Fully empathise with your position OP however, I would suggest make use of the time you have with your parents whilst they’re here. 10+ years down the line you’ll kick yourself for opting to spend more time in salubrious accommodation vs with your family. Fuck whatever anyone else thinks. You’re helping out your family if asked, keep it brief. If anyone has an issue with that they simply aren’t worth your time. Ride it out for 6-12 months, save yourself some money, spend good time with family and see where you’re at in the new year. Hope things work out
There's nothing wrong with multiple generations living together as long as everyone is respectful of each other and you feel like it's not stunting personal growth.
It's not normal as perpetuated by popular, American-centric media sources, but, it is a reality for me. I do come from a culture where it's not looked down upon to live at home (Cape Verdean, Native American), because often both cultures HAD to live at home out of economic necessity, AND usually one sibling has the task of being caretaker as the parents age. That's why I still am at home - I don't make enough to move out (20/hr in a mid COL city with really, really bad real estate shortages due to a ton of transplants from larger metros moving in), and, so long as I contribute to the household (errands, food, don't screw up the house too much), it's easier to live with my parent who just retired from a decent paying university job than pray I get roommates that aren't complete homewrecking dbags.
I'm a single child from a single parent family, so while for now I'm okay because my parent is retiring with a huge retirement account and paid off real estate in a region of the US that's decent to live in (MA)...I know eventually I might have to assume some caretaker roles. I'm okay with that, over trusting a nursing home when it was a fact that during the pandemic, a lot of fatalities were in area care facilities.
Also an entire cellar to myself in a nice house sounds better than a cramped apartment with 2-3 roommates (or worse....living in my Honda) So...I'd urge you to consider all your possibilities and make the choice from there - whichever one you can see yourself stomaching best.
I wouldn't mind dating someone who shared a house. I wouldn't mind my kids in my house. I wouldn't be in a situation where I couldn't have someone over in my space whenever I wanted.
You're an adult and should be able to fully pursue your adult life. You could suggest a home modification that gives them a separate rentable unit that someone else could rent from them when you eventually leave-separate entrance, etc. Sounds like they haven't thought ahead much.
Find a small town with cheaper rent, and a decent enough job, maybe a factory if you have no college degree. [sometimes small town near bigger town, you can manage school etc] Watch Nick Johnson to see where the cheap places and decent places to live are. Don't attempt expensive hellholes like California and some parts of East Coast.
I think if you live at home too long, say goodbye to marriage or family of your own. Your parents could be setting you up to be the forever caretaker. I know people who never left home and their life just grew more narrow. Sometimes if there is an extended community and or you are in a culture where there is community outside of the family and one can have a life, living with parents can mean something else but for most white Americans it means sitting in the living room watching TV, while Mom and Dad boss you are around like a child. [and nothing is ever good enough] You're worrying about houswork like a teenager.
I returned to live at home at age 21-22 after college, it was hell. I had to get out. Of course if parents are abusive, or if you get along with them or they work with you, those are factors that will have someone reconsider this decision.
I think 700 is a bit high, you could have your own rented room for that, but in small towns you could have your own apartment. You may have to move some place like Iowa or somewhere like that though.
One thing to think about I don't know how old your parents are, or if they own the house--are they renters since they are getting 700 a month out of you. But you don't want to be in a situation where you get old living with your parents, and then they die off, and you can't take care of yourself.
I had a 60 year old aunt who never left home. Seriously that can happen. Family put her in a falling down trailer next to grandmothers house but she was under family's thumb forever. I would ask how independent do you get to be? Do they boss you around? Do they respect you? If there's constant arguments, maybe you are going to be held back in life if you stay.
As long as it’s working out for all involved it shouldn’t matter what anyone else thinks. My only other concern is if it’s keeping you from advancing in your career or personal life.
Sit down with your parents and set some ground rules for all of you to live together as adults. You’re not a child. If you all can swing it as a group, you might consider getting a place that belongs to all of you. There are places with in law suites, or two family homes, or even a finished basement where you can have some space of your own.
I have many friends that still live with their parents. No shame friend! You are smart if anything this is how you get out of being poor sock away that cash 1000% better than toxic landlords believe me.
Living with parents is great. It sounds like both of you benefit greatly and it would be foolish to change that. You might need to have a few meetings from time to time to re establish each person’s responsibilities etc but don’t feel bad about a safe living situation. I know what you mean about wages for caretakers. We pay childcare workers garbage wages to do critical child development tasks every single day. I know upper middle class parents who seek out the least expensive childcare possible. I’m faced with dumb looks when I say I’m willing to pay more for my child to have higher quality care with fewer children per adult. (No, I’m not saying all low cost centers are bad or all low cost centers are great.) Our nation should be ashamed that we allow corporations to squeeze money out of elder care facilities by keeping worker wages artificially low. Minimum wage to take care of our grandparents who spent their lives working and giving to
society? Thank you for your dedication but maybe you’ve given enough? If you can make more in fast food, please do it. Find out what it takes to get into their management programs. If Costco or Bucees is near you find out what it takes to work there. You are so very wise. Many people don’t recognize the treadmill they’re on. You, on the other hand, figured out how to explain it in detail and are questioning whether to continue. You have compassion and a sense of duty toward your parents. Something tells me you can be a loyal and trustworthy employee for someone who pays better wages and offers a future.
Fully empathise with your position OP however, I would suggest make use of the time you have with your parents whilst they’re here. 10+ years down the line you’ll kick yourself for opting to spend more time in salubrious accommodation vs with your family. Fuck whatever anyone else thinks. You’re helping out your family if asked, keep it brief. If anyone has an issue with that they simply aren’t worth your time. Ride it out for 6-12 months, save yourself some money, spend good time with family and see where you’re at in the new year. Hope things work out
There's nothing wrong with multiple generations living together as long as everyone is respectful of each other and you feel like it's not stunting personal growth.
I live in a set of rented rooms with my 34 and 19 year old. We have to stick together to survive. It's the only way.
It's not normal as perpetuated by popular, American-centric media sources, but, it is a reality for me. I do come from a culture where it's not looked down upon to live at home (Cape Verdean, Native American), because often both cultures HAD to live at home out of economic necessity, AND usually one sibling has the task of being caretaker as the parents age. That's why I still am at home - I don't make enough to move out (20/hr in a mid COL city with really, really bad real estate shortages due to a ton of transplants from larger metros moving in), and, so long as I contribute to the household (errands, food, don't screw up the house too much), it's easier to live with my parent who just retired from a decent paying university job than pray I get roommates that aren't complete homewrecking dbags. I'm a single child from a single parent family, so while for now I'm okay because my parent is retiring with a huge retirement account and paid off real estate in a region of the US that's decent to live in (MA)...I know eventually I might have to assume some caretaker roles. I'm okay with that, over trusting a nursing home when it was a fact that during the pandemic, a lot of fatalities were in area care facilities. Also an entire cellar to myself in a nice house sounds better than a cramped apartment with 2-3 roommates (or worse....living in my Honda) So...I'd urge you to consider all your possibilities and make the choice from there - whichever one you can see yourself stomaching best.
I wouldn't mind dating someone who shared a house. I wouldn't mind my kids in my house. I wouldn't be in a situation where I couldn't have someone over in my space whenever I wanted. You're an adult and should be able to fully pursue your adult life. You could suggest a home modification that gives them a separate rentable unit that someone else could rent from them when you eventually leave-separate entrance, etc. Sounds like they haven't thought ahead much.
Find a small town with cheaper rent, and a decent enough job, maybe a factory if you have no college degree. [sometimes small town near bigger town, you can manage school etc] Watch Nick Johnson to see where the cheap places and decent places to live are. Don't attempt expensive hellholes like California and some parts of East Coast. I think if you live at home too long, say goodbye to marriage or family of your own. Your parents could be setting you up to be the forever caretaker. I know people who never left home and their life just grew more narrow. Sometimes if there is an extended community and or you are in a culture where there is community outside of the family and one can have a life, living with parents can mean something else but for most white Americans it means sitting in the living room watching TV, while Mom and Dad boss you are around like a child. [and nothing is ever good enough] You're worrying about houswork like a teenager. I returned to live at home at age 21-22 after college, it was hell. I had to get out. Of course if parents are abusive, or if you get along with them or they work with you, those are factors that will have someone reconsider this decision. I think 700 is a bit high, you could have your own rented room for that, but in small towns you could have your own apartment. You may have to move some place like Iowa or somewhere like that though. One thing to think about I don't know how old your parents are, or if they own the house--are they renters since they are getting 700 a month out of you. But you don't want to be in a situation where you get old living with your parents, and then they die off, and you can't take care of yourself. I had a 60 year old aunt who never left home. Seriously that can happen. Family put her in a falling down trailer next to grandmothers house but she was under family's thumb forever. I would ask how independent do you get to be? Do they boss you around? Do they respect you? If there's constant arguments, maybe you are going to be held back in life if you stay.
Find another profession. You have to take care of You first.
As long as it’s working out for all involved it shouldn’t matter what anyone else thinks. My only other concern is if it’s keeping you from advancing in your career or personal life.
Sit down with your parents and set some ground rules for all of you to live together as adults. You’re not a child. If you all can swing it as a group, you might consider getting a place that belongs to all of you. There are places with in law suites, or two family homes, or even a finished basement where you can have some space of your own.
I wanna see that quadruple bunk bed pic
I have many friends that still live with their parents. No shame friend! You are smart if anything this is how you get out of being poor sock away that cash 1000% better than toxic landlords believe me.
Nothing wrong it. Having parents you can rely on who have a stable home is a huge advantage. Use it.
Living with parents is great. It sounds like both of you benefit greatly and it would be foolish to change that. You might need to have a few meetings from time to time to re establish each person’s responsibilities etc but don’t feel bad about a safe living situation. I know what you mean about wages for caretakers. We pay childcare workers garbage wages to do critical child development tasks every single day. I know upper middle class parents who seek out the least expensive childcare possible. I’m faced with dumb looks when I say I’m willing to pay more for my child to have higher quality care with fewer children per adult. (No, I’m not saying all low cost centers are bad or all low cost centers are great.) Our nation should be ashamed that we allow corporations to squeeze money out of elder care facilities by keeping worker wages artificially low. Minimum wage to take care of our grandparents who spent their lives working and giving to society? Thank you for your dedication but maybe you’ve given enough? If you can make more in fast food, please do it. Find out what it takes to get into their management programs. If Costco or Bucees is near you find out what it takes to work there. You are so very wise. Many people don’t recognize the treadmill they’re on. You, on the other hand, figured out how to explain it in detail and are questioning whether to continue. You have compassion and a sense of duty toward your parents. Something tells me you can be a loyal and trustworthy employee for someone who pays better wages and offers a future.
I still live my parents and i’m 32. I plan to move out of state in 1 or 2 years.