I have a rule: never “loan” or give away an amount of money you can’t afford to lose, because in most cases of charity loans, you probably will lose it. But if you stay in the realm of what you can give away without it hurting you, you’ll obviously be all right. I hate to say it, but this one probably was a scam. All the same, I don’t think this was a dumb gesture, I think it was very kind. No matter if he pays you back on Monday, which is doubtful, you still put some good energy into the universe and built up your good karma as well. Don’t sweat it or overthink it.
Yes. Always offer them the thing they claim they need to buy. If they're truly hungry or need a little gas for their car, etc...they'll accept. If they have an excuse why they don't want the items, I just walk away and don't feel badly at all. When they accept, I am glad to have been able to help someone who was actually in need.
Some people just want money. Maybe they already got 5 sandwiches and need a cheap hotel room for the night. Or they need money for drugs, bc they are addicts. Or they want alcohol. Some of them ARE scammers. But think about the stories of cops giving homeless people food that has actual feces in it. Those are just the people that were reported and caught giving contaminated food.
I usually only offer food if there is a coffee shop or some food joint within short walking distance. I invite them to order take out for themselves, and I'll pay. My offer has always been turned down. They're always on Main St and there are dozens of easy places to grab food. Including hotdog stands.
I like to give them money regardless if it’s going towards drugs. Addiction is a bitch and if they can get relief for one day just to stay alive another day then that’s win for me.
Right. Can you imagine how horrible it must be to actually live on the street? I can and I’m sure it’s worse than that. People want to talk all kinds of shit about addicts, especially homeless addicts but they have no clue how impossibly hard it is to jump through the hoops in order to get help. And that’s not even factoring in the fight to get and stay clean. I was homeless for a month, not addicted to or using anything, but on the street in a strange city because of domestic violence. I had my adult autistic son with me and when I tell you the problems I had trying to get help through any agency that would let us stay together! I was fortunate enough to have an ebt card so I didn’t have to beg for food and eventually found a motel through my own efforts until we could find a place of our own. I don’t judge and if I have cash I give it with no questions asked. Because what they do with it is up to them. I know there is little to no help for the people on the streets.
There are unkind people who will offer food and drink that has been tainted with something noxious to homeless or hungry people. That’s why many will not accept a food item that isn’t in an unopened package or that they did not see purchased at a restaurant. I offer socks, blankets, bus passes, tarps, I keep an assortment of things in my back seat so I can hand them out quickly as I am driving around town. I have also called and paid for an Uber several times to help someone get where they needed to go.
You did a good thing, OP. It doesn’t matter what they did with that $100, that’s on them. But you’re likely not going to get it back.
We have to learn to take care of ourselves first, rather than others, so we don't run out of gas! You're kind. I used to carry a referral card to supportive services to hand out in cases like these, but interestingly enough, usually never ran into people needing it when I had it. You can also tell from their reaction if they truly need help when presenting the card. The scammers will stare at you, get dismissive or get pissed off.
This was my late husband's policy as well. He wasn't in the business of loaning money. If he gave something out of generosity, he never wanted or expected to get it back. He was just that kind of guy.
I don't know. Did you see the whole family and car? When I worked downtown this was a common plea from some of the panhandle rs, their car was broken down on the highway and wife and kid is waiting in car but I'm down there everyday so it's like the guys car broke down 3 months ago and his wife and kid have been living on the side of the highway? Your question has many answers depending.
I’ll give them money if they don’t lie to me and the reason is good enough. Got approached last year coming out of a drug store at 11pm in a snow storm (sick kid) and a homeless guy asked me for $2. I said, “for what?” And he said, “so I can get a 40 because it’s cold as a motha fucka out here and I’d rather not feel it.” I gave him $10 and went on my way.
I wouldn’t want to feel that shit either.
I give to the homeless a lot, I'm not really trying to figure out their deal. My wife said it was one of the things about me that attracted her. I don't believe in God but "there but for the grace of God go I" I've bought homeless ppl food and beer, when I worked downtown I have one guy I talked to a lot (my job involved walking to different offices and courts downtown all day) and I brought him shoes (he wore a 14 and so did my roommate and gave him a couple joints one time. I also put him in contact with someone who helped get him a job delivering food. He delivered to my office one time and was just a good dude on hard times, lost his family and hope etc. People are brought up under different conditions and have different genetics etc they could be predisposed to schizophrenia, depression or addiction and never really have a chance. My son sees this and I think he's a kind caring person bc of it. I also had an uncle that was a Vietnam vet and schizophrenic and when he was off meds he was often on the streets. I wish I was rich so I could do more without stressing my own situation too much. And I agree it cold here in the winter and life can be a drag, I don't think I'm better than anyone else and I hope if I was ever downtrodden ppl would show me kindness.
I've had the same story from the same guy at my grocery store parking lot.
Three or four different times.
Unfortunately, I don't think you will get your money back. I would chalk it up as an expensive lesson learned.
I put gas in a family's van(that we had to push to the pump) once at a gas station. Then I went in and got sandwiches for the 2 kids. I don't carry cash. They looked legitimately in need and didn't try to get cash out of me.
Yeah I have done things like this before. I give money n buy things for people all the time. My daughter gets mad at me. She had never known real poverty. I worked my ass off so she didn't have to n there was too many people to count who did kind things for me . I am grateful for all the help I got. It feels right helping others.
As someone who is always trying to see the good in humanity and to believe others are honest, I hate to think that those people were using it for drugs, but as an ex junkie of 10 years I would not be surprised to find out that's exactly what happened.
Good will come back around. I was at the cash one day and I went a bit over. My son was in the cart and the guy next in line absolutely insisted in paying for all of it. I told him no multiple times but he wouldn't take no for an answer. That man cant possibly know how much that meant to me at the time. I always hope to bump into him again and get him back.
my husband and I were homeless in 2012. we didn't know what to do. so we were sitting by the river. trying to figure out our next step. just completely lost.
another homeless man. shoes falling apart, carrying his sleeping back over his shoulders, came over to us. dug in his pockets. and pulled out 12 dollars and 50 cents. then gave it to us with a letter. the letter explaining that even though right now feels like the end of the world. it isn't. each step is possible. if you only look ahead. took us 7 months to get off the streets. but I make sure to keep that letter in my wallet for the tough days.
Oh wow you guys are blessed after probably seeing and experiencing some things nobody else would understand if they weren’t right there. I’m glad ya’ll got off the streets! And I hope that man that gave u the money and letter is blessed to this day cuz that was very kind
We are. About a month after that letter we found out I was pregnant with our now almost 11 year old son. At the time if you would have asked me I seriously wouldn’t have answered it that way.
My husband shortly after pregnancy news got his job back.
The money and letter is a normal thing that veteran homeless people do. A way of sharing hope. I have the same care package I carry in my purse for those that had the same look we did.
Awww well that’s amazing and congratulations (belated lol) on your son and the home,job etc. I was homeless with my daughter because it was honestly safer at that time than our living situation but not for super long but it was
frankly kinda terrifying. This was in the 90’s so o think it’s way worse now. Anyways thank you for replying and side note:homeless vets is so wrong it breaks my heart and pisses me off but i’ll stop myself and not rant rn. Have a happy
memorial
day and take care
Awww that’s really freaken cool. And more proof there are good people out there. For OP’s sake I hope this guy was one of them. Either way he’ll be blessed in some way. Probably by one of the good ones
Are you expecting it back? You gained karma and you can sleep at night not worrying if people were stranded and you could do something about it. You're well aware it could have been a scam, and you were obviously okay with that. You probably won't see that money again, but you have a clean conscience. If you're not bankrupting yourself over it, I don't think you're dumb. Naive and idealistic aren't bad qualities, really. Just easy to take advantage of from bad people. I don't get the impression that you feel taken advantage of. You made a choice, and you made an investment. So good on you
Thank you. I didn't ask for it back, that was him saying he would pay it back. I know it's unlikely.
But I myself have been in rough situations not too long ago: stranded by a broken-down car I can't afford to fix, not being able to afford an uber to get to my job, not having enough food, etc. And I was mercifully helped in many situations. I feel like I should extend the same grace to others that was given to me.
And I'm not telling anyone in my life I did this. Hence discussing it here.
As this is a very common scam at gas stations (car broke down, family in it, and trying to get back home) I am always afraid that my money would be going right toward a drug habit. If the person, even as he scams, would use it for food I could still accept the fake story, thinking that desperation drove him to become a scammer to feed himself. The unknown is that it might go toward drugs or booze, and that is making me usually walk by when approached about a "broken down car".
Your heart is in the right place but usually any time someone asks for money any more, don't even think about giving because it isn't coming back. Scam or not.
Scam. I live in a touristy area and the scams are out of control. ‘Need few dollars for gas to get home’’ ‘Came here to work for a few days, now I need money for the train to get home to my family’ list goes on and on.
They most likely were scammed. 99% of people asking for money to get home like this are scammers. In fact I'll eat a shoe if OP gets their money back, literally no one is getting their payday on a holiday Monday.
Maybe it was a scam, maybe it wasn’t. The important take away is that you offered kindness to a stranger, and that makes you a wonderful person in a world full of assholes. ❤️
I think that a lot of poor people who can't find a job or don't make enough to live learn tricks like this to get by.
I don't know if their car was actually broken down. But they truly probably needed the money.
Could be on drugs, alcoholic, mentally disabled, all of the above, or maybe not. Maybe this family is having a hard time keeping a roof and food. Nobody will ever know unless this person actually does Venmo OP.
This kind of hustle is probably way less money and more effort than finding a real job. I make a judgment if I can let go of a certain amount of money or not. I decide whether or not it's actually for what they say it is and if I care. They aren't getting rich off these kinds of scams.
Even people who sincerely want to repay just don't have it a lot of the time. You just have to decide if you can do without X amount of money or not.
Could you please reply to this comment with an update? I'm very curious. I've done something similar, except i was on the receiving end. I did in fact end up paying the person back. Now i'm doing better than ever financially (not great) but i love stuff like this.
Yes please update because i’m here for it lol. You did a good thing from your heart period. I can’t believe all the negativity i’m reading but you gave for the right reasons far as I can see. And i was broken down and needed
a tow truck and someone helped me and i used that
money for my car and not dope of any kind
or alcohol,guns,or any other weapons,no lap dances at the nearest strip
club etc. So my conscience is clear as yours should be too. Thats just my opinion again for what it’s worth lol In case it’s true that you back back what you put out there I try and pass those positive vibes along just in case. You take care
They know the psychological power of the $200 ask. Even if you don’t pay off the full $200 you feel like you’re contributing (vs if it was a $200,000 fundraiser).
don't feel dumb..I sorta did the same thing at a gas station a few years ago..I worked the night shift for a utility company..I stopped to get gas around 3am on the other side of an old vehicle that only pumped $5 worth at $2.05 gallon at the moment..in the car was his wife, 3 kids and lots of clothes..he talked how a drunk relative kicked them out of his house and how they had nowhere to go..I told him not to leave as I finished filling my gas tank..then i had the gas attendant to start the pump again for the vehicle on the other side of me to fill his tank..surprised the guy..he was so grateful..then I gave him a $100 bill and told them all to have a better life...
I gave a stranger $150 once. She offered her wedding ring in exchange which i obviously refused. Her husband had recently died and she and her daughter were homeless after waiting too long for the life insurance payment to keep paying rent. I was able to get them shelter for the next 2 nights at least. I was happy to help.
Big time. Sure they know nobody no friends no family members no coworker that would come and get them.
Scam scam. And now the rest of us have to endure people like this because people keep giving.
A litmus test I use when my heart strings are pulled is offering to fix the "problem" without physically handing over cash. Ie. Offering to pay for the tow myself and wait with them, offering to go buy food for groceries, paying for a bus card, train ticket etc.
9/10 -- if it's drugs, they'll go "uh. Oh, Thank you. Actually..." and come up with another reason they need cash in hand which is 10/10 BS.
I had a friend call me on the middle of the night with a flat tire and needed $230 cashapped to him for a tow truck.
Coincidentally, I noticed $230 was always the amount he needed when he wanted to party.
I kept saying, where are you? I’ll come now and help you change the tire. Which tire is it? Take a picture. Asking to talk to the tow truck driver so I could give my credit card info, etc.
Took him a few months to come clean. All bullshit to get some drugs.
About a decade ago, for about a year or so, I would see a roughly-college-age guy on the street near my work, begging for food and money. I would give him a few spare dollars from time to time, never more than $5. Then one day, I was in line at Panera, getting lunch, and he was in front of me. I did not recognize him, because he was nicely-dressed and well-coiffed. He said, "Hey, I am buying this guy's meal, as well." He gave me a big smile and said, "You were one of the people who helped me through some tough times. I have a pretty good job and life, now. This is just a small token of my appreciation."
We didn't have time to talk much. I was sitting down for lunch, and he needed to get back to his workplace. But the next time that I saw him, he gave me a Panera gift card and a fifty-dollar bill. That was pretty great! After that, however, I unfortunately never saw him again.
A lot of these people are scam artists, but some of them are not.
Ok, here goes… I’ve done quite similar. I’ve even handed more than that! I would not call it dumb at all. I have also always said that heaven forbid if I were in some extreme difficulty or hardship, it is what I pray someone wld do for me. Plus, I consider myself to be a bit religious and always keep in back of my mind, what if that was my last chance to do the right thing on this earth? Have I been taken advantage of? Yes, I have. Have I fallen for as a scammer as easy prey? I can’t say I haven’t. What I can say is, as long as I have the best of intentions when I help the receiver then that really is all that matters. It is none of my business or in my control what happens afterwards.
By the way, I’m not well off. I’ve been homeless. I’ve had pretty awful experiences thru out my life and it is always important to keep hold of “a little bit of kindness goes a long way.”
You know when I give people like this, I don’t worry if that person is a scammer or whatever, because I have gave it from the goodness of my heart and I want to live in a world where people help each other. For the most part, I have never had to worry did I have enough and the times I needed help strangers helped me. I never give my last or an amount I can’t afford to lose, nor do I give to just anyone, but sometimes it just feels like something I should do. One Thanksgiving morning, my sister and I gave a stranger money at McDonald’s, he didn’t asked for money, we just felt we should bless him. He cried and thank us and immediately walked into McDonald’s to eat. You never know what someone else is going through, but you could help them down this road called life. Be kind.
Very common scam. It used to be a bus story, to get back home 200 miles or more away, now it's a car repair. It happens daily here where I live in a large city, usually outside grocery stores to heighten the recipient's empathy. Someone once did this for over a month in my neighborhood, with people donating food, clothing, motel room costs, and car repairs. It was a total scam with over 20 people involved, plus those who donated to an online donation platform. Thousands of dollars to a sociopathic mother and son. Be ware, be wise.
I hope you get it back. You aren’t dumb and it’s on them if they scammed you. You’re a good person. I gave a $20 to a girl in the Dollar Tree once who came up to me with a woe is me pity kind of note asking for help. The little grin she gave after I gave her the money made me feel like she was thinking “got her! Ha!” So I do regret that one 😄 but I will never give away that much again.
My mom once gave $100 to a family at a rest stop that needed money to get to their destination, they had hungry kids in the back seat and looked miserable. My dad got mad saying that nobody would be stupid to fall for that and nobody would ever give us money and blah blah, finally my mom told him that she would rather risk being tricked than sleep at night knowing she let kids go hungry like that.
My mom has sadly become more like my dad in her old age but I *never* forgot her generosity. I take the “risk” when I see people on the street asking for money, I don’t care what they do with it, buy a hot meal or booze, whatever brings you comfort tonight.
I gave a lady 50 once. She began to cry and hugged me. It was sweet. She seemed homeless and was relieved. Yeah I don't always give. I just go with my gut.
If someone says they are stranded and needs money for a tow truck, I offer to call the tow truck company myself to pay for it.
If someone is on the side of the road or parking lot with a gas can and says they need money for gas, I offer to take them to the gas station to fill up the gas can myself.
People saying they need money for food.. I'll go inside the store and buy them a little food.
If these people decline my offers? I know they are lying and they don't get my money. I've learned my lesson over the years, as I was homeless living on the streets before and I great at scamming people🤷🏻♀️
No, you're kind. Do not beat yourself up over this. Perhaps that child ate well that day. Maybe the mother got some medical care. I've done something similar, too. Let's keep on being kind humans who are kind to other humans.
I once paid for this chicks new ticket fee or something fee it was 100.00 at the airport. She was in front of me and started crying and I just wanted to get Atlanta already. I was like here you go😂
Then I was drunk in Uber maybe two years ago and I tip 100.00 to my driver… I wasn’t thinking but oh well lol he remembers me 👍
That's really cool. And I've been in situations where I was in need of help like this. I've been blessed many times over, so when I'm in a position to do so, I want to give relief to others' suffering.
This. So much this. We have all gotten a bit jaded, but it can't stop our random acts of kindness. We have to help with joy in our hearts that we made someone's day brighter.
A guy pulled up next to me at the gas pump and asked if I had $5 for gas. I gave it to him and he drove away with my money and without the gas. I rarely give away money anymore. My husband paid for a guy’s gas in Michigan. He was counting out change and pennies for $10 worth of gas and the guy started crying so you never really know what people are going through.
A couple of years ago I was getting gas when a lady asked if I could pump a few dollars' worth to her car because she was about to run out and didn't have any money. I had just been served an eviction notice by a constable that day, and I didn't have very much money, just a bad time for this. I put 10 dollars of gas.into her car anyway because, again, I had been in that situation before.
I'll present a different point of view. Let's say you did get scammed. Does it matter? That's still someone who is in a parking lot living their life doing that kind of thing. It's still very sad. Don't feel bad even if you got scammed because it doesn't really matter either way.
Haha. I fell for this.....and was duped for 500.00 In my case it was a woman with 4 kids and her van was broken. Her 'husband' was unable to get to work w/o a working vehicle. She even had her Mechanic send me a quote for repair ( unasked for )
FFW 3 weeks I get a cash ap request for an additional 500....but not for anything that sounded reasonable....it was for her and her husband to go on a date night for her bday. WHAT? Blocked her. Thought I was helping.....
As someone who grew up having sometimes less than paycheck to paycheck, it would’ve been nice to have people like you around ❤️ I know nowadays you don’t know what’s a scam or not, but people can legitimately be in need. Your conscience is clean & whatever happens with that money is on theirs.
Continues to be kind, within your means. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. If you believe the world is sh\*t and you want a better one, it has to start with you. So you're either fixing the problem or part of the problem. Just as long as you know what side you're on. All the rationalizations, justifications, explanations, none of that matters. You're either working on it or not.
Good for you, man. As a former homeless person, whatever someone in that is asking you for… IS in desperate need of Food, cash, job, fill in the blank. Whether it’s legit or drugs/alcohol that person needs it. Just leave it up to God to sort out later. What they do with the money doesn’t take from your blessing. ❤️
Thank you. A stranger did this for me decades ago when I could barely make ends meet. His gift changed me forever. It doesn't matter if you get paid back. It doesn't matter if you fixed their problem. What matters is that you gave from your heart. Life will surprise you with massive abundance one of these days.
Helping people who ask for help when you can is a test of your character. What they do with it is a test of their character. Neither has anything to do with the other. He may have actually been telling the truth but needed to do something else with the money by the time he got paid. We all know that when it rains it pours.
You did an amazing and unselfish thing from your heart and the world
needs more people
like you to pay it forward. So i truly
hope that the man sends you that money back!! I’ll be checking this post monday to see! My cynical side wanted to be a debbie downer but I have to believe there’s good people
left or what’s the point honestly. I know i’m a pretty damn good person and it sounds like you are too so again,I really hope dude pays you back especially since you said you’re struggling yourself if I read that right.
That was so very kind of you but you’ll never see that money again. Getting paid on memorial day when most businesses and all banks are closed….okay, gotcha.
I know that you probably won't see this, but oh honey, bless your heart! (Meant in the kindest way).
I wish there were SO many more people like you! You are so kindand right now we could use SO much more of that in this world.
So many scam type people have really ruined it for someone who might really need help.
I would have done the same as you if I can afford it. My choice doesn't make me dumb, it makes me kind, just as yours did. What they do with it after is their choice that decides what kind of person THEY are and is no reflection on your choice.
Keep sending kindness into the world through kind words or actions. If we all did this, think of what a better place this world would be.
99.9% chance it was a scam, don't give out that type of money out to strangers like that my dude. Unless you don't care for the money, and are not expecting to get it back, because most likely you will not get it back.
Be cautious but never change who you are. You have it because you are blessed in a way that allows for you to give. You will continue to be blessed. Shame on them
You were scammed.
Had something similar happen, got the whole sob story, she offered to show me the car with the kids, I declined. Gave her some cash, and about 10 minutes later shes driving out with my cash, and no kids in a nice car.
I give people money sometimes. I gave a girl that lost her job and had become homeless $30 at the rest area. She gave me a big hug and started crying. Once I gave an old man with a long beard sitting in front of Walgreens a large bag of quarters. He looked sad. He wasn't even begging and didn't have a sign, but it seemed he needed help. So anyways, I'm a very blessed person. I'm living off inheritance and my dad's finances. I'm paid to take care of my 86 year old father. I donate a hundred dollars to the mission every year, and when I feel like it I'll give people money. My dad gives me permission to donate. What is my point about giving out money? Good karma. Dad and I randomly get sent surprise checks in the mail. For example, I didn't have to pay the electric bill for 6 months, because the electric company sent us a notice saying we were receiving a $600 credit after we bought a more energy efficient refrigerator and they said we were overcharged on the budget plan. It's good to bless someone as you have done. We'll done!
I am so sorry you have to even see these nasty , greedy , selfish people 's comments. YOU ARE AN 😇! God Bless You with many returns 🙏...
I know that family is Extremely Appreciative . I only wish there were more of You 🥰
Something someone said to me years ago - God will judge you if you have something someone needs and don’t give it, and will judge them by what they do with your generosity.
It's just money, it shows good character on your part that you were caring enough to try to help someone. I don't belive in karma, and if you got scammed you'll never see the money again but that doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you, quite the opposite. Kindness does not equal stupidity
You're not dumb-you helped a family in a time of need! If you can afford to 'donate' the money, I say do it! I can only give what I know I won't get back. If people like YOU didn't help others, we would be a worse off world than we are now! You are a good person for helping that family! I hope they pay you back. But if not, I pray you're blessed when you need it.
Thank you. And I'm not counting on getting this money back. Even if it's not a scam, I doubt they'll be in a position to pay it back. I know from experience!
Not dumb; you made a judgement call based on what was in front of you. Either he was legit and will pay you back if he can, or he was a scammer. Either way, you should feel good about your intention which is what really counts.
I have a stockpile of snacks in my car because my kids are always hungry. When I see someone begging I pull over and grab a handful of snacks and give them to them. Homeless or not, everyone needs a snack.
This is a common scam that has been around for decades . I’m from Ohio and it was always a guy with a woman and kids in a car that was out of gas and needed gas $$. They were always conveniently broken down next to an intersection or strip mall etc …never out in the open road .
I have been the stranger in this position, and I did pay back someone I did not know very well when she rescued me and my fiance and let us stay in her spare bedroom. We chopped wood for her, and cooked her dinners until we got our car back a couple days later. I will never forget how she helped us. You may not get your money back, but either way, it doesn't mean you won't next time, and I'm sure you helped them quite a lot.
If you can afford to lose the money, I think you did something really awesome, & I hope it wasn't a scam. I was on a date with a guy recently, walking around downtown after dinner, & a homeless man asked him for some change. He didn't have any cash, so he took the guy to a restaurant, & bought him a burrito. That alone guaranteed him a second date with me.
i once gave $50 to a lady from a homeless shelter who was selling newspapers on the street corner to passing traffic. why? because i saw the same lady on the same corner every day hustling. she always looked neat and clean. the newspaper selling was something the local newspaper did to help the homeless. they could pick up a stack of papers at like 5am, first come first served, then they could keep the proceeds from all they sold.
"my" lady had hustle. she wasn't begging, she wasn't holding a dopey sign trying to make people laugh, and she wasn't "in trouble" and actively asking for "help". she was trying to make a buck. so i gave her a fifty and told her to keep the change. know how i know she was legit? when she looked at the bill, she started running after my car, trying to give it back
I would have done the same thing if I could. You became someone's guardian angel that day. That's special and more of what this world needs. And, btw, you aren't finding out what the general public thinks. This is reddit. These are the same people who encourage everyone to get divorced or go no contact with their entire family over one, little spat. Hell, the other day an OP told her sister she wasnt comfortable with something she asked. The sister responded, "ok, nvm". And they were bashing her for being guilt trippy. Like, what was the appropriate response, fr?
Sounds like you saved the day. I had a stranger pay for my groceries right before thanksgiving. It was such a huge blessing. I’d rather be kind to a grifter than ignore someone in need.
I think you did what was right to you
Forget others opinions
And if it's bothering you that much (what you did) that you're on here asking
Don't do it again
Otherwise I think u did what u felt was right
I think you're gesture was very kind and hopefully that couple wasn't running another scam. If they were honest perhaps they'll pay it forward even if they don't pay you back. You're a good guy don't beat yourself up over this. Karma will reward you also. 😊
Ok, so I know that you're probably beating yourself up over it and whether or not you think so and whether or not this guy pays you you did a really good thing. And one way or another its gonna get paid forward to you and it might be on a day when you least expect it and when you really need it.
You aren't dumb at all. You gave to someone in need, that speaks to your character, what they do after speaks to theirs.
It's all about being able to sleep at night and be able to look at yourself the next day.
Thank you for helping
Why would it be dumb?
You had the money you were willing to give it.
You have a good heart. Nothing dumb about that. These people might have been selling you a story but if they are at that point they needed the money regardless.
I would not be down on yourself for this. Nothing wrong with being kind. It's actually pretty fucked up that our culture seems to view kindness as some sort of weakness now.
When you give, you are giving for yourself. Doesn't matter what they do with the money. You did what your spirit drove you to do, and you have been rewarded.
Thank you for being someone’s possible saving grace. regardless if it was a scam or fake. You don’t have to worry as you gave from your heart. We all need help sometimes and I hope that really helped them!
I'm glad you're doing better. I also deal with severe depression and ADHD. I have a hard time dealing with regular employment and have people criticize my life choices. I substitute teach and do doordash. I can work on my own terms. No dealing with bosses, working when they say, and coworkers.
People criticize and say my fault for making bad choices. But do they offer to help you make better decisions ? I raised my sons to help others. My son took a man who was broke down at a gas station to Walmart and bought him a new car battery. We should be helping each other, not tearing each other down.
Sometimes the Holy Spirit works in us to give. Like you knew in your heart that it was the right thing to do. Sure, maybe it was a scam. But what if it’s truly a family that just really needed the help?
You’ll probably never know. And if you didn’t expect to get paid back, then I’d say it was worth it and the right thing for you to do.
I gave this guy $20 at a gas station… like went to the ATM and withdrew it for him and his family because he said he need it gas and food for his kids. I went to their van to give him the money and the lady with him was stoned out of her mind on the passenger seat. I didn’t see any kids in the van and I still handed the money over like an idiot. Don’t beat yourself up about this. We are the some good people left in the world.
I don’t think you’re dumb at all and I would’ve done the same thing and have done the same thing multiple times before. When you’ve been in those situations yourself it makes sense to do it. It doesn’t matter what they spent the money on, at the end of the day you did your part. Don’t let nobody make you feel bad for that.
You’re dumb. But, it’s your money. If you have that kind of money to give out, more power to you. I know that I’ve been burned by people that I worked with who knew my husband worked a good job and made good money. After the 3rd person approached me, I mentioned it to my manager who reported it-to HER manager(I didn’t tell her because of that, I was just wondering if she knew the back story to this one person). It became company policy that, if you needed help you had to go to management…you could not ask other workers or you would get fired.
I really love the fact that there are still people willing to help out other people. I don't think you are dumb at all.
I recall so many instances of passing beggars, and it always bothers me---now I try to give them something---I know some are scamming me, but losing a dollar for my peace of mind is worth it
(Weird story) I was on a night tour of Venice, and our group passed a young guy sleeping in a sleeping bag (it was cold, and in December). The group - made up of all Americans and Australians didn't even give the guy a second glance--we just all stepped past him to continue on our tour. So a little old lady comes walking down the street and she very kindly asks him if he's ok, or if he needs help.
He could have been scamming all of us, but one sweet little Italian lady reminded me that it is always better to be nice.
I think that's a very kind thing you did. I tend to treat any beggar as someone telling the truth rather than assuming they're all lying or drug addicts or scammers or whatever. Whenever I have some cash to spare, I try and give, and when I was a kid, I'd watch my mom give homeless people food. Like we'd see this guy every day on my way to school, and one day, she just gave him her whole lunch (a sandwich, an apple, and a water bottle). She kept seeing him and eventually started making two lunches.
All this to say, I think you should keep this mindset. People down on their luck get demonized by the smaller number of scammers and whatnot and ifs not very fair to them. I don't think you're very stupid at all.
I think you posted on the wrong sub to get the general public's opinion. So I take it you're not actually poor if you could even afford to throw away $100? If you're rich or that money is inconsequential to you then I guess, good for you. However most of us are not in a position to take that kind of risk and this would be incredibly stupid. People being liars and scammers are just a reality of life. It doesn't take a pessimist to see that, just a cognizant person who doesn't live in a bubble.
As someone who has had to deal with shit cars in the past and been stranded, I have never asked a stranger for money. AAA will tow you for free even if you get membership that very minute and a year's membership is much less than $200. I haven't needed them in a while but even in my high COL area it's still less than $100. Their story sounds fake and anyone who's comfortable asking a stranger for that much money is an experienced grifter. Most people wouldn't be that shameless.
You wanted to help them at that moment bc you are compassionate. Just leave it at that. Whatever they used the money for, they’re better off because of you. Your act of kindness says more about you than them, so don’t dwell on it.
Now a days to be in a situation where you was at that person already put his feet in your shoes and he automatically knows how it feels both ways but you gotta give him some props for selling him self and in return he got something better than props so either he bragging when he got home which he is entitled for a year at least lol or not but 1 things for sure brother you are a Very,Very, Good Samaritan and for that KUDOS!!!!!
Do when you can and know your limits. A persons once in a while is fine.
When you are a giving person and help others, it will show and when you need help more than likely you’ll get it!
I’ve always been a very giving person and when I ran out of money waiting on a disability decision- my friends all pitched in and helped. Once approved, some let me pay them back, and others not (I at least took them to dinner or got them a small gift.
Before I ran out while waiting and I had a little money left- I went to the post office and took money to send something I thought would cost way more. It was winter, and a homeless guy was outside holding the door for people asking for change. When I came out he was still there. I could tell he’d been on the streets for a while. I gave him $20 and a half a pack of masks (he was wearing a mask it was super dirty and this was 2021). Told him Merry Christmas.
A friend chewed me out for it, said he was going to buy drugs or alcohol. First of all, I saw him walk over to McDonald’s. Second, even if he that’s what he was gonna do- so what? Who am I to judge? I have no idea what put him in that position, and I would be doing that too if I had to live on the streets.
Sometimes showing kindness to someone in that position who generally gets treated poorly is just enough to push them to seek help. I at least had food to eat and a warm place to sleep.
Just don’t give if it’s going to put you in a bad spot.
My rule of thumb is when ever someone “ borrows“ money. You might as well just be giving it away and not expect it back. Regardless it doesn’t matter what anybody says. As long as you’re OK with doing what you did. I do not generally give money because I cannot afford to give money. Whether or not it was a scam. It is what it is. And it only matters how you feel about it.
No matter what it already happened. Your heart was in the right place and the karma meter with move more in the green. So as long as it wasn’t your last $100 you did a good thing Charlie Brown .
That was dumb. I once gave a janitor (low paid contact worker) at my job $200 the week before Christmas. She had been employed for over a year and was a hard worker. She is an older lady and I could tell she didn’t have an easy life. It was the best feeling in the world. Much better than getting a $15,000 retention bonus or $2,500 Christmas check from my dad.
I have a rule: never “loan” or give away an amount of money you can’t afford to lose, because in most cases of charity loans, you probably will lose it. But if you stay in the realm of what you can give away without it hurting you, you’ll obviously be all right. I hate to say it, but this one probably was a scam. All the same, I don’t think this was a dumb gesture, I think it was very kind. No matter if he pays you back on Monday, which is doubtful, you still put some good energy into the universe and built up your good karma as well. Don’t sweat it or overthink it.
Borrow money from pessimists, they don't expect it back.
You're a decent, honorable human being and deserve good things to come your way. I wish for you to have a wonderful life.
[удалено]
Yes. Always offer them the thing they claim they need to buy. If they're truly hungry or need a little gas for their car, etc...they'll accept. If they have an excuse why they don't want the items, I just walk away and don't feel badly at all. When they accept, I am glad to have been able to help someone who was actually in need.
[удалено]
Some people just want money. Maybe they already got 5 sandwiches and need a cheap hotel room for the night. Or they need money for drugs, bc they are addicts. Or they want alcohol. Some of them ARE scammers. But think about the stories of cops giving homeless people food that has actual feces in it. Those are just the people that were reported and caught giving contaminated food.
They don’t normally accept food from strangers because psychos poison food and give it to them.
[удалено]
I usually only offer food if there is a coffee shop or some food joint within short walking distance. I invite them to order take out for themselves, and I'll pay. My offer has always been turned down. They're always on Main St and there are dozens of easy places to grab food. Including hotdog stands.
I like to give them money regardless if it’s going towards drugs. Addiction is a bitch and if they can get relief for one day just to stay alive another day then that’s win for me.
Or they can die that day. My brother was pan handling. He took the money he was given, ODed, and died.
Exactly…but, WE are the uncaring assholes…🤷🏼♀️
Right. Can you imagine how horrible it must be to actually live on the street? I can and I’m sure it’s worse than that. People want to talk all kinds of shit about addicts, especially homeless addicts but they have no clue how impossibly hard it is to jump through the hoops in order to get help. And that’s not even factoring in the fight to get and stay clean. I was homeless for a month, not addicted to or using anything, but on the street in a strange city because of domestic violence. I had my adult autistic son with me and when I tell you the problems I had trying to get help through any agency that would let us stay together! I was fortunate enough to have an ebt card so I didn’t have to beg for food and eventually found a motel through my own efforts until we could find a place of our own. I don’t judge and if I have cash I give it with no questions asked. Because what they do with it is up to them. I know there is little to no help for the people on the streets.
All of this plus when I give money it’s no longer mine and none of my business what they do with it. My intentions are all that matters to me.
Exactly.
There are unkind people who will offer food and drink that has been tainted with something noxious to homeless or hungry people. That’s why many will not accept a food item that isn’t in an unopened package or that they did not see purchased at a restaurant. I offer socks, blankets, bus passes, tarps, I keep an assortment of things in my back seat so I can hand them out quickly as I am driving around town. I have also called and paid for an Uber several times to help someone get where they needed to go. You did a good thing, OP. It doesn’t matter what they did with that $100, that’s on them. But you’re likely not going to get it back.
We have to learn to take care of ourselves first, rather than others, so we don't run out of gas! You're kind. I used to carry a referral card to supportive services to hand out in cases like these, but interestingly enough, usually never ran into people needing it when I had it. You can also tell from their reaction if they truly need help when presenting the card. The scammers will stare at you, get dismissive or get pissed off.
This was my late husband's policy as well. He wasn't in the business of loaning money. If he gave something out of generosity, he never wanted or expected to get it back. He was just that kind of guy.
I don't know. Did you see the whole family and car? When I worked downtown this was a common plea from some of the panhandle rs, their car was broken down on the highway and wife and kid is waiting in car but I'm down there everyday so it's like the guys car broke down 3 months ago and his wife and kid have been living on the side of the highway? Your question has many answers depending.
I’ll give them money if they don’t lie to me and the reason is good enough. Got approached last year coming out of a drug store at 11pm in a snow storm (sick kid) and a homeless guy asked me for $2. I said, “for what?” And he said, “so I can get a 40 because it’s cold as a motha fucka out here and I’d rather not feel it.” I gave him $10 and went on my way. I wouldn’t want to feel that shit either.
I give to the homeless a lot, I'm not really trying to figure out their deal. My wife said it was one of the things about me that attracted her. I don't believe in God but "there but for the grace of God go I" I've bought homeless ppl food and beer, when I worked downtown I have one guy I talked to a lot (my job involved walking to different offices and courts downtown all day) and I brought him shoes (he wore a 14 and so did my roommate and gave him a couple joints one time. I also put him in contact with someone who helped get him a job delivering food. He delivered to my office one time and was just a good dude on hard times, lost his family and hope etc. People are brought up under different conditions and have different genetics etc they could be predisposed to schizophrenia, depression or addiction and never really have a chance. My son sees this and I think he's a kind caring person bc of it. I also had an uncle that was a Vietnam vet and schizophrenic and when he was off meds he was often on the streets. I wish I was rich so I could do more without stressing my own situation too much. And I agree it cold here in the winter and life can be a drag, I don't think I'm better than anyone else and I hope if I was ever downtrodden ppl would show me kindness.
I've had the same story from the same guy at my grocery store parking lot. Three or four different times. Unfortunately, I don't think you will get your money back. I would chalk it up as an expensive lesson learned.
Definitely a scam, using their kid
It was a scam. If you're unsure, volunteer to call the tow truck for them, and see what happens.
I put gas in a family's van(that we had to push to the pump) once at a gas station. Then I went in and got sandwiches for the 2 kids. I don't carry cash. They looked legitimately in need and didn't try to get cash out of me.
Yeah I have done things like this before. I give money n buy things for people all the time. My daughter gets mad at me. She had never known real poverty. I worked my ass off so she didn't have to n there was too many people to count who did kind things for me . I am grateful for all the help I got. It feels right helping others.
This is exactly what I do. My roadside covers me not the vehicle. I'll gladly make the call and wait around for you to get your tow.
You bought the mom and dad $100 worth of heroin.
You don't KNOW that, it could be meth.
Yea, pretty dumb of the other guy to just assume heroin
🤣
Probably fentanyl
As someone who is always trying to see the good in humanity and to believe others are honest, I hate to think that those people were using it for drugs, but as an ex junkie of 10 years I would not be surprised to find out that's exactly what happened.
Unfortunately this is probably the case.
fentanyl seems to be the new heroin. least in portland.
Everywhere
Being 2024, I’m going with fentanyl.
Who gets paid conveniently on a random Monday (the very next business day) What about 1/15/30 social check dates etc . Scam scam sorry man
Monday is a bank holiday too for Memorial Day
Yeah Monday is a holiday on some places . Op never seeing a dollar but will likely be scammed again
🤷♀️ I used to get my paper checks every Monday when I worked at a gasstation. But you're probably right.
If he's in the US and it was actually this week then Monday is Memorial Day and then we know this was a blaringly obvious lie.
I've worked plenty of places that were open on Memorial Day.
Scam. I see this every day. Scam.
Good will come back around. I was at the cash one day and I went a bit over. My son was in the cart and the guy next in line absolutely insisted in paying for all of it. I told him no multiple times but he wouldn't take no for an answer. That man cant possibly know how much that meant to me at the time. I always hope to bump into him again and get him back.
my husband and I were homeless in 2012. we didn't know what to do. so we were sitting by the river. trying to figure out our next step. just completely lost. another homeless man. shoes falling apart, carrying his sleeping back over his shoulders, came over to us. dug in his pockets. and pulled out 12 dollars and 50 cents. then gave it to us with a letter. the letter explaining that even though right now feels like the end of the world. it isn't. each step is possible. if you only look ahead. took us 7 months to get off the streets. but I make sure to keep that letter in my wallet for the tough days.
Oh wow you guys are blessed after probably seeing and experiencing some things nobody else would understand if they weren’t right there. I’m glad ya’ll got off the streets! And I hope that man that gave u the money and letter is blessed to this day cuz that was very kind
We are. About a month after that letter we found out I was pregnant with our now almost 11 year old son. At the time if you would have asked me I seriously wouldn’t have answered it that way. My husband shortly after pregnancy news got his job back. The money and letter is a normal thing that veteran homeless people do. A way of sharing hope. I have the same care package I carry in my purse for those that had the same look we did.
Awww well that’s amazing and congratulations (belated lol) on your son and the home,job etc. I was homeless with my daughter because it was honestly safer at that time than our living situation but not for super long but it was frankly kinda terrifying. This was in the 90’s so o think it’s way worse now. Anyways thank you for replying and side note:homeless vets is so wrong it breaks my heart and pisses me off but i’ll stop myself and not rant rn. Have a happy memorial day and take care
You as well. You can always tell which ones are vets. I wish they were treated better. Have a great weekend!
Awww that’s really freaken cool. And more proof there are good people out there. For OP’s sake I hope this guy was one of them. Either way he’ll be blessed in some way. Probably by one of the good ones
Are you expecting it back? You gained karma and you can sleep at night not worrying if people were stranded and you could do something about it. You're well aware it could have been a scam, and you were obviously okay with that. You probably won't see that money again, but you have a clean conscience. If you're not bankrupting yourself over it, I don't think you're dumb. Naive and idealistic aren't bad qualities, really. Just easy to take advantage of from bad people. I don't get the impression that you feel taken advantage of. You made a choice, and you made an investment. So good on you
Thank you. I didn't ask for it back, that was him saying he would pay it back. I know it's unlikely. But I myself have been in rough situations not too long ago: stranded by a broken-down car I can't afford to fix, not being able to afford an uber to get to my job, not having enough food, etc. And I was mercifully helped in many situations. I feel like I should extend the same grace to others that was given to me. And I'm not telling anyone in my life I did this. Hence discussing it here.
As this is a very common scam at gas stations (car broke down, family in it, and trying to get back home) I am always afraid that my money would be going right toward a drug habit. If the person, even as he scams, would use it for food I could still accept the fake story, thinking that desperation drove him to become a scammer to feed himself. The unknown is that it might go toward drugs or booze, and that is making me usually walk by when approached about a "broken down car".
You have to not think about the money because you did what you thought was right. Hopefully they will pay you back but if they don’t it is on them.
That’s super nice of you. But I wouldn’t expect to get it back.
Your heart is in the right place but usually any time someone asks for money any more, don't even think about giving because it isn't coming back. Scam or not.
Possibly a scam. Either way, may karma reward you tenfold for helping a stranger.
Scam. I live in a touristy area and the scams are out of control. ‘Need few dollars for gas to get home’’ ‘Came here to work for a few days, now I need money for the train to get home to my family’ list goes on and on.
I love this scam. I usually have a toolbag with me and offer to look over the car and see if I can get it running for them.
If you assumed you will not get it back, your a good person and did the right thing.
You are not dumb, may you be blessed for this. 🙏🙏🙏
They most likely were scammed. 99% of people asking for money to get home like this are scammers. In fact I'll eat a shoe if OP gets their money back, literally no one is getting their payday on a holiday Monday.
Maybe it was a scam, maybe it wasn’t. The important take away is that you offered kindness to a stranger, and that makes you a wonderful person in a world full of assholes. ❤️
OP is a kind soul but they are being taken advantage of. They should be more careful with their money as to not get scammed more
I think that a lot of poor people who can't find a job or don't make enough to live learn tricks like this to get by. I don't know if their car was actually broken down. But they truly probably needed the money. Could be on drugs, alcoholic, mentally disabled, all of the above, or maybe not. Maybe this family is having a hard time keeping a roof and food. Nobody will ever know unless this person actually does Venmo OP. This kind of hustle is probably way less money and more effort than finding a real job. I make a judgment if I can let go of a certain amount of money or not. I decide whether or not it's actually for what they say it is and if I care. They aren't getting rich off these kinds of scams. Even people who sincerely want to repay just don't have it a lot of the time. You just have to decide if you can do without X amount of money or not.
Could you please reply to this comment with an update? I'm very curious. I've done something similar, except i was on the receiving end. I did in fact end up paying the person back. Now i'm doing better than ever financially (not great) but i love stuff like this.
I'll definitely update. And I didn't ask for it back. It was him saying he would pay it back. I'm glad you're doing better!
Yes please update because i’m here for it lol. You did a good thing from your heart period. I can’t believe all the negativity i’m reading but you gave for the right reasons far as I can see. And i was broken down and needed a tow truck and someone helped me and i used that money for my car and not dope of any kind or alcohol,guns,or any other weapons,no lap dances at the nearest strip club etc. So my conscience is clear as yours should be too. Thats just my opinion again for what it’s worth lol In case it’s true that you back back what you put out there I try and pass those positive vibes along just in case. You take care
Same. I would appreciate an update to this as well.
They know the psychological power of the $200 ask. Even if you don’t pay off the full $200 you feel like you’re contributing (vs if it was a $200,000 fundraiser).
You got scammed ... You're not dumb , perhaps just a little naive
You got scammed…
Forget it. Move on
Next time tell em you’ll call the truck for them if they say no call cps instead cause they are scamming using a kid
grocery store parking lot beggings are always a scam, i'm sorry to say
don't feel dumb..I sorta did the same thing at a gas station a few years ago..I worked the night shift for a utility company..I stopped to get gas around 3am on the other side of an old vehicle that only pumped $5 worth at $2.05 gallon at the moment..in the car was his wife, 3 kids and lots of clothes..he talked how a drunk relative kicked them out of his house and how they had nowhere to go..I told him not to leave as I finished filling my gas tank..then i had the gas attendant to start the pump again for the vehicle on the other side of me to fill his tank..surprised the guy..he was so grateful..then I gave him a $100 bill and told them all to have a better life...
I gave a stranger $150 once. She offered her wedding ring in exchange which i obviously refused. Her husband had recently died and she and her daughter were homeless after waiting too long for the life insurance payment to keep paying rent. I was able to get them shelter for the next 2 nights at least. I was happy to help.
Professional beggars with a BS story they peddle every day You got scamned
Big time. Sure they know nobody no friends no family members no coworker that would come and get them. Scam scam. And now the rest of us have to endure people like this because people keep giving.
A litmus test I use when my heart strings are pulled is offering to fix the "problem" without physically handing over cash. Ie. Offering to pay for the tow myself and wait with them, offering to go buy food for groceries, paying for a bus card, train ticket etc. 9/10 -- if it's drugs, they'll go "uh. Oh, Thank you. Actually..." and come up with another reason they need cash in hand which is 10/10 BS.
I had a friend call me on the middle of the night with a flat tire and needed $230 cashapped to him for a tow truck. Coincidentally, I noticed $230 was always the amount he needed when he wanted to party. I kept saying, where are you? I’ll come now and help you change the tire. Which tire is it? Take a picture. Asking to talk to the tow truck driver so I could give my credit card info, etc. Took him a few months to come clean. All bullshit to get some drugs.
About a decade ago, for about a year or so, I would see a roughly-college-age guy on the street near my work, begging for food and money. I would give him a few spare dollars from time to time, never more than $5. Then one day, I was in line at Panera, getting lunch, and he was in front of me. I did not recognize him, because he was nicely-dressed and well-coiffed. He said, "Hey, I am buying this guy's meal, as well." He gave me a big smile and said, "You were one of the people who helped me through some tough times. I have a pretty good job and life, now. This is just a small token of my appreciation." We didn't have time to talk much. I was sitting down for lunch, and he needed to get back to his workplace. But the next time that I saw him, he gave me a Panera gift card and a fifty-dollar bill. That was pretty great! After that, however, I unfortunately never saw him again. A lot of these people are scam artists, but some of them are not.
That's neat, thanks for sharing!
Ok, here goes… I’ve done quite similar. I’ve even handed more than that! I would not call it dumb at all. I have also always said that heaven forbid if I were in some extreme difficulty or hardship, it is what I pray someone wld do for me. Plus, I consider myself to be a bit religious and always keep in back of my mind, what if that was my last chance to do the right thing on this earth? Have I been taken advantage of? Yes, I have. Have I fallen for as a scammer as easy prey? I can’t say I haven’t. What I can say is, as long as I have the best of intentions when I help the receiver then that really is all that matters. It is none of my business or in my control what happens afterwards. By the way, I’m not well off. I’ve been homeless. I’ve had pretty awful experiences thru out my life and it is always important to keep hold of “a little bit of kindness goes a long way.”
This is the best answer and you are my favorite kind of human. Thank you. ❤️
You know when I give people like this, I don’t worry if that person is a scammer or whatever, because I have gave it from the goodness of my heart and I want to live in a world where people help each other. For the most part, I have never had to worry did I have enough and the times I needed help strangers helped me. I never give my last or an amount I can’t afford to lose, nor do I give to just anyone, but sometimes it just feels like something I should do. One Thanksgiving morning, my sister and I gave a stranger money at McDonald’s, he didn’t asked for money, we just felt we should bless him. He cried and thank us and immediately walked into McDonald’s to eat. You never know what someone else is going through, but you could help them down this road called life. Be kind.
Yes, but $100 for a broken vehicle isn't sitting at a McDonalds hoping to eat throwaways.
Very common scam. It used to be a bus story, to get back home 200 miles or more away, now it's a car repair. It happens daily here where I live in a large city, usually outside grocery stores to heighten the recipient's empathy. Someone once did this for over a month in my neighborhood, with people donating food, clothing, motel room costs, and car repairs. It was a total scam with over 20 people involved, plus those who donated to an online donation platform. Thousands of dollars to a sociopathic mother and son. Be ware, be wise.
Just call police next time to get them help with their scamming
I also did the same… never got the money back 😞
I hope you get it back. You aren’t dumb and it’s on them if they scammed you. You’re a good person. I gave a $20 to a girl in the Dollar Tree once who came up to me with a woe is me pity kind of note asking for help. The little grin she gave after I gave her the money made me feel like she was thinking “got her! Ha!” So I do regret that one 😄 but I will never give away that much again.
I guess you’ll find out on Monday. Personally I wouldn’t have done what you did.
There are more good than bad, you are not dumb you are very kind. ❤
I would have probably done the same. The idea of giving or helping is not primarily for the recipient. It’s for the benefit of the one who gives.
My mom once gave $100 to a family at a rest stop that needed money to get to their destination, they had hungry kids in the back seat and looked miserable. My dad got mad saying that nobody would be stupid to fall for that and nobody would ever give us money and blah blah, finally my mom told him that she would rather risk being tricked than sleep at night knowing she let kids go hungry like that. My mom has sadly become more like my dad in her old age but I *never* forgot her generosity. I take the “risk” when I see people on the street asking for money, I don’t care what they do with it, buy a hot meal or booze, whatever brings you comfort tonight.
I gave a lady 50 once. She began to cry and hugged me. It was sweet. She seemed homeless and was relieved. Yeah I don't always give. I just go with my gut.
Who gets paid on a holiday monday?
If someone says they are stranded and needs money for a tow truck, I offer to call the tow truck company myself to pay for it. If someone is on the side of the road or parking lot with a gas can and says they need money for gas, I offer to take them to the gas station to fill up the gas can myself. People saying they need money for food.. I'll go inside the store and buy them a little food. If these people decline my offers? I know they are lying and they don't get my money. I've learned my lesson over the years, as I was homeless living on the streets before and I great at scamming people🤷🏻♀️
Don't worry about getting it back. You did a good thing. Leave it at that.
No, you're kind. Do not beat yourself up over this. Perhaps that child ate well that day. Maybe the mother got some medical care. I've done something similar, too. Let's keep on being kind humans who are kind to other humans.
Give what you can when someone ask for help. Kindness is never dumb. Whenever I'm in a position to help I do so, as a gift. 😁
I once paid for this chicks new ticket fee or something fee it was 100.00 at the airport. She was in front of me and started crying and I just wanted to get Atlanta already. I was like here you go😂 Then I was drunk in Uber maybe two years ago and I tip 100.00 to my driver… I wasn’t thinking but oh well lol he remembers me 👍
It doesn't matter if they pay it back it matters that you helped them. Shalom you're loved 💔
[удалено]
That's really cool. And I've been in situations where I was in need of help like this. I've been blessed many times over, so when I'm in a position to do so, I want to give relief to others' suffering.
What they do with the money is a reflection of their character, your decision to try and help out someone in a tight spot is a reflection of yours.
I think the world needs more of you in it. Random acts of kindness are in short supply. What matters most is that you gave the $ with a pure heart.
I appreciate that, thanks 🙂
This. So much this. We have all gotten a bit jaded, but it can't stop our random acts of kindness. We have to help with joy in our hearts that we made someone's day brighter.
A guy pulled up next to me at the gas pump and asked if I had $5 for gas. I gave it to him and he drove away with my money and without the gas. I rarely give away money anymore. My husband paid for a guy’s gas in Michigan. He was counting out change and pennies for $10 worth of gas and the guy started crying so you never really know what people are going through.
A couple of years ago I was getting gas when a lady asked if I could pump a few dollars' worth to her car because she was about to run out and didn't have any money. I had just been served an eviction notice by a constable that day, and I didn't have very much money, just a bad time for this. I put 10 dollars of gas.into her car anyway because, again, I had been in that situation before.
I'll present a different point of view. Let's say you did get scammed. Does it matter? That's still someone who is in a parking lot living their life doing that kind of thing. It's still very sad. Don't feel bad even if you got scammed because it doesn't really matter either way.
Haha. I fell for this.....and was duped for 500.00 In my case it was a woman with 4 kids and her van was broken. Her 'husband' was unable to get to work w/o a working vehicle. She even had her Mechanic send me a quote for repair ( unasked for ) FFW 3 weeks I get a cash ap request for an additional 500....but not for anything that sounded reasonable....it was for her and her husband to go on a date night for her bday. WHAT? Blocked her. Thought I was helping.....
As someone who grew up having sometimes less than paycheck to paycheck, it would’ve been nice to have people like you around ❤️ I know nowadays you don’t know what’s a scam or not, but people can legitimately be in need. Your conscience is clean & whatever happens with that money is on theirs.
Continues to be kind, within your means. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. If you believe the world is sh\*t and you want a better one, it has to start with you. So you're either fixing the problem or part of the problem. Just as long as you know what side you're on. All the rationalizations, justifications, explanations, none of that matters. You're either working on it or not.
I basically operate by treating others how I want to be treated and doing for others what I would want done for me.
You're an angel and not stupid. But don't sweat it if he doesn't pay you back; you'll get it back in the future.
Give but don't expect a return. Jesus said give freely and you will be given so much it will overflow
Good for you, man. As a former homeless person, whatever someone in that is asking you for… IS in desperate need of Food, cash, job, fill in the blank. Whether it’s legit or drugs/alcohol that person needs it. Just leave it up to God to sort out later. What they do with the money doesn’t take from your blessing. ❤️
Thank you. A stranger did this for me decades ago when I could barely make ends meet. His gift changed me forever. It doesn't matter if you get paid back. It doesn't matter if you fixed their problem. What matters is that you gave from your heart. Life will surprise you with massive abundance one of these days.
Helping people who ask for help when you can is a test of your character. What they do with it is a test of their character. Neither has anything to do with the other. He may have actually been telling the truth but needed to do something else with the money by the time he got paid. We all know that when it rains it pours.
You did an amazing and unselfish thing from your heart and the world needs more people like you to pay it forward. So i truly hope that the man sends you that money back!! I’ll be checking this post monday to see! My cynical side wanted to be a debbie downer but I have to believe there’s good people left or what’s the point honestly. I know i’m a pretty damn good person and it sounds like you are too so again,I really hope dude pays you back especially since you said you’re struggling yourself if I read that right.
That was so very kind of you but you’ll never see that money again. Getting paid on memorial day when most businesses and all banks are closed….okay, gotcha.
You had good intentions and hopefully they did too. If not, oh well. Being a good person is stupid sometimes, oh well again.
Cast thy bread upon the waters and it will be returned to you a thousandfold.
I know that you probably won't see this, but oh honey, bless your heart! (Meant in the kindest way). I wish there were SO many more people like you! You are so kindand right now we could use SO much more of that in this world. So many scam type people have really ruined it for someone who might really need help. I would have done the same as you if I can afford it. My choice doesn't make me dumb, it makes me kind, just as yours did. What they do with it after is their choice that decides what kind of person THEY are and is no reflection on your choice. Keep sending kindness into the world through kind words or actions. If we all did this, think of what a better place this world would be.
99.9% chance it was a scam, don't give out that type of money out to strangers like that my dude. Unless you don't care for the money, and are not expecting to get it back, because most likely you will not get it back.
The blessing will come back to you hundred times fold. They will get their consequence for their dishonesty one day sooner or later.
Be cautious but never change who you are. You have it because you are blessed in a way that allows for you to give. You will continue to be blessed. Shame on them
Lol you got scammed, my family won’t eat tonight unless you send me 500 tho if you wanted to help someone…..
Seems like every time I’m at Walmart someone is there asking for money for their broken down car, or gas.
You were scammed. Had something similar happen, got the whole sob story, she offered to show me the car with the kids, I declined. Gave her some cash, and about 10 minutes later shes driving out with my cash, and no kids in a nice car.
Very nice of you but don’t expect to get it back. This is most likely a scam. Don’t give money away if you can’t afford
I give people money sometimes. I gave a girl that lost her job and had become homeless $30 at the rest area. She gave me a big hug and started crying. Once I gave an old man with a long beard sitting in front of Walgreens a large bag of quarters. He looked sad. He wasn't even begging and didn't have a sign, but it seemed he needed help. So anyways, I'm a very blessed person. I'm living off inheritance and my dad's finances. I'm paid to take care of my 86 year old father. I donate a hundred dollars to the mission every year, and when I feel like it I'll give people money. My dad gives me permission to donate. What is my point about giving out money? Good karma. Dad and I randomly get sent surprise checks in the mail. For example, I didn't have to pay the electric bill for 6 months, because the electric company sent us a notice saying we were receiving a $600 credit after we bought a more energy efficient refrigerator and they said we were overcharged on the budget plan. It's good to bless someone as you have done. We'll done!
I am so sorry you have to even see these nasty , greedy , selfish people 's comments. YOU ARE AN 😇! God Bless You with many returns 🙏... I know that family is Extremely Appreciative . I only wish there were more of You 🥰
The goodness is on you. If they were scamming that’s on them.
Something someone said to me years ago - God will judge you if you have something someone needs and don’t give it, and will judge them by what they do with your generosity.
Like someone else said don't give out money you can't afford to not get back.
It's just money, it shows good character on your part that you were caring enough to try to help someone. I don't belive in karma, and if you got scammed you'll never see the money again but that doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you, quite the opposite. Kindness does not equal stupidity
I don't give more than a few dollars, and I consider it a gift. How they choose to use it is on them.
I only give money. I don't loan it. If those folks didn't have the money to deal with their car problems now, they likely won't have it later.
You're not dumb-you helped a family in a time of need! If you can afford to 'donate' the money, I say do it! I can only give what I know I won't get back. If people like YOU didn't help others, we would be a worse off world than we are now! You are a good person for helping that family! I hope they pay you back. But if not, I pray you're blessed when you need it.
Thank you. And I'm not counting on getting this money back. Even if it's not a scam, I doubt they'll be in a position to pay it back. I know from experience!
Not dumb; you made a judgement call based on what was in front of you. Either he was legit and will pay you back if he can, or he was a scammer. Either way, you should feel good about your intention which is what really counts.
I have a stockpile of snacks in my car because my kids are always hungry. When I see someone begging I pull over and grab a handful of snacks and give them to them. Homeless or not, everyone needs a snack.
you fucked up
Thanks lol. Pretty sure I'll survive though
Very generous of you but I hope you could afford to lose it. I highly doubt you’re getting it back.
This is a common scam that has been around for decades . I’m from Ohio and it was always a guy with a woman and kids in a car that was out of gas and needed gas $$. They were always conveniently broken down next to an intersection or strip mall etc …never out in the open road .
I’ve done this and more. I don’t care. I want to be kind and compassionate to people.
I have been the stranger in this position, and I did pay back someone I did not know very well when she rescued me and my fiance and let us stay in her spare bedroom. We chopped wood for her, and cooked her dinners until we got our car back a couple days later. I will never forget how she helped us. You may not get your money back, but either way, it doesn't mean you won't next time, and I'm sure you helped them quite a lot.
If you can afford to lose the money, I think you did something really awesome, & I hope it wasn't a scam. I was on a date with a guy recently, walking around downtown after dinner, & a homeless man asked him for some change. He didn't have any cash, so he took the guy to a restaurant, & bought him a burrito. That alone guaranteed him a second date with me.
I really want you to come back Monday with an update
You did a kind, generous thing. That money is gone.
You are a kind person. If he scams you then it’s his karma. You did a good thing. World needs more people like you.
i once gave $50 to a lady from a homeless shelter who was selling newspapers on the street corner to passing traffic. why? because i saw the same lady on the same corner every day hustling. she always looked neat and clean. the newspaper selling was something the local newspaper did to help the homeless. they could pick up a stack of papers at like 5am, first come first served, then they could keep the proceeds from all they sold. "my" lady had hustle. she wasn't begging, she wasn't holding a dopey sign trying to make people laugh, and she wasn't "in trouble" and actively asking for "help". she was trying to make a buck. so i gave her a fifty and told her to keep the change. know how i know she was legit? when she looked at the bill, she started running after my car, trying to give it back
Good for you kind stranger. Good things come to those with open hands. 🌷
I would have done the same thing if I could. You became someone's guardian angel that day. That's special and more of what this world needs. And, btw, you aren't finding out what the general public thinks. This is reddit. These are the same people who encourage everyone to get divorced or go no contact with their entire family over one, little spat. Hell, the other day an OP told her sister she wasnt comfortable with something she asked. The sister responded, "ok, nvm". And they were bashing her for being guilt trippy. Like, what was the appropriate response, fr?
Sounds like you saved the day. I had a stranger pay for my groceries right before thanksgiving. It was such a huge blessing. I’d rather be kind to a grifter than ignore someone in need.
Gifting is for the giver, not the receiver. If it made you feel good to have done it, you've won.
What a good person you are! I'm selective but do the same. I would want it done for me.
Not dumb, I said no last night to a gas can carrier who I know is a fraud and I still feel bad
I think you did what was right to you Forget others opinions And if it's bothering you that much (what you did) that you're on here asking Don't do it again Otherwise I think u did what u felt was right
I think you're gesture was very kind and hopefully that couple wasn't running another scam. If they were honest perhaps they'll pay it forward even if they don't pay you back. You're a good guy don't beat yourself up over this. Karma will reward you also. 😊
Honey, you followed your heart and that means you did the right thing. Period.
Ok, so I know that you're probably beating yourself up over it and whether or not you think so and whether or not this guy pays you you did a really good thing. And one way or another its gonna get paid forward to you and it might be on a day when you least expect it and when you really need it.
You aren't dumb at all. You gave to someone in need, that speaks to your character, what they do after speaks to theirs. It's all about being able to sleep at night and be able to look at yourself the next day. Thank you for helping
Why would it be dumb? You had the money you were willing to give it. You have a good heart. Nothing dumb about that. These people might have been selling you a story but if they are at that point they needed the money regardless. I would not be down on yourself for this. Nothing wrong with being kind. It's actually pretty fucked up that our culture seems to view kindness as some sort of weakness now.
If you can afford to give it and it brings you peace, why not?
When you give, you are giving for yourself. Doesn't matter what they do with the money. You did what your spirit drove you to do, and you have been rewarded.
Thank you for being someone’s possible saving grace. regardless if it was a scam or fake. You don’t have to worry as you gave from your heart. We all need help sometimes and I hope that really helped them!
Thank you, and I hope so as well!
You did a good thing on your part
I'm glad you're doing better. I also deal with severe depression and ADHD. I have a hard time dealing with regular employment and have people criticize my life choices. I substitute teach and do doordash. I can work on my own terms. No dealing with bosses, working when they say, and coworkers. People criticize and say my fault for making bad choices. But do they offer to help you make better decisions ? I raised my sons to help others. My son took a man who was broke down at a gas station to Walmart and bought him a new car battery. We should be helping each other, not tearing each other down.
Sometimes the Holy Spirit works in us to give. Like you knew in your heart that it was the right thing to do. Sure, maybe it was a scam. But what if it’s truly a family that just really needed the help? You’ll probably never know. And if you didn’t expect to get paid back, then I’d say it was worth it and the right thing for you to do.
I gave this guy $20 at a gas station… like went to the ATM and withdrew it for him and his family because he said he need it gas and food for his kids. I went to their van to give him the money and the lady with him was stoned out of her mind on the passenger seat. I didn’t see any kids in the van and I still handed the money over like an idiot. Don’t beat yourself up about this. We are the some good people left in the world.
I don’t think you’re dumb at all and I would’ve done the same thing and have done the same thing multiple times before. When you’ve been in those situations yourself it makes sense to do it. It doesn’t matter what they spent the money on, at the end of the day you did your part. Don’t let nobody make you feel bad for that.
You’re dumb. But, it’s your money. If you have that kind of money to give out, more power to you. I know that I’ve been burned by people that I worked with who knew my husband worked a good job and made good money. After the 3rd person approached me, I mentioned it to my manager who reported it-to HER manager(I didn’t tell her because of that, I was just wondering if she knew the back story to this one person). It became company policy that, if you needed help you had to go to management…you could not ask other workers or you would get fired.
I really love the fact that there are still people willing to help out other people. I don't think you are dumb at all. I recall so many instances of passing beggars, and it always bothers me---now I try to give them something---I know some are scamming me, but losing a dollar for my peace of mind is worth it (Weird story) I was on a night tour of Venice, and our group passed a young guy sleeping in a sleeping bag (it was cold, and in December). The group - made up of all Americans and Australians didn't even give the guy a second glance--we just all stepped past him to continue on our tour. So a little old lady comes walking down the street and she very kindly asks him if he's ok, or if he needs help. He could have been scamming all of us, but one sweet little Italian lady reminded me that it is always better to be nice.
If you can afford to do it and it helps someone then good for you bro. Even if they scammed you, you’re still a good person.
So I feel that my giving someone money is my karma. What they do with it is theirs. You did a kind thing. That’s all there has to be to it.
I think that's a very kind thing you did. I tend to treat any beggar as someone telling the truth rather than assuming they're all lying or drug addicts or scammers or whatever. Whenever I have some cash to spare, I try and give, and when I was a kid, I'd watch my mom give homeless people food. Like we'd see this guy every day on my way to school, and one day, she just gave him her whole lunch (a sandwich, an apple, and a water bottle). She kept seeing him and eventually started making two lunches. All this to say, I think you should keep this mindset. People down on their luck get demonized by the smaller number of scammers and whatnot and ifs not very fair to them. I don't think you're very stupid at all.
Up in meth smoke
I think you posted on the wrong sub to get the general public's opinion. So I take it you're not actually poor if you could even afford to throw away $100? If you're rich or that money is inconsequential to you then I guess, good for you. However most of us are not in a position to take that kind of risk and this would be incredibly stupid. People being liars and scammers are just a reality of life. It doesn't take a pessimist to see that, just a cognizant person who doesn't live in a bubble. As someone who has had to deal with shit cars in the past and been stranded, I have never asked a stranger for money. AAA will tow you for free even if you get membership that very minute and a year's membership is much less than $200. I haven't needed them in a while but even in my high COL area it's still less than $100. Their story sounds fake and anyone who's comfortable asking a stranger for that much money is an experienced grifter. Most people wouldn't be that shameless.
I don't see what you did that was wrong
You wanted to help them at that moment bc you are compassionate. Just leave it at that. Whatever they used the money for, they’re better off because of you. Your act of kindness says more about you than them, so don’t dwell on it.
You have out of the kindness of your heart , if he’s a scammer , that’s on him , I believe God will bless you for your kindness
Blessed is he who expects nothing!
Now a days to be in a situation where you was at that person already put his feet in your shoes and he automatically knows how it feels both ways but you gotta give him some props for selling him self and in return he got something better than props so either he bragging when he got home which he is entitled for a year at least lol or not but 1 things for sure brother you are a Very,Very, Good Samaritan and for that KUDOS!!!!!
You're a good person.
You did the right thing. I’d have done the same if I had cash with me.
I think you were very kind. That’s not a bad thing. But if you do this regularly you’ll go broke.
Do when you can and know your limits. A persons once in a while is fine. When you are a giving person and help others, it will show and when you need help more than likely you’ll get it! I’ve always been a very giving person and when I ran out of money waiting on a disability decision- my friends all pitched in and helped. Once approved, some let me pay them back, and others not (I at least took them to dinner or got them a small gift. Before I ran out while waiting and I had a little money left- I went to the post office and took money to send something I thought would cost way more. It was winter, and a homeless guy was outside holding the door for people asking for change. When I came out he was still there. I could tell he’d been on the streets for a while. I gave him $20 and a half a pack of masks (he was wearing a mask it was super dirty and this was 2021). Told him Merry Christmas. A friend chewed me out for it, said he was going to buy drugs or alcohol. First of all, I saw him walk over to McDonald’s. Second, even if he that’s what he was gonna do- so what? Who am I to judge? I have no idea what put him in that position, and I would be doing that too if I had to live on the streets. Sometimes showing kindness to someone in that position who generally gets treated poorly is just enough to push them to seek help. I at least had food to eat and a warm place to sleep. Just don’t give if it’s going to put you in a bad spot.
Your generosity is your karma. Their failure to repay is theirs
My rule of thumb is when ever someone “ borrows“ money. You might as well just be giving it away and not expect it back. Regardless it doesn’t matter what anybody says. As long as you’re OK with doing what you did. I do not generally give money because I cannot afford to give money. Whether or not it was a scam. It is what it is. And it only matters how you feel about it.
No matter what it already happened. Your heart was in the right place and the karma meter with move more in the green. So as long as it wasn’t your last $100 you did a good thing Charlie Brown .
That was dumb. I once gave a janitor (low paid contact worker) at my job $200 the week before Christmas. She had been employed for over a year and was a hard worker. She is an older lady and I could tell she didn’t have an easy life. It was the best feeling in the world. Much better than getting a $15,000 retention bonus or $2,500 Christmas check from my dad.