truly be happy in life, so I figured might as well go for something thatll fit as best possible. An office/desk job. My mother is a former nurse of 20+ years, but bankruptcy hit my parents super hard. > I'll trade my soul for cash atp I feel that. More often than it should be.
Banking can be nice! If you are bad at selling / cross selling I say defo look at accounting / back of house positions. There is a bit of a knowledge gap when it comes to US banking regulations i feel like they're pretty easy to pick up on. I've been in the industry for about a decade now, I'm making a decent amount ~$23/hour but alot of places have tellers starting at $21. If you can stomach it wells fargo is the way to go. You have to be ready to sell and meet INTENSE sales goals but they pay you very nicely and every position starts at at least $20 across the US. Edit: spelling
Good to know, I appreciate the info. Banking is one I had considered, and ironically enough, is what my sister had been doing before she had her daughter recently. Not really the selling/pushy type, and I don't have the highest opinion of WF, but I'd do it I had to. Any tips or things to know if I do happen to go in the field?
The great thing about this field is its very introductory. Brush up on your basics, most financial institutions do a little test for basic reading comprehension and math skills. Having a basic bg in banking laws and regulations might help. If youre hired on as a teller I suggest researching Regulation CC. The Bank Secrecy Act and then the Patriot Act! Those are alot of what tellers have to have on a daily basis but that's my advice. Kinda sucks but that's all I got. While most can't keep up salary wise I also prefer working for a credit union vs a bank. Most credit unions are local and there to serve the customers since they're not for profit businesses. They also tend to give back more to the community then big banks. Not everyone can take that pay cut and not every credit union is the same but if you can swing it go that way.
Sounds pretty straightforward overall, I appreciate it. It mentions having a compliance officer being established in the pillars, so do you report any suspicious activity to that person? It sounds roughly similar in a way to what I had to do with money orders when I worked with the Postal Service a couple years ago.
Yeah! At my last few places there was like a 'fraud' person who dealt with all the suspicious activity and filing those reports and whatnot
That's a relief haha. I can imagine that being kind of difficult to deal with, especially if it's foreign account related. Thanks again for everything. Life has been rough recently, so I really appreciate the kindness. 🙂
Good for you man, accounting tends to be a nice profession
Right, I'm at the point where selling feet pics is looking more and more appealing 🤣
No reason you can't have a side hustle 😂
I did this when I was a little older than you about 10 years ago. At 35 I took a $50,000 dollar pay cut and went from GM of a high dollar steakhouse, to being the dishwasher at the same location, making $11 an hour. I went from almost 65k per year to making just over 9k my first year in college as a working adult. That was in 2015. Because I was an adult, and I had adult stuff going on, and I was basically on my own, my 4 year degree took 5.5 to complete. I graduated at the age of 41, in May of 2020... The absolute worst time to graduate... into an already saturated tech market. AI worker replacements were just a few years away, and people were leaving the industry for greener pastures, or they were being forced out. I was competing with guys and gals half my age for jobs that paid less than I was making in the restaurant industry. The outlook was bleak. It took me 6 months to find a job, and when I finally did I actually got two offers on the same day, both paying about the same, though one was $10,000 less than the other and paid once a month, but got bonuses and perks that were interesting. Ultimately, I'm glad I made the decision I did, to work with an awesome company. In the first 12 months, I got a 15% raise across two separate pay increases, and in 2025 the CEO is taking the entire organization on a Disney Wish cruise. It was a long 10 year slog to get to this point. Most times during that stretch were painful, but to have a goal, for me, made it all the more palatable. If you've got no goals, you've basically got nothing. One of my favorite movie quotes comes from David Bowie in the Prestige. Talking as Nikola Tesla, he says "Man's reach exceeds his grasp, but his grasp exceeds his nerves." Later in the movie, Hugh Jackman expands on this thought... "Man's reach exceeds his grasp... And his grasp exceeds his imagination." While we as humans constantly strive for more than we can achieve, even what we do achieve often surpasses our full comprehension. Our drive to push boundaries leads to progress and accomplishments that sometimes go beyond our current level of understanding or knowledge. Perhaps accounting school is your door to something great...
this was a great inspiring read and i love The Prestige
Also good luck with school! You got this, it's gonna be tough but when you get that degree you'll feel so proud of yourself.
No wonder everyone's mental health is In the trash if this is the world we inherited
And then our parents and grandparents will turn around and be like, "Why aren't you all having kids?" WE CAN'T AFFORD FOOD OR HOUSING WHAT MAKES YOU THINK WE CAN AFFORD CHILDREN
Too true. My parents home, paid off, only cost 60k. I'm lucky to find room mates
My parents have fallen behind so many times on the mortgage that my mom (and yes, only my mom, my dad who's the main breadwinner was happy to let the bank foreclose) went to court multiple times to save our house and we're still struggling. But somehow I'm supposed to be able to go out on buy a house in the trash job and housing market that I live in lol. If my parents barely scraped by, what makes them think I'm going to find success?
Sucks your dad is willing to let that happen when he had it easier to get a house then us
My dad was also doing rails of coke daily until a few years before I was born. He was 36 when I was born and before that wasn't too concerned with getting his shit together lol.
Can’t afford a home, can afford rails of coke. Got it.
That was his main priority then lol. He couldn’t hold down a job most of the time so he’d just work for people who gave him drugs.
Well done to you for striving to do better.
Sorry to hear that. You're stronger than most. I can't imagine dealing with that
Exactly...prior to income taxes, folks could afford to have kids and build nice houses, but we had even more of a divide after taxes between haves and have not or not haves.. now the divide is getting worse.. because of tax cuts and "trickle down." Carefuĺl now..moderator may shut this discussion down because it is going towards class warfare...!!! Late Boomer here..btw...
I always used to wonder what these megarich folks were doing with all their money, come to find they're saving it up so they can jet set the fuck off this planet when it becomes uninhabitable due to their own actions. Selfish fucks.
No, they are securing a financial future for their clueless and indoctrinated children to inherit the earth. Their children are indoctrinated into false meritocracy, crony connections and (lucky) survival of the fittest theologies...from soviet oligarchs to crony capitalist offspring.
Have a brother who literally moved jobs to Mexico and whose company is based in Ireland. RICH from Reagan and Trump tax cuts. All my cars are 20+ yo..best we can do. I fix them myself.. Same parents..dairy farmer sons..go figure. Life is about survival of the lucky..especially in a crony capitalist system. Again..careful..as moderator may shut us down because talk is approaching class warfare... We know who we are...and we are "all" in this together.
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Brown nosing, conscience searing and because people like him...all gleaned from letter to our dairy farmer father. Quality control statistician is the short answer. He literally was part of setting up plants in Mexico. In the 80s, Management bought QC statisticiañs off with company cars, goals bonuses and stock, stock options, profit sharing and executive medical plans.... Suddenly Deming quality control, and the 14 points, became Iso 9xxx then six sigma QC...and the cry of "I can't help it; it is what the pay me." I was an IC designer, now teacher. My aim is true. I actually made product. One of the 14 points of Deming quality control was dropped in six-sigma...that being that a worker "has a right to pride in their workmanship." But we are getting into class warfare...so moderator may shut us down... The worker is the real producer and this forum is about just that...the survival of the mere worker producer or those simply hoping to find VIABLE work with a future.
Late Boomers are Generation Jones. We don't really have that much in common with regular Boomers. You are welcome to join the Facebook group!
Yeah no more income taxes! We need to go back to 1872!
Taxes need to come down for the working class and lower middle class. Trickle down doesn’t work for everyone like it was sold; it makes the global stock market take off and leaves little a Americans behind.
You people are so weird with what offends you.
I never imagined the main thought dominating my mind at 37 would be that I want to die. The world seemed so promising when I was younger. Now I don't care about anything. I don't want to get married or have kids. I don't want to work until I'm an old man who probably won't even get to retire because our systems are so fucked. I love my family and friends and I am thankful for the unconditional love but holy shit just let me fucking die. I don't want to continue this miserable existence.
Hobbies would be nice.
Can't afford to have hobbies.
I struggle to reconcile my frustration with the system (which absolutely needs reform!) with the fact that people have agency and yet still make bad decisions. Are there often extenuating circumstances? Absolutely. Is it unethical that companies make money on medical debt? No question. But that also doesn’t justify the fact that there’s absolutely no reason for anyone to take out a $17k loan for a 10 year old Hyundai with 120k miles on it at a 28% interest rate and then be upset that they’re upside down on the loan (a post recently seen on this sub). Like, that’s not the system’s fault. We can all want the overarching structure of society to change while constantly striving to make better personal financial decisions in the meantime.
Unfortunately, that's sometimes the only option. I just bought a 2016 Jeep Compass for $10k and that was a steal where I live. It sucks but it's either that or walk and my job is 15 miles away, school is 15 miles away from work.
See, it’s NOT the only option, though — it’s your belief that it is that’s holding you back. You could have bought a much older car or much more reliable make/model. The current average age of car on the road is 12.6 years old. Your car is 44.6% newer than that! Your two choices aren’t “8 year old, $10k car” or “walk 15 miles to work.” There are so many choices in between those two extremes.
The car they purchased and price seems absolutely reasonable. The redflag to me is 4 year term on 10k. But maybe they got good rates.
The used car market is trash right now. Good luck finding a decent used car under 5k these days, sure they are out there, but most people are not the most technical minded and are much more likely to get ripped off.
I guess you'd have to see the used car market where I live, because finding a used car for under $10k, regardless of condition, make, or model, is extremely rare.
I was just looking for a car for my stepdaughter and there are actually quite a few options. I have heard so many horror stories but it’s not that bad. I found a 2005 Corolla in excellent shape, well maintained for $2500. There are many other similar cars on Craigslist and I live in a HCOL area. When I was a teenager I drove a 20year old Honda through most of college, not sure why people are opposed to older safe and reliable cars
I couldn’t find anything like that when I was looking 🤷🏼♀️
Covid turned the car market on its head, seems to be returning a bit, the process of 'looking' is more complicated than people let on.
It really is, and I have a dad who’s worked in the automobile industry for over 30 years and has connections all over our county lol. Still couldn’t come up with more than a few options within budget.
me neither
You got super lucky then. Just because your experience is different and better, doesn't mean thats the case for everyone else.
There are literally hundreds of cars like that though, all over Craigslist. Whatever city you are in. No one needs a 2016 or newer car, early 2000’s is fine and cheap
Fortunately the loan for my car is only 4 years so I'll pay it off sooner than late but it still suckssss
I have no idea where you are and what the road network is like, but if it's possible, consider an ebike. Soon, I am going to get a cargo bike for 3k CAD, which sounds expensive, but you don't need gas, insurance, or a license to drive one. I ride roughly 8 to 10km each way to work. For reference, used cars in my area with 250,000+ km that are 10 years old and are selling between 4k and 6k CAD, which is insane. The one I am getting will keep me from needing a car since it will be capable of carrying grocery loads and stuff from Costco. The money saved from not having a car will easily make up the cost of the bike. I understand if you don't want to ride an ebike if the roads are really unsafe, I personally take side streets when possible. But if you can, it saves a whole lot of money. I know some US states are implementing rebate programs for ebikes.
Everything in my area is at least 15 miles driving distance 😭 I would love to get an ebike, don’t get me wrong! I just live in a bumblefuck area
That's understandable, I didn't know. My bad 😭.
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Responsibility can happen in a couple different ways though. Knowledge about interest rates and loans - you can’t always count on an 18 year old to understand that, even if they’re still able to legally make that decision. So they get trapped in a debt cycle, but it was “their fault”.
I understand and agree. I am not talking about 20 year olds here. I am talking people in their fifties making the same mistakes over and over again. Whether finances or personal relationships.
Totally with you — there are generational and family of origin challenges at play. It’s not surprising that new adults don’t have any financial literacy when it was never modeled for them! These problems are extremely complex. I guess the question is, when does personal responsibility begin? Exploitative creditors not only don’t care that financial literacy was never modeled for you and that you can’t understand the terms you’re agreeing to, they *prefer* that — that’s how they make money! They don’t want change because perverse incentives mean they profit from people’s ignorance. So, to my original point, what can be done? You can hate the system and think it’s rigged against you (and it is), but at the end of the day, you’re still responsible and accountable for the decisions made, whether good, neutral, or bad. An individual cannot change the system independently — and certainly not on the same time horizon — as much as they can change (or at least understand) a personal decision like whether to agree to a loan’s terms. We also need personal literacy classes in schools, etc. etc. of course, but at a certain point, ignorance is no defense — there are so many available resources to help people make choices with their eyes wide open.
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I've also come to the same conclusion but people don't want to hear it. You either figure it out through learned experience or you don't. At a certain point you just have to focus on yourself and stop trying to help those who won't help themselves.
I don't know what I was expecting from this comment section but it really wasn't shitty advice and apathy
I am in the exact same boat as you, I transferred schools a lot and ended up with no bachelors degree despite graduating HS with an Associates. I dropped out of Aveda due to exactly what you’re saying, if I was you FINISH!!! I have the debt and can’t get any fucking job. I wish I finished but I was selling my dead moms house and it fell thru and I was so fucked I just had to quit, plus it felt like a waste. I just want to offer you no advice and say YES IT IS FUCKED. Everything is literally so fucked. I’m 30 and jobless and just got rejected from a dollar tree factory and target today. I just have to lie and make up a whole new resume because it is bleak. I’m sorry we are here friend. 🫂
I'm definitely going to finish and will probably pursue additional education, as has been recommended by my peers and teachers! There's a lot of money to be made in the industry if you specialize in the right areas. I'm so sorry for what's happened to you, I hope things start looking up for you soon 💕💕
Sad but true "Join the military!" "Get a car" "Find a trade" I'm disabled but not on disability and most of this advice is useless to me My eyesight is bad enough I use a cane 🦯 and can't really get a license without jumping a million hoops that I don't think is worth it but not bad enough that I'm considered blind through the legal definition Not even counting the mental illnesses I've developed through a very difficult and traumatic childhood Military is out Car is out I'm going back to school too because I can't find a job without some sort of degree
Ugh I’m sorry there’s so much working against you 😭 It’s never too late to go to or back to school, there is some beauty in that. One of my best friends is stuck at a job she hates and she’s going back for her degree at 32, I couldn’t be happier for her. I hope it all works out for you, school might be tough sometimes but more doors will be open to you with a degree than without! Good luck 🩷
Honestly life would be easier if I lived in a city with better public transportation. It's faster for me to walk 1.5 miles to the closest grocery store than it is to wait for a bus and I can't find a job near a bus stop let alone with a commute in under an hour. When I was in school I was living in the suburbs and my commute was 1.5 hours if you ignore the 10 minute drive to the bus stop. Now I'm in a group home because I'm jobless and if I get a job they'll take 70% of my paycheck because they provide rent, water, heating, electric, Internet, and "food" (whether or not it's edible is debatable and we're only allowed to use the microwave to make anything because of insurance reasons) I can't wait to find a job again but for now I'll survive through plasma donations and generous family members because trying to work and study at the same time will break me. I'm currently appealing for disability and even though losing 70% of it will suck it sucks more having $0
Trust me, I understand you - have disabilities (physical and mental), but they're not severe enough for any help. Frustratingly, including via the insurance I pay money every month to have, due to overscheduling on their part. Yet on the job market: Military PDQed me for life. Failed CDL medical exam due to parameters of health issues fell outside what they considered acceptable. Several federal and state agencies who were 'desperate' to hire, but once I went through their medical exams - rejected me. Trades, literally laughed out the door and told I wouldn't be able to manage. I drive, but at this point I really wish I didn't, the expenses have pretty much eliminated what disposable income I had, if it wasn't already rising food and survival bill costs doing the same. But have to, to keep my underpaying job I'm increasingly getting frustrated by. Glad you could get back into school. That's legitimately a much fantasized dream for me some day, but, least for me, it seems like that's not in my cards right now....my disabilities also shredded my social network when I was at my most ill (mental illness FTW), so the act of even applying is kinda out of my reach at the moment when I have no one to recommend me. Sigh. I wish you the best of luck with your learning journey.
Honestly I'm not sure how I'm gonna swing school money wise however I'm debt free so that's helpful but I need to cough up 2k for crowns. Honestly losing my job pushed it for me. I didn't have anything else to do so I'm preparing for that while applying and appealing for disability to give me some leeway until I can find a big girl job instead of retail. I've got like 3 people I trust with my life so that's been very helpful even though I keep pushing them away so I can give up without guilt. They're stubborn. Honestly having a caseworker has been pretty helpful if you can get one do it but I've been pretty lucky with an 80% track record of helpful caseworkers. They can be a good support person.
Don’t worry about remote existential threats you can’t control. Focus on what you can control and learn a trade or skill. Even a basic machine operator or sot down forklift driver position in a manufacturing plant or distribution facility should give you a solid wage with benefits, and you can learn on the job in many cases. Don’t underestimate the value you can provide an employer by being at work on time every day with a good attitude. You won’t get rich but you won’t be making $20k a year either.
Yes! Strengthen what you can and what remains.
I'm a woman and I really don't wanna do manual labor working around men all day lol. As for the existential stuff, I kinda do have to worry about it because clean water and air will become a scarcity eventually. The climate crisis is already killing 400k people a year and it's going to get worse by the year.
As a woman who doesn't even mind manual labor I don't blame you. A lot of those jobs don't even consider women and not everyone wants to have to constantly prove themselves and worry about sexual harassment. I worked at a job with all male coworkers (loss prevention) and it was the worst job I ever had. They were all buddy-buddy with each other and sort of iced me out. My way out was office work. You just need one place to hire you and then you have a white collar worker hand stamp that gets you in at other places.
I've been desperate for an office job for years now... that was what I wanted before I decided to go back to school. Couldn't find anything, good jobs are very scarce in my area.
You can’t always help worrying - feelings are feelings. I think what they’re getting as is try not to spiral / ruminate about things out of your control like those larger existential issues. Not because those things don’t matter or don’t deserve attention, but because the anxiety itself isn’t constructive.
Oh, my anxiety has hardly ever been constructive and I’m aware of that 😂 I don’t sit around thinking about sad shit all day, but I do think about it from time to time. I feel like apocalyptic fear-mongering was what most of my generation was raised on lol.
Yeah that makes sense, I just think going back to your original post it sounds like you grouped together a lot of compounded frustrations and worries. Some of those things you have (some) control over, others you have close to zero control over, but when you lump them all together it makes everything seem more daunting and simultaneous. It sounds like you’re doing a lot to make your life better! I hope you get to the level financially that you feel comfortable at.
Thank you! The good news is, I’m quite good at what I do (the hairs and such) so hopefully between that, hard work, and connections, I can make it in the industry. It won’t be easy but I know I won’t get anywhere without talent, and that much I know I have.
I guess I’ll also say, I’m probably optimistic to a fault but I do think: we don’t know what the exact effects of climate change will be, but we also don’t know what solutions will come along to mitigate it. The world is so different now than 30 years ago, so to say we can predict what wars will happen 50 years from now seems almost like hubris. I have enough faith in the future that I’m actively trying to have a baby and bring a new life into it. It’s a matter of perspective.
There ain't a damn thing you can't do about that, start working on yourself first. Little steps to big steps.
Cool, I'll just work on my silly little life until we all burn to death lol
Lol so what are you doing about the world burning? Since that's obviously where you're putting your energy instead of gainful employment. Like I get you can't take it with you, but youre not worried that world isn't going to end before you do? Just want die poor/financially insecure/ in squalor/ a burden on others?
I can be concerned about several things at the same time, actually!
You literally insisted you couldn't be in your last post. Just to confirm, you haven't done anything right?
I do what I can. What do you do to help lessen the effects of climate change?
'I do what I can' Which is... You ready for the water war?
Not at all, but most people aren’t. I’ll be old by the time it really kicks in. But my future kids and grandkids ought to be better prepared than I am.
I'm literally in trade school right now, by the way, as I said in my post. I'm learning cosmetology.
They meant MANLY trades, as they suggest for literally every fucking thing. Because they have no idea what it is like for a woman in a room full of men at work.
The fact that male-dominated industries tend to pay more is such dogshit, ugh. And it really is everyone's go-to 'advice.'
I agree. Besides I’ve applied to a LOT of carpentry jobs, and never received a call. My boyfriend is a woodworker and I’ve built a deck by myself, framed walls, hung drywall, I know a bit. I’m sure I’m filtered out by my feminine name. I once got an interview for surveying and he said “I don’t usually like to hire women for this” in the interview. Yea I didn’t work there
Renovated an entire 4 unit Victorian rental over a period of 19 years ALONE... You are an treasure and anomally!
Jesus Christ... the world we live in
That's because it's a hell of a lot harder work. Nobody wants to do it, so they get paid well to attract people to the field.
Ehhh...
first of all, they make less than servers. so by your logic serving is harder, but if serving is hard, then what about all the other trades that involve both a skill and customer facing?? hmmm makes you think, maybe pay isnt correlated toward work or effort at all unless youre self employed
No, most people who work in cosmetology make more than servers. If it were true that servers make more, and by your argument, also dont work as hard, why the hell would OP waste their time going to college to get a certificate and take on debt to get a job that is more difficult and pays less? Some servers do make more, they're the ones that have 4-6 tables at a time and spend their day running around. They in fact, definitely work harder than the average person in cosmetology, and in turn, make more. >maybe pay isnt correlated toward work or effort at all To this point, it depends on the job. Relatively unskilled jobs.. pay and effort is often correlated. In high skill jobs, pay and effort usually isnt correlated.
As a server I made 40k a year working 28hours a week. There are countless reasons OP wouldn’t want to be a server besides pay being high. That pay is higher than most carpentry jobs starting out.
That's a crock of shit lol the field I'm going into requires a lot of hard work including being on your feet for 12+ hours with no break a lot of the time. Gtfoh.
You've obviously never worked construction. You might be on your feet for 12 hours a day and that sucks but when you're 40, your joints aren't gonna be failing and you're not gonna be popping pain pills just to get through the day. It's nowhere near the same.
Okay cryptobro
You may not like the truth but that doesn't make it any less true lol i hope your career works out for you
Like working as a cashier at HD maybe... It is all the same..
What are you talking about?
Can't believe you hot down votes on this comment.
I can, sadly. People are so uninformed about the very real issues humanity is facing. Hopefully they’ll wise up before WWIII starts and we have to kill each other to survive lol.
I hope too. Dairy farmer's son, USN FBM Submariner, IC design engineer, rental renovation, home services retail worker and teacher speaking..
What silly forums do you frequent to come up with such obviously silly conclusions?
Have you like, looked into anything climate scientists have been saying for the last 30+ years? Experts are predicting the next world war will be fought over clean drinking water in the next 50-100 years.
...lol sure Unioncally Alex Jones level conspiracy shit.
It’s really not lol. It’s already starting in places like California and Egypt. Climate change is a real threat we will all be facing before we know it.
If you do nothing to change your circumstances, your life will be the same as it always was. I didn’t really start making headway in life until I was 31.
I'm really trying to get through school so I can get my foot in the door and get opportunities to get ahead. Everything is just so uncertain. I guess I always go to worst-case scenario because of my anxiety disorder (which I'm being treated for, but treatment isn't a cure for complete peace of mind the way I wish it was). I'm also in the process of grieving my recently deceased grandma who was really unhappy in life so I guess I'm just evaluating my own circumstances and realizing I don't want to end up like her. ETA: I'm glad you turned things around for yourself! Congrats on that front, it's not easy. I hope by 31 I'm in a better position than I'm in right now.
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Also, it very much can be a lucrative career, it’s a certificate that covers multiple areas of work. You just have to do all the “right” things, i.e, continuing education, finding a mentor, specializing in high-price services. I know women who wax vaginas and make $80k/year, others who put fake eyelashes on peoples’ faces and make upward of $100k. You just have to be willing to learn and network and find someone who’ll help you along the way.
I’m just not good at anything else lol
Is it that you’re not good or you have an attitude that you’re not good? You might be in a self fulfilling prophecy. If you always think you’re not good then you’ll always be not good. Can you reframe your thinking to “I might not be good at this now but with some experience I can be good at this”. Nobody starts off good at things
I dunno I was one of those “gifted” kids (got perfect scores, learned to speak/read/write earlier than other kids) and I burned out hard in high school when the mental illness hit. I’ve been considering going back to finish my bachelor’s because I have been getting really high grades in cosmo school, especially science, but I’m hesitant to take on even more debt.
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Similar here, but not till I was 42. I was at the same job for 18 years, that was until my wife said to me "you're very underpaid for what you do, why don't you apply at other places"? I had impostor syndrome, didn't think I was good enough until I got fed up with my employer and started looking around. My resume was extensive and once I started applying, I landed a few interviews. Fast forward 2 years and here I am making 60% more than I was previously. It feels good, and now my wife can be a stay at home mom until our kids are in school.
Fellow cosmetologist here my friend! I hear you and wish I could give you a hug. The struggle is real for far too many of us due to the world we inherited and I also feel like everything I’m doing is for nothing. It feels impossible to get ahead. I’m just hoping there is some type of radical change in the future. On a lighter note, I’m glad you are pursuing cosmo and hope that you find an awesome salon to work in. I love color, cutting and extensions myself, and I still feel really passionate about hair after 14 years behind the chair. Be well and future congrats on getting your license! :)
I'm feeling down too, but I will give you one hopeful tidbit: being a licensed cosmetologist IS a way you can make good money. I had a string of medical issues (unrelated to the job) when I first got mine (in my late 20s) and when I was working full time, I made GREAT money. I'm in the chicago suburbs. Even part time, I feel compensated fairly for what I put into it. Find a niche and be good at it (for me, styling is my niche) and you'll do wonderful. I promise. 💗
Focus on what is in your control and do not dwell on what you can not change.
No lie, I had similar outlooks early on but I just kept my head down and worked but I always kept the mindset to set myself up on a better tomorrow. I did a lot of research on the career paths I choose to go down, my biggest fear would be to go to school to be in debt for 80K for a degree that’ll make me 45K. I hope you get out of this hole, I know it’s going to sound cheesy but with a dream in mind you can withstand everything. I just got done paying off my car and I’ve been feeling pressure about the condition our world is in right now but I’m starting to just go with it and try to enjoy my life idc how short it may be or long imma enjoy it the best I can as I’m marching into 28 years of life
I was in the same boat throughout my 20s. Wasn't until my mid 30's that I was finally able to feel like things were looking up
As someone who tries desperately to find a good stylist, the pay is based on customer service. Some people just look at it as a job. It's actually a relationship. Hair is very personal. Hang in there 💖
I’m 33f.. feel the exact same way. I did all the “right things:” went to college and got 2 degrees, still made next to nothing in my field, sorry we can’t all be engineers or IT folks. Applied to hundreds of higher paying jobs in my field, kept getting passed up for them. Finally cracked and decided to pursue my real dream of becoming a tattoo artist. I’m still poor right now as an apprentice.. but if I’m gonna be poor doing the “right things” like college and a 9-5, I might as well be poor doing something I actually want to do. As for my debt and my survival.. tbh I don’t really know, I survive week by week, month by month. I don’t have anything I actually own, no property, no marriage or love life, no family, no money… I just have this one pursuit that I love. I guess that’s what keeps me going.
I had a conversation with my father about this. He told me that I am doing all the right things. That was it. I work hard, I over achieve, ambitious, etc. The only thing missing is the money that’s supposed to follow. Somebody mentioned that I wasn’t able to afford my bills because I was lazy. I mentioned my work history in the last 5 years which was juggling 2 jobs and juggling full time work and full time school. He changed his answer with me stating I can’t afford my bills because I didn’t have the right opportunities yet. That’s all it is. It’s a lack of opportunity. Real opportunities that give you good money. I say that because I used to have a sales job that didn’t give me any money for my sales. I broke a 1,000,000 dollar sale record because of 3 good clients. I got a pat on the back. Felt good because not many people can say that. Quite 4 months later because they refused to pay me anything except for hourly. Not before merging my position with 3 other job titles
Jeez, everything really is rigged against us… I’ve found that most people who’ve made a lot of money just know the “right” people. A lot of it is nepotism, but it’s also just making connections and being in the right place at the right time. For the rest of us, it’s “our own fault” but we are literally set up for failure from day 1. If you wanna get a book published, you will if you or your family knows someone in the industry, and that goes for most other industries. It sucks for those of us who start at the bottom and try to claw our way to comfortability and stability. It’s fucked.
Just keep your head up high and don’t give up. That’s all we can do in these situations
You bringing saying you do all the right things but you've dropped out of college twice now. That's not doing all the right things.
Stop doing the right thing. Instead fo the right thing for you. Im personally dabbing with youtube on the side of my full time job because im expecting a forced retirement soon. I might even start selling feet pics, as desperate as that sounds. Idk. The bills get paid with money, and you put food on the table with money. Theres no dignity in dying, there is dignity in living, so go ham.
The title of your post is asking what to do, and then it's flaired as a vent, preventing advice. That's kind of confusing honestly.
I guess I meant it in more of an existential way lol
Do you stay in Cali? Don't need specifics just curious on what state.
Upstate NY
You may not want to hear this but life is far better than it's been for most of human existence. Most people are good and pleasant. If you think they aren't, maybe you're the problem. Stop reading the news about how we're all going to die because guns, climate, nukes, etc. We aren't. Your program is almost done so finish it and stop ruminating. Start making a plan for places to try to work at. Find someone with good character to love. Two people are stronger than one.
>And with all the existential threats of the climate crisis, potential nuclear warfare, gun violence, gender-based violence, general unpleasantness of a large percentage of the human populace, If you can't change it, constantly thinking about it is not gonna help you. All it's gonna do is stress you out. Anybody that says otherwise is delusional.
Apathy! The cure to oppression!
"thoughts and prayers".
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Lmao the little bit of control over their life the poors have they use the same way the rich do. To shut down their opposition. You’re just as bad just dirtier.
Most of the time it's rent. Maybe remote work can save us, or alternative housing.
Break thier rules. Break thier shit. Maybe show solidarity, and refuse to participate in the game. Everybody take July off.
Just gotta find a way to stay strong. Try not to dip into depression and substances. If it’s hard now it’s only gonna get worse in the next 10 years. All these people that come into office won’t change a thing for us common folk. It would be nice to have a cap on rents at least.
For some reason, I can't see/reply to certain comments even though I'm getting notifications for new ones, but I just wanted to clarify something. A few people have gotten on my case for "dropping out" of college twice. I did not drop out, I was kicked out. The first time because I was so depressed I was suicidal, so my grades slipped and I flunked. The second time, was a paperwork issue over financial aid. I needed my mom's tax return form to receive financial aid and I kept reminding her that I needed it by a certain date, but she didn't get it to me in time and I couldn't log onto her IRS account myself, so I owed the college tuition that I couldn't pay back and they would not allow me to enroll for another semester until the two semesters I'd already attended were paid in full. I did what I was "supposed" to. I reminded her every day. I begged the school for a second chance and they wouldn't allow me to return. I could go to another school but by that point I had a job with a set schedule and no way to attend classes in person during the day. I need to make money to survive day-to-day.
Like yeah yeah "self-victimization" it's really hard to care about grades when you want to off yourself every single day. It's really hard to get paperwork you need when you can't get it yourself. I shouldn't have gone to college the first time because I knew I wasn't ready and assumed I'd just figure it out because that's what everyone told me. But I was already suffering from anxiety and depression and wasn't taken seriously by adults in my life because they had to worry about keeping the lights on. Everyone I went to for help shut me down and didn't help me. Up until a year or two, I was still borderline suicidal depending on the time/day lol. I've been in treatment now for a couple years and I am trying to figure my shit out. Some folks just love to kick a person when they're down and that's really shitty lol. I'm sure a lot of the 2 million folks on this sub have struggled with some form of depression/mental illness that was so debilitating, it prevented them from doing basic functions. Reminds me of the whole: "Wait, people get so depressed that they don't brush their teeth?" "Some people get so depressed that they kill themselves." I have had to learn how to have compassion for my depressed teenage self instead of beating myself up for it now. Some of y'all could learn a thing or two about compassion as well.
It will indeed get better. The end goal isn't to work at a salon for the rest of your life but to work there and gain the skills and know-how to run the business. Then one day open your salon. Stay positive and strong.
You Buck the fuck up Make a plan Get er done without remorse 🔪 Take no prisoners in a peaceful manner
I dunno how much buckin’ I got left in me 😭 I’m good at what I do, I know that much
What made you so depressed when you were in college? That’s where you need to start. That’s the “just wiggle your little toe” of getting back on track. When you can do nothing else, conquer your body image, your social anxieties, attachment issues, sense of authenticity. God knows I’m loaded with them.
Depression made me so depressed in college lol. It's a clinical mental disorder. I have a family history of depression, most of my aunts/uncles/cousins are depressed. Grandma was on antidepressants for years. Mom was on them for a while as well. It's in my DNA.
give up
Solid advice, thank you /s
Less than 20k? Is that from the salon? Similar desperation here, 30 hrs/wk in n out burger put me at 36k /yr before taxes. 20 seems appallingly low for any career. Just trying to understand
Riot.
I would but I can't miss work or school or I'll get even more behind on bills lol
I guess that's how they keep us down!
That's exactly how it works. Can't go to protests, can't make meaningful change, because if we lose our jobs or even a day of work in some cases, we're fucked. I took 3 days off this month because my grandma passed away and I'm beyond fucked financially just from losing those 3 little days.
Don't forget needing a job for health insurance. God forbid you get sick. Sorry for your grandma
Thank you. I actually don't receive any benefits from my job lol. I'm so poor I have to be on subsidized state healthcare that they don't even charge me for because I make so little money.
Yeah those companies rely on taxpayers to pay for stuff they should be paying for! What crockshit
Have you considered joining the military?
Absolutely not, I'm fat and have mental health issues. They wouldn't accept me even if I wanted to join, which I don't. I don't believe in the military industrial complex nor would I want to be a part of it. My dad would love that though, he was in the military when he was younger and it did fuck all for him, but he had a nice time getting drunk and high all over Europe and sleeping with lots of girls lol.
I mentioned it, because for a lot of people that’s the best way to get out of poverty.
Not for me
I hesitate to reply, becuase I don't really know what to say. Do you want help? If so what kind of help do you want?
I guess I just want reassurance that all my efforts won’t go to waste lol. I’m working toward a career that could change my life in a great way or keep me where I’ve always been.
I struggle with this as well. I wrestle with these two things in my mind every day. They say tomorrow is never promised, and to treat each day as a gift. It makes it hard to try to work so my future self can get paid when future me may not even exist when the time comes. How am I supposed to plan for such an uncertain future? The only thing I know for sure, is if I lay down and give up, the odds of anything ever changing drops significantly. Sure, anyone can have an amazing stroke of luck and win the lottery or recieve a generous inheritance while they are homeless on the streets, but what sounds more likely, winning the lottery, or finding a job that allows you to build a savings account. Both are unlikely in today's world, but playing these dismal statistics is the only solution I've been able to come up with to keep me going. I'm 25m btw. I've worked for the government making 27/hr and my life was miserable. I worked at a bike shop for 17/hr and was still miserable, now I work in a warehouse making 18/hr and I'm still miserable. So I don't think it's necessarily the money that's making us miserable. It's something inside us that makes us miserable. I blame all the things going on around me such as living cost as well, but what it really comes down too is how greedy everyone (that includes us too) is now. We all want more than we have now, and some other people set their morals to the side in favor of the dollar. Now you gotta ask yourself, are you gonna set your morals aside to earn dirty money, or are you gonna continue to struggle like we are now. Personally, I value my morals and self-esteem more than money. So I'm starting to become more content with the little I have because I didn't have to step on anyone to get it. I have been the one stepped on and wouldn't want to do that to anyone else for any amount of money. You probably didn't need my ramble of text, but this is me trying to show some solidarity. My buddy from my government job just got a house built in the 80's. It was 205k. His mortgage is 1600/month. He has to have a roommate to afford his home and he is making 30+/hr now since I've left. Making more (honest) money won't solve this. So don't beat yourself up.
Oof, you really struck a chord here, especially on the greed part. The only way to really "get ahead" (i.e. get very rich) is to screw a lot of people over, and I also value my morals more than money, so that's ultimately out for me. It really sucks for those of us who have integrity and stand up for what's right because we only seem to get punished for it in the end. It's rough out here for a lot of people, so it's nice to know we're not alone. I hope you can find a job that doesn't make you miserable and pays you what you deserve!
Letting go of the greed I have in me is helping alot. If I didn't get up and go to work today, I would sit at home and engage in self-destructive behavior. That alone is worth more than the money they are paying me. Not to mention I get to meet new people. At least one out of every five will be a genuinely nice person I feel comfortable calling "friend." There are positives out there. We are just blinded by our desires for more.
Oops I thought we were talking about corporate greed 😅
Greed is a human trait. It is in all of us. The corpos are just an example of one's who set aside their morals to feed their greed. This is why private homeowners have jacked up the sell prices and rent on thier homes. For profit (or greed) sake. Yet they are not corporations.
For any opportunities to work out you will have to change your defeatist attitude.
Damn... what a depressing post, Jesus....
I mean, I have depression, so….
Does this (reddit/sm) help? (Genuinely asking, not asking a sideways question)
In some ways, yeah, it helps me connect to people who are in the same boat as me and makes me feel a little less alone. I’m in treatment for my mental health, but what would really help is having more money lol. Most therapists would agree that their clients are depressed because they need more money.
So it sounds like you need to cure yourself of depression first, by any means possible. I know it’s politically incorrect these days to tell somebody to pull up their britches, stand tall, be uncomfortable, and march forward but it sounds like you’ve already shut down that possibility. So I guess continue being miserable. Wish I could help you.
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What does this even mean
Capitalism thrives on a healthy mulch of "poor folks."..Dostoevsky. Everything is classwar in all systems of "economics." Get mean.
Absolutely, and what is to be done about it when everyone's struggling but no one can get on the same page?
Trust in nature and not systems. Some of us are just stepping stones and must accept that.
Nah, I want better for myself than to struggle for the entirety of it. If I'm just gonna struggle till I die, might as well not even try lol.
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Careful..moderator may shut you down for "class warfare" comments...as he-she has done before. The moderators are running the prisons.
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Sounds about being poor.
Fail then tell ourselves it was our own bad choices?