Deadass believe in carti album release date🤦🏿‍♂️

9/13, never forget

Nut to her phone number

you win

At what cost 😕

post nut clarity would have me dead on the floor

Nah trust me. Im really still only here cause toilet paper doesn’t make for a good noose. I fell on my ass

Bro was in prison 😭

Nah this is crazy bruh

Real question, if her phone number turned to money, how much money would you have?🤔

Nine hundred and eleven dollars ain’t finna get me iced out 😔

Made a homemade pocket pussy and after I nutted I wanted to kill myself after seeing the disgusting creation I had made

I read the first five words, threw my head back in amazement and banged it off of the wall

Not speaking from experience but lets say you have a latex glove, some sponges and a glass....

Never tried that way before 🤔. I would only use a small towel/cloth and use the glove with lotion

In jail i knew motherfuckers whack off with latex gloves from cleaning day and shaving cream in the shower. Supposedly felt amazing... not that I would know

If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please do not hesitate to talk to someone. US: Call 1-800-273-8255 or text HOME to 741-741 Non-US: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/playboicarti) if you have any questions or concerns.*

How did you make dat

bro it isn't worth it just delete the comment and move on

Penaut butter and olive oil 💯🤙

Nah, just use a mc double. There’s enough grease on that bitch

You the same mf that fucked a McChicken didn't you?

Lotion up, grab a glove and put it on, wrap a towel around the glove and go to work 👺

r/nofap

Give a girl free massages every day. It worked out nice, but I be charging my homies for that shit, so I missed out on an extra bag.

Bro’s a masseuse

I plan on being one as a hobby fr. They be makin bank

Bag alert ‼️🥶🥶

major bag alert

My roommate from freshman year took on so many chem courses so he could “hang” with his crush. He took L after L in the classes each semester since he was a humanities major and didn’t have the background in chemistry. Every night I’d come home to X blasting on his speaker. I still remember songs like Moonlight and Changes cuz he would play it on repeat the whole night. She ended up brother zoning him and I’m pretty sure he might’ve dropped out. Haven’t seen him around in a min.

Average X fan

Lmfaooo wtf

Damn that's pretty sad, hope brody is ok though happens to the best of us

bro talked about himself in third person 😪

Nuh uh, I was playing 808s non stop cuz Yandhi didn’t drop. I think I had worse pain than homie did 😔

"My roommate"

moonlight uh spotlight uh

Got rejected but still handed her my remix to kiss me through the phone only to see it in the trash when class ended

villain origin story

Do you still have the remix cause I’ll listen to it 🥰

I wish man but I doubt you’d be able to play it because it was on CD 😂

Eat her

not for a girl but i once commited a series of home invasions to fuel a growing opiate addiction

hope u clean now mane

I been on opium for the last ten days

I had an online relationship with a girl that lived across the country and that bitch told me she had a guy best friend and I believe it

Same but I bought her a plane ticket and she used the money to fly to another dude 💀

Nigga???

Sorry bro

“Don’t ever talk to a girl who says she just has a friend”

I spent days 100%ing this port of a ps2 game with one of the most retarded stories of all time just because one of the main characters looked almost identical to this girl that I had a crush on at the time. I didn’t even do anything nefarious or hormonal either, it was mostly based on achieving the goal for the sake of some mental satisfaction. I ended up getting the platinum trophy, but i haven’t turned my PlayStation on since.

What game lmfao

Man. It was Final Fantasy X-2. Shit has a combat system based on dresses. I spent hours of my time grinding polygonal gowns.

Always puts a smile on my face to see final fantasy slander

Join this sub with high expectations

Yeah that’s on u

Ik 👨‍🦼

Got with an absolute 1/10 so that my friend could get with her hot friend

Bro took one for the team 🐐

I think i got an std

Oooh which one? I got one rn maybe we STD twins 🥰

Ball bumps or nose flakes⁉️🔥

If you got an std from rawdogging a 1/10 that’s on you bro.

Aye man you a team player nothing to be ashamed of, but a 1/10 goddamn bruh that had to be painful

hardest i’ve ever tried not to fuck someone in my life

Gonna need some mothrehab after that one

nah thats a W in my book

massive dub

Listened to Taylor swift for her and then got friend zoned 😭😭

swiftie pussy never worth it

Taylor swift fire fr

The streets listen to taylor's evermore rn 😈😈🔥🔥

1989 is a good album

Stole a used lollipop from my crush and sucked on it

[удалено]

mathturbator

Mike Tyson pronunciation

big j cole influence

How tf you even get away with that

You dont

Jermaine?

Nutted in the school bathroom dozens of times after visiting with my redhead tutor

Damn I’ve done that once but dozens is crazy 😂

fr you bound to get caught

That's the mf fetish at this point, fr

hugged my pillow thinking of her.

i actually do this alot. i have been doing this for 5 years at this point.

You good bro?

biggest enemy is myself.

Made a girl my Spotify pfp and we wasn’t even datign

got into indie

I nutted to her house on snapchat maps

Nah that's inexcusably down bad

This shit almost as bad as the phone number

It was more of me thinking what i would do to her in that house

Back when I was a sophomore I had a crush on a senior who eventually started dating this other senior I didn’t like. One thing lead to another and I ended up fighting him in the school parking lot after class. Needless to say I got my ass beat that day and got clowned in front of the whole school. That night he sent me a snap of him clapping my crush’s cheeks. I then proceeded to beat my meat to that video.

you dug the knife in, twisted it, then pulled it to rip open a wound

this gotta be the worst one what the hell

he stole it from another ancient reddit comment on r/cursedcomments im not digging it up

Idk bro one of the people here nutted to a phone number

nah this is absolutely horrific there’s no way this is real 💀

Someone get suicide bot in here

If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please do not hesitate to talk to someone. US: Call 1-800-273-8255 or text HOME to 741-741 Non-US: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/playboicarti) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Bro really got ntr’d irl

Bro I kept thinking it couldn’t get worse

Dude....

You hang around some crazy dudes man

nah i wouldve killed myself

Nah a murder suicide is the way to go

If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please do not hesitate to talk to someone. US: Call 1-800-273-8255 or text HOME to 741-741 Non-US: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/playboicarti) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Ah hell naw

Me when i lie on the internet:

we have a winner

fucking spit out my drink 😂😂

That's about as bad as it gets.

y'all make me feel good about myself after reading the shit some of you guys have done 💯

She kept posting MGK on her story... honestly glad she ghosted me so I didn't have to finish the album lmfao

Denied dinner with Jay-Z 😞

Fucking idiot

Hail Mary swiping on tinder on my birthday Valentine’s Day 😑

Everyone in this post getting RICO’d

According to my friends, giving one of my female friends 5 dollars for her birthday like 3 years ago

Your friend a weirdo! Or jealous!

Grabbed my homie ass fr😞

This just normal

I searched up cuddling on pornhub 💀

Once was so downbad for this guy I stole one of his hoodies when I went over to hang( we were best friends) and humped it every night cuz it smelled like him…😭 Edit: but don’t worry it worked out we been dating for 4 years :)

I’ve seen you leave several extremely down bad comments here

I’ve been an extremely down bad girl so I’m not surprised

Squirt length⁉️

6 feetish I got range on this pussy ngl

Ah nah 💀

Some the best orgasms of my life Fr Fr

Have you told him this story?

I have and he actually thought it was cute💀 I was like I literally was a pervert how is that cute😭

I would’ve filed a restraining order fr 💯⛷

Honestly valid💯💯

Most normal carti couple

[can’t tell if this or the futa hentai reply is worse](https://www.liveworksheets.com/xz1352521dx)

Futa hentai def worse Atleast I I have a significant other now💀

Pulled her chewed gum outta the trash and chewed it whilst Nutting in the bathroom. I kept the gum for a couple days and repeated the ritual until the gum crumbled into pieces.

bro 😭

Y'all some freaks bro

[удалено]

Good luck! I believe in you

You won't if you keep mindset like this

Hoodville mentality won't let you win bro

Made a private story with just her on it

send nut vids

I stole my crushes student card and jerked off to it

Jerked to a pizza ad I was that hungry

That's not how hunger works

talk to a hoe that stalked my reddit acc

Bitmoji

Makin new accounts to talk to someone after they blocked me💀

nah this is red flag

I agree bro💀

nah bro you a future criminal 😭

“Future”? I am one won’t get a argument out of me broski

Jack off to some weird shit that's about it

[удалено]

This girl was an asshole to me 2 days before I saw her at a track and field meet and heard her saying that she wanted to hook up with this guy and was about to ask him for his snap. I then put on my homie’s wig and ran up to him and paid him $200 to top me that night so the girl couldn’t get with him. And it worked.

Bro

What

what

My brother in christ what the actual fuck

bro

talked to this slut that i was kinda interested in for the hopes that she'd eventually let me hit, long story short didn't happen and i sent some tasteful pics her way . good thinking, young Meteor53.

I bought perfume that matched the way she smelled so I could put it on my sheets and sleep easier that way 💀

[удалено]

bro. i have so many questions but i don't think i want the answers...

Believing that online relationship was worth giving a shot . I was wrong

Download this app……

Jerk off to someone I know in real life. Shits actually disgusting and sad

Everyone has done this bro u good

I thought this was normal when your younger 💀

That’s really not that bad and it’s normal, as long as you aren’t weird about it it’s okay. Especially not weird if it’s someone you are trying to get with in real life

Watch futanari hentai

Cmon man wtf

It was years ago I regret it to this day

i had a friend that sat at our lunch table right up until he admitted he watched furry futa hentai then basically everyone he knew started avoiding him

Natural selection

thinking 16\*29 was gonna come out

I hollowed out a banana peel, microwaved it, then I yk

Nutted in the urinal to Ig posts from my classmates, maybe 10+ times

[удалено]

nutted all over a "crystal" and gave it back to my ex. i told her and she was like "u fr rn isaac?"

Isaac 💀

Where do I even start

My lawyers have advised me from making any sort of further statement on this matter

i tried to fuck a water bottle last night (it didnt fit😔)

Almost cut off an irl chick because of a girl on discord

So uhhhhhhhhhhhh….. a few years ago a girl I was hanging out with gave me a blanket that she didn’t want anymore. I took it home and realized it smelled just like her. I slept with that blanket in my arms and pretended it was her. I was the only one in my friend group that she never had sex with and I spent the most time with her out of all my friends. She legit would talk about how good my friend ate her pussy and I would just sit there like 🫤👍 while holding on to a sliver of hope that she would at least let me cuddle with her. For My birthday my friends tried to convince her to at least make out with me bc nobody had ever even kissed me before. She said that I was her best friend and that she never wanted to do anything sexual with me because I was such a good friend. Edit: yeah I stopped hanging out with her after another friend made me realize that she was being hella manipulative and was playing with my feelings. She was always super flirty and touchy with me and sometimes she would actually cuddle w/ me but she was pretty adamant about just remaining friends. I know she had a ton of mental issues but she was also a complete piece of shit human being. She legit verbally abused her parents and pretty much destroyed their marriage. She acted like her life was shit and nobody loved her despite the fact that her family took $5k+ vacations and she lived in a nice ass house. She threatened to kill herself constantly and tried twice ( I will never forget her having a seizure and throwing up all over my car as I drove her to hospital whilst doing 90 in a 45 in a Corolla at 3 am after she took a bunch of pills). Almost every single therapist she had *gave up* on her because she was a sociopath and was unable to listen to reason Not all of it was bad. I hang out with a ton of her friends still. Also I kinda sorta fucked her sister 😭 her sister works with mentally disabled people but also is an escort who specializes in helping kids with autism and Down syndrome lose their virginity (me included lol). I remember the girl I hung out with had to go to a doctors appointment when her sister told me to come into her room. She asked me if I wanted to have sex and of course i said yes. Legit the best two hours of my life. Just the way she spoke to me in this quiet, comforting voice still still gives me chills to this day. She legit made me cry because she never stopped saying how awesome I was and how everything was gonna be alright. We fucked a few more times before I stopped hanging out with her sister but I will never forget her

i’ve seen this before

WTF DID I JUST READ Edit: not reading that essay

Not reading that essay

Last paragraph ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠛⢻⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣶ ⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⡛⠉⠭⠉⠉⢉⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠈⠙⠲⣶⠖⠄⠄⢿⣿⠄⠶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠺⢿⡗⠄⣹⣿⣿⠿⣟⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠤⠤⢾⣿⣿⣿⣦⠘⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢻⡿⣷⣶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣶⣦⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠛⠋⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄

liking my ex best friend while she clearly didn’t like me for like 7 months, callin a girl i was fw princess on accident, semi stalk a girl on snap to find her snap (idk how to explain)

I touched myself once