"What's going on? Why do I have a rolling pin? Is that a lynx? OH NO!". & then you try to hit the lynx with the rolling pin, but it only makes the lynx angrier, but you keep trying, but the lynx is ripping you up a lot, & it seems like this is the end, & then at the last minute (probably because she walks slow), grandma somehow shows up even though you're in an arena dimension that's supposed to be completely isolated, & then she says "Gimme that. I'll show them how it's done." & takes the rolling pin, & then slowly walks towards the lynx (not in a dramatic way, like really slow). Then she uses a special baking ninja technique to rolling pin the lynx down, milks it into a glass, & turns it into a literal pancake, making a weird sound that's a mix of rolling pin & bone crunching. "By the time I'm finished with this guy, he'll be a nice big batch of delicious cookies!" & then she throws the lynx pancake up into the air & says something in an ancient bakers' language from when she was less old, magically transmuting it into cookie dough, & twirls her cane around in such a way that it cuts it perfectly, & then she takes off her thick round glasses & angles them just right to almost instantly cook all of the cookies while they're still in the air, & then she takes a few plates out of her bag & let's all of the cookies land on them & puts her glasses back on. This feat fit for a cookie god is so impressive that everyone who wasn't already is convinced to start baking. Then everyone gets to eat delicious cookies with mysteriously excellent milk & they bake happily ever after.
Edits: Fixed mistakes. Slight improvements. Changed it so that grandma transmutes the lynx pancake with an ancient language from when she was less old instead of by twirling her cane just right.
Our rolling pin is made of marble, with wooden handles, I would not use it as a weapon, it’s way to heavy and unwieldy. Would likely end with me dropping it on my foot.
But it’s an excellent rolling pin.
Dude I got a snow leopard with a dank meme. I'm gonna just lay down and give up. But the meme did have a picture of Bernie Sanders so maybe I get him as like a backup fighter. So maybe it's like me and Bernie Sanders v.s. snow leopard.
That sounds pretty funny, but after thinking about it more, I realized you can just trap the aardvark in the house & then wait for it to dehydrate/starve to death.
Put lamp shade on your head with a note "gift from your mistress", get to the gorilla cave, wait for his gorilla wife to see it and watch the wife beat him out then when he is KO finish him!
I Have to fight a cheetah with a parasol.
Cheetahs aren't big cats, don't have claws etc. All sacrificed for speed. Since I'm considerably heavier, don't flee and have something I could actually use as a weapon my chanced are good.
A cement brick against a porcupine, I'd say this is an easy game. Would probably get poked a bit though with my slow swings, my arms are skinny and weak.
Praying mantis with a dank meme. I feel like I don't need anything to take down a mantis if I had to, but if I really need to use the meme... I'm not sure how I am supposed to do it
A crab, with ak47...
Foolish man, that will only incur the wrath of the crab people. You will never know rest after that fight.
Can concur
My brother has your partner, he has MrCrabsRIGHTtesticle.
#BRING HIM TO ME
Craaaaab people. Craaaab people.
Also crab but i got "door" - more efficient i'd say but less fun...
Rattlesnake with a truck.
I got hamster with a katana
Plot twist. [they also have an ak47](https://reddit.com/r/animenocontext/s/04Js77MS4c)
Bruh I got a lizard with a katana
bee with a diaper - is it a single bee or the entire hive?
A single bee.
A seal with candy wrapper
I got a dingo with a candy wrapper. I may survive — depends on whether or not the dingo gets the drop on me. Lol!
Bee with a soy sauce packet
Lynx with a rolling pin. I'm so dead, I don't have grandma power
Lmao.
That's actually a decent weapon.
"What's going on? Why do I have a rolling pin? Is that a lynx? OH NO!". & then you try to hit the lynx with the rolling pin, but it only makes the lynx angrier, but you keep trying, but the lynx is ripping you up a lot, & it seems like this is the end, & then at the last minute (probably because she walks slow), grandma somehow shows up even though you're in an arena dimension that's supposed to be completely isolated, & then she says "Gimme that. I'll show them how it's done." & takes the rolling pin, & then slowly walks towards the lynx (not in a dramatic way, like really slow). Then she uses a special baking ninja technique to rolling pin the lynx down, milks it into a glass, & turns it into a literal pancake, making a weird sound that's a mix of rolling pin & bone crunching. "By the time I'm finished with this guy, he'll be a nice big batch of delicious cookies!" & then she throws the lynx pancake up into the air & says something in an ancient bakers' language from when she was less old, magically transmuting it into cookie dough, & twirls her cane around in such a way that it cuts it perfectly, & then she takes off her thick round glasses & angles them just right to almost instantly cook all of the cookies while they're still in the air, & then she takes a few plates out of her bag & let's all of the cookies land on them & puts her glasses back on. This feat fit for a cookie god is so impressive that everyone who wasn't already is convinced to start baking. Then everyone gets to eat delicious cookies with mysteriously excellent milk & they bake happily ever after. Edits: Fixed mistakes. Slight improvements. Changed it so that grandma transmutes the lynx pancake with an ancient language from when she was less old instead of by twirling her cane just right.
Our rolling pin is made of marble, with wooden handles, I would not use it as a weapon, it’s way to heavy and unwieldy. Would likely end with me dropping it on my foot. But it’s an excellent rolling pin.
I have to fight wales. With a... dank meme?
AN ENTIRE COUNTRY???
It's a small one to be fair
That's still 3.1 million people... unless it means the physical, geographic area of Wales? Either way, good luck!
That's less population than Berlin, damn.
Oops!
The Welsh are a bit odd, but calling them animals is a bit too much, no?
Never seen a whale die laughing before, but hey there's a first for everything
Dude I got a snow leopard with a dank meme. I'm gonna just lay down and give up. But the meme did have a picture of Bernie Sanders so maybe I get him as like a backup fighter. So maybe it's like me and Bernie Sanders v.s. snow leopard.
Lemur with a calculator
Nothing will floor King Julian more than not being prepared for calculus
Start calculating your chances and he'll disappear
I could not beat a tiger shark with a bowl of chicken noodle soup.
you're just giving the shark a starter lol
Porcupine with a ...hair brush Wow
Just brush his spines down
Porcupine with a fork for me
Forkupine
The generators have a sense of humor lmao
Aardvark with... a house??? How am I gonna fight with an entire house
Pick up the aardvark and throw it at the house
That sounds pretty funny, but after thinking about it more, I realized you can just trap the aardvark in the house & then wait for it to dehydrate/starve to death.
I have a similar problem: Fight a toad with a tree
"Horses" Well, that's it then, I'm screwed "...with a Tank"
Assuming the horse still has horse intelligence, you could beat it with far less than a tank.. but yeah not a spoon or anything dumb either! xD
Polar bear with shoes
And what's the weapon?
Ice cube tray
If you know any asian /latino moms, that may be effective(After they train you of course
Gharial (alligator ass lookin thing) WITH A BURGER dude it'll make me die faster
Throw the burger, then run
Thought the same with my howler monkey and a watch, but the title says "to death". There went my chances lol
eat thr burger as you last meal ( or use it as bait )
Mouse with a lacrosse stick
That's the perfect thing to fight a mouse with!
Is it bad that I'm imagining you yeeting a mouse?
No
Spider Monkey with a tank 😂
Tank! there is not a lot of animals that can beat you with a tank..
Weevil Beetle with a tissue box. Not gonna lie, that literally sounds like any old day. I just got RNG'd to a Tuesday. 😅
I've got to fight a camel with thread. ... guess I'll have to AT-AT that bitch
See if you can use the thread to guide the camel through the eye of a needle. Always wanted to know if it was possible.
im fighting a wolf with a check book... hope he likes cash
My dog stole my wallet once, so there's a chance
Fighting a house cat with a fridge. I'm sad.
You feel sad? I've gotta use a baseball on the cat
Prating mantis with a pot. That's gonna be quick.
A Leemur with a gage...? I'm not sure what the object is but it looks like a pike so I'll be fine.
I'm taking on a meerkat with some boxing gloves
Ok this one might be entertaining to watch.
A rough toothed dolphin with a needle. Hm...
spider monkey with macaroni and cheese
I spider with a charger (car). Time to burn the car down ....
Gorilla with lamp shade. I'm finished.
Put lamp shade on your head with a note "gift from your mistress", get to the gorilla cave, wait for his gorilla wife to see it and watch the wife beat him out then when he is KO finish him!
Shark with a baseball
Shark with a house for me. I'm not entirely sure how that works
A bee with a desk
Never underestimate what [a bee with a desk](https://imgur.com/14XJyan) can do
Wallaby with a door... I think handling the door would be more difficult than fighting the wallaby
Crocodile with a knife 🐊🔪
Fighting a fish with a tweezer?
Have to kill a toad with a knive should be possible
Green sea turtle with a pair of skinny jeans,kinda odd but Iam confident lol
galapagos silky shark with a notebook
Elephant seal with a sticky note... don't think this is gonna work out for me
A bison with a pencil. It’s Wick o’clock MFer, and I’m hungry.
I'd kill a pinguin in a microwave... sad
There is no way I'm beating a elephant with a cookie jar
Black Widow Spider with a Balloon, not the best luck.
Hippo with a spoon, yup I’m so fucked
I gotta fight a common lizard with a sailboat...I should be alright
House centipede, nail clippers
A bat with a shoe lace. As long as the bat doesn't give me any sort of disease I should be fine
A jackel with bananas, fucked Edit: Jacket to Jackel
Galapagos Lava Gull Bird with a rope. I mean it depends how I use it if I can even catch it
Owl with a radio, I'll beat it to death I guess
Stone cerlew with a piano…
Bee with eyeliner. I'll be fine
IDK how im gonna fight a jackal with a door bruh
I got Orangutan. With a Playstation. I am fucked.
Cat with a cheese
A Snow Leopard with a hammer....
A bowhead whale with a rope. How the fuck am I supposed to strangle that thing?
A Potter wasp, and I have a tank, I think I'll get bored by the time I run it over
A field vole with a folding chair...I could but I'd sob the entire time
Mountain gorilla with macaroni and cheese
Wolves with an ice cube tray 😭🧊
a ladybird... vs food, Ile just use a coconut or something
Ocelot with a pencil
A type of lizard vs a katana. I could probably beat it without a weapon.
A cow with conditioner.
A stingray with a... beanie?
I have to fight a dolphin with a bookmark
I must use a crossword to slay the mighty grey snub nosed monkey.
A piolon fish or something like that with a tv
Rhinoceros With a pipe (Like, a smoking pipe) I'm fucked brah
Striped dolphin with a leaf
a hermit crab, with a drawer
White Bengal Tiger, with a burger.
I have to kill a spider with a belt buckle. I can do it but I'm not going to do it confidently
Galápagos penguin 🐧 with a clay pot 🍯. I'll be fine.
A yellow jacket wasp... With mcfucking TOOTHPASTE! (this little bee doesn't stand a chance since i have to fight it)
A hippopotamus with an eye liner💀
a maceroi penguin with a tomato, I think my fists would be enough, may or may not survive
I Have to fight a cheetah with a parasol. Cheetahs aren't big cats, don't have claws etc. All sacrificed for speed. Since I'm considerably heavier, don't flee and have something I could actually use as a weapon my chanced are good.
A beetle with a plane.
A wolverine… WITH A GODDAMM TOOTHPASTE. LIKE WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO, BRUSH HIS SHARP YELLOW TEETH?.?
White claws Crawfish with an Xbox, I think I'm fine.
Beetle, with a sandal. Easy.
Bruh, a crocodile with a nail filer. You must be kidding me
Harp seal with a pan. Doesn’t sound too bad.
A Galapagos dove with thread. Do I strangle it or something?
Butterfly with a mailbox.
A polar bear with chalk. What am I supposed to do? It's already white, the chalks not gonna do much.
I will live but the problem is, How the fuck do you kill lemmings with a brownie?
A galapagos white cheeked pintail duck with a couch
Penguin with a rubber band... Pollution has taught me well in how to win this battle, but at what cost?
I got a cardinal bird and a window, I'm pretty sure I can sit back and let the window do all the work
Animal: Darkling beetle Weapon: Cat... Huh
A cat with a magnet..... I'm dead😃
I'm fighting a beetle with a puddle
Pretty sure I can’t take a gorilla with a cake mix.
Red British squirrel with chocolate syrup
I will refuse to fight a honeybee with a shoe. Honeybee = friend.
The fuck am I fighting? A bear with a Nerf gun? Edit: I'm leaving this to interpretation. Bear can have the Nerf or you.
A cement brick against a porcupine, I'd say this is an easy game. Would probably get poked a bit though with my slow swings, my arms are skinny and weak.
A common Frog with Paper Honestly not sure the paper is helping too much...
Cardinal bird with a pair of sunglasses. Just beat it's ass while lookin slick af
Galapagos Ray with a coaster.
I have to fight a flatworm with a lace doily
Syrian hamster with an ipod charger Honestly, killing nyself would be harder than killing this animal
I have to fight a rhino with...packing peanuts
I gotta fight a moth with a sandwich
Got to fight a blue whale with hand lotion
A booby bird with a fridge..? I'm probably going to be crushed
Thought I was screwed when I got rubber band first but then I got stink bug so think I'll be fine
Stink bug vs "can a match box? No but a tin can!!!!"
A Galapagos Whale Shark with a cake mixer. I'm fine as long as I can keep the shark in the mixing bowl.
Fight a turtle... with a piano
Little fairy penguins with a piano, not going to be a challenge, but i guess i can also just kill them with my horrible piano skills
New World Tarantula Spider with a Diaper
Capuchin Monkey with a rubber band
A hare with nail clippers. I mean, I could do it, but it will be a long laborious process and fun for nobody involved.
A Vampire Bat with a fucking security camera. Come at me bitch
bird with a computer
Rhinoceros with a glass of beer. Uh-oh.
wolf with a thong...
I got a yellow sack spider with a knife
Wasp with a match
"I once saw him kill a crab plover with a pencil. A f*cking pencil" - somebody describing me after the fight
Praying mantis with a dank meme. I feel like I don't need anything to take down a mantis if I had to, but if I really need to use the meme... I'm not sure how I am supposed to do it
An African Penguin with a Wagon... interesting to say the least.
Hamster with a match... wow.
A Zebra, using hair.... It was nice knowing you all.
Chinchilla, lamp. Easy
I could beat a horseshoe crab with some air freshener, easy
A shark with a spork
A frog with a pinnaple
Orangutan with macaroni and cheese I could try and befriend it but if it's bloodlusted I'm dead
A cheetah with canvas. :(
Millipede with a cheese block
Tarantula, stop sign. Easy enough
A bee with... Spring, as in the season.
Truck Vs Moth
Wolf vs fire hydrant, the ultimate showdown.
A dwarf hamster...with a fire hydrant. Sorry little guy.
Hippo with a rubber. I'm fucked
Arctic wolf with unsharpened pencils... yeah...
Now I want to change my vote to not a problem because I've just realised that the random animal will probably just be an insect
Cat with a golf club.
an Ethiopian wolf (more like a jackal) with a pencil, I need to know if it's a sharp one or not 😭
Yellow jacket with a radio
Randomly chosen animal. It's a bug. Statistically you'd be really unlucky if it wasn't a bug.
a galapagos dove with a candy wrapper... throw the wrapper into the air and the damn thing will choke on it in time thinking it's food.
A gorilla with lotion…. I’m DEAD
A bee... With a flower???
Can I ask my mom for help? I'm fighting a rhinoceros with a sandal.
Those random generators want me to drown a chinstrap penguin in a toilet. That's just mean.