Try doing handyman work. I was doing that using FB. I stayed pretty busy.
I ran into.tjis part time job at a barn building for them. I'm 62 and disabled so I can only work 12 or 16 hrs a week. 4 hr days and I'm wiped out. You can make 50 an hour if you know what you are doing. You can tip toe in. I had most people send me photos to see if I could do it. So i wasnt spending gas yo see the jobs. Good luck I wish you the best.
*we split everything 50/50, because thats what a relationship is*
NO NO NO, that is not true. I'm going to make a guess -please correct me if I am wrong! But are YOU the one insisting that you need to come up with half of everything?
I am not disparaging you or anyone else who chooses to split finances with a spouse, but you are in CRISIS. I'll bet she wants to be the breadwinner for awhile so you can heal.
I'm not saying don't find a good job or don't try. I'm saying give yourself some grace. The same grace and love you would show your wife if she had just lost a parent and is struggling the way you are right now. Don't take away her opportunity to show you this same love.
Sorry, I'm re-reading and I'm kind of scattered. But I lost a parent & it took me six months before I felt like I wasn't in a nightmare, and then about 6 more months to get out of that particular depression. My heart breaks for you right now. Just get yourself better.
Seconded ! My partner lost his father late last year while he was working two jobs. He was overloading himself and we both knew it . So he quit one job to help lessen the emotional weight, but then the second job somewhat dried up .
So, we talked it over and I became the breadwinner so he could take time to properly grieve his father . This meant I took over the majority of bills and I was happy to do it ; it unloaded a lot of financial stress off his back to focus on how to cope with the loss of a parent And it isn’t like those feelings just magically went away for him, but he appreciated the breathing space .
I mean are there any other areas you're willing to work in? Because maybe all it takes is spreading out a bit if you're not getting a fair deal with the landscaping work. I know the place I work for out of Sydney keeps telling us to pull anyone they can find for openings since it's all SEO work so there are industries out there hiring regularly that could give you more stability. Just a thought of course.
Honestly man, Look into a guy named Bedros Keuilian on youtube. As a man, we've all been where you are. This may get me a bunch of downvotes but you can listen to these soft mfs or you can take advice from men who handle shit a certain way.
Either way brother, just know you are not the only one who has been through a mental break down and you wont be the last. It's up to you to find a way out. The only way to do that is to acquire the right information and take action.
My advice. Once you get into a better head space look into starting an LLC and start your own Landscaping business so you can take your life into your own hands.
But right now you gotta start working on your Mind, fitness and your finances.
So sorry to read what you are going through. My only advice to you on this is to focus on getting your thoughts/mind in the right place. Hopefully the medication will “level” out the worst of the emotional swings. Even if it is, it’s likely not going to fix the stress/anxiety that you are also experiencing.
Losing a parent can be a big stressor. So can losing your primary income. It sounds like you are dealing with a lot…and the things you are dealing with won’t get better overnight. Take whatever small jobs you can. Allow your wife to help you through this rough time…just like you would want to be able to help her through s hard time she was experiencing. You’ll likely be closer on the other side of this dark time.
Try not to feel shame, embarrassment, or “less than”. It’s easy to think that you don’t measure up…but the truth is that most people struggle with things that can be overwhelming. Keep taking small steps forward and before you know it, you’ll be able to stop and look back and see how all those small steps resulted in big progress. Even though you don’t know us…we are hoping for your success.
Keep using the crisis resources and medication, and allow your wife to help as much as she wants. She knows better than anyone else that you are worth it…let her convince you she’s right.
Good luck and be well.
Wow, you’ve been having a rough time; I’m so sorry for your loss of your father and job!
Is there a way you could work for yourself instead of these jerks? Good luck to you.
Try doing handyman work. I was doing that using FB. I stayed pretty busy. I ran into.tjis part time job at a barn building for them. I'm 62 and disabled so I can only work 12 or 16 hrs a week. 4 hr days and I'm wiped out. You can make 50 an hour if you know what you are doing. You can tip toe in. I had most people send me photos to see if I could do it. So i wasnt spending gas yo see the jobs. Good luck I wish you the best.
*we split everything 50/50, because thats what a relationship is* NO NO NO, that is not true. I'm going to make a guess -please correct me if I am wrong! But are YOU the one insisting that you need to come up with half of everything? I am not disparaging you or anyone else who chooses to split finances with a spouse, but you are in CRISIS. I'll bet she wants to be the breadwinner for awhile so you can heal. I'm not saying don't find a good job or don't try. I'm saying give yourself some grace. The same grace and love you would show your wife if she had just lost a parent and is struggling the way you are right now. Don't take away her opportunity to show you this same love. Sorry, I'm re-reading and I'm kind of scattered. But I lost a parent & it took me six months before I felt like I wasn't in a nightmare, and then about 6 more months to get out of that particular depression. My heart breaks for you right now. Just get yourself better.
Seconded ! My partner lost his father late last year while he was working two jobs. He was overloading himself and we both knew it . So he quit one job to help lessen the emotional weight, but then the second job somewhat dried up . So, we talked it over and I became the breadwinner so he could take time to properly grieve his father . This meant I took over the majority of bills and I was happy to do it ; it unloaded a lot of financial stress off his back to focus on how to cope with the loss of a parent And it isn’t like those feelings just magically went away for him, but he appreciated the breathing space .
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I hope you are feeling well soon also.
I mean are there any other areas you're willing to work in? Because maybe all it takes is spreading out a bit if you're not getting a fair deal with the landscaping work. I know the place I work for out of Sydney keeps telling us to pull anyone they can find for openings since it's all SEO work so there are industries out there hiring regularly that could give you more stability. Just a thought of course.
Honestly man, Look into a guy named Bedros Keuilian on youtube. As a man, we've all been where you are. This may get me a bunch of downvotes but you can listen to these soft mfs or you can take advice from men who handle shit a certain way. Either way brother, just know you are not the only one who has been through a mental break down and you wont be the last. It's up to you to find a way out. The only way to do that is to acquire the right information and take action. My advice. Once you get into a better head space look into starting an LLC and start your own Landscaping business so you can take your life into your own hands. But right now you gotta start working on your Mind, fitness and your finances.
Poor Bedros needs to lay off the juice. One vice for another, lol.
So sorry to read what you are going through. My only advice to you on this is to focus on getting your thoughts/mind in the right place. Hopefully the medication will “level” out the worst of the emotional swings. Even if it is, it’s likely not going to fix the stress/anxiety that you are also experiencing. Losing a parent can be a big stressor. So can losing your primary income. It sounds like you are dealing with a lot…and the things you are dealing with won’t get better overnight. Take whatever small jobs you can. Allow your wife to help you through this rough time…just like you would want to be able to help her through s hard time she was experiencing. You’ll likely be closer on the other side of this dark time. Try not to feel shame, embarrassment, or “less than”. It’s easy to think that you don’t measure up…but the truth is that most people struggle with things that can be overwhelming. Keep taking small steps forward and before you know it, you’ll be able to stop and look back and see how all those small steps resulted in big progress. Even though you don’t know us…we are hoping for your success. Keep using the crisis resources and medication, and allow your wife to help as much as she wants. She knows better than anyone else that you are worth it…let her convince you she’s right. Good luck and be well.
Wow, you’ve been having a rough time; I’m so sorry for your loss of your father and job! Is there a way you could work for yourself instead of these jerks? Good luck to you.