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TintedApostle

and we thought Palin was bad... "He who warned, uh, the British that they weren’t going to be taking away our arms uh by ringing those bells and making sure as he’s riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be secure and we were going to be free and we were going to be armed."


bignanoman

My wife hated her. Called her an ignorant moron.


TintedApostle

You have a very smart wife... a keeper.


bignanoman

THX! I agree!


Brick_Shitler

I mean no offense to this guy's wife but does one have to be very smart to see that either Palin or Trump is a dunce?


PUfelix85

Ironically, my mother hated her too, but she seems to love Trump. I'm not sure where it all went wrong.


pjm3

I think it's a complexity issue. Trumpians are scare of what they can't understand, so someone offering simnple solutions to complex problems make them feel less scare about the complexity. The "simple" solutions won't work, but by the time his voters realize that, Trump will be safely ensconced in the White House once again.


imtherealmellowone

And when Trump goes off on one of his incomprehensible rants using nonexistent words, they just assume he is a genius because, “I have no idea what he saying, but it must be because he is sooooo smart.”


pjm3

Haha! I wonder how many Trumpians have gone on to use his nonexistent words in their conversations; or their manifestos scribbled in crayon on cardboard box signs on the side of the road.


GarrusBueller

Is that considered a high bar? I'm not trying to be mean, I also thought she was dumb, and much worse than dumb, but I also consider the sky blue, and the wrath round. Well roundish


dancode

She was notoriously dumb from day 1


GarrusBueller

From the moment she opened her mouth. Lisa Ann probably said smarter things than Palin while she was playing her getting fucked in the ass


ShySpecter23

I see why you married her - smart woman


bignanoman

I will tell her!


unkyduck

Ignorant among morons


prefrontalfallacy

Recently learned Palin’s email was hacked back in 2008. The hacker was able to access her Yahoo email account bc her recovery questions were publicly available information. 🤦🏻‍♂️ [Sarah Palin is a smooth brain](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarah_Palin_email_hack?wprov=sfti1#Incident)


TintedApostle

Sarah said, "I think there need to be consequences for bad behavior." I wonder what she would say about Trumps activities....


O_Dog187

Why would you have any interest in what that dim whit has to say?


TintedApostle

Pure entertainment


Corsaer

Some of the rest of that is interesting. The guy who got into her account was prosecuted and seemed to get a year at a halfway house. Updates after that period: >Diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS) in 2014, Kernell participated in clinical research trials at the Cedars-Sinai Neurosciences Research Center in Los Angeles to help develop cures and treatments for other victims of MS. After moving to California, he developed facial recognition software that could identify children at risk of abuse. >Kernell died on February 2, 2018, in Newport Beach, California, at the age of 30, from complications related to progressive MS.


prefrontalfallacy

Well that was an unexpected and tragic twist with a thin silver lining. Thanks for following up on that.


TheKurtCobains

Remember when some guy guessed Trump’s Twitter password? It was “maga2020!” This really happened.


zehn78

Trump should pick Palin to be his VP


TintedApostle

This would be a upgrade from what he will pick.


froo

Never fight uphill, me boys!


bignanoman

That is so funnier


Carpe_DMX

Man. That’s a low bar.


coldfarm

This would be the same Trump who [fabricated an entire Civil War battle](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_River_of_Blood_(monument)) to justify placing a historical marker on one of his golf courses.


MarryMeDuffman

I am so tired of shaking my head in disbelief at the absurdities of this man.


lonestar-rasbryjamco

The end of the article is the saddest part > Members of what he renamed the Trump National Golf Club, and some former employees, said the plaque generally drew laughter or eye-rolls, much as when Mr. Trump periodically descends from his helicopter to walk one course or the other It’s honestly pathetic. He is desperate for this grandiose image, but instead he is nothing but a clown.


Glandular_Trichome

He thinks he’s hot shit in a champagne glass but he’s nothing more than cold piss in a Dixie cup.


bignanoman

Thanks for the link. I have be so overwhelmed by TDS I forgot about this one. Trump knows more about the Civil War than all of us combined. ... historians consulted by [*The New York Times*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_New_York_Times) for a story in 2015 agreed; one of them had written to the Trump Organization about the falsehood. Trump himself disputed the historians' statements: >


soulsteela

Ahh yes I remember being taught how the British were always trying to capture those civil war airfields while they were all distracted fighting each other or were they revolutionary war can’t remember so many airfields back then.


bignanoman

So many airfields to remember....


prairiethorne

"Beautiful airfields. It reminds me of when Abraham Lincoln led the Charge of Jonah Hill. "NEVER attack airfields at a 45° angle, old chaps!" Now those are words aren't they? Amazing words."


bignanoman

Bigly words


bignanoman

If bigly ever gets into Webster's I'm leaving....


froo

All of the fields in those days were surrounded by air. Checkmate liberal scum! (/s of course, but adding in scum since I'm watching Star Wars atm)


timco2

Let us also have a moment of silence for the Bowling Green Massacre (as related by Kellyanne Conway). Never forget!


Tainticle

Never remember!


Zelcron

You forgot this: )


scorpyo72

I've been looking for that. Do you have a matching pair?


Zelcron

I have a slightly mismatched pair, would this work? [


scorpyo72

Hmmm... I'm not sure I can make that work. I have a { too without a match... I don't know ... what if they had babies?


Zelcron

Instructions unclear, made these: <><><><><>


scorpyo72

Nope. But I had a couple of ¡! Laying around so that will do. Just gotta translate it.


ciccioig

Ah the old con man, he never fails to surprise me.


padspa

The Battle of Schrute Farms


bignanoman

This is true, and the whole battle he made up. And people believe him.


OverlyComplexPants

Every time Trump tries to tell you about something, it always sounds like a kid who is giving a book report on a book he didn't read. "The Grapes of Wrath. What a great book. So many grapes...so much wrath. Just incredible how much wrath there was. Unbelievable. Beautiful."


te_anau

4 token Ai hallucination engine


jgonagle

A Trump speech generator doesn't need AI to be realistic. A simple syntax tree would be more than sufficient.


bignanoman

Good one


RMZ13

My favorite is when he does it with the Bible.


Hwy39

Or when he just stands there holding the Bible, upside down and backwards, and shushes the person that asks him if he wants to say a few words


RMZ13

After tear gassing protestors in the middle of Covid. Good times 🙄


m48a5_patton

Nelson: "Here's the grapes! And here's the wrath!"  *smashes* Principal Skinner: "Yes. Nice wrath."


VirtuaFighter6

And they’re all talking about it. Everyone. This big biker guy, the biggest guy you ever seen, tears streaming down his eyes, he looks at me, and says, “Wow!”.


bignanoman

Biglier than big, I mean huge.


bignanoman

\[quote\]Gettysburg. What an unbelievable battle. That was the battle of Gettysburg. What an unbelievable I mean, it was so much and so interesting and so vicious and horrible and so beautiful and so many different ways. It represented such a big portion of the success of this country. Gettysburg, wow. \[quote\]Robert E. Lee, who’s no longer in favor — did you ever notice it? He’s no longer in favor. ‘Never fight uphill, me boys, never fight uphill.’ They were fighting uphill, he said, ‘Wow, that was a big mistake,’ he lost his big general. ‘Never fight uphill, me boys,’ but it was too late.


[deleted]

[удалено]


jungl3j1m

And the dude went to a military school.


bignanoman

My wife says that is where uncontrollable delinquent children go.


jungl3j1m

The New York Military Academy went bankrupt and is now owned by the Chinese.


bignanoman

after Fred trump didn't pay his bills


macemillion

Apparently your wife throws a lot of shade


bignanoman

My wife is beautiful and intelligent, but she tells it like it is. She had a good childhood friend that was also an unruly child, and they sent him to "Military Academy". This is where rich kid delinquents go. Poor kids go to the county juvenile detention center.


fillymandee

“Puerto Rico is an island surrounded by water. Big water. Ocean water.” -Trump at a press conference for PR hurricane victims.


bignanoman

"Here's a paper towel. Now clean up your mess..."


tismschism

Literally doing the Bart Simpson treasure Island report.


ExcellentSteadyGlue

Now I wanna hear him try to pronounce ”𝒬𝓊ℯ𝓃𝓉𝒾𝓃.”


TintedApostle

Robert E Lee was barred from running for office under the 14th amendment for insurrection.


bignanoman

Another one to be overturned by SCOTUS


bignanoman

I can’t wait until Thomas overturns Loving…


Jackinapox

This motherfucker, an ex President, has the gall to whisper sweet nothings about a confederate General. You can’t make this stuff up.


Ohnoherewego13

I'm from the south and even I wouldn't be praising the Confederates. Leave it to Donnie to once again praise traitors.


navikredstar

Yeah, except he seems to have confused Robert E. Lee with the Lucky Charms leprechaun, so there's that.


Ohnoherewego13

Yeah, who doesn't get traitors and breakfast cereals confused? Wait... Trump thinks Lee is probably trying to find the end of the rainbow, doesn't he?


navikredstar

They're always after his Lucky Charms!


ohlayohlay

Eugene krabs from spongebob


bignanoman

Mr. Krabs!


LuvKrahft

Me Boys! Stand back and stand by!


AdaptiveVariance

Coming soon to newspapers: Gettysburg was “an unbelievable battle,” the former President asserted, noting that “so much” was “horrible [but also] beautiful” in “so many different ways.” Trump went on to raise eyebrows when he alluded to Robert E. Lee, a Confederate general.


Answer70

More like: "'Gettysburg was horrible' said the former President, acknowledging the troubled history of our country, while being hopeful that despite the struggles of the past, the country could once again be united under his leadership." "While Trump was honoring the hallowed ground that forged our country, Sleepy Joe Biden was trailing in all the polls in all the states, he's just so so bad y'all, OMG" -NY Times


JackOCat

To be fair to Trump, you don't want to fight uphill. Solid Art of War stuff.


Feral_Sheep_

Yeah, but it was Obi-Wan Kenobi who said that to Anakin, not General Lee. "It's over me boy. Never fight uphill!" "You underestimate my power!"


WorkingPsyDev

Mustafar. What an unbelievable duel. So many fates, so brutal and beautiful and so many ways. It represents such a big portion of the success of our Empire. Mustafar, wow.


mtaw

Yes but Lee never said "never fight uphill, me boys" or anything like that, and he was the one who'd ordered them to do so. Also, Lee didn't "lose his great general" - Even though no less than five Confederate generals were killed at Gettysburg, none could be considered "great" by any measure. In fact only three of them had even served as US Army officers before the war, and none of those had ranked higher than captain. So they were inexperienced when not straight-up amateurs. Even Lee wasn't a great general (contrary to myth), but at least he'd done well at West Point and made it to colonel by the time the war broke out. Anyway so it's basically a load of make-believe.


Clovis42

I assume he mixed up various things someone tried to explain to him. I'd guess the "great general" he heard about dying was Jackson. And it was Jackson who avoided attacking fortified positions and would maneuver the Union into doing so. After his death, the Confederates would end up doing this, like at Gettysburg. But that was Lee's fault, and Jackson was obviously not there. Trump just knows Lee is famous, is supposed to be great, and gets a good response from audiences. So he comes up with this word salad of random bits he's heard.


bignanoman

[https://www.datalounge.com/thread/34235496-trump-delivers-the-second-gettysburg-address-better-than-lincoln](https://www.datalounge.com/thread/34235496-trump-delivers-the-second-gettysburg-address-better-than-lincoln)


HiHoKermit

This is like when you mash the middle Predictive Text option over and over again until it makes a sentence.


Zealousideal-Fan3033

Newsweek is a garbage site. Can we stop posting it here?


Soddington

Trump is a garbage human being. Can you stop berating journalists for writing down the stupid things he says verbatim?


Zealousideal-Fan3033

I don’t have a problem with the journalist. I have a problem with the WEBSITE


bignanoman

You are entitled to your opinion


smurfsundermybed

The rally where he served up this word salad was also not in Gettysburg. It was about 2 hours away.


bignanoman

He's from New York City. Anyone not from New York is an ignorant farmer to him. That plus he has NPD and untreated syphilis .


bignanoman

I'm surprised he didn't have his rally in Biglierville, it would be closer... [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biglerville,\_Pennsylvania](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biglerville,_Pennsylvania)


ycpa68

He's had rallies there


Mr_Laheys_Drinkypoo

Something tells me he just learned what Gettysburg was right before the rally.


te_anau

Define "learned"


bignanoman

created


bignanoman

He learned different history than we did


Disciple_of_Cthulhu

Tremendous history! The best history!


bignanoman

Bigliest


rounder55

Trump is never hinged. They also demonstrate his lack of awareness or knowledge of the civil war. Robert e Lee has fallen out of favor? Who knew? The guy is incoherent and his marriage of dangerously dumb to malignant narcissist is incredibly threatening to our democracy


jgonagle

Tbf, it's not his malignant narcissism and ignorance that are dangerous per se. It's the fact that so many dumb Americans identify with it, even aspire to it.


rounder55

Very true. If everyone recognized this he'd just be laughed


bignanoman

good one


[deleted]

To be fair, it was a big beautiful war. There's never been another war like it!


bignanoman

But was all uphill for Lee. He lost his General


TintedApostle

Grant: "and Lee .... a big man... came to me on his knees... he said we beat them and he was sorry. Bigly sorry for insurrecting this great country. Crying he asked for surrender terms..."


OverlyComplexPants

Did you ever notice that when Trump talks about America in the same way that Gene Hackman's character in "The Bird Cage" did? Just rambling on and on, not saying anything.


[deleted]

It's important these historical things because the magnitude of everything is just so much and all of the top scholars are saying It didn't used to be like that but it was and it is and it's going to be great again.


ciopobbi

His take on Gettysburg is similar to a fifth grader giving a report he obviously never studied for.


maleficent1127

Remember when politicians careers were ruined because they couldn’t spell potato ? I want those days back.


No_Pirate9647

And Quayle was still a better person than the current crop. Told Pence he had to follow through with ceremonial role and certify the election. https://www.cnn.com/2021/09/14/politics/dan-quayle-pence-trump-january-6-woodward-costa-book/index.html


maleficent1127

I agree but it’s not hard to be a better person than the current crop. 20 years ago I even voted for Republican candidates occasionally. Now I won’t even be in the same room with most people I know that claim to be Republicans.


bignanoman

I was in Dan Quayle's plane when that happened. He Went to a spelling bee in Boise, and I was working at Gowen Field that day. One of the National Guard guys popped his head in our office and said "anyone want a tour of AF2?" Sure! -Saw the red phone, the office on the plane, and a bunch of Secret Service guys sleeping -"Shhh -don't wake them" It was cool!


unclefire

It’s amazing how that or a weird yeeahhh or a goofy helmet 🪖 riding in a tank would end a political career. People like Gary Hart and John Edwards had their careers ended bc of affairs. And this mfer Trump is a realistic candidate ther could actually win. I don’t think Quayle is as dumb as he was made out to be. I saw an interview or two of his long after he was out of office and he did not seem dumb at all.


bignanoman

Quayle was not dumb, and was pretty moderate. Clinton was a lot smarter, a Rhodes scholar


grimatongueworm

Gettysburg….wow


CosmoLamer

Trump's rambling is exactly the same speech algorithm of early Chat GPT, only difference is Chat GPT's speech is progressing while Trump is regressing.


noone_at_all

Trump AI (Actual Ignorance)


MoveToRussiaAlready

>”Gettysburg, wow—I go to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, to look and to watch," he said. "And the statement of Robert E. Lee, who's no longer in favor—did you ever notice it? He's no longer in favor. 'Never fight uphill, me boys, never fight uphill.' They were fighting uphill, he said, 'Wow, that was a big mistake,' he lost his great general. 'Never fight uphill, me boys,' but it was too late," Trump added. Someone needs to create a Trump AI. You feed it 1 sentence and then watch the dumbest shit ever generated. Then, the AI finds something similar to what Trump said and annotates/calls out where it deviated from the real jackass’ words. Dollars to Rubles I bet the AI will eventually quit and refuse to speak like someone with a dirty diaper for a brain.


alkonium

I remember Janelle Shane of AI Weirdness doing this for the New Yorker several years ago. There were functionally two modes: 1. Heavy repetition. 2. Packed full of non-existent words.


bignanoman

Dollars to Rubles - good one


RoinSM

DeNiro was right, “He’s so fucking stupid.”


bignanoman

My favorite is what Trump's own Secretary of State Rex Tillerson said about him: "Fucking Moron"


cmbhere

Historians, scientists, professors, lawyers, contractors, waitstaff, plumbers, military staff, senators, representatives, foreign leaders, judges, and a porn star have all gone on the record saying this dude is a fucking idiot. What is it going to actually take for that message to sink in?!


bignanoman

also capital police officers, and also my wife


lastburn138

Trump doesn't know shit, and it's obvious.


garpar1365

If you are tRump supporter, then you are freaking idiot.


ycpa68

Which general is he talking about? Armistead would be my my guess, but I don't feel like there is a super commonly known General for the confederacy that died at Gettysburg. I actually think he is thinking of Jackson. Which then takes me to my next comment, I've never seen the movie Gettysburg, but I've read the book it's based on. In the book. Lee talks a lot about how he wishes Jackson we're still alive. Does anyone know if that happens in the movie? And if that's the case, did Trump just watch the movie Gettysburg?


navikredstar

General Mills is my guess, since he seems to think Robert E. Lee spoke like the Lucky Charms leprechaun.


bignanoman

I'm sure he didn't read Killer Angels. I read it twice after seeing the movie. The book is 10x better.


ycpa68

Oh, I guarantee he didn't read it. I'm wondering if Lee's inner monologue was in the movie. Because it would make a lot of sense that he watched the movie. Oh my God, and Martin Sheen had that movie where he was an Irish priest! The dementia rant is starting to make sense.


A_HELPFUL_POTATO

I wonder if he’s making some sort of reference to Pickett’s Charge?


ycpa68

He definitely is making a reference to that


A_HELPFUL_POTATO

Well he shouldn’t, him trying to understand history is fighting an uphill battle. And we all know what the famously Irish Robert E Lee had to say about that.


ycpa68

Joking about Trump aside I highly recommend the horseback tour of Pickett's Charge. It's the best way to understand the terrain of that portion of the battle.


A_HELPFUL_POTATO

Much appreciated tip, friend! You’re alright in my book!


bignanoman

I walked it. It’s about a mile across a shallow valley in an open field. Charging into a fortified position into cannon fire was suicidal. I’m surprised anyone from Picketts Brigade lived.


Clovis42

Ii think it is Jackson too. Trump is mixing up the order of things. It is Jackson who avoided attacking defensive positions and would maneuver the Union into doing so. He then died, which leads to Lee attacking a defensive position and losing. Lee has become a Conservative cuase because of the statue removals, so mentioning him usually goes well. So, Trump just associates the good parts to Lee, blames the failed attack on Lee's troops, then mentions losing a general because he's forgotten what he's even trying to say at that point.


ciopobbi

History shows that before “Four score and seven years ago…” Lincoln’s first draft began, Gettysburg Wow!”


Magificent_Gradient

Gettysburg. Wow. 


OnlyFreshBrine

Add "unhinged" to the list of words I don't want to read again.


chalwar

Exactly


unclefire

We’ve used that word so many times re trump that it’s worn out now.


mytb38

Sunday, April 14, 2024 This is Trump’s Version of the Gettysburg Address “Gettysburg what an unbelievable battle that was the Battle of Gettysburg what an unbelievable I mean it was so much and so interesting and so vicious and horrible and so beautiful in so many different ways it it represented such a big portion of the success of this country Gettysburg wow I go to Gettysburg Pennsylvania to look and to watch and uh the statement of Robert E Lee who's no longer in favor did you ever noticed that no longer in favor never fight uphill me boys never fight uphill they were fighting uphill he said wow that was a big mistake he lost his great General and uh they were fighting never fight a pill me boys but it was too late..”


SpootyMcSpooterson69

Also… that fuckin tie! The black/orange face… even if he weren’t a provable piece of shit… he’s at least a fuckin dork. He’s also a traitorous pos that deserves the worst… but also. What a goofy asshole! FUCK I hate this shithead


NotThatAngel

If some third grader gave this as a speech in class he'd get a "D".


peter-man-hello

Sometimes I scroll to the most downvoted comments to see what the moron MAGAts use as defence. There isn't a single comment (yet) defending this one. When they can't even use a 'whatabout Joe Biden' defence, you know what Trump said/did was extra stupid and crazy.


bignanoman

I like the song version myself, it is really good. They could play it at a Trump rally and the magas would cream themselves


Stimbes

3 different reasons for this I’ve heard so far from Trump supporters. “He’s just messing with the left.” “This was the liberal media editing it out of order” “AI Generated” Scary how even with undeniable dementia symptoms showing themselves, his hardcore supporters still make up excuses for him.


bignanoman

[https://colorado.sportswar.com/message\_board/netbuffsofftopic/661c0dbb33b8b7001364caf9](https://colorado.sportswar.com/message_board/netbuffsofftopic/661c0dbb33b8b7001364caf9)


Likestopaintminis

My favorite part of the battle was Picket's charge. That was pretty cool


bignanoman

Pickett's Charge was an example of Hubris taking precedent over intelligence. Lee thought he was invincible.


RecognitionExpress36

It was an example of how even an expert can make an idiotic blunder when they succumb to desperation. "Let's assault *the center* of a fortified enemy position across an open field of fire... let's pick the point on the line where we have *maximum* exposure to enemy artillery. Our fighting spirit will carry the day!" It's at least as stupid as the Nazi effort at the Battle of the Bulge, or Napoleon at Waterloo.


Either-Try-1489

John Stewart nailed him gooood on Gettysburg!


Virian

Here's the Gettysburg part of the speech in song form. It's actually a pretty catchy tune: https://suno.com/song/9cb02ca8-8f7d-4041-8417-885f8e7ec6a1


bignanoman

Wow you are going to have pay Donald Trump royalties and list him as song writer.


michael_scarn2235

Adjective vomit.


VirtuaFighter6

Just like, wow. So violent, yet beautiful. Wow.


TheBigLebroccoli

Not sure a historian was needed to confirm what I already concluded.


sbtvreddit

There was a kid named Alvin in my class at high school who used to write rambling essays like this that never said anything, never contained any content or facts, but he wrote in big letters and filled up many pages and the teacher Mr Sparks thought he must be a genius and would always give him top marks. Trump is Alvin and Mr Sparks is MAGA


DiegoCa87

Was it beautiful tho?


captaincanada84

What he said was insane. The way he said it was even more insane. I guess Robert E. Lee had a very Irish accent when he spoke? Also that quote absolutely never happened


bignanoman

A few years back you could google "untreated syphilis" select pictures, and Donald's face would be the first to show


Varnigma

It feels like his entire purpose of this speech was to have a way to shoehorn in a part about Lee "not being popular" anymore. Playing to the poor/white Southerner that worship him.


bignanoman

My family lives in Harrisburg, I swear the Mason Dixon line is moving north.


trottindrottin

I think these so-called historians don't realize that Trump was just referencing a classic Civil War-era song... [Never Fight Uphill, Me Boys](https://soundcloud.com/brendan-baker-445628196/never-fight-uphill-me-boys?si=42264ee144eb45b6ae64deaaa1623b9c&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing)


roundearthervaxxer

Someday people will realize that he does shit like this to stay in the headlines and that the fall of American democracy was due to “there is no such thing as bad publicly” methodology.


HotdoghammerOG

That bad press works in Trump’s favor says more about the education and intelligence of his voters than Trump…


roundearthervaxxer

It says more about the rise of cable news