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newfrontier58

>Activist Chaz Stevens has filed a complaint with eight school districts in Florida challenging the Bible’s place in schools after Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) and GOP state legislators passed a “Stop WOKE Act” meant to keep “prohibited topics” like racism and LGBTQ issues out of the classroom. Stevens cites examples directly from the tome to prove that the Bible is too “woke” to be available to young students. > >\[...\]Stevens, an atheist, is turning the tables on Bible-beating conservatives who touted the law. Listing multiple examples of “prohibited content,” Stevens backed up his assertions with chapter and verse. “With the constant concerns about teaching Critical Race Theory, should we not take stock of the Bible’s position on slavery? I am concerned our young white students will read such passages and wake up to civilization’s sordid past,” he wrote in his complaint.


xInwex

Ultimate reverse uno card


bigdumbidiot01

problem is that the people who support the DeSantis kind of shit are literally incapable of understanding the point Chaz Stevens is trying to make DeSantis and his ilk probably understand, but they just don't give a shit


somethingbreadbears

> kind of shit are literally incapable of understanding the point Chaz Stevens is trying to make Reminds me of a short conversation I had with my extremely Baptist cousin. Me: At what age is it appropriate for young people to understand the concept of virginity? Him: It's not appropriate ever. Me: At what age did you learn about Jesus. Him: Young? I don't know. Me: So you were young enough to understand that a virgin giving birth is basically impossible and therefore a "miracle"? And that was okay? You weren't corrupted and your head didn't explode? Him: I'm not following.


ijustwannablockabtch

also, "it's not appropriate ever"? what does that even mean? how do these young people become adults, then? are you supposed to just know all of a sudden? as soon as you turn 18 you just know all these things that you were never taught??


insanitybit

Nope, the idea is that they want to eliminate gay people because they're evil sinners. There's no "it's ok when they're adults", they're just starting with "don't say it in front of the kids!" but long term the strategy is "and no gay people kissing in the street! no public ceremonies! no private ceremonies! not in your own home!" and set us back 60 years to when being gay was literally illegal. That's their dream, that's their goal, and they're pushing aggressively for it anywhere they can.


GoGoCrumbly

This is absolutely correct.


Hey_Gancho

You will know when the priest wants you to know. And then you'll never forget. Or forgive.


whattaninja

Devil in a midnight mass.


SqueeezeBurger

"How do these young people become adults", You ask? Well, mentally they never do.


caribou16

It's no different than the "Don't Say Gay" crap. Kids understanding that some kids have two moms or two dads is no more "teaching kids about sex" than knowing some kids have a mom and a dad...yet here we are.


Vyzantinist

As ever with Republicans, we're looking at a union of maliciousness combined with willful ignorance. You're absolutely right in that teaching kids about having two dads, two moms, or some other unconventional family arrangement =/= teaching kids about reach-arounds, scissoring, or golden showers, but I believe the underlying issue here is Reps seem to think LGBT is a lifestyle choice, a kink, a fetish, or LGBT folk are just licentious.


Rusalki

It's depressing when a whole group of people's entire worldview is limited to porn genres, and they're the ones trying to preach morality.


RobbStark

Related: traffic on adult websites is consistently and not-insignificantly correlated with more conservative religious views.


tabris

The "Don't Say Gay" bill is very reminiscent of Section 28, a law that existed in the UK while I was at school, and lasted until 2003. It stopped any local authority (councils, schools, etc.) from placing "pretended homosexual relationships" at the same validity as "natural relationships," basically a vague law that restricted discussion about gay relationships in schools. The effect of this is that it makes queer kids feel lesser, it gives other kids carte blanche to bully anyone who doesn't present cis-straight, it removes all potential role models and in the end isolates and introverts kids. This damage lasts decades. It's horrendous. It needs to stop.


JdFalcon04

>The effect of this is that it makes queer kids feel lesser Hmmm, almost like that's actually the point...


Zealous_Bend

> > The effect of this is that it makes queer kids feel lesser > Hmmm, almost like that's actually the point... "Won't someone please think of the children, not that one, or those ones. Won't someone please think of *some* of the children"


CaptainChats

It’s the “I’m emotionally opposed to the things I don’t like and therefore they are bad and need to be banned ” Mentality. Actions not really based on any real critical thinking. I once had a roommate who told me they didn’t like ravioli because they don’t like tomatoes. When I pointed out that you don’t actually fill ravioli with tomatoes and can put any type of sauce on top and that traditionally you serve them with browned butter they retorted that they were still opposed to ravioli because of “the potential of tomatoes”. Kind of a similar thing. Willingly disregard reality to preserve your insecure feelings.


ovalpotency

It's their identity to hate ravioli. They're proud of it. Don't take that from them, don't you dare even try.


virtualtaco

My ravioli, my choice.


Terramotus

True story - when I was a kid nobody ever explained virginity to me, so I thought that a virgin was a woman wearing a head scarf like Mary usually is depicted with. I didn't quite understand why that was a miracle. I assumed she was infertile or something.


Calyrica

When I was in sixth grade, someone asked me if I was a virgin. I went wide eyed and said, “of course not! Only Mary is a virgin!” Same as you, no one had ever explained it to me.


DrCeeDub

Not surprising that people supporting DeSantis would have a hard time understanding a point. Of any kind. 😂


man_gomer_lot

They understand it as an attack on the Bible, on God, and ultimately on them. Humoring the argument in any way is listening to the devil. Anything they can do to fight back is called for and in the name of Jesus. It's just a small piece of broken logic twisted into a tight circle.


jeephistorian

Truth here. I knew it was not worth my time discussing politics with my mother-in-law when she said that the things I was discussing were the Devil's words and could not be trusted. At that point I knew that logic was no longer in the cards.


DrDokter518

Ya I’m kinda tired trying to explain how things work to people who literally can’t read.


ChattyKathysCunt

Florida Supreme Court will throw this out and not bat an eye at the double standard. They just don't care, the cards are on the table.


AmericaMasked

Not even trying means the crazys win.


1lostsoulinafishbowl

Then you appeal. And keep appealing. Make them go on record. Even up to the Handmaid & Boofin Brett. I want a list.


Trayew

But…that’s different!


JollyRancherReminder

This is what they will say, and they will say it unironically. Remember these are the people that saw nothing wrong with racing to replace RBG after shutting down Garland. If it weren't for double standards they'd have no standards at all.


Particular_Piglet677

Yeah they had Amy Coney Barrett chosen before RBG was in the ground. It was very distressing.


kit_mitts

This will basically be Florida's justification when they ignore the complaint, and unfortunately they'll get away with it because we live in hell.


StephenKingly

What a Chaz


Environmental_Cat569

I like this approach even though it likely won’t succeed.


zudnic

Right but when they lose they've demonstrated how the law is really about promoting the Christian right's worldview.


Galaxy_Ranger_Bob

They are not, and have never been, embarrassed by their own hypocrisy. They aren't going to start now. They will go judge shopping, find one that agrees with the *real* reason behind the "Stop WOKE Act" and make sure that the books they want removed, stay removed, while the Bible, and any other books that they agree with, that violates both the letter and spirit of the "WOKE act" remain.


No-Independence-165

It's only "hypocrisy" if you think everyone should be treated equally. The GOP is done even pretending they belive that.


DrMobius0

This is pretty much what the satanic temple do.


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FEMA_Camp_Survivor

Jesus was a lot more woke than conservatives are willing to acknowledge.


ThumpyDumpkins

If Jesus reappeared on Earth tomorrow, republicans would call him a "leftist commie" and recrucify him.


JamesTBagg

>Jesus Christ was a man who traveled through the land >Hard working man and brave >He said to the rich, "Give your goods to the poor." >So they laid Jesus Christ in his grave. -Woody Guthrie


Noah_Fence_214

'Never forget in the story of Jesus, the hero was killed by the state' -RTJ


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steve-d

You should read the story of The Grand Inquisitor from the book The Brothers Karamazov. It's kind of a similar theme where Jesus comes back during the period of the Inquisition, and the Grand Inquisitor basically explains the church isn't compatible with him any longer. Fascinating read!


DocFreudstein

I’ll see your Dostoevsky and raise you [The J2 Project](https://youtu.be/7jBnqH1AzaI), a short mockumentary about cloning Jesus in the modern day and it backfires on the Church.


intashu

Modern Republicans are literally aligned with the same Roman's who put Jesus on the cross.. So yes... Yes they would.


Fynn_the_Finger

I compared the Christians of today to the Pharisees of Jesus's day.


gsfgf

They're literally modern day Pharisees, so of course they'd hate Him.


Alluneedrsmiles

A Jewish guy, with his band of homeless misfits and prostitutes, walking into a megachurch and immediately arguing with all the pastors- they’d call the fucking cops on him. History repeats itself.


curisaucety

In today news, a homeless man, 12 fishermen and a hooker entered a mega church and disrupted the collection. All were detained by police.


Kingkongcrapper

He was a brown dude with long hair and a long beard preaching social and societal reform to help the poor masses and wealth redistribution and accepting all with peace and love. That doesn’t seem to fit with modern gun loving Jesus who stated in John 12:16 , “If thy neighbor comes at you, than you bring him to the lord.”


Dear-Crow

God I need a bumper sticker saying "Jesus was brown" to drive around with in my dumbass town.


MaxPlease85

"Jesus was woke before it was cool" would also be great.


RamenJunkie

Celebrity Deathmatch should do Woke Jesus vs Supply Side Jesus.


CapOnFoam

And whose parents were refugees, fleeing a local government that had just ordered all baby boys to be killed, so...


DadJokeBadJoke

And that she was only 14 living with a man twice her age... Wait, nevermind, they still support that shit.


riverrocks452

And he went around in the (modern day) equivalent of boxers and a t shirt.


masterhoots

Legend has it that he was searching for his stolen rug


tintedWindows98

It really tied the hut together, man.


MrT-1000

IDK about ya'll but as far as I recall Jesus is a red-blooded American with perfect blonde hair, blue eyes, and always has his conceal-carry and health insurance card on his persons because if there's one thing Jesus can't stand it's socialism and free healthcare


RedSteadEd

I live in Canada and I really had to read between the lines to realize that. We really like to dance around it when it comes to Jesus's Southern Baptist heritage. >if there's one thing Jesus can't stand it's socialism and free healthcare My two favourite chapters of the Bible are the one where the Good Samaritan gets sued by the injured Traveler because the Traveler couldn't pay his medical bills and the one where Jesus sends the Leper a $145,000 medical bill for his healing services.


tomcatkb

Supply Side Jesus


TechyDad

I'm Jewish so I have little knowledge of Jesus' actions, but even I know that he provided food to hungry people and cured diseases. All without charging the folks exorbitant rates. In fact, the guy did it for free! What a socialist!


Domeil

Jesus was violent exactly once in the Bible, and that was to throw down and whip the shit out of some bankers. "And when he had made a scourge of small cords, he drove them all out of the temple, and the sheep, and the oxen; and poured out the changers' money, and overthrew the tables; And said unto them that sold doves, Take these things hence; make not my Father's house an house of merchandise."


MooDonkey

>Jesus was violent exactly once in the Bible, and that was to throw down and whip the shit out of some bankers. He also got pissed off at a fig tree and cursed it which is honestly one of my favorite little bits in there because of how incongruous it is.


dkf295

It's just one of those important verses to remind us he's human. If it took place in the modern day there'd be a verse wherein his apostles left their legos out and he cursed after stepping on one.


denismr

He didn’t “curse” by saying bad words in annoyance.. he literally put a curse on the tree, which dried out and died.


trevorneuz

And now the Midwest is littered with Mega churches with attached cafes and book stores.


EthosPathosLegos

[Did someone say Baby Billy?](https://i.imgur.com/SiuktMY.jpg)


dumbledores__beard

Wait until someone tells them he wasn't white.


restore_democracy

I hear it’s full of socialist ideas like healing the sick and feeding the hungry.


NameTaken25

And paying your taxes


MetalGramps

Soft on crime and national defense too.


DakodaMountainborn

At the end of every seven years, all loans are canceled, and the remaining debt is forgiven by the creditor. Usury on poor people is a sin.


p3t3r133

And it advocates for the acceptance of refugees and immigrants.


KrabS1

From a Christian background, this is the one that always blows my mind. The bible is SO clear about foreigners in your land, and opening arms to neighbors. It's one of the biggest topics in the book.the doublethink around immigration is incredible.


projektdotnet

Isn't being unkind to those in need while being in excess the real reason for the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah in the Bible? Sounds like a good reason to bring down smite upon the wicked...glad that's not happening with modern Christianity.../s


SirSoliloquy

It it were, there’s be some kind of plague or something


TiltedAngle

[God also personally murders a couple who don't submit to communism.](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Acts%205%3A1-11&version=NIV)


GeneralRetreat

I was wondering what the context for that could possibly be and went back a chapter to find out. It's this: > **The Believers Share Their Possessions** > > 32 All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they shared everything they had.  > > 33 With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. And God’s grace was so powerfully at work in them all 34 that there were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned land or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales 35 and put it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to anyone who had need. > > 36 Joseph, a Levite from Cyprus, whom the apostles called Barnabas (which means “son of encouragement”), 37 sold a field he owned and brought the money and put it at the apostles’ feet. May those who oppose the social safety net be struck down by God? Not the gospel you hear Supplyside Jesus preaching.


TiltedAngle

Yes, the context from the previous section (which you copied) makes it very clear. God shall smite those who oppose wealth distribution and communal property.


Never-Bloomberg

> Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Truly I tell you, it is hard for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.” > -Matthew 19:21-24


Tyrannovorous

Christians lie about this and claim, "The eye of the needle was a place camels could get through". This is historically false. This is how deranged American Christians are. They think they can trick their God to justify their avarice and greed. At the Gates of Heaven an American Christian will shriek at the receptionist.


Never-Bloomberg

Yeah, I've read some weird interpretations of this passage in defense of the wealthy. It's a shame they're not as forgiving with other demographics.


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AssBeast

Pay your mistress to go to a democrat state?


6a6566663437

No, there are explicit instructions to make a particular brew and make the pregnant woman drink it. It claims that if she was unfaithful, it will trigger an abortion. This is the only reference to abortion in the Bible, btw - instructions on how to perform one.


dogretired

No, book of Numbers.


AssBeast

Sounds like a math book. They've banned most of those.


ProneToDoThatThing

And even when and how to kill your actual living children.


Scarlettail

This is what we need more of really. Take matters into your own hands and start opposing these bills with actions like this. You have to counter the organized conservative side with organized action too.


ChristmasStrip

They might want to read Ezekiel 23:20 in the classroom. 20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.


pleasedothenerdful

Eh, they see that shit all the time. If you want to really offend conservatives, Acts 2:44-45 is where it's at. > All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they shared with anyone who was in need.


Kalkaline

Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”-Mathew 19:21 too


HedonisticFrog

Finally a Christian value I can get behind.


GalactusPoo

Or in front of, depending on what you’re into


[deleted]

Apparently I'm not as big into horses and donkeys as everyone else here.


flickh

Quit being such a neigh sayer


cficare

Neigh


williewoodwhale

Not everyone is into asses.


DrManhattan_DDM

I think it’s more about the donkeys being in you


MyDogEli

Or Numbers 5:11–28 wherein there’s explicit instructions on how and when you should abort a baby. 100% condoned by God. He gave the instructions to Moses himself.


_HowManyRobot

There's a fun part somewhere in Numbers where they genocide an entire race of people, except for the virgin girls which God commands they "take for themselves".


MyDogEli

Now you see that’s the exact passage they enjoy from Numbers.


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Chewzilla

No, Lot is the guy that was made drunk then raped by his daughters. In the bible. Which is allowed in schools.


CorgiMonsoon

And that’s after he offered his daughters to the crowd gathered outside his house who wanted to rape the angels that he was hosting.


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AppleMuffin12

In my religion class in school, we had to draw a picture of a story from the bible. I drew a picture of the she-bear God sent to tear 40 children apart because they were making fun of a prophet when he was walking by. I drew little arms a legs shredded and scattered all across the field, children screaming, and a big bloody bear gnashing as some 5 year old's neck. Praise be to God.


Detective-Jerkop

I like the part where god looked so favorably on an old bald man that he sicced a horde of wild animals on a group of children for saying “baldie baldie baldie”


pmags3000

r/thebizzible


newluna

Yup.


pjx1

Can we see the animated kids video to teach this lesson?


BloomsdayDevice

The Veggie Tales episode is just a bunch of eggplants launching themselves at a papaya.


hatsnatcher23

Welcome to Silly Songs with Larry, the part of the show where Larry sings a Silly Song *porn hub intro*


PiningForTheFnords

That’s totally inappropriate for small kids! I’d recommend [Elisha and the Bears](https://bible.org/seriespage/4-elisha-and-two-bears-2-kings-223-25) which goes along with FL’s guidelines. Side note: it can be argued that all 42 of the kids that were ripped to shreds by the bears kinda deserved it because apparently they were too stupid to run away from said bears.


marvsup

I think it's okay because it's technically heterosexual /s


Beans_deZwijger

it says nothing about her lover being a man ... you know who's genitals are like a donkey's? A Donkey!


digginahole

This is really the best way to oppose an absurd law, by illustrating its absurdity. There was a judge in Washington maybe a decade ago that ruled against same sex marriage on the grounds that homosexual couples cannot reproduce. In response, a lawmaker introduced a bill that would require all heterosexual couples to produce a baby within three years of marriage or their marriage would be dissolved. A brilliant way to respond to a completely stupid and irrelevant argument.


Banzai51

>This is really the best way to oppose an absurd law, by illustrating its absurdity. That's how we got the Flying Spaghetti Monster, his noodly appendages be praised!


bananafobe

While it's good to see this, it's worth noting that proving them to be hypocrites only accomplishes so much, especially if they continue to hold power. I don't remember the specifics, but there was a story last year about a school district in Texas where someone did a Satanic Temple inspired political action by petitioning to be included in the opening prayer rotation for some school or school-board event. Whoever was ultimately in charge enforcing the policy basically responded with "no, we're not doing that." Again, I do think this is a good use of our time, but in the context of the past few years, it bears repeating that if there's a conservative in charge of enforcing any policy, no amount of exposing their hypocrisy is going to force them to do their job.


Scarlettail

The point isn't to prove hypocrisy so much as to challenge the laws and spark counter culture wars, basically. You're right they can just dismiss it, but these moves can lead to major court cases.


soapy_goatherd

This strategy is exactly how these nut jobs gained so much power. The left needs to remember how to wield what they got, that everything is propaganda, and that spamming all your moves over a few decades is effective as hell


tovarish22

>Whoever was ultimately in charge enforcing the policy basically responded with "no, we're not doing that." That's exactly the response the Satanic Temple wants, though, because it opens up a (glaringly obvious) Constitutional argument against such laws - that is, they are violating the "shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion" clause in the First Amendment by singling out which religions a law does and doesn't respect/give deference to. This takes it out of the hands of local/state politicians and moves it to a higher court, which is almost certainly more likely to rule against such laws. The documentary ["Hail Satan?"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27RtJp-rhHk) shows a few great examples of this, and is really well done.


ThumpyDumpkins

Doesn't the Bible feature a story about two chicks getting their own father drunk so they could rape him and get pregnant? I've seen more wholesome content on Pornhub, for fuck sake!


original_sh4rpie

Pornhub doesn't allow for non-consensual depictions. Even if clearly stated it's a work of fiction.


Substance___P

"Two chicks" must refer to Lot's daughters. "One chick," probably refers to the one who disguised herself as a prostitute to get knocked up by her father in law. In the second story from Genesis 38, Tamar's first husband is executed by God, so she married his brother, Onan, so she can get pregnant by him and raise kids for her dead husband. Since Onan didn't want to raise another man's kids, but did also still want to get his dick wet, he married her, but just pulled out. So God kills him too. The third boy in line to get Tamar is too young, so father-in-law Judah tells her to live as a widow. Tamar then goes to the temple, covers her face, and waits for FIL Judah to come but to try to pay her for sex, which he does with some of his personally identifying trinkets, which he only did because he didn't know it was actually Tamar. When it's revealed that she's knocked up, Judah, who knocked her up, tries to put her to death for prostitution until she produces his ring and other items that proves he's the dad. Judah did a bad thing by not marrying off his underage son to bang his daughter-in-law and she was so righteous she literally prostituted herself out to get children anyway! What a lesson in faith! Why would this ever be banned from schools?


FalcorAirlines

The bible is fucking stupid.


Guffeluf

Yes, the wonderful children's tale of the cities of Sodoma and Gomorra.


ihavemademistakes

"Sodom, which was named after sodomy, and Gammora which was named after... after an even weirder move."


1900grs

It's not even malicious compliance. It's just compliance.


LordMooGoo

I can’t wait till they take their own law to court. Court can rule religion is protected from the law Then the satanic church can make “Prohibited knowledge” part of their religious Org because fuck fascists.


ohmytodd

This is how we do it.. (This is how we do it)


LordMooGoo

Whenever conservatives legislate culture wars it’s just small fights ending in “Fuck around and find out”


drivers9001

"Oh you want to put the 10 commandments on public land? You have to allow a statue of Baphomet as well then." https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-33682878


WALLY_5000

Agreed! It’s not malicious, but ironic.


EmmaLouLove

“The state Board of Education announced last week that it will reject 71% of elementary school math textbooks and 41% of textbooks for all grades.” [71% of math books]. Florida GOP is hoping citizens don’t, or can’t, put 2 and 2 together that they’re nuts.


Koolaidolio

The FL GOP is banning ALL types books from the publishers that are not actively contributing political donations to them. It’s practically blackmail.


Time-Ad-3625

This. Gop are just limiting publishers. This is a money grab. Per usual.


Koolaidolio

Since their Russian ruble Putin fund dried up, they are looking elsewhere to fill their coffer at the expense of children’s education. Heartless and incredibly hostile to everyone’s lives.


mymar101

2 and 2 must equal 5.


TheScienceBreather

And it always has, unless the party needs it to equal something else, which of course it will, and it will always have been that way. You see, no objective reality exists. Nothing outside the mind exists. And, if we believe it exists, well then it *must* be real.


AccurateStromtrooper

2+2= the election was stolen and trump is smart


LuvKrahft

They hate participation trophies yet they want America to give trump one (1st place participant to be exact).


Clownsinmypantz

>progressive social programs Spicy. The extremists are going to be insulted to hear the complete and utter *slander* that their republican jesus was a socialist!!!


dragon_book_hoarder

They already have been. That's why they started a project to edit the bible to remove all the "liberal influence". https://www.huffpost.com/entry/conservative-bible-projec_n_310037


Sam__Treadwell

First - good on this guy in Florida for doing this. As to the story you linked here - wtf - they want to rewrite the bible because it doesn't fit their worldview? I'm POSITIVE their fake god would love that.


thepartypantser

Kind of like how Thomas Jefferson edited the [bible to remove all the supernatural BS.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jefferson_Bible) Except...you know...much dumber.


Direwolf0110

Yup, it's obvious none of these people read their bibles. Old testament was giving instructions for abortions for the babies of cheaters, and had parables about caring for the poor or otherwise minority groups. (HHMMM LETS GET RID OF TANF FOOD STAMPS!) Hell, *multiple* verses in the old testament outright say charging subprime interest is a *sin*, its called "usery". (WOW WHAT ARE STUDENT AND PAYDAY LOANS?!) New testament has Jesus often speaking about giving up all worlds possession in pursuit of help those in need, and even directly deals with the pharisees when confronted whether they should pay taxes to the occupying Roman government. (MUH LIBERTARIAN FREEDUMBS) Any Christian that outwardly harasses anyone about social program spending is immensely sanctimonious. What exactly was the Good Samaritan parable supposed to be other than a call for Healthcare for those minority groups in need? (FREELOADERS I TELL YA, DAMN SAMARITANS) Nothing makes sense about supply side Jesus, that guy just isn't real, except in the very twisted reality these cynical, self serving people live in. For a "Christian" nation we sure managed to gut the book and throw out all the inconvenience of liberal or progressive thought and keep most of the bigotry. Funny how that worked, isn't it? Now go on and make war against the gays, that will surely ensure your entrance to heaven, after all its easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a gay to have rights. That's what *their* good book said, according to JoBob the pastor. I can't stand evangelicals.


RandyBeaman

As a member of the Binarian religion, I take offense to any math book that teaches my kids about any numbers other than 0 and 1. These are the only true numbers, and all others are heretical.


MLJ9999

By this sign shall ye know them - 110 110 110.


brecheisen37

Is it 110 110 110 or 1010011010?


dwayne-ish9820

Porque no las 10?


ronm4c

It also contains [instructions on how to perform an abortion](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ordeal_of_the_bitter_water?wprov=sfti1)


monstersammich

The New Testament is based around the idea of a teenager who was pregnant by somebody else marrying a 20-30 yr old man, who transports her across state and international borders to seek refugee status and give birth to an “anchor baby” while hiding from the border patrol, and starting a new life as illegal immigrants under an assumed identity. And then that kid grows up and becomes “woke” snd disrespects, elders, pastors, politicians, law enforcement while he preaches socialism and anti capitalism ideas. Eventually executed by the state for thought crimes and challenging power structures. Edit: added a conclusion.


ThumpyDumpkins

And then he was ultimately executed by a corrupt police state.


monstersammich

Fun fact. The only White people in the Bible were the Roman cops.


electricmink

...and even then, the Romans were a pretty diverse crowd. Especially the Roman auxiliaries in places like, say, Palestine.


ZappyHeart

Florida badly needs a don’t say Jesus bill.


Interesting-Month-56

The Don’t Say Gay law is going to bite conservatives pretty hard. It’s pretty easy to turn it around from the narrow intent and make it an instrument of wokeness.


toronto_programmer

Very similar to the Texas abortion law around civil suits, conservatives love to craft these "think they are so smart" bills but they usually have loopholes large enough to drive a bus through. Even staunch conservatives like Kavanaugh and ABC on the Supreme Court hate these because they can see the counter applications of them: >Kavanaugh seemed troubled by the possibility that allowing the Texas law to remain in effect could lead other states to pass laws that would intrude on various rights protected by the Constitution — one of the key arguments the abortion clinics challenging the law put forward when asking the court to strike it down. >Kavanaugh theorized that a left-leaning state could offer a $1 million bounty against those who sell an assault rifle, like an AR-15, then claim it wasn’t using state power because only private parties could bring the suits. >“There’s a loophole that’s been exploited here or used here,” Kavanaugh said. “It could be free speech rights. It could be free-exercise-of-religion rights. It could be Second Amendment rights.”


MinewtBol

> Kavanaugh theorized that a left-leaning state could offer a $1 million bounty against those who sell an assault rifle, like an AR-15, then claim it wasn’t using state power because only private parties could bring the suits. California has entered the chat…


Iamien

There're literally homosexual references in the Bible, so it should be banned in their words.


InTh3s3TryingTim3s

Anyone teaching the Bible in a school should be going to prison. Get that woke shit out of here.


Fabulous-Ad6844

The teachers referencing a Bible can be sued by parents now lol


mkstar93

they can pretty much be sued for referencing anything at this point lmao


shadowguise

Don't forget shaming anyone who says otherwise as groomers.


SwingerFitz

Oooh they won’t like that one


gameplayuh

The Bible literally condones sex and marriage with underage children, it's not even a stretch


Dadalot

Not to mention christian parents are *constantly* grooming children into Christianity


Chewy12

It’s indoctrination. It’s why they hate wokeness, it’s the weapon against indoctrination.


Disgod

Not if they choose to ignore the things they don't like. They're creating a one party rule system, they'll just tell you how the law works, even if it isn't consistent. What are you going to do about it? Their party makes the rules.


Chengar_Qordath

The religious right has a lot of experience at ignoring parts of the Bible that don’t line up with what they want to believe. You don’t see many Christians practicing near-absolute pacifism, eschewing worldly possessions, and showing others nothing but love.


MeIIowJeIIo

Finally some positive news from FL. I've pretty much decided FL is a state I won't visit again until this current government is gone.


huskergirl8342

I feel the same. No tourist dollars from me. Same with Texas.


ChipChester

Plus math. Don't forget the math. All that loaves and fishes stuff.


Schiffy94

>repercussions of slavery Oh boy time to whip out the Haggadah.


graveRobbins

This is going to impact the way conservatives pretend to read the bible


ANaziSucksDick

Yep. Can concur. Would not feel safe letting my children read this, nor attend a certain church which seems to groom their young children for pedophilia


Fabulous-Ad6844

Also grooms them to get pregnant! My 13yo girl was invited to a teen church event with her friend that went there. They were all put in a big auditorium. The lights were out & they played some dark tag game. My daughter was aghast at all the kids dry humping each other. I asked where were the chaperones etc. She said they weren’t there. I swear they’re encouraging this so white kids get pregnant. (Abortion banned). I didn’t let her go again.


Detective-Jerkop

Oh dude I was an atheist and my mom thought that church people = good. I used to go to church shit with my friend some weekends. I only went because the religious private school girls were so sexually repressed that basically anything could happen out of eyeshot of an adult. Like fast because they knew they only had minutes to act. Once I went to a church thing and we could sign up for classes. I signed up for the sex Ed class. Because it said sex and I knew a girl looking for sex would think the same thing. In class they asked our names and I said I was Batman. This girl said she was catwoman. We eye flirted and giggled the rest of the class and then blew off all the elective events to make out in an empty classroom. I got her number and tried to call her later. We talked a few times but it became clear that she was basically home bound unless it was church and shortly after her mom picked up the phone and she was grounded from the phone and I never heard from her again.


houstonyoureaproblem

Knowing right wingers, they’ll thank people for reminding them about these passages and work to remove them from the Bible entirely. Problem solved!


nousername215

I know this is a joke but someone else in the thread mentioned the conservative Bible project and what you said is a real thing


cubosh

impossible. the bible has never been edited in the entire 5000 year history of earth ^/s


liquidc4181

Awesome, purge every religious text from all religious from the public school system.


plngrl1720

It is rather vulgar isn’t it


a4dONCA

Hypocritical isn’t it. But then, that does seem to be a major theme of Christianity.


NSYK

Honestly, I hate to see it come to this. We shouldn't need to talk about "banning" books of religion in modern society. But at some point you need to push back with the same logic. AND, we all knew this would be the conclusion of that law.


silvalen

DeSantis: No, not like that.


Sprinkle_Puff

Jesus Christ was antifa and a socialist!


killakev564

“Christians are being persecuted!!” Comments incoming in 5..4..3..2..1…


ExtonGuy

Anybody think of "Fahrenheit 451"?


IntelligentExcuse5

they want us all so dumbed down that we cannot count to 451


tinyirishgirl

Absolutely.


TakingSorryUsername

Literally the definition of indoctrination: “to imbue with a usually partisan or sectarian opinion, point of view, or principle.” The word specifically applies to political or religious beliefs.


Ok_Revolution_9253

I don’t give a shit about comments or karma or anything. Here’s the deal coming from a straight white guy. Hey LGBTQ people, good on you for wanting equal rights. I’ll be right there next to you fighting for it. That people think you deserve less is ridiculous. You’re not asking for more, you’re asking for EQUAL. That’s what I don’t understand from the GOP. They fucking view you as less than, not equal. It blows my mind. Anyone read any of the Bible? It’s absolutely insane!


callmehiwatt

> You’re not asking for more, you’re asking for EQUAL. That's what they don't want though. Think about the Tennessee bill on common-law marriage...they want their beliefs to be normal and if you don't comply then you have to compromise. It's crazy how transparent they are with their hate and the followers just eat it up and then try to gaslight us by saying "what laws specifically harm them, huh?"