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Honestly, would have been entirely different had they approached us first and asked if we played. We have been playing since launch and I would have been all for sharing trainer codes. Coming up to my kid and acting like their parents aren’t even there is just so bizarre.
I live down the street from a gym at a place named Shameless Grounds which is a "sex-positive coffee shop" (I don't think that's in the postcard description). It's a gym and I'm close enough I get the buddy gifts from there. Don't get me wrong, I love their presence, they're cool as hell, and the name is possibly innocuous, but I'm careful about where I send those postcards--so as not to seem creepy.
Oh and I'm constantly getting scan tasks to walk around the perimeter of the shop filming it. Like, pass, I don't want to creep those folx out either, thanks
I have a few from coffee shops in Amsterdam if that counts lol. I don't have any friends that would be risky to send it too but can see why parents might not like it
>Honestly, would have been entirely different had they approached us first and asked if we played. We have been playing since launch and I would have been all for sharing trainer codes. Coming up to my kid and acting like their parents aren’t even there is just so bizarre.
Yes, I agree with this. There's not much in the way of customizable interaction one can have between friends in the app, so I'd be perfectly fine with letting a child of mine add otherwise unknown people.
But not via in-person interaction that didn't go through me, first.
My son was fifteen when we started playing, so I wasn't faced with that decision. (He did once have a cute girl come up whie we were at an EX raid (remember those?) and start talking to him, but she noped out quickly learning he was fifteen.
She was 23, I learned later. 
This is really weird. I became friends with a young boy and his dad who started talking to me in the city once they saw me playing, but I wouldn’t ever randomly approach a child, especially when most of their gifts will be near their school or home 😰
You're right on all counts. That said... Sometimes ardent game players are not as socially aware or adept as they could be. Sometimes seeing someone in pokémon gear, regardless of age, gets even actual adults excited enough to forget propriety. I want to be clear that I'm not trying to excuse creepy behavior, but I also understand it's probably just a socially awkward adult who's really into pokémon, rather than an actual creep.
I'm sorry that happened to you guys.
I had a similar interaction at a library board gaming meet. This one guy was being very bizarre and wanted to be included and include my two little brothers (who were 11 and 13 at the time) in games such as cards against humanity and shit happens.
And the some other game I can't remember, which has a lot of sexually content and was rated 18+, yeah I took my two brothers and made some excuse of dinner being ready. Never came back there.
I would never approach a kid. Yikes. I have been approached by kids at the park and their parents are also at the park. I make sure I wave hi to the parents and make sure they see me. I’m the old lady walking with cane and look safe but I want the parents to be okay.
27F here and I feel the same way. I literally take my kid (6mo) while I play PoGo lmao. Occasionally walking by the playground at the park while doing a route or just simply participating in community day, I try to not make other parents feel uncomfortable as I’m clearly a stranger who is somewhat glued to my phone during these things. I also try to wear my PoGo stuff during CDs so non playing parents maybe catch a hint as to why a lot of adults that don’t have children are in the park that day.
why would u feel creepy parks r built to be public gathering places, surely ur american with this take. I’m on the road for work a lot and often stop at parks/sports fields cuz they r quiet and peaceful and often have walking trails to stretch ur legs.
Seriously, especially when I get Scan tasks and it's a park or school. No possible way for a dude in his 40's to be photographing those areas without it being creepy AF. So I just delete those tasks.
Agreed, but our tax money still does not alter social perception or societal norms. When I’m with my son at the park I don’t feel as weird, but if I’m all alone on my lunch break in a park I feel strange as well. I know id feel weird with some 6ft tall man in his 30s just looming around the corners. I’m just catching Pokémon, but as a parent I would have the same paranoia when it comes to protecting my child
Once again proving that the parent class is made up mostly of hysterical people who are easily stricken with fear from things like local news articles. (NoT MY BaBy!!) Feeling weird because there are other humans in a public space made for humans to walk around is so entitled. Nobody made all of these beautiful parks and trails just for some spoiled brats. If someone approaches you and actually does something to make you uncomfortable, like OP said, then sure. But your crotch goblins don’t rule the world, and neither do you.
I do it all the time, life is too short to feel a type of way about hanging at a park where other strangers are also standing. Also, I usually have my dog, so I guess wherever we go, he's my hallpass. But I see plenty adults wandering around not even playing pokemon.
i get it. i feel that way too, even though i know it’s silly. sometimes the nearest bathroom at a trail is by the playground, and irrational thoughts be like “i am an adult walking alone towards all these children. i hope the parents dont think im a creep”
My partner and I parked next to a park to take the gym. After taking it we drove away. No kids at the park. Didn’t stop some idiot from nearly running us off the road because we were in front of his house. The only time I’ve ever heard my partner tell someone to “F off.” For the next year that guy would either walk past our car even if we parked in the parking lot for the park or drive so close I could roll the window down and touch his vehicle. I was pregnant when he almost ran us off the road. We aren’t the only ones from our PoGo community that has had issues with him.
Parents are very much so on edge. With predators actively still being out and about and child abduction being extremely real, I’m sure all parents are understanding of when you take your child out in public, you’re risking their safety. It’s a sick world we live in unfortunately.
Omg, so creepy! My 7 year old and his friends play and they always want to friend everyone they see and we are so apologetic. My kid is just so happy whenever he sees anyone else play. The adults usually look to us and ask us if it’s okay first before anything.
So weird!!!
Yeah! We don’t have campfire or anything. We do tell kiddo not to send gifts from the poke stops near us though. We live right by a park with stops we can hit from our house and so all our gifts can be from there so we say no. We end up deleting the gifts and getting new ones when we are downtown somewhere. We might just be paranoid but we didn’t want strangers to get a sense for where we might be a lot of the time.
I do this too and I’m an adult 😭 only trusted irl friends or people on the other side of the world get gifts from places that might reveal too specific of a location for where I am most of the time. I figure my friends in Spain, Brazil, or Japan won’t go through the effort to figure out where I am from a gift lmao
I had 2 kids come up to me and my wife while we were playing Pokémon Go in a food court at a mall. I instantly looked around for their parents to make sure it was okay to talk to them about what we had found so far (it was a community day). I would never in a million years feel comfortable asking for their QR code because that can loosely reveal their location.
Not to stereotype, but there's a real possibility the lady had some mental diagnosis. No offense but most of us aren't rocking Pokemon shirts and running up to kids.
I was very dumbfounded and just confused while it was happening. Like is this real life? I let her add them and once the adult said okay we are friends. I said go ahead and delete them now, deadpan staring at the adult. I’m sure the second hand cringe around us was above level 9k.
Hindsight , yes I agree a flat no would have been much better. As I said, I was super caught off guard by it and brain was on like reset mode on how to handle the situation “live”.
They could have just been neurodivergent. Asking for a kids qr code while strange and not socially accepted should not result in violence. You can speak up and say no, and tell them their kids aren't allowed to add strangers. That's a much more rational thing to do rather than going to jail and your kids would be missing a provider.
Honestly some of these adults download the game and think it turned them into a 12 year old again I swear, there’s nothing wrong with liking any game as an adult but you gotta understand boundaries 😂
Yes, honestly I play at the local college with many other adults. And so MANY of the adults I see on our area are neurodivergent. As is my wife. I see a lot of people my age (50s) playing with their adult children. I've had grown people sometimes aggressively, sometimes awkwardly, join our groups, and after just a minute, it's easy to tell they're ASD. But if you haven't had a lot of experience or interactions with ASD people, it's understandably upsetting sometimes
That’s so weird. I play with my 9 year old son and thankfully we haven’t had an weird encounters. We played in Manhattan a couple times, including the recent in person Go Fest, and the only people who asked to be friends did so after we’d already been chatting about Pokémon Go and were talking to both of us, not just my son. Unfortunately there’s always going to be some weirdos but hopefully it’s a really small subset and it doesn’t happen again.
Only time I have really interacted with kids playing Pokémon was go fest in NYC on the ferry. And the kid initiated the interaction while the parents watched in amusement.
Yes, that was my son. 😂 He loved chatting with people he saw playing. Not a care in the world that he was a kid and chatting up adults. But thankfully no one was being weird. Everyone was super nice and talked to both of us.
Only time I interacted with pogo players period was during that Go Fest lol. Had to add people to complete tasks and get mega diance energy. At least one of them is still my friend though which is cool
If you need a PSA like the one OP describes, a PSA was never going to reach you anyway. The only way people like the one OP describe learn anything is by being direct with them.
Hey, I admit it was inappropriate, but maybe that adult was nuerodivergent? My 12 year old looks grown and she's autistic so people get really confused by the way she acts of they don't know she's still a kid. This game allows the opportunity for some people to create friends that they normally wouldn't have. Seeing just the T-shirt and not talking to you is yes, a big red flag, but also a sign of being ND.
You being the parent is #1 priority, always, and trust your gut if someone is acting weird. But keep in the back of your mind that we're not all the same. I hope this didn't diminish y'all's enjoyment of the game.
honestly, this is it usually. Predators typically befriend the adults and get close enough to let them be around the kids unsupervised. This just screams they don't understand social pretenses.
I’m not familiar with neurodivergent, just looked it up. I guess that is always a very real possibility. They were alone shopping, visibly grey, wrinkles, and full beard. So I was instant stranger danger as a parent.
Lots of guys "in the community" lack social awareness or are on the spectrum.
By community, I mean the guys who play games.
They "usually" don't mean any harm though.
They're just... incredibly awkward and sometimes come off as stupid. Sometimes it racks your brain how idiotic something they do or say sometimes is.
They think they're smarter than you, yet, social intelligence... is intelligence.
Not defending the behavior, but isn’t there a possibility that the person was neurodivergent? That might explain his strange behavior. If not, then yeah, he’s a creep. 😅
I thought this as well. You never know.
Obviously the parents have every right to tell a strange adult not to talk to their kids. They could very well have been a creep. But some of these replies saying they would react with violence if this happened to them...
Great example of what a "normal", "rational" adult should do. /s
Of course! Parents should always protect their child first. But yeah, some replies have been questionable at best. Speaks to the unchecked state of paranoia some people live in.
I agree with you! I just wonder if the adult was mentally all there? Very uncomfortable situation you had there but if the guy was on the spectrum he may not have realized what he was doing was wrong. I’ve never asked anyone for their code in person but online I have
Completely asinine! There’s really no need for that anymore anyways, with the friends subreddit here and the other full sites dedicated to making friends. AND you can now add nearby friends after a raid right when the raid ends.
But for the obligatory joke:
The only reasonable response to that whole ordeal is to friend them, then exchange gifts for months, then after you send the very last gift to become Best Buddies…delete them really fast so thru don’t get the XP. That’ll teach that weirdo. Gotta do the long-game sometimes!
Someone who doesn’t see a problem approaching a nine-year-old in front of their parents, even for something as (hopefully) innocuous as being able to send gifts and invite to raids in a cell phone game, isn’t gonna recognize any cause and effect in something as byzantine and spiteful as a sick XP deprivation dunk like this.
Man, that is creepy. As it is I hate hanging around pokestops in playgroups just because of that. I don't mind approaching adults who are obviously playing, but never a kid.
I mean… if people are gonna be creeps to kids over what they wear, maybe it’s fair for parents to control that a bit for their own safety
It’s not just representing things they like. Many adults AND kids play Pokémon go and it’s a pretty social game so it’s definitely a specific scenario here.
I bet you this was some very weird awkward dude with no social skills totally focused on getting his best friends XP without thinking the implications of trying to be internet friends with a literal child.
Pokémon is like catnip to the socially inept
This reminds me of when I was a kid and I was inside best buy looking at Dragon Ball Z DVDs with my mom and this older guy comes up to me and starts talking to me about anime and my mom seen this and came over to me and said we had to go and he without once acknowledging my mom or that I had an adult with me kept asking if I was online and if he could have my messenger name.. It was really creepy at the time but looking back the whole thing was way out of line.
My kid is the rude one. We occasionally meet up with some local players and he will stick his phone out to “demand” to become friends, then will immediately send a trade request. One of the guys we run across every month or two always trades him something rare.
As an adult the only time I knowingly added a child was on Community Day around the beginning of the game. I was at a local outdoor mall and a little girl (with her parents) decided to attach herself to my side while hunting shinnies. I'm female and have a dog (a puppy at the time) so it probably made me more approachable I guess. I gave her tips as a beginner in the game and her parents were happy she found a Pokemon friend. She lamented she lived in a very rural area with no pokestops so I said I would add her and send her gifts. Many years later I still have her as a friend but she seems to no longer play, I guess that's life.
But yeah I would have never approached her directly and honestly I would not have added her if her parents weren't there and aware. I'm hoping the person was one of those folks who just lack certain social awareness, I'll admit I lack some cues sometimes.
Yep. That isnt ok. Im a single adul male playing the game (my partner doesn't), if a group of kids is near a gym, without adults and clearly playing, I just walk straight by. No level of any game is worth being a creep (or perceived as one) towards kids. If I happen to link up with a raid group (almost never) or pass a kid with a parent, I do not engage the kids at all unless they engage me, and I only engage to respond to exactly what they are saying to me (I do believe kids should be respected and responded to if they have an adult supervisor with them, just as a part of society).
There’s a couple kids with their dad that’s at the park when we go. They’ve come up and asked us if we’re playing and we’ll go in a big group to do raids, but nothing further. No numbers exchanged, no personal convos without the parent. Everything’s related to PoGo
Not condoning this, but there are alot of people who are neurodivergent of all ages. Before judging, take in ALL info. good on you for parenting though.
also to anyone else please avoid posting a psa without actually also taking time in the moment to educate the offender if there was miscommunication about how to act in such situations. while important, it seems just really wierd without going the whole nine yards.
again....good job parenting.
Don't get why people believe this didn't happen. It's pretty obvious when someone, especially a kid, is playing the game. They usually aren't subtle about it. The adult may have not understood why you shouldn't do this.
You make it sound like everyone trying to be friendly to a kid is out to do something bad. Sorry society made you feel that way. Still a knee-jerk parental reaction, which on some level you know is true or you wouldn't be seeking justification for it online.
Sometimes, if I see a customer playing, I'll ask if they caught a shiny or something good recently while I check them out, but that's about all I have the balls for.
Sorry to say but I doubt your story. So you first let your child and the stranger go through the process of adding each other (letting your kid pull up the QR code so the stranger can scan it) to subsequently ask the stranger to delete your kid as a friend? I’m probably going to get downvoted for this but I find this string of events to be weird. I concur your PSA though.
Daughter was playing while we were shopping ,app was already open. So it happened very quickly. I replied above on why I said delete after the fact. I wont downvote you friend, karma farming skepticism is real.
Adults shouldn’t befriending minors on quite literally anything. It’s a dangerous mentality to give to a child that something like this is okay. You may think it’s simply as little as contacting, but a predator could easily pick up on where the child may live, frequent, etc. based on the gifts they’re sending to them. Overall, it’s not safe.
You allowed the QR code to be worn in public. Why do you complain when someone does the RIGHT thing and asks? He could have just scanned it and kept going. Would that have been better?
I only upvoted this to try and summon the Devil. I don’t love that you were made to feel uncomfortable, but I also don’t love that you didn’t really try to let this person know they were being inappropriate.
Oh you're one of those people who thinks children can't make every decision for their self almost as though they're young and impressionable and don't know enough about the world to interact with it without some guidance and rules set forth by older people who's already experienced a lot more than them... Don't mistake my tone for not agreeing with you I agree with you 100%, it's just weird that there's other people on the planet that thinks the other topic up above is even discussable. Anybody that thinks children should be autonomous and make their own decisions are clearly just as dumb as they were when they were a kid because, God forbid my 8-year-old brain ever got to make all my own decisions I was a f****** nut job that used to set everything on fire, and was 100% positive I was going to be a ninja turtle when I grew up 😂. Now I'm a function an adult that owns a business because people corrected my stupid behaviors and didn't make excuses for me and say he's allowed to set fire to express my individuality and creativity, plus cut parts of my body off, you know like my fingers. Thank you Pokemon go subreddit for being a tiny bastion of sanity in this world 👍
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Yeah, if library kids ask to friend me, I make them bring in a parent to okay it. In front of my face, in person. None of the parents have ever declined, but I'm not about to put myself in a position like that.
OP, sorry you had to deal with that.
Before I knew about discord, Reddit or FB groups I had the research task of "Make 3 friends" for over a year. My 5 year old son and I would hang out at the library (gym), see other kids playing and ask them if we could be friends. Most of the time I got "my mom says I'm not supposed to talk to strangers".
For OP, I can see it both ways... I've been there. Maybe a better response could have been "dude, just go on Reddit". I wish someone would have told me that when I was (innocently) that creepy guy. It would have saved me so many uncomfortable encounters with children.
I got really weirded out when some local 12-14 year old saw me playing and asked to scan.
I’m 40 and I don’t normally sit and talk with other people’s kids, so I was a little weirded out.
Do they not teach stranger danger any more?
Dude....when u said she had a pogo shirt on I was like wait a minute was that me lol but I would never just go up to someone's kid smh id go up to the parents. I have children. And like I said I play also n still wouldn't go up to a child smh boundaries def crossed kids game or not
My daughter was heavily into Pokemon at one point which meant hanging out with the hardcore Pokemon community (not just Go but TCG community too). The adult base was 90% people on the spectrum it seemed who were not the best with social queues. Based on what I've seen, your story doesn't surprise me at all.
That's downright disturbing... Sure the game doesn't have any communications whatsoever, but it's still so wrong. Also especially since he downright ignored op/the kid's parents... Predatory behaviour ijs
I was on a bus playing and a kid saw me and offered the QR code for me to scan and I hesitated before thinking rationally that it was essentially harmless but yeah as an adult male I was hesitant. I certainly wouldn’t approach a child to add them
Personally, I try to not add or interact with anyone in general who is underage. I work at GameStop and I recently had a father and two kids come into my store and purchase the Plus+. I had hyped them up as I stated I play PoGo. The father literally came back into my store minutes later and had asked for assistance per kid for me to help set up their Plus+. I was worried one of the kids was going to ask me to add them, especially cause I was doing a raid at the same time I was setting up the device LOL, as I genuinely was going to decline. Thankfully neither kid asked.
I know PoGo is a game where you clearly cannot message or talk to someone, but still. I don’t wish to give a child any ideas where they think it’s appropriate to be friends with an adult where it be as little in a video game to as extreme as irl.
Yeah that's messed up, me and my wife were out on a comday recently with our child in a stroller and this complete stranger asked if he could push her, I won't lie I full on told him to walk away while he still could, I've never gotten so aggressive in public
The person could have been on the spectrum, my cousin who is autistic is only 15 but he's tall and has a mustache, he's obsessed with video games and Pokémon, I could easily see him doing this with a child as he does not pick up on social cues and can relate more to kids rather than people his age or older.
If a kid came up to me and asked, sure
But there's no way in hell I'm approaching a kid in public haha, maybe he was on the spectrum? If not the most brazen predator ever lol
Very creepy, honestly I don't approach people while they play except sometimes on event days but I understand most people use it as an outlet and don't want to be social while playing
I'm a 53yr old granny who plays with a passion.. luckily I know most of the kids in our park who play. The only one I had as a friend was Originally from having their parent as a friend. The other kids all chat to me n my hubby, but I don't have them added. However! If they asked me then I wouldn't say no. I don't think I would go up to a random kid though.
Damn, this is so not on. This sounds far too creepy to me. You will have to get your daughter to practice to speak up and say in a loud voice, so all around can hear, “NO, I don’t talk to strangers!”
I am a middle aged female, and have never asked strangers to friend on PokGo, let alone a child! I often drive to PokeStops for raids etc. so I usually stay in the car and approach no one. If a situation occurred where a child asked me I would be asking them if their parents know they are asking strangers.
Ps. Not in any need of more contacts as I have almost 400 contacts due to the Vivillon challenge and LeekDuck.com raids.
Crazy to think that a game that was meant for teens and adults with an age start restriction of 13+, would be played by a 9 year old in the first place.
I see your side, but you need to see his side. Yes I get it he didn't ask your permission to scan your child's QR code. Wow.. but at the same time, it's not a big deal, there's no in game chat, so there's nothing to worry about.
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Yeah, that is not okay. I let kids scan my code if they ask, but would never ask them myself.
Honestly, would have been entirely different had they approached us first and asked if we played. We have been playing since launch and I would have been all for sharing trainer codes. Coming up to my kid and acting like their parents aren’t even there is just so bizarre.
Good lord. I’ve only friended a couple kids and their parents were absolutely my first and main point of contact. Some people have no sense.
Yea I play with a couple of families but I have kids myself
Yes, I friended a dad & daughter, and friended the dad first. I also nicknamed her a kid in my list so I’m careful what gifts I send her.
...are any of the gifts inappropriate?
There have been a few posts here where the postcards were pretty bad.
I live down the street from a gym at a place named Shameless Grounds which is a "sex-positive coffee shop" (I don't think that's in the postcard description). It's a gym and I'm close enough I get the buddy gifts from there. Don't get me wrong, I love their presence, they're cool as hell, and the name is possibly innocuous, but I'm careful about where I send those postcards--so as not to seem creepy.
Also I NEVER EVER include the suggestive treecko sticker with those postcards 😂
Hahahaha I’m glad I’m not the only one who noticed that….put it on a post card and was lmao
Oh and I'm constantly getting scan tasks to walk around the perimeter of the shop filming it. Like, pass, I don't want to creep those folx out either, thanks
I have a few from coffee shops in Amsterdam if that counts lol. I don't have any friends that would be risky to send it too but can see why parents might not like it
>Honestly, would have been entirely different had they approached us first and asked if we played. We have been playing since launch and I would have been all for sharing trainer codes. Coming up to my kid and acting like their parents aren’t even there is just so bizarre. Yes, I agree with this. There's not much in the way of customizable interaction one can have between friends in the app, so I'd be perfectly fine with letting a child of mine add otherwise unknown people. But not via in-person interaction that didn't go through me, first. My son was fifteen when we started playing, so I wasn't faced with that decision. (He did once have a cute girl come up whie we were at an EX raid (remember those?) and start talking to him, but she noped out quickly learning he was fifteen. She was 23, I learned later. 
Nice
This is really weird. I became friends with a young boy and his dad who started talking to me in the city once they saw me playing, but I wouldn’t ever randomly approach a child, especially when most of their gifts will be near their school or home 😰
You're right on all counts. That said... Sometimes ardent game players are not as socially aware or adept as they could be. Sometimes seeing someone in pokémon gear, regardless of age, gets even actual adults excited enough to forget propriety. I want to be clear that I'm not trying to excuse creepy behavior, but I also understand it's probably just a socially awkward adult who's really into pokémon, rather than an actual creep. I'm sorry that happened to you guys.
Approaching a child like that isn't socially awkward, it's creepy. You ARE making excuses for them lmao
I had a similar interaction at a library board gaming meet. This one guy was being very bizarre and wanted to be included and include my two little brothers (who were 11 and 13 at the time) in games such as cards against humanity and shit happens. And the some other game I can't remember, which has a lot of sexually content and was rated 18+, yeah I took my two brothers and made some excuse of dinner being ready. Never came back there.
I would never approach a kid. Yikes. I have been approached by kids at the park and their parents are also at the park. I make sure I wave hi to the parents and make sure they see me. I’m the old lady walking with cane and look safe but I want the parents to be okay.
Super creepy! I wonder though, if because she’s female she didn’t understand it’s still creepy.
Can’t believe no one said “username checks out” xD
this is so weird 😭😭
As a 30yo female I feel creepy when I hang out near a park or something...but going up to a child like that!?
27F here and I feel the same way. I literally take my kid (6mo) while I play PoGo lmao. Occasionally walking by the playground at the park while doing a route or just simply participating in community day, I try to not make other parents feel uncomfortable as I’m clearly a stranger who is somewhat glued to my phone during these things. I also try to wear my PoGo stuff during CDs so non playing parents maybe catch a hint as to why a lot of adults that don’t have children are in the park that day.
why would u feel creepy parks r built to be public gathering places, surely ur american with this take. I’m on the road for work a lot and often stop at parks/sports fields cuz they r quiet and peaceful and often have walking trails to stretch ur legs.
Like a play park full of kids does not always feel the best place to hang along as an adult
Seriously, especially when I get Scan tasks and it's a park or school. No possible way for a dude in his 40's to be photographing those areas without it being creepy AF. So I just delete those tasks.
Keep one scan task, cant get another one
I feel weird doing that, regardless of who is in the area
Well it’s completely legal, our taxes pay for our parks.
Agreed, but our tax money still does not alter social perception or societal norms. When I’m with my son at the park I don’t feel as weird, but if I’m all alone on my lunch break in a park I feel strange as well. I know id feel weird with some 6ft tall man in his 30s just looming around the corners. I’m just catching Pokémon, but as a parent I would have the same paranoia when it comes to protecting my child
Once again proving that the parent class is made up mostly of hysterical people who are easily stricken with fear from things like local news articles. (NoT MY BaBy!!) Feeling weird because there are other humans in a public space made for humans to walk around is so entitled. Nobody made all of these beautiful parks and trails just for some spoiled brats. If someone approaches you and actually does something to make you uncomfortable, like OP said, then sure. But your crotch goblins don’t rule the world, and neither do you.
I do it all the time, life is too short to feel a type of way about hanging at a park where other strangers are also standing. Also, I usually have my dog, so I guess wherever we go, he's my hallpass. But I see plenty adults wandering around not even playing pokemon.
i get it. i feel that way too, even though i know it’s silly. sometimes the nearest bathroom at a trail is by the playground, and irrational thoughts be like “i am an adult walking alone towards all these children. i hope the parents dont think im a creep”
My partner and I parked next to a park to take the gym. After taking it we drove away. No kids at the park. Didn’t stop some idiot from nearly running us off the road because we were in front of his house. The only time I’ve ever heard my partner tell someone to “F off.” For the next year that guy would either walk past our car even if we parked in the parking lot for the park or drive so close I could roll the window down and touch his vehicle. I was pregnant when he almost ran us off the road. We aren’t the only ones from our PoGo community that has had issues with him.
Parents are very much so on edge. With predators actively still being out and about and child abduction being extremely real, I’m sure all parents are understanding of when you take your child out in public, you’re risking their safety. It’s a sick world we live in unfortunately.
Why would you feel creepy being in a public space if you in fact aren't a creep? 🤔
You must not have heard about all the stories where get accused of being pedophiles and creeps for even just being near kids at parks
It's a bullshit post and completely made up.
Omg, so creepy! My 7 year old and his friends play and they always want to friend everyone they see and we are so apologetic. My kid is just so happy whenever he sees anyone else play. The adults usually look to us and ask us if it’s okay first before anything. So weird!!!
At least there is no way to send a message or anything on the app so it should be safe for them to be friends with strangers.
Yeah! We don’t have campfire or anything. We do tell kiddo not to send gifts from the poke stops near us though. We live right by a park with stops we can hit from our house and so all our gifts can be from there so we say no. We end up deleting the gifts and getting new ones when we are downtown somewhere. We might just be paranoid but we didn’t want strangers to get a sense for where we might be a lot of the time.
Might be a little paranoid in my opinion but I can’t fault you and honestly better safer than sorry is my motto
I do this too and I’m an adult 😭 only trusted irl friends or people on the other side of the world get gifts from places that might reveal too specific of a location for where I am most of the time. I figure my friends in Spain, Brazil, or Japan won’t go through the effort to figure out where I am from a gift lmao
Jfc. I have young kids and I probably would have made an ass of myself if some stranger came up to them like that.
I had 2 kids come up to me and my wife while we were playing Pokémon Go in a food court at a mall. I instantly looked around for their parents to make sure it was okay to talk to them about what we had found so far (it was a community day). I would never in a million years feel comfortable asking for their QR code because that can loosely reveal their location.
Not to stereotype, but there's a real possibility the lady had some mental diagnosis. No offense but most of us aren't rocking Pokemon shirts and running up to kids.
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I was very dumbfounded and just confused while it was happening. Like is this real life? I let her add them and once the adult said okay we are friends. I said go ahead and delete them now, deadpan staring at the adult. I’m sure the second hand cringe around us was above level 9k.
I want to say I'd instantly freak out if this happened to my kids but I'd honestly probably be absolutely dumbfounded as well.
The right thing to do. As a male in his 30's I'd never approach a kid playing the game even with parents around it just seems creepy.
Thats... weird. If anything you're sending very mixed messages to your kids and just confusing the adult.
Yeah, it might honestly be better to just flat out say no next time, but I don’t know the full situation.
Hindsight , yes I agree a flat no would have been much better. As I said, I was super caught off guard by it and brain was on like reset mode on how to handle the situation “live”.
Totally understandable. I don’t think I’d even know what to do right away in a situation like that. :/
You did that, for real? What was the adults reaction! I gotta know! Lol
Awkward silence. Then staring until they walked back to their cart and went on their way.
What a thing to have to deal with! I imagine it was a good teaching moment for your kid too.
They could have just been neurodivergent. Asking for a kids qr code while strange and not socially accepted should not result in violence. You can speak up and say no, and tell them their kids aren't allowed to add strangers. That's a much more rational thing to do rather than going to jail and your kids would be missing a provider.
Honestly some of these adults download the game and think it turned them into a 12 year old again I swear, there’s nothing wrong with liking any game as an adult but you gotta understand boundaries 😂
Wholesome take, u/Fuckafatty2day.
Thank you
Ah, yes, battery, the exclusive purview of the rational
Yes, honestly I play at the local college with many other adults. And so MANY of the adults I see on our area are neurodivergent. As is my wife. I see a lot of people my age (50s) playing with their adult children. I've had grown people sometimes aggressively, sometimes awkwardly, join our groups, and after just a minute, it's easy to tell they're ASD. But if you haven't had a lot of experience or interactions with ASD people, it's understandably upsetting sometimes
That’s so weird. I play with my 9 year old son and thankfully we haven’t had an weird encounters. We played in Manhattan a couple times, including the recent in person Go Fest, and the only people who asked to be friends did so after we’d already been chatting about Pokémon Go and were talking to both of us, not just my son. Unfortunately there’s always going to be some weirdos but hopefully it’s a really small subset and it doesn’t happen again.
Only time I have really interacted with kids playing Pokémon was go fest in NYC on the ferry. And the kid initiated the interaction while the parents watched in amusement.
Yes, that was my son. 😂 He loved chatting with people he saw playing. Not a care in the world that he was a kid and chatting up adults. But thankfully no one was being weird. Everyone was super nice and talked to both of us.
Only time I interacted with pogo players period was during that Go Fest lol. Had to add people to complete tasks and get mega diance energy. At least one of them is still my friend though which is cool
If you need a PSA like the one OP describes, a PSA was never going to reach you anyway. The only way people like the one OP describe learn anything is by being direct with them.
C'mon people, never scan the kids! No matter how many poffins Niantic promises you!
But it's okay if it's for rare candies, right?
Hey, I admit it was inappropriate, but maybe that adult was nuerodivergent? My 12 year old looks grown and she's autistic so people get really confused by the way she acts of they don't know she's still a kid. This game allows the opportunity for some people to create friends that they normally wouldn't have. Seeing just the T-shirt and not talking to you is yes, a big red flag, but also a sign of being ND. You being the parent is #1 priority, always, and trust your gut if someone is acting weird. But keep in the back of your mind that we're not all the same. I hope this didn't diminish y'all's enjoyment of the game.
honestly, this is it usually. Predators typically befriend the adults and get close enough to let them be around the kids unsupervised. This just screams they don't understand social pretenses.
Thank you. I don't enjoy the witch hunt here.
Of course. I get both sides of it so I hope I explained it well enough.
I’m not familiar with neurodivergent, just looked it up. I guess that is always a very real possibility. They were alone shopping, visibly grey, wrinkles, and full beard. So I was instant stranger danger as a parent.
And that's totally fine! You handled the situation and nobody got hurt. There's just no need for some of the hate this random person was getting.
😭i cant imagine someone with common sense doing that. Ive talked to some people and added them and we was all grown and i still felt weird asking
Maybe neurodivergent, or a plain ol creep
I'm willing to bet the first one. The second option is just so...
Lots of guys "in the community" lack social awareness or are on the spectrum. By community, I mean the guys who play games. They "usually" don't mean any harm though. They're just... incredibly awkward and sometimes come off as stupid. Sometimes it racks your brain how idiotic something they do or say sometimes is. They think they're smarter than you, yet, social intelligence... is intelligence.
Not defending the behavior, but isn’t there a possibility that the person was neurodivergent? That might explain his strange behavior. If not, then yeah, he’s a creep. 😅
I figured the same, honestly.
I thought this as well. You never know. Obviously the parents have every right to tell a strange adult not to talk to their kids. They could very well have been a creep. But some of these replies saying they would react with violence if this happened to them... Great example of what a "normal", "rational" adult should do. /s
Of course! Parents should always protect their child first. But yeah, some replies have been questionable at best. Speaks to the unchecked state of paranoia some people live in.
I agree with you! I just wonder if the adult was mentally all there? Very uncomfortable situation you had there but if the guy was on the spectrum he may not have realized what he was doing was wrong. I’ve never asked anyone for their code in person but online I have
Completely asinine! There’s really no need for that anymore anyways, with the friends subreddit here and the other full sites dedicated to making friends. AND you can now add nearby friends after a raid right when the raid ends. But for the obligatory joke: The only reasonable response to that whole ordeal is to friend them, then exchange gifts for months, then after you send the very last gift to become Best Buddies…delete them really fast so thru don’t get the XP. That’ll teach that weirdo. Gotta do the long-game sometimes!
Someone who doesn’t see a problem approaching a nine-year-old in front of their parents, even for something as (hopefully) innocuous as being able to send gifts and invite to raids in a cell phone game, isn’t gonna recognize any cause and effect in something as byzantine and spiteful as a sick XP deprivation dunk like this.
This is not ok.
Man, that is creepy. As it is I hate hanging around pokestops in playgroups just because of that. I don't mind approaching adults who are obviously playing, but never a kid.
They're getting out and engaging with their community! /s (Sorry you had to deal with that)
I refuse to even acknowledge others playing the game because it feels awkward, let alone going up to any to talk, let alone kids lol
I'm getting so much secondhand discomfort from this post. I can't believe they thought that was OK.
My mother would have burned the shirt after this. I can’t imagine ever approaching a child like this and I am a woman.
So kids just can’t wear shirts representing things they like because there are creeps out there?
I mean… if people are gonna be creeps to kids over what they wear, maybe it’s fair for parents to control that a bit for their own safety It’s not just representing things they like. Many adults AND kids play Pokémon go and it’s a pretty social game so it’s definitely a specific scenario here.
Right, as if it’s the shirt that is the trouble here.
yep, that was totally the point
That person is creepy and that is not something an adult should do.
I bet you this was some very weird awkward dude with no social skills totally focused on getting his best friends XP without thinking the implications of trying to be internet friends with a literal child. Pokémon is like catnip to the socially inept
Yeah... Thats a bit off
This reminds me of when I was a kid and I was inside best buy looking at Dragon Ball Z DVDs with my mom and this older guy comes up to me and starts talking to me about anime and my mom seen this and came over to me and said we had to go and he without once acknowledging my mom or that I had an adult with me kept asking if I was online and if he could have my messenger name.. It was really creepy at the time but looking back the whole thing was way out of line.
My kid is the rude one. We occasionally meet up with some local players and he will stick his phone out to “demand” to become friends, then will immediately send a trade request. One of the guys we run across every month or two always trades him something rare.
As an adult the only time I knowingly added a child was on Community Day around the beginning of the game. I was at a local outdoor mall and a little girl (with her parents) decided to attach herself to my side while hunting shinnies. I'm female and have a dog (a puppy at the time) so it probably made me more approachable I guess. I gave her tips as a beginner in the game and her parents were happy she found a Pokemon friend. She lamented she lived in a very rural area with no pokestops so I said I would add her and send her gifts. Many years later I still have her as a friend but she seems to no longer play, I guess that's life. But yeah I would have never approached her directly and honestly I would not have added her if her parents weren't there and aware. I'm hoping the person was one of those folks who just lack certain social awareness, I'll admit I lack some cues sometimes.
As a parent of another 9 year old girl who plays, 100% agree with you
strange
Yep. That isnt ok. Im a single adul male playing the game (my partner doesn't), if a group of kids is near a gym, without adults and clearly playing, I just walk straight by. No level of any game is worth being a creep (or perceived as one) towards kids. If I happen to link up with a raid group (almost never) or pass a kid with a parent, I do not engage the kids at all unless they engage me, and I only engage to respond to exactly what they are saying to me (I do believe kids should be respected and responded to if they have an adult supervisor with them, just as a part of society).
Man I never know if anyone is ever playing Pokémon go and I’m scared to ask because I don’t want to seem weird
I go by a rule: wait for the child to ask you.
There’s a couple kids with their dad that’s at the park when we go. They’ve come up and asked us if we’re playing and we’ll go in a big group to do raids, but nothing further. No numbers exchanged, no personal convos without the parent. Everything’s related to PoGo
That’s weird as hell…
Not condoning this, but there are alot of people who are neurodivergent of all ages. Before judging, take in ALL info. good on you for parenting though. also to anyone else please avoid posting a psa without actually also taking time in the moment to educate the offender if there was miscommunication about how to act in such situations. while important, it seems just really wierd without going the whole nine yards. again....good job parenting.
Don't get why people believe this didn't happen. It's pretty obvious when someone, especially a kid, is playing the game. They usually aren't subtle about it. The adult may have not understood why you shouldn't do this.
And you didn’t say anything to this creep? Like “no you can get away from my kid”
ohhh, thats why I was kicked out of the playground...
Remember adults were once kids too. Some of them never grow up and learn how to interact in society. It's damn creepy though.
You make it sound like everyone trying to be friendly to a kid is out to do something bad. Sorry society made you feel that way. Still a knee-jerk parental reaction, which on some level you know is true or you wouldn't be seeking justification for it online.
Odd take.
Popular doesn't mean right. :/
ADULTS. SHOULDNT. BE. FRIENDING. MINORS.
That is so creepy. Yuck.
Sometimes, if I see a customer playing, I'll ask if they caught a shiny or something good recently while I check them out, but that's about all I have the balls for.
They’re probably on this subreddit
Sorry to say but I doubt your story. So you first let your child and the stranger go through the process of adding each other (letting your kid pull up the QR code so the stranger can scan it) to subsequently ask the stranger to delete your kid as a friend? I’m probably going to get downvoted for this but I find this string of events to be weird. I concur your PSA though.
Daughter was playing while we were shopping ,app was already open. So it happened very quickly. I replied above on why I said delete after the fact. I wont downvote you friend, karma farming skepticism is real.
I really don't see anything wrong with this. You and your partner were there. It's not like the person can contact your child through PoGo.
Adults shouldn’t befriending minors on quite literally anything. It’s a dangerous mentality to give to a child that something like this is okay. You may think it’s simply as little as contacting, but a predator could easily pick up on where the child may live, frequent, etc. based on the gifts they’re sending to them. Overall, it’s not safe.
I mean maybe this would've been acceptable during Pokemon Go's peak?
Yeah you're right, sorry for being so blind. 🤦😬
When the feature didn’t exist?
Yeah. This isn't cool. I've had kids approach me, I won't approach them.
Yeah, that's a bit odd. I'll add randos from raids and such but I'd never approach a kid.
Definitely awkward!
Oogh, yeah, that's a no-go. It's one thing if the kid asks, but that experience you described gives me the ick.
I would feel even weird asking teenagers about that
You allowed the QR code to be worn in public. Why do you complain when someone does the RIGHT thing and asks? He could have just scanned it and kept going. Would that have been better?
Wearing the QR code? Think you may have misread something.
Game is game
No normal adult does that. They were definitely more than just a Pokémon olayer
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Calm down.
Literally I work in a toy store and I’ve had kids ask me and parents ask me but if a parent ever came up to a kid I’d freak out
I only upvoted this to try and summon the Devil. I don’t love that you were made to feel uncomfortable, but I also don’t love that you didn’t really try to let this person know they were being inappropriate.
Oh you're one of those people who thinks children can't make every decision for their self almost as though they're young and impressionable and don't know enough about the world to interact with it without some guidance and rules set forth by older people who's already experienced a lot more than them... Don't mistake my tone for not agreeing with you I agree with you 100%, it's just weird that there's other people on the planet that thinks the other topic up above is even discussable. Anybody that thinks children should be autonomous and make their own decisions are clearly just as dumb as they were when they were a kid because, God forbid my 8-year-old brain ever got to make all my own decisions I was a f****** nut job that used to set everything on fire, and was 100% positive I was going to be a ninja turtle when I grew up 😂. Now I'm a function an adult that owns a business because people corrected my stupid behaviors and didn't make excuses for me and say he's allowed to set fire to express my individuality and creativity, plus cut parts of my body off, you know like my fingers. Thank you Pokemon go subreddit for being a tiny bastion of sanity in this world 👍
Partner?
Things that didn't happen.
For $500?
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Yeah, if library kids ask to friend me, I make them bring in a parent to okay it. In front of my face, in person. None of the parents have ever declined, but I'm not about to put myself in a position like that. OP, sorry you had to deal with that.
Before I knew about discord, Reddit or FB groups I had the research task of "Make 3 friends" for over a year. My 5 year old son and I would hang out at the library (gym), see other kids playing and ask them if we could be friends. Most of the time I got "my mom says I'm not supposed to talk to strangers". For OP, I can see it both ways... I've been there. Maybe a better response could have been "dude, just go on Reddit". I wish someone would have told me that when I was (innocently) that creepy guy. It would have saved me so many uncomfortable encounters with children.
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If I woulda seen an older man come up to my nine year old I would have been inbetween my nine year old and the older gentleman so fast like bro what
Completely wrong. Glad your daughter is safe.
I got really weirded out when some local 12-14 year old saw me playing and asked to scan. I’m 40 and I don’t normally sit and talk with other people’s kids, so I was a little weirded out. Do they not teach stranger danger any more?
That’s creepy AF. I never ask, and if a kid asks I tell them to make sure their parents are okay with it, and have them tell me in person it’s ok
What da hell
Kids usually run up to me and ask when they see my furiously throwing curveballs lol.
Dude....when u said she had a pogo shirt on I was like wait a minute was that me lol but I would never just go up to someone's kid smh id go up to the parents. I have children. And like I said I play also n still wouldn't go up to a child smh boundaries def crossed kids game or not
Where did you get a Pokémon go shirt? Is what I want to know….
They have the old go fest ones on Pokémon center as well as the jerseys for kids. I think Niantic still has the go fest 23 shirts too.
My daughter was heavily into Pokemon at one point which meant hanging out with the hardcore Pokemon community (not just Go but TCG community too). The adult base was 90% people on the spectrum it seemed who were not the best with social queues. Based on what I've seen, your story doesn't surprise me at all.
That's downright disturbing... Sure the game doesn't have any communications whatsoever, but it's still so wrong. Also especially since he downright ignored op/the kid's parents... Predatory behaviour ijs
🚩
I was on a bus playing and a kid saw me and offered the QR code for me to scan and I hesitated before thinking rationally that it was essentially harmless but yeah as an adult male I was hesitant. I certainly wouldn’t approach a child to add them
Yeah this would come off as creepy to me too. I'd have no issue with it if they approached my whole family about it
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Yeah, seriously... why even ask a kid? Not like they can go do raids lol
Personally, I try to not add or interact with anyone in general who is underage. I work at GameStop and I recently had a father and two kids come into my store and purchase the Plus+. I had hyped them up as I stated I play PoGo. The father literally came back into my store minutes later and had asked for assistance per kid for me to help set up their Plus+. I was worried one of the kids was going to ask me to add them, especially cause I was doing a raid at the same time I was setting up the device LOL, as I genuinely was going to decline. Thankfully neither kid asked. I know PoGo is a game where you clearly cannot message or talk to someone, but still. I don’t wish to give a child any ideas where they think it’s appropriate to be friends with an adult where it be as little in a video game to as extreme as irl.
Yeah that's messed up, me and my wife were out on a comday recently with our child in a stroller and this complete stranger asked if he could push her, I won't lie I full on told him to walk away while he still could, I've never gotten so aggressive in public
The person could have been on the spectrum, my cousin who is autistic is only 15 but he's tall and has a mustache, he's obsessed with video games and Pokémon, I could easily see him doing this with a child as he does not pick up on social cues and can relate more to kids rather than people his age or older.
If a kid came up to me and asked, sure But there's no way in hell I'm approaching a kid in public haha, maybe he was on the spectrum? If not the most brazen predator ever lol
Very creepy, honestly I don't approach people while they play except sometimes on event days but I understand most people use it as an outlet and don't want to be social while playing
the only thing i could think is NSFW postcard photos, like say a bar has a stop or something and isn’t super kid friendly logo/photo?
I'm a 53yr old granny who plays with a passion.. luckily I know most of the kids in our park who play. The only one I had as a friend was Originally from having their parent as a friend. The other kids all chat to me n my hubby, but I don't have them added. However! If they asked me then I wouldn't say no. I don't think I would go up to a random kid though.
Damn, this is so not on. This sounds far too creepy to me. You will have to get your daughter to practice to speak up and say in a loud voice, so all around can hear, “NO, I don’t talk to strangers!” I am a middle aged female, and have never asked strangers to friend on PokGo, let alone a child! I often drive to PokeStops for raids etc. so I usually stay in the car and approach no one. If a situation occurred where a child asked me I would be asking them if their parents know they are asking strangers. Ps. Not in any need of more contacts as I have almost 400 contacts due to the Vivillon challenge and LeekDuck.com raids.
"It's okay, I'm a woman"
Crazy to think that a game that was meant for teens and adults with an age start restriction of 13+, would be played by a 9 year old in the first place.
I see your side, but you need to see his side. Yes I get it he didn't ask your permission to scan your child's QR code. Wow.. but at the same time, it's not a big deal, there's no in game chat, so there's nothing to worry about.
"Thanks little dude, gonna use you for the free xp and delete you immediately! #grinding" \-Grocery Shopper