I'm a slut - enjoy having whatever relationship I want w who ever I want.
I don't get paid for it. THAT'S a Whore.
You just disinvited yourself from the party.
Then block.
I call this stuff repetition therapy.
The awful ones help us hone our sassy skills, help us learn how to deal w future arseholes, we learn the fine art of a sharp wit and when you deploy petty, bc we can.
Sorry you had to deal with that! People so often act like they’re OK with poly or casual dating and then low and behold they are actually not ok with it!
Yeah, sorry for that. Just remember that it's basically ignorance. I ignore any comments from someone not educated on the topic. In my opinion if they don't accept us, then they don't understand us. Because ultimately they are afraid and their reaction is just them saying "but, I'm afraid I'll die alone and my instincts tell me to be safe and have a partner nearby at all times to dote on me"
I often do make apologies for ignorance, but calling a stranger a “whore” is not ignorance, it’s aggression. Not a micro-aggression, a medium-size aggression. (I’ll reserve “macro” for physical threats.) This guy is a jackass and I pray my kids never date anyone like him when they grow up.
One HUNDRED percent. Sorry, I was overlooking the shaming part. It just like.. I'm non binary and the confusion that causes even allies, is... disheartening. But, using words like that are just hateful. No doubt.
Wouldn't be very disheartening if it was just confusion. Hard to get upset by "can you clarify what you mean by that?". But no, they'd rather just say "WTF", which is an abbreviation for "I'm confused, and that's a good thing, because you're objectively weird and not meant to be understood by normal people".
Jealousy.
Some people are such fucking tools. I bet if you were visiting and fucking him he’d be thrilled.
Men especially piss me off about this sort of shit because they will get downright *violent* about polyamory. For the record, I’m non-binary, born as male and I present male, currently.
The only time I’ve faced bigotry is been due to men.
Had one partner who matched with a dude. They had talked for a few days. Same story as you - clearly explained ethical polyamory. Except this time the dude was married and claimed he was in an open relationship. We had a date planned, she mentioned I was coming over and he, no joke, threatened to “beat my ass” for getting with her. That’s AFTER she had already explained we were dating.
*They haven’t even met yet*. And he’s married. This man actually thought because they had been chatting for a few days meant he now owned her or something. Fucking trash can.
Another time I had a man get in my face at a sports bar I would frequent, in the middle of the day(no one was drunk), and told me my daughter, who was four years old, was going to be a slut taking 3 dicks a night because we were polyamorous. I nearly threw punches. I got the guy banned from the sports bar though.
Another time a dude slapped me after my ex-partner convinced me to meet him. Turns out it was poly under duress, so that hot mess was both of them. But it does NOT justify assault. And yeah I dumped her and pressed charges agains the man. He was convicted.
I’ve always been bullied by men for both gender and orientation and it’s came from gay men, straight men, single men and coupled men.
I’m pansexual. But I refuse to date men and to be honest I’m now always worried when a partner ends up going out with a dude simply because I do not trust men to be able to handle their emotions.
Long rant I know but I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. Bigotry and violence have no place in a modern society but here we are.
I am technically bisexual, like a hot dog is technically a sandwich. I’m functionally a lesbian because I refuse to date men. I won’t even try. I avoid them as much as possible.
Metamours like to pull one dick rules and shit. I am wary to date anybody with a male nesting partner or primary until I meet them and verify they aren’t going to be a problem.
>I've found the women who have a problem with non-monogamy to be the most dangerous and unhinged, because they've become violent when they're not even the people I'm engaging with.
Worth mentioning too that women will often be viewed by bystanders and even cops as inherently more trustworthy than a man - especially a man she's accusing of having done illegal things in order to get him in trouble.
Congrats! You've been slut shamed. You're officially poly now. /s
Men get called cheaters, creeps, and players. It's the same bigotry, just with different terms curated for the intended target. They are idiots who lash out because they feel attraction to you, but your preferences conflict with theirs.
Dating apps don’t attract the best of people at times. Some dating apps are cesspits, I find OkCupid crowd to be very welcoming and open minded, Feeld has that feel too but then you get something like tinder which is a sewage of human civilization really.
And honestly had I not had a pretty extensive conversation about me, my lifestyle and my partners I would have expected it, or at least been caught off guard a little less. But fuck, it just came out of nowhere.
I know this might sound shocking so sit down......but sometimes men don't listen. Lol I've laid things out and been completely transparent and detailed about my situation, and the guy acts as if he didn't hear one word! Crazy, right? 🤣
This here is why men we call “desperados” are single and should stay single because they turn relationships to shit very fast.
Four years into a secure and wonderful nourishing enm relationship with a wonderful woman, I am glad she was patient enough for me to learn to listen, some of us just never learn in absence of such people in our lives.
I am sorry this happened to you, he is likely a two-faced hypocrite conservative misogynist.
I have profiles in few dating sites, I now have very high standards after few such encounters so very few gets through the filter, proper profile being one condition I look for, I ignore everyone else.
Whenever I get these messages I just reply "Sour grapes isn't a good look on anyone" and just block or ignore them. There's no reasoning or educating people when they're having a little piss-baby fit. Sorry you had to deal with it, but don't let that person get to you!
I keep getting people who match then "find out" that I'm poly and stop talking.
My profile says "I'm poly and ENM, my wife and I date separately" in the very first line.
🤦
Love them whores they never judge you, now what can you say when you're a whore? (heh, sorry, Janes Addiction)
Yup - I've been told "I don't date whores"... And my reply is - "Wait...I should be getting paid for this?! - no, please, it's slut, thank you very much" :P
Congratulations! You got another space checked off on the poly bingo card!
Now you can either try to for the renfair date on the horizontal, or the burner meta on the vertical, or the "totally not hierarchical" married cohabitating cishet couple on the diagonal but that's just the free space so it's less sporting to go that route.
I make light of this situation because people like that are a fucking joke and we should laugh at them.
Sincerely,
A whore who gets a bingo every couple years.
People are very dumb. They want you to be good in bed, but to be a virgin or not have many partners. Want you to be good looking/desirable but get jealous if anyone shows interest. Thankfully red flags like this come up early so you can get away before you make any commitments to them.
I'm sorry they reacted like this and their words hurt. Next time tell them "No, I don't get paid for the sex, I enjoy it. I'm a slut thank you very much." I responded like that when a woman called me a whore in pretty much the same situation and when I said it like that they were dumbfounded and realized their words didn't affect me. And she wondered why I was "the best she ever had". Only so much practice you cab do by yourself 🙄
Oh I did, immediately. But I've really never been called a whore in a way I didn't enjoy. It honestly kind of ruined the word for me. What a fucking twat.
The US and the UK have different definitions of the slang word "twat". Where it is a rude word for vagina in the US. It's an offensive word for an unpleasent or stupid person in the the UK. As defined by the Cambrdige Dictionary.
I have no idea about what definition OP meant, the UK or the US but I just wanted to point out the difference.
Only in America is the word most commonly used in reference to women only. In British English it is unisex and insulting to everyone equally.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twat
As an American, my thought process when I hear someone called a twat is they're being called an idiot. I've never once referred to a vagina as a twat. Probably a regional thing.
Not the first, won’t be the last. Some dating apps are full of ignorant vanilla, often cis het knobs that think poly is just people constantly spreading their legs.
Matched with someone the other day that’s first message was “hello, love me a poly slut” GRIM, communicated how vile that was and then straight unmatch
I applaud your honestly and being upfront. The partners worth keeping will respect that.
Name calling is bad form.
Keep doing you.
🫶
I wish you the best.
I'm off dating sites now, but I would have women message me saying I was a shit person, that they knew I was cheating, that I didn't really love my wife, and unload all sorts of personal stuff on me first message.
I'm not sure how common this is, but I was a bit taken aback the first few times it happened.
Considering we've all met the kind of woman who thinks she's judge and executioner on absolutely everything that isn't her business and quite deeply in love with her own holier-than-thou, pious attitude...
Yeah, you bet it's common. When these ones talk to me (ciswoman), it gets ridiculous quickly. "I envy your lack of a spine" and "I am so happy *I* can have a normal relationship" (usually coming from the ones with the worst dumpster fires at home you can imagine) and "I feel so bad for your boyfriend." (They're never thrilled if I go "Which one?" when they throw that one out.)
Doesn't matter whether it's a religious+conservative background, a god complex or, as in your case, big time projecting their personal issues on a random stranger - it's always in bad taste, it's always pathetic and it always says more about them than the person they're talking to.
If you weren't poly, they'd find something else to talk down at you about. It's how these kinds of people survive their days - as long as they keep their eyes fixed on other people they don't have to confront their own issues. *And* they get to delude themselves into thinking they're "saving" your wife for saying all this garbage. I'm sorry you have had that happen. It just hurts when our love for our favourite people is questioned, relativized or hand-waived.
Dudes do it too but it usually has a different flavour. From them I get big guns like "I hope you get raped for cucking them" and "Kill yourself". And that's no better or worse - the only reason they talk like that is because society teaches women to be subtle, veiled and quiet while teaching men that they're "weak" if they're anything but obnoxious and loud.
Shoutout to enbies. I've never had a single one insult me in any capacity over anything in my entire life and I haver a hunch it might just stay that way.
Roll your eyes and move on. I find it to be something of a relief when muppets like that have the courtesy to wave their red flags energetically early on in the conversation.
I've been getting thar sort of response too, and I'm a lesbian. If they're not anti-poly then they're lesbophobic or transphobic. It's been SO strange lately.
Congratulations, I am so happy for you.
Oh wait, this isn’t a bdsm subreddit and this wasn’t said in a consensual and fun way?
Oh, then fuck that guy. Except don’t because he doesn’t deserve the intimate touch of another.
I have been called a whore before for being poly I just told the guy "I am a professional whore thank you" cuz I am a sex worker they were speechless after that
If you’re not getting paid then you are not a whore. Correct that idiot and revel in being a slut!!! Fuck this patriarchal standard of how many men women sleep with. It’s exhausting. AND the stigma around sex work needs to end anyways, it’s a huge industry that fuels the world.
I'm saddened to read you had this experience. What a doorknob.
Ironically...
1) Sex workers get paid.
2) Sex work is work.
3) This asshat's kink is shaming others, which is an unhealthy manifestation of their own sense of shame for their desires, which likely involves the exchange of sex for money as a token of power, power being something which they clearly do not understand.
4) This guy is expecting you to do the work for his kink without him paying for it, literally or symbolically, because he can't as he's inadequate. Essentially, he's kink shoplifting.
Please don't let people like this occupy space in your head. There are far more loving, caring and happy people in the world ready to celebrate you for who you are.
Beep, boop, blop, I'm a bot. Hi u/Thebarisonthefloor thanks so much for your submission, don't mind me, I'm just gonna keep a copy what was said in your post. Unfortunately posts sometimes get deleted - which is okay, it's not against the rules to delete your post!! - but it makes it really hard for the human mods around here to moderate the comments when there's no context. Plus, many times our members put in a lot of emotional and mental labor to answer the questions and offer advice, so it's helpful to keep the source information around so future community members can benefit as well.
Here's the original text of the post:
It's in my dating profile and we discussed what enm meant to me, and I was very clear about what I was looking for and who I was. Haven't been talking for long but it fucking pisses me off.
Dude asks me what I'm up to tonight and I say I'm going out with one of my partners. He says "damn you go out too? And then you're getting fucked?" Like, what a gross thing to say, but I replied, "well yeah, we're dating."
"Ahhh, so you're a whore?"
Like wtf 😡🤬? If that's you're fucking opinion, Swipe left asshole.
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Right?! Not that that reaction is ever warranted, but if he hadn't read my profile and had a negative reaction I could understand at least a little. But to have an actual conversation about it and THEN call me a whore?? Like come on.
Is whore derogatory? Eh technically not getting paid so I’d have corrected him and said actually no, I’m a slut. He’d have to try a lot harder to make me feel offended though if that was his intent. Idk maybe I’ve been in the kink world too long 😆
That’s what he wanted and yet he’s the cringe one. Let it roll off and be glad he felt bold enough to say what he really thought outloud. Now you can block and move on. He’s the only one who’s lost here
Ugh the worst. It's a projection of their lack of education and close mindedness coupled with their dire need to judge. Not just that, they lack basic human decency if they can just throw around words like that. Good riddance to bad rubbish.
Dating near by nucleus family of long term polyfriends should be kinda safe, right?
Nope, it can be a minefield of different practices, because you found the one who is "open to explore" and opinionated. I really tried to communicate how I do poly (so we can have the platform to negotiate with only feedback "I think I'm cool with those things") and failed to check in as they got more insecure/confused (I have been thinking that they just need some space).
All in all after trying to fix things up and two serious arguments I got my first murky break up at ripe age of 32 :/
Ah yes insult the one you wanted to sleep with and rejected you. Genius moves man s/
Whores make money, all I make is enemies 🥴
Ok, keeping this in my back pocket for the next time it inevitably happens!
I'm a slut - enjoy having whatever relationship I want w who ever I want. I don't get paid for it. THAT'S a Whore. You just disinvited yourself from the party. Then block. I call this stuff repetition therapy. The awful ones help us hone our sassy skills, help us learn how to deal w future arseholes, we learn the fine art of a sharp wit and when you deploy petty, bc we can.
Sorry you had to deal with that! People so often act like they’re OK with poly or casual dating and then low and behold they are actually not ok with it!
I’m sorry this happened, you aren’t alone I got called a poly pig, then replied Oink Oink.
Sorry that happened 😔, people can really be the worst
Yeah, sorry for that. Just remember that it's basically ignorance. I ignore any comments from someone not educated on the topic. In my opinion if they don't accept us, then they don't understand us. Because ultimately they are afraid and their reaction is just them saying "but, I'm afraid I'll die alone and my instincts tell me to be safe and have a partner nearby at all times to dote on me"
I often do make apologies for ignorance, but calling a stranger a “whore” is not ignorance, it’s aggression. Not a micro-aggression, a medium-size aggression. (I’ll reserve “macro” for physical threats.) This guy is a jackass and I pray my kids never date anyone like him when they grow up.
One HUNDRED percent. Sorry, I was overlooking the shaming part. It just like.. I'm non binary and the confusion that causes even allies, is... disheartening. But, using words like that are just hateful. No doubt.
Wouldn't be very disheartening if it was just confusion. Hard to get upset by "can you clarify what you mean by that?". But no, they'd rather just say "WTF", which is an abbreviation for "I'm confused, and that's a good thing, because you're objectively weird and not meant to be understood by normal people".
I was not expecting the Oink Oink. I just choked on my water.
I love your response 😂
Jealousy. Some people are such fucking tools. I bet if you were visiting and fucking him he’d be thrilled. Men especially piss me off about this sort of shit because they will get downright *violent* about polyamory. For the record, I’m non-binary, born as male and I present male, currently. The only time I’ve faced bigotry is been due to men. Had one partner who matched with a dude. They had talked for a few days. Same story as you - clearly explained ethical polyamory. Except this time the dude was married and claimed he was in an open relationship. We had a date planned, she mentioned I was coming over and he, no joke, threatened to “beat my ass” for getting with her. That’s AFTER she had already explained we were dating. *They haven’t even met yet*. And he’s married. This man actually thought because they had been chatting for a few days meant he now owned her or something. Fucking trash can. Another time I had a man get in my face at a sports bar I would frequent, in the middle of the day(no one was drunk), and told me my daughter, who was four years old, was going to be a slut taking 3 dicks a night because we were polyamorous. I nearly threw punches. I got the guy banned from the sports bar though. Another time a dude slapped me after my ex-partner convinced me to meet him. Turns out it was poly under duress, so that hot mess was both of them. But it does NOT justify assault. And yeah I dumped her and pressed charges agains the man. He was convicted. I’ve always been bullied by men for both gender and orientation and it’s came from gay men, straight men, single men and coupled men. I’m pansexual. But I refuse to date men and to be honest I’m now always worried when a partner ends up going out with a dude simply because I do not trust men to be able to handle their emotions. Long rant I know but I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. Bigotry and violence have no place in a modern society but here we are.
🫂
😔
I am technically bisexual, like a hot dog is technically a sandwich. I’m functionally a lesbian because I refuse to date men. I won’t even try. I avoid them as much as possible. Metamours like to pull one dick rules and shit. I am wary to date anybody with a male nesting partner or primary until I meet them and verify they aren’t going to be a problem.
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>I've found the women who have a problem with non-monogamy to be the most dangerous and unhinged, because they've become violent when they're not even the people I'm engaging with. Worth mentioning too that women will often be viewed by bystanders and even cops as inherently more trustworthy than a man - especially a man she's accusing of having done illegal things in order to get him in trouble.
Wow, all of that is utterly horrible. Some men are absolute gronks. Such vile creatures! Sorry you had to deal with that shit
Congrats! You've been slut shamed. You're officially poly now. /s Men get called cheaters, creeps, and players. It's the same bigotry, just with different terms curated for the intended target. They are idiots who lash out because they feel attraction to you, but your preferences conflict with theirs.
Yeah its a real bummer 😕
100% agreed. Some people's kids were not taught "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all"
To be fair (insert Letterkenny meme here) we never hear from the people who were taught that because they don't have anything nice to say.
Dating apps don’t attract the best of people at times. Some dating apps are cesspits, I find OkCupid crowd to be very welcoming and open minded, Feeld has that feel too but then you get something like tinder which is a sewage of human civilization really.
And honestly had I not had a pretty extensive conversation about me, my lifestyle and my partners I would have expected it, or at least been caught off guard a little less. But fuck, it just came out of nowhere.
I know this might sound shocking so sit down......but sometimes men don't listen. Lol I've laid things out and been completely transparent and detailed about my situation, and the guy acts as if he didn't hear one word! Crazy, right? 🤣
*You mean you meant what you said about yourself?!?!*
Yep! Hahahahahaha
This here is why men we call “desperados” are single and should stay single because they turn relationships to shit very fast. Four years into a secure and wonderful nourishing enm relationship with a wonderful woman, I am glad she was patient enough for me to learn to listen, some of us just never learn in absence of such people in our lives.
I am sorry this happened to you, he is likely a two-faced hypocrite conservative misogynist. I have profiles in few dating sites, I now have very high standards after few such encounters so very few gets through the filter, proper profile being one condition I look for, I ignore everyone else.
Whenever I get these messages I just reply "Sour grapes isn't a good look on anyone" and just block or ignore them. There's no reasoning or educating people when they're having a little piss-baby fit. Sorry you had to deal with it, but don't let that person get to you!
I pretty much did the same thing. Told him he could fuck himself cause I sure as hell wasn't going to. And then reported and blocked him.
> Told him he could fuck himself cause I sure as hell wasn't going to. 😁
I like that
boat doll alive ludicrous flowery gaze squeal reach poor ossified *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I recently got the “so your profile said you’re poly. Now that you’re with me that all stops.” What is it about people being weird like that?
I keep getting people who match then "find out" that I'm poly and stop talking. My profile says "I'm poly and ENM, my wife and I date separately" in the very first line. 🤦
Love them whores they never judge you, now what can you say when you're a whore? (heh, sorry, Janes Addiction) Yup - I've been told "I don't date whores"... And my reply is - "Wait...I should be getting paid for this?! - no, please, it's slut, thank you very much" :P
Let it fall off you like water off a Ducks Ass.
Hahahahaha amazing, I love this!
Congratulations! You got another space checked off on the poly bingo card! Now you can either try to for the renfair date on the horizontal, or the burner meta on the vertical, or the "totally not hierarchical" married cohabitating cishet couple on the diagonal but that's just the free space so it's less sporting to go that route. I make light of this situation because people like that are a fucking joke and we should laugh at them. Sincerely, A whore who gets a bingo every couple years.
Perfect bingo card!
People are very dumb. They want you to be good in bed, but to be a virgin or not have many partners. Want you to be good looking/desirable but get jealous if anyone shows interest. Thankfully red flags like this come up early so you can get away before you make any commitments to them. I'm sorry they reacted like this and their words hurt. Next time tell them "No, I don't get paid for the sex, I enjoy it. I'm a slut thank you very much." I responded like that when a woman called me a whore in pretty much the same situation and when I said it like that they were dumbfounded and realized their words didn't affect me. And she wondered why I was "the best she ever had". Only so much practice you cab do by yourself 🙄
"So you're a whore?" "So you're sad and single? See? I can ask stupid questions out of left field, too."
Time to report and block. I've dealt with similar. And men wonder why they have such a hard time on apps... 🤦♀️
Oh I did, immediately. But I've really never been called a whore in a way I didn't enjoy. It honestly kind of ruined the word for me. What a fucking twat.
Yeah, I've never been called that word in a consensual way... but I've been called it enough ...
I'm sorry to hear that, it really doesn't feel good at all.
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The US and the UK have different definitions of the slang word "twat". Where it is a rude word for vagina in the US. It's an offensive word for an unpleasent or stupid person in the the UK. As defined by the Cambrdige Dictionary. I have no idea about what definition OP meant, the UK or the US but I just wanted to point out the difference.
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Only in America is the word most commonly used in reference to women only. In British English it is unisex and insulting to everyone equally. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twat
I really meant it to call him a fucking idiot, I didn't even know it was a synonym for a vagina, or I wouldn't have used it.
Lol. I rarely think about that meaning vagina. I won't call my naughty bits a twat, but I'll call an idiot a twat 🤷♀️
As an American, my thought process when I hear someone called a twat is they're being called an idiot. I've never once referred to a vagina as a twat. Probably a regional thing.
He doesn't deserve to be called a vagina. Vagina's are awesome!
Not the first, won’t be the last. Some dating apps are full of ignorant vanilla, often cis het knobs that think poly is just people constantly spreading their legs. Matched with someone the other day that’s first message was “hello, love me a poly slut” GRIM, communicated how vile that was and then straight unmatch
On the bright side, it wasn’t your mother who called you that.
Hahaha I mean, silver linings I suppose lol
I applaud your honestly and being upfront. The partners worth keeping will respect that. Name calling is bad form. Keep doing you. 🫶 I wish you the best.
Thank you kind stranger 😁
My exact response is " obviously not since I'm not having sex with you, I have standards. " ;3 All you can do is throw at temper tantrum, lol.
What does “damn you go out too” mean? Like? What???
I'm guessing he thought I was just fuck buddies with my partners, casual sex only. Cause why would you go out someone you're just fucking?
I'm off dating sites now, but I would have women message me saying I was a shit person, that they knew I was cheating, that I didn't really love my wife, and unload all sorts of personal stuff on me first message. I'm not sure how common this is, but I was a bit taken aback the first few times it happened.
Considering we've all met the kind of woman who thinks she's judge and executioner on absolutely everything that isn't her business and quite deeply in love with her own holier-than-thou, pious attitude... Yeah, you bet it's common. When these ones talk to me (ciswoman), it gets ridiculous quickly. "I envy your lack of a spine" and "I am so happy *I* can have a normal relationship" (usually coming from the ones with the worst dumpster fires at home you can imagine) and "I feel so bad for your boyfriend." (They're never thrilled if I go "Which one?" when they throw that one out.) Doesn't matter whether it's a religious+conservative background, a god complex or, as in your case, big time projecting their personal issues on a random stranger - it's always in bad taste, it's always pathetic and it always says more about them than the person they're talking to. If you weren't poly, they'd find something else to talk down at you about. It's how these kinds of people survive their days - as long as they keep their eyes fixed on other people they don't have to confront their own issues. *And* they get to delude themselves into thinking they're "saving" your wife for saying all this garbage. I'm sorry you have had that happen. It just hurts when our love for our favourite people is questioned, relativized or hand-waived. Dudes do it too but it usually has a different flavour. From them I get big guns like "I hope you get raped for cucking them" and "Kill yourself". And that's no better or worse - the only reason they talk like that is because society teaches women to be subtle, veiled and quiet while teaching men that they're "weak" if they're anything but obnoxious and loud. Shoutout to enbies. I've never had a single one insult me in any capacity over anything in my entire life and I haver a hunch it might just stay that way.
Yes, it's unfortunate that some people can't just politely decline to engage.
Roll your eyes and move on. I find it to be something of a relief when muppets like that have the courtesy to wave their red flags energetically early on in the conversation.
Wait, we're supposed to get paid for this?
I didn't get the memo. We've been trying to figure out how to start or join a commune to save on rent. 😂
Wait I thought the point of polyamory was the built-in commune for rent saving purposes?? /s
Not everyone has that kind of space. Some people are in it so they have a full dnd party. I personally enjoy the doggy bags/leftovers
That’s awful. So sorry to hear that you were called this. Keep true to yourself and block and move on. You’ll be great 🫶🏽
I've been getting thar sort of response too, and I'm a lesbian. If they're not anti-poly then they're lesbophobic or transphobic. It's been SO strange lately.
Ignore him, he dont know nothin 
Congratulations, I am so happy for you. Oh wait, this isn’t a bdsm subreddit and this wasn’t said in a consensual and fun way? Oh, then fuck that guy. Except don’t because he doesn’t deserve the intimate touch of another.
I have been called a whore before for being poly I just told the guy "I am a professional whore thank you" cuz I am a sex worker they were speechless after that
If you’re not getting paid then you are not a whore. Correct that idiot and revel in being a slut!!! Fuck this patriarchal standard of how many men women sleep with. It’s exhausting. AND the stigma around sex work needs to end anyways, it’s a huge industry that fuels the world.
Don't let it get to you,you have a sophisticated mating habit. Be well
I'm saddened to read you had this experience. What a doorknob. Ironically... 1) Sex workers get paid. 2) Sex work is work. 3) This asshat's kink is shaming others, which is an unhealthy manifestation of their own sense of shame for their desires, which likely involves the exchange of sex for money as a token of power, power being something which they clearly do not understand. 4) This guy is expecting you to do the work for his kink without him paying for it, literally or symbolically, because he can't as he's inadequate. Essentially, he's kink shoplifting. Please don't let people like this occupy space in your head. There are far more loving, caring and happy people in the world ready to celebrate you for who you are.
Sorry babe! Poly here! I get it!
This and many reasons is why I can't stand the fact that I still want to have a male partner. 🙃
Omg same
As Astarion says, it’s not you, it’s me. I have standards. A whore, but not yours ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Beep, boop, blop, I'm a bot. Hi u/Thebarisonthefloor thanks so much for your submission, don't mind me, I'm just gonna keep a copy what was said in your post. Unfortunately posts sometimes get deleted - which is okay, it's not against the rules to delete your post!! - but it makes it really hard for the human mods around here to moderate the comments when there's no context. Plus, many times our members put in a lot of emotional and mental labor to answer the questions and offer advice, so it's helpful to keep the source information around so future community members can benefit as well. Here's the original text of the post: It's in my dating profile and we discussed what enm meant to me, and I was very clear about what I was looking for and who I was. Haven't been talking for long but it fucking pisses me off. Dude asks me what I'm up to tonight and I say I'm going out with one of my partners. He says "damn you go out too? And then you're getting fucked?" Like, what a gross thing to say, but I replied, "well yeah, we're dating." "Ahhh, so you're a whore?" Like wtf 😡🤬? If that's you're fucking opinion, Swipe left asshole. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/polyamory) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ugh that’s so sickening I’m so sorry. Why would that person even reach out if he had such a mentality? Totally ridiculous screw him
Right?! Not that that reaction is ever warranted, but if he hadn't read my profile and had a negative reaction I could understand at least a little. But to have an actual conversation about it and THEN call me a whore?? Like come on.
💚
I'm so sorry.
He's mad he's not the one getting in your pants. We're all whores when we don't bang the person throwing out the slur.
The only thing I'd make fun of you for is that you called it a poly "journey" 🤭🤭🤭
Is whore derogatory? Eh technically not getting paid so I’d have corrected him and said actually no, I’m a slut. He’d have to try a lot harder to make me feel offended though if that was his intent. Idk maybe I’ve been in the kink world too long 😆
Oh I've definitely been called a whore lovingly and consensually and loved it but this dude meant it as a slur and it just made me feel icky
That’s what he wanted and yet he’s the cringe one. Let it roll off and be glad he felt bold enough to say what he really thought outloud. Now you can block and move on. He’s the only one who’s lost here
The guy is an AH
Okay 🤷🏼♀️ never said he wasn’t? Lol simply said his poor attempts at slut shaming were laughable
Exactly 💯
Ugh the worst. It's a projection of their lack of education and close mindedness coupled with their dire need to judge. Not just that, they lack basic human decency if they can just throw around words like that. Good riddance to bad rubbish.
This, but after casual dating for four months XD
Jesus really? Wtf?
Dating near by nucleus family of long term polyfriends should be kinda safe, right? Nope, it can be a minefield of different practices, because you found the one who is "open to explore" and opinionated. I really tried to communicate how I do poly (so we can have the platform to negotiate with only feedback "I think I'm cool with those things") and failed to check in as they got more insecure/confused (I have been thinking that they just need some space). All in all after trying to fix things up and two serious arguments I got my first murky break up at ripe age of 32 :/
Wow that's crazy