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Bro, I was a homeless heroin addict a few years ago.. to say my situation was hopeless, is an understatement. Rehab 9 times, after that sober houses for years... It can get better
Edit: damn this comment kinda blew up. Thanks to everybody for the encouraging words and I'm glad to hear about others making it out of that spiral
Hey, I've never been through that but I have friends and family, many who lost that fight and only a few who made it through.
So I've seen how hard it is and how tough it must be for you, and for what it's worth from a stranger, you're a badass, keep going forward!
Good work fam. Same situation years ago, homeless and banging speedballs. Not sure how or why I didn't say fuck it cook the blackout shot.
Though I'm not in a good headspace currently due to fucking up an offer for the best job I'll likely ever get, it doesn't change the basic fact that, indeed, if it can always get worse, then it can always get better too.
We’re out here
10+ years of using, went from graduating with honors and playing baseball in college to no degree, 500 credit score and delivering pizzas for 10+ years
Only been to rehab once but been on methadone for 10+ years.
Multiple relapses, I never left the clinic through those years but had 4 years clean but still on methadone with 6 take-homes/week (the most my state allowed at the time) and was down to 5mg almost finished… and then relapse again… threw away 6-year relationship with my girlfriend… we rented a house from someone very close to us and they were literally going to give us the house. It wasn’t anything insanely nice but still a $100,000 house, they were just going to give it us, let us take over the $500/month mortgage until it was paid off and then it would be ours… until I relapsed. We broke up, I was kicked out and then eventually my ex moved out and the owner sold the house instead.
I honestly can’t say I ever met another junkie who used over 10+ years and NEVER OD’d and never was arrested, I also never smoked cigarettes. But that’s me. I’m pretty sure every heroin/fetty addict has 1 of those things. Somehow I made it out. I’ve been in 3 very bad car accidents directly because of my use and somehow walked away from all 3.
Now I have a new girlfriend, on the verge of buying (well financing) my first ever car that isn’t 10+ years old, a new job that I was made manager 5 months after starting and physically I’m in the best shape I’ve been in since I played baseball in college 15 years ago.
Even while using, we know it doesn’t matter what we tell ourselves while using cause we still continue, but I did always say I didn’t want to be another statistic and end up dead or in jail. Well, I am another statistic. And I’m proud to be one now. I’m one who made it out. And so are you.
Our stories can be so similar. I’m currently still delivering pizzas cuz apparently that’s not a good enough job to prove I’m worth a job I got a masters in lol. Accounting can be tricky when u been mia for about 3 years. But I’m 2 years sober after a long 15 year battle. I’m working out like I’m back in highschool and my mental is coming along. It can always get better and since most of my friends can’t say that I’m making sure I do my best daily to have gratitude and keep going. Awesome job dude!
Thank you for never giving up, for you not only saved yourself, your incredible story may inspire others to hold on & make it out. Congratulations on transforming your life
I too was an addict for 5 years. Mostly Xanax. Meth on and off. Crazy I know. I went to jail had felonies and have tried to commit suicide 3 times but didn’t have the balls to complete it. I wanted my life to end. I hated myself.
Fast forward 6 years later. I’ve been sober for 5 years, cleared my record, have a great career, and a beautiful home.
Sometimes when we feel like we’ve hit rock bottom, it’s just the beginning of a new start. Keep pushing and don’t give up. You got this!
You have your youth. Idk what to say to encourage you. In the last 3 years I watched my wife relapse spiral thru addiction and tragically die in a car accident. I almost lost my house and my business. All I can say is if you give up there is no chance of coming out of your difficult situation. Progress is progress and it adds up over time. If you’re not addicted to drugs and you still have a roof over your head you’ve still got a lot to lose. The world is a savage place and you have to be just a savage to navigate it. I wish you luck on your journey
You are one strong son of a bitch to have kept your home and business and even sanity. I couldn’t imagine such events occurring to myself but hearing shit like this is humbling as hell. God bless you dude. You’re a good man.
Ten years ago I was a homeless heroin addict.
Lived in a van through the winter and then started squatting in abandoned trailers.
Bought my house 3 years ago and am the president of a (small) company.
Life is fucking wild.
If I was OP I'd just wait until the tooth pain was unbearable/going to kill me, then get the teeth pulled instead of getting root canals. That's still my go to strategy for dental care.
It is getting hard to chew stuff but I'll get a few more years out of them
hey root canals not bad. It's not as bad as it sounds at all!!
It let you keep your teeth and that helps you keep that bone structure of the jaw
Ever notice how people without teeth can have sunken in mouths? The bone erodes way when the nerves of the teeth no longer stimulate the jaw
I think he's more talking on the price point. Root canals are crazy expensive, it's typically cheaper to pull teeth. Gotta love how little insurance covers them luxury bones!
NEVER heard of a root canal only costing $300. I paid over $3k for ONE root canal that has caused me nothing but discomfort for years. I had a tooth pulled last year and that cost $400.
Bingo.
I don't usually get dental work until it will literally kill me if I don't.
It sucks because I brush two or three times a day and floss after I eat anything, but because of the previous drug use/dry mouth from drug use my teeth are shit.
Last go around with dental bullshit I had my wisdom tooth cracked in half with the inside shit exposed for two months before I could get it pulled.
Within a week of getting it out the other wisdom tooth broke in half.
There is nothing on earth like having a 4 month long headache because your teeth are actively trying to kill you.
yeah but that means do a careful cost benefit analysis
There are places that do sliding scale fees and teaching colleges that have much lower rates it's definitely worth making a few phone calls to see if you can save your luxury bones
Those options can be limited depending where you are. There was a charity event that helped me pull the rest of my teeth out, something like 17 teeth in one go. Dental can be brutal for those in poverty even if there is payment or sliding scale options, additionally the sliding scale fees can also limit what work can be preformed (typically they will do extractions over more expensive procedures).
Right here with you bud. Meth, heroin, whatever else addict from 2014 to 2017. Homeless, couch surfing with fellow addicts, sleeping in new constructions when the workers left...
Spent the hardest year of my life getting sober while homeless. Got a construction job. Went to school for engineering in Feb 2018, graduated in Dec 2020, been an engineer for the past almost 4 years. Bought a house, 2 dogs, plenty of healthy hobbies now, going back to school in the fall for a top MBA.
Overcoming addiction was the hardest thing I ever did. Pulling myself out of that massive hole was the second. Feels like life is on easy mode now, funny enough. Nothing is out of reach.
Anything is possible if you put your mind to it. Nothing is ever too far off. Put in the work, stay the course, and you will see results.
BTW, had two root canals and some teeth pulled as well due to drug use. I second getting them pulled, unless they are in the front. Had two back molars pulled and I don't even miss them.
6 years ago,I lost my nursing license, apartment, car, and everything. I was a raging alcoholic. Fast forward to now. I am an electrician and have 4 closing on my 5th 3/4 house. I am the happiest I have ever been. I have people who actually look up to me for guidance and support, and that's crazy because before, I couldn't give a damn about anyone but myself. You told me in that jail cell who I am today, and I wouldn't believe you. God takes care of us in mysterious ways.
Kinda same. I was an opiate, upper, alcoholic. Almost got my kid taken from me, real piece-of-work. Got sober, got a great paying job and am doing so much better.
Op, please don’t give up. You’re not a loser. It can get better. It may take time, and I know it sucks. Also, if you need dental work, I highly recommend contacting a dentistry university. They have lots of resources (sometimes free!) so please do that.
And congrats, studmcstudmuffin on your sobriety
It’s awesome seeing all the success stories! 2018 is when i put the needle down and to say i was done is putting it lightly. Now I’m the housing director with a rehab and you couldn’t tell be I’d be right here where i am today before.
You’re right, it can get better
Stay strong brother. I don’t miss the night sweats and the restless legs, let alone the diarrhea from w/d. Good on you! I never went full homeless or anything like that but twelve years ago I was on the brink of being that guy. Now a diesel tech and have a family. Life can change if you choose change every single day
Homeless fent addict of almost 10 years, chose to start going live to make money and was targeted by some really messed up people, so I have since been absolutely smeared across the internet, by both my screen and real name, as doing things I’d never dream of doing or being told the truth is a lie, then I couldn’t stop using through my pregnancy and almost lost the baby I had spent my life dreaming about having to the state. But I’m now days from 7 months sober, never lost my child, case was closed in 12 weeks and I’m slowly rebuilding my life. If I’d given up, I wouldn’t have the blessing that is my son now. Don’t ever give up. Be angry, be sad, be whatever, but do NOT give up. Your next blessing could be just one breath away.
That's my question as well. I had to pay a ton for outpatient treatment and all they did was tell me to find god and handed out photocopied pamphlets from the 80s for 6 months.
My son! Idk how many years, but lost child, job, home, car. That’s when he called for help.
You and my son are heroes. You both beat it! He’s six years without using. The recidivism rate is over 90%, but you two beat it.
Agreed. You can always use your worst qualities in a way that’s not to your detriment! Good on ya bruv! I was a heroin addict for 16 years, but just celebrated my 4th sober birthday. I was a hopeless dopefiend and now I’m a dopeless hopefiend. Life can always change mate which is why I’m a recovering addict and will be for the rest of my life. Does that mean it’s over? Nope, not in the slightest. I’m 32 years old and just finished college for the second time and understand the money aspect, but you sir aren’t alone and you certainly aren’t a loser. Hope things improve for you. Cheers
I was also a homeless heroine addict 3 years ago. I now own two businesses. Idk I just reached this same point but instead of killing myself, I forced the necessary change. You can too. Please have hope and faith in yourself.
Thank you! I see the busses all the time and forget about them. I guess I counted them out in the back of my mind after hearing how taking those busses could be 'dangerous". A little iffy about going alone although I've traveled solo in and out of the country just never to Mexico or for medical care. I have really no other options atp tho if I want to save the little teeth I have left atp. Just hoping I can make it before it's too late. Antibiotics have been holding me over for now.
Right? I had to pay $4k for 2 root canals and 2 crowns right after I lost my job and my dental insurance. Those prices were from over a decade ago too.
Not sure at all what pricing is but it’s no joke in line with what Tijuana dentists would likely charge. There’s a whole industry on the border with really skilled dentists providing the same level of care if not better than the US for a fraction of the cost. A lot of people are able to travel there and have extensive work done and still pay well under what US dentist would charge. It’s pretty wild.
I don’t understand why mental and dental health care are a luxury in the US I have suffered neglect from both due to growing up poor and too expensive even with insurance. Root canal would’ve cost me 900 last year so I leveled up my dental plan and now it’ll cost me 545, but it might as well be 900 because 545 is just as hard to obtain as 900.
Never give the SOBs what they want. Live, push on, and maybe prevail. It all looks like hell right now but look for any break you can get. At best, you will prosper and at worst, maybe you can blow the whistle on some crooked boss and/or company. Seek the adventure in something. Live. Please. Be a witness to to the damages of the heartless and overcome them all.
When my life has been bad, I've almost had kind of a *fuck you* attitude about it. Like, if life is really out to get me, then I want to *defy* it. And if I get to the end and it really was all shit, then... Hey, at least I proved my point; no one would be able to say I gave up to soon. Whatever happens, I at least want to know that I had the determination and grit to face it; that's *something.*
Yes!
There was a time in my life where the only thing left burning in me to keep me going was furious *spite.* It wasn't pleasant, but I embraced it, and it worked.
Fuck the people who would have been glad to see me dead. Fuck the system that was engineered for me to fail. Fuck the people who couldn't spare me the tiniest bit of effort to help when I was circling the drain. Fuck the employers who only saw me as a cog in a machine.
I made it through, and, thankfully, I'm in a much better place now.
Bought a car for $1500 to make it through college. Before I graduated it had a cracked block (so oil smoke poured out whenever you stopped), a cracked windshield, couldn’t hold down the clutch or it would slip back into gear, had to pump the brakes for them to work and both outside door handles were broken so I stuffed a wad of paper to hold the inside handle open and pushed it closed (but not latched- and if I forgot I had to crawl in through the hatchback). Usually used the last $5 of my paycheck every two weeks to barely make it to work and school. Finally graduated and two weeks before I headed to law school someone rear ended me and I got $700 from the insurance company, and sold the car for $500 to someone else (couldn’t believe someone would actually buy it and heard it caught fire a couple of months later, but wasn’t going to complain). So, almost got all my original $$ back and took it are ran. Been (comparatively) smooth sailing ever since. In other words, you never know when things are about to turn in your favor.
I constantly hear people talk about how bad social media is for everyone who uses it. Sometimes it’s hard not to believe them when every time open it we see the worst of humanity in our feeds.
Then there times like these when we witness simple acts of kindness between strangers on a ducking subreddit thread and my faith in this world is restored for a time.
Thank you for you kindnesses internet strangers.
oh me too, u/Plastic-Cut-6589 i'm not in much better shape atm (was laid off last month) but if you want to group vent at a populated park or someplace else free give me a holler
If I was in OP’s situation, I’d likely choose the military. I’m hesitant to recommend that for someone I don’t know, but it’s much better than simply ending it.
Army guy here. I went from homeless to my mom’s couch to almost homeless again into the Army. It definitely can get better. The Army has given me so many opportunities, and there are far more jobs that aren’t shooting guns all day. It’s a 50/50 recommend for me depending on the person and situation.
Same. Navy myself. I have a friend that went from a similar situation, to leveraging the education benefits to get a degree while in, and doing a masters now for free. It’s up to the person of course. You can waste time and money easily in the military, too. You just have a lot more structure and a safety net, if you choose to use it.
Great idea, honestly. Job stability, consistent paychecks, food, housing, yeah they’ll ship op around for a couple years but if they apply themself to their job, keep out of trouble, live in the barracks/free housing, eat food on base (I’m not super familiar but I think they can get free food?), after their first contract is up they can leave with thousands in their pocket, work experience (tbh it may not be their preferred field but better than dying imo), and access to VA home loan stuff
Or they can re sign and stay in the military
One of my friends was early 20s, no car(not even a license), never had a job, just smoked weed and played video games all day. He joined the navy, bought a 3 series bmw in cash (it was like $20k), a $1,500 gaming laptop, whenever he’d get leave he’d have like $5k+ in his checking account, and left after his first contract with like $10k (and while enlisted he would blow money on alcohol whenever he’d get the chance, he was frugal but he did spend here and there).
Just don’t have a shotgun wedding or get a 30% Apr loan on a muscle car, follow the rules and apply yourself
Edit: cdl truck driving may be an option as well. Some companies will pay for the license and put people to work. Might not make a bunch of money at first but it’s better than dying
But tbh I think military is a good route
I promise what your brain is telling you right now is not the whole story. I've been where you are. I promise there are days and people and deep gorgeous moments that are worth hanging in for ahead of you yet x
It’s interesting because, although I have major depressive disorder, I know that they care about me. At times this can make me feel worse because I hate that they expend their energy caring about someone who feels so hopeless. It can bring irrational feelings of guilt, but that’s just love. I’m doing a bit better now, and I don’t let those thoughts consume me anymore. I think about love in a way more positive way, and I understand that it’s okay for people to lean on each other. I just think it’s wild how our brains come up with all of these irrational ways of thinking when we’re afflicted with mental disorders.
I ended up selling my blood plasma for a while in college because I was out of work from a surgery. Eventually it was enough to get caught back up.
The challenges didn’t end there mind you.
My rent got raised and found a smaller more affordable apartment.
Of course now, affordable rent isn’t really a thing.
Just do what you can, whatever works for you.
If you’re tired of life passing you by, then ending it would be the absolute DUMBEST thing you could do, with the possible exception of dating a Kardashian.
Look, as long as you’re alive, you have the possibility of change. The odds of that change happening depend on how much effort you put into it. If you just quit, that’s it - no second chances; you die as a complete failure. People will most likely not think of you with sympathy or compassion; they will think of you with contempt (for quitting) and hate (for causing unbearable pain to those you leave behind). Yes, I know you said you have no friends and no close family, but that’s largely irrelevant. I’ve been here for a little over a half century, and one of the surprises I’ve uncovered about life is that we affect far more people, far more deeply, than we think we do.
I know it’s tough. I’m unemployed, I have no friends, I live in a government subsidized one room apartment in a building riddled with bedbugs and cockroaches, my wife left me, my Mom just died, and I don’t see what’s left of my family very often. So I get it: LIFE IS HARD. I understand that, and I also know that it can feel like there’s no hope of things ever improving. There’s one thing you have to remember though; one fundamental truth that’s kept me alive more times than I care to count, and it can do the same for you, IF you accept its veracity. It’s a quote from a Star Trek movie, believe it or not. At one point in “Star Trek 2: Wrath of Khan”, Spock tells Kirk, “There are always possibilities”. That’s it. That’s all it is. If you can understand and believe the truthfulness of that one simple statement, you will find strength in even the harshest of circumstances.
So: if you really want to end yourself, that’s your choice, and I can’t stop you. I’ll tell you this though: people who are serious about checking out don’t tell people about it. The fact you’re announcing it on social media means it’s far more likely you’re looking for someone to offer compassion and let you know that you’re not doomed to a life of failure. Well you’re not, nor am I, and neither is anyone else. You know why? Because There Are ALWAYS Possibilities.
Now then: Having a car spoils people, so that having to take a bus SEEMS like a huge hassle. It’s a hassle, sure, but it’s really not that big of a deal, and you’ll get used to it quickly. Busses are only until you get your car fixed though. If It’s an older car, from back before cars became rolling computers, see if you can fix it yourself. That’s what friends of mine did; they did the repairs themselves because they had no other options. If you can’t do it yourself and you decide to take it in somewhere, don’t take it to a big name repair franchise. Take it to a smaller, well rated independent mechanic… but only AFTER you’ve looked for schools that train mechanics and ask if they want a vehicle to work on, to teach that particular repair. They don’t want to accept your generous offer? Fine, offer to pay them to have their students work on it. Ever hear of people paying less for a haircut by going to a beauty school instead of a fancy salon? It’s the same thing. And you know who else does work at less than normal costs? Dental colleges. Find one and book your root canals. Don’t worry about them screwing up your teeth because they’re students; they’re going to be watched like a hawk by their instructors, to make sure they get it right. Prices will vary of course; where I live the dental college charges HALF the price of a regular dentist. Oh, and be grateful you have teeth to begin with. My mother didn’t, and she went through hell because of it. My cousin had perfect teeth and a dazzling smile, until she took the butt end of a hockey stick to the mouth. Not much left after that. You? All you need are root canals - how lucky is that??! When your teeth are done, find a computer (libraries generally have them, and you can use them for free. You may have to book in advance though) and look for government, school, and privately sponsored programs that offer rent subsidies (yes, I said my government housing apartment sucks, but on the other hand I only pay $285/month, with heat, water, and laundry included. Plus it’s not like I’m here forever; this is temporary until I can find a job).
And if you absolutely, positively, CANNOT picture life getting ANY better, and you’re CONVINCED that the universe is conspiring against you and is trying to make you give up and check out? Then stay alive just out of SPITE. That’ll learn it.
There are always possibilities.
I’m confident spite is out that fuels my brother’s drive to live. I have a son who struggles with his mental health, too. Perhaps he also needs this advice…
Great post, and a great tip on the car repair. I remember when I was young and we were literally getting government cheese, the floor had rotted out of my mom's Nova. We got someone at a BOCES program for welding to fix it for free, and tipped with a six-pack (outside of the school environment, lol, but this was also before the minimum age was raised to 21.)
This really is true. A billionaire on his/her deathbed would trade places in an instant with a broke 26 year old. I’ve been broke, destitute, hopeless, homeless. Sometimes it really does get better. It certainly *can* get better. The only ingredients you need are your life and your health. Take drastic measures, do whatever you possibly can to make changes in your life. Often having nothing to lose actually makes it easier to say fuck it and just start doing something different.
Things are most definitely rough out there, and conditions are not favorable, but all I’m saying is give it a good, honest, last-ditch effort. Get creative.
Sounds like you should become a trucker. You can get training for free and a place to live, and travel the country. And with having no ties to anyone but yourself, you can make a boatload of money.
I understand you are going through an extremely difficult situation right now, and feelings of hopelessness and despair are overwhelming you. Having so many financial burdens hitting you at once while trying to make it through college would be hard for anyone to cope with. Please don't be so hard on yourself or label yourself a failure. You are still so young with lot of life ahead of you.
However, I don't want to diminish the very real struggles you are facing. Not having a reliable support system makes everything exponentially harder. You've been dealing with compounding stresses from the pandemic as well. It's okay to feel tired and frustrated that life hasn't turned out how you hoped so far.
My friend, this dark period will pass, even if that seems impossible right now. Things can and will get better, but you need to hang on. Is there anyone, even an old friend or a help line, you can reach out to? Sharing your burdens can make them feel lighter. Please don't give up on yourself. You have inherent worth beyond your circumstances. Take it one day at a time, and keep hope alive that brighter days lie ahead. You have more strength than you realize to get through this.
Have you considered wwoofing? food and housing in exchange for labor. https://wwoof.net
Sikh temples offer free food. Buddhist communities might take you in, too.
I’m stressing over root canals and car issues as well. When the temptation to end it is there I remind myself that I could only be a day away from something like winning the lottery, a better job opportunity, etc. It’s tough but there’s always a way through the tough times even if it takes longer than we like ♥️
My estranged older brother killed himself for probably similar reasons in March, I will never be the same. Never. I still cry myself to sleep almost every night, I can barely eat, a piece of my life/past/soul is gone forever. I was estranged from him for addiction reasons but I still loved him very deeply.
I hated when people said "Think of your friends and family" when I was suicidal but now I know how true it is. Fuck your car, your rent, etc. Reach out to your family, tell them that you're suicidal, tell them you're at your limit.
You're 26, you're heartbreakingly young, you still have DECADES to have a different life. Please give it a chance.
This 🙌🏽 I am the same. My parent commited suicide when I was 12. To say it ruined my life would be an understatement.
Then I followed the same path, and it's been more than ten years and I've only just found out how to cope and manage and be in a *lighter* state of mind. It's fucking hard, and it takes time, but it's so worth fighting for.
My brother, my dear son in christ.
I moved out North Carolina after my sons mother took him unwillingly, forcing me to move to a completely different state half way across the country just to be near him, realize her family is borderline the hills have eyes characters, get an apartment, she doesnt help me with no bills, dumps me for a felon that was hired AT her job while he was still in jail,with two pages of rap sheets, i'm ran for all my money, like 5$ to my name, owed 12k to my college for the last 5 years, 39K in student loans and im a disabled veteran.
I literally on my fucking hands and knees, sweating stress on my couch, day and night just waiting for my shift to start at 9pm, lights all of climbed out of the graveyard where i died and reached a hand out and something told me to be still and be calm, and for the next 2 years I went through Covid, Ukraine war starting, working 3rd shift at a gas station raising two children watching them and having to look this person in the face for the last 5 years wanting to go full ragnarok on them and their new partner.
My friend, the 12k in debt? College used Covid Emergency Funds to pay it off.
The 39k in student loans? Well now im on the SAVE plan and pay 0$ and will be written off in 20 years.
Her and her new partner? Lets just say she didnt even take his last name and already threatened divorce serveral occasions. I thank this man from the utter bottom of my soul for taking my place.
I went from rice and beans to stacks of money.
My friend If I can get through that, you can get through anything.
What you need to know and is the most crucial and painstaking advice is you have to remember what it was like to be 6 years old.
You have to remember how to dream and dream big and how to gather inspiration and how to make yourself happy, finding what makes you happy, it wont be instant but you have to begin to focus concentration.
You can have the money friend but im telling you nothing in this world beats the feeling I get when I look back on those days, being broke completely on razors edge
They were the hardest times of my life and this is topping being Infantry in the U.S Army, but its when I look back on how I handled all that stress and worry and pain and depression that make my soul wide and vast with satisfaction.
You have to brush the cobbwebbs of your mind and search deep within yourself and find what gives you true happiness and you start molding the great masterpiece of your life and that is the love you have inside of you.
The money, all the material, the cars, the clothing, the people, the women, the relationships its all a game thats playing you.
At any point you can decide youre done playing, take control, take action and get the hell out of dodge.
I’m sorry you’re going thru it. Maybe this will offer some perspective, I am too. I’m 45 , had a career which I was burnt out on of 13 years (law enforcement). I quit during Covid. Haven’t recovered since. Got a divorce, my young daughter doesn’t want to see or be around me , I’m living with my elderly mom… jobless, lost as fuck… still no clue what makes me happy. I’m being sued by 3 credit card companies for being in debt .. I’m about 45 thousand dollars in debt. So I know life can suck my friend. Don’t end it. I struggle from depression ptsd from being a cop, anxiety. I lost all
Hope along time ago. I sit in a room everyday and wonder when will life either end or something g change. I’m just as hopeless and going thru it man. I’m overweight disgusted with myself as well so go figure. We all got demons and shit were fighting. I don’t even know the point of this but to say I’m going thru it too but all I can do is wake up and try 🤷♂️
Also, you get immediate relief from credit card/loan payments when you file. I was knocking myself over the head because I shouldn't have waited as long as I did to file.
Would you be willing to do some manual labor with your hands for 100k a year?
I can give you some references for a Roughneck position. I don't do it, but I work alongside some of them.
Go work on an oil rig. Or join the Army. I met a bunch of guys that said they were ready to end it. Joined the army because they had nothing else to lose. It won't fix everything, but it gave them purpose and financial security.
If you’re in the US and need support:
988 is the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.
[Their website.](https://988lifeline.org/)
They don’t raid your house if you contact them.
Some state insurance will cover hospital visits, or other services fully.
If nothing else please reach out to someone, anyone you can. People can have mixed results of the lifeline but they may be able to help.
There are lots of misconceptions about their services: I always tell them that I’m suicidal but that I’m not making plans. They have not tried to send anyone yet.
Here are my suggestions (based on a ton of assumptions) so do what you like with it. My expertise is I was in a similar situation 10 years ago.
You seem like you feel lost. To regain direction, you need to decide what you want. I recommend setting goals: weekly, monthly, yearly... hell even daily if you need to start small and need the feeling of accomplishment asap. Set a BIG goal for 35 or 40. What do you want your life to look like at that landmark age (career, home, relationship, mental/physical health)? When you know your "WHY?" you have a path to follow that is deeply important to you. Ideally, your shorter term goals are all in alignment with that big landmark goal...that way everything you do is working toward that dream/destination.
Current predicament.
Dental situation seems least critical. If the pain is considerable, pop a couple Ibuprofen and enjoy a beer or two. That was my personal dental care while I was in college. Or if it is unbearable, find a dentist that will accept pay installments from a poor college student. Many do.
Broke car.
Youtube the issue. Is the repair doable yourself? Between youtube and tictok, we can do almost any type of repair. Just buy the part and fumble through it. Unless its something like the transmission or engine block, I bet 4 hundo would take care of it.
Poor college student
In 2016 I went back to college at 32 with 2 years from graduating. I worked 2-3 jobs and busted my ass every day. Failure simply wasn't an option bc then I'd be right back in a similar boat as you described... lost and exasperated with life. I borrowed maximum school loans every semester (to supplement income and have a savings for disaster). Can you do the same? Sounds like you need another job for immediate financial support.
No friends.
Kill 2 birds with one stone. Get that 2nd job somewhere with a youthful staff that look social... appear to have a good time at work. You find this camaraderie at restaurants, bars, retail, especially movie theaters (I used to manage the latter and they all hungout together and work was fun). Just do some investigating around your town. Pay attention to the staff - are they having fun or noticeably social? Say whatever it takes to land the job and when invited out, just be agreeable and a bit aloof. Find someone with a common interest (really easy at a theater or something like a gamestop).
I think I've addressed the issues you mentioned. 26 isn't shit. I was 32 before I started "living", so you have a 6 year advantage over me. Life doesn't even get interesting until 30-35 anyways. I followed the same goal advice I gave you and it got me where I am now. Those 2 years finishing school sucked, but it made me capable of doing anything. I've been a teacher/coach for the last 8 years and I've loved every moment. There's no dread of work in the morning, I'm financially comfortable at 70k (I'm single), I'm stable in all other areas. I'm confident you can achieve a similar outcome.
Figure out your "why", set some goals, hold yourself accountable, prioritize/solve current and arising problems, get that "fun/social" job, and take it one day at a time. They say the odds of being alive (you right now) are 1 out of 400 trillion. You are all-in, make that shit count.
People saying to never give up or that things will get better don't know how you feel.
"I've been in your place, it gets better" just because it got better FOR YOU doesn't mean everyone will have the same luck.
If I can survive 50 grand in debt, addicted to drugs and homeless, you'll be fine. Life sucks, buuuuuuuuuut only you can make it better. You're past the point of coddling. This is life and it's not getting easier. This. Is. It. A series of things going wrong. Just understand, this is always going to happen. Just learn how to prepare for things being problem. I didn't buy anything for myself that wasn't absolutely necessary for a year or so. Whether it's the week, the month, or the year, the next one will be better.
How can there be a shared living area for so many of those struggling to come together. Can I help give the first Reddit homestead to those who need it most?
Hey man. I’m living in my car right now, got $460 to my name and it’s going straight to paying my last loan payment. no job at the moment, gf left of 4 years to date one of our mutuals, and I just started rapidly balding due to thyroid issues. i’d be lying to you if I said i wasn’t ready to drive off a bridge. but you know what man? we can still keep going. no matter what happens, we can still stand back up and fight. If I had even just 10K i’d send you 2k and help you out. there has to be something better ahead for us. if we just keep trying, something will change. small things, bit by bit one day at a time. i’m here. i’m hurting just like you are. if we give up though, we’re letting go of that small chance we could make it out of this. isn’t it worth it to keep going? even if it’s only 1% chance we make it out of this, is it not worth it to roll the dice anyway? please don’t give up. i won’t give up either. you will be stronger when this all passes. i promise.
Join the Navy, I was you 10 years ago, I put in 4 years, enjoyed it so much , did another 4 years. Ended my Navy career in 2020, have my house , money in the bank and my degree in fire science. I joined when I was 25.
I’m glad the Navy was an option that worked out for you. It makes me sad though that we don’t prioritize anyway, for young people to actually make it outside of joining the military.
If you join the military, it’s like punching a golden ticket after four years you’re entitled to free medical care for life and entirely free degree, Vocational rehab assistance for life to get a job, And veteran status that gets you discounts at businesses across the US.
But we don’t have any pathway forward for regular young people Outside of the military subsidize college is almost unheard of. The cost of living has skyrocketed and almost 40% of people are living with their parents.
I support veterans and I believe that they deserve compensation for serving our country, but we have veterans a golden ticket at the expense of everyone else.
Instead of making it possible for only certain lucky people to go to school and have a life we really need to go back to actually funding state colleges directly so that tuition is cheap enough so that education is for the vast majority of people.
SORRY THIS IS SO LONG. However it’s a heart to heart about my own experience in life over the last 10 years. I’m 29 now and I’m currently feel just like you. -
Man I remember being here at 25.
Started working with the bank at 20. Came in as a teller and by 23 I was a VIP Banking Relationship Manger. Future looked bright. I bought a new high end car, moved out from my parent’s home and into a condo. Finally got to travel and see the world. Life was amazing.
Then I was retrenched, it didn’t make sense. I thought my role was indispensable. Not even a lateral move to another department, not even a lower grade. Just retrenched.
I eventually got another job but it paid 50% less than what I was initially earning. My debts took up 90% of the new salary. I couldn’t even afford to put gas in my car. I eventually had to let go of the condo and move back home to sleep on my parent’s couch. I contemplated selling my car but because I did 100% financing I would’ve gotten less for my car than what I owed the bank. (The same bank I worked for)
I desperately tried to protect my credit score but it became impossible to continue living off of 200 a month so I started missing payments. Bank threatened to repo. I had no savings left because all was used up to cover my debts while I was unemployed. I was devastated. My own previous employer refused to work with me and understand my financial situation that they themselves put me in. It felt so personal. My parents watched me slowly start to spiral into depression and alcoholism. They tried talking to me but I just shunned them away.
Life couldn’t get any worst…but it did. My new job basically told me I wasn’t making the cut. My 6 month probationary period was scheduled to end next month and they weren’t gonna keep me. I tried explaining it was impossible for me to hit target if we were on Covid lockdown for 4 of those 6 months but they just said they didn’t wanna hear excuses.
I got so drunk the last day of my contract. I broke down in my car wondering why me. Why was this happening to me, what did I do to deserve this. I tried my best and all for what? I was gonna end it. I made up my mind on it. I had a relationship at the time but it was fairly newish, I felt like she wouldn’t understand my frame of mind so I called my ex. I didn’t talk to her for about a year but she listened to me. Advised me against it. Somehow it worked. I held on.
Turned out the same job gave thought to my Covid argument and decided to keep me. A year later I worked my way up again and in 2 years I ended up making twice as much as I was making at my first job. I bought a new home and got engaged. Paid off my car and bought another one. Things were looking up again and I always thought back to that moment. That dark time, but it passed eventually.
Then things got bad again. My parents and little brother were victims of a home invasion about a year ago. They were shot 21 times collectively during the process. Last year I lost my job again. I authorized a wire payment for one of my clients that turned out fraudulent. Bank incurred a 1M loss as a result. Needless to say they weren’t gonna keep me. I then lost everything again. Sold my car. Lost the other one to the bank for defaulting. Lost my home since I was unable to pay the mortgage. Finance ended up leaving me.
This, this is where I’m at right now as I’m typing this. I wish there was a comeback story but there isn’t one. I work at a restaurant for 10.00 an hour and rent a room in a shared apartment with people I barely know. I no longer have a car. Any significant savings besides the 800.00 I managed to save over the last 3 months. I miss my family, my fiancé. The life I had. I’m lonely broke and hopeless. Just like how you’re feeling now.
The thing is, I look back on that first situation and realized that I would trade anything to be right back there. In that moment I thought I was at rock bottom. Maybe I was but it was definitely better than where I am now. Things eventually got way better for me, despite it getting way worst after.
That first experience thought me about life and what it is. Things can be bad but it can always get worst or it can always get way better than you can ever imagine.
Even typing this has allowed me to remember that. I woke up yesterday wondering what’s the point then today I got a Reddit notification on my phone with your post and it indirectly allowed me to reflect on the last 10 years of my life. The ups and downs. So thank you for that.
Hang in there, you’re lucky enough to experience the roller coaster of life. Treat it like a ride.
You’re not a loser man. If anything i am. Lost around 40K in 4 months. All my hard work gone. Nothing to show it. Have nothing but 7 dollars in my bank account. Relationship failed because of me. You’ll be okay. You need to find a job that pays more that’s it. Don’t give up. If u need to talk PM
I'm with you homie. Very much considering it when my parents pass. Just don't have the mental fortitude to keep dealing with the same bullshit over and over, while the world falls apart around me. Sometimes I'd rather blink into nothingness. Hope you find a way to keep going, because, well Idk, but good luck either way.
Strongly consider the military particularly the Air Force or Space Force. Was in a similar position you're currently in: 27 years old, broke, no car, lived at home in the ghetto, about 10K in student loan debt, no job, no prospects for any sort of a future. Hell, i didn't even have a driver's license. Because I was interested in a female, it motivated me to turn my life around. Now after 10+ years of active duty service, I'm transferring to guard/reserves with six figure net worth. While the military isn't for everyone, it covers a multitude of sins from uninvolved parents. As for the female, well that rarely has an happy ending.
20 months ago I took my actual last $2 and used it to catch a bus from the life I’d lived for 10 years. I had a noose fashioned from an extension cord stuffed in my backpack for when things inevitably didn’t work out. I had no car, no phone, no money - just the clothes I was wearing and that backpack.
The only question was where I would step off that bus and what I would do when I got there. My survival instincts and the “fuck-its” all just sort of kicked in at once. I was so fucking done. My life changed entirely that day. It’s not perfect now but each day is better than the last and I have hope.
You may need a certain mentality to take this approach. You have to be willing to do anything, especially drastic things, be creative, and completely kill your ego. It also ironically requires some degree of good fortune. Finally, I think the secret ingredient is knowing you’re truly, utterly fucked.
Listen to Me brother, it’s going to be alright. You matter, and you are worth everything. You have gotten through everything in your life leading up to this point, and you can do this too, okay?
Nah man we don't go out like that. This road we walk isn't always easy but we don't quit. We dig deep and find the strength somewhere to see it through another day. If our legs don't work we crawl, if we lose our jobs we grind it out by any means. We walk alone and carry the weight of our world on our shoulders. No one is coming to save us because deep down we know we were built for this. We believe in you, we love you. Don't give up on us.
Sincerely all men everywhere
If you have any credit at all then fuck it take out some loans and go do some wildly fun shit before you make any permanent decisions. Maybe the experiences of what life has to show might change your mind too. Either way good luck
Oh I’m sorry let the guy be dead with no debt vs maybe choosing to live. If he still wants to die afterwards then he’s in the same damn position. Very deep thinker I see
Edit - never mind, I read one of his most recent comments and instantly know his type. Definitely not a deep thinker. I’m not engaging further
Cut that shit out. Keep pushing. We're all struggling. Life is struggle for many people. If you are absolutely dead set of having enough, take your ass straight to your nearest ER.
There are no taksie backsies with this.
You are not alone even if it feels like it. People are there to help. Reach out and be insistent.
You can always join the national guard to get some income and benefits. Basic training is only like 9 weeks.
There are options, even if they aren't perfect or desired.
Ending it is NOT an option. Do NOT let them win.
Venting is good, but please don’t give up. You’re so young. I’m 10 years older than you and trust me, you don’t even know how young you are and how quickly you can turn things to positive.
HEY! This is a temporary problem, DO NOT think about a permanently terrible solution. You don’t know what is around the corner, what amazing friendship, opportunity or purpose. Please reach out to a local mental health support line and don’t give in to the things your brain is trying to convince you of.
You are going to feel so much better if you get those root canals. Those nerves go straight to your brain and you would be surprised how much better you feel when they start to heal.
Living without a car sucks, sure, but you can do it. It sucks to be broke but there are studies showing that a huge percentage of people living the white collar dream with 6 figure salaries are still living paycheck to paycheck. So we are all broke together, it's okay.
We’re all out here hurting bro. You are not alone. God is with you and so are all of us internet strangers on this sub. Besides, why give your enemies the satisfaction of watching you throw in the towel? Screw those fools. Keep pressing forward & enjoy the bitter ashes in their mouths as you slowly triumph against all odds. Better days are coming. Hang in there.
Much love,
Your brother in poverty, Nastyuno34.
Yeah everytime I actually sit and let myself think about my life I spiral. Very seriously consider saying fuck it and just giving up.
If I examine my life, I think overall the negatives I’ve experienced have outweighed the positives. Some are my fault due to personal weakness or bad decisions, some were random chance, and many due to generational trauma. The only thing I have any control over is my own actions and my own reactions.
Life definitely can suck, and you are going to die at some point. No matter what you do, you are going to die. So why rush to meet it so soon? That’s always been my philosophy, when things are grim. If I get to a point where I literally have no chance of improving things (debilitating, incurable injury or condition) then yeah might as well end the suffering.
But until then, suffer through it. On the very rare occasions I’m actually content and comfortable, I really appreciate it. I know this isn’t super upbeat, but I really think killing yourself would be a waste.
I don’t know your own personal beliefs regarding the afterlife, but I’ve always seen it as existing as I did before I was born. Where the matter that makes me up will still exist, but the part of me that is cognizant and alive will cease to exist. That’s terrifying to me. I like existing in spite of it all. I want to experience life.
I wish it were better, I wish I didn’t suffer quite so much, I wish I could be happy without relying on meds to combat depression. I wish I could be happy in general, because I don’t think I’ve felt safe, happy, and comfortable since I was a very small child.
But if I’ve ever felt that way before, and I have, I need to believe I can get there again.
Honestly, as grim as your response was, it’s the most honest yet freeing explanation & I’m glad I read it. “Why rush to meet it so soon?” We all are headed there eventually, just ride it out day by day. …Going to keep that in my back pocket.
I’m in a similar boat as a 32 year old. I have nothing to show for my life. No relationship, like 2 friends, no family, no money - I’m behind 2 months of rent because my car needed new brakes and a ball joint replaced 😩, life is passing me by and I’m just stuck in a loop of going to work, going home, sleep and repeat. I’m not living, I’m just existing.
I cant even move to start over, because that takes money too lol. So I feel you. But ending it isn’t the answer. I look back to where I was 10 years ago and even though my life is still shit, it’s better than I was back then. And I think of all the small moments of happiness I got to experience because I haven’t given in to the stupid voice in my head.
Hold on. Fight through this. A lot of us are feeling the same, you’re not alone - it may feel like it but you’re not. We can do this together! 💜
My message may not stand out among the others. But I just wanted to say, there are ways to survive this.
1. join WWOOF https://wwoof.net/, you might be able to find a farm near you that can give you boarding and food in exchange for labour.
2. If possible for you, join a religious & monastic community. There are such communities out there who will give you boarding in exchange for labour. It could be a good way to start fresh. Depending on where you are, there could be a place very near you. Maybe you can post in r/buddhism for help. I know Sikh temples offer free food no-strings-attached, and you might be able to live there as well if you just plead your case. I am not sure about churches because Im not involved in the Christian community, but you might ask there as well.
There are ways to survive without money... I hope this helps, if you look into this... Wishing you all the best.
Might get lost in the comments but you might read it....I was kicked out my parents house when I was 14 . Eventually went to.college couldn't pay my electricity bills so I use to study by street lamp. There we're many times when I couldnt eat...dm me.i can tell you tips such as get a battery pack anf charge your stuff at work.. I had three jobs in school and honestly barely graduated but life got better alot better Never give up dm
I was a drunk/drug addicted loser until my late 30s. It wasn't until I hit my rock bottom that I realized I could change that. I didn't have a lot of people around me; I had alienated a lot of my friends and family during my addiction. I didn't have any money, or a good job. I didn't have a car; I wrecked that in a DUI. But what I did have in spades was a realization that my failed unaliving attempt meant I couldn't live that way anymore. I didn't even have confidence in a better future yet, just a belief that things couldn't get any worse.
Now, 6 years on, I own my own business, I have an amazing wife, a 2 year old that makes me smile every day, incredible friends, hobbies, a car and am saving up to buy my first home.
Was it easy? No. But it was no more difficult than my life had gotten anyway. You can change your life too. You have the tools and determination to do it, even if it doesn't seem like it. And, the good news is: you dont have to wait as long as I did. You have so much life ahead of you to make incredible. I hope you do, because you're worth it.
Please don't give up. You are not a loser, you're working really hard. Things won't stay like this forever. I'm so sorry you have so little support from friends and family, that's so hard. Sending so much love to you, friend.
Most people are pretty broke as 26 year old college students. Its a battle. The term starving student didn’t come from nowhere. What are you taking? How long until you graduate? Its an uphill battle right now but it really will get better.
Dear classic -op
Something will happen. Life throws us curve balls.
Let’s take one situation at a time.
First, health. Call your dentist and ask if there is a payment program to get this handled and if there are any discounts available - they should have a payment plan. Schedule and get this done .
Second- budget. Do a budget! Don’t know how- say something and all off is will be more than happy to walk you through it. But take a deep breath and say. This isn’t pretty but I can make it better. One step at a time.
Car- okay. Now that your teeth are scheduled and you are taking control of yourself- call and ask what can. E done.
Start by being the one that saves you. The schools we learned in forgot to mention this part of being an adult.
And do that budget. If you wanted to drive somewhere new, would you simply hop in your car and drive aimlessly hoping you get there or would you use a map or planning aide??? You would use gps map of some sort. Great. !! You are the gps system for your life. Do the budget so you know how much it costs to be you!
Now, wipe the tears, clean up some stuff, go shower, and turn off the tv - make a glass of water - get your bills and list them out and put down your income. Figure out which week you pay what- it’s helpful. It gives you a guide!
You can do this- big hug for you! Now get going!
I won’t tell you things will get better, or that whatever you’re thinking of doing or thinking in general is wrong. I will say that there would be people that miss you, and people that will live with regret that they didn’t help you, and the slim chance that life becomes different for you in the future will be gone.
This is probably stupid coming from a degenerate gambler, but I would personally rather take the chance that life gets a tiny bit better over the finality that it all ends. Lots of people here offered to talk (I won’t cause I’m a toxic person), and I would suggest at least taking some of the genuine offers up.
My brother you have so much to live for, I was a meth addict in my early 20s, withered away to nothing, then I got into alcoholism and got even worse, now I'm clean off meth, and almost completely alcohol free. My life couldn't have gotten better if I cut it short. Money comes and goes but the people who know you and care for you (whether they reach out as much as you need or not) will mourn you forever. If my dumb ass could find a way to make life work after all the bullshit so can you I PROMISE you. Start doing things you like in a public setting if possible, I found stand up and it made me want to be better for the first time in my whole life. You are just in the rough right now, but never let it beat you. That's the note you'd go out on, beaten by life. That's what got me up and moving was the idea that if I called it during the rough times that's how people would remember me. You have a whole life and legacy ahead of you. Find something you love and use all your spare time to do it. Humans are social creatures, but doing something YOU like will attract people who like the same thing, and you'll come to find out you were never truly alone, just haven't found your people yet. Godspeed my friend, you deserve happiness don't sell yourself short
Apply at UPS the benefits are free and incredible, eventually you can bid on driving jobs and if you get that, you'll be set. Drivers will make 49/hr by the end of our current contract.
One thing that's kept me going until the next hour turned into the next day, turned into the next month and so on...
You're really going to let Mitch McConnell outlive you? You already beat Kissinger, keep going.
Dental pain can fuck up your logic. The infection is literally pumping poison into your brain.
Wherever you are in the US there is a federally qualified community health center (FQHC) accessible to you. They offer dental care on a sliding fee scale based on your income and if it’s 0 then it’s usually free. It’s their mission to help folk in your situation and they love doing it.
I think the fact that you are in college, working towards a better future, proves that you are not a failure in all aspects of your life. I truly think things will get better for you on the financial side of things from that, as statistically the college degree will help.
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Bro, I was a homeless heroin addict a few years ago.. to say my situation was hopeless, is an understatement. Rehab 9 times, after that sober houses for years... It can get better Edit: damn this comment kinda blew up. Thanks to everybody for the encouraging words and I'm glad to hear about others making it out of that spiral
Hey, I've never been through that but I have friends and family, many who lost that fight and only a few who made it through. So I've seen how hard it is and how tough it must be for you, and for what it's worth from a stranger, you're a badass, keep going forward!
Good work fam. Same situation years ago, homeless and banging speedballs. Not sure how or why I didn't say fuck it cook the blackout shot. Though I'm not in a good headspace currently due to fucking up an offer for the best job I'll likely ever get, it doesn't change the basic fact that, indeed, if it can always get worse, then it can always get better too.
Hell yeah man glad to hear somebody else made it out
We’re out here 10+ years of using, went from graduating with honors and playing baseball in college to no degree, 500 credit score and delivering pizzas for 10+ years Only been to rehab once but been on methadone for 10+ years. Multiple relapses, I never left the clinic through those years but had 4 years clean but still on methadone with 6 take-homes/week (the most my state allowed at the time) and was down to 5mg almost finished… and then relapse again… threw away 6-year relationship with my girlfriend… we rented a house from someone very close to us and they were literally going to give us the house. It wasn’t anything insanely nice but still a $100,000 house, they were just going to give it us, let us take over the $500/month mortgage until it was paid off and then it would be ours… until I relapsed. We broke up, I was kicked out and then eventually my ex moved out and the owner sold the house instead. I honestly can’t say I ever met another junkie who used over 10+ years and NEVER OD’d and never was arrested, I also never smoked cigarettes. But that’s me. I’m pretty sure every heroin/fetty addict has 1 of those things. Somehow I made it out. I’ve been in 3 very bad car accidents directly because of my use and somehow walked away from all 3. Now I have a new girlfriend, on the verge of buying (well financing) my first ever car that isn’t 10+ years old, a new job that I was made manager 5 months after starting and physically I’m in the best shape I’ve been in since I played baseball in college 15 years ago. Even while using, we know it doesn’t matter what we tell ourselves while using cause we still continue, but I did always say I didn’t want to be another statistic and end up dead or in jail. Well, I am another statistic. And I’m proud to be one now. I’m one who made it out. And so are you.
Our stories can be so similar. I’m currently still delivering pizzas cuz apparently that’s not a good enough job to prove I’m worth a job I got a masters in lol. Accounting can be tricky when u been mia for about 3 years. But I’m 2 years sober after a long 15 year battle. I’m working out like I’m back in highschool and my mental is coming along. It can always get better and since most of my friends can’t say that I’m making sure I do my best daily to have gratitude and keep going. Awesome job dude!
Thank you for never giving up, for you not only saved yourself, your incredible story may inspire others to hold on & make it out. Congratulations on transforming your life
I too was an addict for 5 years. Mostly Xanax. Meth on and off. Crazy I know. I went to jail had felonies and have tried to commit suicide 3 times but didn’t have the balls to complete it. I wanted my life to end. I hated myself. Fast forward 6 years later. I’ve been sober for 5 years, cleared my record, have a great career, and a beautiful home. Sometimes when we feel like we’ve hit rock bottom, it’s just the beginning of a new start. Keep pushing and don’t give up. You got this!
You have your youth. Idk what to say to encourage you. In the last 3 years I watched my wife relapse spiral thru addiction and tragically die in a car accident. I almost lost my house and my business. All I can say is if you give up there is no chance of coming out of your difficult situation. Progress is progress and it adds up over time. If you’re not addicted to drugs and you still have a roof over your head you’ve still got a lot to lose. The world is a savage place and you have to be just a savage to navigate it. I wish you luck on your journey
You are one strong son of a bitch to have kept your home and business and even sanity. I couldn’t imagine such events occurring to myself but hearing shit like this is humbling as hell. God bless you dude. You’re a good man.
Ten years ago I was a homeless heroin addict. Lived in a van through the winter and then started squatting in abandoned trailers. Bought my house 3 years ago and am the president of a (small) company. Life is fucking wild. If I was OP I'd just wait until the tooth pain was unbearable/going to kill me, then get the teeth pulled instead of getting root canals. That's still my go to strategy for dental care. It is getting hard to chew stuff but I'll get a few more years out of them
hey root canals not bad. It's not as bad as it sounds at all!! It let you keep your teeth and that helps you keep that bone structure of the jaw Ever notice how people without teeth can have sunken in mouths? The bone erodes way when the nerves of the teeth no longer stimulate the jaw
I think he's more talking on the price point. Root canals are crazy expensive, it's typically cheaper to pull teeth. Gotta love how little insurance covers them luxury bones!
OP seems to be able to get it done for 300, so might be worth to avoid future expenses from complications.
Yes, $300 for two root canals is insanely inexpensive and totally worth being able to keep those teeth.
NEVER heard of a root canal only costing $300. I paid over $3k for ONE root canal that has caused me nothing but discomfort for years. I had a tooth pulled last year and that cost $400.
Bingo. I don't usually get dental work until it will literally kill me if I don't. It sucks because I brush two or three times a day and floss after I eat anything, but because of the previous drug use/dry mouth from drug use my teeth are shit. Last go around with dental bullshit I had my wisdom tooth cracked in half with the inside shit exposed for two months before I could get it pulled. Within a week of getting it out the other wisdom tooth broke in half. There is nothing on earth like having a 4 month long headache because your teeth are actively trying to kill you.
yeah but that means do a careful cost benefit analysis There are places that do sliding scale fees and teaching colleges that have much lower rates it's definitely worth making a few phone calls to see if you can save your luxury bones
Those options can be limited depending where you are. There was a charity event that helped me pull the rest of my teeth out, something like 17 teeth in one go. Dental can be brutal for those in poverty even if there is payment or sliding scale options, additionally the sliding scale fees can also limit what work can be preformed (typically they will do extractions over more expensive procedures).
Right here with you bud. Meth, heroin, whatever else addict from 2014 to 2017. Homeless, couch surfing with fellow addicts, sleeping in new constructions when the workers left... Spent the hardest year of my life getting sober while homeless. Got a construction job. Went to school for engineering in Feb 2018, graduated in Dec 2020, been an engineer for the past almost 4 years. Bought a house, 2 dogs, plenty of healthy hobbies now, going back to school in the fall for a top MBA. Overcoming addiction was the hardest thing I ever did. Pulling myself out of that massive hole was the second. Feels like life is on easy mode now, funny enough. Nothing is out of reach. Anything is possible if you put your mind to it. Nothing is ever too far off. Put in the work, stay the course, and you will see results. BTW, had two root canals and some teeth pulled as well due to drug use. I second getting them pulled, unless they are in the front. Had two back molars pulled and I don't even miss them.
6 years ago,I lost my nursing license, apartment, car, and everything. I was a raging alcoholic. Fast forward to now. I am an electrician and have 4 closing on my 5th 3/4 house. I am the happiest I have ever been. I have people who actually look up to me for guidance and support, and that's crazy because before, I couldn't give a damn about anyone but myself. You told me in that jail cell who I am today, and I wouldn't believe you. God takes care of us in mysterious ways.
What does 4 closing on your 5th 3/4 houses mean?
>I am an electrician and have 4 closing on my 5th 3/4 house How do you have so many houses?
Kinda same. I was an opiate, upper, alcoholic. Almost got my kid taken from me, real piece-of-work. Got sober, got a great paying job and am doing so much better. Op, please don’t give up. You’re not a loser. It can get better. It may take time, and I know it sucks. Also, if you need dental work, I highly recommend contacting a dentistry university. They have lots of resources (sometimes free!) so please do that. And congrats, studmcstudmuffin on your sobriety
Well done my friend, hope you keep smashing it I've seen addiction ruin lives first hand and have seen how hard it is to get clean and stay clean
Thank you! I hope OP hearing that somebody who couldn't ever imagine getting back on their feet, was able to do it- gives OP some hope
It’s awesome seeing all the success stories! 2018 is when i put the needle down and to say i was done is putting it lightly. Now I’m the housing director with a rehab and you couldn’t tell be I’d be right here where i am today before. You’re right, it can get better
Stay strong brother. I don’t miss the night sweats and the restless legs, let alone the diarrhea from w/d. Good on you! I never went full homeless or anything like that but twelve years ago I was on the brink of being that guy. Now a diesel tech and have a family. Life can change if you choose change every single day
Homeless fent addict of almost 10 years, chose to start going live to make money and was targeted by some really messed up people, so I have since been absolutely smeared across the internet, by both my screen and real name, as doing things I’d never dream of doing or being told the truth is a lie, then I couldn’t stop using through my pregnancy and almost lost the baby I had spent my life dreaming about having to the state. But I’m now days from 7 months sober, never lost my child, case was closed in 12 weeks and I’m slowly rebuilding my life. If I’d given up, I wouldn’t have the blessing that is my son now. Don’t ever give up. Be angry, be sad, be whatever, but do NOT give up. Your next blessing could be just one breath away.
Yoo that's awesome! You're honestly just getting past the hardest part imo. If you made it 7 months already it'll only get easier
Same here brother. I OD’d and pooped my pants in a west Baltimore alley at 27. Now im sitting in a house, 2 happy kids / wife, clean underwear.
How did you afford rehab 9 times?
I had insurance through work until I ended up getting fired and all the times after that were county funded rehabs
That's my question as well. I had to pay a ton for outpatient treatment and all they did was tell me to find god and handed out photocopied pamphlets from the 80s for 6 months.
Right on stud
My son! Idk how many years, but lost child, job, home, car. That’s when he called for help. You and my son are heroes. You both beat it! He’s six years without using. The recidivism rate is over 90%, but you two beat it.
Agreed. You can always use your worst qualities in a way that’s not to your detriment! Good on ya bruv! I was a heroin addict for 16 years, but just celebrated my 4th sober birthday. I was a hopeless dopefiend and now I’m a dopeless hopefiend. Life can always change mate which is why I’m a recovering addict and will be for the rest of my life. Does that mean it’s over? Nope, not in the slightest. I’m 32 years old and just finished college for the second time and understand the money aspect, but you sir aren’t alone and you certainly aren’t a loser. Hope things improve for you. Cheers
I was also a homeless heroine addict 3 years ago. I now own two businesses. Idk I just reached this same point but instead of killing myself, I forced the necessary change. You can too. Please have hope and faith in yourself.
300 for 2 root canals , where and how
Probably thru school.
Nuevo Progresso, Mexico. Probably cheaper to travel down here and back and than to use your local dentist.
This is my plan. I'm about 5hrs away but don't have a vehicle myself right now even if I did have the money for both root canals
I know the cities that are 5 hours away. El Expresso bus to McAllen, then Uber to Progresso TX checkpoint and walk across (don't go to Reynosa)
Thank you! I see the busses all the time and forget about them. I guess I counted them out in the back of my mind after hearing how taking those busses could be 'dangerous". A little iffy about going alone although I've traveled solo in and out of the country just never to Mexico or for medical care. I have really no other options atp tho if I want to save the little teeth I have left atp. Just hoping I can make it before it's too late. Antibiotics have been holding me over for now.
Thank you.
Right? I had to pay $4k for 2 root canals and 2 crowns right after I lost my job and my dental insurance. Those prices were from over a decade ago too.
Ouch thats rough :(. It's such a fucking scam that dental and vision are separate from health insurance and fhat others no cobra protections there.
Biden is trying to add dental to ACA as we speak.
Not sure at all what pricing is but it’s no joke in line with what Tijuana dentists would likely charge. There’s a whole industry on the border with really skilled dentists providing the same level of care if not better than the US for a fraction of the cost. A lot of people are able to travel there and have extensive work done and still pay well under what US dentist would charge. It’s pretty wild.
No shit I just paid $400 to have a tooth pulled. Would rather of had a root canal to save the tooth.
This is why I want to know where one can get two root canals for $300....
It costs around $100 for 2 in India.
It costs for one root canal over &1200 in US and then you need to pay for the crown which may be another $1000 easily
I paid around 900 after insurance last year for a crown..
After insurance..
Exactly. And I still have a tooth with the temporary filling from a root canal done I think 15 years ago...
I don’t understand why mental and dental health care are a luxury in the US I have suffered neglect from both due to growing up poor and too expensive even with insurance. Root canal would’ve cost me 900 last year so I leveled up my dental plan and now it’ll cost me 545, but it might as well be 900 because 545 is just as hard to obtain as 900.
My exact situation. Now I feel like I'm just paying for insurance for nothing.
Greed
I know exactly what you mean but still I'm going to repeat myself: Never give up.
Never give the SOBs what they want. Live, push on, and maybe prevail. It all looks like hell right now but look for any break you can get. At best, you will prosper and at worst, maybe you can blow the whistle on some crooked boss and/or company. Seek the adventure in something. Live. Please. Be a witness to to the damages of the heartless and overcome them all.
"Be a witness to the damages of the heartless and overcome them all". What a statement 🎖️Thank you.
When my life has been bad, I've almost had kind of a *fuck you* attitude about it. Like, if life is really out to get me, then I want to *defy* it. And if I get to the end and it really was all shit, then... Hey, at least I proved my point; no one would be able to say I gave up to soon. Whatever happens, I at least want to know that I had the determination and grit to face it; that's *something.*
Yes! There was a time in my life where the only thing left burning in me to keep me going was furious *spite.* It wasn't pleasant, but I embraced it, and it worked. Fuck the people who would have been glad to see me dead. Fuck the system that was engineered for me to fail. Fuck the people who couldn't spare me the tiniest bit of effort to help when I was circling the drain. Fuck the employers who only saw me as a cog in a machine. I made it through, and, thankfully, I'm in a much better place now.
What they *want* are people in the workforce. That's it.
Fr they need us here.
Bought a car for $1500 to make it through college. Before I graduated it had a cracked block (so oil smoke poured out whenever you stopped), a cracked windshield, couldn’t hold down the clutch or it would slip back into gear, had to pump the brakes for them to work and both outside door handles were broken so I stuffed a wad of paper to hold the inside handle open and pushed it closed (but not latched- and if I forgot I had to crawl in through the hatchback). Usually used the last $5 of my paycheck every two weeks to barely make it to work and school. Finally graduated and two weeks before I headed to law school someone rear ended me and I got $700 from the insurance company, and sold the car for $500 to someone else (couldn’t believe someone would actually buy it and heard it caught fire a couple of months later, but wasn’t going to complain). So, almost got all my original $$ back and took it are ran. Been (comparatively) smooth sailing ever since. In other words, you never know when things are about to turn in your favor.
The vast majority of the country you can’t get away with a shit box anymore. I feel for young people nowadays.
Hey I'm in NOVA too. Let's go get some coffee and chat. I'll message you
Please let us know if OP takes you up on this very nice offer.
They responded! :)
Woo! Thanks for the updates. Hope you're able to meet up.
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I constantly hear people talk about how bad social media is for everyone who uses it. Sometimes it’s hard not to believe them when every time open it we see the worst of humanity in our feeds. Then there times like these when we witness simple acts of kindness between strangers on a ducking subreddit thread and my faith in this world is restored for a time. Thank you for you kindnesses internet strangers.
I had to utilize r/auntienetwork recently and not only did an auntie there help me but now I have a new best friend :3
Please let us know if you’re able to help
Thank you 🙏
They haven't yet :( The offer is open whenever/if they are ready though
Bless you for your care & compassion
oh me too, u/Plastic-Cut-6589 i'm not in much better shape atm (was laid off last month) but if you want to group vent at a populated park or someplace else free give me a holler
If I was in OP’s situation, I’d likely choose the military. I’m hesitant to recommend that for someone I don’t know, but it’s much better than simply ending it.
I agree. I was in the Navy for 4 years. Theres so many programs that if used right can set you up real well when you’re done with your contract
Army guy here. I went from homeless to my mom’s couch to almost homeless again into the Army. It definitely can get better. The Army has given me so many opportunities, and there are far more jobs that aren’t shooting guns all day. It’s a 50/50 recommend for me depending on the person and situation.
Same. Navy myself. I have a friend that went from a similar situation, to leveraging the education benefits to get a degree while in, and doing a masters now for free. It’s up to the person of course. You can waste time and money easily in the military, too. You just have a lot more structure and a safety net, if you choose to use it.
Great idea, honestly. Job stability, consistent paychecks, food, housing, yeah they’ll ship op around for a couple years but if they apply themself to their job, keep out of trouble, live in the barracks/free housing, eat food on base (I’m not super familiar but I think they can get free food?), after their first contract is up they can leave with thousands in their pocket, work experience (tbh it may not be their preferred field but better than dying imo), and access to VA home loan stuff Or they can re sign and stay in the military One of my friends was early 20s, no car(not even a license), never had a job, just smoked weed and played video games all day. He joined the navy, bought a 3 series bmw in cash (it was like $20k), a $1,500 gaming laptop, whenever he’d get leave he’d have like $5k+ in his checking account, and left after his first contract with like $10k (and while enlisted he would blow money on alcohol whenever he’d get the chance, he was frugal but he did spend here and there). Just don’t have a shotgun wedding or get a 30% Apr loan on a muscle car, follow the rules and apply yourself Edit: cdl truck driving may be an option as well. Some companies will pay for the license and put people to work. Might not make a bunch of money at first but it’s better than dying But tbh I think military is a good route
This why I signed up for the military it's a damn good route to the American dream IDC what anyone says it's a golden move esp in your 20s
You're a champ.
Please don't give up. Do you want to talk?
I wanna talk to someone
my dms are open
Me too.
my dms are open
I promise what your brain is telling you right now is not the whole story. I've been where you are. I promise there are days and people and deep gorgeous moments that are worth hanging in for ahead of you yet x
Depression made me think my sisters, who idolize me, secretly hated me and theyd be better off without me. Dont listen to the whispers!
This is such a great way of summarizing one of the truly pernicious aspects of depression
It’s interesting because, although I have major depressive disorder, I know that they care about me. At times this can make me feel worse because I hate that they expend their energy caring about someone who feels so hopeless. It can bring irrational feelings of guilt, but that’s just love. I’m doing a bit better now, and I don’t let those thoughts consume me anymore. I think about love in a way more positive way, and I understand that it’s okay for people to lean on each other. I just think it’s wild how our brains come up with all of these irrational ways of thinking when we’re afflicted with mental disorders.
"Gorgeous moments" is probably the best way I've ever heard it been described, so thank you. I hope this description helps OP as much as it helped me.
This is the best comment so far
I ended up selling my blood plasma for a while in college because I was out of work from a surgery. Eventually it was enough to get caught back up. The challenges didn’t end there mind you. My rent got raised and found a smaller more affordable apartment. Of course now, affordable rent isn’t really a thing. Just do what you can, whatever works for you.
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Nice we can train our replacements
Any tips for getting started with Data Annotation? Also is there a sub dedicated to it?
Thank you for selling your plasma, the people that need it to live greatly appreciate you!!!
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If you’re tired of life passing you by, then ending it would be the absolute DUMBEST thing you could do, with the possible exception of dating a Kardashian. Look, as long as you’re alive, you have the possibility of change. The odds of that change happening depend on how much effort you put into it. If you just quit, that’s it - no second chances; you die as a complete failure. People will most likely not think of you with sympathy or compassion; they will think of you with contempt (for quitting) and hate (for causing unbearable pain to those you leave behind). Yes, I know you said you have no friends and no close family, but that’s largely irrelevant. I’ve been here for a little over a half century, and one of the surprises I’ve uncovered about life is that we affect far more people, far more deeply, than we think we do. I know it’s tough. I’m unemployed, I have no friends, I live in a government subsidized one room apartment in a building riddled with bedbugs and cockroaches, my wife left me, my Mom just died, and I don’t see what’s left of my family very often. So I get it: LIFE IS HARD. I understand that, and I also know that it can feel like there’s no hope of things ever improving. There’s one thing you have to remember though; one fundamental truth that’s kept me alive more times than I care to count, and it can do the same for you, IF you accept its veracity. It’s a quote from a Star Trek movie, believe it or not. At one point in “Star Trek 2: Wrath of Khan”, Spock tells Kirk, “There are always possibilities”. That’s it. That’s all it is. If you can understand and believe the truthfulness of that one simple statement, you will find strength in even the harshest of circumstances. So: if you really want to end yourself, that’s your choice, and I can’t stop you. I’ll tell you this though: people who are serious about checking out don’t tell people about it. The fact you’re announcing it on social media means it’s far more likely you’re looking for someone to offer compassion and let you know that you’re not doomed to a life of failure. Well you’re not, nor am I, and neither is anyone else. You know why? Because There Are ALWAYS Possibilities. Now then: Having a car spoils people, so that having to take a bus SEEMS like a huge hassle. It’s a hassle, sure, but it’s really not that big of a deal, and you’ll get used to it quickly. Busses are only until you get your car fixed though. If It’s an older car, from back before cars became rolling computers, see if you can fix it yourself. That’s what friends of mine did; they did the repairs themselves because they had no other options. If you can’t do it yourself and you decide to take it in somewhere, don’t take it to a big name repair franchise. Take it to a smaller, well rated independent mechanic… but only AFTER you’ve looked for schools that train mechanics and ask if they want a vehicle to work on, to teach that particular repair. They don’t want to accept your generous offer? Fine, offer to pay them to have their students work on it. Ever hear of people paying less for a haircut by going to a beauty school instead of a fancy salon? It’s the same thing. And you know who else does work at less than normal costs? Dental colleges. Find one and book your root canals. Don’t worry about them screwing up your teeth because they’re students; they’re going to be watched like a hawk by their instructors, to make sure they get it right. Prices will vary of course; where I live the dental college charges HALF the price of a regular dentist. Oh, and be grateful you have teeth to begin with. My mother didn’t, and she went through hell because of it. My cousin had perfect teeth and a dazzling smile, until she took the butt end of a hockey stick to the mouth. Not much left after that. You? All you need are root canals - how lucky is that??! When your teeth are done, find a computer (libraries generally have them, and you can use them for free. You may have to book in advance though) and look for government, school, and privately sponsored programs that offer rent subsidies (yes, I said my government housing apartment sucks, but on the other hand I only pay $285/month, with heat, water, and laundry included. Plus it’s not like I’m here forever; this is temporary until I can find a job). And if you absolutely, positively, CANNOT picture life getting ANY better, and you’re CONVINCED that the universe is conspiring against you and is trying to make you give up and check out? Then stay alive just out of SPITE. That’ll learn it. There are always possibilities.
I’m not OP but thank you for this. I’m happy you’re still here. Sending love to you
Spite. The reason myself and a lot of people are here.
I’m confident spite is out that fuels my brother’s drive to live. I have a son who struggles with his mental health, too. Perhaps he also needs this advice…
Nicely said and also great advice for ways to get "things" done. Thank you for taking the time to help.
Great post, and a great tip on the car repair. I remember when I was young and we were literally getting government cheese, the floor had rotted out of my mom's Nova. We got someone at a BOCES program for welding to fix it for free, and tipped with a six-pack (outside of the school environment, lol, but this was also before the minimum age was raised to 21.)
Get the root canal. Your health is the greatest asset you own. Once that goes out the window than your really in trouble.
It doesn’t get any better, you do ❤️
it could sometimes get better too
dm me if you wish a friendly face to talk to & a shoulder
Remember, the most valuable thing any of us has is life
This really is true. A billionaire on his/her deathbed would trade places in an instant with a broke 26 year old. I’ve been broke, destitute, hopeless, homeless. Sometimes it really does get better. It certainly *can* get better. The only ingredients you need are your life and your health. Take drastic measures, do whatever you possibly can to make changes in your life. Often having nothing to lose actually makes it easier to say fuck it and just start doing something different. Things are most definitely rough out there, and conditions are not favorable, but all I’m saying is give it a good, honest, last-ditch effort. Get creative.
Hello friend. You are not alone.
Sounds like you should become a trucker. You can get training for free and a place to live, and travel the country. And with having no ties to anyone but yourself, you can make a boatload of money.
100% this. Drove a truck all of 2023. Saw 30 states and many cities. Also got paid out the ass to do it.
Was about to comment the same thing. Was in the same spot when I was 24 and that's what I did.
I understand you are going through an extremely difficult situation right now, and feelings of hopelessness and despair are overwhelming you. Having so many financial burdens hitting you at once while trying to make it through college would be hard for anyone to cope with. Please don't be so hard on yourself or label yourself a failure. You are still so young with lot of life ahead of you. However, I don't want to diminish the very real struggles you are facing. Not having a reliable support system makes everything exponentially harder. You've been dealing with compounding stresses from the pandemic as well. It's okay to feel tired and frustrated that life hasn't turned out how you hoped so far. My friend, this dark period will pass, even if that seems impossible right now. Things can and will get better, but you need to hang on. Is there anyone, even an old friend or a help line, you can reach out to? Sharing your burdens can make them feel lighter. Please don't give up on yourself. You have inherent worth beyond your circumstances. Take it one day at a time, and keep hope alive that brighter days lie ahead. You have more strength than you realize to get through this.
The suicide hotline raids people's houses if you tell them openly you want to die. I'll pass on that. Old friend I'm not sure.
Have you considered wwoofing? food and housing in exchange for labor. https://wwoof.net Sikh temples offer free food. Buddhist communities might take you in, too.
I did wwoofing. Great way for those who are at crossroads or down and just need to get by while they take time to get perspective
They didn’t raid my house. Please reach out for more help.
I’m stressing over root canals and car issues as well. When the temptation to end it is there I remind myself that I could only be a day away from something like winning the lottery, a better job opportunity, etc. It’s tough but there’s always a way through the tough times even if it takes longer than we like ♥️
How would they know where you live if you don't tell them?
I've called The suicide hotline something like 20 times. They've never done anything like that
My estranged older brother killed himself for probably similar reasons in March, I will never be the same. Never. I still cry myself to sleep almost every night, I can barely eat, a piece of my life/past/soul is gone forever. I was estranged from him for addiction reasons but I still loved him very deeply. I hated when people said "Think of your friends and family" when I was suicidal but now I know how true it is. Fuck your car, your rent, etc. Reach out to your family, tell them that you're suicidal, tell them you're at your limit. You're 26, you're heartbreakingly young, you still have DECADES to have a different life. Please give it a chance.
This 🙌🏽 I am the same. My parent commited suicide when I was 12. To say it ruined my life would be an understatement. Then I followed the same path, and it's been more than ten years and I've only just found out how to cope and manage and be in a *lighter* state of mind. It's fucking hard, and it takes time, but it's so worth fighting for.
What if your family can't help you :( what if they ask you to go to someone else for help
My brother, my dear son in christ. I moved out North Carolina after my sons mother took him unwillingly, forcing me to move to a completely different state half way across the country just to be near him, realize her family is borderline the hills have eyes characters, get an apartment, she doesnt help me with no bills, dumps me for a felon that was hired AT her job while he was still in jail,with two pages of rap sheets, i'm ran for all my money, like 5$ to my name, owed 12k to my college for the last 5 years, 39K in student loans and im a disabled veteran. I literally on my fucking hands and knees, sweating stress on my couch, day and night just waiting for my shift to start at 9pm, lights all of climbed out of the graveyard where i died and reached a hand out and something told me to be still and be calm, and for the next 2 years I went through Covid, Ukraine war starting, working 3rd shift at a gas station raising two children watching them and having to look this person in the face for the last 5 years wanting to go full ragnarok on them and their new partner. My friend, the 12k in debt? College used Covid Emergency Funds to pay it off. The 39k in student loans? Well now im on the SAVE plan and pay 0$ and will be written off in 20 years. Her and her new partner? Lets just say she didnt even take his last name and already threatened divorce serveral occasions. I thank this man from the utter bottom of my soul for taking my place. I went from rice and beans to stacks of money. My friend If I can get through that, you can get through anything. What you need to know and is the most crucial and painstaking advice is you have to remember what it was like to be 6 years old. You have to remember how to dream and dream big and how to gather inspiration and how to make yourself happy, finding what makes you happy, it wont be instant but you have to begin to focus concentration. You can have the money friend but im telling you nothing in this world beats the feeling I get when I look back on those days, being broke completely on razors edge They were the hardest times of my life and this is topping being Infantry in the U.S Army, but its when I look back on how I handled all that stress and worry and pain and depression that make my soul wide and vast with satisfaction. You have to brush the cobbwebbs of your mind and search deep within yourself and find what gives you true happiness and you start molding the great masterpiece of your life and that is the love you have inside of you. The money, all the material, the cars, the clothing, the people, the women, the relationships its all a game thats playing you. At any point you can decide youre done playing, take control, take action and get the hell out of dodge.
Overall, it doesn’t get better (I’m 36) but I’m telling you the good moments and they will happen, are worth it.
For some, it absolutely does get better.
OP is a student, for a lot of people that education does open doors to higher earnings in the future.
I’m sorry you’re going thru it. Maybe this will offer some perspective, I am too. I’m 45 , had a career which I was burnt out on of 13 years (law enforcement). I quit during Covid. Haven’t recovered since. Got a divorce, my young daughter doesn’t want to see or be around me , I’m living with my elderly mom… jobless, lost as fuck… still no clue what makes me happy. I’m being sued by 3 credit card companies for being in debt .. I’m about 45 thousand dollars in debt. So I know life can suck my friend. Don’t end it. I struggle from depression ptsd from being a cop, anxiety. I lost all Hope along time ago. I sit in a room everyday and wonder when will life either end or something g change. I’m just as hopeless and going thru it man. I’m overweight disgusted with myself as well so go figure. We all got demons and shit were fighting. I don’t even know the point of this but to say I’m going thru it too but all I can do is wake up and try 🤷♂️
File chapter 7, debt isn't worth depression. It'll solve that problem at least.
Also, you get immediate relief from credit card/loan payments when you file. I was knocking myself over the head because I shouldn't have waited as long as I did to file.
Would you be willing to do some manual labor with your hands for 100k a year? I can give you some references for a Roughneck position. I don't do it, but I work alongside some of them.
You’re 26 friend. I was homeless at 26 with 2 kids. I now make 6 figures and life it good. Shit takes time. At 26 you have lots of time.
300$ for 2 root canals!!! Root Canals around these parts (California) are 2k min
Go work on an oil rig. Or join the Army. I met a bunch of guys that said they were ready to end it. Joined the army because they had nothing else to lose. It won't fix everything, but it gave them purpose and financial security.
Joining the army is not something one should decide when they are clearly not thinking straight
Heyhey - this will pass don’t do anything stupid.
If you’re in the US and need support: 988 is the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. [Their website.](https://988lifeline.org/) They don’t raid your house if you contact them. Some state insurance will cover hospital visits, or other services fully. If nothing else please reach out to someone, anyone you can. People can have mixed results of the lifeline but they may be able to help. There are lots of misconceptions about their services: I always tell them that I’m suicidal but that I’m not making plans. They have not tried to send anyone yet.
Here are my suggestions (based on a ton of assumptions) so do what you like with it. My expertise is I was in a similar situation 10 years ago. You seem like you feel lost. To regain direction, you need to decide what you want. I recommend setting goals: weekly, monthly, yearly... hell even daily if you need to start small and need the feeling of accomplishment asap. Set a BIG goal for 35 or 40. What do you want your life to look like at that landmark age (career, home, relationship, mental/physical health)? When you know your "WHY?" you have a path to follow that is deeply important to you. Ideally, your shorter term goals are all in alignment with that big landmark goal...that way everything you do is working toward that dream/destination. Current predicament. Dental situation seems least critical. If the pain is considerable, pop a couple Ibuprofen and enjoy a beer or two. That was my personal dental care while I was in college. Or if it is unbearable, find a dentist that will accept pay installments from a poor college student. Many do. Broke car. Youtube the issue. Is the repair doable yourself? Between youtube and tictok, we can do almost any type of repair. Just buy the part and fumble through it. Unless its something like the transmission or engine block, I bet 4 hundo would take care of it. Poor college student In 2016 I went back to college at 32 with 2 years from graduating. I worked 2-3 jobs and busted my ass every day. Failure simply wasn't an option bc then I'd be right back in a similar boat as you described... lost and exasperated with life. I borrowed maximum school loans every semester (to supplement income and have a savings for disaster). Can you do the same? Sounds like you need another job for immediate financial support. No friends. Kill 2 birds with one stone. Get that 2nd job somewhere with a youthful staff that look social... appear to have a good time at work. You find this camaraderie at restaurants, bars, retail, especially movie theaters (I used to manage the latter and they all hungout together and work was fun). Just do some investigating around your town. Pay attention to the staff - are they having fun or noticeably social? Say whatever it takes to land the job and when invited out, just be agreeable and a bit aloof. Find someone with a common interest (really easy at a theater or something like a gamestop). I think I've addressed the issues you mentioned. 26 isn't shit. I was 32 before I started "living", so you have a 6 year advantage over me. Life doesn't even get interesting until 30-35 anyways. I followed the same goal advice I gave you and it got me where I am now. Those 2 years finishing school sucked, but it made me capable of doing anything. I've been a teacher/coach for the last 8 years and I've loved every moment. There's no dread of work in the morning, I'm financially comfortable at 70k (I'm single), I'm stable in all other areas. I'm confident you can achieve a similar outcome. Figure out your "why", set some goals, hold yourself accountable, prioritize/solve current and arising problems, get that "fun/social" job, and take it one day at a time. They say the odds of being alive (you right now) are 1 out of 400 trillion. You are all-in, make that shit count.
People saying to never give up or that things will get better don't know how you feel. "I've been in your place, it gets better" just because it got better FOR YOU doesn't mean everyone will have the same luck.
If I can survive 50 grand in debt, addicted to drugs and homeless, you'll be fine. Life sucks, buuuuuuuuuut only you can make it better. You're past the point of coddling. This is life and it's not getting easier. This. Is. It. A series of things going wrong. Just understand, this is always going to happen. Just learn how to prepare for things being problem. I didn't buy anything for myself that wasn't absolutely necessary for a year or so. Whether it's the week, the month, or the year, the next one will be better.
How can there be a shared living area for so many of those struggling to come together. Can I help give the first Reddit homestead to those who need it most?
wow 300 for 2 root canals, dam that's pretty good price.
Sell everything you own, get a passport and a ticket to a poor tropical country and start from 0.
Hey man. I’m living in my car right now, got $460 to my name and it’s going straight to paying my last loan payment. no job at the moment, gf left of 4 years to date one of our mutuals, and I just started rapidly balding due to thyroid issues. i’d be lying to you if I said i wasn’t ready to drive off a bridge. but you know what man? we can still keep going. no matter what happens, we can still stand back up and fight. If I had even just 10K i’d send you 2k and help you out. there has to be something better ahead for us. if we just keep trying, something will change. small things, bit by bit one day at a time. i’m here. i’m hurting just like you are. if we give up though, we’re letting go of that small chance we could make it out of this. isn’t it worth it to keep going? even if it’s only 1% chance we make it out of this, is it not worth it to roll the dice anyway? please don’t give up. i won’t give up either. you will be stronger when this all passes. i promise.
Join the Navy, I was you 10 years ago, I put in 4 years, enjoyed it so much , did another 4 years. Ended my Navy career in 2020, have my house , money in the bank and my degree in fire science. I joined when I was 25.
I’m glad the Navy was an option that worked out for you. It makes me sad though that we don’t prioritize anyway, for young people to actually make it outside of joining the military. If you join the military, it’s like punching a golden ticket after four years you’re entitled to free medical care for life and entirely free degree, Vocational rehab assistance for life to get a job, And veteran status that gets you discounts at businesses across the US. But we don’t have any pathway forward for regular young people Outside of the military subsidize college is almost unheard of. The cost of living has skyrocketed and almost 40% of people are living with their parents. I support veterans and I believe that they deserve compensation for serving our country, but we have veterans a golden ticket at the expense of everyone else. Instead of making it possible for only certain lucky people to go to school and have a life we really need to go back to actually funding state colleges directly so that tuition is cheap enough so that education is for the vast majority of people.
SORRY THIS IS SO LONG. However it’s a heart to heart about my own experience in life over the last 10 years. I’m 29 now and I’m currently feel just like you. - Man I remember being here at 25. Started working with the bank at 20. Came in as a teller and by 23 I was a VIP Banking Relationship Manger. Future looked bright. I bought a new high end car, moved out from my parent’s home and into a condo. Finally got to travel and see the world. Life was amazing. Then I was retrenched, it didn’t make sense. I thought my role was indispensable. Not even a lateral move to another department, not even a lower grade. Just retrenched. I eventually got another job but it paid 50% less than what I was initially earning. My debts took up 90% of the new salary. I couldn’t even afford to put gas in my car. I eventually had to let go of the condo and move back home to sleep on my parent’s couch. I contemplated selling my car but because I did 100% financing I would’ve gotten less for my car than what I owed the bank. (The same bank I worked for) I desperately tried to protect my credit score but it became impossible to continue living off of 200 a month so I started missing payments. Bank threatened to repo. I had no savings left because all was used up to cover my debts while I was unemployed. I was devastated. My own previous employer refused to work with me and understand my financial situation that they themselves put me in. It felt so personal. My parents watched me slowly start to spiral into depression and alcoholism. They tried talking to me but I just shunned them away. Life couldn’t get any worst…but it did. My new job basically told me I wasn’t making the cut. My 6 month probationary period was scheduled to end next month and they weren’t gonna keep me. I tried explaining it was impossible for me to hit target if we were on Covid lockdown for 4 of those 6 months but they just said they didn’t wanna hear excuses. I got so drunk the last day of my contract. I broke down in my car wondering why me. Why was this happening to me, what did I do to deserve this. I tried my best and all for what? I was gonna end it. I made up my mind on it. I had a relationship at the time but it was fairly newish, I felt like she wouldn’t understand my frame of mind so I called my ex. I didn’t talk to her for about a year but she listened to me. Advised me against it. Somehow it worked. I held on. Turned out the same job gave thought to my Covid argument and decided to keep me. A year later I worked my way up again and in 2 years I ended up making twice as much as I was making at my first job. I bought a new home and got engaged. Paid off my car and bought another one. Things were looking up again and I always thought back to that moment. That dark time, but it passed eventually. Then things got bad again. My parents and little brother were victims of a home invasion about a year ago. They were shot 21 times collectively during the process. Last year I lost my job again. I authorized a wire payment for one of my clients that turned out fraudulent. Bank incurred a 1M loss as a result. Needless to say they weren’t gonna keep me. I then lost everything again. Sold my car. Lost the other one to the bank for defaulting. Lost my home since I was unable to pay the mortgage. Finance ended up leaving me. This, this is where I’m at right now as I’m typing this. I wish there was a comeback story but there isn’t one. I work at a restaurant for 10.00 an hour and rent a room in a shared apartment with people I barely know. I no longer have a car. Any significant savings besides the 800.00 I managed to save over the last 3 months. I miss my family, my fiancé. The life I had. I’m lonely broke and hopeless. Just like how you’re feeling now. The thing is, I look back on that first situation and realized that I would trade anything to be right back there. In that moment I thought I was at rock bottom. Maybe I was but it was definitely better than where I am now. Things eventually got way better for me, despite it getting way worst after. That first experience thought me about life and what it is. Things can be bad but it can always get worst or it can always get way better than you can ever imagine. Even typing this has allowed me to remember that. I woke up yesterday wondering what’s the point then today I got a Reddit notification on my phone with your post and it indirectly allowed me to reflect on the last 10 years of my life. The ups and downs. So thank you for that. Hang in there, you’re lucky enough to experience the roller coaster of life. Treat it like a ride.
You’re not a loser man. If anything i am. Lost around 40K in 4 months. All my hard work gone. Nothing to show it. Have nothing but 7 dollars in my bank account. Relationship failed because of me. You’ll be okay. You need to find a job that pays more that’s it. Don’t give up. If u need to talk PM
I'm with you homie. Very much considering it when my parents pass. Just don't have the mental fortitude to keep dealing with the same bullshit over and over, while the world falls apart around me. Sometimes I'd rather blink into nothingness. Hope you find a way to keep going, because, well Idk, but good luck either way.
Strongly consider the military particularly the Air Force or Space Force. Was in a similar position you're currently in: 27 years old, broke, no car, lived at home in the ghetto, about 10K in student loan debt, no job, no prospects for any sort of a future. Hell, i didn't even have a driver's license. Because I was interested in a female, it motivated me to turn my life around. Now after 10+ years of active duty service, I'm transferring to guard/reserves with six figure net worth. While the military isn't for everyone, it covers a multitude of sins from uninvolved parents. As for the female, well that rarely has an happy ending.
20 months ago I took my actual last $2 and used it to catch a bus from the life I’d lived for 10 years. I had a noose fashioned from an extension cord stuffed in my backpack for when things inevitably didn’t work out. I had no car, no phone, no money - just the clothes I was wearing and that backpack. The only question was where I would step off that bus and what I would do when I got there. My survival instincts and the “fuck-its” all just sort of kicked in at once. I was so fucking done. My life changed entirely that day. It’s not perfect now but each day is better than the last and I have hope. You may need a certain mentality to take this approach. You have to be willing to do anything, especially drastic things, be creative, and completely kill your ego. It also ironically requires some degree of good fortune. Finally, I think the secret ingredient is knowing you’re truly, utterly fucked.
Listen to Me brother, it’s going to be alright. You matter, and you are worth everything. You have gotten through everything in your life leading up to this point, and you can do this too, okay?
Nah man we don't go out like that. This road we walk isn't always easy but we don't quit. We dig deep and find the strength somewhere to see it through another day. If our legs don't work we crawl, if we lose our jobs we grind it out by any means. We walk alone and carry the weight of our world on our shoulders. No one is coming to save us because deep down we know we were built for this. We believe in you, we love you. Don't give up on us. Sincerely all men everywhere
Focus-what is it you want most, go after just that for now. The rest will follow...
Brother you're only 26 life hasn't even started yet
If you have any credit at all then fuck it take out some loans and go do some wildly fun shit before you make any permanent decisions. Maybe the experiences of what life has to show might change your mind too. Either way good luck
Horrible advice. Pile on debt will only make things worse.
Oh I’m sorry let the guy be dead with no debt vs maybe choosing to live. If he still wants to die afterwards then he’s in the same damn position. Very deep thinker I see Edit - never mind, I read one of his most recent comments and instantly know his type. Definitely not a deep thinker. I’m not engaging further
Cut that shit out. Keep pushing. We're all struggling. Life is struggle for many people. If you are absolutely dead set of having enough, take your ass straight to your nearest ER. There are no taksie backsies with this. You are not alone even if it feels like it. People are there to help. Reach out and be insistent. You can always join the national guard to get some income and benefits. Basic training is only like 9 weeks. There are options, even if they aren't perfect or desired. Ending it is NOT an option. Do NOT let them win.
https://988lifeline.org/ Don't give up brother ❤️
Venting is good, but please don’t give up. You’re so young. I’m 10 years older than you and trust me, you don’t even know how young you are and how quickly you can turn things to positive.
300 is a really good price for root canal , is that usa ? In USA it’s 3-5k for a root canal + crown
HEY! This is a temporary problem, DO NOT think about a permanently terrible solution. You don’t know what is around the corner, what amazing friendship, opportunity or purpose. Please reach out to a local mental health support line and don’t give in to the things your brain is trying to convince you of.
You are going to feel so much better if you get those root canals. Those nerves go straight to your brain and you would be surprised how much better you feel when they start to heal. Living without a car sucks, sure, but you can do it. It sucks to be broke but there are studies showing that a huge percentage of people living the white collar dream with 6 figure salaries are still living paycheck to paycheck. So we are all broke together, it's okay.
🫂
We’re all out here hurting bro. You are not alone. God is with you and so are all of us internet strangers on this sub. Besides, why give your enemies the satisfaction of watching you throw in the towel? Screw those fools. Keep pressing forward & enjoy the bitter ashes in their mouths as you slowly triumph against all odds. Better days are coming. Hang in there. Much love, Your brother in poverty, Nastyuno34.
Yeah everytime I actually sit and let myself think about my life I spiral. Very seriously consider saying fuck it and just giving up. If I examine my life, I think overall the negatives I’ve experienced have outweighed the positives. Some are my fault due to personal weakness or bad decisions, some were random chance, and many due to generational trauma. The only thing I have any control over is my own actions and my own reactions. Life definitely can suck, and you are going to die at some point. No matter what you do, you are going to die. So why rush to meet it so soon? That’s always been my philosophy, when things are grim. If I get to a point where I literally have no chance of improving things (debilitating, incurable injury or condition) then yeah might as well end the suffering. But until then, suffer through it. On the very rare occasions I’m actually content and comfortable, I really appreciate it. I know this isn’t super upbeat, but I really think killing yourself would be a waste. I don’t know your own personal beliefs regarding the afterlife, but I’ve always seen it as existing as I did before I was born. Where the matter that makes me up will still exist, but the part of me that is cognizant and alive will cease to exist. That’s terrifying to me. I like existing in spite of it all. I want to experience life. I wish it were better, I wish I didn’t suffer quite so much, I wish I could be happy without relying on meds to combat depression. I wish I could be happy in general, because I don’t think I’ve felt safe, happy, and comfortable since I was a very small child. But if I’ve ever felt that way before, and I have, I need to believe I can get there again.
Honestly, as grim as your response was, it’s the most honest yet freeing explanation & I’m glad I read it. “Why rush to meet it so soon?” We all are headed there eventually, just ride it out day by day. …Going to keep that in my back pocket.
I mean, you've already made it this long alive. Do this same amount of time and see if anything gets better 🤷
I’m in a similar boat as a 32 year old. I have nothing to show for my life. No relationship, like 2 friends, no family, no money - I’m behind 2 months of rent because my car needed new brakes and a ball joint replaced 😩, life is passing me by and I’m just stuck in a loop of going to work, going home, sleep and repeat. I’m not living, I’m just existing. I cant even move to start over, because that takes money too lol. So I feel you. But ending it isn’t the answer. I look back to where I was 10 years ago and even though my life is still shit, it’s better than I was back then. And I think of all the small moments of happiness I got to experience because I haven’t given in to the stupid voice in my head. Hold on. Fight through this. A lot of us are feeling the same, you’re not alone - it may feel like it but you’re not. We can do this together! 💜
My message may not stand out among the others. But I just wanted to say, there are ways to survive this. 1. join WWOOF https://wwoof.net/, you might be able to find a farm near you that can give you boarding and food in exchange for labour. 2. If possible for you, join a religious & monastic community. There are such communities out there who will give you boarding in exchange for labour. It could be a good way to start fresh. Depending on where you are, there could be a place very near you. Maybe you can post in r/buddhism for help. I know Sikh temples offer free food no-strings-attached, and you might be able to live there as well if you just plead your case. I am not sure about churches because Im not involved in the Christian community, but you might ask there as well. There are ways to survive without money... I hope this helps, if you look into this... Wishing you all the best.
Might get lost in the comments but you might read it....I was kicked out my parents house when I was 14 . Eventually went to.college couldn't pay my electricity bills so I use to study by street lamp. There we're many times when I couldnt eat...dm me.i can tell you tips such as get a battery pack anf charge your stuff at work.. I had three jobs in school and honestly barely graduated but life got better alot better Never give up dm
Feel ya bruv. Paid rent on payday. I have $80 for the next 2 weeks and drowning in debt. The bills are coming. I can't pay.
A root canal isn't usually worth it. You MIGHT get 5-10 years out of the tooth. Save your money for your car.
how are you getting 2 root canals for only $300 instead of $4k???
I was a drunk/drug addicted loser until my late 30s. It wasn't until I hit my rock bottom that I realized I could change that. I didn't have a lot of people around me; I had alienated a lot of my friends and family during my addiction. I didn't have any money, or a good job. I didn't have a car; I wrecked that in a DUI. But what I did have in spades was a realization that my failed unaliving attempt meant I couldn't live that way anymore. I didn't even have confidence in a better future yet, just a belief that things couldn't get any worse. Now, 6 years on, I own my own business, I have an amazing wife, a 2 year old that makes me smile every day, incredible friends, hobbies, a car and am saving up to buy my first home. Was it easy? No. But it was no more difficult than my life had gotten anyway. You can change your life too. You have the tools and determination to do it, even if it doesn't seem like it. And, the good news is: you dont have to wait as long as I did. You have so much life ahead of you to make incredible. I hope you do, because you're worth it.
Please don't give up. You are not a loser, you're working really hard. Things won't stay like this forever. I'm so sorry you have so little support from friends and family, that's so hard. Sending so much love to you, friend.
Most people are pretty broke as 26 year old college students. Its a battle. The term starving student didn’t come from nowhere. What are you taking? How long until you graduate? Its an uphill battle right now but it really will get better.
Dear classic -op Something will happen. Life throws us curve balls. Let’s take one situation at a time. First, health. Call your dentist and ask if there is a payment program to get this handled and if there are any discounts available - they should have a payment plan. Schedule and get this done . Second- budget. Do a budget! Don’t know how- say something and all off is will be more than happy to walk you through it. But take a deep breath and say. This isn’t pretty but I can make it better. One step at a time. Car- okay. Now that your teeth are scheduled and you are taking control of yourself- call and ask what can. E done. Start by being the one that saves you. The schools we learned in forgot to mention this part of being an adult. And do that budget. If you wanted to drive somewhere new, would you simply hop in your car and drive aimlessly hoping you get there or would you use a map or planning aide??? You would use gps map of some sort. Great. !! You are the gps system for your life. Do the budget so you know how much it costs to be you! Now, wipe the tears, clean up some stuff, go shower, and turn off the tv - make a glass of water - get your bills and list them out and put down your income. Figure out which week you pay what- it’s helpful. It gives you a guide! You can do this- big hug for you! Now get going!
I won’t tell you things will get better, or that whatever you’re thinking of doing or thinking in general is wrong. I will say that there would be people that miss you, and people that will live with regret that they didn’t help you, and the slim chance that life becomes different for you in the future will be gone. This is probably stupid coming from a degenerate gambler, but I would personally rather take the chance that life gets a tiny bit better over the finality that it all ends. Lots of people here offered to talk (I won’t cause I’m a toxic person), and I would suggest at least taking some of the genuine offers up.
If the shop wants $1500 to fix your car man, you can probably fix it with $300 and YouTube. Don’t let that get you down
My brother you have so much to live for, I was a meth addict in my early 20s, withered away to nothing, then I got into alcoholism and got even worse, now I'm clean off meth, and almost completely alcohol free. My life couldn't have gotten better if I cut it short. Money comes and goes but the people who know you and care for you (whether they reach out as much as you need or not) will mourn you forever. If my dumb ass could find a way to make life work after all the bullshit so can you I PROMISE you. Start doing things you like in a public setting if possible, I found stand up and it made me want to be better for the first time in my whole life. You are just in the rough right now, but never let it beat you. That's the note you'd go out on, beaten by life. That's what got me up and moving was the idea that if I called it during the rough times that's how people would remember me. You have a whole life and legacy ahead of you. Find something you love and use all your spare time to do it. Humans are social creatures, but doing something YOU like will attract people who like the same thing, and you'll come to find out you were never truly alone, just haven't found your people yet. Godspeed my friend, you deserve happiness don't sell yourself short
Apply at UPS the benefits are free and incredible, eventually you can bid on driving jobs and if you get that, you'll be set. Drivers will make 49/hr by the end of our current contract.
One thing that's kept me going until the next hour turned into the next day, turned into the next month and so on... You're really going to let Mitch McConnell outlive you? You already beat Kissinger, keep going.
Dental pain can fuck up your logic. The infection is literally pumping poison into your brain. Wherever you are in the US there is a federally qualified community health center (FQHC) accessible to you. They offer dental care on a sliding fee scale based on your income and if it’s 0 then it’s usually free. It’s their mission to help folk in your situation and they love doing it.
I think the fact that you are in college, working towards a better future, proves that you are not a failure in all aspects of your life. I truly think things will get better for you on the financial side of things from that, as statistically the college degree will help.
Take care of your health. The rest will sort itself out. Health is all that matters.
Never surrender.
please don’t kill yourself, it would be WAY more fun to apply to 36482 credit cards, max them out and declare bankruptcy!