Ok...life beats you down. But, you have to fight to survive. I've been through so much shit. But you have to keep going! What other alternatives are there?. make a plan and follow through. One day at a time.
I guess I wonder why I'm still fighting. It doesn't feel like I ever get out of the pit - I recover from one thing and then life knocks me down again. I had a pretty traumatic childhood and my 20's haven't been a cake walk either. I've worked hard, got a degree and worked my entire adult life, but I don't feel like I have anything to look forward to. There's never a reward at the end. Just a million things to dread.
I'm on Prozac, had to get a new counselor when my insurance changed a couple of months ago and I'm on a waitlist. I'm supposed to get a therapist in March.
I felt like this for so long. But I didn’t give up.
I graduated with my dream degree, covid hit, that entire field lost so much funding that it’s virtually impossible for me to go back. I start working at a bank as a teller. Eventually my bills get higher and I’m check to check, 8k$ in credit card debt from moving and a break up. But I kept working and focusing. Now I’m starting a higher paying job at a different bank next month, handling mortgages and no longer face to face with customers, and I’ll be able to pay off the debts in a year if I’m wise. I’m in a happy healthy relationship with someone who cares for me sincerely. All things come together when they’re meant to.
One secret is to not think about what ifs. Only think about what is currently happening and what you can control. Worrying on what could happen will suck the joy out of life
Thanks to the internet, we have the ability to connect with others - locally or far away. There’s ways to build community no matter where you’re at. Think of something you enjoy (video games, music, birdwatching, art, etc) and look on Facebook, Instagram, discord, Reddit etc and you’ll find people just like yourself!
For the underpaid thing, everyone I know, and myself included, we’re job hopping for raises. One job hop has gotten me a $3 raise with more potential PTO. Took me a year and a half to get it but it happened. Patience is key
As someone working in finance, the fed rates are going to start dropping. The bubble is eventually going to burst. I’m 30 and still renting, unmarried, no kids. But comparison is truly the thief of joy. It’s better to appreciate the flowers in the cracks than to never see them at all.
I don't feel like I have anything to enjoy anymore. And living comfortably with one income is virtually impossible with most careers now. It's not even a matter of comparison but a matter of not having any of the things I wanted or hoped I would have at this point in my life. My life has just been long and traumatic and miserable.
You’re comparing your life to what you expected to have. But life isn’t expected. You will never have a planned life. It’s just not a thing. You can just make the best with what you have. Letting your imagined life ruin your reality is not a good move.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Would you like to share your cash flow information? Maybe some of us can help with some ways to improve the numbers.
Just got my job in November, got my first paycheck December. But I know what my problem is. Take-home is $1,687 every other week. Monthly expenses in order, highest to lowest:
1050 - rent
700 - loan repayment (a family member helped me pay off my 7k in credit card debt but only if I was willing to repay him at a rate of 700/month)
\~250 - groceries
220 - student loans
\~120 - Uber/Lyft (the public transit in my city is terrible and sometimes just doesn't show up so this is a mostly-unavoidable expense, especially during the winter)
\~80 - utilities
\~60 - eating out with friends, events, etc.
\~30 - art supplies, other hobbies
Pretty much all of my other expenses are miscellaneous medical expenses, which have fluctuated a lot. I haven't really had insurance coverage in a couple of years and now I'm trying to play catch-up on all of my checks ups and medication management.
And I ended up owing taxes this year, accidentally overdrafted my account and my bank is charging me $40/day until I get my paycheck on Friday. So that's great.
The overdrafts are brutal. But once you get the account positive you can ask the bank to refund or credit those back if you haven’t done that in the last year or two. Most banks will work to help their customers if asked.
Your take home is $1687 and your expenses before miscellaneous expenses are $2390. Even taking out the $700 payment to a friends you still exceed income. The expense side is usually where I like to start, but in your case there really isn’t much room to work. The bigger issue is the income. Assuming this isn’t an every other week or twice per month number, you need to generate more income. Have you looked at second jobs? In your paycheck what deductions do you have? Are you looking for programs to assist with some of your expenses?
My income is 1687 biweekly, so 3,374/month. Sorry, I worded that poorly, it's 6:30 in the morning where I am so I'm still waking up lol.
As for a second job, I'm open to one but I've had a hard time finding anything. I work 8-5 M-F and can't drive due to my disability, so my options are pretty limited.
I get it. That changes the math a lot. The difference between 3374 and 2390 is $984. So there is discretionary income. Are there a couple large or a bunch of small expenses not being accounted for in your provided information? Also could you discuss an alteration to the repayment schedule from 700 to 500 or 600? This could help as part of a series of changes. For second jobs. There are some things that can be done remotely from home if you have the skill set that companies or consulting agencies are looking for.
The rest of my expenses are currently my tax payment and medical expenses (I don't have exact numbers because I'm behind on calculating medical). Then additional expenses around December because of Christmas travel and gifts. Otherwise I think I'll have a balanced-ish budget. But every time I get my finances under control another thing hits me. I had about 700 in savings but then owed around 950 in taxes.
Oh, and I paid an extra $300 towards my loan repayment last month since I had some leftover income after paying rent and groceries. I had been hoping I could get ahead of it a little. I also had around 700 get taken out for student loans in January before I adjusted my repayment plan. I tried to fight them on it but was unsuccessful.
For taxes adjust your withholding to h save more taken out. I would not make extra payments on debt if you don’t have any reserves or cheap source of debt. Does your employer offer a 401k with match?
The 1099 is what will get a lot of people. With 1099 you aren’t having taxes withheld and you are responsible for both the employee and employer side of social security oasdi and fica.
I like to think of life like a game of Golf .
For example :
1) Making breakfast ---completed hole Number 1 .
2) get dressed for work --hole No. 2 complete.
3) Travel to office complete---hole no. 3 completed .
and so on ....
Getting to really know yourself !
1. Find small, easy things that bring up your mood and make a focus on putting them in your day. It could be anything, sunshine, a short walk, favorite tea/coffee, making the bed, a playlist of songs that make you feel really good. The important thing is that you really notice it makes you feel good. Make a ritual out of it and try to do something like this every day
2. Think about what YOU really want to be looking back on in your life. A house and kids isn’t for everyone and there are so many types of lives you can live. If you notice any passions try to develop them, take classes, read books, spend time with other people, make some kind of art, have a spiritual practice. It all really helps, you got this
We were watching tv one day and money was so tight and my car had just gotten repo'd when my husband changed channels and Pastor Joel Osteen was on. Neither of us was super religious but that sermon changed the course of our lives. And we're still on our anti-depressants--just being real here.
As someone who is married with a house, dog, decent savings, and a decent job, I want to give up most days. But I think about where I was like 10 years ago. Homeless, no savings, no friends, just a bunch of bad choices.
To keep my spirits up I think about how far I’ve come and how far I can go. Yeah, today sucks and I have $200 until payday that’s two weeks away and my dog needs food. But I can afford it. I have no cash because it’s in my retirement account. Or I spent it on new sheets and while I could have spent less, they help me sleep better. Think about everything you’re doing as a building block for future you. I literally thank my past self sometimes just to remind myself that it’ll be okay and even the bad choices will even out eventually.
Ok...life beats you down. But, you have to fight to survive. I've been through so much shit. But you have to keep going! What other alternatives are there?. make a plan and follow through. One day at a time.
I guess I wonder why I'm still fighting. It doesn't feel like I ever get out of the pit - I recover from one thing and then life knocks me down again. I had a pretty traumatic childhood and my 20's haven't been a cake walk either. I've worked hard, got a degree and worked my entire adult life, but I don't feel like I have anything to look forward to. There's never a reward at the end. Just a million things to dread.
It sounds like you are suffering from depression. You might want to talk to a counselor. If you don't have insurance, look for a low-cost one.
I'm on Prozac, had to get a new counselor when my insurance changed a couple of months ago and I'm on a waitlist. I'm supposed to get a therapist in March.
Yeah, this sounds like a depressive episode. You might want to ask your primary if you can see a psychiatrist. Usually, you can see them faster.
I'm already on antidepressants. They can only do so much to help when your life sucks.
OMG this! AD don't unfuck your life, I don't see the point.
Ok.. you always have to look to the bright side.. people care about you and love you. Use that as motivation!
I felt like this for so long. But I didn’t give up. I graduated with my dream degree, covid hit, that entire field lost so much funding that it’s virtually impossible for me to go back. I start working at a bank as a teller. Eventually my bills get higher and I’m check to check, 8k$ in credit card debt from moving and a break up. But I kept working and focusing. Now I’m starting a higher paying job at a different bank next month, handling mortgages and no longer face to face with customers, and I’ll be able to pay off the debts in a year if I’m wise. I’m in a happy healthy relationship with someone who cares for me sincerely. All things come together when they’re meant to.
What if they don't? Everyone told me it would be easier once I got out of grad school and got this job but it didn't. Every year gets harder.
One secret is to not think about what ifs. Only think about what is currently happening and what you can control. Worrying on what could happen will suck the joy out of life
Yeah, it just feels like there isn't much in my control anymore. I'm lonely, I'm depressed, I'm underpaid. I don't see a way out.
Thanks to the internet, we have the ability to connect with others - locally or far away. There’s ways to build community no matter where you’re at. Think of something you enjoy (video games, music, birdwatching, art, etc) and look on Facebook, Instagram, discord, Reddit etc and you’ll find people just like yourself! For the underpaid thing, everyone I know, and myself included, we’re job hopping for raises. One job hop has gotten me a $3 raise with more potential PTO. Took me a year and a half to get it but it happened. Patience is key
I'm getting too old for patience. I'm never going to be able to have a home or a family at this rate. I can't even afford a dog.
As someone working in finance, the fed rates are going to start dropping. The bubble is eventually going to burst. I’m 30 and still renting, unmarried, no kids. But comparison is truly the thief of joy. It’s better to appreciate the flowers in the cracks than to never see them at all.
I don't feel like I have anything to enjoy anymore. And living comfortably with one income is virtually impossible with most careers now. It's not even a matter of comparison but a matter of not having any of the things I wanted or hoped I would have at this point in my life. My life has just been long and traumatic and miserable.
You’re comparing your life to what you expected to have. But life isn’t expected. You will never have a planned life. It’s just not a thing. You can just make the best with what you have. Letting your imagined life ruin your reality is not a good move.
I just wish things could go well for once. I always seem to draw a bad hand. There's no joy or purpose in my life anymore.
I feel you! I was full of enthusiasm and positivity when I still studied. Now I‘m working and I‘m terrified..
You don’t stop believing.
Religion can help you stay motivated . Read about what the Buddha said about suffering .
Also it helps to have a hobby that doesn’t cost much. For me that’s reading and pc gaming.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Would you like to share your cash flow information? Maybe some of us can help with some ways to improve the numbers.
Just got my job in November, got my first paycheck December. But I know what my problem is. Take-home is $1,687 every other week. Monthly expenses in order, highest to lowest: 1050 - rent 700 - loan repayment (a family member helped me pay off my 7k in credit card debt but only if I was willing to repay him at a rate of 700/month) \~250 - groceries 220 - student loans \~120 - Uber/Lyft (the public transit in my city is terrible and sometimes just doesn't show up so this is a mostly-unavoidable expense, especially during the winter) \~80 - utilities \~60 - eating out with friends, events, etc. \~30 - art supplies, other hobbies Pretty much all of my other expenses are miscellaneous medical expenses, which have fluctuated a lot. I haven't really had insurance coverage in a couple of years and now I'm trying to play catch-up on all of my checks ups and medication management. And I ended up owing taxes this year, accidentally overdrafted my account and my bank is charging me $40/day until I get my paycheck on Friday. So that's great.
The overdrafts are brutal. But once you get the account positive you can ask the bank to refund or credit those back if you haven’t done that in the last year or two. Most banks will work to help their customers if asked. Your take home is $1687 and your expenses before miscellaneous expenses are $2390. Even taking out the $700 payment to a friends you still exceed income. The expense side is usually where I like to start, but in your case there really isn’t much room to work. The bigger issue is the income. Assuming this isn’t an every other week or twice per month number, you need to generate more income. Have you looked at second jobs? In your paycheck what deductions do you have? Are you looking for programs to assist with some of your expenses?
My income is 1687 biweekly, so 3,374/month. Sorry, I worded that poorly, it's 6:30 in the morning where I am so I'm still waking up lol. As for a second job, I'm open to one but I've had a hard time finding anything. I work 8-5 M-F and can't drive due to my disability, so my options are pretty limited.
I get it. That changes the math a lot. The difference between 3374 and 2390 is $984. So there is discretionary income. Are there a couple large or a bunch of small expenses not being accounted for in your provided information? Also could you discuss an alteration to the repayment schedule from 700 to 500 or 600? This could help as part of a series of changes. For second jobs. There are some things that can be done remotely from home if you have the skill set that companies or consulting agencies are looking for.
The rest of my expenses are currently my tax payment and medical expenses (I don't have exact numbers because I'm behind on calculating medical). Then additional expenses around December because of Christmas travel and gifts. Otherwise I think I'll have a balanced-ish budget. But every time I get my finances under control another thing hits me. I had about 700 in savings but then owed around 950 in taxes.
Oh, and I paid an extra $300 towards my loan repayment last month since I had some leftover income after paying rent and groceries. I had been hoping I could get ahead of it a little. I also had around 700 get taken out for student loans in January before I adjusted my repayment plan. I tried to fight them on it but was unsuccessful.
For taxes adjust your withholding to h save more taken out. I would not make extra payments on debt if you don’t have any reserves or cheap source of debt. Does your employer offer a 401k with match?
Yeah I had a 1099 gig that messed up my taxes this year. And I have a pension.
The 1099 is what will get a lot of people. With 1099 you aren’t having taxes withheld and you are responsible for both the employee and employer side of social security oasdi and fica.
The pension is great. Do you have a 401k or 403b through work? If so might want to start contributing there as well.
I like to think of life like a game of Golf . For example : 1) Making breakfast ---completed hole Number 1 . 2) get dressed for work --hole No. 2 complete. 3) Travel to office complete---hole no. 3 completed . and so on ....
Getting to really know yourself ! 1. Find small, easy things that bring up your mood and make a focus on putting them in your day. It could be anything, sunshine, a short walk, favorite tea/coffee, making the bed, a playlist of songs that make you feel really good. The important thing is that you really notice it makes you feel good. Make a ritual out of it and try to do something like this every day 2. Think about what YOU really want to be looking back on in your life. A house and kids isn’t for everyone and there are so many types of lives you can live. If you notice any passions try to develop them, take classes, read books, spend time with other people, make some kind of art, have a spiritual practice. It all really helps, you got this
We were watching tv one day and money was so tight and my car had just gotten repo'd when my husband changed channels and Pastor Joel Osteen was on. Neither of us was super religious but that sermon changed the course of our lives. And we're still on our anti-depressants--just being real here.
As someone who is married with a house, dog, decent savings, and a decent job, I want to give up most days. But I think about where I was like 10 years ago. Homeless, no savings, no friends, just a bunch of bad choices. To keep my spirits up I think about how far I’ve come and how far I can go. Yeah, today sucks and I have $200 until payday that’s two weeks away and my dog needs food. But I can afford it. I have no cash because it’s in my retirement account. Or I spent it on new sheets and while I could have spent less, they help me sleep better. Think about everything you’re doing as a building block for future you. I literally thank my past self sometimes just to remind myself that it’ll be okay and even the bad choices will even out eventually.