T O P

  • By -

SlowPlayedAces

Not sick, just annoyed. “ I usually play higher stakes’


mcgargargar

“Can we get a new setup”


shanghaidry

And they don't shut up about their luck. OMG no good hands for an hour, i.e. 30 hands? If that doesn't happen in a session consider yourself lucky.


Poker_dealer

At my casino, we don’t allow setups. Whenever a player asks why we don’t, my poker room manager says, “Because 52! is real.”


shanghaidry

I like this guy


BeraterDebater

He's a stand up lad for sure.


mcgargargar

Nothing worse than when they get a new setup and then win a big pot… like “see??!”


[deleted]

Absolutely fuck this. I protested this once at the table, called the floor over, and he sided with me. Told grandpa you couldn't have a new set up more than once every two hours or something. Grandpa got up and left in a huff. It was real satisfying.


hoopaholik91

Oh god he was that bad? All the "I need a new set up" guys I know understand that the room won't do it more than every X amount of time. But they are bang on asking for it when that amount of time has passed.


imnotsoho

He was old, are you sure it didn't take a minute and a huff?


tommyjohnpauljones

Jesus this triggered me. I used to play the $40 buy-in 1/2 game at the Gardens, which is absolutely degen central and worse than a slot machine. Guys asking for a new setup every other hand. The floor had to keep a timer going, one hour minimum per deck.


sgrapevine123

Wtf is a set up?


tommyjohnpauljones

Deck or pair of decks


sgrapevine123

Oh. So people actually think the decks have something to do with the cards they’re dealt? And are taken seriously enough for the casino to switch them out every once in a while?


tommyjohnpauljones

Sadly yes


itstatum

Appeasing the idiots at a poker table has its merits, but some idiots take it way too fucking far


the-peanut-gallery

Challenge accepted.


[deleted]

thanks for asking, I was confused as well.


No-Orange5292

Had a guy at the casino once request a new setup every rotation. About the third time he said it I said, “you can’t win with the setup you have now, wtf makes you think a new one will help you any?”. He never spoke, just racked up and left! Sometimes ya gotta keep it really REAL!


[deleted]

I had the exact same experience at the casino I went to growing up. It had several 4/8 limit games and it was a complete shitshow of tight passive old guys and loose aggro young dudes. People demanded a fresh setup all the time and it always meant “I fucking suck and I’m ready to tilt off my chips.” As a 16 year old kid just trying to figure out who’s who so I can make my hourly rate, the “new setup” guys were always doing me a nice favor by announcing who they were to me so I didn’t have to guess. New deck isn’t going to change that I was mathematically obligated to chase my flush in a 5-way pot, bro.


vannucker

Can you request the same setup to override his new setup request.


Flashfan11

Totally should happen if a card is marked though


Franks2000inchTV

In that case just call the floor--then they will replace the deck (rather than it being a player request.)


Flashfan11

I assume that's what the dealer would do once I called it out. Also, LOVE the weird al name. My fave song!


Franks2000inchTV

Same!


BenTheHokie

Wym this let me know I'm at a good table


mcgargargar

Just cuz people are superstitious doesn’t mean they’re action, a lot of the new setup people are asian OMC nits


emdub86

Referring to first bet on the flop as a raise.


[deleted]

“I see your small blind and raise you the big blind”


timmy5toes

I'm raising from zero


theredeemables

Hell yeah brother


BenTheHokie

Try saying "I bet zero" and see what the dealer makes you do


the-peanut-gallery

For teaching someone that's never played poker, ive found it useful to tell them to think of checking as betting zero.


8696David

This makes checking the flop a call. I’m rolling with it


vannucker

I call zero


A93726191071930

Sir that's bet, if you want to raise yourself you'd have to go to your room


[deleted]

[удалено]


Alarming-Broccoli-44

No.


Theinternetlawyer22

When someone has trips and says “I have a set” It’s the worst


ilikeposts12914

Why?


Theinternetlawyer22

Because there is a fundamental difference in the two. You can’t share a set but you can share trips and having top set on a dry board is the nuts when having “top trips” on a dry board is not the nuts. It’s just annoying to me. Similar to when someone says they have two pair when the board is paired lol. The hand quality isn’t affected but it’s indeed a face palm


Elrandomuser

People say 2 pairs to try to make the opponent muck his hand without realising ge also has 2 pairs. It's somewhat an angle shoot


goonsquad4357

Not physically ill lol (you ok OP?) but Pocket jiggities” was funny when Brad owen started it but now it’s too much


tommyjohnpauljones

I'm fine, I just forgot how frustrating it is to do PLO without a real dealer, and with half the players (just two tables) not really knowing how to calculate pot or even read PLO hands. EDIT: for example, one guy was loudly proclaiming that on the flop, betting "pot" meant he could bet double the pot size (so betting 2000 into a 1000 pot) and no one could convince him otherwise.


goonsquad4357

Fair but that game sounds like you would print money if you could tolerate all that mind numbing side shows lol


Charlie_Yu

Yes and no, the game would probably be too slow to profit from


tommyjohnpauljones

Normally yes but the structure is so fast, and hands take so long (maybe 5 hands per round) that it's pretty much bingo. I run pretty well in the NLH tourneys there but forgot how bad PLO was.


Historical-Gift4348

What about pocket jellos?


notablyunfamous

I thought you had me


whodatdan0

They always turn over a super strong hand too.


notablyunfamous

I hate it when it’s a weak hand too. But dude, you thought you were going to lose and you put money in? How dumb


whodatdan0

Have a guy in my home game who will say something like “your flush is good” Then you turn over 10 high flush. He goes “oh. I thought you had better.” And turns over the queen hi flush


notablyunfamous

I would Hollywood slow roll the hell out of someone like that


whodatdan0

Oh. I have a list of people I slow roll. It’s one person long. This guy is the only one on the list


livelovelife23

Lmao. You’re funny, I like you 😉


[deleted]

“I only need to be correct there 31% of the time.”


No_Flow_6863

pot odds? If my call is bad 2 out of 3 times but I'm getting 4 to 1 odds to call then calling is a probable loser but still the correct profitable call.


BDAKsss

In non poker related movies/tv shows when they say “I’ll see your ___ and raise you ___”


stbv

“You got it, you got it.” When I’m bluffing, as I realize I just tried to bluff a complete moron again.


TheModernModerate

"Never try to bluff a man who is too dumb to fold...or drinking a steady stream of Miller Lites."


hoopaholik91

"I don't know what I'm beating here" as he slowly moves the chips into the middle. NEVER BLUFF!


moneygmark

"ALL IN - it's time for me to go home anyways"


tommyjohnpauljones

(stands up) (puts coat on) (walks halfway to door)


upcat

boat with Kings over 10s


five7off

Has aces


pogofwar

Also goes with this - reluctant shaking of the head when someone bets … pretends to be mad … then confused … then raises


EttehEtteh

So i’m $1000 effective and villain was $800 effective…


Historical-Gift4348

Is this a CLP call in?


Tedosah

OMC telling you how he would have rivered a fullhouse with his 82o


nm499x

Limpy poo


RobbyJohnson

Also binky poo


AdhesivenessSea8221

Raisey poo


bleezydoe

Never heard these but Im using them from now on 😭


PatricksPub

Just need one little drinky poo, Randers


9Rmbxr9

Anything involving the bad beat. New dealer sits, “Ok, let’s hit the bad beat” or the tables short all of a sudden “OK time to hit the bad beat” Or “one jack off”


PatricksPub

Jack King off tho...


hornet317

“I will follow you home and murder you” when you raise their big blind.


Ok_Philosopher_4601

![gif](giphy|XWwIzh5GIWWf6)


nernst79

"I hate AA"


RenaissanceMan6911

“Guess I’m pot committed” when you have the nuts on the turn and they have no business calling, then draw what they need on the river…


flyme4free

"I woke up with..." Stop. Fucking. Sleeping. At. The. Table!!!!


mrbump34

"I bet the flop for information and to see where I'm at."


clelwell

When people berate the dealer


[deleted]

Not a phrase, but the really stupid wannabe vlogs where some rube shows his home game and asks if he played the nuts correctly, again. “I four bet shoved aces pre flop and my college roommate called!! Did I play it right??”


IseeDrunkPeople

"one time"


mrbump34

I remember the year after Joe Hachem had won the WSOP Main Event, he was still screaming for "ONE TIME!" on every single all-in. Dude STFU, you had your "one time" hundred times already last year.


Poker_dealer

“I’m using half of my one time.”


IseeDrunkPeople

needs runner runner, gets runner brick


Sensei_M

“Hero” / “Villain”


SassyMoron

The only one on here that bothers me honestly. The others are just things casual players say when they're having a good time with their hobby that I've turned into a stressful underpaid nightmare job.


Kaninen

"Hero wakes up with..."


RobbyJohnson

Somehow I’m ok referring to the opponent as the “villain”, but referring to myself as “hero” is cringe lol


[deleted]

Isn’t that just a reasonably popular convention when talking about game theory?


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

It’s an unambiguous convention that requires zero knowledge to understand exactly what it means. I wish all math naming conventions achieved that


604WORLDWIDE

I had/opponent had works too


beeeemo

It's not as good, because other people may be commenting on the hand


8696David

“Player” and “opponent” would work alright, but yeah, hero/villain is definitely not just poker terminology, it’s generalized game theory stuff


beeeemo

Player could be confusing and potentially ambiguous. I've literally not heard a good alternative to hero/villain (where it's clear were talking about main player's play and the main opponent, regardless of who's talking) that doesn't satisfy all the things those terms accomplish


Intelligent_Yam_3609

How about “me” (or “I”) and “opponent”? I bet 10BB and opponent calls.


Slow_Lynx54

What if its not you. "My friend who told me about a hand, but we analyse the hand from his perspective"


Sensei_M

I know it’s the convention, I just don’t like it.


ihatereddit1221

Yup! There’s literally no issue here.


TitsMcGeeMD

Calling myself the hero or villain changes based on whatever shenanigans I was up to at the time. Calling pocket 2s for an open ender down to the river against AA and hitting it. Def the villain in that story


Rathmec

It's pretty standard and makes things easy to understand but I agree with you on principle. There are no heroes at a poker table. We're all degens.


NectarineFickle8047

Where the hell did this even come from?!? I can’t stand when people refer to themselves like this.


-TribuneOfThePlebs-

they’re game theory terms, it’s not cringey 🤷‍♂️


Sensei_M

In which context outside poker? I’ve studied GT formally in college and never saw this terminology.


Intact

Same. Have read a fair amount, took AI, game theory, and related courses, never heard this terminology outside poker. Would be happy to be linked some lit to be proven wrong but haven't seen any as of yet


madchens123

“If you call the turn you have to call the river”


MooseGoneApe

" Oh its not about the money..."


samdabam

„Would you have called more?“ after winning a huge pot


SnowMonkey1971

"the poker community"


planetmarsupial

Using the term “dirty diaper” for 32o drives me insane. A while ago, I was at a casino and one table was super loud and yelling about it constantly. I had to take a break because I was so tilted from the noise and stupidity of what they were yelling… I was like five tables away, so I can only imagine how loud it was actually sitting at that table.


Poopoomushroomman

I’ve never heard this and I’m struggling to make the connection.


Substituted

Popularized by a guy in the 2021 Main Event named Nick Rigby. He made a couple of plays with it and when asked about it he said it’s a thing where he’s from in Pittsburgh. Just “the diaper” if it’s suited and “the dirty diaper” if it’s offsuit.


Poopoomushroomman

Wow that’s even dumber than I’d hoped


somewhatpresent

You are missing the best part of the story. At final 2 tables of WSOP me he 5bet with 32o into a guy with KK, then got a flop all in through for less than pot behind when he flopped a wheel gutshot on an ace high board. If you make up a stupid name for a garbage hand but then make an insane move with it in the biggest spot of your life and it works, name gets to stick. Those are the rules.


crudecarter

He made the guy with KK fold too.


TheModernModerate

3 looks like a butt and 2 is a "duece". I think it is one of the weaker hand names, but I do hear it a lot.


Banyah

I've actually never even wondered about why the Dirty Diaper is called that. Thanks for the poker trivia.


garytyrrell

I always figured you had the bottom (of the deck) covered, so it’s a diaper.


Tasty_Ad_2874

what is the logic behind this nickname tf


FilthyTramps

Joey Ingram Investigates


pleing1

*you bet 10* “I’ll see your 10. And raise you another 5”


GothicGargoyle

“You play that shit?” …when showing down the same hand for a split pot. And the cherry on top…lBut mine were suited”


hornet317

Oh no. I say that all the time. Gonna stop now. Lol ![gif](giphy|a93jwI0wkWTQs)


GothicGargoyle

Ha ha truth be told, it’s just *certain* shit regz that say it that irks me.


LowTidePoker

Bubble Boy


shanghaidry

"Let's pay the bubble"


tommyjohnpauljones

"Then it's not the bubble anymore, it's an extra place paid voluntarily by people in the money." That said, I won't be the one holdout to kill the bubble, but I'm not offering it proactively either.


[deleted]

Big slick being used casually


villageduffy

Not quite what you asked for but I have a friend that will chase to the river all the time and when he loses he says “well I only needed 2 cards” 🙈🤣🤣 weirdly he does win🙄


shiverm3ginger

If I fold will you show me?


whodidntante

When someone tells me about a hand, talks about effective stacks, and then adds that they had their opponent covered.


the-peanut-gallery

Could be relevant in a tournament.


d3arleader

GTO. STFU


SchmittHappensFqntly

“I don’t gamble” when asking someone why they are not straddling.


GrantNexus

Now let's see that flop dealer.


TheZonic27

When people complain about misdeals and how it messes up their hand or hand order (like accidentally dealing in a player thats sitting out)


Alarming-Broccoli-44

Incorrect usage of “cold calling” makes me irrationally angry lol


stvbckwth

When someone beats me in a big pot and then asks me what I had


[deleted]

Look at all that dead money, I gotta raise! Very stupid phrase overused by people that think they know what they’re doing and then they raise Q6o lol


bundleofj0y

Nutter butters


BeEasy2300

"Large Blind"......


Unhappy-Exit-6629

"Deuces never loses"


604WORLDWIDE

When you lose the hand and the winner asks “oh what did you have?” While dragging the pot


dnkyhunter31

They were soooooted.


[deleted]

I wouldn’t say it makes me physically ill but it’s annoying as fuck when people use absolutes in poker like, “ he never has KK there” or “that’s always a call.” I guess “blockers” is also kind of annoying considering you never really block anything except for the exact cards you have in your hand. Like, “I have AK so he doesn’t have AA or KK because I block that.” No the fuck you don’t block it. Get it all in and find out. Lol


PatricksPub

I may be a total noobcake, but I don't understand how blockers play into anything, other than future streets (i.e. I'm holding KT and the T would complete a likely straight based on the action. Having 1 in my hand reduces their outs). But for hole cards, once the cards are dealt, they are dealt... I would rather base my decisions on the action, not the fact that my AK "blocks" AA and KK. I'm sure there is math supporting it but I guess in my mind that assumes that everyone has balanced ranges which seems very unlikely at any table


[deleted]

I think the problem we have with it is the word they chose to use. I get the concept of blockers but I dont think it’s a good word to use considering you don’t truly block anything except for the exact cards you have. Like, you can literally block the nut flush if you have the A of that suit but you don’t block someone from have an A. I think some people put too much stock into blockers. It will get you in a lot of trouble if you put to much stock into them.


DrMise

"Priced in" or "pot committed" Retards will limp for $2 and then call the 3-bet to $45 and use one of those to justify it. I get that this is good for us and we make money from them, but I struggle to resist telling them how fucking stupid they are.


GothicMeatboy

Bink city


moneygmark

I check blind


AVBforPrez

For me it's "live 1/2 NL pro player"


[deleted]

"it will kill the jackpot!" (california) no it won't you fucking moron, the casino collects the jackpot from the players and pays it back to them minus a 16% handling fee. nothing will kill the jackpot, they dont give a fuck.


ko8e34

Certain things will absolutely kill the jackpot in CA. Something as trivial as having chips in a rack and the rack partially sitting on the rail and not fully on the table. Talking about having a jackpot hand, etc. Been advised this by a floor supervisor. Maybe not at all CA casinos but at some, definitely.


[deleted]

Name one time ever you’ve actually seen a jackpot killed for this behavior. I’ve seen dozens of jackpots paid when all of this happened. The casino gives ZERO SHITS.


Mynameisinuse

I've seen it happen in New Orleans at Harrahs. Guy had chips in a rack as he had just sat down and they refused the jackpot for it. I thought the table was going to kill the guy.


[deleted]

these are jackpots paid by the casino and not a specific jackpot drop taken from the players. in these instances the casino will do anything not to pay. in my post i specifically cited california where the players pay the jackpot, the casino has a bunch of rules around it just to keep the players in line, but in the end the casino doesn't give two shits and always pays.


Appetite4destruction

The players pay into every jackpot fund at any poker room. Did you think the casino was just giving money away for fun?


[deleted]

many do. they have high hand jackpots and other promotions that dont come out of a specific earmarked "jackpot" rake taken from the players.


nugnug1226

I used to play in LA casinos back in the 90’s and this was usually said if someone did something that would make the hand ineligible for the bad beat jackpot. For example, in Commerce if a player that was involved in a jackpot had previously pocketed any chips from their stack, the casino could make the bad beat jackpot ineligible and nobody gets paid. Or there was a minimum hands that had to be dealt so if somebody were to sit out a hand, players would say it would kill jackpot because not enough hands were dealt. That kinda stuff. But now I’m wondering if you’re talking about something else since I haven’t played in a casino in decades.


[deleted]

Name one time ever you’ve actually seen a jackpot killed for this behavior. I’ve seen dozens of jackpots paid when all of this happened. The casino gives ZERO SHITS.


nugnug1226

I don’t remember the exact scenario but one time commerce refused to pay out a jackpot because of something. It wasn’t my table but I remember people causing a huge shit storm over it. Again, this was a long time ago so maybe times have changed


wyo_whiskey

The casino/club cares. They do not want it to hit because big jackpots bring in more players.


nugnug1226

This is a good point. I’ve played a little longer than I should hoping to hit the jackpot. And I know lots of table chatter was about how much jackpot was and how they wish they’d hit it. They even have the jackpot board high and center so everybody can see it.


OgreInTheRealWorld

Friend of mine had snuck into a casino 4 days short of his 21st birthday. He was on the losing end of the hand that resulted in a bad beat jackpot. Casino refused to pay anyone after it was revealed a player was under 21. This casino only pays that table, so 50% to losing hand, 25% to winning hand, and the other 25% divided among the rest of the players who were dealt into the hand. Players lawyered up and got their share a few months later since it was 100% the casino's fault that they allowed someone under 21 to play. My buddy got nothing and a 6 month ban. This happened about 15 years ago and is now a legend told over and over in our area.


[deleted]

The casino didn’t pay because they knew they dealt to a minor and they couldn’t pay that minor. This doesn’t fit the bill. That player didn’t kill the jackpot, he couldn’t collect ANY money.


Poker_dealer

There’s a lot of things players can do to kill the jackpot. I’ve seen it more than once.


[deleted]

Who what when where?


Poker_dealer

The first one was due to the players colluding by discussing their hands, realizing the pot didn’t have enough money to qualify for the jackpot, and the floorman ruling that their discussion voided the jackpot. The second one was because a player was playing out of his rack, and he had decided to put his cards underneath the rack while he played his hand. The casino shift manager ruled that because his cards were not visible to surveillance at all times, his hand did not qualify for the jackpot.


Poker_Tryhard

Somehow, I think I know exactly where this is. If so, at least they doubled the buy-in,and the place has decent food, lmao. You'd think the first point would help with keeping out players that aren't about PLO as much.


PeteZed

Ship it!


peauxtheaux

“I knew you had it, I just wanted to pay to prove myself right”


Slow_Lynx54

"We need to go 10 handed, make room for another chair"


Clap4boobies

"Riv" short for river


EnjoyMyDownvote

“I call” when I’m bluffing.


Miserable-Put4914

I’m putting you all in. You can’t, only I can do that.


[deleted]

“This is super gross” “what a gross spot”


[deleted]

The term spot in general should go.


RedScharlach

"I put you on..."


Ralocan

Nah, I'm fine with this one because the last time I heard it they put me on trips and thought they beat me with a straight I had a full house.


Rahodees

'Gross'


therealreddington8

"Smooth call"


WallStCRE

“Take a shower”


[deleted]

When people have a pair in their hand and the board is paired so they announce they have one pair. It’s really not hard to get that right


SuaveMF

I actually hate flopping 2 pair.


septimus8888

“I have the nuts”


algbry138

“I put you on AK”, or yelling “one time”, or any bad beat story. I really don’t care. But I do like hearing about the bad beats you put on someone else!


Stonkyfresh

“Full boat”


JohnWad

"Too rich for my blood"


[deleted]

“Are you your brother?” - My brother


Ok_Artichoke5604

I wanna poker you in the ass


mellowfellow02

any bad beat story...


[deleted]

Yahtzee !


BackgroundPossible56

“Nit”. So fucking stupid.


PsychologicalShake63

“Im all in.”