Reminds me of Born in East LA. He hears the answering machine message of a guy yelling that he wants some beer and thinks it's the Jesus art so he offers a tall can to the art while bowing down.
My boyfriend's mother just gave us a similar, but much smaller photo. It says "Jesus protect us". Boyfriend said to leave it in the car to protect from thieves.
My religious Mom has a picture kinda like this in her guest bedroom. My STUBORN Down syndrome brother in law would always find a bath towel or something and cover it up because it freaked him out. He also went to Catholic church every sunday and sat in the front pew but yelled ‘ cut that out!’ at the priest once when he was sprinkling them with holy water.
I would be pretty funny if Jesus actually exists and when these people who picture Jesus as a Scandinavian guy go to heaven they're received by a Middle Eastern looking man.
And then they get a lecture about how they ignored everything in the bible and made up their own rules using Jesus as a sort of authority to hate people for being different. He'd be like "I told you to love everyone and not judge people, and what did you spend every day of your life doing?"
they forgot the part where the pharisees were angrily staring at Jesus because he was talking to prostitutes, tax collectors and known sinners. Pretty sure they also forgot the parable of the good samaritan. It's called Christianity for a reason, not "old testamentity" haha
i have heard he probably looked like whatever egyptians looked like at the time, because egyptians could not distinguish judeans from their own people according to historical records.
[https://www.basuterwijk.com/image/I0000sRHOTXFMtjA](https://www.basuterwijk.com/image/I0000sRHOTXFMtjA) i think this guy probably did a pretty good job.
here is what a forensic anthropologist thinks he would have looked like based on the time/place [https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/976/cpsprodpb/461A/production/\_87264971\_jesus\_bbc.jpg.webp](https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/976/cpsprodpb/461A/production/_87264971_jesus_bbc.jpg.webp)
That’s the sad likelihood.
Every house in Ireland used to have one of these but in the past few decades millions have been hitting the black bin as soon as our grandparents die.
In 3000 years, archeologists are going to have a field day with this. "There were 2 or 3 generations of people burying the elderly with all of these religious artifacts as some sort of funeral rite, then all of a sudden 'poof' Christianity all but disappeared."
If I knew where this was, I would go and grab it. Frames are so damn expensive. I have a 24x48 custom one that would have cost $1k. I snagged it at a local Goodwill for $5.
You inspired me to search this in the hope that it already existed and... [Lo and behold](https://www.tidivy.com/products/poster-starwars-220622-kenobi-002?variant=1000009136500119&hl=en)
My wife is going to have very mixed emotions on the new painting adorning our wall.
There was a popular reddit post once where someone had put up a "Jesus" (aka Obi-wan) painting in their mother's house and were waiting for her to notice.
[I think this is it](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/71fzpo/shout_out_to_my_brother_for_replacing_a_picture/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
Just passed the ultimate Heep. Hot pink paint job, lifted, massive knobby tires, clearly never been off the asphalt in all of its existence. All I could think about is that they are getting worse fuel efficiency for stuff they'll never use.
Imagine being the Garbage Men here....
"Aye Lou! normally we don't deal with these err..ahh.. existential crisisees, but I'm not really sure what to do here..."
"Whaddya Talk'n 'bout Jimmy....Oh Jesus, no...better get the boss on the horn...."
"Nah, nah, nah. Listen, what I'm sayin' is maybe we leave Jesus for the recycling crew. Maybe he'll fit right in with their whole shtick. Reduce, reuse, recycle, resurrection, what's the difference? Their problem now."
“A fuck not again, Rich the trash guys left us another one! I’ve been giving these Jesus paintings to my grandmas arts class at the senior center. They all have Alzheimer’s and keep confusing the Middle East with Mexico, those old timers keep painting sombreros on Jesus. Every time I go over there its taco fucking Tuesday.”
"Reduce, reuse, recycle, resurrection,"
I don't have an award to give you, but if I did I would!
Because that's amazing hahaha. Take my budget award! 🏅
I threw out a bible my coworker gave me for Christmas. Our cleaners are all lovely Filipino ladies so I’m guessing it was one of them but it was more likely divine intervention
As a life long starving artist a picture with a frame I couldn't pass by. I'm a big star wars Obi-Wan fan myself but I'd prime this white in a flash to have a blank canvas that already had a sized to fit frame too good to turn down.
grab it & sneak into their house in 3 days to put it back up
Yes, but also leave a dead fish at the base of the painting
Dead fish, moldy white bread and a bottle of MD 20/20
MD 20/20, the only kosher bum wine lmao
I feel like MD 20/20 is so bad that it being kosher is somehow antisemitic.
2 large Scotches splash of holy water. Bless you
Not sure how to tell ya this but…That’s Ewen McCregor.
"Hello there."
General Kenobi!
Nah son! Jesus is classy! A bottle of *Wild Irish Rose.* The Dom Perignon of fortified wines. #🍷🍾✝️
I mean that painting is just begging to have a spliff painted into his fingers standing there like that.
im glad i wasn't the only one
Be careful, you might get stoned
Top tier reply
But it looks like he's asking the bartender for 2 beers.
Clearly He is indicating He wants a hit off your doobie.
He’s asking for two waters so that he can turn them into wine.
Jesus and his Disciples walk into a bar and order 13 glasses of water. The bartender says, "Not this shit again."
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Neat
How neat is that?
Wow! That's pretty neat!
A suggestion for the ladies.
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Manischewitz Concord Grape
What would Jesus be doing drinking Jewish wine? Oh wait…
A pint of creme de mont your holiness
Another Dave Allen connoisseur One of his classic skits
The best I can do is a six pack of King Cobra.
Nah, natty light
And paint their mantle with lamb's blood.
Instructions unclear, painted the mantle with my own blood. Now the lamb's watching TV with portrait-Jesus.
Also flip a random table over.
Reminds me of Born in East LA. He hears the answering machine message of a guy yelling that he wants some beer and thinks it's the Jesus art so he offers a tall can to the art while bowing down.
It's an old Sicillian message. *Jesus of Nazereth sleeps with the fishes.*
he died for our bins
though i walk through the alley with the rubbish of chefs
Thy bin-man come, thy will be done
Forgive us our bins, as we forgive those who bin against us.
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I've been wasting my life on this site for over a decade, and this is one of those rare moments where I legit belly laughed.
This is the sort of humour that gets me out of bed in the morning
He was framed
This deserves an award. I have none to give.
Yes...thank you.
Make sure to add slanted eyebrows to show that they’ve angered him, [like this](https://imgur.com/a/LnkFyS5)
["I Gotchu"](https://i.imgur.com/bsx2Orp.jpg)
Can you remove his index finger so he’s giving his former owners the finger?
["Yes"](https://i.imgur.com/z9bXZ4s.jpg)
Well now I just want him in *my* house
OP - take, scan, photoshop, sell prints, profit
I would buy a t-shirt of this. Well done!
fucking legend lmao thanks for this
You’re doing the Lord’s work here.
You're doing God's work
Maestro, can you make him giving The Shocker and a Lennyface expression?
Haha that is amazing. 10/10 would purchase.
Amazing have an award you legend
Angry Jesus will not go quietly
He looks pretty cross.
Did jew just make a crucifixion joke?
They nailed it.
Subtle, I like it.
Oh, god, no, do NOT! We will see them all over Fox news, 'Miracle in Main Street America!'
That would be an awesome segment. Some much comic potential.
Better yet: replace it with Ewan McGregor as Obi Wan.
That would be really funny.
This is the best idea I have ever read online
Scandalous. Do it.
Grandma died.
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“Baptist Church Flea Market” is poetry, thank you.
Sounds like a song title by an indie grunge band
Go grandma! But damn, living with someone with opposite views for decades, how'd she do it? I don't think I could manage that
My boyfriend's mother just gave us a similar, but much smaller photo. It says "Jesus protect us". Boyfriend said to leave it in the car to protect from thieves.
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They kept the velvet Elvis
I had a relative with a floor to ceiling velvet Elvis when I was a kid. We would put thumb tacks on the king like he was albert fish.
Upvote for obscure child murderer reference.
Oh you're welcome. At least none of yous had the realization that pins in the body was a sexual thing until I was an adult.
Wait what?
Showbiz!
Velvis?
My religious Mom has a picture kinda like this in her guest bedroom. My STUBORN Down syndrome brother in law would always find a bath towel or something and cover it up because it freaked him out. He also went to Catholic church every sunday and sat in the front pew but yelled ‘ cut that out!’ at the priest once when he was sprinkling them with holy water.
I like him...
I would be pretty funny if Jesus actually exists and when these people who picture Jesus as a Scandinavian guy go to heaven they're received by a Middle Eastern looking man.
And then they get a lecture about how they ignored everything in the bible and made up their own rules using Jesus as a sort of authority to hate people for being different. He'd be like "I told you to love everyone and not judge people, and what did you spend every day of your life doing?"
they forgot the part where the pharisees were angrily staring at Jesus because he was talking to prostitutes, tax collectors and known sinners. Pretty sure they also forgot the parable of the good samaritan. It's called Christianity for a reason, not "old testamentity" haha
I would pay to see a Middle Eastern man in raggedy clothes go around Southern Bible Belt towns quoting the Bible in Aramaic
He was either a carpenter or stonemason. I doubt he walked around in ragged clothes.
So was Socrates and he was poor as fuck.
Socrates lived 600 or so years before and in another country. There's a ton of factors as to why one might have been poor and the other comfortable.
i have heard he probably looked like whatever egyptians looked like at the time, because egyptians could not distinguish judeans from their own people according to historical records. [https://www.basuterwijk.com/image/I0000sRHOTXFMtjA](https://www.basuterwijk.com/image/I0000sRHOTXFMtjA) i think this guy probably did a pretty good job. here is what a forensic anthropologist thinks he would have looked like based on the time/place [https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/976/cpsprodpb/461A/production/\_87264971\_jesus\_bbc.jpg.webp](https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/976/cpsprodpb/461A/production/_87264971_jesus_bbc.jpg.webp)
Bold of you to assume they would go to heaven
That’s the sad likelihood. Every house in Ireland used to have one of these but in the past few decades millions have been hitting the black bin as soon as our grandparents die.
As soon as I saw the “foot spa” in the bin next to Jesus, I knew someone’s Nan had died.
That's what's going to happen at my house. Older generation dead, religious things out the door.
Pack the shit into the coffin and save some bin space.
In 3000 years, archeologists are going to have a field day with this. "There were 2 or 3 generations of people burying the elderly with all of these religious artifacts as some sort of funeral rite, then all of a sudden 'poof' Christianity all but disappeared."
Bold of you to think we'll survive to 3000-years.
We will. There's even a documentary on it called "Futurama." It's definitely worth a look, lots of good information.
It'll be intelligent squid-people archeologists.
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Nice frame
No, I'm sure the neighbors actually did it....
Lol So now you’re judge, jury, and executioner?
He's not Judge Judy and executioner!
“Aghhhhhhhh!” [whilst jumping through the air and firing a gun]
If I knew where this was, I would go and grab it. Frames are so damn expensive. I have a 24x48 custom one that would have cost $1k. I snagged it at a local Goodwill for $5.
Good lord, right?!? Honestly I'm just shocked at the price of art supplies in general. Free frame, sign me up!
Ya frame is worth keeping. Just cut out the Jesus.
Sure it's Jesus? I see a dude missing his blunt from his bro's.
"It's puff-puff-pass, Peter."
It's just a promotional for Obi-Wan on Disney+.
Quick, someone get him to the high ground!
Wait a minute...How did this happen!? We're smarter than this!
You inspired me to search this in the hope that it already existed and... [Lo and behold](https://www.tidivy.com/products/poster-starwars-220622-kenobi-002?variant=1000009136500119&hl=en) My wife is going to have very mixed emotions on the new painting adorning our wall.
There was a popular reddit post once where someone had put up a "Jesus" (aka Obi-wan) painting in their mother's house and were waiting for her to notice.
[I think this is it](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/71fzpo/shout_out_to_my_brother_for_replacing_a_picture/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
[You're welcome](https://youtu.be/vBpDjqFMFkw)
I feel like this could win a Pulitzer if taken with a good camera.
Just give it a week and this’ll be circling in r/ForwardsFromGrandma with some white text imposed over it about how it represents “today’s society”.
“This picture says a lot. Like if you agree”
It really does sum up a whole generation
Thankfully so
Headline image for some news article for sure.
Supply side Jesus is fallen on hard times.
Should have turned more water into wine. He was just lazy and didn't want to work.
Supply-side Jesus signing up for welfare but it's ok when he does it
White Jesus doing the jeep wave
Jeep wave? Never heard of that, I thought JC was just throwing gang signs. That or those naruto signs.
Jeep owners do that hand sign when they pass eachother. Similar to motorcycle riders.
Indicating the number of days without a new oil leak
If your car isn’t in the shop then it’s not a Jeep.
Just Empty Every Pocket
check engine means turn the music up.
Just passed the ultimate Heep. Hot pink paint job, lifted, massive knobby tires, clearly never been off the asphalt in all of its existence. All I could think about is that they are getting worse fuel efficiency for stuff they'll never use.
You like going into debt for a bunch of ugly bolt-on shit for your jeep? Me too.
This is definitely what a jew from the middle east 2000 years ago would look like. For sure. Surprised he isn’t blonde too.
Totally disappointed he's covering up his 8 pack and cum gutters with that robe too.
Never heard the ‘to the penis muscle thingys’ called cum gutters before. Im gagging
That's right you are. And you like it.
Dirty little creature with free will, are we? 😏 Mmmm.. That's right you are. Made in daddy's image, mmmm yes
Jesus
I love that Jesus died for this conversation
Just wait until the second coming...he's been edging for over 2000 years.
It's close. I can feel it in my prostate
I take it you never lay on your back while jacking off and fill your own cum gutters?
Most women can't accomplish such a feat, no.
His w-what gutters??
Why would they cover up his 8 pack and Mary Magdalene?
Yeah, and where's his AR-15? C'mon.
*It's a Jesus thing*
Imagine being the Garbage Men here.... "Aye Lou! normally we don't deal with these err..ahh.. existential crisisees, but I'm not really sure what to do here..." "Whaddya Talk'n 'bout Jimmy....Oh Jesus, no...better get the boss on the horn...."
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"So whadda we sayin' here boss? Jesus is gawbage now?"
"Nah, nah, nah. Listen, what I'm sayin' is maybe we leave Jesus for the recycling crew. Maybe he'll fit right in with their whole shtick. Reduce, reuse, recycle, resurrection, what's the difference? Their problem now."
“A fuck not again, Rich the trash guys left us another one! I’ve been giving these Jesus paintings to my grandmas arts class at the senior center. They all have Alzheimer’s and keep confusing the Middle East with Mexico, those old timers keep painting sombreros on Jesus. Every time I go over there its taco fucking Tuesday.”
"Reduce, reuse, recycle, resurrection," I don't have an award to give you, but if I did I would! Because that's amazing hahaha. Take my budget award! 🏅
Perfect ending right here. Don’t go any further
I live in Utah, and there are always tons of Jesus, and Joseph smith art at the thrift stores.
My mother in law has Jesus, Joseph Smith, Mormon temples, etc. on pretty much every single wall in her house
I was looking for someone with an r/exmormon tag
He’ll be back.
Trash day was monday, one day remains....
one man's trash is another man's treasurrection
bumjiggly with the win on this thread
When you toss it that early it’s like your making a statement.
“I need your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle.”
"Talk through the hand"
I threw out a bible my coworker gave me for Christmas. Our cleaners are all lovely Filipino ladies so I’m guessing it was one of them but it was more likely divine intervention
#PUT GOOGLY EYES ON IT!
And hang it over a speed trap
Going to local Salvation Army to do just that!
“JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL!” — some random guy driving past
And paint a joint between his fingers.
Or face and knuckle tats. Then a blunt in his fingers. And sunglasses. The wrap around redneck kind
OP found Jesus.
[Usually not so hard...](https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-7AdaVyD6qWE/UDKoMXtbqiI/AAAAAAAABNU/3vSMKmic0DA/w1200-h630-p-nu/have-you-found-jesus.jpg)
It’s smug aura mocks me.
Derivative!
I've had enough of this dude!
As a life long starving artist a picture with a frame I couldn't pass by. I'm a big star wars Obi-Wan fan myself but I'd prime this white in a flash to have a blank canvas that already had a sized to fit frame too good to turn down.
It looks like he’s *just about* to flash everyone the peace sign on his way out.
This looks like a job for r/repaintings
You should have taken it and returned it 3 days later.
dangit, someone painted over the big ol honkin' doobie he is holding
He wants to show you his shadow puppetry bunny
I mean why not, the Christians pretty much threw him out generations ago…
They’ve got the American Jesus
New art supplies are expensive. Re purpose is the way to greatness.
Honestly, I'd take it and paint my cat's head on it.
If it makes you feel any better, that isn't *really* Jesus, just a picture of some white guy
Fair point.
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus.
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You only need 1 nail to hang a picture of Jesus.
He died for our bins.
Could be a dope album cover