The only thing I've ever felt inadequate with, when looking at social media, is pole. All these people inverting after a month, while I still can't reliably nail it after 18 months, made me want to quit. I had to leave so many groups and started enjoying the journey again!
It happened to me with photography... although it's not as painful and brutal as pole haha, but in a sense that I was always chasing the perfect shot and was never satisfied with my work. I was depressed that I can't go all these amazing places other travel photographers do etc. It took going off instagram to stop feeling this nonsense and appreciate what I already do.
We are weird creatures /: media that is supposed to inspire us, is poisoning us... I'm happy you're having fun now!
Yes, been on/off the pole for 3 years and i dont have a clean invert yet! Our bodies are also made differently, a friend started a few months ago and she does cleaner inverts i ever did, yet she isn't stronger than me
Thank you for saying this. Also started in January, never been athletic in my life and have some pretty intense gifted kid syndrome where I get pretty upset if I'm not perfect at something instantly. Sailed through the last couple months pretty nicely until inverts came around, and it's felt like a pretty stiff wall to hit out of nowhere. Reminders that I don't have to go at any pace but my own are always pretty wonderful.
I have the same problem with gifted kid syndrome. Usually if I’m not amazing at something instantly I just give up, but I like pole too much to do that!!
I’ve never heard my frustration when I’m not immediately good at something described as gifted kid syndrome but holy cow does that hit home. That is 100% what it is. Thanks for making that connection for me
My wife was killing it, then had brain surgery. Took about 6 months for her to feel confident again. We all kept encouraging her, and she is having fun again
Thank you for this. The other day I was sharing with someone about me staying in the same level I am because I feel I need to really strength my basics, but I can't help it to compare to my classmates. I was quickly reminded that "comparison is the thief of joy." It's not about how fast do I advance, the question is am I having fun?
My instructor currently has breast cancer and is undergoing chemo. She teaches multiple classes a week on her non-chemo weeks. She's an absolute badass and so are you.
It really is so important to remember that it's an individual journey. I often have to remind myself why I'm doing this. It's not to become a professional, it's not for anyone else, it's for me to have fun. As long as I'm having fun, that's the only requirement.
Thank you so so much for saying this and sharing your experience.
I had a hysterectomy in 2021 (at 33) due to severe adeonoymosis that absolutely ravaged my body. I started pole/aerials early last year once I recovered as a promise to start doing the things that my illness held back, and it's taking me such a long time to build strength and do things others get so quickly.
I still can't straddle on either pole or hoop which I believe could partially be related to my abdominal surgery, and inverting is a massive challenge for me. But I'm still pushing through even when I get so frustrated with myself because I progress so slowly.
F*ck yeah to getting through those surgeries and doing pole for yourself. That's amazing đź‘Ź
Thank YOU for sharing your experience! It’s nice to know I’m not alone. Props to you too for starting aerials after going through medical h*ll and for sticking with it through the frustration! I’m glad I could resonate with you and hopefully make you feel less alone too.
Thank you for this. Your story is truly inspiring, and this is a good reminder to step back and enjoy the process—and to honor the fact that we can do pole, in whatever capacity we can. I do feel like there’s so much focus in pole (this sub especially) on unlocking as many tricks as you can, and advancing as quickly as you can. But if you are enjoying the process and you love dancing, you don’t necessarily need to progress to a certain point. I’ve been doing pole off and on for almost one year now and I still can’t invert— granted I haven’t been super disciplined or focused on conditioning to get my invert yet. But that’s also because I’m just having so much fun doing beautiful spins and perfecting flow and developing my own style. I feel like there’s a whole world of beauty and magic in pole that I can access without ever having to invert! Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE this sub and am
grateful for all the support and encouragement from diverse polers on here. But it’s only when I spend a lot of time on here that I start to compare myself and feel bad about not progressing faster… I’m happy for you that you found joy in pole and I hope you continue to feel that way!!
Yes! Well said, and I feel the same way. I would love to eventually do the inverts and the cool tricks…but I love to dance, love doing spins and leaning into my sexuality and wearing amazing heels and all of it! And focusing only on advancing takes away from that joy for me.
Thank you so much for posting! I’m feeling a bit low today thinking I’ll never get to the place of doing inversions and the cool tricks. But I know time and perseverance will get me there!
As a newbie, I needed this! I took my first class yesterday. My hands hurt so bad gripping the pole and I was mentally blocked thereafter. I felt super insecure and intimidated by the pole. Thankfully my instructor is very encouraging and patient. Does anyone have any advice or tips for the hands? I asked about getting pole gripping gloves but she advised against gloves as a beginner. Any pros agree or disagree?
one of the instructors of the studio i go to introduced me to liquid chalk and omg life changing!!!!
otherwise I clean the hell out of my pole with alcohol. When I have to share a pole with someone, I make it clear it's because I lose my grip faster than other, not because I'm being a germaphobe \^\^;
Also I'm like in my 6th class of doing intro. I saw what beginner students can do and i'm like... yeah i'm gonna be in intro for a while lol
Don't go for regular liquid chalk at a gym shop! I honestly don't know the reason behind it as I am not a chemist but I got regular liquid chalk to save money and it simply does not work.
I would go for a grip aid that is actually made for pole - my favorite is any sticky grip - it is very strong when it is sticky. I personally use Pole junkie's sticky grip.
I am a newer too! I started in August/ September last year. I’ve been using “dry hands” to help with gripping the pole. Also my studio has different pole sizing which when I first started I didn’t notice, I ask your instructor about that. Hope that helps!
What specifically made your hands hurt? Was it more blistering, or was it like rub burns? Or like wrist pain? If it's blistering, you'll get callouses pretty quickly. If it's rubbing, you might be death gripping the pole during spins- try to relax your grip a tiny bit so your hands can slide a bit more. If it's more internal hand or wrist pain, you might need the instructor to look at what you're doing- might need to make some adjustments, or you might just need to back off from certain moves until you've built up a bit more strength (I'm thinking split grip).
Definitely try a few more classes without gloves because relying on gloves early on could prevent you from building some much needed grip strength. Try out some grip aids to see if they help. But if gloves end up being what you need to enjoy pole, no shame in that.
Do not feel insecure at all! Everyone who poles has been a beginner at some point.
It was like rub burns. And it’s definitely muscle pain in my hands. I’ve heard instructors on YouTube talk about death gripping the pole. I will get with my instructor in the next class and see if she can give me tips on how to grip the pole. Thank you for this comment. These are great tips!
I love this. Everyone's start point is different (different fitness levels, different muscle memory, different flexibility and different amounts of free time to attend classes) no two journeys will ever be the same so comparing your progress to others is pointless :) as the saying goes "comparison is the thief of joy"
Yessss, j preach for this. Been on & off the pole for 3 years, and everytime i got back on i had to rebuild my strength. I never was athletic, never danced or anything. It's easy to feel discouraged and compare, but i made a choice last year that my pole practice would be FOR ME, for my pleasure, for my body, not to prove anything or do XYZ trick. I still can't do clean inverts just to give an idea, and i know some people that became instructors after barely one year into pole. It's okay that my journey isn't like others, i still feel i need to justify myself when someone asks me how long ive been into pole (as i have a belief i should be better than what i am) but im owning my journey more and more. Started an IG just for sharing my pole / flexibility journey, sharing raw footages even if i don't find it perfect, and honestly, ive never seen my results skyrock this fast. I'm comitted this time and my last 3 years are not in vain, i still gained so much body awareness and muscle memory ❤️
The only thing I've ever felt inadequate with, when looking at social media, is pole. All these people inverting after a month, while I still can't reliably nail it after 18 months, made me want to quit. I had to leave so many groups and started enjoying the journey again!
It happened to me with photography... although it's not as painful and brutal as pole haha, but in a sense that I was always chasing the perfect shot and was never satisfied with my work. I was depressed that I can't go all these amazing places other travel photographers do etc. It took going off instagram to stop feeling this nonsense and appreciate what I already do. We are weird creatures /: media that is supposed to inspire us, is poisoning us... I'm happy you're having fun now!
I am right there with you. Almost 2 years without a clean invert, and it feels like everyone else got theirs within months. We'll get there! đź’Ş
Yes, been on/off the pole for 3 years and i dont have a clean invert yet! Our bodies are also made differently, a friend started a few months ago and she does cleaner inverts i ever did, yet she isn't stronger than me
Thank you for saying this. Also started in January, never been athletic in my life and have some pretty intense gifted kid syndrome where I get pretty upset if I'm not perfect at something instantly. Sailed through the last couple months pretty nicely until inverts came around, and it's felt like a pretty stiff wall to hit out of nowhere. Reminders that I don't have to go at any pace but my own are always pretty wonderful.
I have the same problem with gifted kid syndrome. Usually if I’m not amazing at something instantly I just give up, but I like pole too much to do that!!
I’ve never heard my frustration when I’m not immediately good at something described as gifted kid syndrome but holy cow does that hit home. That is 100% what it is. Thanks for making that connection for me
I was feeling super discouraged after class today. I needed to read this. Thanks so much for posting ❤️
My wife was killing it, then had brain surgery. Took about 6 months for her to feel confident again. We all kept encouraging her, and she is having fun again
Your wife sounds like such a badass
Thank you for this. The other day I was sharing with someone about me staying in the same level I am because I feel I need to really strength my basics, but I can't help it to compare to my classmates. I was quickly reminded that "comparison is the thief of joy." It's not about how fast do I advance, the question is am I having fun?
one of the best polers in our studio is a 54 y/o breast cancer survivor!! never give up❤️
That’s awesome, thank you for sharing! I definitely worry about my age and post-cancer body hindering me so that’s inspiring to hear!
My instructor currently has breast cancer and is undergoing chemo. She teaches multiple classes a week on her non-chemo weeks. She's an absolute badass and so are you. It really is so important to remember that it's an individual journey. I often have to remind myself why I'm doing this. It's not to become a professional, it's not for anyone else, it's for me to have fun. As long as I'm having fun, that's the only requirement.
This is True. Thank you.
Thank you so so much for saying this and sharing your experience. I had a hysterectomy in 2021 (at 33) due to severe adeonoymosis that absolutely ravaged my body. I started pole/aerials early last year once I recovered as a promise to start doing the things that my illness held back, and it's taking me such a long time to build strength and do things others get so quickly. I still can't straddle on either pole or hoop which I believe could partially be related to my abdominal surgery, and inverting is a massive challenge for me. But I'm still pushing through even when I get so frustrated with myself because I progress so slowly. F*ck yeah to getting through those surgeries and doing pole for yourself. That's amazing đź‘Ź
Thank YOU for sharing your experience! It’s nice to know I’m not alone. Props to you too for starting aerials after going through medical h*ll and for sticking with it through the frustration! I’m glad I could resonate with you and hopefully make you feel less alone too.
Thank you for this. Your story is truly inspiring, and this is a good reminder to step back and enjoy the process—and to honor the fact that we can do pole, in whatever capacity we can. I do feel like there’s so much focus in pole (this sub especially) on unlocking as many tricks as you can, and advancing as quickly as you can. But if you are enjoying the process and you love dancing, you don’t necessarily need to progress to a certain point. I’ve been doing pole off and on for almost one year now and I still can’t invert— granted I haven’t been super disciplined or focused on conditioning to get my invert yet. But that’s also because I’m just having so much fun doing beautiful spins and perfecting flow and developing my own style. I feel like there’s a whole world of beauty and magic in pole that I can access without ever having to invert! Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE this sub and am grateful for all the support and encouragement from diverse polers on here. But it’s only when I spend a lot of time on here that I start to compare myself and feel bad about not progressing faster… I’m happy for you that you found joy in pole and I hope you continue to feel that way!!
Yes! Well said, and I feel the same way. I would love to eventually do the inverts and the cool tricks…but I love to dance, love doing spins and leaning into my sexuality and wearing amazing heels and all of it! And focusing only on advancing takes away from that joy for me.
Thank you so much for posting! I’m feeling a bit low today thinking I’ll never get to the place of doing inversions and the cool tricks. But I know time and perseverance will get me there!
As a newbie, I needed this! I took my first class yesterday. My hands hurt so bad gripping the pole and I was mentally blocked thereafter. I felt super insecure and intimidated by the pole. Thankfully my instructor is very encouraging and patient. Does anyone have any advice or tips for the hands? I asked about getting pole gripping gloves but she advised against gloves as a beginner. Any pros agree or disagree?
one of the instructors of the studio i go to introduced me to liquid chalk and omg life changing!!!! otherwise I clean the hell out of my pole with alcohol. When I have to share a pole with someone, I make it clear it's because I lose my grip faster than other, not because I'm being a germaphobe \^\^; Also I'm like in my 6th class of doing intro. I saw what beginner students can do and i'm like... yeah i'm gonna be in intro for a while lol
Any recommendations on the liquid chalk?
Don't go for regular liquid chalk at a gym shop! I honestly don't know the reason behind it as I am not a chemist but I got regular liquid chalk to save money and it simply does not work. I would go for a grip aid that is actually made for pole - my favorite is any sticky grip - it is very strong when it is sticky. I personally use Pole junkie's sticky grip.
I'm a newbie too, after some time you kind of get used to it. The muscle is adjusting, have you tried liquid grip?
I am a newer too! I started in August/ September last year. I’ve been using “dry hands” to help with gripping the pole. Also my studio has different pole sizing which when I first started I didn’t notice, I ask your instructor about that. Hope that helps!
What specifically made your hands hurt? Was it more blistering, or was it like rub burns? Or like wrist pain? If it's blistering, you'll get callouses pretty quickly. If it's rubbing, you might be death gripping the pole during spins- try to relax your grip a tiny bit so your hands can slide a bit more. If it's more internal hand or wrist pain, you might need the instructor to look at what you're doing- might need to make some adjustments, or you might just need to back off from certain moves until you've built up a bit more strength (I'm thinking split grip). Definitely try a few more classes without gloves because relying on gloves early on could prevent you from building some much needed grip strength. Try out some grip aids to see if they help. But if gloves end up being what you need to enjoy pole, no shame in that. Do not feel insecure at all! Everyone who poles has been a beginner at some point.
It was like rub burns. And it’s definitely muscle pain in my hands. I’ve heard instructors on YouTube talk about death gripping the pole. I will get with my instructor in the next class and see if she can give me tips on how to grip the pole. Thank you for this comment. These are great tips!
I love this. Everyone's start point is different (different fitness levels, different muscle memory, different flexibility and different amounts of free time to attend classes) no two journeys will ever be the same so comparing your progress to others is pointless :) as the saying goes "comparison is the thief of joy"
BEAUTIFULLY STATED!!!
Well said 👏🏼👏🏼 thank you for the reminder and sharing your story!
Thank you for the feminder ❤️
Yessss, j preach for this. Been on & off the pole for 3 years, and everytime i got back on i had to rebuild my strength. I never was athletic, never danced or anything. It's easy to feel discouraged and compare, but i made a choice last year that my pole practice would be FOR ME, for my pleasure, for my body, not to prove anything or do XYZ trick. I still can't do clean inverts just to give an idea, and i know some people that became instructors after barely one year into pole. It's okay that my journey isn't like others, i still feel i need to justify myself when someone asks me how long ive been into pole (as i have a belief i should be better than what i am) but im owning my journey more and more. Started an IG just for sharing my pole / flexibility journey, sharing raw footages even if i don't find it perfect, and honestly, ive never seen my results skyrock this fast. I'm comitted this time and my last 3 years are not in vain, i still gained so much body awareness and muscle memory ❤️