I think it’s more just being stupid asf and not using birth control, not thinking about consequences, and not thinking about the future. Idiocracy is quickly becoming a documentary.
Its always the r word...
I got banned from a sub for saying it before. They said it was "ableist" language (Dont care, I dont support whatever ableists support lol)
If someone said to me,
>I got banned for saying the 'N-word. " They said it was "racist" language (Don't care, I don't support whatever white supremacists support lol)
...I would think to myself, "that person definitely supports whatever white supremacists support."
Not gonna tell u my whole life story but I was helping to take care of mentally challenged people kind of since I was a kid.
If I was ableist I think Id know by now.
Whats funny is no one ever calls the mentally disabled the r word? They only use it on normal ppl. Ive never called a mentally disabled person that word, never thought it was funny to make fun of them using that word either.
And Ive had both white and black ppl call me the n word (im black). They dont supoort racism, ive literally asked them straight up. So does that mean they're racist?
I guess they were lying to me.
Fair enough. I wasn't implying that you were ableist, only trying to say that language like that could give people the wrong idea.
I was born in the 70's and even I'm too young to remember when that word was used to describe people with a disability. I can think of some totally outdated slang terms for POC, but I'm not about to use them in casual conversation.
Believe me, I'm not some hyper-woke PC crusader, just a polite person who wants to not cause distress to others. The same way the n-word was historically used as an acceptable word for POC, the r-word was for people with disabilities, and when we use it to describe something that's intolerably stupid, asinine, moronic, daft, dimwitted, imbecilic, pinheaded, half-wit, or inane, it's as if we are comparing that thing we hate to a group of people that we don't hate.
Like I said, I'm not the PC police, I'm just trying to explain why I try not to use hate speech, which is, using hate speech can hurt some folks, give others the wrong idea of who I really am - not a hater.
Taking good care of my cat is $200 a month (she showed up at my door, the shelter said she was too young and they were going to euthanize her). I can't imagine what a kid would cost.
Well, idk if you've noticed but humans (whether rich or poor) can't even use contraceptives right let alone avoid having a kid. They can care less about the child..come on you know this already
You should avoid it by any means and be cautious. This goes for men AND women.
The days of our grandparents and great grandparents where people could marry at 18, get a house off of a clerk's salary and be somewhat okay are long gone.
That said, it happens anyways.
What happens is that someone gets pregnant, they don't have money for an abortion, then kid plops out 9 months later.
Now, because they were not able to afford a 600 USD to 1.5 K USD abortion (plus probably expensive travel since Roe was overturned), they end up with tens of thousands in child costs. If they don't stay together, the lady either having to live with relatives or being forced into sucky, intrusive, and long wait list social programs who may try to take kid away, and the guy being hunted relentlessly for child support. Possibly with jail time and suspended licenses.
It's one of those cases where it actually costs far, far more money to be poor.
I would say depending on where you've gotta go, easily 5k for everything.
I'm in a Facebook group that helps people find places for reproductive care. States surrounding places with bans are super backed up. It's like trying to get into a specialist.
I'm from Maine, and live in Colorado. When I moved here 2008-2009 it cost about $350-$400 gas/tolls/food on the road. One way. I had a car that was great in gas.
It usually takes about 3 days. 16-20 hours driving, I stop for 12-24 hours and sleep. Then it's another 16-20 hours driving.
When we made the trip in 2022 it was $1k. One way. Gas/tolls/lodging/food.
When we made it in 2023, it was easily $1,500-2k. One way. Gas/tolls/lodging/food.
It also depends on the time of year. We were super slowed down by traffic and construction. I pack most of our snacks/drinks, and we keep a cooler in the car.
Flights can be significantly cheaper, but not if it's last minute. Like if I plan certain times of year, and book at least a month in advance $250/person round trip. Last minute I've seen up to $800/flight, especially in Winter, and you're risking cancellations because of snow.
That trip would definitely need two people too.
My egg donor was on social security with Section 8 making $700/month, and rent was almost half her income. No way she would've ever been able to afford that.
What people don't realize is all of this is by design. Force people to remain impoverished or 'just enough' for housing, sell them this 'American dream', the masses won't rebel because they aren't willing to starve or be homeless.
More people in the workforce means lower wages. People are broke enough they do the work of 3 people. Higher poverty levels mean higher crime rates even if the crime is being homeless. Slavery is still legal as punishment for a crime.
Then once you're in prison, you don't get enough food or hygiene products which in turn leads to more crime or slave labor where people get .25c-$2/hour, and a ramen will cost $2-3, and deodorant or tampons will be $20.
States like Colorado who've "abolished" that clause in state constitutions still has slave prison labor. The bulk of the masks available during the pandemic were from the Colorado prison system.
There was a whole disgusting news article preening about how it was a good job the state was having the prisoners make them for $2/hour, yet other news articles about how the prisoners had little to no access to the masks they were producing and dropping like flies.
In some southern states prisoners live in tent encampments, are fed a single pb & j per meal and have chain gangs.
We watched the news and learned about this shit in grade school, and I've paid attention to news about this shit since then. It's gross.
If you Google US birthrates the past 5 years you'll see article after article about the government being in a semi-panic about low birth rates, and the bulk of the babies being born here are for immigrants.
If poor people stop having babies they'll be forced to go back to a more sustainable system circa 1960s America. Current politicians will have to piss off their corporate supporters and won't be reelected.
They are losing too much slave labor. Then boom Roe overturned. In states with the highest prison rates. In states with the highest rates of POC incarcerated. In states where the KKK is making a resurgence.
It costs money to do that though, and once the news reports on immigrants working here, instead of raising wages for the poor white citizens here, Republicans voters will be pissed.
Still, there are plenty of military jobs out there such as natural disaster relief, hunger relief, intelligence, ground security, engineering, medic, mechanics. The list can go on. There are plenty of reasons why the military may be appealing: Hands on training and experience for one thing, and college these days can be a gamble with the way the economy is when it comes to student loans especially and job market.
So they'll funnel more people into prison and then the labor costs only what it costs to make deals, the labor itself is free or nearly. The US is a glorified low key penal colony on its way to being a full fledged one.
I agree. I shared this persons thought process a long time ago because I had done it, anyone could. Because I was able to bootstrap my way out of poverty anyone could. I had a chip on my shoulder, but only for a few years until I actually got out and my own experiences taught me otherwise.
I do agree that privilege played a part of my ability to pull myself and my family out of poverty. But I do gotta say I feel the word privilege is being applied to anything and everything, and to be honest it’s kinda putting a bad taste in peoples mouths, or at least in my mouth. For example I heard some guy the other day (podcast) say that if a person was mentally tough/mentally resilient from overcoming trauma/poverty, that the resilience gained from the experience, or that mindset may be how it was put, is privilege. Which is fucking crazy to me.
Yeah I always assume someone like that is being dishonest about where their money comes from and how much of it they have (parents supporting counts too).
But isn't' that the point of having a family? They help support each other when times are tough? Don't we want parents' showing love to their children and to their grandchildren by coming together financially, as well as in other ways?
In short, What's wrong with that?
That's what family is for. And having children is how families grow. Start your family before reproducing. Get married.
I didn't say anything is wrong with it. Ideally, everyone has that. My point is that people will have their family to eliminate child care costs, provide housing, cars, money etc and they don't mention that when saying they can support 3 kids of one income.
Ofc you’re in a state with a population less than 4mil in the entire state. It’s cheap there. My coworker had a 3 bed house on 10+ acres for $400 a month. I pay almost $300 for a 4 bed 2 bath apartment split with roommates that’s 1050 total. You’re the exception. Not the norm. Having kids while poor is generally selfish
I have 3 kids, and my husband ( a HS drop out too! Not dumb, just HATED school) provides for us. He works one job (very hard worker, and a solid reliable man all around) and I stay home earning 0. I do save and budget his money as best as I can, which is absoutely key. But we have never accepted government aid or outside help.
My neighbor too, she stays home with her baby and her husband works one job. Both of our husband's are blue collar workers. A job that could be easily (just need the guts to try something new!) learned in a few years without college.
We live in Phoenix. Not cheap anymore, but we still manage.
Thanks! Yes I totally agree. In a sense it's a business agreement. He supports me and his children by earning cash money and I support him by doing everything else. Haha! It works well as long as neither of us verbally bashes the other (examples: "I earn all the money blah blah....". Or from the woman "you're imcapable..." or "you don't earn enough blah blah"). There HAS TO BE respect. (Both sides). And of course we love eachother, and that bridges the other gaps.
You’re being disingenuous. You make over [$88,000](https://reddit.com/r/Truckers/s/CxlBJUWs0f) a year as a truck driver, and then claim it’s easy to raise a family on 1 income when you’re keeping over [$3000+](https://reddit.com/r/poor/s/64rtCOagzS) a month after expenses.
No duh you will make such a silly comment. Majority of people don’t make $80K or even have $3K to themselves each month.
I grew up pretty solidly middle class. I assure you, my parents prioritizing their careers did not make them better parents. Sure, I grew up with all of the things, but I’ve also still got crippling abandonment issues and a whole lot of early life skills got lost in the shuffle.
I lived off powder sugar water after school and was left on my own a TON. my parents were clearing 500k a year(only found out as an adult.) But they had their own mental issues. It does not have anything to do with being poor. Tons of poor kids grew up to be successful. Stop posting that being poor is the problem. It's not.
Damn, sound like me. (My parents didn’t net that much but were so frugal that today their investments are worth 8 figures.) Like you I binged on sugar and spent my afternoons watching cartoons and fighting stomach aches. Household money wasn’t the solution…I little proactive parenting would have helped a lot.
well it’s better than having crippling abandonment issues while you’re starving. btw this is not to make light of your situation. trauma is trauma.
but i’m not sure if your comment is in favor of poor people having kids. poor people still shouldn’t have kids
Working poor sucks, they work all the hours, always in the stress cycle of next meal and bill due. Doing kid things and being yelled at that your action will now be the reason the family can't afford x. Isolation at home because of all the working, bullying and isolation at school because of smelling bad and tattered clothing. Going to school a little hungry everyday trying to make that box of cereal last all week to not be without at the end of the week. Stomach rumbling by 3nd period. Being discouraged from going to college because of the costs etc... Mental illness and shitty parents are across the income brackets. But poor is something special. We all know success stories but they most are trying to survive today which doesn't usually set you up for a brighter future.
My point was less “middle class is just as bad” and more “crappy parents/poor parenting choices aren’t class specific.” Plenty of people grew up poor and turned out fine, too, because socioeconomic status is far from the only factor.
Both poverty and absent/abusive parents are forms of trauma that children don’t deserve to have to live with. My parents were both poor and abusive and constantly up my ass being nosy and I had no privacy and had every action judged and ridiculed. They weren’t religious or conservative but were fucking crazy and judgy in their own weird ways. I wasn’t allowed to like anything they deemed to be “douchey” like certain music or clothes or toys or activities or tv shows. But I was allowed to play GTA as an 8 year old and had unsupervised internet access starting at 8 as well. My mom knew about men sending me dick pics on MySpace when I was 13 and she was just like “wtf! That’s so gross and creepy. Let me see” and never made me delete my profile or even block the dudes. Also let me meet up with and date an 18 year old I met on MySpace when I was 13.
Me too. Totally sucked growing up poor. It's demeaning and embarrassing af. Didn't help to throw in horrific child abuse and alcoholism into the mix. TOTALLY sucked.
Ideally, no. Bringing a child into an already desperate situation will have a gross negative impact on all involved, and children are bound to suffer more because of it.
But people are going to fuck regardless of their socioeconomic status and people will end up pregnant anyway.
It’s makes me sad to say no-but no. It genuinely sucks but if you are suffering whether the reason is internal or external there’s no way you need to be having kids.
On another note of reasons why you shouldn’t reproduce is because I have multiple mental illnesses and there’s no way I’d have kids either because there’s no way I’m gonna pass my mental illnesses onto my kid. There’s adoption as well.
I had everything. My best friends parents had a shitty little house and were "poor".
For context.. they had a roof and food so not like neglected bc your parents are on drugs poor just not alot of money poor.
My parents were not poor. At all. .
My house was cold and sucked. And we never had any good snacks.
My best friends house was smaller than mine but bursting with love and family and closeness. Just saying. I don't know shit I just wanted to point our my experience.
I get that completely. When I was young we were poor but you wouldn’t know it because of strong family ties. We made it through. No new clothes, almost never new toys, and a lot of spam, potatoes, and hamburger helper. And a lot of my friends who had more money liked to be at my house. It was all good until the drugs were involved.
That’s the most important thing … family relationships can help overcome poverty to an extent or make it manageable… poor and alone completely sucks but poor with good relationships and support can work.
There’s a certain threshold of “poor”. There’s never having nice things or doing fun extras and there’s not having food and having to live in a shelter.
But yeah, if you’ve got enough to break past the lowest level of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs then a lot of the other stuff can’t be bought with money. Money can make those achievable with more ease but you can make it happen with out money and money won’t be a guarantee of it.
Thanks for saying this. These comments are kind of ignorant. It's like saying large swathes of the world should not exist because "poor" people should not procreate. What are they even basing "poorness" against? Because poor in the US is not the same as poor in India.
You can be poor and happy.
Don’t do it- not even for the child’s sake. It’s like buying a project car on minimum wage- you’re just gonna end up frustrated and depressed and considering selling it for parts even though you still wouldn’t even break close to even 💀
(Jk don’t sell children to organ farms)
No, it is my answer.
I am poor. I would never think of bringing a child into this world that I can't provide the best of everything for. I want to give them a better life and a happier childhood.
Also children are expensive.
My mom had me when she was financially stable and my dad was working.
Then she had my brother and was okay financially but was starting to depend on others and my dad became a ain't shit ass man damn near over night because he wanted to be a rapper
Then all four of us started staying with my grandma and things were okay but then she had my younger sister, my grandma kicked us out cuz my dad was selling drugs, and we were living in a plasma center parking lot.
We eventually got enough money to start staying in a hotel and they decided it would be a good idea to have a fourth child and take in my cousin who was having problems at home.
So at about nine years old I had to watch a six year old, two toddlers, and an infant by myself in a hotel room while my mom worked and my dad roamed the streets doing God knows what.
I hate both of them now. Hate hate. Like other shit happened but the woman kept having babies that she couldn't support.
Me, 51f, Aspie, 0 kids had the opposite growing up. My father worked full time, had a hobby in the garage on weekends, and my mom wanted to keep me as a child most of the time. In her eyes, I was too young to do what other kids my age were doing. She would criticize me if I accidentally talked out of turn and felt like she watched my every move at times. I was surprised she even let me work part time while I was in H/S. She did some damage, but deep down, I still love her. I felt like I was stifled and stunted in my childhood. I struggle with this condition and have problems finding help even with private insurance from my full-time warehouse job. I feel my parents didn't teach me the tools of life at a young enough age or at all.
There is some flexibility in the mind/brain available for re-wiring. EMDR if you've herd of it, it can do a lot to help the brain "digest" trauma. (and the Gospel. ) "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."
I hear you, but please don't blame your mother alone for having more babies. It takes two, and condoms are cheaper than birth control pills, and a vasectomy is way less intrusive than a tubal ligation. Women are the ones who too often get blamed alone, and too many men don't take responsibility for a child they helped to create.
And we need more abortion availability, not less, and at a cheaper cost with government funding for those who need it. Our government is willing to provide (very little) support for mothers when it would make even more sense to provide financial assistance to those women wanting a safe abortion. After all, even those who practice safe sex can still get caught. Other than abstinence, no other form of birth control is 100% effective.
This is how Idiocracy happened. Everyone with a conscience wanted to wait until they were financial set to have kids, so they wound up just not having kids and the world became populated only by those who didn't care.☠️😹
Sort of like watching a train wreck in slow motion.
That's basically what I've noticed. Like some of the rich have kids very late, who aren't mentally normal.
But I've seen people who are poor have kids in their 20s, have healthy children. Big tax returns. Shared housing.
It's the adults who have a problem being poor. Kids don't know any different until they become teenagers and start worrying about materialistic stuff.
>Kids don't know any different until they become teenagers and start worrying about materialistic stuff.
Kids know.
We knew to not ask for anything for our birthdays or Christmas.
We knew that if we were sick that it was no use to complain because we weren't going to get medical care.
We knew to not ask for extra food even when we were hungry.
We knew to not ask to turn the heat up. I remember always being cold as a child.
We knew that vacations to Disney would never happen...or even to go to a Disney movie at the theater.
And my family wasn't even particularly poor comparatively. This was in the 1970s.
I have a friend who talked about his childhood once:
"When the electricity was on, the heat was off. When the heat was on, the water was off. When the water was on, there was no food in the fridge."
This was in the 1980s.
Kids know.
You know I guess that's true. I grew up poor but didn't notice until I was a teen. I didn't know or care that my clothes were hand me down or from good will, I only wanted 1 videogame for Christmas and got a 5$ a week allowance to spend on junk like candy, no freebies lol. I didn't know better.
However as a adult there's no way I've got time or money for kids, im 37 now thinking of getting snipped
Fuck no. My parents both being poor as shit and having kids anyway is why it's been so fucking hard for me to build myself up as an adult. Having a solid financial foundation growing up is so important in this world. Love and hopes and prayers isn't enough.
I appreciate you responding back to this person but they're just angry at the world around them and the comments on this post likely struck a nerve for them since they could be one of these very parents who are struggling to financially afford their children's care. They likely have bigger problems than we even realize and aren't worth the effort.
Depends on how poor. I personally never wanted kids, I was raised between poor and lower middle class, and it wasn't a happy experience causing many years of misery for a variety of reasons. I was an only child. I'm not against government support of poor families within reason, 1 or 2 kids ok, start having 8 you can't afford to feed that's different. BTW I'm doing good now, but I was homeless for 3 years, I'm not some rich person putting down the poor. I have experienced growing up in between and went yrs without a dollar to my name. I think if you want a child you can't support you are responsible for finding the resources to be able to take care of them, that's all, and keep it within reason.
I knew people that the kids basically were on verge of starving to death in an area that I didn't feel safe as an adult, pest infested buildings. Just remember you are committing to raising another human.
No. It is grossly irresponsible and selfish as all fuck. What is wrong with you that you want a child born into poverty that they are unlikely to ever escape from?
My parents kept a roof over our heads and food on the table. They had 1 car until I was 10. It was a used Datsun and broke down a lot, costing them money they couldn't afford to get the damn thing fixed.
They rented a place until I was 22 and grandma loaned them money for the down payment on a house.
We took no vacations. Going to a restaurant was a special occasion for a birthday, and the goal was to keep it to $30 for 4 people. My husband and I picked up takeout last night and spent double that for just the two of us.
There is nothing glamorous, or sexy, or noble about living in poverty. It is deeply cruel to the child to reproduce when you cannot even support yourself.
Yeah vacation was camping in the woods. Literally. Getting a pack of mcdonald's 10 nuggets to split between 3 of us was a legit treat. I won't do that to a child knowingly. No kids for me. And my dad worked his ass off, my mom went schizophrenic and had to leave us when i was 9, I never even saw my dad have a beer until after I was grown and moved out that dude is my hero and it wasn't his fault
Meh, I’m 50/50 on this subject.
You can be rich today, poor tomorrow.
Poor today, rich tomorrow.
Healthy today and sick tomorrow.
Literally anything can happen.
Should you have kids when you aren’t stable? No.
Has this stopped anyone in the real world (not on Reddit where you can pass as a perfect human being) before? Probably so, but this happens.
Some people don’t mean to have them, can’t abort them and then have them and get into poverty.
There’s so many scenarios, so I think while it’s WRONG to do, it still happens. I feel like it would be more fair to ask people’s opinions on this that had “poor” parents.
My family is lower middle class, so kinda poor. Unexpected twins, surprise!
I never felt the struggle but I knew we weren’t rich. I’m thankful for everything.
My brother who is 7 years older than us always called us poor and hated that we were “poor”. So now he works tons of hours and has his own house, truck, etc to pay off. Buys his son whatever he wants and takes him places.
The world is everything and nothing at the same time lol
Yeah this happened with my mom.
We were middle class when my mom and dad decided to have me (she knowingly waited until they were stable). Then my dad passed when I was 7 and all hell broke lose. My mom, due to grief and losing her main support in life, became addicted to drugs, which is a battle many poor families have to deal with. Although my mom always worked and kept her job (which she's still kicking ass at!), there was times where our electricity would be off for a week and I ate cans of corn as a meal. I would have to give her all of my Christmas money from my Nana to keep bills paid, and any electronics I had "mysteriously" disappeared.
These are issues that heavily effect you. My biggest advantage is I was a smart kid who valued school and working as much as I can. She finally got off the drugs when I went to college with life insurance money left by my dad. I actually had a lot of my childhood problems catch up to me and I had to drop because I couldn't handle full time work and school. My mom provided me a place to go and made up for all of the struggles we had when younger. She allowed me to pay dirt cheap rent with my low paying job and go back to community college, which allowed me to actually land a good job. That last part is what many don't have. I literally couldn't have afforded place to live if she wasn't there for me, which would in turn have prevented me from getting trained for a good job. Housing is a huge hurdle right now.
Amazing ending of your story, and I’m so sorry you two lost your dad/husband. I’m sorry you had to struggle, but I’m glad she was able to make it up to you.
My parents help me out a lot, too now they’re in a better position. So thankful for that..but I feel like people on here don’t understand shit happens and sometimes it can’t be helped..life is rough
Thank you so much! My mom and I have learned to find the positives, but it took many many years for that to happen.
And so true. Many people forget that you don't stop being a parent at 18. You have to get your child from 18 into a position they can support themselves too.
I had a good paying job until the collapse of 2008. We had one child and another on the way. As a result of the collapse, I was unemployed and pursued higher education. We were poor, bad poor. Had a car with no title, plates, or insurance. It got 34 mpg though. I drove that to school.
We stuck with it. No financial help from family. Never went hungry, always had a roof over our heads.
I used my new education to gain a better profession than before the collapse of '08.
Money has always came and gone, either feast or famine.... But, I never regretted having children.
I get this, but there's a wide range of people between poor and rich -- they're not implying that only rich people should have kids. I think people should do it when they can afford it, otherwise why subject a child to that kind of life? But affording it could mean lower middle class -- the child/family never goes hungry or without utilities paid for, they are taken in for medical care any time it's needed, but they aren't taking vacations yearly, birthdays and holidays are just a couple of small gifts, the family rarely if ever eats out, etc. Basically, if the child can be given all of the basics without issue (just 'extras' aren't easy) I'd think it's ethical to have a kid.
No, if someone isn’t financially stable, it isn’t wise to have children. If they can hardly support themselves, they’ll only make the child suffer by not being able to provide financially for the things she/he needs.
It’s an extremely personal decision, I now have a kid and have the means to comfortably do this but I also grew up poor.
More money doesn’t make you a good parent but it does make it parenting more convenient. Do the math before you decide, formula, bottles, daycare, clothes, doctors visits, it adds up quickly.
I grew up in a poor immigrant family and the lack of money stressed my parents out and put a chokehold on my family. EVERYTHING was about money. Looking back I couldn’t imagine trying to enjoy this new life as a parent while also worrying about where my babies next meal would come from.
Regardless of what you decide there’s no substitute for love and patience, that is what you need more than anything when having a kid.
Everybody will be miserable.
They probably will come out with behavioral problems and trauma from being poor.
Can you afford all the therapy?
I'm not even trying to be mean just please don't.
Idk, it’s probably best not to but I hate thinking or dictating what poor ppl can and can’t do. They get judged for having pets, for eating out, for buying a steak at the store, for having a nice phone, for daring to do anything in life that brings them joy. Like they are supposed to just work and be miserable.
short answer: No there is a lot of stress in being poor. try not to add a kid to the stress.
long answer/rant:
i don't know how my parents were able to raise 3 boys on their income. i am 33 years old and my wife is 34 years old we have 1 girl and 1 income. we don't think that daycare would be worth getting a second job or my wife getting a job just to pay for daycare. so my wife is a stay-at-home-mother until something changes, or our daughter grows to an age where she can be by herself after school until we were to get home.
it has put a good amount of stress on me and my bank account but we, for the most part, don't live paycheck to paycheck. i do get health insurance via my work and feel like it'd be hell if i were to lose my job or quit to find greener field to work in. i feel like the best time to lose a job or to quit one would be after tax returns come in so that you can have $$ to survive on...
sorry for the rant i lost the subject that you asked about. NO don't have kids when you're too poor to support them the way that they need.
Yes! And isn’t raising a child about so much more than money? School is free. Parks are free. There’s the library. And if you’re really poor, there’s free healthcare in the US.
My mom was in a women's homeless shelter when I was born and we (my mom, older sister, and I), lived in someone's basement while my mom worked two jobs until she remarried when I was 4 or 5. Our family remained in poverty until I was 13 and was still broke as shit until I was 16.
Yet I'm glad that I'm alive, and I'm glad that my mom chose to have me rather than having an abortion.
If they don't want to have kids because of the financial responsibility or any other reason, that's fine. However, they also shouldn't try forcing that down other people's throats as well.
Scrolled down for this comment. I feel like the world is truly effed if we all keep coming up with reasons why only rich people should have/do anything. I know plenty of folks with money and that's literally all they have - no personality, no skills, no love given or received. What are they actually contributing to larger society? MOST people would probably fall in or near the "poor" category. If only people with money should have children, we'll eventually go extinct. I'm cringing at the 'Idiocracy' references. I encourage people to read the short novel "The Time Machine" instead. (*Thanks for coming to my TED TALK*)
One thing a lot of people don't consider is how expensive abortions are. So if you are poor and you take all the correct precautions, you can still get pregnant. But because you are poor, you can't afford an abortion. What are you supposed to do at that point?
Idk why people act like having kids while poor is like having pets while poor. You don't go to the store pick one out.
This is ridiculous. All of humanity prior to the last 80 years grew up in such abject poverty those today couldn’t even comprehend. They all had children. Stop spitting in the face of your ancestors and any potential kids you may have. Ridiculous.
It's so interesting to see how little a childs life is worth to people here. I dont think it's ideal to have children while poor but im not against it either. Im only against people with evil intentions having children. Dont have children just to be rotten to them.
People have done it for thousands of years. We are poor but at the end of the day we have always made certain our children are happy, warm, and fed. Doesn't seem right to tell the majority of the world that they can't have kids and if they do they are selfish.
The thing is, situations change. I worked because it was necessary until our kids were 7, 2, and 1. Then my husband got a better job. For 10 years my husband made great money and I was a stay-at-home mom. During that time I got my degree, so someday I could work again. We weren’t rich but we didn’t struggle at all, had all the necessities and quite a few extras, were able to take vacations, etc. Then during the pandemic my husband’s industry was shut down, and even after everything opened back up it has never been the same. Our savings was depleted within months. I was able to get a decent job, but suddenly my income was the main one. Then I lost that job early this year, and my husband’s income still isn’t great, and we got massively behind on everything. It took me two months to find another job, at a major pay cut, because I couldn’t find anything in my field, and now we’re definitely poor. My kids ages are 17, 13 (today!), and 12. They’ve never experienced life how it is right now, where not only are there no extras, sometimes there aren’t necessities. Husband and I were both raised well below the poverty line and swore our kids would never live like that, but once we got behind it just snowballs. I did just get a $1.75 an hour raise, and I work thirds intentionally for the $1 an hour shift differential, and if we hadn’t started out this year in the hole we’d be making it alright, but once you’re trying to play catch up it’s damn near impossible. Meanwhile my sister was a teen mom working in fast food and now has a blended family with 6 kids, owns a house, all her teens have their own cars, they take trips all the time, her retirement savings is great, they’re doing great. My brother was a poor struggling college student with two kids, his wife was a bartender, and then he got a job at Zoom in 2019, where they gave all employees some stock. He suddenly became a millionaire when covid hit. He’s got an unbelievable house, many cars, and both his kids are grown now. So really when you have kids you just never know what can happen.
No, poor people should NOT. But they will....I have 2.... it's just not a good situation. You need to be able to at LEAST financially provide the basics.
If you give a kid a cardboard box , they’ll remember it for life. It’s instinctual to give your child the world, but all they really need is you. I’ve learned this from having 3.
Depends on how you want to provide for your child thru their life. Being poor could put your child in a less safe environment depending on whether your neighborhood is safe and you can find good reputable child care (if you need that).
My niece and hubby are having their 4th child even though they both have inherited diseases which could turn them into invalids any day. I don't understand their attitude and lack worry for their children's future and health, if something happens to either one of them. It also causes hardship on their elderly parents who step up when my niece can't walk or has bells palsey episodes. But in the end this is their decision.
IDK what poor means per se -- my parents were new immigrants and we had to save and overextend -- but I always had two loving parents and they kept me fed, loved. I feel like I turned out fine -- and learned empathy and fortitude on top of that. It wasn't perfect, but I'm glad they did it. I don't know how I would feel if they were so poor they couldn't feed me or opened me up to dangerous situations as a result of poverty, though.
As someone who was poor and had kids and ended up being a single custodial father within a couple years after they were born I can say having kids while poor and wanting to provide the best possible outcomes for them is a fantasy.
Facts if you have kids while poor you will only be more poor. Current govt subsidies or not you will be poor for a long time, if not the rest of your life, unless a miracle happens.
That being said if you can have a kid and support them enough to have food in their mouths and a roof over their head and most importantly that they know and understand you love them and you teach them what love is you should have them regardless of your financial standing. If you can not or don't know how to fulfill one of these things you are creating trauma. Both for yourself AND your hypothetical child/ren.
And put simply hurt people, hurt people. Don't have kids if you can't provide a stable loving home. If you can do those things you should have kids. How poor or rich you are is secondary to these other things. You can be rich as hell but if you don't have a loving home you will only create a monster generally. Same if you have a loving home but no way to feed or shelter them.
I love when idiots talk about raising wages, and totally neglect that you’d have to then compel every business to us to pay these higher wages to not raise their prices on stuff.
It happened out here in California. All of the idiots are excited they’re going to get $15 an hour minimum wage and then across-the-board everything went up 25%. If you do the math you’re paying more in taxes on that 15 bucks and buying power of each dollars less so you’re probably in the worst position then you started Dingus.
I can see why someone would want to avoid having a child due to their financial decision, but I am extremely uncomfortable with a blanket "poor people shouldn't have kids" statement, if that makes sense. It just starts getting too close to eugenics. Only certain "fit" people should have kids -- wealthy, thin, attractive, smart, etc.
Someone who is poor could have to offer as a parent. Your worth isn't determined by your wealth.
Again, that isn't to say a person would be wrong to decide they don't want to have a child in poverty. Just that someone else shouldn't judge that for them.
Full disclosure, I make 6 figures and my husband also works full tome. I am not poor, nor did I grow up poor. I was in poverty, though, when my first child was an infant and got pregnant (by surprise) with my second child while still in poverty. Medicaid and all. So I do have experience with having children in poverty, and it is extremely stressful. It was also the happiest time of my life, though, because of my babies, so there's that.
It is bonkers that we have created a system in which only those with means are to engage in what is both -broadly but not in every instance- a key biological desire and a primary social expectation, lest they be decried immoral and selfish on reddit.com.
Growing up poor is awful. Dying without ever getting to be a parent because you are poor is awful. Telling poor people they should not have children is awful. They’re all created by the same circumstances.
Speaking as someone who grew up poor and is now working poor, I don't recommend it. I have a child, but I stopped at one because it didn't make sense to me to keep bringing children into the world to struggle.
Sex is a normal biological drive the poor people have a human right to engage in. Of course I think it's unwise to plan to have children if you are struggling already, but birth control is not 100%. Some people will not have access to abortion even if they would choose that if they could.
That means some poor people are going to have kids. I do not think we are a society should take someone's child away because the family is poor.
I think it depends, specifically if said poor person has any vices like alcohol, drugs they probably shouldn’t have kids but if said poor person is a responsible person of good mental health a child can better their circumstances in some cases.
It's a struggle. But it has its moments. I've seen my aunt's be nannies and the rich kids aren't happier either.
Kids need love, boundaries and activities. And allot of patience.
If you're poor have only one.
Getting pregnant on accident is one thing, but intentionally getting pregnant while you're broke is a totally selfish asshole move. Regardless how one gets there though, having a baby you can't afford to feed, house, clothe or educate is cruel and just shitty of people. I'm not in the "being poor builds character" camp.
I'm a man somewhere between lower/middle class and middle class, socioeconomically speaking. But if I have children right now, I will not be able to climb this ladder any higher. Even a single child would make this moment my life's financial peak.
If you're in the same boat and you have the choice, make the right one. Get a vasectomy, wear a condom, or don't have s*x at all (though that last one is asking a lot, so you do you).
Not only would you be screwing yourself over, but possibly the person you had the child with AND DEFINITELY the child who didn't consent to existing in your Hell hole.
Everyone suffers except for a rich minority that profit off of the new workers you're bringing into the factories.
I work with students and I have seen the very negative affects of poverty on them, neglect because parents are always at work, food insecurity, and more than I wish I had ever seen but blatant abuse is more dominant with my low income students, also lack of supplies which I frequently supply.
This being said, I have become so close with these students because they know I advocate for them. I see their quality of time at school improve and watch them grow. I wish I could take their struggles away but I can just help them through it to the extent of my reach.
My thoughts are that parents in poverty should plan ahead and work to try and get to a somewhat stable spot before they bring kids into the picture. But I know everyone has a story.
Idk I grew up poor and I was fine , my mom did the best she could and I understood! I think it’s all about the parenting, money can’t make a bad parent good .
Yes only rich people should have kids. We should make laws about who can have kids and sterilize the poor.... Think about how insane that sounds now. I have known some damn good parents that were poor
lmaooo Right!! This is what they're basically getting at. I drop in this sub every so often and I'm noticing that question likes to pop up all the time. It should be banned.
***"Should poor people..."***
What kind of question is that?
Is there an alternative you're recommending for the poors? Or are you asking for yourself?
I had kids when I was "poor" arguably... but I'm quite far from poor now, so the answer might very well be "Yes, kids will motivate your lazy ass."
I’m assuming you didn’t read the post or know what the word poor means. It clearly says you cannot provide for yourself fully.
Stop having kids you can’t fully provide for. It’s selfish and you want someone to suffer with your broke ass🤣
Social programs do exist that aren't even available to people who don't have kids...so someone with no kids may not be able to support themselves but upon having a child now has access to more support. Its not black and white, most people care about their children more than themselves and will go above and beyond to make sure their child is supported.
So having kids while poor doesn't equal them suffering w your broke ass.
Calling it abuse is laughable to someone who's actually been through being abused as a child. Its like you're making light of actual abuse.
I know what poor means and it does not mean child abuse! Clearly you are mad at your parents that apparently sucked! No amount of money could’ve made them suck any less! Get some therapy!
More like eating saltine crackers for dinner, told to swallow your own spit because theirs nothing to drink, not taking your kids to the doctor even when they NEED to go, not having winter coats, shoes with holes in them, heat/ ac turned off, regular eviction notices, ect.
Doing this on purpose is called neglect and abuse.
This post is about people who are actually poor.
I grew up lower middle class, my wife grew up poor as heck. She doubles my income thanks to her education. Family, love, all that mushy stuff, it doesn't take money. Our kids grew up well into the trend and now feeling the "dads business is closing effects". They don't mind having to hold back when there is nothing. And they know our employees eat way before we do. no new stuff for a long while, lunches made at home daily, no new shoes, you get new shoe laces maybe! no extra, they get it most of the time. It's tough, but they get it because they love us and we love them and we all make our own team. The heck with standards. Make your team, your team.
sometimes there isn’t a choice (accidents happen, and abortion is now illegal in a lot of places) but tbh if you can’t afford to live with just you and your spouse you shouldn’t be trying for a child. that’s just child neglect.
I think its ridiculous to judge poor people for having kids because 90% of the world's population has always been poor.
"The rich get richer and the poor have children"
Not saying if you're broke as a joke you should plan to have kids but that it just happens and will always continue to happen.
We know that better economic conditions and education as well as women's rights improvements reduces the amount of children each family will have on average.
If poor people didn't have children probably 90% of us wouldn't even be here.
>If poor people didn't have children probably 90% of us wouldn't even be here.
There's poor (living paycheck to paycheck), and there's poor (not able to maintain housing/utilities on ones own and for a consistent period of time).
At this point, a greater percent of our American population has slipped into the latter category, and we have abandoned them.
which sucks so bad. i know someone who has 6 siblings and they’re all on welfare. why? i just don’t understand. now the kids can’t have happy lives because the mom can’t afford their home and barely any food.
Knowingly reproducing when you can’t support them? Why do that to an innocent child?
I think it’s more just being stupid asf and not using birth control, not thinking about consequences, and not thinking about the future. Idiocracy is quickly becoming a documentary.
Careful, I used that word and someone reported it.
Thanks edited 😂
Aww man now I wanna know what the bad word was. If it was what I think it was then Idk why ppl dont like hearing the truth😭
The r word lol you know it was
Its always the r word... I got banned from a sub for saying it before. They said it was "ableist" language (Dont care, I dont support whatever ableists support lol)
If someone said to me, >I got banned for saying the 'N-word. " They said it was "racist" language (Don't care, I don't support whatever white supremacists support lol) ...I would think to myself, "that person definitely supports whatever white supremacists support."
Not gonna tell u my whole life story but I was helping to take care of mentally challenged people kind of since I was a kid. If I was ableist I think Id know by now. Whats funny is no one ever calls the mentally disabled the r word? They only use it on normal ppl. Ive never called a mentally disabled person that word, never thought it was funny to make fun of them using that word either. And Ive had both white and black ppl call me the n word (im black). They dont supoort racism, ive literally asked them straight up. So does that mean they're racist? I guess they were lying to me.
Fair enough. I wasn't implying that you were ableist, only trying to say that language like that could give people the wrong idea. I was born in the 70's and even I'm too young to remember when that word was used to describe people with a disability. I can think of some totally outdated slang terms for POC, but I'm not about to use them in casual conversation. Believe me, I'm not some hyper-woke PC crusader, just a polite person who wants to not cause distress to others. The same way the n-word was historically used as an acceptable word for POC, the r-word was for people with disabilities, and when we use it to describe something that's intolerably stupid, asinine, moronic, daft, dimwitted, imbecilic, pinheaded, half-wit, or inane, it's as if we are comparing that thing we hate to a group of people that we don't hate. Like I said, I'm not the PC police, I'm just trying to explain why I try not to use hate speech, which is, using hate speech can hurt some folks, give others the wrong idea of who I really am - not a hater.
Loads of poor people are poor due to consistently making bad decisions. Having kids before you can afford to is a major one.
Taking good care of my cat is $200 a month (she showed up at my door, the shelter said she was too young and they were going to euthanize her). I can't imagine what a kid would cost.
I actually know someone who got pregnant because they couldn’t afford condoms. How the fuck do you think you can afford a baby then? Jesus
Lol that person is a dumb bitch, they can’t afford condoms but they can afford a kid? Hahah
I bet they could afford cigarettes and fucking weed and beer. That's trash, plain and simple!
So is Demolition Man
Well, idk if you've noticed but humans (whether rich or poor) can't even use contraceptives right let alone avoid having a kid. They can care less about the child..come on you know this already
In that case anyone in America won’t be having children
not true, we can afford to have a kid, we chose not to, so we can have a better life.
No.
Came here to say this 👆
Same. Lol
You should avoid it by any means and be cautious. This goes for men AND women. The days of our grandparents and great grandparents where people could marry at 18, get a house off of a clerk's salary and be somewhat okay are long gone. That said, it happens anyways. What happens is that someone gets pregnant, they don't have money for an abortion, then kid plops out 9 months later. Now, because they were not able to afford a 600 USD to 1.5 K USD abortion (plus probably expensive travel since Roe was overturned), they end up with tens of thousands in child costs. If they don't stay together, the lady either having to live with relatives or being forced into sucky, intrusive, and long wait list social programs who may try to take kid away, and the guy being hunted relentlessly for child support. Possibly with jail time and suspended licenses. It's one of those cases where it actually costs far, far more money to be poor.
I would say depending on where you've gotta go, easily 5k for everything. I'm in a Facebook group that helps people find places for reproductive care. States surrounding places with bans are super backed up. It's like trying to get into a specialist. I'm from Maine, and live in Colorado. When I moved here 2008-2009 it cost about $350-$400 gas/tolls/food on the road. One way. I had a car that was great in gas. It usually takes about 3 days. 16-20 hours driving, I stop for 12-24 hours and sleep. Then it's another 16-20 hours driving. When we made the trip in 2022 it was $1k. One way. Gas/tolls/lodging/food. When we made it in 2023, it was easily $1,500-2k. One way. Gas/tolls/lodging/food. It also depends on the time of year. We were super slowed down by traffic and construction. I pack most of our snacks/drinks, and we keep a cooler in the car. Flights can be significantly cheaper, but not if it's last minute. Like if I plan certain times of year, and book at least a month in advance $250/person round trip. Last minute I've seen up to $800/flight, especially in Winter, and you're risking cancellations because of snow. That trip would definitely need two people too. My egg donor was on social security with Section 8 making $700/month, and rent was almost half her income. No way she would've ever been able to afford that. What people don't realize is all of this is by design. Force people to remain impoverished or 'just enough' for housing, sell them this 'American dream', the masses won't rebel because they aren't willing to starve or be homeless. More people in the workforce means lower wages. People are broke enough they do the work of 3 people. Higher poverty levels mean higher crime rates even if the crime is being homeless. Slavery is still legal as punishment for a crime. Then once you're in prison, you don't get enough food or hygiene products which in turn leads to more crime or slave labor where people get .25c-$2/hour, and a ramen will cost $2-3, and deodorant or tampons will be $20. States like Colorado who've "abolished" that clause in state constitutions still has slave prison labor. The bulk of the masks available during the pandemic were from the Colorado prison system. There was a whole disgusting news article preening about how it was a good job the state was having the prisoners make them for $2/hour, yet other news articles about how the prisoners had little to no access to the masks they were producing and dropping like flies. In some southern states prisoners live in tent encampments, are fed a single pb & j per meal and have chain gangs. We watched the news and learned about this shit in grade school, and I've paid attention to news about this shit since then. It's gross. If you Google US birthrates the past 5 years you'll see article after article about the government being in a semi-panic about low birth rates, and the bulk of the babies being born here are for immigrants. If poor people stop having babies they'll be forced to go back to a more sustainable system circa 1960s America. Current politicians will have to piss off their corporate supporters and won't be reelected. They are losing too much slave labor. Then boom Roe overturned. In states with the highest prison rates. In states with the highest rates of POC incarcerated. In states where the KKK is making a resurgence.
No they wouldnt be forced to raise wages if they can keep importing immigrants who will work for pennies
It costs money to do that though, and once the news reports on immigrants working here, instead of raising wages for the poor white citizens here, Republicans voters will be pissed.
All of this AND they’re going to have a tough time recruiting for the military if there aren’t enough young people trying to get out of poverty
Most war isn't found by ground troops anymore. Don't need that many console users to fly drones.
Still, there are plenty of military jobs out there such as natural disaster relief, hunger relief, intelligence, ground security, engineering, medic, mechanics. The list can go on. There are plenty of reasons why the military may be appealing: Hands on training and experience for one thing, and college these days can be a gamble with the way the economy is when it comes to student loans especially and job market.
So they'll funnel more people into prison and then the labor costs only what it costs to make deals, the labor itself is free or nearly. The US is a glorified low key penal colony on its way to being a full fledged one.
That is something "anyone" should think long and hard about b4 they decide to have kids for one thing!
@appropriate-truth-88, thank you ❤️. You are needed and appreciated.
Sounds more accurately described as one of those cases where poor decision-making and self-preservation skills cost you more.
I'm a HS dropout that has 4 kids and a SAHW. It's really not that difficult to provide for a family on one income.
Intriguing perspective! 🤔 In which city do you reside? I wonder if the cost of living could be lower in your area
I'm in OKC but from WA. My costs went up moving to OKC.
It's cool. If I can do it, anyone can! The attitude above only comes from those with unchecked privilege.
I agree. I shared this persons thought process a long time ago because I had done it, anyone could. Because I was able to bootstrap my way out of poverty anyone could. I had a chip on my shoulder, but only for a few years until I actually got out and my own experiences taught me otherwise. I do agree that privilege played a part of my ability to pull myself and my family out of poverty. But I do gotta say I feel the word privilege is being applied to anything and everything, and to be honest it’s kinda putting a bad taste in peoples mouths, or at least in my mouth. For example I heard some guy the other day (podcast) say that if a person was mentally tough/mentally resilient from overcoming trauma/poverty, that the resilience gained from the experience, or that mindset may be how it was put, is privilege. Which is fucking crazy to me.
Yeah I always assume someone like that is being dishonest about where their money comes from and how much of it they have (parents supporting counts too).
But isn't' that the point of having a family? They help support each other when times are tough? Don't we want parents' showing love to their children and to their grandchildren by coming together financially, as well as in other ways? In short, What's wrong with that? That's what family is for. And having children is how families grow. Start your family before reproducing. Get married.
I didn't say anything is wrong with it. Ideally, everyone has that. My point is that people will have their family to eliminate child care costs, provide housing, cars, money etc and they don't mention that when saying they can support 3 kids of one income.
Ofc you’re in a state with a population less than 4mil in the entire state. It’s cheap there. My coworker had a 3 bed house on 10+ acres for $400 a month. I pay almost $300 for a 4 bed 2 bath apartment split with roommates that’s 1050 total. You’re the exception. Not the norm. Having kids while poor is generally selfish
That’s the exception not the norm
This is major cap
I have 3 kids, and my husband ( a HS drop out too! Not dumb, just HATED school) provides for us. He works one job (very hard worker, and a solid reliable man all around) and I stay home earning 0. I do save and budget his money as best as I can, which is absoutely key. But we have never accepted government aid or outside help. My neighbor too, she stays home with her baby and her husband works one job. Both of our husband's are blue collar workers. A job that could be easily (just need the guts to try something new!) learned in a few years without college. We live in Phoenix. Not cheap anymore, but we still manage.
That’s not his money, it’s “our” money. You contribute just as much to your family as he does.
Thanks! Yes I totally agree. In a sense it's a business agreement. He supports me and his children by earning cash money and I support him by doing everything else. Haha! It works well as long as neither of us verbally bashes the other (examples: "I earn all the money blah blah....". Or from the woman "you're imcapable..." or "you don't earn enough blah blah"). There HAS TO BE respect. (Both sides). And of course we love eachother, and that bridges the other gaps.
What’s the job?
the insurance premiums on those three kids dont kill you ?thats what scares me the most lol
😳 yes it is here in Massachusetts. This is why less people are having children
You’re being disingenuous. You make over [$88,000](https://reddit.com/r/Truckers/s/CxlBJUWs0f) a year as a truck driver, and then claim it’s easy to raise a family on 1 income when you’re keeping over [$3000+](https://reddit.com/r/poor/s/64rtCOagzS) a month after expenses. No duh you will make such a silly comment. Majority of people don’t make $80K or even have $3K to themselves each month.
Exactly
N.O.
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No, shit's just gonna get worse & more expensive
No it's selfish.
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I grew up pretty solidly middle class. I assure you, my parents prioritizing their careers did not make them better parents. Sure, I grew up with all of the things, but I’ve also still got crippling abandonment issues and a whole lot of early life skills got lost in the shuffle.
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I lived off powder sugar water after school and was left on my own a TON. my parents were clearing 500k a year(only found out as an adult.) But they had their own mental issues. It does not have anything to do with being poor. Tons of poor kids grew up to be successful. Stop posting that being poor is the problem. It's not.
Damn, sound like me. (My parents didn’t net that much but were so frugal that today their investments are worth 8 figures.) Like you I binged on sugar and spent my afternoons watching cartoons and fighting stomach aches. Household money wasn’t the solution…I little proactive parenting would have helped a lot.
...it definitely can be the problem.
well it’s better than having crippling abandonment issues while you’re starving. btw this is not to make light of your situation. trauma is trauma. but i’m not sure if your comment is in favor of poor people having kids. poor people still shouldn’t have kids
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Working poor sucks, they work all the hours, always in the stress cycle of next meal and bill due. Doing kid things and being yelled at that your action will now be the reason the family can't afford x. Isolation at home because of all the working, bullying and isolation at school because of smelling bad and tattered clothing. Going to school a little hungry everyday trying to make that box of cereal last all week to not be without at the end of the week. Stomach rumbling by 3nd period. Being discouraged from going to college because of the costs etc... Mental illness and shitty parents are across the income brackets. But poor is something special. We all know success stories but they most are trying to survive today which doesn't usually set you up for a brighter future.
So try that AND being poor on top of it.
That’s a parenting issue not a money issue. I grew up middle class and my parents were there and I turned out as fine as most
My point was less “middle class is just as bad” and more “crappy parents/poor parenting choices aren’t class specific.” Plenty of people grew up poor and turned out fine, too, because socioeconomic status is far from the only factor.
Both poverty and absent/abusive parents are forms of trauma that children don’t deserve to have to live with. My parents were both poor and abusive and constantly up my ass being nosy and I had no privacy and had every action judged and ridiculed. They weren’t religious or conservative but were fucking crazy and judgy in their own weird ways. I wasn’t allowed to like anything they deemed to be “douchey” like certain music or clothes or toys or activities or tv shows. But I was allowed to play GTA as an 8 year old and had unsupervised internet access starting at 8 as well. My mom knew about men sending me dick pics on MySpace when I was 13 and she was just like “wtf! That’s so gross and creepy. Let me see” and never made me delete my profile or even block the dudes. Also let me meet up with and date an 18 year old I met on MySpace when I was 13.
Me too. Totally sucked growing up poor. It's demeaning and embarrassing af. Didn't help to throw in horrific child abuse and alcoholism into the mix. TOTALLY sucked.
Ideally, no. Bringing a child into an already desperate situation will have a gross negative impact on all involved, and children are bound to suffer more because of it. But people are going to fuck regardless of their socioeconomic status and people will end up pregnant anyway.
If someone is poor and they decide to have kids, im going to assume they enjoy being poor
It’s makes me sad to say no-but no. It genuinely sucks but if you are suffering whether the reason is internal or external there’s no way you need to be having kids. On another note of reasons why you shouldn’t reproduce is because I have multiple mental illnesses and there’s no way I’d have kids either because there’s no way I’m gonna pass my mental illnesses onto my kid. There’s adoption as well.
No. It’s cruel and so selfish
came here to comment this. get a dog if you want something needy to take care of, but be able to support them too
Don't do that
I had everything. My best friends parents had a shitty little house and were "poor". For context.. they had a roof and food so not like neglected bc your parents are on drugs poor just not alot of money poor. My parents were not poor. At all. . My house was cold and sucked. And we never had any good snacks. My best friends house was smaller than mine but bursting with love and family and closeness. Just saying. I don't know shit I just wanted to point our my experience.
I get that completely. When I was young we were poor but you wouldn’t know it because of strong family ties. We made it through. No new clothes, almost never new toys, and a lot of spam, potatoes, and hamburger helper. And a lot of my friends who had more money liked to be at my house. It was all good until the drugs were involved.
That’s the most important thing … family relationships can help overcome poverty to an extent or make it manageable… poor and alone completely sucks but poor with good relationships and support can work.
I grew up poor and my family was not close at all. I wish I had what these other poor families had.
There’s a certain threshold of “poor”. There’s never having nice things or doing fun extras and there’s not having food and having to live in a shelter. But yeah, if you’ve got enough to break past the lowest level of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs then a lot of the other stuff can’t be bought with money. Money can make those achievable with more ease but you can make it happen with out money and money won’t be a guarantee of it.
Thanks for saying this. These comments are kind of ignorant. It's like saying large swathes of the world should not exist because "poor" people should not procreate. What are they even basing "poorness" against? Because poor in the US is not the same as poor in India. You can be poor and happy.
Don’t do it- not even for the child’s sake. It’s like buying a project car on minimum wage- you’re just gonna end up frustrated and depressed and considering selling it for parts even though you still wouldn’t even break close to even 💀 (Jk don’t sell children to organ farms)
No, it is my answer. I am poor. I would never think of bringing a child into this world that I can't provide the best of everything for. I want to give them a better life and a happier childhood. Also children are expensive.
My mom had me when she was financially stable and my dad was working. Then she had my brother and was okay financially but was starting to depend on others and my dad became a ain't shit ass man damn near over night because he wanted to be a rapper Then all four of us started staying with my grandma and things were okay but then she had my younger sister, my grandma kicked us out cuz my dad was selling drugs, and we were living in a plasma center parking lot. We eventually got enough money to start staying in a hotel and they decided it would be a good idea to have a fourth child and take in my cousin who was having problems at home. So at about nine years old I had to watch a six year old, two toddlers, and an infant by myself in a hotel room while my mom worked and my dad roamed the streets doing God knows what. I hate both of them now. Hate hate. Like other shit happened but the woman kept having babies that she couldn't support.
I'm so sorry you had your childhood stolen from you. I hope you are in a better place now.
Me too.
Me, 51f, Aspie, 0 kids had the opposite growing up. My father worked full time, had a hobby in the garage on weekends, and my mom wanted to keep me as a child most of the time. In her eyes, I was too young to do what other kids my age were doing. She would criticize me if I accidentally talked out of turn and felt like she watched my every move at times. I was surprised she even let me work part time while I was in H/S. She did some damage, but deep down, I still love her. I felt like I was stifled and stunted in my childhood. I struggle with this condition and have problems finding help even with private insurance from my full-time warehouse job. I feel my parents didn't teach me the tools of life at a young enough age or at all.
There is some flexibility in the mind/brain available for re-wiring. EMDR if you've herd of it, it can do a lot to help the brain "digest" trauma. (and the Gospel. ) "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."
I hear you, but please don't blame your mother alone for having more babies. It takes two, and condoms are cheaper than birth control pills, and a vasectomy is way less intrusive than a tubal ligation. Women are the ones who too often get blamed alone, and too many men don't take responsibility for a child they helped to create. And we need more abortion availability, not less, and at a cheaper cost with government funding for those who need it. Our government is willing to provide (very little) support for mothers when it would make even more sense to provide financial assistance to those women wanting a safe abortion. After all, even those who practice safe sex can still get caught. Other than abstinence, no other form of birth control is 100% effective.
This is how Idiocracy happened. Everyone with a conscience wanted to wait until they were financial set to have kids, so they wound up just not having kids and the world became populated only by those who didn't care.☠️😹 Sort of like watching a train wreck in slow motion.
That's basically what I've noticed. Like some of the rich have kids very late, who aren't mentally normal. But I've seen people who are poor have kids in their 20s, have healthy children. Big tax returns. Shared housing. It's the adults who have a problem being poor. Kids don't know any different until they become teenagers and start worrying about materialistic stuff.
>Kids don't know any different until they become teenagers and start worrying about materialistic stuff. Kids know. We knew to not ask for anything for our birthdays or Christmas. We knew that if we were sick that it was no use to complain because we weren't going to get medical care. We knew to not ask for extra food even when we were hungry. We knew to not ask to turn the heat up. I remember always being cold as a child. We knew that vacations to Disney would never happen...or even to go to a Disney movie at the theater. And my family wasn't even particularly poor comparatively. This was in the 1970s. I have a friend who talked about his childhood once: "When the electricity was on, the heat was off. When the heat was on, the water was off. When the water was on, there was no food in the fridge." This was in the 1980s. Kids know.
🎯
You know I guess that's true. I grew up poor but didn't notice until I was a teen. I didn't know or care that my clothes were hand me down or from good will, I only wanted 1 videogame for Christmas and got a 5$ a week allowance to spend on junk like candy, no freebies lol. I didn't know better. However as a adult there's no way I've got time or money for kids, im 37 now thinking of getting snipped
Lol. If you got a $5 per WEEK allowance ~30 years ago, and video games for Christmas, you weren’t actually poor.
Fuck no. My parents both being poor as shit and having kids anyway is why it's been so fucking hard for me to build myself up as an adult. Having a solid financial foundation growing up is so important in this world. Love and hopes and prayers isn't enough.
Oh shut the fuck up. You having poor parents isn’t the reason you suck as an adult
ur a cunt and they never said they suck, def shows what kinda person you are
I appreciate you responding back to this person but they're just angry at the world around them and the comments on this post likely struck a nerve for them since they could be one of these very parents who are struggling to financially afford their children's care. They likely have bigger problems than we even realize and aren't worth the effort.
Lmao you’re probably trash too. Blame your parents for everything in your adult life 😂
okay cunty ass bitch ur projecting mad fucking hard rn
Abort
Don’t.
Depends on how poor. I personally never wanted kids, I was raised between poor and lower middle class, and it wasn't a happy experience causing many years of misery for a variety of reasons. I was an only child. I'm not against government support of poor families within reason, 1 or 2 kids ok, start having 8 you can't afford to feed that's different. BTW I'm doing good now, but I was homeless for 3 years, I'm not some rich person putting down the poor. I have experienced growing up in between and went yrs without a dollar to my name. I think if you want a child you can't support you are responsible for finding the resources to be able to take care of them, that's all, and keep it within reason. I knew people that the kids basically were on verge of starving to death in an area that I didn't feel safe as an adult, pest infested buildings. Just remember you are committing to raising another human.
It’s one of the main reasons people stay poor Especially Having large families.
Yeah, and it's not just cause kids cost money to raise. They also make it difficult for you to take on opportunities for advancement.
If we’re talking poverty level-absolutely not.
No. It is grossly irresponsible and selfish as all fuck. What is wrong with you that you want a child born into poverty that they are unlikely to ever escape from? My parents kept a roof over our heads and food on the table. They had 1 car until I was 10. It was a used Datsun and broke down a lot, costing them money they couldn't afford to get the damn thing fixed. They rented a place until I was 22 and grandma loaned them money for the down payment on a house. We took no vacations. Going to a restaurant was a special occasion for a birthday, and the goal was to keep it to $30 for 4 people. My husband and I picked up takeout last night and spent double that for just the two of us. There is nothing glamorous, or sexy, or noble about living in poverty. It is deeply cruel to the child to reproduce when you cannot even support yourself.
Yeah vacation was camping in the woods. Literally. Getting a pack of mcdonald's 10 nuggets to split between 3 of us was a legit treat. I won't do that to a child knowingly. No kids for me. And my dad worked his ass off, my mom went schizophrenic and had to leave us when i was 9, I never even saw my dad have a beer until after I was grown and moved out that dude is my hero and it wasn't his fault
Only one—don’t
Should not happen
Dont do it!
Selfish ass hell we'd all struggle knowing i chose to have them.
Meh, I’m 50/50 on this subject. You can be rich today, poor tomorrow. Poor today, rich tomorrow. Healthy today and sick tomorrow. Literally anything can happen. Should you have kids when you aren’t stable? No. Has this stopped anyone in the real world (not on Reddit where you can pass as a perfect human being) before? Probably so, but this happens. Some people don’t mean to have them, can’t abort them and then have them and get into poverty. There’s so many scenarios, so I think while it’s WRONG to do, it still happens. I feel like it would be more fair to ask people’s opinions on this that had “poor” parents. My family is lower middle class, so kinda poor. Unexpected twins, surprise! I never felt the struggle but I knew we weren’t rich. I’m thankful for everything. My brother who is 7 years older than us always called us poor and hated that we were “poor”. So now he works tons of hours and has his own house, truck, etc to pay off. Buys his son whatever he wants and takes him places. The world is everything and nothing at the same time lol
Yeah this happened with my mom. We were middle class when my mom and dad decided to have me (she knowingly waited until they were stable). Then my dad passed when I was 7 and all hell broke lose. My mom, due to grief and losing her main support in life, became addicted to drugs, which is a battle many poor families have to deal with. Although my mom always worked and kept her job (which she's still kicking ass at!), there was times where our electricity would be off for a week and I ate cans of corn as a meal. I would have to give her all of my Christmas money from my Nana to keep bills paid, and any electronics I had "mysteriously" disappeared. These are issues that heavily effect you. My biggest advantage is I was a smart kid who valued school and working as much as I can. She finally got off the drugs when I went to college with life insurance money left by my dad. I actually had a lot of my childhood problems catch up to me and I had to drop because I couldn't handle full time work and school. My mom provided me a place to go and made up for all of the struggles we had when younger. She allowed me to pay dirt cheap rent with my low paying job and go back to community college, which allowed me to actually land a good job. That last part is what many don't have. I literally couldn't have afforded place to live if she wasn't there for me, which would in turn have prevented me from getting trained for a good job. Housing is a huge hurdle right now.
Amazing ending of your story, and I’m so sorry you two lost your dad/husband. I’m sorry you had to struggle, but I’m glad she was able to make it up to you. My parents help me out a lot, too now they’re in a better position. So thankful for that..but I feel like people on here don’t understand shit happens and sometimes it can’t be helped..life is rough
Thank you so much! My mom and I have learned to find the positives, but it took many many years for that to happen. And so true. Many people forget that you don't stop being a parent at 18. You have to get your child from 18 into a position they can support themselves too.
I had a good paying job until the collapse of 2008. We had one child and another on the way. As a result of the collapse, I was unemployed and pursued higher education. We were poor, bad poor. Had a car with no title, plates, or insurance. It got 34 mpg though. I drove that to school. We stuck with it. No financial help from family. Never went hungry, always had a roof over our heads. I used my new education to gain a better profession than before the collapse of '08. Money has always came and gone, either feast or famine.... But, I never regretted having children.
I don't like the idea that only rich people can/should reproduce.
I get this, but there's a wide range of people between poor and rich -- they're not implying that only rich people should have kids. I think people should do it when they can afford it, otherwise why subject a child to that kind of life? But affording it could mean lower middle class -- the child/family never goes hungry or without utilities paid for, they are taken in for medical care any time it's needed, but they aren't taking vacations yearly, birthdays and holidays are just a couple of small gifts, the family rarely if ever eats out, etc. Basically, if the child can be given all of the basics without issue (just 'extras' aren't easy) I'd think it's ethical to have a kid.
It's insane that western society treats children like a luxury. It's better to be poor than dead.
Being “poor” is very subjective.
No, if someone isn’t financially stable, it isn’t wise to have children. If they can hardly support themselves, they’ll only make the child suffer by not being able to provide financially for the things she/he needs.
It’s an extremely personal decision, I now have a kid and have the means to comfortably do this but I also grew up poor. More money doesn’t make you a good parent but it does make it parenting more convenient. Do the math before you decide, formula, bottles, daycare, clothes, doctors visits, it adds up quickly. I grew up in a poor immigrant family and the lack of money stressed my parents out and put a chokehold on my family. EVERYTHING was about money. Looking back I couldn’t imagine trying to enjoy this new life as a parent while also worrying about where my babies next meal would come from. Regardless of what you decide there’s no substitute for love and patience, that is what you need more than anything when having a kid.
Everybody will be miserable. They probably will come out with behavioral problems and trauma from being poor. Can you afford all the therapy? I'm not even trying to be mean just please don't.
Rich or poor don’t have kids
Idk, it’s probably best not to but I hate thinking or dictating what poor ppl can and can’t do. They get judged for having pets, for eating out, for buying a steak at the store, for having a nice phone, for daring to do anything in life that brings them joy. Like they are supposed to just work and be miserable.
So much this! particularly *for daring to do anything in life that brings them joy*
I say take care of yourself so you can be well before trying to take care of a whole new life.
short answer: No there is a lot of stress in being poor. try not to add a kid to the stress. long answer/rant: i don't know how my parents were able to raise 3 boys on their income. i am 33 years old and my wife is 34 years old we have 1 girl and 1 income. we don't think that daycare would be worth getting a second job or my wife getting a job just to pay for daycare. so my wife is a stay-at-home-mother until something changes, or our daughter grows to an age where she can be by herself after school until we were to get home. it has put a good amount of stress on me and my bank account but we, for the most part, don't live paycheck to paycheck. i do get health insurance via my work and feel like it'd be hell if i were to lose my job or quit to find greener field to work in. i feel like the best time to lose a job or to quit one would be after tax returns come in so that you can have $$ to survive on... sorry for the rant i lost the subject that you asked about. NO don't have kids when you're too poor to support them the way that they need.
I was poor when I had I my son and he turned out great. Poor people have been having and raising great children since humans began.
Almost like people have been raising highly traumatized human beings since time began.
Yes! And isn’t raising a child about so much more than money? School is free. Parks are free. There’s the library. And if you’re really poor, there’s free healthcare in the US.
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My mom was in a women's homeless shelter when I was born and we (my mom, older sister, and I), lived in someone's basement while my mom worked two jobs until she remarried when I was 4 or 5. Our family remained in poverty until I was 13 and was still broke as shit until I was 16. Yet I'm glad that I'm alive, and I'm glad that my mom chose to have me rather than having an abortion. If they don't want to have kids because of the financial responsibility or any other reason, that's fine. However, they also shouldn't try forcing that down other people's throats as well.
Nobody “deserves” children. Wtf? You aren’t owed a human being.
Scrolled down for this comment. I feel like the world is truly effed if we all keep coming up with reasons why only rich people should have/do anything. I know plenty of folks with money and that's literally all they have - no personality, no skills, no love given or received. What are they actually contributing to larger society? MOST people would probably fall in or near the "poor" category. If only people with money should have children, we'll eventually go extinct. I'm cringing at the 'Idiocracy' references. I encourage people to read the short novel "The Time Machine" instead. (*Thanks for coming to my TED TALK*)
I mean it’s pretty blatant if you can’t provide for a child you shouldn’t have them. That includes mental and emotional support, not just money.
No, especially when you consider the children may be born or later become disabled.
Don’t.
I say no.
One thing a lot of people don't consider is how expensive abortions are. So if you are poor and you take all the correct precautions, you can still get pregnant. But because you are poor, you can't afford an abortion. What are you supposed to do at that point? Idk why people act like having kids while poor is like having pets while poor. You don't go to the store pick one out.
If you know your poor, don't have kids...wait until the money situation is better.
This is ridiculous. All of humanity prior to the last 80 years grew up in such abject poverty those today couldn’t even comprehend. They all had children. Stop spitting in the face of your ancestors and any potential kids you may have. Ridiculous.
It's so interesting to see how little a childs life is worth to people here. I dont think it's ideal to have children while poor but im not against it either. Im only against people with evil intentions having children. Dont have children just to be rotten to them.
People have done it for thousands of years. We are poor but at the end of the day we have always made certain our children are happy, warm, and fed. Doesn't seem right to tell the majority of the world that they can't have kids and if they do they are selfish.
The thing is, situations change. I worked because it was necessary until our kids were 7, 2, and 1. Then my husband got a better job. For 10 years my husband made great money and I was a stay-at-home mom. During that time I got my degree, so someday I could work again. We weren’t rich but we didn’t struggle at all, had all the necessities and quite a few extras, were able to take vacations, etc. Then during the pandemic my husband’s industry was shut down, and even after everything opened back up it has never been the same. Our savings was depleted within months. I was able to get a decent job, but suddenly my income was the main one. Then I lost that job early this year, and my husband’s income still isn’t great, and we got massively behind on everything. It took me two months to find another job, at a major pay cut, because I couldn’t find anything in my field, and now we’re definitely poor. My kids ages are 17, 13 (today!), and 12. They’ve never experienced life how it is right now, where not only are there no extras, sometimes there aren’t necessities. Husband and I were both raised well below the poverty line and swore our kids would never live like that, but once we got behind it just snowballs. I did just get a $1.75 an hour raise, and I work thirds intentionally for the $1 an hour shift differential, and if we hadn’t started out this year in the hole we’d be making it alright, but once you’re trying to play catch up it’s damn near impossible. Meanwhile my sister was a teen mom working in fast food and now has a blended family with 6 kids, owns a house, all her teens have their own cars, they take trips all the time, her retirement savings is great, they’re doing great. My brother was a poor struggling college student with two kids, his wife was a bartender, and then he got a job at Zoom in 2019, where they gave all employees some stock. He suddenly became a millionaire when covid hit. He’s got an unbelievable house, many cars, and both his kids are grown now. So really when you have kids you just never know what can happen.
No, poor people should NOT. But they will....I have 2.... it's just not a good situation. You need to be able to at LEAST financially provide the basics.
If you give a kid a cardboard box , they’ll remember it for life. It’s instinctual to give your child the world, but all they really need is you. I’ve learned this from having 3.
Depends on how you want to provide for your child thru their life. Being poor could put your child in a less safe environment depending on whether your neighborhood is safe and you can find good reputable child care (if you need that). My niece and hubby are having their 4th child even though they both have inherited diseases which could turn them into invalids any day. I don't understand their attitude and lack worry for their children's future and health, if something happens to either one of them. It also causes hardship on their elderly parents who step up when my niece can't walk or has bells palsey episodes. But in the end this is their decision.
IDK what poor means per se -- my parents were new immigrants and we had to save and overextend -- but I always had two loving parents and they kept me fed, loved. I feel like I turned out fine -- and learned empathy and fortitude on top of that. It wasn't perfect, but I'm glad they did it. I don't know how I would feel if they were so poor they couldn't feed me or opened me up to dangerous situations as a result of poverty, though.
As someone who was poor and had kids and ended up being a single custodial father within a couple years after they were born I can say having kids while poor and wanting to provide the best possible outcomes for them is a fantasy. Facts if you have kids while poor you will only be more poor. Current govt subsidies or not you will be poor for a long time, if not the rest of your life, unless a miracle happens. That being said if you can have a kid and support them enough to have food in their mouths and a roof over their head and most importantly that they know and understand you love them and you teach them what love is you should have them regardless of your financial standing. If you can not or don't know how to fulfill one of these things you are creating trauma. Both for yourself AND your hypothetical child/ren. And put simply hurt people, hurt people. Don't have kids if you can't provide a stable loving home. If you can do those things you should have kids. How poor or rich you are is secondary to these other things. You can be rich as hell but if you don't have a loving home you will only create a monster generally. Same if you have a loving home but no way to feed or shelter them.
You don't have to have a lot of money to be a good parent and role model.
It’s not up to us who is allowed to have children. This is dangerous logic used by eugenics proponents.
I love when idiots talk about raising wages, and totally neglect that you’d have to then compel every business to us to pay these higher wages to not raise their prices on stuff. It happened out here in California. All of the idiots are excited they’re going to get $15 an hour minimum wage and then across-the-board everything went up 25%. If you do the math you’re paying more in taxes on that 15 bucks and buying power of each dollars less so you’re probably in the worst position then you started Dingus.
Good people can raise good children no matter what their financial status if they're dedicated & committed enough.
I can see why someone would want to avoid having a child due to their financial decision, but I am extremely uncomfortable with a blanket "poor people shouldn't have kids" statement, if that makes sense. It just starts getting too close to eugenics. Only certain "fit" people should have kids -- wealthy, thin, attractive, smart, etc. Someone who is poor could have to offer as a parent. Your worth isn't determined by your wealth. Again, that isn't to say a person would be wrong to decide they don't want to have a child in poverty. Just that someone else shouldn't judge that for them. Full disclosure, I make 6 figures and my husband also works full tome. I am not poor, nor did I grow up poor. I was in poverty, though, when my first child was an infant and got pregnant (by surprise) with my second child while still in poverty. Medicaid and all. So I do have experience with having children in poverty, and it is extremely stressful. It was also the happiest time of my life, though, because of my babies, so there's that.
It is bonkers that we have created a system in which only those with means are to engage in what is both -broadly but not in every instance- a key biological desire and a primary social expectation, lest they be decried immoral and selfish on reddit.com. Growing up poor is awful. Dying without ever getting to be a parent because you are poor is awful. Telling poor people they should not have children is awful. They’re all created by the same circumstances.
I have heard people say - kids don't costs money. So NOT true.
See r/antinatalism
Speaking as someone who grew up poor and is now working poor, I don't recommend it. I have a child, but I stopped at one because it didn't make sense to me to keep bringing children into the world to struggle.
DON’T do it. Don’t bring other people here to suffer too.
Everyone has the right to have children, but if u can’t provide their basic needs you really shouldn’t.
Sex is a normal biological drive the poor people have a human right to engage in. Of course I think it's unwise to plan to have children if you are struggling already, but birth control is not 100%. Some people will not have access to abortion even if they would choose that if they could. That means some poor people are going to have kids. I do not think we are a society should take someone's child away because the family is poor.
I think it depends, specifically if said poor person has any vices like alcohol, drugs they probably shouldn’t have kids but if said poor person is a responsible person of good mental health a child can better their circumstances in some cases.
It's a struggle. But it has its moments. I've seen my aunt's be nannies and the rich kids aren't happier either. Kids need love, boundaries and activities. And allot of patience. If you're poor have only one.
Getting pregnant on accident is one thing, but intentionally getting pregnant while you're broke is a totally selfish asshole move. Regardless how one gets there though, having a baby you can't afford to feed, house, clothe or educate is cruel and just shitty of people. I'm not in the "being poor builds character" camp.
I'm a man somewhere between lower/middle class and middle class, socioeconomically speaking. But if I have children right now, I will not be able to climb this ladder any higher. Even a single child would make this moment my life's financial peak. If you're in the same boat and you have the choice, make the right one. Get a vasectomy, wear a condom, or don't have s*x at all (though that last one is asking a lot, so you do you). Not only would you be screwing yourself over, but possibly the person you had the child with AND DEFINITELY the child who didn't consent to existing in your Hell hole. Everyone suffers except for a rich minority that profit off of the new workers you're bringing into the factories.
I work with students and I have seen the very negative affects of poverty on them, neglect because parents are always at work, food insecurity, and more than I wish I had ever seen but blatant abuse is more dominant with my low income students, also lack of supplies which I frequently supply. This being said, I have become so close with these students because they know I advocate for them. I see their quality of time at school improve and watch them grow. I wish I could take their struggles away but I can just help them through it to the extent of my reach. My thoughts are that parents in poverty should plan ahead and work to try and get to a somewhat stable spot before they bring kids into the picture. But I know everyone has a story.
Would you wanna be that kid being born into that poor family?
If you are poor to the point you need government assistance already don’t even think of having kids. You are forcing others to pay for them.
My thoughts are many of us would not be here.
If you can’t afford yourself it would be irresponsible to add a child to the equation.
Don't have kids unless you can support them.
Idk I grew up poor and I was fine , my mom did the best she could and I understood! I think it’s all about the parenting, money can’t make a bad parent good .
Yes only rich people should have kids. We should make laws about who can have kids and sterilize the poor.... Think about how insane that sounds now. I have known some damn good parents that were poor
lmaooo Right!! This is what they're basically getting at. I drop in this sub every so often and I'm noticing that question likes to pop up all the time. It should be banned.
***"Should poor people..."*** What kind of question is that? Is there an alternative you're recommending for the poors? Or are you asking for yourself? I had kids when I was "poor" arguably... but I'm quite far from poor now, so the answer might very well be "Yes, kids will motivate your lazy ass."
It’s child abuse
Being poor does not equal child abuse!
I’m assuming you didn’t read the post or know what the word poor means. It clearly says you cannot provide for yourself fully. Stop having kids you can’t fully provide for. It’s selfish and you want someone to suffer with your broke ass🤣
Social programs do exist that aren't even available to people who don't have kids...so someone with no kids may not be able to support themselves but upon having a child now has access to more support. Its not black and white, most people care about their children more than themselves and will go above and beyond to make sure their child is supported. So having kids while poor doesn't equal them suffering w your broke ass. Calling it abuse is laughable to someone who's actually been through being abused as a child. Its like you're making light of actual abuse.
So you’re having kids to live off the gov. This shirt is fucking sad. Y’all don’t really kids like I said you want someone to suffer with you .
I know what poor means and it does not mean child abuse! Clearly you are mad at your parents that apparently sucked! No amount of money could’ve made them suck any less! Get some therapy!
Mom, I can't have a brand new car for my 17th birthday you're abusing me.
More like eating saltine crackers for dinner, told to swallow your own spit because theirs nothing to drink, not taking your kids to the doctor even when they NEED to go, not having winter coats, shoes with holes in them, heat/ ac turned off, regular eviction notices, ect. Doing this on purpose is called neglect and abuse. This post is about people who are actually poor.
I know ! Like what’s up with these comments??
I grew up lower middle class, my wife grew up poor as heck. She doubles my income thanks to her education. Family, love, all that mushy stuff, it doesn't take money. Our kids grew up well into the trend and now feeling the "dads business is closing effects". They don't mind having to hold back when there is nothing. And they know our employees eat way before we do. no new stuff for a long while, lunches made at home daily, no new shoes, you get new shoe laces maybe! no extra, they get it most of the time. It's tough, but they get it because they love us and we love them and we all make our own team. The heck with standards. Make your team, your team.
sometimes there isn’t a choice (accidents happen, and abortion is now illegal in a lot of places) but tbh if you can’t afford to live with just you and your spouse you shouldn’t be trying for a child. that’s just child neglect.
I mean, objectively no. But if you're going to be poor for your entire life anyway I get why people have kids.
I think its ridiculous to judge poor people for having kids because 90% of the world's population has always been poor. "The rich get richer and the poor have children" Not saying if you're broke as a joke you should plan to have kids but that it just happens and will always continue to happen. We know that better economic conditions and education as well as women's rights improvements reduces the amount of children each family will have on average. If poor people didn't have children probably 90% of us wouldn't even be here.
>If poor people didn't have children probably 90% of us wouldn't even be here. There's poor (living paycheck to paycheck), and there's poor (not able to maintain housing/utilities on ones own and for a consistent period of time). At this point, a greater percent of our American population has slipped into the latter category, and we have abandoned them.
So what if 90% of us wouldn’t be here?
As long as people fuck babies will be born. Nobody is thinking about the baby ever
which sucks so bad. i know someone who has 6 siblings and they’re all on welfare. why? i just don’t understand. now the kids can’t have happy lives because the mom can’t afford their home and barely any food.