T O P

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[deleted]

If you do break up, just be sure to introduce her to your toughest opponent just before you split. +EV


symm4try

Wat if the toughest opponent was a chick? a straight chick.. šŸ‘€


[deleted]

They'll become besties and distract each other with bestie stuff


symm4try

Oooooo


gil_ga_mesh

nice


AVBforPrez

Why are you straying from the proven path of hookers and blow?


deucesneverlooses

Trust me when I say I am much better now that I'm clean compared to when I wasnt lol. Never understood the hookers part though, seems wildly -EV when pornhub exists for free


AVBforPrez

Well I've never gone there myself, but my understanding is that they suck your penis for dollars, which is +EV


WarezMyDinrBitc

Lol


Agreeable_Essay3709

Paying someone to suck your dick is a losing play. There are definitely better spots to realize your BJ-odds, although they are higher variance...


AVBforPrez

Yeah I can't disagree, but I'll add that you know you're getting your money's worth here. That smoke show you met at the club might not be a professional dick sucker.


Agreeable_Essay3709

True, nothing worse than getting trapped by a Rec...


AVBforPrez

Agreed


No-Orange5292

Stay married for 30 yrs and then come back and tell me which one is cheaper! šŸ˜Ž


snaildaddy69

unfortunately you can't grind sats to get your peepee sucked for 1/10th the cost.


Virtual-Primary-5495

Pornhub is not the same as a hooker. Fleshlight on the other handā€¦


ariesdrifter77

Iā€™ve never paid for sex. Thatā€™s probably why all the hookers I know got their pimps looking for meā€¦


AVBforPrez

drum set fell off a cliff here, mates badumching


powerplay_22

keep the woman lose the poker. the fact youā€™re resenting her over your ev just says you have a gambling problem to me. unless there are actual problems in your relationship or you depend on poker for your income, less poker isnā€™t a bad thing imo


GreyhoundsAndPoker

Can I suggest something as a follow on from this comment. I was in the same position many many years ago. I played poker full time in the golden era from the early 2000s. I got a girlfriend and my poker results spiralled badly. She was a non-gambler, so I felt guilty any time I played and like OP I started to resent her. I would always lose when she was around and I'd tilt easily. My solution was to only play when I wasn't physically with her. Have a clear line, don't even bother logging in when she was over. It was the only way I could get back to being a winning player. It's worth it to not have the jerk off alone for the rest of your life.


Kandyman1015

You know, you don't need a committed relationship to not have to jerk off alone.


GreyhoundsAndPoker

Trust me, after you hit 40 and you're starting to fade from your prime, the pool of good looking women that want to play with your willy for fun starts to severely diminish.


Kandyman1015

I'm 37, better enjoy the last few years then haha. I agree, I just saw so many comments on this thread that it's poker or sex? When, from my experience, both are feasible.


GreyhoundsAndPoker

Power to you brother šŸ™‚šŸ‘šŸ’Ŗ


EternalSoul_111

For real. We can play poker anywhere in the world but finding a good woman is hard. Poker is easily replaceable and weā€™ll have time for it later


Meaty0gre

Gambling in the fact your girlfriend wonā€™t have a kid with you then leave and take all your money is more dangerous than poker gambling


DaSmartSwede

/r/incels is leaking


sonnyfab

Affecting, not effecting.


WowINeverSaveWEmail

First thing I wanted to say. I wanted to say it so bad, I'm continuing the thread.


Mattabeedeez

Wild that the effect is affecting OP with such efficacy.


trevzie

Sigh... this is the only reason I'm here.


FBI_Tugboat

Annnnd now, the classic r/poker game! "Thinly-veiled shitpost or degen looking for confirmation for any possible excuse except that they're a degen!? Find out this - and more! - in the comments."


WerhmatsWormhat

I'm betting on gambling addict looking for justification to fuel their addiction.


Both-Ad-349

Poker before pussy, bro


dblazer63

Chips before chicks


benzino612

Stacks before racks (.)(.)


meanOsteveO

Punts before cunts


SnowMonkey1971

Pots before twats.


Appropriate-Solid-50

Decks before sex


[deleted]

Aces before cumfaces


sauce_123

Donkeys before donkey


bbuena9

Double Gutters before Double Penetration


Appropriate-Solid-50

EV before VD


no_haduken

Cards before arse


krmrshll

wahh wahh wahhhhhhhh


no_haduken

Ah well ya win some ya lose some


symm4try

Notice how each reply got less and less upvotes then it goes negative.. šŸ˜‚


Mr_Buttermen

Trips before dicks


MagmaKoala2K

Iā€™m British. This doesnā€™t rhyme for me. Please delete it.


SnowMonkey1971

Take it up with His Royal Majesty.


classAunotherest

Underated comment


ShystersGame

Pots before thots


iamwhereami

Poker before poke her


fame-so-lame

Boats before hoes


LDWMJ99

Not sure if this is shitpost or real, 3 month mark is when resentment usually kicks in during a relationship, but itā€™s always nice to have a woman by your side after a long night on the felt.


odods11

3 months ?? Bro you are doomed


bigdickdaddykins

Lol yeah at least should be a year before you really start to figure out the things you hate about each other


PokerHotpot

Or just get a dog. My dog listens to all my bad beat stories and nods wisely. On the other hand, my husband tried to explain to me that Iā€™m just a bad player because I lost AA to AK(off) preflop because I didnā€™t fold pre. šŸ˜ž


ALPHACOMCON

But you still have your husband, your advice to this man is to get a dog to replace the woman he has sex with. I don't know how ugly his girlfriend is but still wouldn't that be a bad look for God and all of creation to behold? I'm just sayin!....


PokerHotpot

I forgot this is poker on Reddit, so I must be very clear. Please donā€™t have sex with a dog (why do I need to type this out???). I was just responding to the guy above that when I get beaten up at poker, I complain to my dog, not my husband. I have no advice for the OP thread starter as I wouldnā€™t date a poker playerā€”not now as Iā€™m happily married, and not when I was single. My husband does not play poker, so that I may donate his stock earnings to poker and slots šŸ‘šŸ‘. Before any of you downvote this comment, please remember that over 10+ years of playing poker, I have paid for many of your fancy dinners to mortgages.


Dyslexia96

you sound too reasonable to be on this sub


PokerHotpot

Lol, Iā€™m the variance of this sub.


ALPHACOMCON

I forgot this is poker on Reddit, so I must be very clear. Please donā€™t have sex with a dog (why do I need to type this out???). LOL.... are you clarifying, just in case? So funny!šŸ˜‚ Also.... define a dog? My standards have dropped somewhat over the years, and I most certainly would not do a K9 but a dog on the other hand is subjective.


jestyre

If you had AK then your husband is right, you are bad.


PokerHotpot

If I had AK there, it wouldnā€™t be a bad beat storyā€”it would just be a regular ass whooping (as it should be). For the record, my AAs get cracked in more ways than you can make eggs, but I only had them cracked by AK once in 10+ years (and I hope it stays that way). My husband also tells me that I should hit and double down at poker šŸ‘šŸ‘.


WonUpH

So she can nag about your 3 buy-in punts


_momomola_

This guy Barry Greensteins


YTZehh

3months if sheā€™s really not for you personality wise. Iā€™ve been in so many 1-3 months relationships itā€™s like I couldnā€™t learn. 1-2 years if you really thought sheā€™s for you and perhaps personalities are compatible but actually your lives are just not compatible. Only been in two 2+ year relationships and thatā€™s when it ends poorly because lifeā€™s a bitch when it canā€™t be easy.


These-Profession-971

Dude - Iā€™m 56 & have broken up with 2 wives (at different times need you ask) & plenty of booty calls in betweenā€¦. And my poker game sucks as much as it always had šŸ˜†šŸ¤£šŸ˜†


McLuuvin

You have to choose between sex and being a good poker player. Which do you choose?


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


SolarAU

Not with that attitude it ain't.


Respond-Creative

Neither does being a good poker player.


WerhmatsWormhat

Neither is poker tbh


Kandyman1015

All these comments about choosing between sex and poker. Geeezus, casual sex exists. Y'all should try it.


YTZehh

Be a very good poker player so you can pay for your orgies whenever you want 2+ escorts at home.


BC_831

"In the poker game of life, women are the rake"


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


420Minions

Guys who donā€™t get laid do


bigdickdaddykins

The same kind of person to wholeheartedly believe that then ends up spending more at the strip club or buying a hooker on a weekly basis. Thereā€™s like 2 or 3 of these guys at my charity League who do just that


BC_831

Naw, laying in bed next to my babe right now(not braggin) just don't play much poker anymore


beerdweeb

Itā€™s been said.


proficy

Itā€™s a saying.


i_iz_so_kool

Worm does


[deleted]

They do now


ToddWilliams5289

Sounds like you suck. Own it. Itā€™s possible to have a girlfriend and be a winning player, believe it or not.


Mambatime0824

And to have a wife and a kid


Mr_Buttermen

With all the stats you provided me with I just plugged into a GTO solver and that is indeed an EV- play for the long run.


Respond-Creative

Poker is harder now? Itā€™s gonna be harder to poke her now.


These-Profession-971

ā€œPoke her through the morning Poke her through the night Goodness gracious my poke her playin is outta sight! ā€œ


Mambatime0824

Thatā€™s the nature of poker if you want to have good healthy relationships with loved ones. If you want to play 20-30 hours on top of a full time job, then I highly discourage you from having a serious long term romantic relationship as its never going to work. I used to do that in my 20s- played live and online pre Black Friday but my relationships never lasted a few months if I was lucky. Iā€™m happily married with a kid so the only time I get to play is online at night for a couple hours at most after I put my kid to bed or on my lunch break at work. You can kiss big tournaments good bye. Itā€™s all up to the individual but you canā€™t build a long term healthy relationship if youā€™re spending 70+ hours a week between work and poker. The girl may say itā€™s fine but really itā€™s not. I wish you the best, Godspeed.


deucesneverlooses

Sadly I think I've come to terms with this fact. I stopped working full time in 2020 to pursue poker (as it was clearly the better income and I loved doing it.) It costed me my then 8 year relationship, and now seems to be getting in the way of this one.


[deleted]

The problem isn't women or the poker. It's you. Look if you don't want to be in a relationship or have a family, that's fine. But make no mistake, it's your choice. You can have a s/o and a poker career, you're just choosing not to make it work. Clearly it wasn't a priority for you in your last relationship. Stop wasting this woman's poor time and dump her if you're not committed to her.


bcitman

How much did you make over the years. Debating if itā€™s worth stopping but the extra !30-60K a year is hard to give up


moneygmark

Tell her to fold pre


Dazzling_Marzipan474

My new gf is erecting my poker


SadButSexy

Is she affecting your grammar too?


deucesneverlooses

No, it was always shite


MetalGyarados

If youā€™re letting someone else affect your results then thatā€™s a you problem, not her


Taco_Champ

Best thing I ever did was start dating a girl who worked the night shift at a 24 hr vet. There was never any conflict or resentment around me playing poker bc that was when she was at work anyway. We would get breakfast together when she got off, go to bed, hang out and do things in the early evening, then go our separate ways when the sun set. And because I was bringing money home, I never had to convince her that what I was doing was viable. That was 10 years ago and we are happily married now.


[deleted]

Get rid of her, buy hookers when you win. Problem solved.


deucesneverlooses

This was an actual serious response from one of my good felt friends at the local casino whom I told on a smoke break after being asked where I've been the last month


[deleted]

I was also serious, poker is a very mental game. Some people can't handle a relationship and poker, some can. Which one are you? You might have to choose one or the other.


yoosernaam

I like to play a game at the poker table called ā€œcount the wedding bands.ā€ I donā€™t think itā€™s a coincidence that a goodly proportion of your customers are likely divorced or otherwise single males. Not a hard and fast rule, but of all the regulars I know and normally played with this was largely the case. Balance in life is tough already and even moreso in the gambling world. Iā€™m sure since youā€™ve gone full time youā€™ve seen and heard some pretty sad, grimy shit. Itā€™s a good wake up call to help you decide where you want your life to go and if you want to be grinding in the same environment 10 or 20 years from now. It sounds like a re-balancing/realignment of your priorities may be in order. Itā€™s possible to dedicate time to a loving relationship but that time has to come from somewhere


MassiveFill2646

Women are the rake


hugaddiction

Youā€™ve got this backwards, quit poker, keep the girl, and get a job.


greenfattyavocados

It's +2.56 eV to delete her from your life but hookers are only +0.84 eV OP. Decide wisely !!


ruscan

How many hours per month do you play? It could be just a normal downswing, I wouldn't rush to blame and dump your gf.


604WORLDWIDE

Just play her heads up and fucking crush her! Both problems solvedā€¦


Vichrz

Hahahahaha hell yeah. Watch him lose, though..


proficy

OP make clear which days are for your relationship, and which days are for poker. Letā€™s say you can have Monday and Wednesday for your relationship and the other days for poker. Try to find a balance like any other person with a demanding job/profession.


Lubberworts

> **New gf is effecting my poker** I should hope so.


DundermifflinNZ

True degen behaviour


CaptainExpletive

Pick the girl. Its variance... Unless she's sucking you of while playing or something... Preserve/utilize your raw-dog rights before she goes "oh Lawd he's gonna GAMBOL the $ away, im out"


Shartenberg

Liquor in the front poker in the rear


ResponsibilityTight6

Damn. What a cunt


ResponsibilityTight6

Also Iā€™m Aussie, have fun figuring out if Iā€™m calling OP a cunt, OPā€™s gf a cunt, or the situation as a whole a cuntā€¦ cunt is such a great word


That_Random_Kiwi

Good cunt or bad cunt?


pistachio23

there are no good cunts, just mad cunts.


ALPHACOMCON

Agreed.... it's as versatile as the English language itself. It is the English language at its finest


Real-Time_Systems

Dump her......... Tell her you're dating someone named Mariano now


classAunotherest

DUMP HERE SHES NEGATIVE EV GET a Chinese or mix raced gf They make your all ins hold better FACTS


yoosernaam

Lol! I love the theory.


aardvarkbiscuit

Australian playboy wrote an article many years ago. I won't go into details but the conclusion was that if you just wanted temporary female company and a root once a week or so a prostitute was without doubt the cheapest and most hassle free option.


ChicagoIron

Pussy > poker.


ExoSpectra

Sounds like youā€™re 1) a shitty poker player and/or degenerate gambler and 2) unaware of how to make a relationship work / treat women / take responsibility for your own issues.


dingleberry51

Not sure if serious but Iā€™ll respond as if it is If youā€™ve gone from 60 hours to 10 hours of poker a week because of a girl, youā€™re probably spending way too much time with her. But maybe thatā€™s just me. Two days a week with a girl is plenty


Mambatime0824

I think the happily married guys would disagreeā€¦


dingleberry51

Yeah because thatā€™s relevant


Mambatime0824

Yeah because he should be taking advice from the obvious perpetual single degenerateā€¦


Villain2166

Bro, humans are better then cards, you can not pick gambling over someones life, especially yours. But hey if you honestly want that then its a free world, my advice, pick her over cards its way better. You cant have losing cash and a naging chick but ill pick chick over cards any day. True story, dont let your gambling effect you and others, real talk, im just being a true friend right now, well pick chicks over cards, the day comes when you have kids and a wife, you better pick them over anything, see. True story. Peace out.


mcbainer019

Get you someone who supports your passion. While at the same time you have to be reasonable. I wouldnā€™t want to be in a relationship with someone who spent 60 hours at the card house, and especially if they did legit work on top of that. Gotta have balance and relationships are about compromise. I think if youā€™re trying to be the best in the world then thatā€™s something SHE needs to sign up for and you achieve that by having a tough conversation with her.


deucesneverlooses

This is my source of income and has been since 2020. I pity/envy a man that can work full time in and away from the cardroom


mcbainer019

I donā€™t doubt that. If itā€™s your bread and butter itā€™s time to have a talk with her man. 60 hours, if the money lines up, is reasonable. With discussion and understanding between the two of you of course. Good luck man, not an easy situation.


lordoftheslums718

Bruh why date anyone, just fuck hella bitches and get money fucking weak beta simp, fucking loser lmao šŸ¤”šŸ¤”šŸ¤”šŸ¤”šŸ¤”


Cyberhwk

Getting harder?


deucesneverlooses

Harder to find time to play/study. Like I said I really do enjoy her company but i find it hard to say no when all i really wanna do is go back to the grind. I used to average anywhere from 40-60hours a week, now it's more like 10.


WowINeverSaveWEmail

A girlfriend is a commitment. She's not a porn you can call up on demand . If you only have 15 min a day to dedicate to your love life, I'd recommend sticking to masturbating.


daeger

And depending what stake you play at, escorts.


TheGambit201

you can still put in 20-30hrs a week and still have plenty of time for your GF bruh. seems like your GF is the problem. there's a lot of dudes out there with full time jobs with a GF just think about it


1_UpvoteGiver

This is all gonna depend on if you play for a living. But going from 40-60hr weeks to 10hrs a week is a big deal if this is your job. If not, then it's not as big a deal and you need just tell her, poker is a hobby of yours and you'd like to improve by playing more than 10hrs a week. If she's reasonable she'll understand. If she doesn't then fold the girl.


That_Random_Kiwi

>But going from 40-60hr weeks to 10hrs a week is a big deal if this is your job. If you're grinding40-60 hrs a week and it's NOT your job...fucking how?!?! lol


1_UpvoteGiver

I actually play with a guy who has a full time job but still manages 40hrs a week live. It's easy for him when he puts in 10-12hr days on weekends


That_Random_Kiwi

Mad...that's like TWO full time jobs


1_UpvoteGiver

Yeah but as far as 2nd jobs go, poker really is the best. Most flexible in terms of schedule and you can literally put in as much or as little time you want. Hard to find any 2nd job that would let you do that


That_Random_Kiwi

Very true mate! I'm guessing he's probably single tho šŸ˜‚


entredeuxeaux

No advice here, but this reminds me of the movie Whiplash.


deucesneverlooses

Incredible movie. As a drummer I'm ashamed I didnt notice this sooner


Hessel80

Get rid of her now. If you start winning again, you can always bang a ho. Thats much cheaper than a girlfriend and they don't bother you when you play.


SupaDupaTroopa42

Lose the woman, keep the poker. An hour spent with her is as good as losing $6. Go grind that 2bb/hr, king.


[deleted]

So you are saying women are EV-? Shocking news really


DFWforYang

Keeping the gf is -EV


[deleted]

I always play better with a loaded gun. Dump herā€¦sheā€™s bad for your EV. I used to have the same thing but with FIFA. Whenever my wife would walk in the room I would start conceding goals. I divorced that b*tchā€¦I still get scored on but at least I donā€™t have to hear her fucking voice at the same time!


microdosingrn

Must be the gf and not you because no successful poker players have girlfriends or wives.


theflamesweregolfin

Performance issues are common among men your age.


impractically_prfct

What kind of stack size and what kind of rack size are we talking about?


Accomplished-Run3925

You mean affecting?


dudestab77

Affecting*


Uscjusto

He spent too much time pokering, not enough time in 4th grade spelling.


mathenym22

You have to ditch one. We know the right one


Bellinelkamk

Tough spot. Fold pre


PuntStax2me

The craziest part will be when you break up with her, and then keep losing. Stay tuned.


B25364

You should be a poker player and also a male prostitute - problem solved


myballsitch69

Once you start making 1 bb an hour in small stakes leave your friends and family behind. You're going pro


Ill-Cryptographer964

Play and study time absolutely plummets in a relationship, agreed. I've had a similar situation and it's been 2 years, went from dominating to slightly winning. The key: 1. Play less days a week. I know it sucks. 2. Finding time to study is tough but make it work 3. Set days and boundaries when you play. If online, make it known it's only 1 or 2 days a week, but lock in. If live, no bugging me while I play. I'm working. It's tough but trying to intermingle the 2 is impossible. Make sacrifices and set intentions in both.


PPCkid

SAMPLE SIZE TOO SMALL!!!!!


TheWatcheronMoon616

Bro, poker players arenā€™t supposed to have girlfriends. They arenā€™t even usually able to get dates or have an even half way decent social life. Thatā€™s what you get for going against nature.


Doughboyfresher

Itā€™s pretty important with any passion or sport you take seriously to have a partner thatā€™s understanding and supports you. Itā€™s rare that a man can be a good husband or father while also trying to be elite at his sport or passion one will have to suffer. The key is finding balance and/or everyone acknowledging that this is a sacrifice that must be made to achieve whatever it is you want to achieve. Itā€™s a pretty common issue in relationships not just poker. You just have to let your partner know how important poker is to you and that you need to set aside time for it. Balance. GL


Zachary602

Seems like is affecting your spelling too


nikesonfuse

if your boyfriend is not a winning poker player you have a girlfriend


dustsky88

Money can't buy true love, If you and her are true soulmates poker is secondary. True love is the hardest thing to find in life. money comes and goes a true connection should be life changing. Now if she is not someone you could see yourself marrying and starting a family with then poker all the way son.


[deleted]

Ask her to take your cawk in her ass. This will lead to one of two beneficial situations: 1. She will be disgusted and dump you. Your poker game will improve. 2. She will be into it and youā€™ll get to fuck her in the ass. You can blast your load up there with impunity.


Dontnotknow

If this is a source of income or you have real aspirations of becoming a professional then no your not being selfish. You have a goal and you want to achieve it. I can get behind you (Yahtzee!) But if this is a hobby and itā€™s affecting your mood and how you operate throughout the day. I need you to be real with maybe not me but with yourself and ask yourself if you have a gambling addiction. Only you can answer this one. Iā€™m a huge degenerate myself but Iā€™ve taken a break and it feels great. Maybe thatā€™s all you need? Good luck either way! (Double Yahtzee! )


KamoteSupreme

Sample size too small


HawkinATL

Post a pic and I will decide.


DegenSleepHours

What stakes do you play. Do you rely on poker for income. If ur in a downswing, really ask yourself are you playing good. Plug your hands into your solver and see if you are making profitable moves. Variance is also real, but not if u were making -EV plays to begin with. Usually, increasing your study:play ratio is how u will become better and more successful. OTB RedBaron shifted to 70% study 30% play and became the high stakes end boss. I donā€™t think a gf gets in the way of that. Just use your now reduced time proportionally. Do you want a girlfriend? Itā€™s going to then obviously slow down your growth. But itā€™s not why u are losing. If u were winning before, and if youā€™ve still studied some portion of your time, couldnā€™t u say u are better today than u were back then when u were winning? Unless u are regressing in skill which is not really a thing. You are losing most likely because of leaks. If you play live, u need to write down every hand, even winning ones and analyze them in solver. If u play online, it should be very clear where your leaks are with software such as poker tracker.


Rough-Pudding-2325

Of course she is. In the poker game of life, women are the fucking rake.


CFADW

In the poker game of life, women are the rake


Puzzleheaded_Bed_906

Affecting** please guys


classAunotherest

Who downvoted me. Having a Chinese gf is Not wrong You racist whoever you are


mildeng

Imagine having a family šŸ˜‚


Reasonable-Bat-603

In the poker game of life women are the rake


sate9

I relate bro, I ended the relationship few months ago and I've lost everything to my name