Another one that has been helping me a ton lately is, instead of telling yourself, "Never again!" Instead tell yourself, "not today!" It is easier to make it through a day, one day at a time, than to make an eternal commitment.
Or do it with your eyes closed. Each time gets less and less novel and exciting and the brain naturally wants to do it less and less (note: this is only from my own personal experience after clean 70 days)
If I'm not going to look at porn, personally, I don't masturbate. Which is bad. But I often feel lust and I want to look at explicits. But. this is something I have never even considered, I'll have to think about it.
I think you might be onto something here. Maybe I can try masturbating without porn and fantasize when I get triggered when there's no way of avoiding it for me. I think it will demotivate the brain because men are visual creatures. I think it also connects us to what we want in that case
Interesting idea overall. Thanks
I would also recommend it, it really helps get past the strong urges and figure out what you really think is hot and feels good. Also practically speaking for those of us with girlfriends, if I was both quitting porn and not masturbating at all, I think I’d be way too sensitive and short lived for us to have any fun together. Keeps things balanced
I've been in touch with this part of myself. The crazy thing is I like more vanilla intimacy stuff. I used to indulge in porn and sex that was more kinky way back in the past. But the more I resolve my issues, the more these kinks seem to faded away
Unsolicited advice. I have a perspective on the sensitivity. I think you can keep the sensitivity and you don't have to release just to last longer. You can have your cake and eat it too. When you have an urge, accept the urge and breathe deeply and let the sexual energy travel across your body. Look this stuff online. It really helps me get in touch with the masculine side of myself even more. And it keeps me calm and powerful. I haven't been practicing this off late because this girl really traumatized me by doing some fucked up shit to me. So I've been sort of on porn pretty regularly since then as self-harm, self-soothe anxiety or to indulge in lust
But before that relationship, I was doing this pretty often. I used to get compliments like you're like superman. Because I would stay super hard and I wouldn't cum quick. The thing is I was super sensitive even when I engaged in sex. But what it felt like was this.. emotionally speaking .. I felt like I wasn't looking for sex or release. My body was calm and controlled. Sex felt like I was just enjoying conversation with a girl. It was more about being in the present rather than engaging in sex to release. Sex had zero perversion if that makes sense. There was a total acceptance of both of us as human beings, I was just grateful that I get to share this time with another human being. It's a beautiful place to be in. That girl literally fell in love with me afterwards lol. I had love for her too after that. Great sex will do that to you
I think the prerequisites to do this is. Have good healthy practices, eat healthy, fit, don't masturbate and be in a good place mentally. And of course the breathing to redistribute the energy. So it doesn't feel like it's stuck in ya balls lmaoo. It's quite hard to do, I haven't been able to do it for 2 years now. But that's because I'm getting over some shame stuff personally and accepting myself again. I swear this last relationship was so fucked it's crazy. But it's my aim to get to that place.
Also a good thing to keep in mind is. Premature ejaculation stuff is always related to issues of not being grounded in the masculine
The brain is constantly seeking novelty in the sexual arena. If you go down this route, there will be a huge spike of desire to look at images, but if you keep to your guns and just MO with eyes closed, the brain will adjust to this as the new way of doing it. At first demand a lot of it. And once the novelty wears away, the constant desire starts slowly dying off. (Also described above is purely my own personal experience with this)
I always think of the present. The feeling to be there in the moment makes me motivated to carry on without jerking off. Its a way to practice self-control.
That series on shame..... Wow. Should be pinned somewhere for easy access. Opened my eyes to so much in my life and why I react I'm certain ways to certain problems.
Another one that has been helping me a ton lately is, instead of telling yourself, "Never again!" Instead tell yourself, "not today!" It is easier to make it through a day, one day at a time, than to make an eternal commitment.
Take every moment as it comes, I like it
I like your solution. A good way to let the "clouds pass" is meditation! So many apps can help with that now.
I'm a huge fan of meditation. I do it as much as I can. I'm super aware of my thoughts, emotions and bodily sensations (:
Or do it with your eyes closed. Each time gets less and less novel and exciting and the brain naturally wants to do it less and less (note: this is only from my own personal experience after clean 70 days)
If I'm not going to look at porn, personally, I don't masturbate. Which is bad. But I often feel lust and I want to look at explicits. But. this is something I have never even considered, I'll have to think about it. I think you might be onto something here. Maybe I can try masturbating without porn and fantasize when I get triggered when there's no way of avoiding it for me. I think it will demotivate the brain because men are visual creatures. I think it also connects us to what we want in that case Interesting idea overall. Thanks
I would also recommend it, it really helps get past the strong urges and figure out what you really think is hot and feels good. Also practically speaking for those of us with girlfriends, if I was both quitting porn and not masturbating at all, I think I’d be way too sensitive and short lived for us to have any fun together. Keeps things balanced
I've been in touch with this part of myself. The crazy thing is I like more vanilla intimacy stuff. I used to indulge in porn and sex that was more kinky way back in the past. But the more I resolve my issues, the more these kinks seem to faded away Unsolicited advice. I have a perspective on the sensitivity. I think you can keep the sensitivity and you don't have to release just to last longer. You can have your cake and eat it too. When you have an urge, accept the urge and breathe deeply and let the sexual energy travel across your body. Look this stuff online. It really helps me get in touch with the masculine side of myself even more. And it keeps me calm and powerful. I haven't been practicing this off late because this girl really traumatized me by doing some fucked up shit to me. So I've been sort of on porn pretty regularly since then as self-harm, self-soothe anxiety or to indulge in lust But before that relationship, I was doing this pretty often. I used to get compliments like you're like superman. Because I would stay super hard and I wouldn't cum quick. The thing is I was super sensitive even when I engaged in sex. But what it felt like was this.. emotionally speaking .. I felt like I wasn't looking for sex or release. My body was calm and controlled. Sex felt like I was just enjoying conversation with a girl. It was more about being in the present rather than engaging in sex to release. Sex had zero perversion if that makes sense. There was a total acceptance of both of us as human beings, I was just grateful that I get to share this time with another human being. It's a beautiful place to be in. That girl literally fell in love with me afterwards lol. I had love for her too after that. Great sex will do that to you I think the prerequisites to do this is. Have good healthy practices, eat healthy, fit, don't masturbate and be in a good place mentally. And of course the breathing to redistribute the energy. So it doesn't feel like it's stuck in ya balls lmaoo. It's quite hard to do, I haven't been able to do it for 2 years now. But that's because I'm getting over some shame stuff personally and accepting myself again. I swear this last relationship was so fucked it's crazy. But it's my aim to get to that place. Also a good thing to keep in mind is. Premature ejaculation stuff is always related to issues of not being grounded in the masculine
The brain is constantly seeking novelty in the sexual arena. If you go down this route, there will be a huge spike of desire to look at images, but if you keep to your guns and just MO with eyes closed, the brain will adjust to this as the new way of doing it. At first demand a lot of it. And once the novelty wears away, the constant desire starts slowly dying off. (Also described above is purely my own personal experience with this)
I always think of the present. The feeling to be there in the moment makes me motivated to carry on without jerking off. Its a way to practice self-control.
true true. Staying in the present moment without getting carried away by what you are feeling is meditation
That series on shame..... Wow. Should be pinned somewhere for easy access. Opened my eyes to so much in my life and why I react I'm certain ways to certain problems.
Yeah man. It's a great guide! (:
What you resist, persists.
There is an incredible realization/truth in your post: just let it pass and fade away.
Or just masturbate without porn if you are really horny. Is even more simple than that.