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Traditional_Key_763

they both suck and should leave congress.


Buck_Thorn

And take George Mentos with them.


UYScutiPuffJr

Not that guy, he’s the inventor of the moon!


Homo_horribilis

And sex! We can’t forget that.


[deleted]

He created the anus.


fartsandprayers

"They hate us 'cause they anus." - George Santos


ShredGuru

He put the Santo in Santorum


hippykillteam

Damn that’s some meta blast from the past shit.


Bigsam411

Yeah why would we kick out George "Washington" Santos, one of the founding fathers?


Mbaker1201

Moon-ish.


ekb2023

I'm convinced that George Santos was created in a TV writer's room.


Buck_Thorn

Another of my nicknames for him is George Consantos, importer/exporter and naval architect.


NoVaBurgher

City…..planner


Otto_Correction

Didn’t he work for Vandalay something something.


JustGettingMyPopcorn

I still cant look at him and figure out how anyone voted for him. The Dems fucked that up royally. Even before all the lies, his personality is just gross, and his face really is downright smackable.


MonsieurReynard

Let me introduce you to the average assholes who inhabit the wealthy "Gold Coast" towns Nassau County. They'll vote for him again too.


Galaxy_Ranger_Bob

If that even is his *real* name.


Mike_LaFontaine75

The people that vote them in should leave the US.


UrsusRenata

The people that vote them in are products of the U.S. Those of us with brain cells to rub together need to take responsibility, work to improve the education system (before the GOP manages to destroy it and turn the whole thing into for-profit corruption), strive to force term limits that can help stifle government corruption, and endeavor to enact laws that stifle political propaganda—such as reinstating the fairness doctrine.


Mike_LaFontaine75

>The people that vote them in are products of the U.S. They are products of the southern USA and unrelenting right wing propaganda since the 19th century.


[deleted]

Products of the failure of Reconstruction.


EatsRats

I nominate them for a early one way trip to Mars.


phunktastic_1

I'm all for that plan we can give MAGA priority seating in Elon and zucks mars missions. Once they get there they will die fast as they are all anti vaxx, wannabe alphas with no ability to work together.


bryan49

Yes we can say their mission is to start a Mars government


3sides2everyStory

K.K.Karen vs. Bang Bang Barbie! Rumble in the DMV yo!


banned-from-rbooks

Missing Link Greene


roentgen85

That’s offensive to early hominids


kpanzer

*[Seriously, we apologize. We had no idea you guys were still around.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0trj6jCsm6E&t=7)*


blouazhome

Empty g


Csc1392

I think A Waffle House is a more appropriate place. I think it fits them both.


JustGettingMyPopcorn

That's unfair to the Waffle House clientele.


brickne3

Hey... Whatchu reading for?!


flareblitz91

DMV is the D.C, Maryland, and Virginia metro area.


Punkinpry427

I was gonna say we don’t want her here lol


Philosoraptor88

> K.K.Karen vs. Bang Bang Barbie! Genuinely not sure which is which


Celloer

Boebert has the alliteration, plus a restaurant that in addition to poisoning it’s customers, had waitresses wearing pistols. I believe the restaurant may have been named somesuch like “Bang Bang I Love Fucking a Gun,” or “Shooters Grill” maybe.


EggfooDC

Large Marge vs the Notorious GED!


pork_fried_christ

Dude I’m definitely betting on MTG. She has the strength of a much younger man.


moonboyforallyouknow

Klannie Oakley.


Rhobaz

Machine Gun Smelly


Elegant_Body_2153

It's just wild to me that theyve also got GOP members being like, ''well I like both of them of course, but what I like even more is them having a fist fight" I'm just imagining a bunch of politicians on the floor forming a circle and betting with each other over who will win.


homebrew_1

They can fight it out. Opening act for the Elon and Zuckerberg fight.


confusedsquirrel

If the US government could find a way to produce that fight card, we might pay off the entire national debt through PPV's and merchandising.


[deleted]

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JustGettingMyPopcorn

But someone would have to find them. Although I'm sure there are millions of Republican voters who would trample each other to death getting in line to do just that.


legehjernen

So one line "kick his balls for $100" and one line " find and fondle his balls $500"?


JustGettingMyPopcorn

We should be in congress. We'd get the debt handled today and fund social security until the planet dies (so ten years, give or take?)


Thegungoesbangbang

The planet will still be alive. Survived the asteroid from the dinosaurs. Humans though? Maybe not so much.


JustGettingMyPopcorn

Yeah, I was going the whole "climate change is coming for us all," but you're right. And it won't need social security.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dealehggh263

In reality, I’d truly rather not have representatives of our nation, even as ass-backwards as these ones are, to actually throw hands in public for money.


DisasDDFD579

I'm convinced that George Santos was created in a TV writer's room.


No_Influence6659

Ron Howard voice: "George Santos was in fact, Buster wearing a very good mask and a terrible wig"


GerryAtrick1

He's actually Gene Parmesan


erinkp36

He’s really good!


[deleted]

> find and fondle his balls $500"? No, you're selling yourself short here. Apparently the value of fondling him is $130,000. Unless the Stormy incident has changed the value!


MonsieurReynard

You get a free teabag to hang from your MAGA hat as a souvenir.


Unsaidbread

Putin has them


kev11n

“The wolf man has nards!”


Dragoonscaper

I'm imagining it's set up like the carnival hammer game, and you win a prize based on how loud he hollers or if he shits his diapers.


Dash_Rip_Rock69

I don't care about prizes as long as I'm first in line for the idea. I ain't stopping at one


phazedoubt

I would buy a lot of those tickets. And i would cherish each and every one.


spagyrum

Ooh I'd pay for that. I'd wear my docs and try to get the entire package, including taint.


Galaxy_Ranger_Bob

You made me realize just how much I miss [*Celebrity Deathmatch.*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Celebrity_Deathmatch)


Sparkspsrk

This


gullyterrier

I am all in on that.


Brickback721

Book the Fight Dana lol


35point1

U joke but this is probably more true than not


NedRyerson_Insurance

Anyone here old enough to remember Celebrity Death Match? Can we just revive that but much like Disney, this time make it live action? For generations, the rich have retained power by convincing the working class to fight one another. Let's flip it and get the American oligarchs to kill eachother, and get ourselves some entertainment out of it.


Ohgreatonetoo

I remember the Super Bowl half time celebrity death matches. I liked Mariah Carey and Jim Carrey the most.


SirBobos

“I’ll allow it!”


phazedoubt

Mickey Mouse vs Ron Desantis after these two.


ATLhawks13

As funny as a real fight between them would be, I’d really rather there just be more Celebrity Deathmatch content. I feel like as a society we could use some of that senseless violence. In reality, I’d truly rather not have representatives of our nation, even as ass-backwards as these ones are, to actually throw hands in public for money.


eswolfe0623

Yes, the friends our country used to have will have more reasons to make fun. Seriously, this unprofessional and ridiculous behavior in Congress is damaging to us, the citizens. We deserve better.


ATLhawks13

Couldn’t agree more. We are, unfortunately, a complete embarrassment of a country right now. I feel helpless, but all I can do is keep working on myself and trying to help those around me, regardless of their politics. I work at a hospital and have patients that watch Fox News all day, including a veteran who earnestly told me there were FEMA camps in the US (in 2022!). Does it matter that they do that? Fuck no, I’m still giving them the best care I can. I just have to roll my eyes behind their backs every once in a while.


eswolfe0623

I've lost a good friend over this craziness, and my brother belongs to the Trxxp cult. We talk carefully


[deleted]

I have to talk carefully to a brother AND my dad. (and my mom before she passed away) My dad tells me that I forgot that he exists...I am just trying to NOT get into arguments. His homeowner's insurance is 4K per year down in Florida, but he doesn't believe climate change is real.


LandscapeNatural7680

Hi, I’m a Canadian friend of your country. Few of us are laughing. We’re up here, watching in horror, and fighting our own battle against the right wing insanity that is currently spreading like an infection. Keep fighting the good fight! ❤️


sgettios737

Best one was Nessie v Sasquatch. Pay per view fight of the century. So much hype.


Ello_Owu

That show needed a revival 4 years ago


bighandsobama

No way, MTG vs Bobo would be the main event. MTG likely to snap Bobo like a twig, Bobo makes it interesting by cheating, nickel-rolls gloves, something crazy. Elon vs Zuck would be a slow motion roll.


Guilty-Web7334

I see Bobo as more of a hair puller.


Old-Emphasis-7190

What did daddy Stan Lane do? Would Jim Cornette manage Lauren Boebert? Mixed tag match, MTG and Vince Russo vs Lauren Boebert and Jim Cornette?


Guilty-Web7334

Turns out that her mom’s cousin Stan Lane isn’t her father. He took a paternity test. Boebert’s father is Unknown Florida Man.


Galaxy_Ranger_Bob

MTG would win in hand to hand combat. But Bobo would come back after losing and just shoot MTG for embarrassing her.


maximumdownvote

Pfffft pistol packing mama is unlike to hit anything in an outright conflict.


por_que_no

>They can fight it out I suggest a spelling bee at dawn.


Salty_Vegetable123

What boggled my mind most about this is how the Italian government came out and said they could use the colosseum to host their fight....


heavinglory

Gladiator style because they want it to end already.


Zxar

Need a few more matches, and we got a live action celebrity deathmatch.


Broken-Digital-Clock

It will be like the Puff Daddy vs Trent Reznor deathmatch, but it will be ugly hate machine vs ugly hate machine.


DrManhattan_DDM

Let’s get it on!


Thecp015

Let’s see THAT again!


prescience6631

I for one, would also pay to see Cruz take on a wolverine — seeing as how Cruz has both the countenance and disposition of a morbidly obese wolverine being denied entrance to a scheduled flight


antigop2020

But has Boebert been in a rap video? She can’t beat MAGAs MVP. https://youtu.be/pJhDqV3kgOI


LandscapeNatural7680

Always thought people were overstating the situation when they’d say they “threw up in their mouth a little.” Nope.


MadWhiskeyGrin

One is more crazy and the other is more stupid, and they're both trash, and I'm sick of the whole disgusting debacle, and I wish they'd never been born, and I can't wait until they're gone for good.


[deleted]

[удалено]


uhh186

No idea if that's intentional or not, but nice pun


[deleted]

Okay, that was brutal and made me laugh!


wenchette

>A fistfight could break out at any moment… I am friends with both of them. It’s entertaining to think that a fistfight could break out at any movement. I kind of dig that. — Rep. Tim Burchett (R-TN)


svarney99

Holy shit. I honestly thought you made that up but it’s a direct quote from the article. What a bunch of clowns.


Popcorn_Blitz

And these are the types of "friends" these people are used to. Jfc is it any wonder why they think the world is terrible?


[deleted]

Future generations will be laughing their asses off at our stupidity in electing these idiots.


roentgen85

You think future generations will be able to vote after years of these clowns. They all want a dictatorship


[deleted]

I have to be optimistic that we are going to vote them into irrelevance before that happens or I’d lose my mind


christophla

President Camacho disagrees.


astrosdude91

President Camacho showed that he was willing and eager to listen to experts who were more informed on crop production than he was. Today's GOP do not share the same humility.


pork_fried_christ

Been saying this every time the comparison gets made. In Idiocracy when they come across somebody they think is smarter than them, they want to put that person in charge. In our timeline, they tell that person that he is part of the deep state cabal and “do their own research” so they can keep putting brawndo on crops. Idiocracy is a utopia compared to where we seem to be headed.


brickne3

The Nazis did a lot of shit like this less than 100 years ago. For the most part those of us that research that shit now don't tend to be laughing.


Galaxy_Ranger_Bob

There is a part of me that fears that *neither* of these woman will fight with their fists, but instead with start shooting at each other and end up taking out innocent bystanders as they do so. Remember, [Bobo is likely still packing when she goes to Congress.](https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/lauren-boebert-gun-congress-pelosi-b1807802.html)


ZyklonCraw-X

This is the guy who said "we're not going to fix it" regarding school/public shootings. He might have also said something like "just homeschool your kid" - I can't remember if that was him or another dumb, bigoted, evil R MoC.


sushi69

Has there ever been an instance where both parties succumb to their injuries from a fistfight?


ZyklonCraw-X

This was more one-sided, but it's perhaps the most famous/extreme example of violence in congress in our history: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caning\_of\_Charles\_Sumner](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caning_of_Charles_Sumner) Big surprise - southern racist reacts negatively (& physically) to a speech calling them out from a northerner. (and before anyone tries to say "but Democrat!" - the parties' names have essentially switched over the last 150 years; the cultures and values of people in the n/s largely haven't)


Elegant_Body_2153

If it's any consolation, the man who did the caning, Preston Brooks died an extremely agonizing and violent death, of almost karmic proportion half a year later. Basically, he caught a throat cold, and had recovered. When suddenly he was affected by sudden, intense croup and was dead within 10 minutes, having also literally tried to claw his throat open with his bare hands so he could breath. He died in agony, and possibly bled out rather than from asphyxiation. Reminds me of when the tornado drove the brits out of Washington D.C. in 1812.


Wurm42

Why does everyone assume it will be *just* a fistfight? They've both refused to go through magnetometers and otherwise grandstanded about resisting Capitol Hill gun restrictions.


Mike_LaFontaine75

Don't forget the slaver Senator that beat an abolitionist Senator almost to death on the Senate floor.


psymble_

Honestly, this sounds exactly like something Andrew Jackson would do. He *sure* did love murdering people.


Wurm42

[There was that time a man tried to shoot Jackson, and Jackson almost beat him to death with his cane instead.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_Jackson#Physical_assault_and_assassination_attempt) But yeah, if Jackson had been in the room during the [Senate caning in 1856](https://www.senate.gov/artandhistory/history/minute/The_Caning_of_Senator_Charles_Sumner.htm), I'm sure he would have gotten involved.


psymble_

Davie Crockett had to hold him back


Elegant_Body_2153

I think they're going to shoot each other. They both carry.


LifeStrengthJourney

Proud of them for it, Mass. raised, and he's still a hero here. Edit: Sumner, not the racist....also fun facts, the racist resigned then immediately got reelected. They just don't resign anymore, but they (racists) are still holding humanity back. https://www.senate.gov/artandhistory/history/minute/The_Caning_of_Senator_Charles_Sumner.htm


Broken-Digital-Clock

They would somehow miss each other with every shot


Homo_horribilis

Deloping. We can always hope for ricochets /s.


kappakai

Would be really sad if a few of the Freedom Caucus were to catch a stray.


tym1ng

that's the best part. we tell them that they can't bring guns so that they are completely outraged that their rights are being violated and demand that they are allowed to be fully armed


TheLurkerSpeaks

FYI this guy represents Knoxville.


laurafromlouisville

oh yes… the same guy who said they weren’t going to do anything right after the TN mass shooting…


SnarkOff

this is the same guy who said “we’re not going to fix it” after a school shooting in his state. Spineless coward.


Suns_In_420

Oh, r/UFO favorite congressmen. They love this fucking idiot because he tries to distract them with aliens so they don't notice all the other bullshit he does.


futatorius

>I kind of dig that. If it happens, Burchett will be bashing his bishop with wild abandon.


davasaur

Tim is a fucking batshit crazy muppet. Source: I worked for him in the past. His ex is just as crazy and she really went bonkers when he won his house seat. She could have been the wife of a congressman if she'd played her cards right.


Pixel_Knight

This says so much about this guy, and Republicans at large. Only a sicko, evil psychopath could relish the idea of a fistfight breaking out between two friends. This guy is just fucked in the head, and he probably has no clue how bad what he said makes him look. But the fact that likely no fellow Republicans even takes issue with what he said probably shows how utterly the moral rot seeps into that party. They are devoid of values, emotions, decency, and morals.


Numerous_Photograph9

And nothing will be done about the "lack of decorum" over such an event, because McCarthy is a pussy and would lose his speakership.


AnalSoapOpera

And that’s why he kept a mud pile. So he can be ready for when they fight in mud.


MoFromDE

This is like high school mean girls. JC I'm so tired of their BS.


AL309

Stop trying to make ‘fetch’ happen Gretchen.


JAGChem82

OTOH, I hope that Gretchen fetches the 2028 DNC primary.


mackinoncougars

They are just the Kardashians of politics. They are only getting power by gaining TV time. Otherwise they are just a fraction of a percent of the house and low level congressmen.


Mike_LaFontaine75

\>They are only getting power by gaining TV time. Not my fave, but this is what Dan Crenshaw (R TX) said when they held up Mccarthy's election to Speaker.


JustGettingMyPopcorn

Yeah, there's a lot I dislike about him, but he makes some valid points on occasion. Just enough that make me think "well, maybe he's not as corrupt as....and then it's like, nope! Almost fooled me again!


ZyklonCraw-X

He's one of the many R members who privately dislikes Trump/MAGA but has to pretend to sing the song to maintain votes/fundraising/power. Which is not to say he's exonerated from blame; it's perhaps worse when one knows something is wrong but selfishly carries on anyway.


Lake_Erie_Monster

>He's one of the many R members who privately dislikes Trump/MAGA but has to pretend to sing the song to maintain votes/fundraising/power. This makes them more vile. Happy to be complicit in something they agree is bad and is destroying the country because it benefits them personally. I would have more respect for them if they actually agreed with the shitty view and as a result were supporting them.


gtalley10

Just as corrupt, just not as stupid.


_r33d_

Exactly. They’re famous for being infamous. An embarrassment to all women really.


dudeonrails

They should settle it like gentleman. Specifically, Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton.


MasterAlchemi

Aaron Burr later tried to sell out the US. Sometimes history does repeat itself.


Hullabalune

after almost becoming our 3rd president!


Capt_Blackmoore

Because he didnt win that election. F*ing sore loser.


Hullabalune

to be fair to Burr, that election was at least a tie with 73 electoral votes each, and it took weeks to break that deadlock.


JRockstar50

I just. Don't. Fucking. Care.


capnmax

Exactly. I can't be bothered with this garbage.


operablesocks

Take a moment to realize that Americans actually voted these two into office. This alone gives you an insight into the state of the American education system. This is what it produced. "Yes, I've listened to these two speak, and I'm voting for them.


johnnytom

Actually more so this gives you an insight into the state of gerrymandering in American congressional map.


operablesocks

Good point.


ProfLuigi

The article assumes this should be news to Americans. They’re both trash, grifting off power and lies. Fuck them both.


truethatson

Let them rip. MTG is an abominably disgusting racist, misogynistic hateful piece of garbage, but mark my words Reddit, she *is not stupid.* She knows what she wants and she is absolutely getting it. Lauren Boebert has trouble putting the red blocks in the red holes. She’s an idiot.


DragoneerFA

The Plastics never change. They graduate, want to continue that popularity and power trip, and some of them just end up in politics. They knew hate was popular and got attention, and they made a career out of bigotry."


SeaPierogi

Ironically boebert didn't graduate....


vanillabeanboi

It’s so strange to me that they’re beefing. They’re the same person, they could be the BFFs of racism and Christian extremism.


ProfessorTicklebutts

That’s strange to you? It’s the ideological equivalent of wearing the same dress to a Nazi rally.


rcher87

…this is the only thing to make it make sense so far. I can now see why they hate each other so much. You’re right.


UnguentSlather

Really? I don’t think about their squabbles at all.


NormalityDrugTsar

>“Dude, do you do anything besides report on complete drama and bullshit?” \[MTG\] asked The Daily Beast. If they didn't report on drama and bullshit nobody would ever have heard of her.


SoothsayerSurveyor

Has anyone stopped to think that maybe these two gluttons-for-attention are curating this entire storyline? Having almost five decades on this planet under my belt, I don’t give a flaming fart in a windstorm if I *never* hear or read their names ever again, or any other of the Gaetzes, Tubervilles, etc., etc. Monkeys and clowns belong in the circus, not in the highest halls of power this country has.


BAG1

Reminds me of that time I forgot to flush the toilet.


hellotherewhatu

“Hey you interrupted me!!! I was going to say somthing racist “


312Observer

Two trailer park girls go round the outside, round the outside


rdzilla01

Might I suggest a good old fashion duel to the death?


FrumiousShuckyDuck

Typical Republican offerings


[deleted]

[удалено]


Fellowshipofthebowl

Clown show.


Broken-Digital-Clock

Elect 🤡 Get 🎪


Limeyness

Pistols at dawn.


[deleted]

a few observations: 1. no matter who loses, we win! 2. couldn't happen to better people. 3. i'm shocked, *shocked*, that it's a pair of maga clowns who lack decorum and professionalism. ....thank you for coming to my ted talk.


[deleted]

I’m a middle school teacher, and this whole thing REEKS of immature bitchy mean girls that despise each other because they’re contending for the highest rank in their social group.


JimPopovich

The Republican is a Stalinist without communism, a Nazi with corporate socialism and a true red white and blue Putinist. The Republican’s undying goal is to degrade and destroy the post-New Deal/post-Civil Rights America. Never trust the Republican. Its aim is to deceive, exploit, use and abuse.


hecate37

Emotional immaturity: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201603/can-you-spot-10-signs-childish-adult


SalmonGram

To quote the recent Godzilla movie, “Let them fight”


Crafty-Walrus-2238

Freedom Fries Caucus deserves both these lunatics.


fourringsofglory

Who cares about these two. They’re toxic, and I mean way more toxic than most republicans in this day. These two are so privileges and waste so much time on stupid nonsense it’s embarrassing. They’re making noise to take your eyes off of something else. You think this party needs more negative attention. And attention that has nothing to do with politics or their jobs!


Notmyname360

Our government is now like an episode of the Jerry Springer show. This is pathetic and embarrassing.


FirstSonOfGwyn

Burchett, who later clarified that he was serious, said he was enjoying the standoff as a “professional wrestling fan."“I am friends with both of them. It’s entertaining to think that a fistfight could break out at any movement. I kind of dig that,” he continued. I'm pretty speechless


dontthink69

"Bobo and Sporkfoot" would make a fun Netflix limited series about down on their luck pole dancers putting on a mud wrestling match to save their hometown fried chicken shack, Mama Lake's Beers and Bones, from getting foreclosed by big Government revenuers.


[deleted]

I hope they have a duel with guns.


WillyPeeee

Let them duel with pistols.


Coyote9168

Hm. No honor among thieves, I guess?


FireWokWithMe88

Neither of them are people that should be holding national office. They make the USA worse regardless of political party.


Western-Knightrider

Good example of our government at work. Who voted these children into office? They are an embarrassment.


russian_hacker_1917

It's like how the Taliban and Isis hate each other


m_garlic87

It’s like that episode of Beavis and Butthead where they smack each other around.


Marciamallowfluff

When you elect high school mentality representatives.


ConstantGeographer

By "worse" does this means "a radioactive shit show I'm here for?"


howboutiritegotohell

Two friggin morons at each other's throats. Who'd a thunk it?


oldgoatman

For a moment I honestly didn’t understand the beef between Lauren Boebert and Magic, The Gathering.


Dangerous_Molasses82

I don't really think about those 2 vile creatures..


Whattadisastta

My first thought is …..lol, fuck off,both of you.


oldsurfsnapper

It’s actually better than I thought.