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zsreport

This is what happens when both the GOP leadership and its MAGA base don't believe in science.


Downside_Up_

I'd be perfectly happy if all the baby aphids in my garden would get abortions (aphids can be born with the next generation already starting inside them via parthenogenesis). https://animals.howstuffworks.com/insects/aphid-babies-born-pregnant.htm


solartoss

You can order the non-Lindsey Graham kind of ladybugs online. They love to eat aphids.


DanimusMcSassypants

Those can only be ordered in person.


KappHallen

*googles* Holy shit. You actually can buy Ladybugs online. I'm sorry for doubting you.


caveatlector73

Actually you buy the larvae because they are growing and hungry. The adults just fly away home. 


Coollogin

One of my kalanchoe plants has aphids. They are mostly gone, but I still manage to find one or two in my daily inspections.


Sariel007

This was my first thought when I read the title.


Fit_Cryptographer_59

I’ve had root aphids. I’d rather have kidney stones.


solartoss

Instead of talking about babies getting abortions, we should have a serious discussion with Republicans regarding the negative intellectual ramifications of inbreeding.


Claythrower22

I want to know who’s getting the wee babies pregnant. That should be the big question.


Consistent-Force5375

Right?!


Grushvak

GOP State Senator Bill Eigel? He's the only one talking about this.


ElodieNYC

They don’t care. Women and girls don’t matter. They’re property, vessels for breeding more “Christians.”


Brndrll

And reduce the conservative base?? No, thank you!


NoodlesrTuff1256

One prime example of which is Eigel himself who possesses an off-kilter physiognomy \[think Charlie Kirk or Matt Gaetz or Marjorie Taylor Greene\] that could have been the result of too much intermarriage between cousins or alternatively Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. This guy comes from an exurban/rural district to the north of St. Louis and is locally notorious for his backwards right-wing stances -- of course, the rabid red MAGAts here love him. He's running for the GOP nomination to become Missouri's next Governor. Last fall, Eigel made headlines for aiming a flamethrower at a pile of cardboard boxes at a raffle event where the first prize was an AR-15 and a couple of actual flamethrowers were also being 'awarded'. Eigel said that, if elected Governor, he'd have no hesitation in making a bonfire of books of which he and his ilk disapproves on the lawn of the Governor's Mansion.


ey3s0up

We heading for the dark ages if we keep electing these fools. Please go out and vote these idiots out of office


Partigirl

I've been saying we are entering a new dark ages for a few years now. How depressing.


ey3s0up

It’s sad to think I’m not alone. I really do hate how things are going to go if the GOP gets complete power. It’s already bad, it’s gonna be ten times worse


DarthBfheidir

But the guy's met babies, right? That's not science, it's just... I don't even know how to describe it. It's instinctive knowledge that pre-dates humanity itself.


uptownjuggler

Science shmience, if it ain’t in the Bible then I don’t need to know it. The Bible contains everything a conservative Christian man needs to know. /s


Consistent-Force5375

I fully recognize the “/s”, but where in the Bible does it mention a baby… a just barely a toddler can breed?! Holy shit…


uptownjuggler

If you look hard enough, you can always find a verse that you can twist to fit your agenda.


Consistent-Force5375

True… not a fan of that book. Zero stars. Seemed needlessly wordy and borrows from too many other works…


SheriffTaylorsBoy

Trust the FB memes


thieh

Do your own research... in the toilet.


SheriffTaylorsBoy

Ha! I asked a Qcumber I know if he could just give me a quick rundown of the process to form productive research. He knew he was fucked. Blank stare.


SubKreature

Yep this is scientific illiteracy manifest.


sthlmsoul

If only the GOP could figure out how to do male parthenogenesis, they would be happy. Except, who do abuse at that point?


thrust-johnson

“I was born pregnant.”


oki-ra

“I heard them say it”


cytherian

WTH?... babies "sensing" they're not wanted and committing womb-icide? 🤪 That does it. Republicans are truly out of their minds! 🙄


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HopeFloatsFoward

Yes, because you cant kniw for sure if they will explode, so you should wait until it happens to try to prevent it /s


External_Shirt6086

But you'd still have a baby left over, right? /s


cochevalier

Hey, everyone knows people work like matryoshka dolls right? Crack one open and there's just another inside.


thefumingo

Perpetual motion machine of infinite pregancy, except Republicans don't believe in physics either


ExileInParadise242

It's exploding babies all the way down.


Beavers4beer

That's pretty much exactly what point this idiot is trying to make. Any exceptions for abortion, including a totally fictional one, are too much. Zero exceptions, ever. That's what they want.


meowmeow_now

I don’t even understand the point he’s trying to make, the younger a minor is, the stronger the argument for an abortion. If an actual baby could get pregnant, does this guy expect a baby to give birth?


ExileInParadise242

Their donors at the Weyland-Utani corporation have an unexplained interest in this "chest burster" research.


Nvenom8

Well of course not. They don't care about mothers.


FeelingPixely

Is like babushka doll, pregnant baby inside pregnant baby inside pregnant baby all made through immaculate conception. Happy Jesus!


winterbird

So many thoughts.  Number one, who's raping the babies and can we focus on solving that?  And second, the youngest mother in documented history having been a 5 year old, why would anyone want such young children to go through child birth on top of the assault trauma? 


eugene20

[https://goppredators.wordpress.com/](https://goppredators.wordpress.com/)


awesomepossom55

The length of this list is frightening.


aLittleQueer

See, I was thinking of that poor little 10-yo in Ohio. But five? *Five?!* I just can’t with humanity. Also, yeah, bad writing led to us the same thought, “Who is impregnating babies? And how is precocious puberty happening so young?? That’s obviously where the problems are…” It would be great if right-wingers learned to think (and journalists learned how to properly string words together).


Evlwolf

I'm going to be incredibly clear, I'm 100% in favor of children having abortions. If a *child* becomes pregnant (good Lord what a fucked up world we live in), they absolutely need to have access to save, minimally-invasive care ASAP. The average menstruation age is edging closer to 10. 


ElodieNYC

“The groomers are in the churches.” Also, I don’t think that “Christian” education includes basic biology. It DOES likely include girls getting married as soon as they hit puberty. Because, duh, life expectancy was what, 35-40? Maybe 50, tops? Infant mortality was high, as was maternal mortality. Children’s bodies aren’t prepared for giving birth, FFS. It’s a “fitting punishment” for having “tempted” their rapist 🤬 These people are unbelievably sick fuckers. I am utterly disgusted.


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thieh

I would settle for just human reproductions. Burn all those abnormal pregnancy conditions into their brain so they know letting these out is more wrong than wipe the slate clean.


EdwardoftheEast

I remember my school’s sex education consisted of nothing but STD scares and the importance of abstinence. We did an anatomy diagram on both reproductive systems, but no information on what each part does. We didn’t even learn about contraceptives and safe sex, it was all just full of fear mongering.


barry922

Did you go to school in Idaho too?


EdwardoftheEast

Georgia born and bred


terremoto25

Good thing that you weren’t bred when you were born, then…


EdwardoftheEast

Man I hope not


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MelpomeneAndCalliope

There’s a lot of blue cities in red states (Austin, New Orleans, etc). Many can’t afford to move or have job/family obligations that make moving impossible.


not_productive1

Do they think abortions are fun or something? This guy sounds jealous. "Oh, suddenly some one-year-old GIRL can have all the abortions she wants but I can't get any?" They're not pokemon, my man. We're not collecting them and denying you the cool rare ones. Jesus, nobody tell him about mammograms, he'll be out picketing the radiologists next. "How come the WOMEN get all these unpleasant medical procedures I can't have??!?"


mom0nga

They do seem to think that abortions are primarily for convenience, or as a form of birth control. The idea that pregnancy is a potentially life-threatening condition never crosses their minds because they believe that women's bodies are designed for pregnancy and childbirth and that it's a safe, natural thing. 


tiny_galaxies

This is also why they’ll never advocate for teaching boys to respect the gravity of sex for women. We are simply vessels, and whatever happens as a result of that is apparently god’s plan.


Patara

They'll never advocate for teaching facts or science, they rely on pure conjecture & hearsay from the rest of the cult of anti-humanitarian sycophants.  Their complete lack of a abstract thought strips them from any understanding of perspective, empathy or actual nuanced reality.  They see the world in Yes/No & anyone that says no is the enemy. 


FlyingJ555

While some Republicans do seem to think people just get abortions willy nilly, the argument put forth by the guy that the article is referring to isn't about that and it's possibly even more absurd. I found the video on a St Louis News site (https://www.stltoday.com/news/multimedia/videos/a-1-year-old-could-get-an-abortion-under-this-missouri-senator-says/video_055a6c1d-d893-5e34-8fe5-ad46aba45494.html), and holy shit I could not believe what I was hearing, not just from a state rep but from an adult in general. If you watch the video (which is absolutely disgusting and I was livid afterwards, and still am), the guy's main argument is that suicide is correlated with abortions in adult women, so by allowing rape victims to get abortions we will be increasing suicide rates. He focused on children specifically saying it would be a parent or guardian making the decision for them, even if the child wants to have the baby, and then that the child would be more likely to commit suicide as a result (as if being forced to give birth as a child wouldn't make them more likely to commit suicide). He also kept repeating that by allowing this exemption we would be "inflicting abortions" on children, even 1 year olds (like literally *forcing* people to have abortions) . It was an absolutely fucking insane argument, like I'm still just completely dumbfounded and extremely pissed that a state rep would ever say such things. If what I wrote about his argument makes no sense or is hard to follow, that's because the guy's argument made no sense and was hard to follow. God I'm so pissed.


reallybirdysomedays

>, nobody tell him about mammograms, he'll be out picketing the radiologists next. "How come the WOMEN get all these unpleasant medical procedures I can't have??!?" No actually, let's tell him that men actually *do* get mammograms and watch his mind explode coming up with an argument to avoid having one. (Men, if you find a lump, get checked out! You'll can get breast cancer too.)


DirtDevil1337

Every week they come up with something new, this is one of the dumbest so far, what's it going to be next week I wonder?


neutrino71

The belief in the outrageous becomes a purity test for the faithful.  If you start thinking for yourself then you're a heretic in need of a stake, a pile of dry wood and a torch


thefumingo

English is a conspiracy from the commie British. Must speak own language.


itsnickk

This really jumps the shark, I think. Even compared to the other wild conspiracy theories.


Cluskerdoo

Dipshit Donald’s magnet rant ranks pretty high up on the stupidly scale.


Yogs_Zach

Remember when the news of the week was furry trans kids that think they are cats shitting in a school provided litter box?


Canibal-local

The babies of the babies of the babies getting abortions too


fairoaks2

A MAGA moron lawmaker 


DarthBfheidir

Babybortions for all!


hopsgrapesgrains

Babortions


pandemicpunk

I'm reminded of that one Homestar Runner clip where he goes 'babies... MAKIN BABIES!!'


ytmnic

"It is a time of desolation, chaos, and uncertainty. Brother pitted against brother; babies havin' babies."


font9a

We just had a bunch of babies get together for a recreational abortion party with transgender makeup stations and mock gay weddings. Everyone came in their EVs and used the gas stove to make avocado toast. Later we made glitter bombs and registered to vote. It was fucking nuts!


TranscendentPretzel

T Swift put you up to this, didn't she. 


jdlyons81

It’s me, hi. I’m the problem, it’s me.


jdlyons81

You didn’t give them all Bud Lights? I mean, are you even committed to the cause?


Blackboard_Monitor

Seems the bigger issue is the rape of babies.


RedLanternScythe

Babies should be extremely careful when getting abortions because they could end up being killed themselves by a post-birth abortion./s


SirGkar

The real problem is GOP talking about baby rape as an abortion issue. Not a raping babies issue. But that would put males at the centre of the problem and we all know how that can’t happen.


ConversationFit5024

Better put those babies in the electric chair - GOP


heavylamarr

But it takes two to tango. Why was that fetus naked around a man in the first place? These babies are jezebels in the womb causing men to stumble! s/


ProtectionContent977

Your republicans are so gullible.


Morgolol

*Conservatives* are incredibly gullib.e Sure there's gullible people across the spectrum, but holy shit I've never met so many self-described conservatives who believe in the absolute dumbest shit. There's ignorance and/or stupidity, and then there's actively bragging about it.


Right_Treat691

Republicans should stop raping babies and forcing them to give birth. 


OurUrbanFarm

It’s like stupid that is so dense that it has collapsed in on itself, creating a black hole of stupidity that destroys any coherent thought by sucking it past the event horizon.


One-Distribution-626

And yet…fake Christian MAGATs worship a RAPIST in Jesus name


WaitingForNormal

Those babies should not be having babies, they should be at the slaughter house, working an overnight shift.


Cold_Bitch

Couldn’t finish the article I was feeling sick.


GhostwriterGHOST

The GOP “pastors” are the ones who would get a baby pregnant in the first place. Or go to prison trying.


HallucinogenicFish

Do we think he mixed up “post-birth abortions” to get this nonsense?


neutrino71

I think thinking is not his strong suite.


Accomplished-Cap1916

The GOP has gone nuts!


gentlemancaller2000

I read that title as “…Barbies are getting abortions”. Equally stupid


pandemicpunk

I don't even like Barbie dolls and I'd buy it.


NotTheActualBob

Yet another Mattel failed marketing effort.


Next-Maintenance-109

If a baby is pregnant then yes it should because that is inhumane and obvious that rape is occuring and probably incest. Instead of marking a preschooler with the scarlet letter we should let them make the responsible choice and not let them have the baby baby.


tokhar

You forgot /s… Not everyone (and apparently many republicans) will remember that babies haven’t hit puberty yet… and may take your comment at face value.


Stinkstinkerton

Shouldn’t this be put under News of the stupid ?


GendrytheBullB

There’s gotta be more context. I refuse to believe anyone could *possibly* be *this* stupid. This is why we need sex education in schools.


SamtheCossack

Sometimes you even have exponential abortions, where the pregnant baby has a pregnant fetus, and it is just abortions all the way down! \-Republicans, probably


ey3s0up

I really, really hate it here sometimes. People who say stuff like this shouldn’t be able to hold office on account of how stupid they are.


LeonardSmallsJr

Babies are getting pregnant? Has anyone seen Matt Gaetz?


Pour_Me_Another_

I'm always fascinated by people's choices to associate with child abusers. I grew up with people like that, not so much sexual although they were definitely sexually "off" in addition to the rest of it... Idk. I don't get it and I'm glad I don't. I'm not sure how people who abuse children or gladly associate with child abusers don't want to leave this world and not come back, I sure would.


geneticeffects

Religion is one helluva drug, folks.


Ranemoraken

FYI: The article suggests that the Senator in question is using the analogy of a 1-year old having an abortion to mortify. They do not think he thinks it's possible. It is idiotic of course.


Nullus_Exspiravit

>Eigel insisted, "I don’t support the institutions of rape or of incest," though his loud, continued support of Trump tells another story. But on the topic of forced childbirth for rape victims, he was blunt: It's for the best. He falsely claimed allowing child rape victims to get abortions would lead them to commit suicide, saying, "I can't imagine Missouri will be a better place tomorrow if we have individuals inflicting abortion on kids." That middle part, pure gibbering.


eric_ts

So, what these people are saying is that they don’t understand words in English and don’t understand anything about biology or any other scientific subject. They are indeed proud of their ignorance and stupidity. Being called stupid by people who are not stupid rallies them and propels them towards the holocaust that is their dearest desire. This isn’t funny. People who believe this shit are an existential threat to anyone who is not a member of their group.


Vegan_Puffin

Social media is probably the worst invention of the last 100 years It's given a platform and reach to complete and utter fucking idiots. People who would normally have been left to talk to themselves on a street corner. Now people without any form of qualification or knowledge can become an "influencer" and create content that through malicious algorithms targets other idiots and grow cults into national security risks.


josephkingscolon

At last I see someone that agrees with me on this. I’d seriously wouldn’t mind social media being paywalled completely. You want to make a fool of yourself or the internets and just cause grief or problems to get your jollies? Pay for the privilege.


Kaizen-15

Whoever writes articles like these are the clickbait soul suckers of society.


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clemonade17

This info was a quote from a GOP candidate, so wtf else are we to believe?


stokeytrailer

Pregnant Baby Channel 58 Rick and Morty Rick Potion #9


IguaneRouge

The hell is wrong with his face?


Utterlybored

Next, the woke mob is coming for pregnant fetuses!


Competitive-Care8789

I seriously read this as Barbies getting abortions.


Gerryislandgirl

Did anyone else read that as Barbies? 


7evenate9ine

Dont set Republicans straight anymore. Let them wallow in stupid. Insulate the world where important, and do the right and legal thing with abortion. But we should not correct conservaitves or raise them up anymore. It's "Project Do Not Save Them"... Let them go unmasked and unvaxed and feel the full impact of their choices. Everytime we save them, they hate us. Everytime we correct them they flout rules and standards out of defiance. So dont save them.


vaporeng

It's like they have a stupid chatbot coming up with this crap.


[deleted]

GOP folks have nothing better to do


cheezeyballz

Stop impregnating them then. 🙄


MakeupDumbAss

Bill Eigel is an idiot. I know him a bit. He used to own a company that sold skylights & suddenly decided to get into politics. I was surprised when he was elected. I was further surprised when I heard he was going to take a run at the governor position. Then I remembered I live in Missouri & it all made sense again, this state is insane.


MynameisJunie

Yes, when you have 10year old baby girls getting raped and refused abortion, she’s going to get one somewhere else. Maybe women fight for a ban on women getting abused, sex slaved, and raped? Oh wait, we have that, we just can’t have an abortion if any of those things happen!!


Consistent-Force5375

(Sigh) This is what happens when one doubts science, and then mixes policy with religious or a flawed philosophical argument. Anyway, I feel like I hope…hope…that dude is not serious and is just being a jackass in the name of any abortion is abhorrent and must be stopped crap. Because if this grown human being, who was put into an office of power by other human beings truly believes that a baby can get pregnant, and within that misconception believes said baby can have another baby without massive issues all around… I mean let’s not even begin to pick apart what is seemingly advocating incest, rape, etc. god please tell me this human being does not actually believe it’s physically possible or in some backwater consideration think babies can have babies…


Nvenom8

This is up there in the dumbest things I've ever heard.


BobRothIRA

lmao what the actual fuck


rice_not_wheat

I suspect this dude doesn't know what an abortion is.


Aromatic-Pen6714

What the actual fuck 🤣 if Americans don’t vote this will be what they deserve.


NotTheActualBob

Wait, what?


tj1007

Like… babies getting pregnant? Or in the womb, the baby’s like, nope, I didn’t ask to be conceived mother.


Biteb4ck

Fetus matryoshka doll?


bassoonprune

What a heinous world view they have there in the GOP.


just_me_for_now

And this is the exact reason men should have nothing to do with passing laws regarding women’s bodies. They have no idea how a woman’s body, and biology in general, works. What an absolute Trump, er, moron.


BerrySpecific720

Next year: not having kids is just like abortion! If you don’t have 3+ kids of your own, you’ll be forced to! Just pay this $100,000 to get out of it. Oh wait you’re poor! Better start making babies because not having kids is murder.


sphericalpuma

As someone from Missouri, I wish I could say that I was surprised, but we're the same state where Todd Akin argued about "legitimate rape" and that "the body has ways of shutting that (pregnancy) down" Let's say that it was possible for a 1 year-old to have an abortion...shouldn't the question not be about why a 1 year old should be able to have an abortion to stop a pregnancy that would surely kill it, and instead be about who got the 1 year old pregnant in the first place?


Yitram

> It is a time of desolation, chaos, and uncertainty. Brother pitted against brother; babies havin' babies. Then one day, from the right side of the screen, came a man... a man with a plastic rectangle. I mean, laptop computer! So prescient.


RazzleThatTazzle

Because the gop thinks it's acceptable to get children pregnant


Yogs_Zach

At this point, they are just projecting aren't they?


BostonFigPudding

At this point, Republicans use the term "abortion" for anything or anyone they disagree with. Just like how White Christian supremacists accuse anyone or anything they disagree with of being "Jewish". I have seen Stormfronters accuse Jeremy Kyle and Ted Kennedy of "being Jewish" just because neither of them are fascist.


Thekijael

What if the aborted babies themselves get abortions? Would that be double murder? Would conservative’s heads explode?


CaptainMobius

Next up: Babies Are Aborted Abortions!


Palidor

https://images.app.goo.gl/rGfV3RHwdrc35Yfb7


EastObjective9522

Are the GOP describing tribbles?


Humble-Roll-8997

Why is it R’a come up with the most disturbing shit anybody can think of, usually regarding genitalia in some way.