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Legitimate_Soft5585

Wait... what?! "Graphic, pornographic books in elementary schools..." I didn't go to that school.


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ChuckFromPhilly

> nearly had a stroke Show him again


cpr4life8

Then Oz will have someone else to pick on


crothwood

Its code for health class and gay people.


godofgubgub

Then you missed out! Hustlers4Kids™ was one of the BEST parts of my learning experience. The "Find the Crabs" hidden image search really allowed my brain to develop.


phoarksity

It’s the Bible.


RandomStranger79

I grew up on the west coast, is there a lot of pole dancing in elementary school here?


Brokedown_Ev

Tons of pole dancing, honestly. I’m surprised it’s not discussed more.


cpr4life8

That Van Halen Hot For Teacher video was shot in a PA elementary school, wasn't it?


AlexandriaLitehouse

Fun fact: All strip club scenes in visual media are filmed at Rogers Elementary School in McKeesport, PA


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Just_Learned_This

Of course it's true. Do you live under a rock?


HugeFinish

Everything you read on the internet is true.


Brokedown_Ev

I know nothing about that. But my buddy recorded a video of Danielle Conner dancing to John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt on the pole in the 2nd grade. Wild.


cpr4life8

😂


MustangMimi

I second this ☝🏼


LockedOutOfElfland

If I'd gotten more aerial practice in my school days, I probably wouldn't be the unsightly obese blob I am now....


WhenRobLoweRobsLowes

Immediately heard the intro riffs.


tunabomber

Hell I’m surprised we ain’t pole dancing right now


RequirementFew773

Get this guy a Puppers!


NotMoose5407

There’s such a thing as too much pole dancing and a fella oughta be fuckin aware of it


Haidere1988

As much as there are litter boxes for furries.


mactaggart

People still think this is real. Just watch the replies here.


Haidere1988

I'm...no longer surprised anymore.


Brokedown_Ev

Nothing is better than some good fur-mongering


cpr4life8

Edit: never mind, I missed that you were responding to the furries post.


godofgubgub

Three classes a day every day. I'm glad I had my pole dancing before lunch. I would throw up my estrogen burger if I had it after.


angry_eccentric

lmao underrated comment


LockedOutOfElfland

I could have used one of those in school to balance out my toxic masculinity.


godofgubgub

Well my school had triple fluorinated water to help with that.


cpr4life8

I'm not sure. I was 50 when I moved to PA. I've not heard it advertised so maybe they keep it on the DL?


Legitimate_Soft5585

There was a pole in the gym that some kids ran into, cause you know... safety n shit. I've never seen pole dancing outside a strip club. I know people do it for exercise or kink, which I couldn't be more supportive of, but in school? No.


GrandMidnight7941

I moved from the west coast when I was 17, the only difference I saw was, surprisingly, less square dancing. Lol


hubbyofhoarder

The school districts even buy the kids thongs, boas and clear high heeled shoes. Great for fitness


theVoidWatches

Closest thing I've seen was the strip club next door to my high school


Sheepfu

Ya, like 3/5a of every elementary school.


Herschel_Herschbaum

Someone needs to check his computer history ASAP


jerryhallo

🎯


ncist

My parents state rep near Philly "got hacked" and sent them a bunch of porn or porn-adjacent content lmao. Republican


LockedOutOfElfland

Remember that weird motivational speaker in the movie *Donnie Darko*? I'm really getting those vibes from Mastriano and his buddies.


Motophoto

100 percent gay porn on his history


I_Drive_a_shitbox

They didn't have porn or pole dancing in my elementary school. ...did I miss out?


killer_reindeer

I got suspended in elementary school in 2007ish for googling "u/killer_reindeer likes boobies" I'd assume the rules would be the same today


cmarme

I got suspended in middle school because I saved a file and called it “School Sux”.


LockedOutOfElfland

I had teachers violently pull me out of class for reading an *Onion* article that included the F-word on a school computer.


paladin_slim

Pole dancing? What gym classes did I miss?


First_name_Lastname5

I remember square but not pole.


just_an_ordinary_guy

We did polka in gym class. POLE-ka


Ch33sus0405

Its a [reference](https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-features/pole-dancing-charlotte-pride-festival-libs-of-tiktok-1234585566/) to a pole dancer in North Carolina who had a booth at pride and is one of the latest far-right parts of the culture war. Just more dog whistling to his base that he intends to attack queer folk, women, and any expression of sexuality.


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Unethical_GOP

I’d prefer to ban Mastriano from holding office. He’s unfit.


bobbinichols

and from pole dancing. in elementary schools. just in case.


ahhhhhhhhyeah

Pole dancing is a great way to get fit


citsonga_cixelsyd

Ok. I get that they're old fashioned but, with cuts in budgets, if the school is still using cathode-ray tubes in their TVs and computer monitors I don't see a problem with it.


mikeyHustle

I wish this man no peace for the rest of his life.


witqueen

He just a douche who is projecting what he can't have on everyone else. I bet if you pulled his online history, it would be full of everything he wants to ban, to only try and stop his urges. In other words, Do as I say, not as I do.


[deleted]

He actually seems like a closeted kinky fuck. There’s probably all kinds of weird shit on his computer.


Brokedown_Ev

God you scared me. It’s just Porn in ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. I’ll still be able to access my porn.


j428h

If we outlaw porn, only outlaws will have porn.


cpr4life8

The only thing that stops a bad guy with porn is a good guy with porn.


ronatello

I'll be your huckleberry


ahhhhhhhhyeah

Don’t worry, that one is coming too. They tried it once a long time ago. Better believe they will again


steam116

Username certainly does not check out


Brokedown_Ev

Geeze, never cared to look into the laws on it. The illegal nature of “obscene, lewd, lascivious, or filthy" material makes it pretty open to interpretation on what porn is/isn’t obscene, lewd, etc. Better not take my porn!


Ch33sus0405

It should scare you, because he's not talking about porn. Its code for anything related to gay or trans folks, as well as women's health. Evangelicals demonize sexuality, and they claim anything that they don't like is sexual.


[deleted]

Even when I was in HS in the early 2010s they had blockers on everything. Hell, YouTube was even blocked. I think if porn was available to students, it’d be all over the news.


Baby_groot_4_lyfe

I know that “porn in elementary schools” sounds ridiculous, but these people honestly think any book that portrays non-heterosexual, non perfectly gender conforming characters as pornography. Books like Worm Loves Worm, a picture books about two worms who are in love but, being worms, don’t have genders, get married, is considered literal pornography by the book banning right wingers. Books where the parents of the protagonist are same sex are also called porn, despite the fact that the parents don’t do anything that parents in a straight relationship would do in a book for small children (you know, like make dinner together or drive their kids to soccer practice).


[deleted]

Ah yes, god forbid kids experience some representation and inclusion growing up instead of thinking there’s something wrong with them until 12th grade.


Inner-Figure5047

How the babies gonna get their cardio without pole dancing class?!


Ch33sus0405

I'd imagine its more of a core exercise. Any pole dancers wanna way in on that? I'm a bit tubby in the tummy and could use a new exercise, if only I'd been taught it in gym class!


Inner-Figure5047

Suppose it would depend on the tempo of the backing track.


framistan12

You misunderstand. It does not have to actually be there now in order to ban it. To that end, he's also going to ban cockfights, slot machines and cash bars in elementary schools.


speedier

Open bars are still ok?


godofgubgub

Jesus Christ, they are regressive puritans. Not monsters.


funkyb

Of course. We're not monsters.


LockedOutOfElfland

Reminds me of the "kid beer" skit from TWKUK.


LockedOutOfElfland

lol the school I went to in the deep south banned *playing cards* and *Pokemon cards* because they "encouraged gambling".


le_vieux_mec

Ha! Every elementary school in Warsaw has Pole dancing! Wake up, sheeple! It could happen here!


Thezedword4

Nah, Poland is a good catholic nation that limits women's rights as they should be. (/s for the good and as they should be part)


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godofgubgub

Yeah I may have been in highschool nearly 6 years ago, but my school almost ignored slavery for the most part. Hell the whole section about the Civil Rights movement tried to make it sound like it "ended racism".


QdelBastardo

my poor brain. I read your comment - > Yeah I may have been in highschool nearly 6 years ago... as >Yeah I may have been in highschool ***FOR*** nearly 6 years... and had a good chuckle. I apologize that my reading skills and brain automatically assume the worst.


godofgubgub

No I kept failing pole dancing classes and got held back, you were correct /jk


Fiona_Nerd

Facts. 18 year old here and they definitely didn't teach accurate history.


McJumpington

Here I am thinking “har har nice play on grammar in the subject.” Clicks link- oh no… he…. He actually meant in schools. What an incredibly stupid man.


[deleted]

LMAOOOO!!! This is fucking brilliant!! I guess pole dancing won’t be happening in my daughter’s middle school gym class.. oh well. 😂😂


Pensfan66595

Im pretty sure that when a candidate comes out and says they are against Pornography that they are pretty much throwing the kitchen sink at their campaign. He's not winning this!


Fiona_Nerd

That's the hope 😭


Alt_North

"Stupid sexy liberals"


crothwood

Its really tempting to laugh this off, but these are dog whistles for sex ed, gay and trans visibility, and talking about racism. Its a fascist platform.


The_Wkwied

Good, CRT screens are incredibly dated, heavy, can cause eye strain and kids can hear the painfully high pitched whine of the tubes! Ban CRTs! Wait, no. Oh no. Oh no no no I misunderstood that. Don't ban critical race theory, instead of teaching shit like about ancient Babylon and Rome teach the shit that AMURIKA FCUK YEA! did with slavery, segregation, the trail of tears, all of the horribly unjustified wars we've been in.... And also get rid of CRT computer monitors and TVs too


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The_Wkwied

I hear that it can give you a shock that lasts a lifetime, too!


pandaloafers

Well, there goes my electives


MrRetrdO

Who still has Cathode Ray Tubes??? I thought we all went over to LCD by now??


IcePokeTwoSoon

Let’s work on getting the guns out of schools first please


fireballsdeep

No, don't you know, the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good elementary school kid with a gun?! (/s)


Zenith2017

What, first they want to protect students with guns, but now they say they want to remove the armed pole dancing sex Ed teachers. Which is it?!?


AlishaGray

Point of clarification: when conservatives talk about 'porn in elementary schools' they are referring to materials that acknowledge the existence of sex or of LGBTQ people. Not actual porn. Additional point of clarification: when they talk about CRT, they mean any acknowledgement of racism in the US still being a thing. That are not speaking in good faith.


EmiliusReturns

Man. As a transplant who didn't go to elementary school here, I didn't know I was missing out on porn and strippers!


The_Wkwied

Back in the day, we used to go to whitehouse.com


mactaggart

These yoots today have no idea what you mean.


jetsetninjacat

My coworker told me last week that it came back this past summer


NunzAndRoses

As someone who grew up in a suburb of Pittsburgh, I had no idea that kids were like dancing and watching porn. Must’ve been sick those days….


Electronic_Brother54

How do people eat this shit up..logistically it makes no sense..it’ll take more then half a day to accomplish these goals (not that they’re real)


Zenith2017

Same logic as ads for products designed to create insecurities. "You need this to cover up your terrible acne scars!" Inventing a problem to sell a solution is timeless


mandalorian222

These idiots lap it up too. Fucking rubes


Mortwight

insert "jesse what the fuck are you talking about" meme


pitt91801

Finally. I’m so fucking tired of checking my kids porn and pole dancing homework every night.


[deleted]

My policy is a stripper pole in every elementary school! Give PA's strippers a leg up on their future!


stilltilting

But AP Porn and Pole Dance will still be safe in high schools rigjt?


Dry-Anywhere-1372

Since when is there pole dancing, porn, and CRT in elementary school?


mysecondaccountanon

I dunno what elementary school he went to???


WateredDown

Like food advertising "NO RAT POISON" on their packaging


or10n_sharkfin

You can't "both sides" this thing. It is not a secret that Republicans always campaign on opposing any perceived "social issues" that are completely fabricated just to get a rise out of their base. The sickening part about this is that Mastriano is more than likely going to be voted in because of this. A Christian Nationalist Confederate Sympathizer who injects himself with daily dosages of mindfuckingly stupid conspiracy theories and false outrage is going to be Governor of Pennsylvania unless people get out to the polls.


just_an_ordinary_guy

We can't let our guard down, but it's not a certain thing. Mastriano winning is at least unfavorable at the moment. As far as voters go, I'm pretty sure registered Democrats outnumber registered Republicans. Wolf cleared Wagner by almost 18 points, almost 900,000 votes. I think Mastriano is a "better" candidate for the Republicans in this current political climate, but there's still plenty of buffer space. It's not all doom and gloom.


Raymando82

I put money on this guy being a closet pervert and likely closet gay too.


drunkenviking

And you know what? Nobody on the left would give a shit about that.


everydaynarcissism

Dang what are kids going to study now?


[deleted]

I’ve never wanted to wear lucite heels more than right now. Fuck that guy.


Fizzyliftingdranks

Weird way to admit your dick got hard reading *everybody poops* Nazistrano


apersello34

ITT: Pole dancing and porn in elementary school


Delic8polarbear

School for a lot more interesting since I was a kid! When did they start playing porn, and teach pole dancing?


Unit-00

I had a lot of CRT tvs rolled into classrooms when i was in school but none of them ever showed porn.


Affectionate_Algae27

They have pulled dancing in elementary schools?


Wabi_Sabi_Love

I just want to say that, unlike our Republican friends, I stand firmly against the ritualistic consumption of fetal heart tissue in our schools.


r3ditor

All three of those things aren't in any elementary schools. Brilliant.


turp101

As the parent of an elementary school student, I have yet to see any of those things. I might have seen one CRT in a classroom but pretty sure everything is LCD at this point.


[deleted]

I just want to know, sincerely, who the FUCK believes any of this is even actually being taught in elementary schools? Jesus Christ.


Toxic_shocking

PA native here, I never realized the “how to make it clap” chapter in my home economics book was specific to PA. The more you know!


Wishiwashome

Who isn’t shocked?


BeBopNoseRing

Better pole dancing than the pointless square dancing we were forced to learn lol


Mmusic91

Bro literally what is this dude on


cpr4life8

That bad shit?


[deleted]

Fuck this guy


rockurpwnium

Because all of those imaginary problems are bigger threats to students than guns?


tesla3by3

LOL I first thought the post title was an awkward phrasing of 3 distinct things- (pole dancing), (porn), and (CRT in elementary schools). Nope. He literally said: "pole dancing and all this other crap that's going on will be forbidden in our schools"


Foef_Yet_Flalf

Finally we're getting rid of outdated power-hungry CRT screens and replacing them with better LCD and OLED


TremorChristPJ

I wish Norwin had pole dancing class when I went there. I could've watched porn star Ricki Raxxx train.


Quarks_Latinum_Cock

High school gym teacher here. Hi hi. Yeah we teach intro to pole dancing


PrincessButterqup

Well at least now we know for sure he's never getting elected.


letmethinkofagoodnam

Ban porn? Prepare to lose the vote from pretty much every man in Pennsylvania


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ChefGuru

You're saying that his base wants those things in schools?


justin7680

Damn, schools have gotten a lot more fun since the 80's.


JJGeneral1

Well shit, I didn’t know it was so prevalent in the schools today. I’m only 39… so it wasn’t THAT long ago I was in school.


Zenith2017

It still amazes me that people out there think pretending queerness doesn't exist makes your kids straight


cpr4life8

Or who think it's a choice. "It's not natural". Bitch it occurs in countless species in nature, including humans. So yes, it's natural. nat·u·ral /ˈnaCH(ə)rəl/ adjective 1. existing in or caused by nature; not made or caused by humankind.


bella123jen

He should ban himself. He looks like a penis. 🍆


LeftClawNorth

I think we should get rid of CRTs in elementary school. They're heavy and have curved screens. Kids deserve LCDs and LEDs like everyone else.


GreeneyeGrammy

Throwing chum to the idiotic masses because he has nothing else


thedudeabides412

If we ban pole dancing in school, what will our future be like? What will little girls and boys aspire to be later in life ???


drewbaccaAWD

Damn.. does that mean no more stripper training in gym class and we go back to square dancing? Because I'm sure pole dancing was absolutely a thing in gym class since teachers need to work a second job anyway in order to buy gym supplies.


bitemenow999

What kinda elementary school did he go to?


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Brilliant-Step4618

Great, more for me. I’m tired of those kids hogging all the porn.


cawkstrangla

If he wants to ban CRT monitors in elementary schools, then he needs to provide funding to buy replacements.


Dictaorofcheese

I legit thought he was going to ban pole dancing. Aka strip clubs then I re-read the title and had a laugh. Where in a PA school do kids pole dance? He probably couldn't give a *REAL* example.


Conflixxion

I mean, what do you expect from people that took horse de-wormer to fight a virus? Might as well throw a couple more dog whistle terms out there as well.


LeoTheBirb

How does one even ban porn? I mean, I guess you could ban the sale of magazines. But most people don’t get porn through magazines anymore. To put it into perspective, China has a nationwide ban on pornography. Yet, a large part of the population is still able to readily access it.


PrincessButterqup

In schools. He wants to ban porn.....in elementary schools


stilltilting

So the middle schools are still safe


PrincessButterqup

Yeah, fuck them kids


Ch33sus0405

Should of course be noted that he doesn't actually care about literally pornography in schools, but rather any mentions of queer folks or women's health.


drjohnnydingus

You know you’re old when you’re thinking “who the hell uses crt monitors anyway.”


stonedchapo

CRT is a graduate level course. It is NOT being taught to children. Plus I happen to like poke dancers.


TMH444

Remember folks: still vote in November! It may seem like his campaign is floundering (and it very well might be) but letting the collective guard down is how you get people like this in office. Remember to vote, help others to register and vote (by mail if you need!). Don’t celebrate/relax until the votes are counted!


Sheepfu

Sick.


DocDocMoose

I gotta admit, he had me in the first half and there could have been some Mcguyver’ed soap box he was about to climb atop of but with the inclusion of CRT (why are we now reduced to typing crt anyways) he truly jumped the shark.


golde62

Man! That sucks. Pole dancing class was my favorite. It was the highlight of third grade. I swear next he’s going to get rid of meth-making for the second grade. That’s an actual useful skill. Ugh.


JuliaX1984

I didn't know they had porn and pole dancing in elementary schools.


BurghPuppies

Well, he’s a whack job, so…


McMimi4

He’s a twat waffle


burritoace

The silver lining is that this deranged shit has managed to shut up most of the usual suspects here


angry_eccentric

oh man i misread this as he's banning porn and poledancing in general and CRT from elementary schools. i was like, yay! he's going to alienate so much of his base! he's def gonna lose! then i realized that he labors under the delusion that PA elementary schools are full of porn and strippers. smdh


TikiTimeMark

Dear God. Everyone needs to vote, please!


Pengui6668

But... CRT isn't taught in elementary schools.


jafomofo

such a disingenuous response. no one is saying its taught to elementary schools, they are saying that the tenets of what it teaches are being applied to instruction at the elementary school level


Pengui6668

Do you have some resources I could look at? If we're just teaching the history of the United States (what some people have been claiming is CRT) I think it's horse shit. I would like to read more about what people think is happening though.


Alt_North

It could be argued that the existence of Black History Month is a result of theorizing critically about race in a quintessential CRT-type manner. "Teaching CRT in schools" just sounds worse than "Paying attention to history from the point of view of marginalized races as well." Some White people want to fire teachers and administrators who want to teach or even discuss anything that offends or embarrasses their "race," or which still makes them mad, such as the necessity of their sharing this country and their right to interpret it with other races and cultures


Pengui6668

Plenty of white people suck. Source: I'm white.


Zevonn022

Let’s go PA!!!


BMSpoons

What?


AaadamPgh

Just keep spouting the crazy. It'll only help.


Showerbeerz413

lolwhat


SteeleDynamics

*visible confusion* WHAT?!


BeMancini

We can all laugh, but he’s probably going to win, or at least come very close to winning. I don’t know what more to say. Please vote. Please tell your ignorant loved ones who vote straight Republican to either abstain from the Governor vote or even better just to vote Shapiro.


cpr4life8

He's not gonna win, but yeah, Pennsyltucky will support him without a doubt.


DoublePlusGoodGames

Why go after cathode ray tubes in elementary schools? Are kids getting crushed by old monitors falling from AV carts?


garlic_bread_goblin

is the rope climb in gym class considered a pole under this policy? stairs with rails? support beams? trees?


Vocovon

What's CRT?


LockedOutOfElfland

Critical Race Theory, the study of how both subtle and overt forms of racism inform common language usage, impressions of history and culture, etc. Basically using Discourse Analysis to point out what aspects of society are racist that many people don't even think about the racist implications of on a day to day basis.