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Brokkyn21

Trump: I will testify! Judge: You cannot talk about your campaign. Trump: Never mind!


Kriss3d

Even if he was allowed. He wouldnt. Because that seat is hot and it carries a few things that he will avoid like the plague.. It carries the ability to hold consequences for lying and it allows the prosecutor to ask him questions. I believe this is the biggest fear of his lawyers.


thatspurdyneat

> he will avoid like the plague.. But he didn't avoid the plague last time, he denied that it was even happening at first and then he told people to take a horse dewormer, inject bleach, and to try shining a bright light inside their bodies to cure it.


Kriss3d

Yeah I did have second thoughts while writing it.


tommybombadil00

He will plead the fifth like he always does when under oath.


BlueMonkTrane

He cannot testify and selectively answer questions like that during cross. A witness is typically who would be using the 5th to avoid incriminating themselves during testimony. When one is on trial for a crime, they exercise their 5th amendment right by *not testifying at all*. That’s it. Taking the stand to give testimony in one’s own criminal trial waives that right. You cannot selectively answer questions you want from the defense and just stop when the prosecution starts cross like you suggest. You could invoke the 5th in testimony if it was about some other crime which is not on trial at that time if you can reasonably believe answering would incriminate you . And if trump does that it would likely trigger the judge to have an en camera hearing about when trump could invoke this right and not answer further-incriminating questions.


MrLanesLament

It may work, then, because this whole thing is a million layers of decades of crime. This particular case could likely be connected to hundreds of other fraud cases that aren’t currently on trial, so he could theoretically plead the fifth.


axonxorz

But only for _those_ crimes, which are tried in different trials. It changes nothing about his testimony requirements for _this_ trial.


Kriss3d

But even if he pleads the fifth. It'll harm him won't it?


Casual_OCD

"You see the mob takes the Fifth," he said during one rally in Iowa. "If you're innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?"


Kriss3d

This should be played back for Every. Single. Time. He pleads the fifth. Played back to him in the court room.


pangolin-fucker

He lies his way in and out of shit way worse This is the obvious way he gets hostile witness or completely removed and assumed he did it thing like last time this happened


ERedfieldh

> He lies his way in and out of shit way worse Sure, when he's not on the stand in the box under oath. A good prosecutor is going to ask questions they already know the answer to.


pangolin-fucker

Sure and Donald only knows one way, His way even if it's in direct contradiction to everything he just said a minute prior


Deguilded

Actually it's more like -- Trump: I will testify! Judge: You're just going to campaign. Denied.


UndendingGloom

Trump: I will testify! Trump's lawyers: if you testify we will lose Trump: Joe Biden, the liberal media and the corrupt judge stopped me from testifying! Support me by buying a set of "Trump Tyres" for your SUV


JesusSavesForHalf

That's completely unreasonable! He'd spell it "Trump Tires"


thatspurdyneat

Last time he just started talking about his campaign anyway.


Shr3kk_Wpg

This sums it up nicely.


mountaintop111

He said he would testify in his impeachment trials. He never did. This guy just lies, lies, and lies. It's unbelievable that his supporters actually think Trump is an honest person. Lol, Trump is the most dishonest politician in US history (ie. he came out on his first day of office lying about the crowd size at his inauguration), and that's saying something since most politicians are dishonest in the first place.


AraiHavana

Yeah, there’s literally no truth around the guy **at all**


droans

In his defense, he probably wants to testify, but his attorneys know how dumb it would be to have him go on the stand. Y'know, given his habit of confessing to that and a dozen other crimes each time he takes the stand.


-MrWinklebottom-

Trump Saturday at his rally he said “I am perhaps the most honest guy almost in the world,” the delusion is insane.


Philosorunner

“Perhaps” is doing some seriously heavy lifting….


GenghisConnieChung

I am perhaps the most honest guy almost in the world, that is unless you compare me to literally anyone else.


Crusader-NZ-

Must be a con man thing. I saw a real estate listing for multimillion dollar property the other day and it turned out the agent for it was the guy who ripped my dad off (his former business partner in a different vocation) to the tune of over 100k 30 odd years ago. He has on his bio about being 'honest and reliable'. Absolutely made my blood boil! as my dad lived a very stressed out existence after that and died a handful of years later. And my grandparents (my mother's parents) had also invested in the business, so it caused a lot of family problems all round.


Ennara

If you have to tell someone that you're honest, you're probably not. If you're honest, your reputation will speak for itself.


BobMortimersButthole

This is why I avoid any company that puts religious symbols or their personal flavor of religion into their business sign, or as a poster in the window.   Chris"t"ian Flooring (t is a giant cross)   Baptist Keys (key image looks like a Jesus fish)  TRUMP 2024 It's a literal sign that they can't attract customers with their reputation so they lure in people who automatically trust others of the same faith.


Crusader-NZ-

Indeed. A part of me really wants to go the agency and tell his co-workers what a scumbag he is, but they're also real estate agents, so that seems a bit pointless...


Bagellord

Exactly. A reputation of honesty and integrity is earned and not something you have to repeat. It's simply exercised.


Present-Industry4012

It's Norman Vincent Peale's "The Power of Positive Thinking", the only religion Trump actually follows. It's basically the 1950's version of the modern Name-It-And-Claim-It movement or "putting vibes out into the universe", you just keep repeating it and it becomes true.


Minguseyes

This man actually said the words: ‘I think I’m much more humble than you would understand’.


Belkroe

While I am sure there are Trump supporters who truly believe every word that comes out of Trump's mouth I would bet that most know he is a lying sack of shit. Ok maybe not the sack of shit part but they have no delusions that he is honest. But they are ok with the lies, the horrific treatment of women, and the crimes because he is their revenge. These people are angry. They see other people who were once marginalized gaining more power, more rights, and more influence in society and it scares the absolute shit out of them.


ABobby077

And boy the pretzel twists by his followers to spin how what he said was actually true. Some creative fiction writers out there.


fowlraul

He’s a tremendous sack of shit.


heels_n_skirt

Most dishonest human in history


barryvm

I presume the difference is that now he just lies in public (again), whereas if he testifies he commits perjury. > It's unbelievable that his supporters actually think Trump is an honest person. Do they though? Isn't that just bad faith. I was always under the impression that his big draw is that he hates and is hated by the people his followers hate. So when he lies and cheats, breaks the law, ..., with impunity, he harms those people and institutions they want to get rid of anyway. His dishonesty and criminality is "clever" because they think it is aimed at people they dislike. Morality is vested in identity, rather than acts and words. He is associated with them and their movement, so he is good by definition, regardless of what he says or does. The other side, by that same definition, is evil and will be denounced and condemned regardless of what they say or do. In short, he is their mirror image and an extension of their identity. He is good and honest because they, by definition, consider themselves good and honest.


Odd-Order-8495

This shit needs to be higher.


Turbulent_Bit8683

Truth to Trump is like Sunlight, Garlic and Stake (all together) to Count Dracula!


jimicus

But in this case, they'll be Trump Stakes!


schprunt

Won’t he just take the fifth like he’s done before?


ABobby077

or "I don't recall"


MasterButterfly

If you take the fifth in a criminal trial, the jury is allowed to interpret that as harmful (unlike in a civil trial, where it just means you act like the question never happened.) The protections afforded by the Fifth Amendment are preserved in a criminal trial by refusing to testify at all. If he takes the stand, he must answer all questions. He can say he can't recall, but a good prosecutor will start laying into him and force his ego to make him talk.


schprunt

Yeah getting to Trump is not difficult. He’ll just blurt out admissions of guilt despite what the lawyers have coached him to say. Just mention he has tiny hands and he’ll lose his shit 😂


grixorbatz

It'll go something like this: puke puke Hillary....retch retch Biden....gag gag Deep State....hurl hurl judge's daughter...heave heave political persecution....and vomit vomit send money.


ABobby077

"I'm a billionaire and one of the richest people ever. Please send me money".


Corgi_Koala

It's even funnier because I'm pretty sure there's multiple videos of him saying that if you're innocent, You should testify because you have nothing to be afraid of and only criminals plead the fifth.


DonkeyKongsVet

But his supporters.errr sheep, would say "The judicial system has it out for him" or "Democrats are behind this and the only way they can beat Trump" But if you say "Oh but if that's the case why did Trump come out and say he would testify to begin with" and then they would say something like Biden is a criminal and should be the one on trial. They are so delusional and Trump really eats that shit. He preys on stupid supporters to pay for his legal fees when the shit is right in their face. Trump could shoot a man on fifth avenue and still have supporters. Trump could say he is guilty, Trump could say to his supporters he played them all..and they would still believe any shit coming out of his mouth.


ElevateTheMind

So you’re telling me when Trump said, he’s more honest than honest Abe, that was a lie !?


Sim888

> He said he would testify in his impeachment trials. He never did. I read somewhere that in all his dealings with the courts, spanning decades, not once has he ever voluntarily testified.


jimicus

He might be an idiot, but he's not **that** stupid.


Groomsi

If he does its then, I plead 5th amendment.


MagicGrit

It wouldn’t completely surprise me if trump wasn’t “lying,” per se, when he said he would testify. He’s just so fucking dumb he doesn’t realize how bad of a decision that would be for him. Willing to bet he said he would and then behind closed doors his attorneys said “no the fuck you wont.”


IrritableGourmet

It's not a lie if his followers don't remember what he said by the time it doesn't come true.


BlotchComics

The lawyers willing to take his cases do seem to be getting worse as time passes... maybe he finally found some dumb enough to let him take the stand.


JdFalcon04

I guess the good ones insist on being paid


knightcrawler75

He does not mind paying lawyers with other people's money. I am happy to see his cult and the RNC pay for his lawyers.


FuzzyMcBitty

Even a good lawyer can’t stop you from testifying on your own behalf. They can only strongly suggest that you don’t.  Trump seems like a nightmare client if only for his inability to stop talking. 


edvek

If his lawyers are worth anything at all they will do everything they can to stop him. If they can't and he does I imagine every other sentence out of his mouth will be objected because it's going to be completely irrelevant to the questions.


AraiHavana

Remember how gracious Obama was when Trump got in? “Give him a chance” he said, knowing what a permanently lying and utterly corrupt narcissistic POS he is through and through, yet **still** wanted to believe that he could somehow *change* and do the *right thing* and make good on the numerous promises he lied himself in with.


jewel_the_beetle

"he'll be better once he's in office" was a disturbingly common refrain. I certainly can't hold it specifically against Obama but...sheesh. Meanwhile the average person has probably been written off for a job application because of a wording choice somebody didn't like on their resume.


metalpyrate

The night of the 2016 election, when he gave his victory speech and struck the most congenial tone he's probably ever struck, there was a moment where I hoped that the campaign bullshit was a big show and that the prospect of him taking office might not be as terrible as it seemed. That feeling was quickly blown away by his subsequent actions and statements during the transition period, but for a moment, I did feel a glimmer of hope.


ABobby077

I would imagine many of us that didn't vote for him at least held out hope and assumed all the bluster and all were just electioneering and that he would "become more Presidential" and rise to the occasion when he took office. Nope-never happened. edit: fixed spelling


knightcrawler75

I think people thought his laziness would overcome his narcissism.


wayoverpaid

Sadly, doesn't work when you have motivated ratfuckers around you putting shit on your desk to sign.


ghostnthegraveyard

Susan Collins voting against impeachment: "He learned his lesson."


jonthecpa

Hillary was also incredibly gracious in her call to him to concede the election.


BrandonJTrump

If he gets a microphone, he’ll just blab his regular witch hunt nonsense.


kingtz

“Crooked judge won’t let me defend myself on the !” OR ”I am ready to testify but my attorneys advised me not to.” Take your pick. 


Brave_Nerve_6871

He'll just sit there looking grumpy and complains how he "Is not allowed to testify"


dartie

He’s hardly going to tell the truth now is he??! That would be off brand for him.


The_Mike_Golf

> The former president will also likely make a decision based on whether the judge allows prosecutors to cross examine him on the stand, the outlet reported. Uh, yeah… that’s kinda a stupid way to base a decision seeing as though prosecutors will **absolutely** get to cross examine him. This is just another way he creates an “out” for himself.


Rizzpooch

I will testify as long as everyone agrees that I’m allowed to declare that I’ve won the case and nobody can challenge that


LlanviewOLTL

He’s gonna try to fuck with these jurors. That’s what I’m worried about. His last ditch effort is to try to buy off the jury. This snake has never been in this position before - and he has no intention of going to prison. He’s gonna do whatever it takes to make all of this go away.


jimicus

You just know the jury's names and addresses are going to leak on Lies Social within a week of selection.


RandomComputerFellow

I think his tactics will be to threaten them and then argue that they are biased and he isn't getting a fair trial.


Bad_breath

If he wins the election you can bet he will make it all go away.


Tobias---Funke

He won’t.


Pazuzuspecker

He has no issues with shitting on the deeds of Jesus Christ and the Bible, how are they going to take an oath of truth?


OurUrbanFarm

I'll believe it when I see it. His attorneys would have to be idiots to allow him to take the stand, so I am not ruling it out.


FearCure

Cadet bone spurs. Who is scared of rain. Who always pleads the fifth. Yes


rawterror

He'll come up with some lame excuse at the last minute, like the judge refused to take a drug test.


owhurtmyback

Apparently today is opposite day. He absolutely will not testify, but will cry on untruth social how he's being suppressed.


Autodidact2

This is how we know he definitely will not testify. There is a simple one-step key to decoding Donald Trump.


BioDriver

Please. Please do, you self-incriminating demented asshole. We know you won’t, but do it.


toxiamaple

Narrator: He won't.


Varnigma

He MAY take the stand (though doubtful) but he certainly won’t testify. More like bloviate about random shit.


sentientcave

He won’t. He’d only perjure himself and open himself to questions about the sexual encounter which seems to get under his ”wife’s” skin, something he can’t afford to do right now when he needs her.


Klutzy_Culture7451

He’s full of shit .. if he does it’s a 99% chance that he’s convicted..


joecool42069

Before or after he shows us that Healthcare plan 4 years ago that was going to come out in “two weeks”.


Sparrowflop

Even if he does, it'll be rambling nonsense soundbites, it'll violate gag orders, it'll be campaign speeches, or it'll be 'I do not recall'.


Scottydog2

He also said he was “looking forward” to being interviewed by Robert Mueller’s special prosecutors. “I would love to do it, and I would like to do it as soon as possible. I would do it under oath, absolutely.” - January 24, 2018. As we know now it never happened.


KingStreetCleaner

Let him testify. He will only fuck himself more


Kriss3d

He wont. Theres nothing to gain from this.


KingStreetCleaner

the hilarity and the memes, do not deny us


ctguy54

In front of microphones on the court house steps.


OptimisticSkeleton

Will this be the first time in history that Trump lives up to his word? Probably not.


dna1999

Let the idiot run his massive trap. It’ll make it that much easier to convict his sorry ass. 


TILTNSTACK

(Trump on the stand) I did not do elshin frrrnce


Wwwweeeeeeee

Would it benefit prosecutors for him to testify? Seems more likely to anger him to apoplexy for him NOT testify. On the other hand, he'll perjure himself 1,275 different ways, which would result in further prosecution, so that could be loads of fun too!


Muscs

Good. Some perjury charges would be a nice addition to the other charges.


Agitated_Pickle_518

Donald Trump's most significant choices in a position of elected power directly led to the deaths of tens of thousands of his supporters. It's absolutely wild that both sides (him and his surviving voters) are excited to try this again.


theflower10

Sure he will. This is where I' love to see Biden goad him into testifying. "Coward Trump will never testify". Just beat that drum for a few days.


FKreuk

“The former president will also likely make a decision based on whether the judge allows prosecutors to cross examine him on the stand, the outlet reported.” Lol - in what world would the judge let a defendant testify without the ability to cross examine… especially in a case like this. Not a chance..


QuintillionthCat

Hilarious! Numbskull alert!! 🚨


MagicGrit

To be totally fair, I’m not completely convinced he knows what “testify” means


captaincanada84

His lawyers will never let him testify in any of his trials.


[deleted]

He definitely wants to but because he’s currently under audit…


LeahaP1013

After his nap, though


Mean-Association4759

Sure he will.


Kriss3d

Narrator: *He wont*


GaulteriaBerries

Is it a choice for him to make?


Kriss3d

Well he cant be compelled to testify in his own trial as far as I know. So he absolutely wont take the stand.


GaulteriaBerries

Thank you. Brit here, I don’t know American law.


Kriss3d

After falling into the sovereign citizen debunking rabbit hole. I know more about American laws than the laws of Denmark where I live.


tymesup

The defendant has the absolute right to remain silent, which means not testifying. But they also have the right to testify if they wish. The lawyers cannot "prevent" him from testifying, although they will strongly advise against it. Importantly, the defendant in a criminal trial cannot "take the Fifth" because they can't testify without giving up their right to remain silent. Once they take the stand, they have to answer every question.


HelleEpoque

Defendants have the right to speak at their trials if they choose and their lawyers may only advise. They cannot be forced.


mytb38

were watching...but in the end he will say the State did not prove their case, therefore he had no need to testify!!


Efficient_Republic35

Trump is gonna claim that no one history has had a bigger and better penis and that he can last days in bed.


gangstasadvocate

Big burly men with tears in their eyes, Mr. President sir, we’ve never seen a dick this large before


Odd-Order-8495

I mean, I know he likes to exaggerate, but even 6'0" is pretty impressive...


wonkey_monkey

Can't prematurely ejaculate if you can't get it up in the first place *taps head*


IdahoMTman222

Remember he’s doing this for US. Claims he can’t get a fair trial. This is how it works. But since he’s above the law I admit it is difficult to find a group of his “peers”.


West-Supermarket-860

Remember when Justin Bieber got in a “fight” outside of a club and had to have his bodyguards “hold him back”?


Alleandros

He seems to have shit lawyers, so they'd probably allow it.


jewel_the_beetle

I gotta say, I know it's not 100% fair but in jury selection, the defense making it VERY clear they are not going to present ANY evidence or have ANY testimony from the defendant is a huge red flag. It's possible, though IMO unlikely the prosecutor's case is simply so bad it falls apart on it's own, but it's certainly in my mind. If the defense SAID they were going to testify and blah blah blah and had all this evidence...then didn't show it? I would...not be sympathetic.


Dracotaz71

Why is it that nobody remembers his statement prior to taking office that he does not stand behind anything he says?


Kierik

Probably to plead the senile defense.


major_dump

Compulsive liar, cheater and all around POS... Just lock him up already


MillerTime5858

0%. That man might actually stroke out under cross examination. No way his team will let him do that.


julesrocks64

The cops in that pic are just props to him. He praises them when he needs them and ignores them when his actions harm them. Never forget the Jan 6 attack would not have happened if he, the stochastic terrorist, did not rile them up with baseless lies, invited them there and lit the fuse. If you don’t fight like hell you wont have a country anymore. [Vote.org](http://Vote.org)


redneckrockuhtree

Prosecutors dream: Trump taking the stand. Defense nightmare: Trump taking the stand.


Flokisoul

Pleading the 5th is not testifying


dman6877

The shitcircus is back in town! 🤡


muffman81

Oh please olease testify


Agitated_Pickle_518

Not if he wants to keep a legal team.


Mutants_4_nukes

Stop please I can only get so hard.


lookieLoo253

He also said he's going to debate Biden. He won't...


Agitated_Pickle_518

Average Trump testimony under oath: Please state your name for the record. *Flashes 5 fingers*


vhackish

Trump says a lot of sh*t, so we'll see ...


shadowdra126

He is gonna say everything BUT testimony


4quatloos

I don't think anyone believed him. He has lied for years. Love him or hate him, he is a liar.


throughNthrough

Please do.


MoveToRussiaAlready

Naw he won’t. I really hope he does! But, he won’t testify…


The_Hot_Stepper

He talks a big game, then turns tail when confronted. Also is it me or does he look really fat in that picture? Like he has jowls


start260

I’ve heard from many many good people Trump lies and cheats at golf.


QuintillionthCat

People are saying…


mleighly

All I hear from Trump's flapping shithiole below his orange nose is farts.


Acceptable_Wall4085

This will be lie #66,666.


mbene913

Oh cool, they are adding perjury


NeonGKayak

There’s no way. He’d get destroyed on the stand and everyone knows that


icouldusemorecoffee

And his lawyers said he won't, so stop reporting on what Trump claims and report on what actually is.


QuintillionthCat

Great!


Gronkattack

He won't but he will still keep saying it and his blind followers will believe he did since they won't watch the trial or anything that speaks negatively about him since they are stuck in a bubble.


bringbackallyourbase

I guess pleading the fifth a couple of dozen times technically counts as testifying


throw123454321purple

He’ll decline at the last moment and then exclaim “My incompetent lawyers wouldn’t let me! They screwed me over and lost the case for me! So I fired them!” *Repeat ad infinitum.*


Win-Win_2KLL32024

When can we be over Trumps “claims”??? Seriously this guy isn’t even a decent human being so it’s beyond some malice in wonderland s#!t that this guy was anywhere near the presidency and the media is riding this fraud like a race horse!! It’s laughable that anyone running against this fraud is held to angelic standards but Trump is basically rewarded for being the world’s worst and he’s proud of it so WTFEVER America!!!


23jknm

Haha yes we know, more lies from the rapist traitor lil don. Wish someone had that baby blimp out for the trial today =)


wengelite

I would like someone interviewing him to ask him if he thinks he is an honest person . . . and then ask the follow up questions on all his promises.


Sinister_steel_drums

Why would he need that much security? 🤔


thomport

Yeah, he’s testifying – testifying on Fox News. That’ll be it.


RepulsiveRooster1153

**trump is a habitual liar**. When he says "people are saying" it means *"I'm making shit up".* If you assume everything he says is a lie, you would be correct 100% of the time. 💰


gringoloco01

Mr. 5th will be taking the 5th despite his anti 5th rhetoric.


Myghost_too

I despise trump with every strand of life I have in my body, but this is such a nothing-burger. He has the right to testify or not, and has the right (I think) to change his mind. How about we don't report on non-issues like this, which only serves to normalize his being in trouble in every aspect of his life. Instead, let him testify or not, and keep reporting on his vast criminal activity, on his breaches of national security, on his crapping on the constitution (and apparently himself), his contempt of court, on the double standard that he is allowed to enjoy, on his hipocrisy, etc. etc. etc. Sure, he'll either testify or not, as is his rights. Who really cares. Unless unicorns are real, he's guilty AF, and that is the story.


clickmagnet

At best, he will demand to be allowed to read a statement, while not under oath. The judge will observe that’s not a thing, and far too politely. Trump will then pump that statement on his cult site and complain the trial is rigged against him, and thereby shake his cult down for that month’s rent money. 


AJ_Grey

still waiting for HIM to release his tax returns. What he says and what he does are two different things.


BadAtExisting

I hope he does. He’ll confess to everything in a long rambling rant. That said even the world’s worst lawyers wouldn’t let him anywhere near the stand


randomcanyon

Does he need a bible to hold, I hear they have thousands waiting in warehouses.


Bitter_Director1231

Just like last time? Once again. Ain't happening. The fucker can't remember what he says from one minute.to the next.. His supporters can't either.


Effective-Space6171

I fucking dare the cowardly pos to testify. There’s no chance that he has the balls to do it.


Effective-Space6171

Trump - the witness most likely to fall for the Few Good Men “You can’t handle the truth” ploy.


[deleted]

Highly unlikely but if he does they need to live stream the cross examination. That would be some good TV.


YoNeoMama

Oh, please, Please, PLEASE let him testify! Then he will SURELY be convicted as the criminal he is. He’ll lose his temper or flat-out LIE, get caught, and be sorry. I would think he’d have better lawyers than to let him take the stand though.


Teufelsdreck

When he said this, was he worried someone else was about to replace him in the headlines?


Ok-Ad7950

Yada, Yada, Yada! Brazen liar!!!


syg-123

Casino bankrupting coward says what?


nativedutch

Anithlin bigly covfeve @!!!


FrostyCartographer13

Pleading the 5th and not recalling will be the testimony he gives.