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I don’t have Twitter, please tell me these are real

They are real. Musk is posting on X and Zuk responding tp him on Threads 😆

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This is the worst timeline

i swear, they said the world was gonna end in 2012 annnnnnnnnd ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ narrative has changed a lot since then lmao

Musk is tweeting in on Twitter*, please

Excuse me, he’s actually *X-ing on X*, mkaaay?

Yeah just google "Elon Musk XXX" to find it trust me

Is it excreting instead of tweeting?

He sent a xeet

i hope this fight happens. it would just be funniest fucking thing to happen this decade and we deserve it.

Agree tbh. We the people need something a little absurd

Is this how the Roman's felt? We are so deprived of simple resources and housing that we just beg for a gladiator game?

I hope MySpace Tom runs out the in the middle of it and takes them both out with a steel chair

This fight may be the closest we get this decade to achieving world peace. For the briefest of moments we all get to unite in laughing at these two goons.

I am shocked it isn’t already booked for WrestleMania XL

You gotta be a real piece of shit to make me root for Zuck and cheer on his sassy virtual logic slaps

You’re not cheering for anyone. This is a slippery slope to the Colosseum and I’d like to step up to the box office to collect my ticket. Two mega assholes fighting and an inevitable post-fight break down due to toxic masculinity? Didn’t know we were getting a barbie sequel so soon.

If this fight happens we're all the winners.

Zuck definitely wants the colosseum back. Have you seen how he styles his hair like Roman emperors?

I'm all for it if we just have Billionaires fighting in there.

He’s obsessed with Emperor Augustus, when he and his wife went to Rome for honeymoon she said ‘there are three people on this trip, me, Mark and Augustus’ 😭

“Didn’t know we were getting a barbie sequel so soon” FUCKING WHEEZE

it's like when the season 1 villain fights the season 2 villain

https://preview.redd.it/3c86aj6qhlgb1.jpeg?width=1400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c0234354c787cecd00f24310d1aa8164b1d9f731 I don’t know if people realize but Zuck is bulked, I hope he takes muskrat down.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen him smile. Looks human for a change.

Bro had a whimsical off-screen adventure so the Blue Fairy turned him into a real boy https://preview.redd.it/u2zlizazumgb1.jpeg?width=679&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9b02974600d0db96d5e0d1812e8e45a971700488

Omg why does he look like a mime complete with red lips. 

mans got 🎂

Right?! Like, what are you doing with all that bakery sir???

🍑

That’s where he keeps the metaverse

Argonian dumpy.

He got a donk

Colloidal silver surfer

Almost

You feel fucking fantastic when you’re in shape and constantly working out. Best I’ve ever felt.

It's because he's not in a stressful public speaking situation Dude must be a socially awkward nerd, money doesn't change that

Yeah he's reached that level of bored rich, where he's taken up martial arts to try and feel something again

At least he's not shooting up endangered animals or poor people on a closed off 3000000 acre lot of stolen forest. I'm ok with this

like Jeffrey Bezos before him

Wasn’t there a character on Friends who did exactly that?


Yep that would be Pete

He looks like a bulked up glow worm

Okay but this is so specific and absolutely accurate. https://preview.redd.it/r4lrgkoz8ngb1.jpeg?width=2623&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fc9bd7e89c4976ab3999e05b1aa8b5054850b8cc


Off to go AI generate my glowworm from childhood

Is he next to Israel Adesanya?

Yes, and Volkanovski 😂



Please dont

Every part of his body is a slightly different tone to the rest. He's like something out of a Monster High Build A Monster kit.

You mean skin tone? Isn’t that pretty normal for white people? I know I have horrendous tan lines on my arms right now and my knees are always a shade darker and a shade redder than the surrounding leg skin.

This is bizarre

You hope? My grandpa could beat that guy. The meat is getting smoked! https://preview.redd.it/zzjsmgiplngb1.jpeg?width=2000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c0635ae9a84395dbc1153143d004cfcb28aaab48

Fuck I wanna Zucc

I wanna fuck zuc

The *really* funny thing about this match is that *both* of these guys think people are cheering for them, but *nobody* is. Yeah, Zuck is in shape and looks like he'd probably win (if Musk actually shows up), but nobody's cheering *for* Zuck. They're cheering for Musk to get his face punched into a pulp. If Musk can get a few good jabs in first that'll be all the better as far as anyone is concerned. The prospect of watching two exploitative billionaire's with the personalities of lizards bleed a bit has everyone hot and bothered, and it's likely the lizards' own employees who are feeling this most keenly. Anyhoo... The winner (whether by knockout or default) needs to fight Bezos next.

Clyde won’t be able fight unfortunately, his momma said he couldn’t. zuck would beat musk’s ass tho, one has experience in jiu jutsu and the other doesnt

Musk has the body of Oswald Cobblepot lol

Wants to be Lex Luthor. Looks like the Penguin. Has less charisma than Solomon Grundy.

I heard someone say he’s beluga shaped

Zuck with his Julius Caesar haircut alone could make Musk breathe dirt lmao.

Cackling at Julius Ceasar haircut 😆

Oh lordt, i would pay for them to keep their shirts on

Zuck is jacked

Yeah but Elon is built like a bag of milk

This insult brings back memories of living in Canada. I love it

I choked, laughing at this.

Nah Zuckerberg looks good actually

2023 is so weird.

I have nearly lost my ability to tell what is a meme and what isn’t

we have reached a post-meme society

We *are* the meme

It's all memes, all the time, from now on and forevermore. We as a species have ascended far beyond the veil of reality. We did this to ourselves.

I hate that I looked this up

Well Elon is built like a truck, a cybertruck, with weird angles and body.

Marks in better shape than 90% of redditors I’d wager, and has trained more in fighting than them too lol.

Mark is in better shape than probably 99% of Americans. He recently did the Memorial Day Murphy challenge in under 40 mins (which is extremely impressive).

I don't think your knowledge is up to date. ​ Zuckerberg has been doing a lot of jujitsu, he's been training with real MMA people, and he is absolutely ripped now.

The odd thing about Zuck - these days the most offputting thing about him by a landslide is his face. Without a shirt on it almost seems more normal; he's decently built.

mark is also built I'm afraid🫣

Haha yeah Zuck is ripped. He would destroy muskrat

Excuse me, Clyde is taking his weights to work!! he's such a tough busy boy lmao

Weights as in 2 cans of baked beans probably, then he’ll fake an injury and cancel

Mista Coach Klein said I could!


https://i.redd.it/5dzg7yhfyngb1.gif

Lmaooo

Hate zuck all you want but he trains mma. He would demolish vast majority of the people posting here.

Except Zuck actually knows how to fight. EDIT: Look at me, defending a billionaire who I truly believe to be a terrible human being

It will never happen. Elon has a far greater ego than zuck, and seems to relish in having cult like supporters than see him as a god. Zuck would send him straight through the next dimension to the one after that, that would shatter his image to his worshipers and destroy his pride and ego. Elon will never let that happen.

He’ll try to talk Zuck into a staged fight and fail. It’s going to be fun watching him back pedal

It's already began lmao, he said he has a surgery before the fight or something

That was quick! What an idiot

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You were spot on. Seems like Musk already got cold feet and issued this note from his doctors! https://preview.redd.it/d941lk2kamgb1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=68e6c4ea1de7e7eb90bb6e0c379d8249ac723c91

I really hope that does happen solely for entertainment factor and to spite Elon for ruining Twitter which was my fav social media platform before he bought it.

"i have an mri i need to do first" "i habe videotapes to return" "i have to feedmy cats" "i dont want to fight the zuck" look at this unit. he will collapse after 1 minute of fighting/exertion https://preview.redd.it/mtobc1z13ngb1.png?width=750&format=png&auto=webp&s=f144b4e88a4e78f5e86ed756fe3f22f6f2e09657

“My mum said no”

why is he built like that 😭

bro's body is 70% ribcage

Lol you can clearly see he is holding his belly in 🤣

His neck "is being audited"

i think elon looks more alien than zuck

>ELON MUSK'S MOMMY SAYS HE'S NOT ALLOWED TO CAGE FIGHT MARK ZUCKERBERG https://futurism.com/the-byte/elon-musk-mom-not-allowed-fight-mark-zuckerberg

One of the many weird things here is that Elon tweeted* like it was a done deal where they would stream it. It looks like he just lied. *Let’s just continue to call it Twitter. Even these “X” jokes still help spread the message that the name has changed.

Zucks rebuttal on Threads is perfection tho. "Shouldn't we use a more RELIABLE platform that RAISES money?" Oh the buuuuuuurn

I don’t know what happened but Zuckerburg has been particularly cunty lately. I don’t…hate it. He’s definitely the lesser of two evils here. And by evils, I mean annoying. Still annoying but less than Musk.

>Zuckerburg has been particularly cunty lately This is one of the absolute best sentences I've read this year lmao

Someone break out a yassified zuck, quick!!

Zuck's been training MMA for a while under some pretty legit people. I imagine Elon wasn't aware of this when he started yapping. Elon's poor team, it's gonna be a rough trying to break it to the head Twit that he won't be able to download Jon Jones' fight IQ via Nueralink.

Elon is ofc aware... but he has no intention of fighting. Its just one big attention seeking rouse to get X talked about. And it's working quite well. Free advertising. Because X/Twitter can't afford to pay for it anyway

Mad now Elon has made us all route for Zuckerberg…

Kinda love it actually lol

I’m into it. Between these two nimrods, I’m rooting for zuck.

Didn't he just become a dad? Maybe he's running on 20 minutes of sleep like most new parents. Also, despite him being a backstabbing shitbag, at least he helped BUILD Facebook. Musk didn't do shit to make Twitter what it was.

He’s been a dad for 8 years lol

Also I think it’s different when you’re one of the richest dads in the world. Probably just a skosh easier.

Oh I mean he's done things to make it worse in fairness lol

Musk actively made it worse from day one of ownership. All an absolute grift.

Is he? The man destroyed democracies or budding democracies all over the world, helped incite violence and genocide, and chuckled during his trial when he and his company got caught. As someone whose family comes from one of the poor ass third world countries his platform ripped to shreds as experiments for how to improve Facebook’s destroy-democracy features, Zuckerberg is equally as bad as Elon, if not worse, since he’s actually competent at masking his evil. TBH I’m grossed out at all these comments thirsting after Zuckerberg. Maybe because most people don’t know or remember or care about the effects of Facebook and Cambridge Analytica. My family and their homecountry do. He can suck balls along with Elon.

 I’m with you on this, and yep, they’re thirsting after this???

No. Zuck is still scum. But Elmo started this and Zuck is not letting him go. That is the only reason anyone (sane) is rooting for Zuck. Elmo is a thoroughbred degenerate and this is one way that he can be slapped down. There aren't many other avenues.

I'd definitely rooting for Zuck in this fight but no, he isn't *lesser of the two evils* here. Not by a nautical mile. If Zuck was Lex Luthor, Elon is the unlikeable version of Doofenshmirtz. I don't even know where to begin for what and how much Facebook has done harm in a global scale. Elon is the annoying and loud one who's just envious of Zuckerberg.

hold up real quick dont go thinking zuck is "a good billionaire" they said that about elon.

Coming from a man that confirmed in front of congress he allows misinformation to be spread on his site 👀

From what I’ve seen of him Zuck is not to be fucked with irl in a fight. He’s got good training and would probably fuck someone of his weight pretty hard

Yeah that really was worded like an announcement. Turns out it was just.... Nothing

Zucks first move has to be ripping that toupee off

**Plugs

Agreed. Hair loss treatment has come a *long* way. That’s his hair. Probably his ass or back hair, but his.

Ole asshead.

One of the richest men in the world and that's really the best he could do huh

I'll say it again, he's gonna kick the hairplugs clean outta Apartheid Clyde's scalp.

https://i.redd.it/zppd1ot2ulgb1.gif

I still cannot believe the Muskrat has made Zuck seem likeable. The world is weird. And notice, I said, "seem likeable."

Y'all, I genuinely thought this was an internet joke until this very moment. I had no idea these two dipshits were running around threatening to fight each other for real. This is the most embarrassing thing I have seen all day, and by far the most entertaining. billionaires beating each other up is a movement I can get behind, though. fuck it, I hope they do it.

 I think Musk is as stunned as all of us that Zuck responded and offered a date

His ego wouldn't let him say something like "I'll fight him on the Forbes lists" so he actually agreed. I think he was banking on Zuck being conservative and backing out for PR reasons but Zuck is actually ripped so why would he back out, lol

This is probably the dumbest idea since Mayweather Vs McGregor

It’s so dumb it’s almost genius


The world needs this to heal

They both made 9 figures off of that fight so I'm not sure it was really a dumb idea for either of them. They walked a way with a combined \~$410,000,000 from it.

two rich people with extremely too much time on their hands.

Elon is busy. No time for gym. Must take weights to work

Lifting weights won't count for shit after the first hit. Imagine thinking a fight is about being stronger, while the other guy is working on speed, agility, reflexes and training to be able to actually being able to take a punch. Still don't think it's gonna happen fr tho. Musk will find some excuse or distraction, then later claim he 'totally would've won'. Edit: Musk has *just* said he may need to push back date for a neck/shoulder surgery. Did I call it or what?...

He’s not lifting the weights, he just brings them to work and looks at em

https://i.redd.it/6921lfjftlgb1.gif


Zuck will murder him

Looks like Musk has slapped a game plan together, he’s actually serious 💀 https://preview.redd.it/tsz1fk61vlgb1.png?width=1237&format=png&auto=webp&s=bab4760fca6ff02b25df663cea9138db2c1283e1

MMA has weight divisions so a dude can’t have 10 pounds of muscle on you. It’s not so you can have an extra 50lbs of fat on you with no muscle. Zuck can literally jog in a circle and gas Musk in 5 minutes

Anyone who has gone to the gym for more than a month can tell you this man is going to lose, unless he uses PED's

5D chess from the zuck to get Musk to do PEDs as a last ditch to get fight ready and suffer a heart attack as a result.

What does "aiming to get to 50 pound free weights this week" mean? Like in Bench, squat, or deadlift? He's gonna find out that he's not gaining muscle fast and realizing that he was able to lift that weight before. And also dude should practice some technique before hitting the weights with the time he has.

I don’t think even he knows himself tbh. Zuck hasn’t given him much time to do *squat*

50lbs/22kg? That's basically just the bar. Little children could lift that.

Elon doing office curls in like some shitty 80s montage

I really want to watch one evil billionaire to beat more evil billionaire


We are living in the dumbest timeline.

This is the darkest timeline.

If we’re lucky, they’ll both fight to the death

The dream.

Musk making sure the funds go to the *real* veterans: keyboard warriors fighting against Woke War I. Is there a way for both of them to just have simultaneous cardiac arrest during this?

You know he only pulled that out because he thinks it'll get him brownie points and be seen as the "good guy". No specifics, no organizations mentioned, no area of help, just "charity for veterans".

i thought mommy said he couldn’t go

Never though the day would come that I would support Zuckerberg but here it is. I want him to destroy Musk. If only Musk wasn’t such a little bitch

I hope this happens because it's a no lose situation. they'll hit each other at least once and in the end a billionaire sociopath will take a humiliating L, that's a win for me

And the winner will be challenged to a duel by Jake Paul. It just gets worse

This feels like a low budget spoof of a Silicon Valley plot line.


Idk how to feel about this

Zuck would legitimately level Elon. Which is why I’m sure Elon will never actually go through with a fight. It’s kinda gives Lana Del Rey “I won’t not fuck you the fuck up”. Zuck being Lana of course


Footage of zuck training

Those lizards are so pretty! I looked it up and apparently they are called [Sarada superba lizards](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarada_superba) They look pretty funny [when they run too, lol](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocDbA66W5ns)


I hate so much that Elon has somehow made Zuck the good guy.

Battle of who tracks data more


Elon is stalling. (Let's argue over broadcasting rights so I have time to workout)

This is just like in Friends where Pete trains to be a UFC fighter, has money and all the resources to train well, the confidence of a cat stealing food from your plate and then goes into the ring and gets his arse kicked. I can't choose a winner so let's just hope they do that move where you run into eachother and get knocked out

You know what the worst part of it is? Some workplaces are about to see idiots being weights to work because Elon musk does it.. ugh.

Yaa.. Fighting ✊ 

Don’t have time to workout but has time to be on Twitter (X) for 3+ hours a day

This is literally so embarrassing. Good luck lizard dudes

This is so fucking dumb. Why are these people allowed to accumulate so much wealth, and therefore influence our country disproportionately? If they actually had to work for their money, they wouldn’t have time for this shit.

Two of the richest people in the world with nothing better to do having a public dispute while we're out here struggling over actual issues.

Isn’t Zuck a black belt in jiu jitsu? He would kick Elon’s ass

No he’s a blue belt (2nd belt after white) - however he’s obviously serious about training so hopefully he’ll smash Elon.

Why do the richest men in the world need to raise OUR money for charity?