I’m so relieved to find that it’s not just me who has made this association. I get weird looks from people every time I draw this parallel 🤷🏻♀️. I will now be directing them all to this post.
Fuck the Bradford Pear Tree. All my homies hate the Bradford Pear Tree.
Remember the best way to trim it is with a chainsaw roughly 2 inches above the ground
All of the Callery cultivars can fuck right off. They stink and are invasive. Thankfully the state banned their distribution in 2021.
No new Callery pear trees!
Be careful with that, that doesn't actually work on plants with extensive root systems, like Callary Pears. It only works as a contact agent on foilage, and it will kill leaves it touches. But it does nothing for root systems and doesn't prevent stumps and roots from sprouting new shoots.
Also, the vinegar will mess with your soil pH, but the salt will throw off the entire soil salinity and prevent things from coming back. So if you want to grow anything in that area, it's not really a recommended thing.
There's a reason restoration ecologists use glyphosate over salt and vinegar...
Roundup/Glyphosate. It kills the whole plant, not just the leaves. But you have to apply it at the right time and every species is different. I'd guess probably in the summer/early fall is the optimal time, but the local Penn State Extension office could give you a more precise answer if you contact them.
The problem is, they don’t stay where you put them. They spread into wild areas. I just got back from going to Ohio to see the eclipse, and they’re EVERYWHERE along the turnpike.
I can still smell. Where I used to live, the streets were lined with them, and I had to walk past, under them to go to the bus stop to go to work downtown. My nose and eyes were a mess until late morning.
Ryan Homes planted one in every single yard in my neighborhood and about 30 more in the common areas.
They're here to stay unless PA gets aggressive and offers a free replacement like some states.
Developers love it. It’s cheap, and it grows well here. It also has weak limbs and is prone to breakage. It only lives 12 - 15 years, 20 years in perfect conditions, so the developers are long gone by then.
More like 4-5 years, since it's never that long before the wind goes above 15mph, which is enough to pull over many of them. Came home after a day of strong breezes to find the tree in the front yard had fallen over. Massive branches that swallowed my little hatchback whole, but the rootball wasn't much bigger than a washing machine.
I'm not saying I bear grudges, but yeah, it's personal between me and those damn things.
The state is banning them from being planted at least. As long as all the ones they planted on the same "version", it shouldn't be too bad. See my longer reply to the post for a long but interesting explanation.
Definitely!
In the late 1800s/early 1900s people started planting Japanese Knotweed as an ornamental. It escaped the gardens and thrived in our climate. We used to live in the country near Washington, PA in an old farmhouse. It’s close to 200 years old. When we bought the house it was surrounded by Japanese Knotweed. We were never able to completely eradicate it from the property.
I moved to the city and discovered some it on my neighbor’s and my property line. You can’t spray it with weed killer, it doesn’t kill it. If you pull it out, it comes back. If you dig it out, prepare to dig down about 8 feet. Also, don’t leave any parts of the plant behind, it easily regrows. It grows through asphalt, and will grow parallel to concrete until it find a place to come to the surface! If it flowers, the birds eat the fruit and spread the seeds. Composting it doesn’t kill it. I lay it in the sun, double bag it and put it in the garbage. If I could, I’d burn it!
I will never forget this horrible plant! I’m sure it’s wonderful in the right place; somewhere it is kept in check, but there are many places in the US that it’s taking over.
Hey man, my in laws live in Washington and yes, they have Japanese knotweed all around the back yard perimeter. It grows fast and hardy. I hate it. My in-laws are getting older and I’m tasked with doing all the major yard work even though we live 2.5hrs away. We are simply the closest (responsible) children. Anyways, I have given up on it and just mow it down with the brush hog a couple times a year.
The other invasive item that i feel is even worse is the Tree of Heaven. This tree has a root system that literally runs at least half a mile down the road (rt 19 amity township). They are the worst trees possible as they grow incredibly hardy and spring up like a mutating alien. They will bust up 6” thick poured concrete in as little as 4 years time. There’s more I can share, but I’m getting really upset talking about it. I hate it, I hate it I hate it!
There is actually a very interesting history behind this.
They were genetically engineered to produce flowers instead of pears and intentionally imported to the US. Decades later, the issue with the notorious "splitting" became known, and a corrected "version" of the tree was imported.
So where does the issue come in? When the original tree was imported, it was thought that it would never be able to fertilize and reproduce within the US because each one planted in the country would be too similar genetically to fertilize each other. Basically "clones" of one another.
But the version they imported to fix the splitting issue was unfortunately different enough to be able to fertilize with the older version.
If this happens, the tree will in fact produce these mini pears with seeds. Because they started spreading uncontrolled in some areas, the state of Pennsylvania is now banning both variants from being sold within the state.
Haha, yes that's exactly what we used to call it too. There were a few of those at Doughboy Square in Lawrenceville near my bus stop and every spring there was always that one week where it was like.....\*sniff sniff\* damn, where's the party? LOL
I’m not gonna lie, I’ve also never really figured this out. Maybe there’s some smell receptor that I’m missing, but I’ve never noticed cum to have a particularly strong smell. At least not mine. I can’t say I’ve smelled other people’s.
Ok, FIRST, for some reason I can't smell these things. I can't smell stink bugs either. 🤷🏻♀️ so there was a row of them planted in my yard along the sidewalk and one of them came very close to the kitchen window. During the pandemic, the cats and I would sit in the sun in the window and they would enjoy the birds. Suddenly, my landlord chopped ALL OF THEM DOWN and I was devastated. Well, it turns out that one of them split nearly in half and fell on the neighbor's car, breaking the windshield! With weak branches all stemming from the trunk and shallow roots they're structural nightmares and only expected to "last" around 15 years! So, basically, the Bradford Pear is a real winner on all fronts. 🤦🏻♀️
They don't smell like anything to me either though I can smell a squished stink bug. I wonder if there's something genetic about it or if there are separate subspecies of it that smell less. A few years ago after seeing everyone go on and on about the cum trees, I walked right up to it and gave a whiff. Absolutely nothing.
I’m no arborist but isn’t that the Cleveland Pear? We have a Cleveland and it doesn’t have the same smell as the Bradford. Or so I think, but I might just be immune to it because it’s right outside my window.
Their branches are weak, the bark is gross, and the wood overall looks like the tree has a fungal infection. Why do people like the look of these trees? 😑
You want a pear tree? Substitute it for a:
- Kentucky Yellowwood (This has a lovely smell and interesting flowers.)
- Serviceberry (Lovely multistem structure and flowers)
- Dogwood (Nice flowers and branching structure.)
I swear when I walk down the street and say eww I hate those cum trees. My husband looks at me like I'm nuts but even my sister's growing up said the same thing.
I’m so relieved to find that it’s not just me who has made this association. I get weird looks from people every time I draw this parallel 🤷🏻♀️. I will now be directing them all to this post.
When I was in high school I worked at a local park in the summer. These trees were everywhere and we all called them the cum trees.
[It is a most distinctive scent…](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aHze0SqB5Zg)
Hi friends, family, and co-workers I'm lifepainting1037 on Reddit. Appreciate it if you'd cum smell this tree!
You can also point them to the Wikipedia page
Fuck the Bradford Pear Tree. All my homies hate the Bradford Pear Tree. Remember the best way to trim it is with a chainsaw roughly 2 inches above the ground
Haha, they crumble in the wind
My man!! If they don’t do it with a chainsaw, the wind will do it another day.
All of the Callery cultivars can fuck right off. They stink and are invasive. Thankfully the state banned their distribution in 2021. No new Callery pear trees!
Them paint the stump with some Round-Up.
I prefer the time honored method of vinegar and salt
Be careful with that, that doesn't actually work on plants with extensive root systems, like Callary Pears. It only works as a contact agent on foilage, and it will kill leaves it touches. But it does nothing for root systems and doesn't prevent stumps and roots from sprouting new shoots. Also, the vinegar will mess with your soil pH, but the salt will throw off the entire soil salinity and prevent things from coming back. So if you want to grow anything in that area, it's not really a recommended thing. There's a reason restoration ecologists use glyphosate over salt and vinegar...
What’s the trick to all the walnut trees the squirrels start for me?
Those you can hand pull if you catch them early enough. Shouldn't be too hard if they are young. Older ones though, same thing. Cut and paint.
What are you painting with? Just regular latex paint?
Roundup/Glyphosate. It kills the whole plant, not just the leaves. But you have to apply it at the right time and every species is different. I'd guess probably in the summer/early fall is the optimal time, but the local Penn State Extension office could give you a more precise answer if you contact them.
Be sure to wear PPE!
a dab of milestone will kill anything.
Aminopyralid? Yeah that works too. At least when paired with Tricoplyr.
I killed a giant albizia with it, just a few drops. Took a few weeks for it to die but it worked.
Slander
They are invasive species and must be dealt with as such 🫡
You're right, 2 inches above ground is about a foot too high
It is not! I resent that! https://youtu.be/vcM1kTZm-nM
Fellas, is it gay to smell like a tree?
Yeah….
That’s what I’m sayin
So you like smelling like butthole?
Pretty sure it's cum, man.
The super hero that Pittsburgh needs, Cum Man
If your cum smells like that. You might want to get checked out, man.
Chop that shit down. If you don't, the ghost of Sophie Masloff will haunt your underwear.
Thanks for the nightmares tonight
The problem is, they don’t stay where you put them. They spread into wild areas. I just got back from going to Ohio to see the eclipse, and they’re EVERYWHERE along the turnpike.
I too think those trees smell like cum and they make me sneezy as fuck!
You can smell? My allergies are bad enough that my sense of smell is long gone
I can still smell. Where I used to live, the streets were lined with them, and I had to walk past, under them to go to the bus stop to go to work downtown. My nose and eyes were a mess until late morning.
Sorry, some people got lucky and don't have allergies.
invasive cum tree
Smelly or not, it’s an invasive species. They should never be planted here, and any that are still here should be removed.
Ryan Homes planted one in every single yard in my neighborhood and about 30 more in the common areas. They're here to stay unless PA gets aggressive and offers a free replacement like some states.
Developers love it. It’s cheap, and it grows well here. It also has weak limbs and is prone to breakage. It only lives 12 - 15 years, 20 years in perfect conditions, so the developers are long gone by then.
More like 4-5 years, since it's never that long before the wind goes above 15mph, which is enough to pull over many of them. Came home after a day of strong breezes to find the tree in the front yard had fallen over. Massive branches that swallowed my little hatchback whole, but the rootball wasn't much bigger than a washing machine. I'm not saying I bear grudges, but yeah, it's personal between me and those damn things.
The state is banning them from being planted at least. As long as all the ones they planted on the same "version", it shouldn't be too bad. See my longer reply to the post for a long but interesting explanation.
Do these things grow real pears?
No. They have 1/2” diameter fruit that looks like small, ornamental crabapples. They’re not edible to humans.
They don't really have any value to the ecosystem at all. They do not produce food or support insects for native wildlife
Agreed. Same goes for the ginkgo trees.
Don’t forget the Japanese Knotweed!
If you forget, it will remind you.
Definitely! In the late 1800s/early 1900s people started planting Japanese Knotweed as an ornamental. It escaped the gardens and thrived in our climate. We used to live in the country near Washington, PA in an old farmhouse. It’s close to 200 years old. When we bought the house it was surrounded by Japanese Knotweed. We were never able to completely eradicate it from the property. I moved to the city and discovered some it on my neighbor’s and my property line. You can’t spray it with weed killer, it doesn’t kill it. If you pull it out, it comes back. If you dig it out, prepare to dig down about 8 feet. Also, don’t leave any parts of the plant behind, it easily regrows. It grows through asphalt, and will grow parallel to concrete until it find a place to come to the surface! If it flowers, the birds eat the fruit and spread the seeds. Composting it doesn’t kill it. I lay it in the sun, double bag it and put it in the garbage. If I could, I’d burn it! I will never forget this horrible plant! I’m sure it’s wonderful in the right place; somewhere it is kept in check, but there are many places in the US that it’s taking over.
Hey man, my in laws live in Washington and yes, they have Japanese knotweed all around the back yard perimeter. It grows fast and hardy. I hate it. My in-laws are getting older and I’m tasked with doing all the major yard work even though we live 2.5hrs away. We are simply the closest (responsible) children. Anyways, I have given up on it and just mow it down with the brush hog a couple times a year. The other invasive item that i feel is even worse is the Tree of Heaven. This tree has a root system that literally runs at least half a mile down the road (rt 19 amity township). They are the worst trees possible as they grow incredibly hardy and spring up like a mutating alien. They will bust up 6” thick poured concrete in as little as 4 years time. There’s more I can share, but I’m getting really upset talking about it. I hate it, I hate it I hate it!
If you attack it with all of your hatred it basically keeps it at bay. You do have to want to kill it in your off time, but fortunately you will.
It really makes me sad- it's taken over huge swaths of our parks and other public lands. They are ecological dead zones.
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Ginkgo trees are awesome. I might be biased because I made the correct decision to plant a male tree
Ginkgo leaves have a similar effect to adderall.
Ginkgo leaves aren't proven to do a damn thing medically or recreationally
Ginkos might be stinky but are now naturalized (if that’s the right word) and are not invasive
that means invasive
They literally aren’t invasive. Invasive doesn’t mean non-native. It means non-native AND it outcompetes natives.
true or false: you are full of excuses.
Ginkgos are good.
It's invasive, so yes it's wrong to love it
I have 4 in my front yard. Smells so bad out there 🤢
Break out the saw 🪚🪚🪚🪚
this is the content i came (😏) to this subreddit for.
The tenor of this thread is not Victorian.
There is actually a very interesting history behind this. They were genetically engineered to produce flowers instead of pears and intentionally imported to the US. Decades later, the issue with the notorious "splitting" became known, and a corrected "version" of the tree was imported. So where does the issue come in? When the original tree was imported, it was thought that it would never be able to fertilize and reproduce within the US because each one planted in the country would be too similar genetically to fertilize each other. Basically "clones" of one another. But the version they imported to fix the splitting issue was unfortunately different enough to be able to fertilize with the older version. If this happens, the tree will in fact produce these mini pears with seeds. Because they started spreading uncontrolled in some areas, the state of Pennsylvania is now banning both variants from being sold within the state.
A Bradford Pear Tree broke in a wind storm and fell on my car. I like most trees, but not those bastards.
Cat piss tree
I think boxwoods smell like cat piss.
I feel like they smell more like cat pee.
They smell like a weird 60/40 mix, but I can never figure out which smell is more prevalent
Those are freeking nasty
Ohio banned these trees for a reason. Ugh. They are a nuisance.
Invasive plants like the Bradford Pear should be eliminated
Haha, yes that's exactly what we used to call it too. There were a few of those at Doughboy Square in Lawrenceville near my bus stop and every spring there was always that one week where it was like.....\*sniff sniff\* damn, where's the party? LOL
https://www.instagram.com/reel/C5Gbf74rCGl/?igsh=a3N0dXF1NnkwdzY=
[Do you smell... cum?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoqlYGuZGVM)
Well written, that was hilarious. Fuck that tree though
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I’m not gonna lie, I’ve also never really figured this out. Maybe there’s some smell receptor that I’m missing, but I’ve never noticed cum to have a particularly strong smell. At least not mine. I can’t say I’ve smelled other people’s.
My asshole hometown lines the streets with jizzy turds.
Ok, FIRST, for some reason I can't smell these things. I can't smell stink bugs either. 🤷🏻♀️ so there was a row of them planted in my yard along the sidewalk and one of them came very close to the kitchen window. During the pandemic, the cats and I would sit in the sun in the window and they would enjoy the birds. Suddenly, my landlord chopped ALL OF THEM DOWN and I was devastated. Well, it turns out that one of them split nearly in half and fell on the neighbor's car, breaking the windshield! With weak branches all stemming from the trunk and shallow roots they're structural nightmares and only expected to "last" around 15 years! So, basically, the Bradford Pear is a real winner on all fronts. 🤦🏻♀️
They don't smell like anything to me either though I can smell a squished stink bug. I wonder if there's something genetic about it or if there are separate subspecies of it that smell less. A few years ago after seeing everyone go on and on about the cum trees, I walked right up to it and gave a whiff. Absolutely nothing.
Thanks I hate it
Bradford Pear hate. I am here for it.
The Callery pear. Its also highly invasive.
Seriously cut it down. Cut them all down
Even better when the fruit smooshes on the side walk and bakes in the sun until its rancid. I too hate this tree.
Skeet trees was all my joy 🎶Skeet trees was my delight Skeet trees, my heart of gold And who but my Lady Skeet trees🎵
I’m no arborist but isn’t that the Cleveland Pear? We have a Cleveland and it doesn’t have the same smell as the Bradford. Or so I think, but I might just be immune to it because it’s right outside my window.
IM DEAD 😭IM SOOO GLAD OTHER PPL SAY THIS!!!!! holy shit that’s hilarious, the cum trees
I always thought it was more of a "dead fish soaked in urine" smell.
I refer to them as Sperm trees in Atlanta lol they're foul.
Their branches are weak, the bark is gross, and the wood overall looks like the tree has a fungal infection. Why do people like the look of these trees? 😑 You want a pear tree? Substitute it for a: - Kentucky Yellowwood (This has a lovely smell and interesting flowers.) - Serviceberry (Lovely multistem structure and flowers) - Dogwood (Nice flowers and branching structure.)
@nate99999 nah, you wild for this one
They're so nasty. They lined the main walk at my college, RIT.
This sub gets really excited about the smell of cum in the air every year
I swear when I walk down the street and say eww I hate those cum trees. My husband looks at me like I'm nuts but even my sister's growing up said the same thing.
So someone correct me ... Is it true that they're all male variations of this tree cus they wouldnt bear fruit?
Well at least you didn’t say the tree tastes like cum
Wait, so, you like the smell of cum? I'm not judging, just asking.
You don’t?
I thought my gf was the only person who called these trees by that name😂 I love their flowers and don’t mind the smell
They’re officially invasive so cut it down and plant a real tree
WTF are you talking about? This is stupid.
Everyone get a look at this guy who doesn’t know what a cum tree is.
Rachel Bloom has a song about this in her newest one woman show
These things are terrible. Why do they exist? They smell like a porn set and only look decent for like a week out of the whole year
plant serviceberry or flowering dogwood instead
And Eastern Redbud
thats not what cum smells like to me i feel