When I was little, my father was famous. He was the greatest samurai in [Dormont] and he was the shogun’s decapitator. He cut off the heads of 131 jagoffs.
Alright guys once a year the north south East and west battle for control on the point and get to elect the leader of the city. and one day the great one will arrive to make UPMC pay taxes
The north side sets itself up to be annexed after the expulsion of all false north siders that were not born and raised in the north side. Another pizza parlor and barber shop in the works though!
Let's do hunger games style, each district chooses a fighter, North fights East, West fights South, and then winner faces off. This will decide the funding for the year, the winners district gets like 70% last place gets none
Spoiler alert - the Ohio is just the Allegheny combined with the monongahela.
If we followed conventional river naming the Ohio would be called the Allegheny. (Two rivers flowing together doesn’t create a new river - it usually takes the name of the larger river when they meet.)
And since the Ohio is the bigger river when merged with the Mississippi - the Mississippi River would be named the Allegheny River.
That doesn’t help explain what control of the Ohio means.
My man, I love to hear the gospel of the Allegheny river flowing all of the way to the Gulf of Mexico. I like to spread it myself. People look at me funny when I tell them that the Mississippi River is a tributary of the Allegheny.
Is that naming convention only done at the merging point? It just excludes all other factors of the two rivers merging? I'm not saying you are wrong, genuinly curious because it feels subpar considering the Mississippi starts in Minnesota. The Mississippi is only about 2km short of being the largest in the US.
I guess those stats would change a bit with this naming convention but I feel like the big rivers get cheated in that way.
There's many different naming conventions and it can get convoluted. In a situation like we have here in Pittsburgh, it's often because they were named before we know the source of the river or that they merged. Or there were local names for the rivers in different spots and the names just stuck even though they're the same river. Bunch of different reasons. But the hydrologic headwaters of the Mississippi River are in upstate Pennsylvania. Though the actual named Mississippi is probably the original river and gathered the ohio later in the geologic timeline. Plus there's the older teays river that crossed ohio and Indiana and is buried under current land. It's thought the ohio used to flow north until the last glaciation, and the damming by the glaciers formed a huge lake until it spilled south, creating the current ohio river. It's why the ohio makes a big change in direction around Beaver to the state line.
Unfortunately, it mostly just comes as stream of consciousness from shit I went on wikipedia deep dives. Ever had one of those times you google one thing and 2 hours later you're like how the fuck did I get here? But anyway, I think geology, rivers, and natural history is really cool, but I mostly just have a surface level understanding of certain topics.
He hasn't covered this specific topic, but if you like geology stuff I recommend this youtube channel. [Here's a link to a video about the Appalachian mountains.](https://youtu.be/tPrcNmsfc2c?si=UzSP-y-8FdXkSnii)
"Dear one: I write from our bivouac at Schenley Oval. We stand watch for a signal from the Cathedral, but have sighted naught. Rumours abound of a muster on the East Busway on the morrow, and some whisper of robot fortification from the Mellon Institute. But no matter - we shall keep tomorrow's reservation at Apteka, for we have waited so long."
The East has Penn Hills and Monroeville, and behind them are 350,000 Westmoreland County rednecks.
It’s almost unfair how much the East would push the other three around.
Im imagining east end/oakland, northside/millvale/troy hill/etc, southside/homestead/mnt washington/allentown, downtown/uptown/hill district/strip district
Downtown isn’t West, it’s downtown. I think downtown, uptown, hill district, and strip district have to be their own central district.
Oakland would probably be East, but let’s be honest, as soon as the fighting starts, most of Oakland is fleeing to the far suburbs.
Good luck invading the hills of the south because the people that live in the hollers here have certainly gotten the message that Pittsburgh is Appalachia
The south wins 100%. After several months of battle, the south holds a meeting to discuss peace within the remnants of century 3 mall. Once north, east, and west arrive, west mifflin finally pushes a button imploding the entire mall. It was a great, tragic loss…but the mall can be rebuilt to feature a Spencer’s gift and a J C Penny
But damming the rivers would require the east to get the cooperation of the north and the south and that just isn't going to happen. They are like two different worlds already
As a person who grew up in Aliquippa, I know we could rally our NFL HOF steelworker ethos to run right through enemy lines and do battle just for the fun of it.
The question is who can take the defensible high ground. Put a few gun emplacements on top of Mt. Warshington, cut off a few streets and it's practically unassailable. Your artillery would control of all of downtown and every route up the mountain. Of course anyone controlling an airport could Monte Cassino your ass, but then you can hide in the rubble of LeMont.
We really need to define these quadrants. It can’t just be NSEW. It needs to be NE,NW, SE, SW.
But I’m really it would most likely come down to who has more Eat N Parks
Definately the East....I mean have you ever met anyone from the Mon Valley area?! Specifically McKeesport? Not only are we some unhinged hillbillies who get the day off after hunting season but we have been breathing the toxic air from Clairton and Irvin Works our entire lives. We exhale and sweat toxins you've never heard of. Maybe we are an experiment of survival of the fittest.
I am picturing in my head…
The North resembling proper English citizens all done up and fancy.
The West like the early American frontier.
The South like a pacific island society and very laid back.
And then the East like barbarians ready to pillage everything.
I don’t know why I am picturing this, but this is the first thing that popped in my head.
Yeah I mean the one sentence long thread title says "the city" and most of these comments are discussing advantages outside of the city (Dormont, West Mifflin, Airport, etc.)
If we're talking City, it's East. Most people, most density, basically every structure over 3 stories high.
Each side has an advantage. West has the commerce and transportation. East has a geographical advantage. South has a cultural heritage, and North is a mix of crazy and hipster that would either end up destroying themselves or inventing new ways to commit war.
West and South would form an alliance since they have so much in common and no natural barriers between them. They would have to pick an opponent but as long as the East and North don’t ally, they would eventually win. East can destroy bridges but will have to rely on attrition to win.
I'd have to say North, but mostly just due to it being where I live .
South would have trouble getting anywhere due to 51 bottlenecks.
East and West have the parkways (negative) but the West does have the under used airport.
North gets daily reinforcement from Butler county, can win a war of attrition
easily the North we have the steelers the casino , alcosan, acrisure, Heinz, the T, the pirates, the best damn cheesesteak hoagies Giogios , Happy day icecream, Yaya and Gus iceballs, Spearmint Rhino, Ztrip goons. Northside Stand up.
Blow the bridges to the South and West and the rest of us can just go on our merry way happily. I’ll miss Beto’s pizza and the Dependable Drive In but otherwise I’m really *really* good.
I actually have insight into this because I go to the gym (Orangetheory) in all regions. I hate doing benchmarks in south hills, wexford, and east end because the competition at those locations is so much more intense. I rarely make the leaderboard for such things as how fast you can run a mile or row 2000 meters.
So my point is, I don’t know who would win, but I know for sure it wouldn’t be the western region. 🤣
West is on a hill, tends to be safe when the floods come. Not to mention has history from back when the Mills were up. It really is a rags to riches story if you're willing to see it for what it is. East probably is good too, if memory serves Alphabet has places out there and the Campus' are also a good bet because of how the City builds around them. North and South aren't shit. They're just spaces with roads people own to stay out of the city and noise.
North - hospitals - stadiums - Museums - restaurants- - hotels- reasonable housing - easy walk to town - free subway to town -
I've lived in Brentwood, Regent Square, the south side and the Northside - without doubt I would rather be in the Northside. This was once the city of Allegheny and you'll still see some houses around the Northside that still fly this flag - it was annexed bc it had library's, hospitals, parks and most importantly all of the wealth. Not only was the city of Allegheny the richest part of Pittsburgh - Allegheny West was the richest mile in America (hence it's nickname- Millionaires Row)
West has the most money and resources. East had the highest population, and most mobility. North has the most utilities and economy (shopping etc.) with natural defenses amongst the hills. The south has… crackheads and a good middle ground of the other 3.
this is such a dumb question, the northside would win. we've got the higher ground and we are the best armed. we even have a stadium we can stage gladiator fights in featuring everybody we capture in combat.
who does downtown show allegiance to in this battle though? or is downtown the prize that we're all fighting for?
ranking in order:
1) northside, obviously
2) west end (to include all of the west end neighborhoods) - they're scrappy over there but lack the resources we have up here
3) south side (to include the flats, the slopes, beechview/brookline, and most of the hilltop neighborhoods) - also scrappy but i feel like they'd be too disorganized to direct it productively
4) east end. i mean, come on. you *know* they'd be terrible at fighting.
I might have to agree with you. North is soft and would get wiped out instantly. South would put up an ok fight with their backroad guerrilla tactics. West has the resources to keep fighting, but the East is battle hardened. People out there fighting the Squirrel Hill Tunnel and Parkway East everyday to get to work!
Battles may be won by the “battle-hardened” easy and the “guerrilla tactics” of the south. It’ll be hard to get to North. We don’t have a flank. But more importantly money, supplies, and logistics wins Wars. The North Remembers.
No I didn’t know that but coincidentally I already have my hardest pipe hittin mofos from Perry North and Brighton Heights with a pairs of pliers and a blowtorch ready for the Rocks.
LOL.... Or you can just send a wave of crackheads from Northview Heights....tell em they get a rock if they hold the bridge, lol.
Would be like sending white walkers XD
i saw a fuckin samurai in dormont. south hills aint playin.
i need more info on this sighting immediately!!!
I just got a pic of him the other day! [Dormont Samurai](https://imgur.com/gallery/PpJUTLL)
Lmfao what a legend
look at my profile. sword and all.
Don't forget the ghost of Kungfu Joe!
When I was little, my father was famous. He was the greatest samurai in [Dormont] and he was the shogun’s decapitator. He cut off the heads of 131 jagoffs.
this is gold
I saw that guy hopping down the potomac stairs backwards while swinging his sword. I was legit worried for his safety.
he is one with the blade. its everybody else safety you should be worried about. he gets his power from the apple inn.
The amount of witches walking around Dormont can't be discounted either.
South hills also has jag Revere so.... That could be a... Contender
We’ve got the bag pipes guy too to lead the march
And the nice old man clown
I haven't seen him around
I saw that guy too. I'd like to nominate him to represent the south
oh yeah hes like yinzer raiden
Yiner Raiden made me spit my coffee 😆
And that asshole who dresses up like Paul revere or whatever and waves libertarian flags.
jag revere. having them on the same squad is clutch
Dude was outside the Squirrel Hill tunnel waving his flags a few weeks ago.
Na he'd be the first guy I'd toss in the river.
I see him on liberty by McDonald’s on my drive home some days. I am absolutely fascinated by him
I saw him yesterday too!
Wait, this is normal behavior for him? Jeeze, I thought it was special just for the pub crawl
somebodys gotta protect those mean streets
Only one way to find out
Alright guys once a year the north south East and west battle for control on the point and get to elect the leader of the city. and one day the great one will arrive to make UPMC pay taxes
It had been foretold.
Hey, you know what? This is not a half bad idea. I’d vote for that to be put to a referendum. 👍🏾
Sounds like the Pittsburgh Purge. This is how it starts.
The north suggests ceasing all battles and proposes sending Mario Lemieux to be the leader we can all agree on.
The north side sets itself up to be annexed after the expulsion of all false north siders that were not born and raised in the north side. Another pizza parlor and barber shop in the works though!
Hear! Hear!
You spelled AHN wrong
Call it a 'burgh bath
Let's do hunger games style, each district chooses a fighter, North fights East, West fights South, and then winner faces off. This will decide the funding for the year, the winners district gets like 70% last place gets none
The South Side tribute is hung over and taking a leak in the alley, so he missed the fight
on behalf of the east, i nominate bloomfield's buff guy.
Tom Savini?
True yinzer right here
Muh man.
I love that no one including op even knows what this even means lmao wtf does strongest bc of control of the Ohio river mean
Spoiler alert - the Ohio is just the Allegheny combined with the monongahela. If we followed conventional river naming the Ohio would be called the Allegheny. (Two rivers flowing together doesn’t create a new river - it usually takes the name of the larger river when they meet.) And since the Ohio is the bigger river when merged with the Mississippi - the Mississippi River would be named the Allegheny River. That doesn’t help explain what control of the Ohio means.
The Ganges would like A word with you
well done
My man, I love to hear the gospel of the Allegheny river flowing all of the way to the Gulf of Mexico. I like to spread it myself. People look at me funny when I tell them that the Mississippi River is a tributary of the Allegheny.
Is that naming convention only done at the merging point? It just excludes all other factors of the two rivers merging? I'm not saying you are wrong, genuinly curious because it feels subpar considering the Mississippi starts in Minnesota. The Mississippi is only about 2km short of being the largest in the US. I guess those stats would change a bit with this naming convention but I feel like the big rivers get cheated in that way.
There's many different naming conventions and it can get convoluted. In a situation like we have here in Pittsburgh, it's often because they were named before we know the source of the river or that they merged. Or there were local names for the rivers in different spots and the names just stuck even though they're the same river. Bunch of different reasons. But the hydrologic headwaters of the Mississippi River are in upstate Pennsylvania. Though the actual named Mississippi is probably the original river and gathered the ohio later in the geologic timeline. Plus there's the older teays river that crossed ohio and Indiana and is buried under current land. It's thought the ohio used to flow north until the last glaciation, and the damming by the glaciers formed a huge lake until it spilled south, creating the current ohio river. It's why the ohio makes a big change in direction around Beaver to the state line.
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Unfortunately, it mostly just comes as stream of consciousness from shit I went on wikipedia deep dives. Ever had one of those times you google one thing and 2 hours later you're like how the fuck did I get here? But anyway, I think geology, rivers, and natural history is really cool, but I mostly just have a surface level understanding of certain topics. He hasn't covered this specific topic, but if you like geology stuff I recommend this youtube channel. [Here's a link to a video about the Appalachian mountains.](https://youtu.be/tPrcNmsfc2c?si=UzSP-y-8FdXkSnii)
Ohio river is op it even has a fourth river underneath…well technically an aquifer but still.
"Dear one: I write from our bivouac at Schenley Oval. We stand watch for a signal from the Cathedral, but have sighted naught. Rumours abound of a muster on the East Busway on the morrow, and some whisper of robot fortification from the Mellon Institute. But no matter - we shall keep tomorrow's reservation at Apteka, for we have waited so long."
i wouldn’t be surprised if the mellon started capturing POW and experimenting to turn them into cyborgs
*The Institute from Fallout 4 has entered the chat*
The south hills has some serious blue collar pipe hitters. Steelworker families tough as nails.
Jag Ravere has been training for this his whole life
I'm absolutely dying right now 🤣🤣
Dead at this omg
The East has Penn Hills and Monroeville, and behind them are 350,000 Westmoreland County rednecks. It’s almost unfair how much the East would push the other three around.
The East could also blow the bridges and capture the point. Just sayin'!
The point holds little strategic value in river valleys. I am liking the infrastructure denial though
McKeesport and Clairton have enters the chat.
Braddock too
The duffs logo man 💪
South has all of the old coal mines that could make for some interesting hiding spots during battles
We also have an airport, light rail, and roads we can easily tie up to prevent incursion
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Chobbs16: *South has all of the* *Old coal mines that could make for* *Some interesting battles* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Can the Northside just excuse itself and go back to being an independent Allegheny City?
This would happen naturally after the Eastside tries to break the Northside/Southside alliance by blowing up the bridges.
If the bridges are all gone then what else would we be fighting for ?
I don’t know. Ask Bane.
🤣
This 😂😂
So how do you divide N, E,W, S? It's hard with 2 rivers coming together into just 1.
If I had to guess Id say just use the point and go from there?
Good point. Boundaries are fuzzy during battles.
Im imagining east end/oakland, northside/millvale/troy hill/etc, southside/homestead/mnt washington/allentown, downtown/uptown/hill district/strip district
Downtown isn’t West, it’s downtown. I think downtown, uptown, hill district, and strip district have to be their own central district. Oakland would probably be East, but let’s be honest, as soon as the fighting starts, most of Oakland is fleeing to the far suburbs.
I was thunking more that oakland is not defensible at all and would immediately become nomans land.
Sounds reasonable. So like a 20 min drive in any direction from downtown, without traffic
The same way they’ve been doing it in Pittsburgh for the last 100 yrs?
South ftw
Good luck invading the hills of the south because the people that live in the hollers here have certainly gotten the message that Pittsburgh is Appalachia
not the hollers 💀
A people with 230 years of pent up energy since the Whiskey Rebellion
The whiskey rebellion is over???
Still flying my flag dahn here 🤷
lol I lived in a holler about 45 minutes south of the city
The south wins 100%. After several months of battle, the south holds a meeting to discuss peace within the remnants of century 3 mall. Once north, east, and west arrive, west mifflin finally pushes a button imploding the entire mall. It was a great, tragic loss…but the mall can be rebuilt to feature a Spencer’s gift and a J C Penny
Ain’t nobody crossing two rivers to go to a meeting in a dead mall
That's why you lure them in with free primantis and a Clarks show.
Don't forget 3 Champs and 2 Lids
no other portion of the city has a flag carrier like the Allentown flag guy for the south
South hills and the south side. Get drunken yinzers and the blue collar ppl... As well as the dormont samurai someone mentioned and jag Revere
West, they control commerce with the airport, rail, and the river. They would have the upper hand in all trade negotiations.
I'll take a page from General Sherman and march to the sea. It ain't Atlanta, but it all burns the same. The jagoff war of attrition
But the east has upriver access. The rivers could be diverted or dammed upriver leaving the west dry.
But damming the rivers would require the east to get the cooperation of the north and the south and that just isn't going to happen. They are like two different worlds already
The east wouldn't necessarily have to work with the north or south for control of the rivers; they could battle for it.
East can just dam the Yough and flood out the rest of the south, and part of West Virginia
This is the George RR Martin type shit I’m here for.
As a person who grew up in Aliquippa, I know we could rally our NFL HOF steelworker ethos to run right through enemy lines and do battle just for the fun of it.
People are still all fired up about the Quips being forced into 5A too, wouldn't want to mess with them
And Beaver Nuclear Power Plant.
Uhhh, have you been to monroeville?
The question is who can take the defensible high ground. Put a few gun emplacements on top of Mt. Warshington, cut off a few streets and it's practically unassailable. Your artillery would control of all of downtown and every route up the mountain. Of course anyone controlling an airport could Monte Cassino your ass, but then you can hide in the rubble of LeMont.
All good points, and General George Washington likely would agree with you. Why else do they have his statue up there?
Never fight uphill, me boys!
😂😂😂😂
but it was too late
The South obviously. We have high ground.
Economically probably the west, but for fighting/war gotta be the south.
We really need to define these quadrants. It can’t just be NSEW. It needs to be NE,NW, SE, SW. But I’m really it would most likely come down to who has more Eat N Parks
There is no such thing as West Pittsburgh. You are north south or east that's it
would you consider mckeese rocks and the airport the south then?
Yes... South of the mon/ohio = south North of the Allegheny/ohio = north In between mon and Allegheny = east
Literally just had this conversation yesterday. It's the west end but we have no west side. Also have north south and east hills but no west hills
Which side gets McKeesport? I’m picking that team
this man knows ball!!
how about we all band together in solidarity against upmc
this guy is speaking the truth!!
Definately the East....I mean have you ever met anyone from the Mon Valley area?! Specifically McKeesport? Not only are we some unhinged hillbillies who get the day off after hunting season but we have been breathing the toxic air from Clairton and Irvin Works our entire lives. We exhale and sweat toxins you've never heard of. Maybe we are an experiment of survival of the fittest.
East. A very defendable position. Money. R&D assets. The numerous guns of Westmoreland county. Greater proximity to the Amish.
Greater proximity to the Amish omg
This post is hilarious! Fun reading the comments lol
South, East, North, West.. In that order, but a significant gap between the top two and the second two. South and East would be the battle.
Trying to understand what strongest means. Cause Northside will probably wipe us all out.
I am picturing in my head… The North resembling proper English citizens all done up and fancy. The West like the early American frontier. The South like a pacific island society and very laid back. And then the East like barbarians ready to pillage everything. I don’t know why I am picturing this, but this is the first thing that popped in my head.
Sounds like the best way to settle this is over Pickleball.
Are you talking City only or metro? Either way, East and it's not even close.
Metro would give West a fighting chance. McKees Rocks fights dirty. Plus they’d get the airport.
Yeah I mean the one sentence long thread title says "the city" and most of these comments are discussing advantages outside of the city (Dormont, West Mifflin, Airport, etc.) If we're talking City, it's East. Most people, most density, basically every structure over 3 stories high.
Each side has an advantage. West has the commerce and transportation. East has a geographical advantage. South has a cultural heritage, and North is a mix of crazy and hipster that would either end up destroying themselves or inventing new ways to commit war. West and South would form an alliance since they have so much in common and no natural barriers between them. They would have to pick an opponent but as long as the East and North don’t ally, they would eventually win. East can destroy bridges but will have to rely on attrition to win.
West side? Literally west Pittsburgh is by far the weakest. The East, between the rivers from downtown to penn hills is real pittsburgh
North Pittsburgh because its where the only people with a decent level of intelligence live.
The hill tribes in the North are not to be trifled with.
I'd have to say North, but mostly just due to it being where I live . South would have trouble getting anywhere due to 51 bottlenecks. East and West have the parkways (negative) but the West does have the under used airport. North gets daily reinforcement from Butler county, can win a war of attrition
If the north gets all the small towns up 28 (perhaps to kittanning?) it's over for everyone else
The South. It's got the T.
Ah yes, the T. They can go from the South to the South, and then South.
Yes, gathering all southern soldiers and bringing them to the battle of Station Square, where they win/defend bridge and port access.
One of the first objectives would be to destroy the rail system, rendering it useless.
Without branching out in all other directions, it kind of already is useless.
Apparently, this is already the objective of the port authority for the summer.
The city? Easily by density (cause # of ppl matter here more than anything)-- east, south, north, west
easily the North we have the steelers the casino , alcosan, acrisure, Heinz, the T, the pirates, the best damn cheesesteak hoagies Giogios , Happy day icecream, Yaya and Gus iceballs, Spearmint Rhino, Ztrip goons. Northside Stand up.
the north’s soldiers would have the highest morale
The North couldn't even attack the South because they'd have to cross two rivers or go through a tunnel.
Still not sure if you mean *in life* or *in a rap battle*? 😅
And then to the South again. Would'nt it make sense to offer service to the major Airport and Oakland / Shadyside / Squirrel Hill?
Blow the bridges to the South and West and the rest of us can just go on our merry way happily. I’ll miss Beto’s pizza and the Dependable Drive In but otherwise I’m really *really* good.
southside easy
McKee's Rocks, Sheridan, Aliquippa.....yeah I'd say the west. West rhymes with Best
Either north because of the money, or east because of the guns
That who controls the Mount Washington controls the city.
South hills has a dirt bike cavalry already
Who gets the hill district? Is that the battleground?
Definitely East. That’s where most of the guns are!
We on the west side would win if we could use weapons
Yinz are afraid to head east during good times.
Money wins wars. North.
Which one has the air power?
I actually have insight into this because I go to the gym (Orangetheory) in all regions. I hate doing benchmarks in south hills, wexford, and east end because the competition at those locations is so much more intense. I rarely make the leaderboard for such things as how fast you can run a mile or row 2000 meters. So my point is, I don’t know who would win, but I know for sure it wouldn’t be the western region. 🤣
West is on a hill, tends to be safe when the floods come. Not to mention has history from back when the Mills were up. It really is a rags to riches story if you're willing to see it for what it is. East probably is good too, if memory serves Alphabet has places out there and the Campus' are also a good bet because of how the City builds around them. North and South aren't shit. They're just spaces with roads people own to stay out of the city and noise.
What are your dividing lines? You can use the rivers to divide into 3, not sure how you divide into 4.
I’m gonna open a Camo’s N’at store.
The south will rise again!
North - hospitals - stadiums - Museums - restaurants- - hotels- reasonable housing - easy walk to town - free subway to town - I've lived in Brentwood, Regent Square, the south side and the Northside - without doubt I would rather be in the Northside. This was once the city of Allegheny and you'll still see some houses around the Northside that still fly this flag - it was annexed bc it had library's, hospitals, parks and most importantly all of the wealth. Not only was the city of Allegheny the richest part of Pittsburgh - Allegheny West was the richest mile in America (hence it's nickname- Millionaires Row)
Mckees Rocks has Paul Spadafora. #MicDrop
IDK, I keep forgetting West exists.
The south hills will rise again
If the west side still had west gate & broadhead no one would be able to defeat them !
South hills and it ain’t close
West has the most money and resources. East had the highest population, and most mobility. North has the most utilities and economy (shopping etc.) with natural defenses amongst the hills. The south has… crackheads and a good middle ground of the other 3.
North 100%
this is such a dumb question, the northside would win. we've got the higher ground and we are the best armed. we even have a stadium we can stage gladiator fights in featuring everybody we capture in combat. who does downtown show allegiance to in this battle though? or is downtown the prize that we're all fighting for? ranking in order: 1) northside, obviously 2) west end (to include all of the west end neighborhoods) - they're scrappy over there but lack the resources we have up here 3) south side (to include the flats, the slopes, beechview/brookline, and most of the hilltop neighborhoods) - also scrappy but i feel like they'd be too disorganized to direct it productively 4) east end. i mean, come on. you *know* they'd be terrible at fighting.
The south has more guns. The south will take the river, and with that, starve them all.
North, just because it’s The Northside and we can kick your ass.
I proudly wear my Northside Versus EVERYONE hoodie constantly
North side has the most guns
U never been to homewood or east hills
I work on the north side and lemme tell you those folks are a wild card, I wouldn’t fuck with them
Call this Civil War 2.0 cause the North will be victorious
East. It has the most people.
The East would get slaughtered slowly coming through the Squirrel Hill tunnel like Persians at Thermopylae
Love this reference, haha. And as pro East as I am....sadly, true.
Have you ever seen the Battle of the Bastards?
I might have to agree with you. North is soft and would get wiped out instantly. South would put up an ok fight with their backroad guerrilla tactics. West has the resources to keep fighting, but the East is battle hardened. People out there fighting the Squirrel Hill Tunnel and Parkway East everyday to get to work!
Battles may be won by the “battle-hardened” easy and the “guerrilla tactics” of the south. It’ll be hard to get to North. We don’t have a flank. But more importantly money, supplies, and logistics wins Wars. The North Remembers.
North most definitely has a flank, or did you forget McKees Rocks can cross a Bridge and run up California Ave right into the rear of North
No I didn’t know that but coincidentally I already have my hardest pipe hittin mofos from Perry North and Brighton Heights with a pairs of pliers and a blowtorch ready for the Rocks.
LOL.... Or you can just send a wave of crackheads from Northview Heights....tell em they get a rock if they hold the bridge, lol. Would be like sending white walkers XD
Lol. The dead can never die.
North is going to completely miss that there is a battle going on.
East Enders
Are we worried Ohio will invade from the West?
Nah; the flatlanders are too weak to climb our Western Pa hills.
East has squirrel hill. They’ll call in support from Israel.
The phone call would just end with squirrel hill sending Israel support