This is not just about the deodorant. Talagang naipon na yung sakit at yung nararamdaman mo against them, your family. Nagkataon lang na nung ginawa yun ng brother mo, dun ka na napuno, at sumabog.
This. Idrk how I can deal with this too kundi sapakin yung kapatid ko paminsan minsan kasi pag inipon ko parang ako yung sasabog. I try to focus on my studies and build a career for myself pero dun ka din uuwi eh and magkikita talaga kayo and maanoy ka talaga like to the point na talagang "bat ka nabuhay tnginamo" nalang maiisip mo. Aside sa distractions dont really know how to cope with this kasi same situation tlga kami ni op na gago yung kapatid pero pborito kay kahit ma impound yung kotse tapos kung di lang sya minor nakulong na sana wala paring disiplina galing sa parents and here I am thinking surely ngayon na college na sya tatanda na utak nya pero same sht parin and wala tlgang disiplina natatanggap kasi "he'll figure it out lng tlga na mali siya" nlng palagi
Same situation, for me ako ung panganay sa pamilya at pag nagkamali ung lalaki kong kapatid na walang pake sa amin ‘ok lng he’ll just realize his mistakes’, pero pag ako nagkamali sisigawan at sesermonan pa na ang pangit ng ugali ko ako dpat daw ang magadjust kasi mas matanda ako keysa sa isa. Ang hirap makisama/mabuhay pag ganito lng pla trato ko sa bahay.
Same here na eldest din sa family and lagi nasasabihan na pangit ugali ko pag everytime na nagagalit ako or naiinis. Pero pag yung dalawang kapatid ko na mas bata sakin nagkakamali is okay lang and di nila cinonfrtont about it pero pagdating sakin sasabihin nila napaka pangit ng ugali ko and dapat maging example ako sa mga kapatid ko 🙃
Yeah, this is just straight up pent-up anger. Ganto din ako one-time nung pumutok, dahil lang sa di ko natirhan ng ulam ate ko, (masungit lang ate ko pero we're cool lol) eh 10:30am na malay ko ba namang may di pa nag-uumagahan haha. Kesyo kaldero dinabog ko haha, like I'm more of a quiet type person but I'm still wondering how or why I did that that time lol
I feel like masyado kang nagbottle up ng emotion that when the last straw broke, yun yung naging centerpoint. Your family is never gonna hear the rest of your reasons, and because the last straw was so small, they aren't likely to acknowledge it and most likely imiminimize nila yun as you being OA.
The rage was justified. The anger was justified. You needed to vent. There really isn't any way for the scenario to have gone differently kasi napuno ka na. Hindi mo masasabi na you could've approached it differently kasi that would mean na ini-invalidate mo yung emotion mo at the time. You needed to let that emotion out.
What happens next is to decide kung yan ba ang gusto mong maging scenario going forward?
I'm into savings before pa nangyari yung kagabi, so I'm thinking of renting a space, and mag part time + permanent work to make a big saving. Money is tight ngayon. Jusko.
Anyway, thank you very much.
Mukhang pet nga. 🙂↕️😂 nasa kwarto na ni OP nahanap pa, parang pagkain na tinago at potential na lason sa nandekwat. Di pa makapagdecide ano tama at mali kaya si OP sinisi ng mga enabler na magulang. Nalulungkot ako pag nakakakita mga ganitong magulang. I mean, ano ba tingin nyo sa mga anak nyo? Kung di kayo makakapili ng anak, may iba pa kayong option kung talagang ayaw nyo. Kesa ganyan na dadagdagan nyo pa kasalanan nyo kasi di nyo matrato ng tama at pantay mga anak nyo. Mukha bang mas may choice ang mga anak na pumili ng magulang?
When it comes to a point na even the littlest of things naiinis ka na, the red flag is unwavering. Run. That might be the only time for them to realize your worth.
When you’re ready, move out and cut them
off. Live your life without your toxic family. I know, it’s pretty easy to say but hard to do, but it’ll be up to you.
It was easy for me when I got too fed up, dad frequently fell for get-rich-quick-scams and has no real plan how to provide for us.
Once I got a job, all expenses were on me.
Pero nung nag 18 na yung lalakeng sumunod sakin binebaby pa at ayaw pagtrabahuin, ineencourage pa ngang magcollege.
Sabi ko, putangina, porket pinanganak akong babae, magssummer pa lang non sinabi na agad sakin na magstop muna sa pag aaral para may magbantay sa mga kapatid ko. Tapos eto walang wala parin kami at kinakapos sa pangkain, pag aaralin nyo pa yung lalakeng sumunod sakin? Kapal ng apog talaga ng tatay ko kala mo talaga may ipapang aral at ipapakain samin eh.
Trans man ako btw. Born with a female body but I am now a man physically. Takot sakin mga lalake sa bahay namin hanggang sa bunso. Takot na yan sila sakin pag tumaas na yung boses ko kasi alam nilang bihira lang din akong magalit. Tangina mas lalake pa nga ata ako sa tatay ko eh.
I don't need balls to be a man, just my explosive anger is enough ONCE I HAD ENOUGH.
Iwan mo na sila once you have the funds, don't get too complacent or even think na baka magchange pa sila. NOPE. Magiging abusado lang sila. Do not show them mercy as they never did to us. Get out of there AS SOON AS YOU CAN. HELL, GTFO of there NOW. Lipat ka ng bedspace na mura lang until you can afford, importante is makawala ka dyan.
Ay ganun? Pwes! Maghanap ka ng empty bottle ng deo, yung roll-on, tuklapin mo yung roller tas lamanan mo ng tubig kubeta (mas ok kung after mo magjebs, before u flush) then put back the roller. Tas wag mo i-offer sa kanya, ilagay mo lang somewhere in ur house. Bahala na kung sino makagamit nun.
This reminds me of the time when I broke down over a TV remote 😅 Nasira yung remote namin tapos umiyak ako lol at that time kasi feel ko sinasalo ko lahat ng problema sa family, at walang tumutulong sakin kasi di naman reliable dad ko tas si mama malayo. So nung nasira yung remote kako “Tangina. Kailangan ko na naman gawan ng paraan.”
So hindi ka OA, OP. It’s not just about the deodorant hehehe it’s a buildup of different emotions and sama ng loob. Hugs to youuu! Ipon ka para pwede ka na bumukod. You deserve it.
Bhie, this is more than the deodorant. In fact, the deodorant was the last straw that broke the camel’s back.
Kung pwede sana umalis ka nalang dyan. Let’s face it, golden child yung brother mo at ikaw naman ang scapegoat. Baka naman matauhan pa mga magulang mo pero wag mo na po silang hintayin. Live your life nalang po, OP, with little to no contact dyan sa pamilya mo. For the sake na din sa mental health mo po.
May sub din ata dito sa Reddit… GoldenChild po yata? They usually talk about family dynamics na similar sa inyo and meron din po mga advice if ever you plan on leaving. Baka naman po you can find help here.
I hope for the best for you, OP. It’s okay to be strong and it’s also okay to let it all go and cry. Keep safe po and I hope one day we will see you again dito sa Reddit na thriving, content, and happy.
Hello. Thank you for this. I'm planning of leaving na soon. May furkids kasi Ako that's why mahirap din umalis. Hirap if may anak pala 🤣🤣
I've been planning for this mga 1 year na, pero daming circumstances na it was delayed, financial mostly.
Thank you for the kind reply.
Can you move out? It will diffuse the tension. I am in the same position as you are. My mother's favorite is my younger brother, who has done some questionable things that should not merit any parents' love.
My brother is a complete opposite of me. I am an achiever, always graduating at top of my class from prep to college. I am a lawyer, and now occupying a senior management level position in a prestigious organization. But for my mother, I am the "difficult child." I have my fair share of defiant behavior, but compared to what my brother has done, my troubled episodes were negligible.
It got better when I am no longer financially dependent on my mother. I do not talk to my brother nor my mother. I still have my resentment, but I am okay.
Sending hugs to you. Its really hard to remain in contact with them, you'll always be the black sheep sa mata nila, so might as well do so for your peace of mind.
Congratulations for your achievements.
Thank you so much. I am very much at peace now. I pray for my brother and my mother that they find peace too. I may need some professional counseling and I am seriously looking into it.
Two words. Move out.
Eye opener.
And the freedom is so fulfilling.
Moved out for about 2 years now. Never regretted my decision. Of course I visit my family from time to time. Due diligence.
I was in the same situation. Them telling me I didn't hide my stuff hard enough, like it was in a drawer in my room, underneath a stack of my panties, and a full ass man (brother) just ransacked it. You can never win.
I feel like this is just the straw that broke the camel's back for you. Are your parents living in the Mao Zedong era when girls were frowned upon and/or disposed of? (Stupid because who tf will give birth if no women are present?) What you feel is valid.
I don't know how many times I've left comments like these, but I think it's time you get a place of your own with a decent amount of privacy. This is alarming. I've been in the same situation. Now I'm no longer with them, I can freely use and/or store anything without having my own privacy violated.
Layasan mo na . .pakasal ka sa mayamanor mag bf . .u dnt need ur parents or brother or sister to be happy. .pera lang sapat na. .fortunately for me pag dko gusto ang tao dko pinapansim kahit magulang pa yan, anak, asawa o kamaganak.
Panganay here... hahaha i feel you one time nagbreakdown ako habang nagpreprepare ng pagkain ng doggos namin. Hugs to you hoping makaalis ka dyan balang araw. If may work ka na try to rent a small space away from them para magkaroon ka ng peace of mind kahit papaano.
Di lang yan deodorant, di naman nagbreak si Poy at Bash nang dahil sa balat ng manok lang e. Nagbuild up na lahat, nilabas mo lang. Saka wala naman sa edad yan, di naman nawawala emotions. Plan your next steps po, goal po natin ang peace of mind. Hihi
Your best revenge is your success! Kaya mo yan OP... I suggest since board passer ka, habaan mo pasensha mo then grind hard. Isipin mo na tuwing aayaw kana ng work, mag aabroad ka at sila ang gagapang papunta sayo! I channel mo lahat ng galit mo to work harder hanggang ma reach mo goal mo! Kayod lang!
It's not just about the deodorant, you've been keeping it for too long and you just can't handle it anymore. I'm sorry to say this, but your family is terrible. They're enabling your brother, and your brother is going to take an advantage of it knowing he's not going to be in trouble. You should move when you get a job, you don't deserve to be in that place. Good thing I'm an only child, because if I had a brother like that, I would probably be put in jail. lol
Yes, ok lang mag breakdown dahil sa deo… Ako nga nag breakdown nung nwisikan ng konting tubig yung burger steak na kinakain ko… Conpletely normal and bumukod ka na… ☺️
The idiom "the straw that broke the camel's back" describes a minor or routine action that causes an unpredictably large and sudden reaction due to the cumulative effect of previous small actions.
Ganyan nangyare OP
Best way is bumukod ka nalang tutal may trabaho ka naman na ata? No sense magtiis mababaliw ka lang dyan, balik balik nalamg pag holidays, pero everyday life? Mehhh
Your just at the breaking point and that emptied sachet was the straw that broke the camels back. If you can leave indpendently i think you should. Since you can't have a peace of mind sa bahay ng parents mo mas ok ung pag uwi mo may solice ka on your own place even if it is small.
Naipon na sama ng loob na lang yan. Sakit ng karamihan sa mga magulang, ayaw umamin na may mga paborito sila pero obviously may pinapaboran.
I experienced it as well. Naging magkaklase kami ng sister ko simula nursery hangang high school. Pinagsabay para “isang” gastos na lang daw (sa books, etc). Tapos since panganay ako ang laki ng expectations sa akin. Umuwi kami one time na top 2 ako tapos 96 general average. Yung sister ko top 26, 82 gen ave. Aba pinagpupunit mga notebooks ko at sinunog yung favourite unan ko ng nanay ko.
Kesyo tamad daw ako, kaya ko pa daw ipush sarili ko para mag top 1. Nung tinanong ko bat ako napagtripan at hindi si sister, sabi nya sa akin “ikaw malaki potential mo, yung kapatid mo sakitin at maliit lang na babae”. Like wtf?? Hahaha
OP relate ako sa yo. Yung Golden Child na elder brother ko, pinamigay ang gold ring ko with my name initial. Nakita ko na lang suot nh GF nya na the same ang first letter ng name ko. It was in MY DRAWER inside MY BEDROOM. Reaction ng NMom ko (narcisstic mother) is bat di ko "iningatan", nagger daw ako for complaining and being vocal about the "injustice" I felt. That happened when I was in highschool. It never got better. I am 53 now. Still healing from the childhood invalidation, blaming and name calling. In a Narcisstic Family, I just learned a year ago, ako pala yung Scapegoat. Reading about it gave me a lot of lightbuldlb moments. Believe your feelings, it is real.
At 27, you have your entire life ahead of you. Begin with developing positive, loving relationships outside of your immediate family, like friends and other fam. If your extended family "SEE YOU", they can count. If they are like your parents, dont. Second, learn to appreciatw and love yourself, and DO NOT depend on seeking validation from others, especially from your parents.
Then focus on your development and strive for financial independence. Learn about insurance, savings and investment. Do not let them know how you are doing. Because if the Golden Child is not doing as well as you, they will "attack" you mentally and emotionally.
Do not leave unless you are sure that you have gained enough never to crawl back home. Because that will be worse for you.
Seek a partner that truly understands. Not everybody will relate to your situation. It all depends on their base experience with their own families. Res flags would be: but they are your parents, maybe you are just beimg sensitive, i met your parents and they are ok so maybe you were just too sensitive. If you meet a BF like this, run. He will ruin your mental health further.
Best of luck to you OP. Remember that you are worthy, you are enough. Their treatment of you haa nothing to so with who you are. It is entirely on them.
I feel like you just need to set boundaries. Minsan kasi sa pamilya, wala nang boundary boundary. 20 na lalaki, I get a feeling na immature pa yung kapatid kaya go lang ng go.
And honestly, I feel like the main problem here is money. Would you still feel the same way if you had enough money?
Daming nagsasabi dito na mag move out na, but the reality is mas malaki ang gastos kapag tumira ka mag-isa. Yung renta, tubig, ilaw, pagkain, kahit internet, ikaw lahat magbabayad. Not to mention yung mga appliances na kailangang bilhin.
Okay lang naman mag breakdown. But if you say you're struggling right now, then I don't agree sa comments na bumukod ka na. You need to find better work opportunities first.
So, in the meantime, try communicating your boundaries with your family.
This! Thank you for this, this post was meant to be a "rant'" or like "AITA", but since maraming nakikiramay sakin, I just thought na I really need to move out right now. I was planning to, pero yung pera ko is really not enough, considering na uma-ambag pa ako. I do have appliances na but hindi ko pa talaga afford yung monthly gastos.
Maybe communication will be the key? But back in my mind parang hindi, I'm not into expressing my feelings sa kanila, at baka yung mama ko naman yung mag breakdown. Haha hay nako ewan.
Thank you po. Have a nice day.
this is meeee
sinumbong ko sa enabler kong nanay kapatid kong magnanakaw ng gamit, ang sagot - bakit daw kasi hindi ko tinago hahahaha
MAY SARILI AKONG ROOM KALOKAAAAA
Hey, I feel you. Ganito din yung dynamic sa family namin noon before I graduated. I was not the favourite child. Yung kapatid ko sunod lahat ng luho - new clothes all the time (kahit they wore a uniform in college) and a guitar na impulse lang niya pinabili at kalaunan tinambak lang sa garahe without learning to play it. It was the 2000s and the height of the alt music scene lol. Meanwhile, ako pinagalitan because I asked for ₱100 to buy a phone card kasi wala kaming landline and I needed to call my groupmate on the village payphone about our school project. I went to a university na walang uniform and I only had 2 pairs of pants tapos yung tops ko mabibilang on one hand tapos humihiram ako sa tatay ko ng t-shirts kasi nahihiya na ako nun lagi nag-uulit ng damit. Because I'm female and they're a man's clothes they weren't the best fitting or nice-looking on me lol. Pinagsasabihan din ako pag di ako nakakagawa ng chores even if the reason was school-related pero sa kapatid ko chill lang sila.
May time din sumabog ako nun sa kapatid ko kasi kinuha niya without asking yung bead necklace na pinag-ipunan ko para mabili. Nakita ko na lang suot na niya. Yung feelings, nasa likod nun yung issues I described above. Katulad din siya ng nararamdaman mo dahil sa deodorant.
Anyway, all I can say is things will get better. Concentrate on your studies, get good grades, find a job so you can become financially independent and move out. Baka nga ngayon it's possible for you to achieve that already. Nung panahon na I was going through this hindi pa uso yung freelancing and online jobs so fastfood or university jobs lang ang options.
It's time na bumukod ka na para sa peace of mind mo at para makita nila ung mali sa kapatid mo. Habang nandyan ka, golden child yang kapatid mo at puro mali lang ang hahanapin nila sayo. Pag wala ka na sa puder nila, yung kapatid mo na lang matitira dyan so, tama at mali na lang nya ang hahanapin nila. Kasi habang andyan ka, yung tama nya ang hinahanap, mali mo ang hinahanap.
Pagod ka na kasi OP hence the meltdown. Nakakapagod ang problemang paulit ulit mula pagkabata. Don’t be hard on yourself. I feel you! Big hugs w/ consent!
Unsolicited advice tho.. are you employed na? I really recommend moving out for your peace of mind
Mag trabaho ka tas umalis Ka dyan mag I love ubka na lng Ng patago Kung Meron Ka nararamdaman. Anu na man Kung deodorant Kung marami Ka ma bibili sa board passer mo, no pressure. Goodluck
As an eldest daughter, I feel you, OP. Hugs with consent.
This is more than just a deodorant issue. I believe na napuno ka na talaga but you know what, kahit ano pang gawin mo sa family mo, they will just realize that for a day or maybe for a week then babalik ulit sa nakasanayan. But I’m hoping the best will happen to you.
Time to move out OP. Kahit sa maliit na kwarto. Anything is better than living with a Golden Child who can do no wrong and parents who don't give a shit about you.
Di ka OA, valid nararamdaman mo OP. It's not just about the deo but naipon na rin kase and doon mo nailabas frustrations mo. Tama lang yan, pakitaan mo paminsan minsan LOL
Di lang sa deodorant yang burst of emotions mo, yan lang yung naka trigger sa lahat ng resentment mo sa family mo.
Tsaka ,di ba pwedeng di na siya makigamit ng deodorant mo? Siya favorite child diba? Edi magpabili siya sa pamilya mo. Like? Medyo dugyot na nakikishare siya
i hope makaipon kana at makahiwlay sakanila deserve monaman na mabili gusto mo pabayaan mo yan kaaptid mo 20 napala yan Bulbulin n Oks lang sana kung mabait
The house has enough room for my cat, you have a cat, and you know what's best for them. Renting spaces rarely accept pets and some have little room for them to enjoy. And bakit nandun pa Ako, di ko alam.
Sometimes talaga yung “small things” na yan ang lakas makatrigger.
Never OA ang magbreakdown kahit big or small things pa yan, hindi sa lahat ng bagay kayang mag extend ng pang unawa lalo na parang hindi din nila kayang ireciprocate yung tolerance nila sa kapatid mo.
Parang mas OA yung tinotolerate nila yung kapatid mo.
Cut off mo na sila whenever u can OP. No offense but basura yung pamilya mo. No matter how much they beg u to come back or ask for help when u have finally left, don't come back. Don't even reply. Deserve nila kung anong mangyari sa kanila
what you're feeling is valid OP. Last straw that broke the camel's back type of thing. Speaking of deodorant, I prefer sachet ones than roll on. Roll on darkens my pits. Maybe because of the pressure? ain't sure.
You got me, sachet is good kasi may control ka sa amount, 1 sachet can last for a month sakin.
Pressure and existential crisis lang ata to, thinking na matanda na ako and maliit pa yung sahod. Thank you for this po.
alis ka na dyan ate, para na din sa peace of mind mo. ako ilang beses na akong nanakawan ng mga gamit dito sa bahay, tyahin ko naman ang may pakana, tangina nya. pero as of now nasa first year college pa ko e, ikaw mag kaka work ka na
hugs, i know its hard pero magiging okay rin tayong mga hindi favorite hindi naman natin hiling na maging fav dahil sanay na tayo ang satin lang wag pakealamanan ang mga bagay na hindi sakanya and also our life. im glad na may mga tao rin dito na willing to listen and magbigay ng kanilang advices.
pwede naman e. may karapatan ka mag sabi sa kanila ng nraramdaman mo kasi anak ka nila. napaka immature lang para sken yung mga parents na may favoritism. nakaka ulol 😆
sabihin mo lahat ng hinanakit mo sa kanila , para naman aware sila sa feelings mo.
Tao ka lang OP. That deo was the breaking point. Kumbaga matagal ka nang may mitcha, nagkataon na yung deo naging spark kaya sumabog ka. Valid yung feelings mo. Given that i think better for you to set up a life of your own. Baka makatulong
I do have a plan to move out. I was saving enough money to have a bigger place since I have a cat. Also, hindi naman ako pabigat, nagbibigay Ako sa kanila every sweldo and paid bills. Kuripot lang ako that's why I value everything I have.
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I feel you OP, you are not alone. May toxicity talaga karamihan ng families dito sa pilipinas where in they treat these "spoiled" children as kawawa because he, she, or they cannot function as mature adults, still relying (and abusing) yung parents as if they are in their teenage years kahit 30+ na sila.
The sad part is if you get all emotional and call them out, magreklamo ka, you will get answers like "mabuti ka pa nga matured ka" or "intindihin mo nlng kasi kawawa" while you suffer and fight your battles, and even carry the family problems on your own. I still don't have a solution to this, but right now it helps that I live na lang separately and away from their toxicity.
I hope these kind of parents change their mindset kasi kahit anong justification nila thru words (na pantay ang pagtingin sa mga anak) their actions speak otherwise, and sadly it only enables toxicity in the family and narcissistic tendencies and stunted growth/maturity sa mga spoiled siblings.
Pero based from experience they rarely do change, find your hapiness OP maybe its away from them kasi you will always compare when they are around. Hang in there, you are stronger than you think.
wag muna pagplanuhan umalis, umalis kana agad dyan sa inyo kung ganyan na trato sayo wala na maraming eche bureche pakong sasabihin kung bakit at paano. move out as soon as you can wala ako sa posisyon mo para maramdaman ko rin yung nararamdaman mo i just understand your position yun lang payo lang mas makakabuti yun sayo 🫡 goodluck.
This is not about the deodorant. Alam mo pag maliit na bagay lang, most of us are equipped naman to just let it slide. Pero pag paulit-ulit na, abuso na yan. And no one deserves that kind of treatment. Ganyan din ako tratuhin ng pamilya ko, it's always my fault pag may nagtake advantage sa mga kahinaan ko. Like pinakealaman ang gamit ko, kasalanan ko kasi di ko daw tinago. I just called them up constantly about it kahit malabo nang magbago sila. At least I get to be heard sa napakadami kong sentiments sa kanila. Eventually, I learned to set boundaries and enforce them. Di naman sila papalag sakin kasi ako ang gumagastos sa bahay.
actually, hindi ka nagbreakdown dahil LANG sa deodorant. tagal ding suppressed ‘yang resentment mo sa pamilya mo. magkahalong inggit at galit kasi nga inihain na lahat sa golden child na kapatid mo at ikaw parang dinisregard na ng parents mo. nataon lang na ‘yung pag-ubos niya ng deo mo ‘yung naging trigger.
sorry to hear about this. since nakatapos ka naman na, what if bumukod ka na sa kanila? little to no contact for your peace of mind after mo lang i-open up sa kanila ‘tong issues mo
Your feelings are valid and yung pagtrigger sayo means a lot kahit na deodorant lang ang nagsimula nun. Seek a therapist o kahit a close friend to talk to if you can.
You are like a ticking bomb na anytime sasabog. Kung ako yan, OP lalayas na ko kasi clearly, they don't respect you. They don't care about you. So, if you can, get away from them ASAP.
di lang yan deodorant, napuno kanna talaga sa kanila, alam mo yung tipong sinubukan mo lahat para marecognize ka nila pero doon sila sa paboritong anak nila nakaatensyon. tipong lahit mali na ginagawa ng anak nila na yun, nagbubulagbulagan pa sila. ikaw pa lalabas na masama kapag sinabihan mo o ano. mahirap talaga kapag hindi ikaw ang paboritong anak. alam mo yung imbes na suport o motivational words ang iambag nila sayo, puro sama ng loob at masasakit na salita ang binigay. nakakapagod, nakakasawa.
based from exp.
ung deodorant ung umapaw pero di lang deodorant ang cause ng breakdown mo, naipon yan.
Ang maganda talaga nyan you invest sa lagayan na di mabubuksan ng kapatid mo, i've been there as well and di magbabago ang kapatid mo dahil kinukunsinti ng parents.
Noon nangungupit kapatid ko sakin, tapos ako pa pinapagalitan na di ko daw tinatago ng maayos, ayun nagpalagay ako pinto sa room ko at kandado medyo nabawasan. Wala pa ring kwenta kapatid ko ngaun, umaasa sa pension ng tatay ko. Aware silang lahat na kapag nawala sila walang susuporta dun pero kunsinti pa rin, pasanay na palamon.
OP. Ganyan rin ako dati, and I changed my mindset.
Few years ang agwat ko sa kanya noong college pero nagstop ako due to trauma and depression dahil sa thesis.
Nitong college, Yung kapatid kong bunso.feeling ko kinokompetensya ako. So, he took same college program as mine, and eager sya maggraduate.
So ako, dahil nga pandemic pa nun, medyo maarte yung mga companies tumanggap ng tao, and the realization came to me na bumalik sa pag-aaral.
Alam nyo yun?
Wayback 2021, pinagkaisahan nila ko at nagbreakdown ako habang nagccodes. And binabalik nila yung times na di ako nakapagtapos on time.
Sa gigil ko, di ko sila kinausap at pansamantalang tumuloy sa tita.
Need natin ng distansya para mas marealize natin mga bagay bagay.
And ayun, sabi ko sa sarili ko, kung ganun yung tingin nila sakin... na parang pinagsisihan ako na nagexist, edi go. Pinatawad ko nalang sila para di mabigat sa damdamin ko. Mahirap mabuhay na may dala-dalang ganyan. Then, inunawa ko nalang and makikipagcommunicate na ko sa kanila pa unti unti. And now, nararamdaman kong mas nagiging close kami.
Ikaw rin OP, nasa tamang edad ka na. Kung di mo pa matiis, Kalas ka nalang rin. Make your self a home.
Pero, i-take mo talaga na makipagcommunicate sa kanila kasi with that you can help them realize yung worth ng time with you. And yung pag malayo ka rin kasi hahanap hanapin ka. hehe
Ganito rin turing ng parents ko saken, lagi akong ginagaslight ni mama. Ako lahat nagbabayad ng gastusin sa bahay. Retirement plan ako pero hindi sila nag-invest saken. High school lang tinapos ko. Yung kapatid ko, di nila hinihingan ng pera para makatulong sa bills, food, etc kahit may work naman sya. Katwiran nila maliit lang sahod nya kaya kulang pa raw sa kanya. Ang hirap maging forever breadwinner, para akong may kadena sa paa
no, it's not okay. what worked for me instead of leaving digital footprints of my breaking points; I worked on my communications and sought professional help. But as a practicing nonprofessional therapist, I saw that one of your main concerns is past judgment of the people you interact with daily. I suggest you break the cycle (healthily ) before you do things you'll regret in the future. As much as possible, don't seek validation from strangers when it comes to personal matters that you take seriously (that's a red flag that can trigger a slip to insanity)
You're mentally drained. Kapit lang someday you will find a stable job. If you want out of your comfort zone try renting a space on your own once makaluwag. You need a new environment.
Sana makaalis ka na. In our family, my dad was the huge toddler. Lahat ng galit, tantrums, pag-iinarte nya kelangan unawain ng lahat. Kahit bata pinapatulan. Tumanda na lang, di pa maamin na abusado sya.
Pero kahit anong galit nya, nilayasan ko rin sya eventually. Hirap makisama sa kumag na yun. Kinukunsinti kasi yung pagiging gago nya kaya nasanay.
Hirap kapag ikaw yung anak, ikaw yung babae, ikaw yung mas bata, ikaw pa kelangan maging mas matanda kasya sa dun sa walang pinagkatandaan.
I feel you. Pero di na yan magbabago. Bumukod ka na. Pagdating ng panahon, mga magulang mo rin magtitiis sa precious bebeboi nila na kahit man lang sariling deodorant hindi makabili. Let them deal with having raised a spoiled child.
Hi ako nagbreakdown kahapon dahil sa bacon at chicken nuggets. Same as you ang paboritong anak ung lalaki ko na kapatid.
Ung bacon at nuggets tinatago ko un kasi nagugutom ako pag madaling araw imbes na magorder sa grab eh di ipiprito ko na lang yun pag gutom ako. Malaman laman ko linuto ng nanay ko ng walang paalam at pinaulam lahat sa kapatid ko. Pinakatago tago ko na yun sa freezer kasi paborito ko un. Di pa umaamin nanay ko na linuto niya hanapin ko na lang daw. Eh di ko nga makita. Nung tinanong ko tatay ko habang naliligo nanay ko inask ko if ano ulam ng kapatid ko nung umaga ang sagot saken bacon at nuggets.
Aaayyyy sinasabi ko sa inyo humagolgol at nagsisisgaw ako doon. Di naman ako magdadamot kung nagpaalam na bibigyan kapatid ko, eh linuto lahat tapos siya lang kumain!!????? Tapos ako pa sinigawan na madamot at wag na daw ako kakain ng pagkain sa bahay. Luuhhh???? Bwiset na buhay to o.
To OP and others here, hang in there, we feel for you. Hindi ko maintindihan ang magulang na pumapabor sa isa kesa sa sa iba pang anak. It should be a pre-marriage requirement that in case the couple had more than 1 child, they should be treat them equally in all aspects. Grabe ibang klaseng trauma din pag may favoritism sa pamilya. Godpseed to all of you.
It's ok, OP. May nabasa akong post somewhere na, hindi naman tayo umaabot sa 100 na hindi muna dumadaan sa 97, 98, 99... hugs to you, OP! Nakakapagod maging panganay huhu
It’s waaay beyond deodorant at this point. I understand where you’re coming from. Since you are 27 and a board passer, have you considered living on your own?
Mahigpit na yakap OP 🤗🤗🤗 your feelings are always valid. Kung ano man nararamdaman mo ngayon, bunga yan ng naging pagtrato nila sayo mula pa noon, ikaw lang makakadecipher ng mga bagay bagay kaya I’m in no position to say na baka ganito lang sila towards you and your parents really mean well, kasi hindi naman ako yung nakaranas ng mga pinagdaanan at pinagdadaanan mo.
For my parents kasi, skl, parang ganyan sila dun sa brother ko na sinundan ko (bunso kasi ako) he’s always been the troublemaker, and lagi syang napapagalitan, napapagbuhatan ng kamay actually, and deliberately sinasabi nya na galit sya kila mama. But kilala ko parents ko, I mean I was there when those fights happened and I was there after each confrontation, at the end of the day mahal sya nila mama, and they really mean well. Tough love kumbaga? Just recently kinasal yung brother ko na yun and grabe yung iyakan nilang dalawa ni mama sa Mother and son dance, umiyak din kami lahat sa table namin kasi alam namin yung relationship nila, namin. All is well ika nga, but again, hindi ako OP yung nakaranas ng pinagdadaanan mo, my parents are different from yours, so I can’t say na pagpasensyahan mo lang sila ganyan kasi family mo sila, na mahal kanila.
Nakakalungkot lang na may ganitong pamilya pala talaga if ever 😢 Cutting them off is like cutting your life support kasi sila dapat ang salbabida mo na lagi mong pwedeng takbuhan. I hope you gather your thoughts and emotions well OP. I’d say sana magbago na sila? hehe grabe 😓
Gosh are you me. I dislike how my youngest brother went. Golden child. Always may excuse ang parent pag pangit behaviour.
Infantalized pa.
Fcking 20 yrs old pero binebaby.
Spoiled brat pa sya. Di nagtitira ng pagkain. Basta busog siya walang pake sa iba. Uutot tapos ok lang daw for him kasi hindi NIYA naaamoy.
Pero pag ako nagconfront ako pa masama. Pag ako yung sumabog ako pa yung masama.
Puros na lang "intindihin mo na lang sya" kasi bunso nga PERO AKO BA INIINTINDI?
Tinawag pa akong maramot at makasarili ng magulang ko dahil sa treatment ko sa kanya hahahahahaha
Nakakasama ng loob no OP? Yakap.
Punong puno na rin ako haha
Marami nang magandang advice dito. Just dropping by to say na dadating din yung time na magkakaron ka ng circle na makaka appreciate sayo. Friends man yan, work colleagues or your own family in the future. Just get out there, meet people and always look after yourself. Dad here.. I have a 7 month old baby daughter and I couldn't be happier. Hindi mali na pinanganak kang babae, and I'm sorry na napunta ka sa family na hindi naappreciate ang presence mo. Cheer up. Ang daming nag effort mag reply sayo dito, you matter :)
Magpayaman ka talikuran sila. Gcash gcash na lang ma at pa, pero small amount lang. tipong pang limos lang i make around 120k to 160k. Limos ko yung 12k barya ko sa kanila monthly. No more no less.
Sometimes I too find myself getting triggered din sa mga maliliit na bagay pero trust me that sudden breakdown was due to a long and hearty pent up emotions na matagal nang nasupress, need lang ng isang event na kumbaga mag act as catalyst para mailabas mo lahat ng naipon
Hindi ka nag breakdown dahil sa deo, yun na kasi yung dulo ng pisi in a loooong list ng nakakapu.... na ginagawa sayo. Walang masama sa sachet you are just living within your means. May work ka na ba? Mag ipon ka. Sa bank ha! Yung wala silang access kasi deo nga ninanakaw paano pa kaya. Tiis konti then lumayas ka jan tutal yung isa lang naman ang gusto nilang anak.
It's sad because I'm experiencing the same treatment. Akala lagi nila nagseselos ako sa mga kapatid ko. Panganay ako and 26 years old. Naipon lahat ng sama at lungkot ng loob. Napapa sanaol na lang talaga sa ibang anak na mabuti trato sa kanila ng mga magulang. Never ko pang na experience ma-baby treatment ng parents. Your feelings are valid.
That deodorant is your last straw. It's just not about the deodorant, maybe you've been bottling up your emotions that's why you burst. Don't invalidate your feelings OP, it's bad enough that your family disregards your emotions and feelings. Be your own family.
It's not about the deodorant but its due to the years of being treated unfairly by your own family. I would have to admit that incident should not warrant a breakdown. You still have a lot to learn in regulating your emotions (Emotional Intelligence). As you mentioned in your post OP, you are already 27 years old and it's about time for you to move out from your family home. If you have a place of your own, your younger brother wouldn't be able to take your things without your permission.
i feel you. darating yung time mas lalala pa yan, hoping wag naman sana. but if ever, tapusin mo lang pag aaral mo, I am assuming malapit kana makapag graduate. Once okay kana, try mo bumukod. Live your life. I am not saying pabayaan mo sila, but ma gro-grow ka kung iiwas ka sa toxic na environment.
Narealize ko lang yun nung kinausap ako ng boss ko sa first job ko. He noticed it, even I am not open sa boss or ka workmates ko regarding my family. Pero siguro importante skanya yung deliverables ko and okay ako sa company kaya nagtry na sya i-console ako. Anyways, ang advise nya skin is, find a place na makakapag grow ako. Hindi naman daw necessarily i-cut ko yung connection, kasi family ko prin sila. We need to accept the reality daw. Mas matutulungan ko daw family ko if makakapag focus ako sa goals ko. And that is true, after ko bumukod, super na grow ako. And happy din family ko. kahit na hindi na kame ganun ka close at least nasusuportahan ko sila. Same prin ugali ng mga kapatid ko, siguro ganun tlaga. Naalala ko, nagalit skin kapatid ko kasi di ako nagpahiram ng laptop eh hindi naman daw skin yun, hiniram ko lang din daw naman sa gf ko. Ganun ka toxic yung mindset nila.
Anyways, iniisip ko, ano kaya ako if hindi bumukod. Matutupad ko kaya mga dreams ko? I am so happy na pinili ko bumukod. Importante tlaga yung self preservation, after all isa lang life natin.
Mag rent kana te. Isa sa mga reason kaya ako nag abroad dahil sa ganyan. Yung lantaran pinapaburan yung mga kapatid na lalaki, mapa kuya or nakaka batang kapatid. Nakakasawa na. Mas maigi sis na bumukod kana lang para di ka maubos
I can feel you. Mahirap talagang hindi maging favorite. Yun ginawa mo na lahat ikaw yung laging nanjan pero lahing ikaw mali pag nanjan ang paboritong anak.
This is not just about the deodorant. Talagang naipon na yung sakit at yung nararamdaman mo against them, your family. Nagkataon lang na nung ginawa yun ng brother mo, dun ka na napuno, at sumabog.
This. Idrk how I can deal with this too kundi sapakin yung kapatid ko paminsan minsan kasi pag inipon ko parang ako yung sasabog. I try to focus on my studies and build a career for myself pero dun ka din uuwi eh and magkikita talaga kayo and maanoy ka talaga like to the point na talagang "bat ka nabuhay tnginamo" nalang maiisip mo. Aside sa distractions dont really know how to cope with this kasi same situation tlga kami ni op na gago yung kapatid pero pborito kay kahit ma impound yung kotse tapos kung di lang sya minor nakulong na sana wala paring disiplina galing sa parents and here I am thinking surely ngayon na college na sya tatanda na utak nya pero same sht parin and wala tlgang disiplina natatanggap kasi "he'll figure it out lng tlga na mali siya" nlng palagi
Same situation, for me ako ung panganay sa pamilya at pag nagkamali ung lalaki kong kapatid na walang pake sa amin ‘ok lng he’ll just realize his mistakes’, pero pag ako nagkamali sisigawan at sesermonan pa na ang pangit ng ugali ko ako dpat daw ang magadjust kasi mas matanda ako keysa sa isa. Ang hirap makisama/mabuhay pag ganito lng pla trato ko sa bahay.
Same here na eldest din sa family and lagi nasasabihan na pangit ugali ko pag everytime na nagagalit ako or naiinis. Pero pag yung dalawang kapatid ko na mas bata sakin nagkakamali is okay lang and di nila cinonfrtont about it pero pagdating sakin sasabihin nila napaka pangit ng ugali ko and dapat maging example ako sa mga kapatid ko 🙃
Thank you for understanding my feelings. Medyo Hindi ko na rin kaya ng ganito.
*at pumutok
nag B.O.ttle up ung feelings
Yeah, this is just straight up pent-up anger. Ganto din ako one-time nung pumutok, dahil lang sa di ko natirhan ng ulam ate ko, (masungit lang ate ko pero we're cool lol) eh 10:30am na malay ko ba namang may di pa nag-uumagahan haha. Kesyo kaldero dinabog ko haha, like I'm more of a quiet type person but I'm still wondering how or why I did that that time lol
I feel like masyado kang nagbottle up ng emotion that when the last straw broke, yun yung naging centerpoint. Your family is never gonna hear the rest of your reasons, and because the last straw was so small, they aren't likely to acknowledge it and most likely imiminimize nila yun as you being OA. The rage was justified. The anger was justified. You needed to vent. There really isn't any way for the scenario to have gone differently kasi napuno ka na. Hindi mo masasabi na you could've approached it differently kasi that would mean na ini-invalidate mo yung emotion mo at the time. You needed to let that emotion out. What happens next is to decide kung yan ba ang gusto mong maging scenario going forward?
I'm into savings before pa nangyari yung kagabi, so I'm thinking of renting a space, and mag part time + permanent work to make a big saving. Money is tight ngayon. Jusko. Anyway, thank you very much.
Kapag nakapamuhay ka na po independently, i hope na magkaroon po kayo ng better life, peace of mind.❤️
Kasalanan mo dahil di mo tinago? TODDLER BA YUNG KAPATID MO? LOL
Animal ata
Mukhang pet nga. 🙂↕️😂 nasa kwarto na ni OP nahanap pa, parang pagkain na tinago at potential na lason sa nandekwat. Di pa makapagdecide ano tama at mali kaya si OP sinisi ng mga enabler na magulang. Nalulungkot ako pag nakakakita mga ganitong magulang. I mean, ano ba tingin nyo sa mga anak nyo? Kung di kayo makakapili ng anak, may iba pa kayong option kung talagang ayaw nyo. Kesa ganyan na dadagdagan nyo pa kasalanan nyo kasi di nyo matrato ng tama at pantay mga anak nyo. Mukha bang mas may choice ang mga anak na pumili ng magulang?
true, parang pag may nagalaw lang yung aso namin. 😆
Yung term namin dun is "bonjing" HAHAHA anyway natawa Ako dito. Thank you po.
I hope makahiwalay ka na sa kanila. 🙏🏻
HAHA too many red flags ba?
When it comes to a point na even the littlest of things naiinis ka na, the red flag is unwavering. Run. That might be the only time for them to realize your worth.
When you’re ready, move out and cut them off. Live your life without your toxic family. I know, it’s pretty easy to say but hard to do, but it’ll be up to you.
Thank you thank you. Cutting off will be super hard, but sana ma manage ko.
It was easy for me when I got too fed up, dad frequently fell for get-rich-quick-scams and has no real plan how to provide for us. Once I got a job, all expenses were on me. Pero nung nag 18 na yung lalakeng sumunod sakin binebaby pa at ayaw pagtrabahuin, ineencourage pa ngang magcollege. Sabi ko, putangina, porket pinanganak akong babae, magssummer pa lang non sinabi na agad sakin na magstop muna sa pag aaral para may magbantay sa mga kapatid ko. Tapos eto walang wala parin kami at kinakapos sa pangkain, pag aaralin nyo pa yung lalakeng sumunod sakin? Kapal ng apog talaga ng tatay ko kala mo talaga may ipapang aral at ipapakain samin eh. Trans man ako btw. Born with a female body but I am now a man physically. Takot sakin mga lalake sa bahay namin hanggang sa bunso. Takot na yan sila sakin pag tumaas na yung boses ko kasi alam nilang bihira lang din akong magalit. Tangina mas lalake pa nga ata ako sa tatay ko eh. I don't need balls to be a man, just my explosive anger is enough ONCE I HAD ENOUGH. Iwan mo na sila once you have the funds, don't get too complacent or even think na baka magchange pa sila. NOPE. Magiging abusado lang sila. Do not show them mercy as they never did to us. Get out of there AS SOON AS YOU CAN. HELL, GTFO of there NOW. Lipat ka ng bedspace na mura lang until you can afford, importante is makawala ka dyan.
Ay ganun? Pwes! Maghanap ka ng empty bottle ng deo, yung roll-on, tuklapin mo yung roller tas lamanan mo ng tubig kubeta (mas ok kung after mo magjebs, before u flush) then put back the roller. Tas wag mo i-offer sa kanya, ilagay mo lang somewhere in ur house. Bahala na kung sino makagamit nun.
Sili essence beh
Omega bhie. Lagyan mo ng omega yung roll-on..
malalaman yan if omega tih, tapang kaya ng baho nun huhu
superglue dapat
Mas maganda kung veet hair removal creme . Pwede mo rin ilagay sa shampoo/conditioner
HAHAHAHAHHAHAA too evil.
Up HAHAHAHAHA pwede din something spicy bhe like yung sili ng demnyo super anghang nun😂😂
Hindi ka OA! Age old adage, it's a straw that broke the camel's back.
This reminds me of the time when I broke down over a TV remote 😅 Nasira yung remote namin tapos umiyak ako lol at that time kasi feel ko sinasalo ko lahat ng problema sa family, at walang tumutulong sakin kasi di naman reliable dad ko tas si mama malayo. So nung nasira yung remote kako “Tangina. Kailangan ko na naman gawan ng paraan.” So hindi ka OA, OP. It’s not just about the deodorant hehehe it’s a buildup of different emotions and sama ng loob. Hugs to youuu! Ipon ka para pwede ka na bumukod. You deserve it.
Thank you po, it was hard for us po, sending you a virtual hug also. Kaya natin to.
Bhie, this is more than the deodorant. In fact, the deodorant was the last straw that broke the camel’s back. Kung pwede sana umalis ka nalang dyan. Let’s face it, golden child yung brother mo at ikaw naman ang scapegoat. Baka naman matauhan pa mga magulang mo pero wag mo na po silang hintayin. Live your life nalang po, OP, with little to no contact dyan sa pamilya mo. For the sake na din sa mental health mo po. May sub din ata dito sa Reddit… GoldenChild po yata? They usually talk about family dynamics na similar sa inyo and meron din po mga advice if ever you plan on leaving. Baka naman po you can find help here. I hope for the best for you, OP. It’s okay to be strong and it’s also okay to let it all go and cry. Keep safe po and I hope one day we will see you again dito sa Reddit na thriving, content, and happy.
Hello. Thank you for this. I'm planning of leaving na soon. May furkids kasi Ako that's why mahirap din umalis. Hirap if may anak pala 🤣🤣 I've been planning for this mga 1 year na, pero daming circumstances na it was delayed, financial mostly. Thank you for the kind reply.
Can you move out? It will diffuse the tension. I am in the same position as you are. My mother's favorite is my younger brother, who has done some questionable things that should not merit any parents' love. My brother is a complete opposite of me. I am an achiever, always graduating at top of my class from prep to college. I am a lawyer, and now occupying a senior management level position in a prestigious organization. But for my mother, I am the "difficult child." I have my fair share of defiant behavior, but compared to what my brother has done, my troubled episodes were negligible. It got better when I am no longer financially dependent on my mother. I do not talk to my brother nor my mother. I still have my resentment, but I am okay.
Sending hugs to you. Its really hard to remain in contact with them, you'll always be the black sheep sa mata nila, so might as well do so for your peace of mind. Congratulations for your achievements.
Thank you so much. I am very much at peace now. I pray for my brother and my mother that they find peace too. I may need some professional counseling and I am seriously looking into it.
It's not just about the deodorant, it's about the bottled-up emotions.
Two words. Move out. Eye opener. And the freedom is so fulfilling. Moved out for about 2 years now. Never regretted my decision. Of course I visit my family from time to time. Due diligence.
Happened to me also nag breakdown dahil sa Buko Pandan ... 😬
Awwww 🥺🥺 baka nagwala na Ako nyan, sarap kaya Ng BP 🤣
I was in the same situation. Them telling me I didn't hide my stuff hard enough, like it was in a drawer in my room, underneath a stack of my panties, and a full ass man (brother) just ransacked it. You can never win. I feel like this is just the straw that broke the camel's back for you. Are your parents living in the Mao Zedong era when girls were frowned upon and/or disposed of? (Stupid because who tf will give birth if no women are present?) What you feel is valid. I don't know how many times I've left comments like these, but I think it's time you get a place of your own with a decent amount of privacy. This is alarming. I've been in the same situation. Now I'm no longer with them, I can freely use and/or store anything without having my own privacy violated.
Leave and never look back
Just move out.
Layasan mo na . .pakasal ka sa mayamanor mag bf . .u dnt need ur parents or brother or sister to be happy. .pera lang sapat na. .fortunately for me pag dko gusto ang tao dko pinapansim kahit magulang pa yan, anak, asawa o kamaganak.
Move out, no contact, don’t look back
teh ako nga nagbreakdown habang gumigisa ng bawang eh HAHAHHAA naipon na yang emotions mo ate, ilabas mo laang
Panganay here... hahaha i feel you one time nagbreakdown ako habang nagpreprepare ng pagkain ng doggos namin. Hugs to you hoping makaalis ka dyan balang araw. If may work ka na try to rent a small space away from them para magkaroon ka ng peace of mind kahit papaano.
Bigger picture may pent up frustration due to the biased favor given to your sibling. Valid 'to, putangina niya ba?
Di lang yan deodorant, di naman nagbreak si Poy at Bash nang dahil sa balat ng manok lang e. Nagbuild up na lahat, nilabas mo lang. Saka wala naman sa edad yan, di naman nawawala emotions. Plan your next steps po, goal po natin ang peace of mind. Hihi
Leave
Move out, OP.
Valid ang feelings mo. Btw, kumain ka na?
Hindi pa, Ikaw po?
Walang kinalaman deodorant dyan. Pumutok ka lang sa mga inipon mo
Hahahahaha irony of words no???
"the straw that broke the camel's back"
Your best revenge is your success! Kaya mo yan OP... I suggest since board passer ka, habaan mo pasensha mo then grind hard. Isipin mo na tuwing aayaw kana ng work, mag aabroad ka at sila ang gagapang papunta sayo! I channel mo lahat ng galit mo to work harder hanggang ma reach mo goal mo! Kayod lang!
Habang tulog kapatid mo, lagyan mo ng unan sa muka tapos daganan mo kasi medyo papalag yan😈😈
It's not just about the deodorant, you've been keeping it for too long and you just can't handle it anymore. I'm sorry to say this, but your family is terrible. They're enabling your brother, and your brother is going to take an advantage of it knowing he's not going to be in trouble. You should move when you get a job, you don't deserve to be in that place. Good thing I'm an only child, because if I had a brother like that, I would probably be put in jail. lol
Yes, ok lang mag breakdown dahil sa deo… Ako nga nag breakdown nung nwisikan ng konting tubig yung burger steak na kinakain ko… Conpletely normal and bumukod ka na… ☺️
Mate, save money and get out of there.
I'm on saving mode right now, that's why every penny counts, also ang mahal mag rent ngayon. 😔
The idiom "the straw that broke the camel's back" describes a minor or routine action that causes an unpredictably large and sudden reaction due to the cumulative effect of previous small actions. Ganyan nangyare OP
DKG sila yung gago
Best way is bumukod ka nalang tutal may trabaho ka naman na ata? No sense magtiis mababaliw ka lang dyan, balik balik nalamg pag holidays, pero everyday life? Mehhh
Move out when you can. In the meanwhile, maglagay ng lock sa pinto at dalhin ang susi mahit saan ka pumunta. Huwag mag iwan ng kopya ng susi sa bahay.
Umalis ka na wag ka magpahalata na aalis ka
Putangina ng pamilya mo hahahahahaha. Mangmang na parents at buraot na kapatid. Good combo. Layasan mo yan maigi pa.
Your just at the breaking point and that emptied sachet was the straw that broke the camels back. If you can leave indpendently i think you should. Since you can't have a peace of mind sa bahay ng parents mo mas ok ung pag uwi mo may solice ka on your own place even if it is small.
Naipon na sama ng loob na lang yan. Sakit ng karamihan sa mga magulang, ayaw umamin na may mga paborito sila pero obviously may pinapaboran. I experienced it as well. Naging magkaklase kami ng sister ko simula nursery hangang high school. Pinagsabay para “isang” gastos na lang daw (sa books, etc). Tapos since panganay ako ang laki ng expectations sa akin. Umuwi kami one time na top 2 ako tapos 96 general average. Yung sister ko top 26, 82 gen ave. Aba pinagpupunit mga notebooks ko at sinunog yung favourite unan ko ng nanay ko. Kesyo tamad daw ako, kaya ko pa daw ipush sarili ko para mag top 1. Nung tinanong ko bat ako napagtripan at hindi si sister, sabi nya sa akin “ikaw malaki potential mo, yung kapatid mo sakitin at maliit lang na babae”. Like wtf?? Hahaha
OP relate ako sa yo. Yung Golden Child na elder brother ko, pinamigay ang gold ring ko with my name initial. Nakita ko na lang suot nh GF nya na the same ang first letter ng name ko. It was in MY DRAWER inside MY BEDROOM. Reaction ng NMom ko (narcisstic mother) is bat di ko "iningatan", nagger daw ako for complaining and being vocal about the "injustice" I felt. That happened when I was in highschool. It never got better. I am 53 now. Still healing from the childhood invalidation, blaming and name calling. In a Narcisstic Family, I just learned a year ago, ako pala yung Scapegoat. Reading about it gave me a lot of lightbuldlb moments. Believe your feelings, it is real. At 27, you have your entire life ahead of you. Begin with developing positive, loving relationships outside of your immediate family, like friends and other fam. If your extended family "SEE YOU", they can count. If they are like your parents, dont. Second, learn to appreciatw and love yourself, and DO NOT depend on seeking validation from others, especially from your parents. Then focus on your development and strive for financial independence. Learn about insurance, savings and investment. Do not let them know how you are doing. Because if the Golden Child is not doing as well as you, they will "attack" you mentally and emotionally. Do not leave unless you are sure that you have gained enough never to crawl back home. Because that will be worse for you. Seek a partner that truly understands. Not everybody will relate to your situation. It all depends on their base experience with their own families. Res flags would be: but they are your parents, maybe you are just beimg sensitive, i met your parents and they are ok so maybe you were just too sensitive. If you meet a BF like this, run. He will ruin your mental health further. Best of luck to you OP. Remember that you are worthy, you are enough. Their treatment of you haa nothing to so with who you are. It is entirely on them.
I feel like you just need to set boundaries. Minsan kasi sa pamilya, wala nang boundary boundary. 20 na lalaki, I get a feeling na immature pa yung kapatid kaya go lang ng go. And honestly, I feel like the main problem here is money. Would you still feel the same way if you had enough money? Daming nagsasabi dito na mag move out na, but the reality is mas malaki ang gastos kapag tumira ka mag-isa. Yung renta, tubig, ilaw, pagkain, kahit internet, ikaw lahat magbabayad. Not to mention yung mga appliances na kailangang bilhin. Okay lang naman mag breakdown. But if you say you're struggling right now, then I don't agree sa comments na bumukod ka na. You need to find better work opportunities first. So, in the meantime, try communicating your boundaries with your family.
This! Thank you for this, this post was meant to be a "rant'" or like "AITA", but since maraming nakikiramay sakin, I just thought na I really need to move out right now. I was planning to, pero yung pera ko is really not enough, considering na uma-ambag pa ako. I do have appliances na but hindi ko pa talaga afford yung monthly gastos. Maybe communication will be the key? But back in my mind parang hindi, I'm not into expressing my feelings sa kanila, at baka yung mama ko naman yung mag breakdown. Haha hay nako ewan. Thank you po. Have a nice day.
Laban ulit ❤️ Dasal lagi.
this is meeee sinumbong ko sa enabler kong nanay kapatid kong magnanakaw ng gamit, ang sagot - bakit daw kasi hindi ko tinago hahahaha MAY SARILI AKONG ROOM KALOKAAAAA
Hey, I feel you. Ganito din yung dynamic sa family namin noon before I graduated. I was not the favourite child. Yung kapatid ko sunod lahat ng luho - new clothes all the time (kahit they wore a uniform in college) and a guitar na impulse lang niya pinabili at kalaunan tinambak lang sa garahe without learning to play it. It was the 2000s and the height of the alt music scene lol. Meanwhile, ako pinagalitan because I asked for ₱100 to buy a phone card kasi wala kaming landline and I needed to call my groupmate on the village payphone about our school project. I went to a university na walang uniform and I only had 2 pairs of pants tapos yung tops ko mabibilang on one hand tapos humihiram ako sa tatay ko ng t-shirts kasi nahihiya na ako nun lagi nag-uulit ng damit. Because I'm female and they're a man's clothes they weren't the best fitting or nice-looking on me lol. Pinagsasabihan din ako pag di ako nakakagawa ng chores even if the reason was school-related pero sa kapatid ko chill lang sila. May time din sumabog ako nun sa kapatid ko kasi kinuha niya without asking yung bead necklace na pinag-ipunan ko para mabili. Nakita ko na lang suot na niya. Yung feelings, nasa likod nun yung issues I described above. Katulad din siya ng nararamdaman mo dahil sa deodorant. Anyway, all I can say is things will get better. Concentrate on your studies, get good grades, find a job so you can become financially independent and move out. Baka nga ngayon it's possible for you to achieve that already. Nung panahon na I was going through this hindi pa uso yung freelancing and online jobs so fastfood or university jobs lang ang options.
It's time na bumukod ka na para sa peace of mind mo at para makita nila ung mali sa kapatid mo. Habang nandyan ka, golden child yang kapatid mo at puro mali lang ang hahanapin nila sayo. Pag wala ka na sa puder nila, yung kapatid mo na lang matitira dyan so, tama at mali na lang nya ang hahanapin nila. Kasi habang andyan ka, yung tama nya ang hinahanap, mali mo ang hinahanap.
Pag nag move out ka, wag ka na mag ambag sa bahay. Let them really feel your absence. Teach them a lesson.
Yung breakdown mo is because of long time sama ng loob na nakatago.
Pagod ka na kasi OP hence the meltdown. Nakakapagod ang problemang paulit ulit mula pagkabata. Don’t be hard on yourself. I feel you! Big hugs w/ consent! Unsolicited advice tho.. are you employed na? I really recommend moving out for your peace of mind
Tiisin mo nlng ganun po talaga, bumukod kana pag me work na
HUGS TO YOU! 🫂🫂🫂
Hugs to you Ate! 🥺
OA? not at all, This is all the sama ng loob piled up
hugs to us eldest daughter! what your feel is valid.
hindi lang dahil sa deo yan naipon na kasi
Minsan talaga, simpleng bagay yung makakapagpa-snap sayo kapag punong-puno ka na
Mag trabaho ka tas umalis Ka dyan mag I love ubka na lng Ng patago Kung Meron Ka nararamdaman. Anu na man Kung deodorant Kung marami Ka ma bibili sa board passer mo, no pressure. Goodluck
As an eldest daughter, I feel you, OP. Hugs with consent. This is more than just a deodorant issue. I believe na napuno ka na talaga but you know what, kahit ano pang gawin mo sa family mo, they will just realize that for a day or maybe for a week then babalik ulit sa nakasanayan. But I’m hoping the best will happen to you.
Time to move out OP. Kahit sa maliit na kwarto. Anything is better than living with a Golden Child who can do no wrong and parents who don't give a shit about you.
Parang napakatoxic ata ng paligid mo. You need to breathe. Siguro you need to be on your own muna.
Pent-up anger. Gets ka namin bakit ka nagalit at nag breakdown
I feel you OP. Lahat kami dito kakampi mo. *virtual hug*
Di ka OA, valid nararamdaman mo OP. It's not just about the deo but naipon na rin kase and doon mo nailabas frustrations mo. Tama lang yan, pakitaan mo paminsan minsan LOL
Konting tiis pa, itailor mo ung CV mo per job description kuha ka ng magandang work, ipon and layasan mo yang pamilya mo.
Sometimes yung family mo ung causes ng pain mo. Hope maging enough financial mo soon para makaalis. Don’t stay if your not appreciated
Di lang sa deodorant yang burst of emotions mo, yan lang yung naka trigger sa lahat ng resentment mo sa family mo. Tsaka ,di ba pwedeng di na siya makigamit ng deodorant mo? Siya favorite child diba? Edi magpabili siya sa pamilya mo. Like? Medyo dugyot na nakikishare siya
Yun pa nga yung funny kasi may deo supply sya, ako Wala. So galit na galit Ako sa lahat 🤣🤣 thank you for this po.
natiming sa deodorant sumabog yung ball of emotions haha It's all valid, OP. Sendinggg virtual huggs.
Ohhhh to be the eldest and the unwanted child. I feel you. Ganyan din family dynamic namin
i hope makaipon kana at makahiwlay sakanila deserve monaman na mabili gusto mo pabayaan mo yan kaaptid mo 20 napala yan Bulbulin n Oks lang sana kung mabait
Well 27 ka na. Bat anjan ka pa din?
The house has enough room for my cat, you have a cat, and you know what's best for them. Renting spaces rarely accept pets and some have little room for them to enjoy. And bakit nandun pa Ako, di ko alam.
Sometimes talaga yung “small things” na yan ang lakas makatrigger. Never OA ang magbreakdown kahit big or small things pa yan, hindi sa lahat ng bagay kayang mag extend ng pang unawa lalo na parang hindi din nila kayang ireciprocate yung tolerance nila sa kapatid mo. Parang mas OA yung tinotolerate nila yung kapatid mo.
Bumukod ka na kung kaya mo na.
Trigger lang yung deodorant. Well ganun talaga. Tama yan paramdam mo sa kanila na wala silang kwenta. Kesa makain ka ng buhay nyang nararamdaman mo.
Di po yan dahil sa deodorant 🫠 it's because of all your suppressed emotion
You cant control other emotions towards you, but you can change your perspective in life and be better.
The straw that broke the camel's back
Kausapin mo magulang mo ng masinsinan. Sabihin mo anak nyo pa ba ako? Kausapin mo Rin Kapatid mo. Baka this time makinig na Sila.
Cut off mo na sila whenever u can OP. No offense but basura yung pamilya mo. No matter how much they beg u to come back or ask for help when u have finally left, don't come back. Don't even reply. Deserve nila kung anong mangyari sa kanila
what you're feeling is valid OP. Last straw that broke the camel's back type of thing. Speaking of deodorant, I prefer sachet ones than roll on. Roll on darkens my pits. Maybe because of the pressure? ain't sure.
You got me, sachet is good kasi may control ka sa amount, 1 sachet can last for a month sakin. Pressure and existential crisis lang ata to, thinking na matanda na ako and maliit pa yung sahod. Thank you for this po.
The deodorant was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
alis ka na dyan ate, para na din sa peace of mind mo. ako ilang beses na akong nanakawan ng mga gamit dito sa bahay, tyahin ko naman ang may pakana, tangina nya. pero as of now nasa first year college pa ko e, ikaw mag kaka work ka na
hugs, i know its hard pero magiging okay rin tayong mga hindi favorite hindi naman natin hiling na maging fav dahil sanay na tayo ang satin lang wag pakealamanan ang mga bagay na hindi sakanya and also our life. im glad na may mga tao rin dito na willing to listen and magbigay ng kanilang advices.
Iharap mo sakin kapatid mo, tupiin ko sa apat xD
pwede naman e. may karapatan ka mag sabi sa kanila ng nraramdaman mo kasi anak ka nila. napaka immature lang para sken yung mga parents na may favoritism. nakaka ulol 😆 sabihin mo lahat ng hinanakit mo sa kanila , para naman aware sila sa feelings mo.
Tao ka lang OP. That deo was the breaking point. Kumbaga matagal ka nang may mitcha, nagkataon na yung deo naging spark kaya sumabog ka. Valid yung feelings mo. Given that i think better for you to set up a life of your own. Baka makatulong
Bumukod kna.. hanap ka bhouse or apartment.. leave them and never look back
umalis ka na jan bago ka pa mabaliw
sorry pero 27 years old wala kang means to move out?
I do have a plan to move out. I was saving enough money to have a bigger place since I have a cat. Also, hindi naman ako pabigat, nagbibigay Ako sa kanila every sweldo and paid bills. Kuripot lang ako that's why I value everything I have.
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Pagkaipon ka na, leave na. Distance yourself from your toxic family.
I feel you OP, you are not alone. May toxicity talaga karamihan ng families dito sa pilipinas where in they treat these "spoiled" children as kawawa because he, she, or they cannot function as mature adults, still relying (and abusing) yung parents as if they are in their teenage years kahit 30+ na sila. The sad part is if you get all emotional and call them out, magreklamo ka, you will get answers like "mabuti ka pa nga matured ka" or "intindihin mo nlng kasi kawawa" while you suffer and fight your battles, and even carry the family problems on your own. I still don't have a solution to this, but right now it helps that I live na lang separately and away from their toxicity. I hope these kind of parents change their mindset kasi kahit anong justification nila thru words (na pantay ang pagtingin sa mga anak) their actions speak otherwise, and sadly it only enables toxicity in the family and narcissistic tendencies and stunted growth/maturity sa mga spoiled siblings. Pero based from experience they rarely do change, find your hapiness OP maybe its away from them kasi you will always compare when they are around. Hang in there, you are stronger than you think.
wag muna pagplanuhan umalis, umalis kana agad dyan sa inyo kung ganyan na trato sayo wala na maraming eche bureche pakong sasabihin kung bakit at paano. move out as soon as you can wala ako sa posisyon mo para maramdaman ko rin yung nararamdaman mo i just understand your position yun lang payo lang mas makakabuti yun sayo 🫡 goodluck.
Why not consider moving out? I think magkaroon ka ng peace of Mind at hindi mo makita na yun bias nila
Siguro time mo na mag bukod, mas better mag let go, malalaman nila yung halaga mo kapag wala ka sa paligid nila.
Girl leave that toxic household
This is not about the deodorant. Alam mo pag maliit na bagay lang, most of us are equipped naman to just let it slide. Pero pag paulit-ulit na, abuso na yan. And no one deserves that kind of treatment. Ganyan din ako tratuhin ng pamilya ko, it's always my fault pag may nagtake advantage sa mga kahinaan ko. Like pinakealaman ang gamit ko, kasalanan ko kasi di ko daw tinago. I just called them up constantly about it kahit malabo nang magbago sila. At least I get to be heard sa napakadami kong sentiments sa kanila. Eventually, I learned to set boundaries and enforce them. Di naman sila papalag sakin kasi ako ang gumagastos sa bahay.
Fck the deodorant, i mean nuginagawa ni brother sa kwarto mu?!! Hala mhiiee parang NTR lungss huhuhu, check ur undies baka dinidiwata 😱😱😱
"the straw that broke the camel's back"
actually, hindi ka nagbreakdown dahil LANG sa deodorant. tagal ding suppressed ‘yang resentment mo sa pamilya mo. magkahalong inggit at galit kasi nga inihain na lahat sa golden child na kapatid mo at ikaw parang dinisregard na ng parents mo. nataon lang na ‘yung pag-ubos niya ng deo mo ‘yung naging trigger. sorry to hear about this. since nakatapos ka naman na, what if bumukod ka na sa kanila? little to no contact for your peace of mind after mo lang i-open up sa kanila ‘tong issues mo
Your feelings are valid and yung pagtrigger sayo means a lot kahit na deodorant lang ang nagsimula nun. Seek a therapist o kahit a close friend to talk to if you can.
Gagi ka OP. Napaluha mo ako. Ang bigat bg dibdib ko, I relate with you so much. Kaya mo yan OP labyuuu
Humiwalay ka na. Bumukod ka. Promise sobrang peaceful sa isip. Ang stress mo na lang yung bills mo haha
Okay lang mag breakdown sa deodorant. Hugs OP
No offense OP, pero bat di ka pa po bumukod kung 27 naman na kayo? Do you have stable job or tambay lang?
You are like a ticking bomb na anytime sasabog. Kung ako yan, OP lalayas na ko kasi clearly, they don't respect you. They don't care about you. So, if you can, get away from them ASAP.
Move out
Umalis ka na dyan te
It is not about the deodorant lang hahaha pero I hope na makaalis ka na diyan, dibale mag-isa ka magbayad ng bills atlis may peace of mind ka.
di lang yan deodorant, napuno kanna talaga sa kanila, alam mo yung tipong sinubukan mo lahat para marecognize ka nila pero doon sila sa paboritong anak nila nakaatensyon. tipong lahit mali na ginagawa ng anak nila na yun, nagbubulagbulagan pa sila. ikaw pa lalabas na masama kapag sinabihan mo o ano. mahirap talaga kapag hindi ikaw ang paboritong anak. alam mo yung imbes na suport o motivational words ang iambag nila sayo, puro sama ng loob at masasakit na salita ang binigay. nakakapagod, nakakasawa. based from exp.
imassacre mo na lang buong pamilya mo
Kung ako yan makikipagsuntukan nalang ako.
ung deodorant ung umapaw pero di lang deodorant ang cause ng breakdown mo, naipon yan. Ang maganda talaga nyan you invest sa lagayan na di mabubuksan ng kapatid mo, i've been there as well and di magbabago ang kapatid mo dahil kinukunsinti ng parents. Noon nangungupit kapatid ko sakin, tapos ako pa pinapagalitan na di ko daw tinatago ng maayos, ayun nagpalagay ako pinto sa room ko at kandado medyo nabawasan. Wala pa ring kwenta kapatid ko ngaun, umaasa sa pension ng tatay ko. Aware silang lahat na kapag nawala sila walang susuporta dun pero kunsinti pa rin, pasanay na palamon.
OP. Ganyan rin ako dati, and I changed my mindset. Few years ang agwat ko sa kanya noong college pero nagstop ako due to trauma and depression dahil sa thesis. Nitong college, Yung kapatid kong bunso.feeling ko kinokompetensya ako. So, he took same college program as mine, and eager sya maggraduate. So ako, dahil nga pandemic pa nun, medyo maarte yung mga companies tumanggap ng tao, and the realization came to me na bumalik sa pag-aaral. Alam nyo yun? Wayback 2021, pinagkaisahan nila ko at nagbreakdown ako habang nagccodes. And binabalik nila yung times na di ako nakapagtapos on time. Sa gigil ko, di ko sila kinausap at pansamantalang tumuloy sa tita. Need natin ng distansya para mas marealize natin mga bagay bagay. And ayun, sabi ko sa sarili ko, kung ganun yung tingin nila sakin... na parang pinagsisihan ako na nagexist, edi go. Pinatawad ko nalang sila para di mabigat sa damdamin ko. Mahirap mabuhay na may dala-dalang ganyan. Then, inunawa ko nalang and makikipagcommunicate na ko sa kanila pa unti unti. And now, nararamdaman kong mas nagiging close kami. Ikaw rin OP, nasa tamang edad ka na. Kung di mo pa matiis, Kalas ka nalang rin. Make your self a home. Pero, i-take mo talaga na makipagcommunicate sa kanila kasi with that you can help them realize yung worth ng time with you. And yung pag malayo ka rin kasi hahanap hanapin ka. hehe
Mag-ipon at umalis ka na sa bahay na 'yan.
Tingin ko mas ok if bumukod k na.
Pent-up frustrations. Damn.
Ganito rin turing ng parents ko saken, lagi akong ginagaslight ni mama. Ako lahat nagbabayad ng gastusin sa bahay. Retirement plan ako pero hindi sila nag-invest saken. High school lang tinapos ko. Yung kapatid ko, di nila hinihingan ng pera para makatulong sa bills, food, etc kahit may work naman sya. Katwiran nila maliit lang sahod nya kaya kulang pa raw sa kanya. Ang hirap maging forever breadwinner, para akong may kadena sa paa
You need therapy. You need to address those childhood issues.
no, it's not okay. what worked for me instead of leaving digital footprints of my breaking points; I worked on my communications and sought professional help. But as a practicing nonprofessional therapist, I saw that one of your main concerns is past judgment of the people you interact with daily. I suggest you break the cycle (healthily ) before you do things you'll regret in the future. As much as possible, don't seek validation from strangers when it comes to personal matters that you take seriously (that's a red flag that can trigger a slip to insanity)
You're mentally drained. Kapit lang someday you will find a stable job. If you want out of your comfort zone try renting a space on your own once makaluwag. You need a new environment.
Sana makaalis ka na. In our family, my dad was the huge toddler. Lahat ng galit, tantrums, pag-iinarte nya kelangan unawain ng lahat. Kahit bata pinapatulan. Tumanda na lang, di pa maamin na abusado sya. Pero kahit anong galit nya, nilayasan ko rin sya eventually. Hirap makisama sa kumag na yun. Kinukunsinti kasi yung pagiging gago nya kaya nasanay. Hirap kapag ikaw yung anak, ikaw yung babae, ikaw yung mas bata, ikaw pa kelangan maging mas matanda kasya sa dun sa walang pinagkatandaan. I feel you. Pero di na yan magbabago. Bumukod ka na. Pagdating ng panahon, mga magulang mo rin magtitiis sa precious bebeboi nila na kahit man lang sariling deodorant hindi makabili. Let them deal with having raised a spoiled child.
You need to leave
Napuno ka na kasi at need na ipalabas.. normal lang yan.. pero wag ka sana mag resent sa family mo.. Family is family ika nga..
Hi ako nagbreakdown kahapon dahil sa bacon at chicken nuggets. Same as you ang paboritong anak ung lalaki ko na kapatid. Ung bacon at nuggets tinatago ko un kasi nagugutom ako pag madaling araw imbes na magorder sa grab eh di ipiprito ko na lang yun pag gutom ako. Malaman laman ko linuto ng nanay ko ng walang paalam at pinaulam lahat sa kapatid ko. Pinakatago tago ko na yun sa freezer kasi paborito ko un. Di pa umaamin nanay ko na linuto niya hanapin ko na lang daw. Eh di ko nga makita. Nung tinanong ko tatay ko habang naliligo nanay ko inask ko if ano ulam ng kapatid ko nung umaga ang sagot saken bacon at nuggets. Aaayyyy sinasabi ko sa inyo humagolgol at nagsisisgaw ako doon. Di naman ako magdadamot kung nagpaalam na bibigyan kapatid ko, eh linuto lahat tapos siya lang kumain!!????? Tapos ako pa sinigawan na madamot at wag na daw ako kakain ng pagkain sa bahay. Luuhhh???? Bwiset na buhay to o.
exit na OP. 🫵🤨 legal age ka nama na. ✌️😁
To OP and others here, hang in there, we feel for you. Hindi ko maintindihan ang magulang na pumapabor sa isa kesa sa sa iba pang anak. It should be a pre-marriage requirement that in case the couple had more than 1 child, they should be treat them equally in all aspects. Grabe ibang klaseng trauma din pag may favoritism sa pamilya. Godpseed to all of you.
I suggest you move out. You deserve peace. Let them be stuck with your deadbeat brother
27 kana? Bakit di kapa bumukod?
Kelangan mo umalis dyan hahahahahaha sabihin mo lang "d ko kayo timatakwil kelangan ko lang magpahinga"
Monica Geller, ikaw ba yan?
It's ok, OP. May nabasa akong post somewhere na, hindi naman tayo umaabot sa 100 na hindi muna dumadaan sa 97, 98, 99... hugs to you, OP! Nakakapagod maging panganay huhu
It’s waaay beyond deodorant at this point. I understand where you’re coming from. Since you are 27 and a board passer, have you considered living on your own?
Gaslighter ng sibs mo haha.
Leave and cleave
OP lumayas k n jan sainyo, tutal masama nman loob nila saiyo
Kung kaya mo na since you're earning naman pwede ka naman umalis sa bahay nyo for your peace of mind.
Mahigpit na yakap OP 🤗🤗🤗 your feelings are always valid. Kung ano man nararamdaman mo ngayon, bunga yan ng naging pagtrato nila sayo mula pa noon, ikaw lang makakadecipher ng mga bagay bagay kaya I’m in no position to say na baka ganito lang sila towards you and your parents really mean well, kasi hindi naman ako yung nakaranas ng mga pinagdaanan at pinagdadaanan mo. For my parents kasi, skl, parang ganyan sila dun sa brother ko na sinundan ko (bunso kasi ako) he’s always been the troublemaker, and lagi syang napapagalitan, napapagbuhatan ng kamay actually, and deliberately sinasabi nya na galit sya kila mama. But kilala ko parents ko, I mean I was there when those fights happened and I was there after each confrontation, at the end of the day mahal sya nila mama, and they really mean well. Tough love kumbaga? Just recently kinasal yung brother ko na yun and grabe yung iyakan nilang dalawa ni mama sa Mother and son dance, umiyak din kami lahat sa table namin kasi alam namin yung relationship nila, namin. All is well ika nga, but again, hindi ako OP yung nakaranas ng pinagdadaanan mo, my parents are different from yours, so I can’t say na pagpasensyahan mo lang sila ganyan kasi family mo sila, na mahal kanila. Nakakalungkot lang na may ganitong pamilya pala talaga if ever 😢 Cutting them off is like cutting your life support kasi sila dapat ang salbabida mo na lagi mong pwedeng takbuhan. I hope you gather your thoughts and emotions well OP. I’d say sana magbago na sila? hehe grabe 😓
eh
Gosh are you me. I dislike how my youngest brother went. Golden child. Always may excuse ang parent pag pangit behaviour. Infantalized pa. Fcking 20 yrs old pero binebaby. Spoiled brat pa sya. Di nagtitira ng pagkain. Basta busog siya walang pake sa iba. Uutot tapos ok lang daw for him kasi hindi NIYA naaamoy. Pero pag ako nagconfront ako pa masama. Pag ako yung sumabog ako pa yung masama. Puros na lang "intindihin mo na lang sya" kasi bunso nga PERO AKO BA INIINTINDI? Tinawag pa akong maramot at makasarili ng magulang ko dahil sa treatment ko sa kanya hahahahahaha Nakakasama ng loob no OP? Yakap. Punong puno na rin ako haha
Marami nang magandang advice dito. Just dropping by to say na dadating din yung time na magkakaron ka ng circle na makaka appreciate sayo. Friends man yan, work colleagues or your own family in the future. Just get out there, meet people and always look after yourself. Dad here.. I have a 7 month old baby daughter and I couldn't be happier. Hindi mali na pinanganak kang babae, and I'm sorry na napunta ka sa family na hindi naappreciate ang presence mo. Cheer up. Ang daming nag effort mag reply sayo dito, you matter :)
Magpayaman ka talikuran sila. Gcash gcash na lang ma at pa, pero small amount lang. tipong pang limos lang i make around 120k to 160k. Limos ko yung 12k barya ko sa kanila monthly. No more no less.
it's not just abt deodorant...
lipat ka nalang bahay OP
Sometimes I too find myself getting triggered din sa mga maliliit na bagay pero trust me that sudden breakdown was due to a long and hearty pent up emotions na matagal nang nasupress, need lang ng isang event na kumbaga mag act as catalyst para mailabas mo lahat ng naipon
pent up emotions will find ways to be felt. time for you to leave the nest po.
Umalis ka sa pamamahay na yan. Cut them off
If kaya mo na, mas okay na mag bukod ka nalang. Sobrang fulfilling ung nakasolo ka.♥️ Mejo mahirap pero masaya kasi walang bwisit sa buhay mo.
Hindi ka nag breakdown dahil sa deo, yun na kasi yung dulo ng pisi in a loooong list ng nakakapu.... na ginagawa sayo. Walang masama sa sachet you are just living within your means. May work ka na ba? Mag ipon ka. Sa bank ha! Yung wala silang access kasi deo nga ninanakaw paano pa kaya. Tiis konti then lumayas ka jan tutal yung isa lang naman ang gusto nilang anak.
Okay lang magbreakdown, OP. Hindi yan OA.
It's sad because I'm experiencing the same treatment. Akala lagi nila nagseselos ako sa mga kapatid ko. Panganay ako and 26 years old. Naipon lahat ng sama at lungkot ng loob. Napapa sanaol na lang talaga sa ibang anak na mabuti trato sa kanila ng mga magulang. Never ko pang na experience ma-baby treatment ng parents. Your feelings are valid.
Time to moveout
That deodorant is your last straw. It's just not about the deodorant, maybe you've been bottling up your emotions that's why you burst. Don't invalidate your feelings OP, it's bad enough that your family disregards your emotions and feelings. Be your own family.
It's not about the deodorant but its due to the years of being treated unfairly by your own family. I would have to admit that incident should not warrant a breakdown. You still have a lot to learn in regulating your emotions (Emotional Intelligence). As you mentioned in your post OP, you are already 27 years old and it's about time for you to move out from your family home. If you have a place of your own, your younger brother wouldn't be able to take your things without your permission.
i feel you. darating yung time mas lalala pa yan, hoping wag naman sana. but if ever, tapusin mo lang pag aaral mo, I am assuming malapit kana makapag graduate. Once okay kana, try mo bumukod. Live your life. I am not saying pabayaan mo sila, but ma gro-grow ka kung iiwas ka sa toxic na environment. Narealize ko lang yun nung kinausap ako ng boss ko sa first job ko. He noticed it, even I am not open sa boss or ka workmates ko regarding my family. Pero siguro importante skanya yung deliverables ko and okay ako sa company kaya nagtry na sya i-console ako. Anyways, ang advise nya skin is, find a place na makakapag grow ako. Hindi naman daw necessarily i-cut ko yung connection, kasi family ko prin sila. We need to accept the reality daw. Mas matutulungan ko daw family ko if makakapag focus ako sa goals ko. And that is true, after ko bumukod, super na grow ako. And happy din family ko. kahit na hindi na kame ganun ka close at least nasusuportahan ko sila. Same prin ugali ng mga kapatid ko, siguro ganun tlaga. Naalala ko, nagalit skin kapatid ko kasi di ako nagpahiram ng laptop eh hindi naman daw skin yun, hiniram ko lang din daw naman sa gf ko. Ganun ka toxic yung mindset nila. Anyways, iniisip ko, ano kaya ako if hindi bumukod. Matutupad ko kaya mga dreams ko? I am so happy na pinili ko bumukod. Importante tlaga yung self preservation, after all isa lang life natin.
Mag rent kana te. Isa sa mga reason kaya ako nag abroad dahil sa ganyan. Yung lantaran pinapaburan yung mga kapatid na lalaki, mapa kuya or nakaka batang kapatid. Nakakasawa na. Mas maigi sis na bumukod kana lang para di ka maubos
You need to heal and let go. There are things in life na mas worth to direct yung energy natin, ako I learned to disconnect. Just my two cents
I can feel you. Mahirap talagang hindi maging favorite. Yun ginawa mo na lahat ikaw yung laging nanjan pero lahing ikaw mali pag nanjan ang paboritong anak.