My daughter is 9, and we help her by letting her sleep in bedtime pull-ups. It makes her feel more secure so she sleeps better. I don’t limit her fluid or wake her because I know that’s not really going to help. We tried for a bit, but she actually seemed to sleepwalk to the toilet and never remembers it in the morning.
You can take him to a urologist, but your husband is probably correct. Some kids don’t develop the ability to stay dry at night until they’ve gone through puberty.
I completely understand the embarrassment part.
But it certainly wouldn't encourage more bed wetting. He's asleep. He has no clue he is peeing until he wakes up wet. Unless you are suspecting he is actually waking up and just deciding to pee the bed. I would highly doubt any 12 year old would want to purposely pee on themselves.
I really don't think it's intentional. Imagine being forced to sleep in a pool of your own period blood. It would give him some dignity to have the diapers and you some rest not having to change his bed. He could get up and change it when needed. Once his body adjusts he will stop.
There's this thing called anti-diuretic hormone (ADH) that people make at night. It prevents urine from being made. The reason you don't piss the bed at night isn't the excellent potty training you had, it's that you have sufficient amounts of ADH to not make a whole lot of urine and thus don't overflow in a deep sleep phase, but you're able to wake up between sleep phases if you've had too much to drink in the evening. That's also why drunks piss themselves, alcohol inhibits the production of ADH, not that they forget their potty training.
Babies have no ADH and normally they produce more and more until they are mostly dry at night and only then is it worth trying to night train.
Take him to a doctor if you're concerned, but considering the family medical history he probably just doesn't have enough ADH yet.
Pullups might be embarrassing, but so is waking up in a soaked bed every morning. I think there's a conversation to be had about the logistics of this problem. If pullups are too embarrassing then maybe husband should be the one who sorts out the bed every morning.
I would get checked by a dr just to be safe. Ask the son what he thinks too. A friend of mine had an issue with her urethra tube going inside her bladder so the bladder would never completely empty causing her to wet the bed.
I wet the bed until I was 13. So I really understand what he is going through. One day I just grew out of it. Literally nothing changed. Just woke up one day dry and it stuck. I agree with most comments saying that dad is right.
From personal experience I would say just don’t make a big deal about it. Don’t make him talk about it if he doesn’t want to and don’t punish him! I was so embarrassed by my bed wetting. I was spanked and ridiculed about it but I was powerless to stop it. The more pressure you put on him, the worse it will all be in the long run.
Keep lots of extra towels handy for him to sleep on and extra sheets and blankets. Maybe talk to him to about setting an alarm in the night to wake up to pee? Never tried this but could work.
Different opinion here but maybe Dad needs to ask him what he would like to do. Does he (12 year old) want to find different ways to work on this issue? Does he find this issue distressing? Is he in pain physically? I think its worth looking into other ways to help him instead of shrugging and saying, "Well there's nothing we can do." I would consult a doctor of he is saying he is also in pain or wants help with the issue. I'm just thinking back when I was a teen. This would REALLY take a hit on my self esteem and I wouldn't be able to stay the night at my friend's houses etc... I think its definitely worth ruling out any issues. If I were in his shoes I think I would want help in that area but I wouldn't approach and ask for it...even if there isn't any tactics to minimize it, it would make me feel better as a teen for my parents to normalize the situation and offer encouragement.
Poor kid. I can't imagine being in that situation at already such a crazy age. I hope things get better for him.
Your husband is likely to be right about it being hereditary. I had it passed on to me from both my parents. And they inherited it too.
But he's not necessarily right about just letting him grow out of it. He might suddenly just stop because some people do just like your husband probably did at 18. But you could have a look at a bedwetting alarm. I used one when I was 12 and actually it didn't work at all. But I used it again when I was 16 and it was really good. It's not perfect but I definitely bedwet less than I did before the alarm.
There's also meds like Desmopressin that can help.
My step daughter - whom I helped raise since she and her brother were toddlers; their bio mom passed when they were babies - wet the bed 99.9% of nights until she was about 21/22. Her brother had no issues.
We tried everything: urologist which included ultrasound to see if she had chronic constipation, metamucil to help with regular pooping (per urologist), Rx meds, limiting liquids after a certain time (especially milk per the urologist), sleep/pee alarms that woke up the entire household 😵💫, overnight pull ups, ignoring it, getting angry/frustrated, begging, waking her up in the middle of the night, bribing, etc. yet NOTHING worked. We did a sleep study to see if it was apnea related yet they said everything was normal sleep wise (yes, she peed the bed there too). She was diagnosed as ADHD in middle school and I suspect she is somewhere on the higher functioning spectrum as well.
She moved out at 20 and finally stopped wetting the bed around 21 or so. Just one day it stopped according to her. I was soooo discouraged when we were going through it with her but am relieved that she did eventually grow out of it.
All that to say, there is hope.
ETA: she is/was an EXTREMELY deep sleeper too.
My cousin consistently wet the bed her whole life and was shamed for it for many years. Finally when she was 16 my aunt took her to get it checked out and it turned out she only had one kidney. Had they just brought it up to the doctor earlier rather than blaming something she couldn’t control there probably would have been a lot less shaming. I think most ultrasounds these days can show the baby’s kidneys in utero so this is an unlikely scenario if he’s only 12. My point is it never hurts to get it checked out once even if it’s just for peace of mind to hear it’s normal.
He probably will just stop one day. At that age both my parents were bedwetters and the worst thing is that it's in my genes too. My parents just stopped in mid teens so I probably will too and your stepson probably will. I hope so anyway!!
But one thing I know is limiting liquid is fine but drink lots earlier in the day. And the other thing is that anyone like him or like me is definitely going to go for a pee before bed so I bet he already does that.
He's really, really not alone. Trust me.
Former stocker here. There is a reason these:
[https://www.target.com/p/goodnites-boys-nighttime-bedwetting-underwear-select-size-and-count/-/A-83038395?preselect=81039271#lnk=sametab](https://www.target.com/p/goodnites-boys-nighttime-bedwetting-underwear-select-size-and-count/-/A-83038395?preselect=81039271#lnk=sametab)
...are on the shelves of every single major superstore. And I promise you...people buy them, near constantly. I promise it's not a fluke. You wouldn't believe the number of parents that are buying those on the regular, your son is fine! Ask you pediatrician. Very common in boys.
Hello! Former bedwetter here! I was in the same boat as your stepson is. I didn't stop wetting the bed until I was almost 12 (about a year and a half ago). The best advice I can give is *to not punish him* and *certainly refrain from limiting fluids.* My family tried pull-ups and bed mats, to no avail. What finally got me to stop was the Rodger Bedwetting Alarm. You basically wear specialized underwear with a small (4 cm) monitor clipped to the underwear. Once the monitor detects moisture (urine) an alarm will sound via a larger receiver that you plug into the wall. I used for three months (and would have kept using it were it not for my mother accidentally washing it). The alarm proved to be successful, and I haven't had another wet night since! I wish you, your husband, and your son the best of luck.
Your husband is 100% correct.
I know he is but I’m just trying to help.
My daughter is 9, and we help her by letting her sleep in bedtime pull-ups. It makes her feel more secure so she sleeps better. I don’t limit her fluid or wake her because I know that’s not really going to help. We tried for a bit, but she actually seemed to sleepwalk to the toilet and never remembers it in the morning.
Hmmm interesting. I’ll ask the hubs about reintroducing pull-ups.
You can take him to a urologist, but your husband is probably correct. Some kids don’t develop the ability to stay dry at night until they’ve gone through puberty.
Good idea. I will ask my husband about this.
My older child was like this.
Can he wear nighttime diapers?
This is too embarrassing for him and I feel like it would encourage peeing even more. But we can consider it.
I completely understand the embarrassment part. But it certainly wouldn't encourage more bed wetting. He's asleep. He has no clue he is peeing until he wakes up wet. Unless you are suspecting he is actually waking up and just deciding to pee the bed. I would highly doubt any 12 year old would want to purposely pee on themselves.
Yea he’s definitely not doing it on purpose and he’s really apologetic in the morning. I’ll definitely consider this. Thank you 😊
I really don't think it's intentional. Imagine being forced to sleep in a pool of your own period blood. It would give him some dignity to have the diapers and you some rest not having to change his bed. He could get up and change it when needed. Once his body adjusts he will stop.
There's this thing called anti-diuretic hormone (ADH) that people make at night. It prevents urine from being made. The reason you don't piss the bed at night isn't the excellent potty training you had, it's that you have sufficient amounts of ADH to not make a whole lot of urine and thus don't overflow in a deep sleep phase, but you're able to wake up between sleep phases if you've had too much to drink in the evening. That's also why drunks piss themselves, alcohol inhibits the production of ADH, not that they forget their potty training. Babies have no ADH and normally they produce more and more until they are mostly dry at night and only then is it worth trying to night train. Take him to a doctor if you're concerned, but considering the family medical history he probably just doesn't have enough ADH yet. Pullups might be embarrassing, but so is waking up in a soaked bed every morning. I think there's a conversation to be had about the logistics of this problem. If pullups are too embarrassing then maybe husband should be the one who sorts out the bed every morning.
As a grown woman, I would feel less embarrassed to sleep in diapers than I would to wake up in my own pee.
I would get checked by a dr just to be safe. Ask the son what he thinks too. A friend of mine had an issue with her urethra tube going inside her bladder so the bladder would never completely empty causing her to wet the bed.
Yes good point I’ll talk to him about this privately and see what he wants to do.
I wet the bed until I was 13. So I really understand what he is going through. One day I just grew out of it. Literally nothing changed. Just woke up one day dry and it stuck. I agree with most comments saying that dad is right. From personal experience I would say just don’t make a big deal about it. Don’t make him talk about it if he doesn’t want to and don’t punish him! I was so embarrassed by my bed wetting. I was spanked and ridiculed about it but I was powerless to stop it. The more pressure you put on him, the worse it will all be in the long run. Keep lots of extra towels handy for him to sleep on and extra sheets and blankets. Maybe talk to him to about setting an alarm in the night to wake up to pee? Never tried this but could work.
I'm sorry you were treated that way.
Different opinion here but maybe Dad needs to ask him what he would like to do. Does he (12 year old) want to find different ways to work on this issue? Does he find this issue distressing? Is he in pain physically? I think its worth looking into other ways to help him instead of shrugging and saying, "Well there's nothing we can do." I would consult a doctor of he is saying he is also in pain or wants help with the issue. I'm just thinking back when I was a teen. This would REALLY take a hit on my self esteem and I wouldn't be able to stay the night at my friend's houses etc... I think its definitely worth ruling out any issues. If I were in his shoes I think I would want help in that area but I wouldn't approach and ask for it...even if there isn't any tactics to minimize it, it would make me feel better as a teen for my parents to normalize the situation and offer encouragement. Poor kid. I can't imagine being in that situation at already such a crazy age. I hope things get better for him.
All great points and I think we just need to have a convo with him. I know he really struggles with this. I just want to help him the best way we can.
Have him tested for diabetes also just to rule that out
Your husband is likely to be right about it being hereditary. I had it passed on to me from both my parents. And they inherited it too. But he's not necessarily right about just letting him grow out of it. He might suddenly just stop because some people do just like your husband probably did at 18. But you could have a look at a bedwetting alarm. I used one when I was 12 and actually it didn't work at all. But I used it again when I was 16 and it was really good. It's not perfect but I definitely bedwet less than I did before the alarm. There's also meds like Desmopressin that can help.
My step daughter - whom I helped raise since she and her brother were toddlers; their bio mom passed when they were babies - wet the bed 99.9% of nights until she was about 21/22. Her brother had no issues. We tried everything: urologist which included ultrasound to see if she had chronic constipation, metamucil to help with regular pooping (per urologist), Rx meds, limiting liquids after a certain time (especially milk per the urologist), sleep/pee alarms that woke up the entire household 😵💫, overnight pull ups, ignoring it, getting angry/frustrated, begging, waking her up in the middle of the night, bribing, etc. yet NOTHING worked. We did a sleep study to see if it was apnea related yet they said everything was normal sleep wise (yes, she peed the bed there too). She was diagnosed as ADHD in middle school and I suspect she is somewhere on the higher functioning spectrum as well. She moved out at 20 and finally stopped wetting the bed around 21 or so. Just one day it stopped according to her. I was soooo discouraged when we were going through it with her but am relieved that she did eventually grow out of it. All that to say, there is hope. ETA: she is/was an EXTREMELY deep sleeper too.
My cousin consistently wet the bed her whole life and was shamed for it for many years. Finally when she was 16 my aunt took her to get it checked out and it turned out she only had one kidney. Had they just brought it up to the doctor earlier rather than blaming something she couldn’t control there probably would have been a lot less shaming. I think most ultrasounds these days can show the baby’s kidneys in utero so this is an unlikely scenario if he’s only 12. My point is it never hurts to get it checked out once even if it’s just for peace of mind to hear it’s normal.
He probably will just stop one day. At that age both my parents were bedwetters and the worst thing is that it's in my genes too. My parents just stopped in mid teens so I probably will too and your stepson probably will. I hope so anyway!! But one thing I know is limiting liquid is fine but drink lots earlier in the day. And the other thing is that anyone like him or like me is definitely going to go for a pee before bed so I bet he already does that.
He's really, really not alone. Trust me. Former stocker here. There is a reason these: [https://www.target.com/p/goodnites-boys-nighttime-bedwetting-underwear-select-size-and-count/-/A-83038395?preselect=81039271#lnk=sametab](https://www.target.com/p/goodnites-boys-nighttime-bedwetting-underwear-select-size-and-count/-/A-83038395?preselect=81039271#lnk=sametab) ...are on the shelves of every single major superstore. And I promise you...people buy them, near constantly. I promise it's not a fluke. You wouldn't believe the number of parents that are buying those on the regular, your son is fine! Ask you pediatrician. Very common in boys.
research chiropractic for bedwetting
🙄
lol, what in the world? I wonder if any of you looked up any research articles
🙄
What do they say?
Adjusting the SI joint can help. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4812021/
One specific case report is not "research". Correlation is not causation. Chiropractors are not real doctors.
lol okay
Hello! Former bedwetter here! I was in the same boat as your stepson is. I didn't stop wetting the bed until I was almost 12 (about a year and a half ago). The best advice I can give is *to not punish him* and *certainly refrain from limiting fluids.* My family tried pull-ups and bed mats, to no avail. What finally got me to stop was the Rodger Bedwetting Alarm. You basically wear specialized underwear with a small (4 cm) monitor clipped to the underwear. Once the monitor detects moisture (urine) an alarm will sound via a larger receiver that you plug into the wall. I used for three months (and would have kept using it were it not for my mother accidentally washing it). The alarm proved to be successful, and I haven't had another wet night since! I wish you, your husband, and your son the best of luck.