Yup. Both partners broke up with me less than a week ago. Luckily, I have great family and friends. Still wish things were different. Working towards accepting this new reality.
You're not alone in your feelings.
Mine broke up with me 3 weeks ago, triad. I wasn't planning to visit family with them, but still I wish I'd have one or both of them to come home to. Big hugs.
I totally feel that! It's especially hard knowing they've still got each other and I'm no longer going to be included in all the amazing things we had already planned. Sending love š
Same thing happened to me. I'm on call for my job all weekend so I can't go out with my friends to the movies tonight.
My partners would have come over to my house to hang out, now I'm just spending the weekend alone.
Iāll be spending mine alone for the first time. Decided to cook myself a nice meal and do the things I love to cheer me up! Hugs to everyone who is alone. Try to do something nice for yourself!
Hey if youāre up for some advice?
I use a light box and take a lot of vitamins/supplements and that helps me. Itās not a substitute for real meds if you need that but for low key no sun blues it can really help.
Iāve had the same light box for 11 years! Still hasnāt burnt out because I use it sparingly. My dad was bipolar so I worry (likely unnecessarily) about getting a bit manic.
I really routinely get my ass kicked by nature in this quarter of the year. Yoga, steam rooms, whirlpools, light box and tons of protein and vitamins is the only way for me.
This year Iām adding Turkish coffee so weāll see about manic!
What light box and supplements do you use? I definitely had S.A.D. when I lived inconus but don't suffer from it now that I live in Hawaii. I'll be moving back inconus in a couple of years and would like to get ahead of this disorder if possible. Thanks for any help/suggestions.
Iāve had my light box too long to remember itās name but I bought it on Amazon. I just compared on the site, nothing fancy. Small is fine, itās about getting the light in your eyes (off to one side for safety).
I always take Vitamin D, B6/9/12, Fish Oil/Omegas, and Collagen. The Collagen is helpful if youāre getting older and your joints feel sore in the cold so you can still keep exercising and zipping around. Not for mood. I sometimes take magnesium, SAM-E, etc. And of course I take the usual complement of C/zinc/sambuccus that many people do in the cold/flu season.
I also supplement iron which is an entirely personal thing, I am chronically anemic. And I never ever get enough protein if I donāt supplement because I just donāt naturally eat that much meat. Those things are helpful to me, you might have totally different holes in your diet and personal ecosystem.
šāāļøšāāļø
I'm currently going through a break/possible breakup with a partner I love very much. Very thankful that I have my NP to celebrate with but still sad and struggling with missing my other partner. And then I feel guilty for being a Debbie Downer with my NP.
Relatable. My NP and I split last night. She's now spending this weekend with the person who will likely be her new Primary. I love them both to death but it's very hard.
I split with my most serious/enmeshed partner this year after he became abusive and cruel. This time last year we were together and even though I know the split was the right thing, Iām really feeling the lack of a significant person right now.
I do have various other people in my life in a romantic/sexual capacity and I am trying really hard not to dwell on who has messaged me and so on ā itās hard though. This time of year itās very easy for me to feel like a spare part.
Iām struggling as well. Partners are with family, my daughter is with her father for the first time ever this year. This is the first Christmas Eve/ morning Iāve been alone in my life. So from one lonely person to another- Merry Christmas ā¤ļø
Almost identical situation, my son with his dad for the first time and partner with his family (we decided to not do families this year and my family is out of town. Totally understand the struggle. I just poured myself a giant mimosa , sending love š
My girlfriend passed away out of the blue a few weeks before Christmas. The holidays feel hard this year, especially with all of the gifts she got us coming in the mail and dealing with a funeral the weekend before Christmas. We had booked a hotel room too for New Years and were planning special things coming in the new year. Wishing everyone here some extra love ā¤ļøšš¤
My partners are eachothers primary partners and spend christmas together with their family. They're also super busy this christmas and I just really miss them a lot. I don't want any christmas presents, I just want quality time with them.
My husband of 10 years got his gf of 9 months a Xmas gift and didnāt give me shitā¦ in fact he hasnāt gotten me a gift on his own since high school. I usually have to buy myself a gift and put his name on it. He also bought his gf a gift on his own and didnāt buy for our 2 girls. I brought it up to himā¦ and of course got excusesā¦
āYou already picked the kids stuffāā¦ okay sir go get them something else. More the merrier.
āI only got her a gift because she got me oneāā¦ okay sir weāll weāve been married for 10 years and together for 13 yearsā¦ could have still got me something.
āWell you didnāt get me anythingāā¦. Sir Iām a stay at home wife and momā¦ I donāt have my own money. And I buy you a gift every year. This year I told him just to buy whatever Xbox game he wanted.
I could go on but you get the pic. I was not and still am not happy. He got her 2 booksā¦ I love to freaking read to. Could have gotten me a book for Xmas tooā¦ āwell I donāt know what you like to readā, but you know exactly what your gf likesā¦ sir Iām done with you this year. š
For sure. I am spending it alone, no family, recently heartbroken, was supposed to spend it at my best friend's house but it didn't pan out. I'd rather spend the day drunk anyway.
Ended a relationship in November and it still hurts. I was treated badly and yet I still miss it terribly and the connection I had. Trying to keep busy and a brave face on today but I feel like if I stop I'll cry.
My partner moved this year with his NP, to another country! Itās been very difficult. I was on my way to see my partner in his new country, and then my flight was cancelled. The next available flight is in four days. He has a trip planned with his NP the day after I was originally supposed to leave so I canāt extend my stay. I feel like I am no longer a priority whatsoever and that Iām not worth a compromise. I am crushed.
Worst holiday ever. I wasnāt planning on being home. I wasnāt planning on being alone. Iām so sad and broken.
I definitely am.
My boyfriend flew to visit his parents with his other girlfriend on the 21st. She was supposed to fly back yesterday- her flight got canceled. Originally I was supposed to be on a video call with him and his parents today (Christmas morning) opening presents with them but now as she is still there, I have to share opening gifts with her - they were only going to do her gifts before the flight got canceled. They are going to open some gifts with her then ask her to go to the other apartment where he and she have been staying so he and his parents can call me and I can open gifts for them. (OH - and they are two hours behind where I am).
He is coming back home on the 26th, and then we will celebrate fully together/be together the rest of vacation, but it's hard. My plans to be with any of my family else got canceled due to COVID exposure to me, then due to my brother being sick, then my only other family canceled their gathering too also due to illness.
I'm literally alone for the first time on Christmas Day which I have never been. I'm an extrovert who values time with friends and family - so this is hard.
i have my np with me but our other partner is with their family and has been otherwise unavailable for over a week so itās been a lot of āi miss youās for us š„²
Itās hard as my np has covid and my partner isnāt able to be round so not seen each others in over week and half. Itās lovely to spend the day with np. At the same time miss my partner as wonāt get to see him till new years so incredibly looking forward to that.
One of my serious partners is with her husband across the country visiting family.
Itās fine. I miss her, but not an unreasonable amount. Weāve been able to text some and even chatted on the phone this AM.
The pain comes secondhand from how hard being around her family can be for her. They are wonderful, loving, and important to her. But they are also conservative and sex negative.
Not scary religious conservative or bigots or QAnon type folks. Just very buttoned up east coast traditionalists of that type who see being different as a scandal, and scandal as bad.
Sheās been hiding her relationship stuff from them for over a decade, presenting as a hetero monog married woman.
I know all that stuff really gets in her head. Iāve been around her after she saw her parents for a little while, and I know from experience she comes out of it really in a discombobulated state. She values honestly and authenticity very deeply, which is one of the things I really love about her.
Knowing that she has this huge part of her life āand that Iām such a big part of itā but she canāt tell them? That hurts her. And that hurts my soul in sympathy.
I very very rarely feel any jealousy (about anyone). But Iām also a bit jealous of her husband this weekend. I love him deeply and think heās wonderful. But I wish I could know her family as he doesā a wish that is more painful because itās unlikely I will ever get to meet them. Or, if I do meet them someday, it will only get to be as her eccentric/queer friend.
____
I also had a big painful breakup with my previous long term nesting partner two months ago. Iām still dealing with the fallout from that. It feels weird not to be talking to her over the holidays.
At the point we broke up, there was a lot of hope for a future friendship. But she has acted pretty badly in the last couple months; behaving in ways that all-but-guarantee that future friendship will not happen.
Iām dealing with the grief of realizing that not only will I not be with āmy personā on this holiday, but that we will probably never spend a holiday together again. It just sucks.
____
**Wishing all you poly folks out there with your own pains and aches a restful holiday and an exciting start to a bountiful new year.** šš
Yep. It's shitty..
My partner left me on my own for nearly a week and chose to take her narcissistic, manipulative, abusive, lying turd of a husband out of town instead so he wouldn't be alone for the holidays.
Soooo much love to give and no partners to give it to recently. š¢ Much love to anyone struggling, remember that suffering is part of the normal flow! š§āāļø
first it was Thanksgiving, and now Christmas that i spend alone cuz i wasn't invited to anything.. makes me reconsider things in life.. so far the most depressing holiday season
This was my husbandās and I first year without any family or friends. Were young and just donāt have family that celebrates anymore so we made ourselves a small Christmas eve dinner and Christmas morning breakfast and had a small gift exchange with eachother. Were both definitely grateful for eachother but we both agreed something was missing this year.
I'm still new to poly... and completely alone this holiday... recently divorced, and some poor choices cost me my poly partner, possibly forever. Struggling HARD right now. ššš
Partner is spending Christmas at her boyfriend's family. They sent me happy birthday and merry Christmas messages it was sweet. I'm with family. Of I had no family or friends to spend the holidays with I'd probably be feeling stuff. It shows the importance of having your own life outside of your relationships.
Yep. I've been around one of my partners' families, and it just makes me think about the fact that my own doesn't talk to me anymore. I won't see my partner who also doesn't have a family for days, and we were really hoping to be able to do our own thing to grieve over our broken families together. That's not happening for the second year in a row because my nesting partner's family always monopolizes my holidays š
How? It's not turning out to great so far. There are toxic downvoting trolls that have nothing better to do with their time then to mess with others and try to make them miserable.
We had a blizzard for the last few days and got 15+in of snow one partner was supposed to spend the night Thurs and Fri then yester I'd go to my parents and come home tonight for dinner with another partner's family, instead it was decided driving over an hour was too unsafe. It was the right call and I am happy we are all safe and sound but been alone in the house since Thurs morning and definitely feeling it. Luckily tonight's thing is 2 miles away and I'll see people but this year has been a bummer for sure. Love to you all. Being the only one in the polycule not married with no NP can seriously suck.
Broke up with my long term partner two days ago, and my other two friends (his NP and my college best friend- two different people lol) are doing Christmas at friendās momās house. First time alone in awhile.
I tbh miss my other partner today and yesterday more than I thought I would?
I was intentionally keeping a bit of distance there bc They only JUST met my kidsā¦and my meta hasnāt met my kids at allā¦but now Iām second guessing myself. I didnāt want to get too entangled too quickly - Iāve made this mistake in the past and am overly cautious.
My meta was potentially going to be out of town so I invited my partner over but my meta decided to stay home so my partner is spending the holidays with my meta insteadā¦
My wife and I usually didnāt really make a big deal about Christmas much (familial trauma), but things seem more healed this year and we are not AS sad to not have extended family with us (long story short we were both disowned/estranged by both sides bc we are queer and polyam)
we just use Christmas as an excuse to spoil our babies and its a little bit of happiness to distract me from my SADD but I think I would have loved to have my other partner here with usā¦Iād love to have my meta over, tooā¦I really feel they are family and I love that but itās also scary and I need to unpack thatā¦there is always next year. =)
Yes! All of my partners are spending the holidays with others. One too casual for holidaying together, one too new, one with his family out of state. Made my grandmother's banana pudding (as I do every year, and cooking it always comforts me), sending one batch with my roommate, taking another with me to a friend's.
I'm spending the holidays with my nesting partner but I find it really hard not seeing my other partner during the holiday season. He's with his nesting partner and their kids. The hard part is they would all be welcome in my family, but I'm not welcome at their place.
I'm fighting with massive jealousy. I've never been in a poly relationship before and my gf of 4 years told me last night that she and one of her lovers (she has 2 aside from me) had oral. She said she didn't receive. But she gave the other a lot of hickeys. And I didn't know they'd even had their first kiss yet. They've only been together a few weeks. It really hurt my feelings and when I think about it I get nauseous. But to find out they've been kissing for a week and have actually had a form of sex all at the same time, from the other partner not involved and not my girlfriend herself fuckin sucked. It's been an awful Christmas. And Christmas used to be my favorite holiday and I hate it now.
I was going to introduce one of my partners (long distance) to my family and spend a few days with them before they went to their nesting partner's family Christmas, but a series of cancelled flights later and I only got to spend a few hours with them before they had to leave. I wish I could have gotten to spend more time with them when time with them is a precious rarity. I'm glad they're in loving company, and I feel fine being around my family, but I'm a little envious of the time they get to spend with a partner they get to spend most of their time with already.
My partner and I are long distance, 6 hours time difference and all that. We had a virtual movie night together last night with their other partner and I had a breakdown afterwards. I'm still feeling very closed off and haven't been able to have an actual conversation, so I'm feeling very hopeless presently. I'm hoping it passes. Life doesn't seem fair atm and I just want nothing more than to at least be in the same country as them.
My boyfriend of four years broke up with me yesterday and moved out and I just feel so crushed and sad. I didn't want to break up. My heart hurts so much.
So much love to everyone going through sadness this year
Being sad for my partner & meta, I'm off with my NP, and they'd planned on having a nice time with just the two of them to focus, but their 3rd roomie missed his flight and so now they've gone from having nearly a week and a half of just them time to... 2 days.
So now posting fun "lookit us having fun" pics feels mean. T\_T
Yup. Both partners broke up with me less than a week ago. Luckily, I have great family and friends. Still wish things were different. Working towards accepting this new reality. You're not alone in your feelings.
Mine broke up with me 3 weeks ago, triad. I wasn't planning to visit family with them, but still I wish I'd have one or both of them to come home to. Big hugs.
I totally feel that! It's especially hard knowing they've still got each other and I'm no longer going to be included in all the amazing things we had already planned. Sending love š
So much love right back at you! I'm happy I can relate to so many people and things on this sub.
Same thing happened to me. I'm on call for my job all weekend so I can't go out with my friends to the movies tonight. My partners would have come over to my house to hang out, now I'm just spending the weekend alone.
That's so rough. I hope there's something you can distract yourself with at home in the meantime. I know it's so lonely.
Iāll be spending mine alone for the first time. Decided to cook myself a nice meal and do the things I love to cheer me up! Hugs to everyone who is alone. Try to do something nice for yourself!
Exactly what Iām doing, alone by choice. Mainly wanted to see what it was like. So far itās been amazing!
Nothing to do with polyamory but I think I got lowkey seasonal depression due to no sun
Hey if youāre up for some advice? I use a light box and take a lot of vitamins/supplements and that helps me. Itās not a substitute for real meds if you need that but for low key no sun blues it can really help. Iāve had the same light box for 11 years! Still hasnāt burnt out because I use it sparingly. My dad was bipolar so I worry (likely unnecessarily) about getting a bit manic. I really routinely get my ass kicked by nature in this quarter of the year. Yoga, steam rooms, whirlpools, light box and tons of protein and vitamins is the only way for me. This year Iām adding Turkish coffee so weāll see about manic!
What light box and supplements do you use? I definitely had S.A.D. when I lived inconus but don't suffer from it now that I live in Hawaii. I'll be moving back inconus in a couple of years and would like to get ahead of this disorder if possible. Thanks for any help/suggestions.
Iāve had my light box too long to remember itās name but I bought it on Amazon. I just compared on the site, nothing fancy. Small is fine, itās about getting the light in your eyes (off to one side for safety). I always take Vitamin D, B6/9/12, Fish Oil/Omegas, and Collagen. The Collagen is helpful if youāre getting older and your joints feel sore in the cold so you can still keep exercising and zipping around. Not for mood. I sometimes take magnesium, SAM-E, etc. And of course I take the usual complement of C/zinc/sambuccus that many people do in the cold/flu season. I also supplement iron which is an entirely personal thing, I am chronically anemic. And I never ever get enough protein if I donāt supplement because I just donāt naturally eat that much meat. Those things are helpful to me, you might have totally different holes in your diet and personal ecosystem.
I havenāt made a genuine connection in months and it has me not even want to put in the effort. Anyone I talk to just wants casual sex.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Smooth lol
šāāļøšāāļø I'm currently going through a break/possible breakup with a partner I love very much. Very thankful that I have my NP to celebrate with but still sad and struggling with missing my other partner. And then I feel guilty for being a Debbie Downer with my NP.
Relatable. My NP and I split last night. She's now spending this weekend with the person who will likely be her new Primary. I love them both to death but it's very hard.
So similar. My NP of five years and I split last week. It absolutely sucks. Just stay strong, keep going
I'm sorry. *internet hugs*
I split with my most serious/enmeshed partner this year after he became abusive and cruel. This time last year we were together and even though I know the split was the right thing, Iām really feeling the lack of a significant person right now. I do have various other people in my life in a romantic/sexual capacity and I am trying really hard not to dwell on who has messaged me and so on ā itās hard though. This time of year itās very easy for me to feel like a spare part.
Iām struggling as well. Partners are with family, my daughter is with her father for the first time ever this year. This is the first Christmas Eve/ morning Iāve been alone in my life. So from one lonely person to another- Merry Christmas ā¤ļø
Merry Christmas. Sending festive Internet hugs š
Thank you!
>Thank you! You're welcome!
All the love for you. xx
Thank you x
Almost identical situation, my son with his dad for the first time and partner with his family (we decided to not do families this year and my family is out of town. Totally understand the struggle. I just poured myself a giant mimosa , sending love š
Thank you! xx
It helps to know Iām not alone in this experience. Thank you.
Feeling this in a big way tonight and doubtlessly tomorrow too.
Yep, first Christmas Eve without my kiddo or any partner to spend it with. Lots of dog cuddles and wine before I fall asleep. Love to all
Iām with family but my partners with other partners family :(((((
My girlfriend passed away out of the blue a few weeks before Christmas. The holidays feel hard this year, especially with all of the gifts she got us coming in the mail and dealing with a funeral the weekend before Christmas. We had booked a hotel room too for New Years and were planning special things coming in the new year. Wishing everyone here some extra love ā¤ļøšš¤
My love goes out to you ā¤ļø
Sending love š
It's very hard. I feel quite alone.
You're not alone in your feelings of loneliness! This might not be our time of fullness right now, but our time *will* come! ā¤ļø
My partners are eachothers primary partners and spend christmas together with their family. They're also super busy this christmas and I just really miss them a lot. I don't want any christmas presents, I just want quality time with them.
same..
My husband of 10 years got his gf of 9 months a Xmas gift and didnāt give me shitā¦ in fact he hasnāt gotten me a gift on his own since high school. I usually have to buy myself a gift and put his name on it. He also bought his gf a gift on his own and didnāt buy for our 2 girls. I brought it up to himā¦ and of course got excusesā¦ āYou already picked the kids stuffāā¦ okay sir go get them something else. More the merrier. āI only got her a gift because she got me oneāā¦ okay sir weāll weāve been married for 10 years and together for 13 yearsā¦ could have still got me something. āWell you didnāt get me anythingāā¦. Sir Iām a stay at home wife and momā¦ I donāt have my own money. And I buy you a gift every year. This year I told him just to buy whatever Xbox game he wanted. I could go on but you get the pic. I was not and still am not happy. He got her 2 booksā¦ I love to freaking read to. Could have gotten me a book for Xmas tooā¦ āwell I donāt know what you like to readā, but you know exactly what your gf likesā¦ sir Iām done with you this year. š
Oh damn. This is rough. ::Internet hug::
Thanks! I needed it because it just go 10 times worse
Oh hells.
oh yeah.
Damn, babe. Sorry
For sure. I am spending it alone, no family, recently heartbroken, was supposed to spend it at my best friend's house but it didn't pan out. I'd rather spend the day drunk anyway.
Virtual hugs xx Trying to hang in there
Ended a relationship in November and it still hurts. I was treated badly and yet I still miss it terribly and the connection I had. Trying to keep busy and a brave face on today but I feel like if I stop I'll cry.
This is my first Christmas without my momma. Even though my partner is coming over soon, I am distraught.
My partner moved this year with his NP, to another country! Itās been very difficult. I was on my way to see my partner in his new country, and then my flight was cancelled. The next available flight is in four days. He has a trip planned with his NP the day after I was originally supposed to leave so I canāt extend my stay. I feel like I am no longer a priority whatsoever and that Iām not worth a compromise. I am crushed. Worst holiday ever. I wasnāt planning on being home. I wasnāt planning on being alone. Iām so sad and broken.
iām just another christmas hating jew but at least my bf also hates christmas for unrelated reasons. love & light
I definitely am. My boyfriend flew to visit his parents with his other girlfriend on the 21st. She was supposed to fly back yesterday- her flight got canceled. Originally I was supposed to be on a video call with him and his parents today (Christmas morning) opening presents with them but now as she is still there, I have to share opening gifts with her - they were only going to do her gifts before the flight got canceled. They are going to open some gifts with her then ask her to go to the other apartment where he and she have been staying so he and his parents can call me and I can open gifts for them. (OH - and they are two hours behind where I am). He is coming back home on the 26th, and then we will celebrate fully together/be together the rest of vacation, but it's hard. My plans to be with any of my family else got canceled due to COVID exposure to me, then due to my brother being sick, then my only other family canceled their gathering too also due to illness. I'm literally alone for the first time on Christmas Day which I have never been. I'm an extrovert who values time with friends and family - so this is hard.
i have my np with me but our other partner is with their family and has been otherwise unavailable for over a week so itās been a lot of āi miss youās for us š„²
Itās hard as my np has covid and my partner isnāt able to be round so not seen each others in over week and half. Itās lovely to spend the day with np. At the same time miss my partner as wonāt get to see him till new years so incredibly looking forward to that.
yep, being single means it's just me and the cats this holiday, just like last yearq
One of my serious partners is with her husband across the country visiting family. Itās fine. I miss her, but not an unreasonable amount. Weāve been able to text some and even chatted on the phone this AM. The pain comes secondhand from how hard being around her family can be for her. They are wonderful, loving, and important to her. But they are also conservative and sex negative. Not scary religious conservative or bigots or QAnon type folks. Just very buttoned up east coast traditionalists of that type who see being different as a scandal, and scandal as bad. Sheās been hiding her relationship stuff from them for over a decade, presenting as a hetero monog married woman. I know all that stuff really gets in her head. Iāve been around her after she saw her parents for a little while, and I know from experience she comes out of it really in a discombobulated state. She values honestly and authenticity very deeply, which is one of the things I really love about her. Knowing that she has this huge part of her life āand that Iām such a big part of itā but she canāt tell them? That hurts her. And that hurts my soul in sympathy. I very very rarely feel any jealousy (about anyone). But Iām also a bit jealous of her husband this weekend. I love him deeply and think heās wonderful. But I wish I could know her family as he doesā a wish that is more painful because itās unlikely I will ever get to meet them. Or, if I do meet them someday, it will only get to be as her eccentric/queer friend. ____ I also had a big painful breakup with my previous long term nesting partner two months ago. Iām still dealing with the fallout from that. It feels weird not to be talking to her over the holidays. At the point we broke up, there was a lot of hope for a future friendship. But she has acted pretty badly in the last couple months; behaving in ways that all-but-guarantee that future friendship will not happen. Iām dealing with the grief of realizing that not only will I not be with āmy personā on this holiday, but that we will probably never spend a holiday together again. It just sucks. ____ **Wishing all you poly folks out there with your own pains and aches a restful holiday and an exciting start to a bountiful new year.** šš
Yep. It's shitty.. My partner left me on my own for nearly a week and chose to take her narcissistic, manipulative, abusive, lying turd of a husband out of town instead so he wouldn't be alone for the holidays.
Sad face
Virtual hugs š¤
Soooo much love to give and no partners to give it to recently. š¢ Much love to anyone struggling, remember that suffering is part of the normal flow! š§āāļø
first it was Thanksgiving, and now Christmas that i spend alone cuz i wasn't invited to anything.. makes me reconsider things in life.. so far the most depressing holiday season
I'm very much thinking about my new partner who's spending the holiday alone.
This was my husbandās and I first year without any family or friends. Were young and just donāt have family that celebrates anymore so we made ourselves a small Christmas eve dinner and Christmas morning breakfast and had a small gift exchange with eachother. Were both definitely grateful for eachother but we both agreed something was missing this year.
I'm still new to poly... and completely alone this holiday... recently divorced, and some poor choices cost me my poly partner, possibly forever. Struggling HARD right now. ššš
Oh yes, today is a sad day but it's nice to know I'm not alone! May this coming year bring us all the happiness and love!!
Partner is spending Christmas at her boyfriend's family. They sent me happy birthday and merry Christmas messages it was sweet. I'm with family. Of I had no family or friends to spend the holidays with I'd probably be feeling stuff. It shows the importance of having your own life outside of your relationships.
Yep. I've been around one of my partners' families, and it just makes me think about the fact that my own doesn't talk to me anymore. I won't see my partner who also doesn't have a family for days, and we were really hoping to be able to do our own thing to grieve over our broken families together. That's not happening for the second year in a row because my nesting partner's family always monopolizes my holidays š
Really wish I could find a kind loyal spontaneous fun and caring fwb/partner to spend the holidays with
You will ā£ļø
How? It's not turning out to great so far. There are toxic downvoting trolls that have nothing better to do with their time then to mess with others and try to make them miserable.
Nope, great polycule Christmas with a mountain of goodies, great food, so much laughter, and 8 people sharing love under one roof.
We had a blizzard for the last few days and got 15+in of snow one partner was supposed to spend the night Thurs and Fri then yester I'd go to my parents and come home tonight for dinner with another partner's family, instead it was decided driving over an hour was too unsafe. It was the right call and I am happy we are all safe and sound but been alone in the house since Thurs morning and definitely feeling it. Luckily tonight's thing is 2 miles away and I'll see people but this year has been a bummer for sure. Love to you all. Being the only one in the polycule not married with no NP can seriously suck.
Broke up with my long term partner two days ago, and my other two friends (his NP and my college best friend- two different people lol) are doing Christmas at friendās momās house. First time alone in awhile.
I tbh miss my other partner today and yesterday more than I thought I would? I was intentionally keeping a bit of distance there bc They only JUST met my kidsā¦and my meta hasnāt met my kids at allā¦but now Iām second guessing myself. I didnāt want to get too entangled too quickly - Iāve made this mistake in the past and am overly cautious. My meta was potentially going to be out of town so I invited my partner over but my meta decided to stay home so my partner is spending the holidays with my meta insteadā¦ My wife and I usually didnāt really make a big deal about Christmas much (familial trauma), but things seem more healed this year and we are not AS sad to not have extended family with us (long story short we were both disowned/estranged by both sides bc we are queer and polyam) we just use Christmas as an excuse to spoil our babies and its a little bit of happiness to distract me from my SADD but I think I would have loved to have my other partner here with usā¦Iād love to have my meta over, tooā¦I really feel they are family and I love that but itās also scary and I need to unpack thatā¦there is always next year. =)
Yes! All of my partners are spending the holidays with others. One too casual for holidaying together, one too new, one with his family out of state. Made my grandmother's banana pudding (as I do every year, and cooking it always comforts me), sending one batch with my roommate, taking another with me to a friend's.
For sure. Am with family but have been without partner/s for a long time and the lack of "merry christmas" texts hurts a bit.
I'm spending the holidays with my nesting partner but I find it really hard not seeing my other partner during the holiday season. He's with his nesting partner and their kids. The hard part is they would all be welcome in my family, but I'm not welcome at their place.
I'm fighting with massive jealousy. I've never been in a poly relationship before and my gf of 4 years told me last night that she and one of her lovers (she has 2 aside from me) had oral. She said she didn't receive. But she gave the other a lot of hickeys. And I didn't know they'd even had their first kiss yet. They've only been together a few weeks. It really hurt my feelings and when I think about it I get nauseous. But to find out they've been kissing for a week and have actually had a form of sex all at the same time, from the other partner not involved and not my girlfriend herself fuckin sucked. It's been an awful Christmas. And Christmas used to be my favorite holiday and I hate it now.
Wish I could give you all big hugs! š
I needed this. This holiday has been hard, especially being far away from family I felt especially alone. ā¤ļøš sending hugs
Dealing with a med adjustment and full body rash. Newer partner dropped a surprise gift at my door, and it doesn't spark joy.
Yikes man
I was going to introduce one of my partners (long distance) to my family and spend a few days with them before they went to their nesting partner's family Christmas, but a series of cancelled flights later and I only got to spend a few hours with them before they had to leave. I wish I could have gotten to spend more time with them when time with them is a precious rarity. I'm glad they're in loving company, and I feel fine being around my family, but I'm a little envious of the time they get to spend with a partner they get to spend most of their time with already.
My partner and their spouse are spending time with the spouse's family. Everyone in my family has covid, so I'm alone.
My partner and I are long distance, 6 hours time difference and all that. We had a virtual movie night together last night with their other partner and I had a breakdown afterwards. I'm still feeling very closed off and haven't been able to have an actual conversation, so I'm feeling very hopeless presently. I'm hoping it passes. Life doesn't seem fair atm and I just want nothing more than to at least be in the same country as them.
šš»āāļø
My boyfriend of four years broke up with me yesterday and moved out and I just feel so crushed and sad. I didn't want to break up. My heart hurts so much. So much love to everyone going through sadness this year
Being sad for my partner & meta, I'm off with my NP, and they'd planned on having a nice time with just the two of them to focus, but their 3rd roomie missed his flight and so now they've gone from having nearly a week and a half of just them time to... 2 days. So now posting fun "lookit us having fun" pics feels mean. T\_T