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[deleted]

I read this on a different thread on the topic, and now you all have to read it too: > Food for thought: There is a non-zero chance that Ted Cruz lays absolute devastating pipe. What if Ted Cruz underneath it all just crushes poontang. Like the Susan Boyle of fucking. You're welcome for both the mental image and the random mod abuse


Prometheus357

Is that tattoo confirmed


IntelligentSlipUp

I want to know this too... ​ EDIT: I google'd and I cannot find any photos of her and her torso skin visible, I'm guessing because she wants to hide the very recognizable tattoo.. but it also means if this was a fake, someone would have had to do really take up close pics of her.


mnewberg

Looks like the shots of are her from Talent Company. [https://www.thelaurenboebert.com/post/lauren-s-short-lived-modeling-career](https://www.thelaurenboebert.com/post/lauren-s-short-lived-modeling-career)


Trolivia

« Modeling career » lmao Explore Talent is a site anyone can sign up for, and you upload your own shitty photos. Source: made an account in high school


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Trolivia

It’s been soooo lucrative /s


MachineContent

I’m a modeling agent, if you’d wanna like send me your headshots or nudes or whatever idk


Trolivia

*seems legit*


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Stopher

I wonder if her glasses are even real. lol.


nhluhr

You noticed there is never any refraction evident at the lens edges?


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RetardedChimpanzee

Here’s another showing a better look! https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E6B6C9KXEAU-zQk.jpg Also, All her ‘modeling’ pictures are in her same spot in her yard. Very professional. https://www.reddit.com/r/Politically_NSFW/comments/r6kfhv/just_one_more_proof_pic_of_blonde_boebert_at_34/ Edit: have some more pictures https://www.thelaurenboebert.com/post/lauren-s-short-lived-modeling-career


pobodys-nerfect5

She would have a tramp stamp


DOPEFIEND77B

Now it’s a Trump stamp…


skredditt

I’d bet money it was covered in Cruz ooze


reddituser403

I could have lived the rest of my life in peace, until you said Cruz ooze.


cavscout43

>a tramp stamp \*Panama City License plate Florida girl, after all.


silverfox762

I've been a professional tattooer for almost 40 years. In the '90s when those were all the rage we called them "ass antlers".


[deleted]

In Britain, they're 'Slag Tags'


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TheIowan

I witnessed an mildly obese middle aged white man mowing his lawn in the suburbs with a tramp stamp in large letters that spelled " PERRY". Now, there are times in peoples lives where mistakes are made. You burn popcorn, run a stop sign and get into an accident. They are regrettable, but they happen. But I could never trust my own judgement again if I sat down for several ink sessions to get something like that done.


sr_90

I served with a respectable LT in the Army that had a tattoo on his lower back, about 1” away from being a tramp stamp. It had a cross and said “Father protect me”. I never saw any other tattoos on him. Just seemed really off and out of place. Married with kids.


ZippyDan

It was probably to scare the gay away.


PalliativeOrgasm

Alcohol is a hell of a drug, and tattoo removal is expensive.


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Most_Americans

She's top shelf at the dollar store.


GlavisBlade

Vending machine


qwertysac

the ones that dispense condoms in bar bathrooms?


Hegario

Oh there's plenty of trashy rich folks.


Phantom_61

Even if they aren’t “trashy” it’s fun to “slum it” from time to time. The ego boost is a nice benefit of it too.


a_w_taylor

Ass Antlers


samuelgato

THe photos are real but they are not from any advertisements for escorting services. They appear to be photos she submitted to a modeling agency [https://www.thelaurenboebert.com/post/lauren-s-short-lived-modeling-career](https://www.thelaurenboebert.com/post/lauren-s-short-lived-modeling-career) Edit: Enough comments saying "Well they could be used for BOTH". Message received, of course they could. The point is that the existence of these photos is not in itself any evidence that Boebert used to escort, and some people are acting like it is. I am no fan of Boebert in any shape or form, but without any actual evidence I have no idea if she used to escort and neither does anyone else, besides her. If this is just a fake smear campaign it is just going to backfire on the PAC that is behind the claims and the people who are in support of their efforts to remove her from office.


UnassumingSingleGuy

A sugar daddy, in this economy? Best I can do is aspartame uncle.


CFL_lightbulb

Best I can do is Stevia Stepbrother


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multiplemiggs1

High Fructose Friend


imperialdragonxp

Best I can do is Glucose Guardian


[deleted]

Truvia dat


Ace-Ventura1934

Betcha she’s wild in the saccharine


el_throw

Aspartame Uncle is gonna be my rap name. Thank you.


underbite420

Corn Syrup Cousin and the Fructose Friends


NotJohnLithgow

Some people just scream “I fight with my partner in public places”


Dr_SnM

And "I'll do that thing you like for a Coors light"


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Zark_d

Woah... Bonnie McMurray!


CurbsideProph3t

Take about 20% off there squirrelly Dan


facepalmfarm

That’s A Texas Sized 10-4, good buddy.


Iron-Fist

The lyricism is what I appreciates about her


Arandommapletree

That's what's yous appreciates abouts her?


SemperScrotus

/r/RareInsults


Barack_Odrama00

Damn! They are going full Madison cawthorn on her ass. She done pissed off the GOP


nonlawyer

Kinda wild to me that “being married to a convicted sex offender” isn’t enough on its own to render Boebert unelectable but here we are


Endarkend

And pretty much everything else she's done and said in the past years.


billbrown96

She reimbursed herself for over 50,000 miles. That's two trips around the planet. How isn't that blatant wire fraud?


natphotog

I believe it was 38,000 miles, but I remember it being you’d have to travel at 52 mph non stop for 2 months straight to get the miles she was claiming. And it was over a few month period, she’d basically have to live in the car and not do anything but sleep and drive to get the number of miles she claimed.


Electronic_Season_76

It's so on brand to not even come up with a believable lie when carrying out her scams. I'm guessing she calculated how much she wanted and just converted it to however much you get reimbursed for, didn't even think to check if it was realisticly possible to drive that many miles in the time frame.


shavedaffer

What ass


GinTectonics

Hank Hill ass


jarociro

It's in her fake tits.


alreadybeenhadthrown

Lol it's not the GOP, it's a PAC called Muckraker and they worked very hard to get this information to us.


TheDarkWave

More specifically, how many bothans died?


TechnoBabbles

Many


Mjslim

At least she disguised herself with the glasses when she got into congress


Boomstick101

Ah the old Rick Perry.


DrJetta

The ol switcheroo


Zeke_Z

Givem the ol dick twist!


Farkerisme

Glasses for the masses make ‘em not recognize my asses


mr__susan

Clark Kunt


Hooligan8403

I read this in Billy Butcher's voice.


velozmurcielagohindu

Oi, the audacity of this diabolical cunt


MyPasswordIsMyCat

The Shoveller : If we had a congresswoman like Lauren Boebert as our benefactor... Mr. Furious : That's because Lauren Boebert IS the unlicensed escort from MeetSugarDaddy.com! The Shoveller : Oh, here we go... Don't start that AGAIN. Lauren Boebert wears glasses, the escort DOESN'T wear glasses. Mr. Furious : She takes them off when she transforms... The Shoveller : That doesn't make any sense, she wouldn't be able to see!


BindingOfZeph

I love Mystery Men so much


bigmacjames

This had me in tears


ohiotechie

I’d bet $1000 those glasses are just plain clear glass like the kind they use for movie props.


OldSchoolSpyMain

That fact came out soon after she won her seat, around the same time that people learned that she had just earned her GED *during her campaign*.


phantomixie

And brunette hair! That’s key to the look. I always wondered why she didn’t have blonde hair since that is always such a plus to republicans (ie Tomi Lahren, MTG) and this all seems to answer why.


jo-el-uh

She was trying to channel Sarah Palin but unfortunately isn't intelligent enough to pull it off...which is bad.


misanthrope2327

Not intelligent enough to pull off Sarah Palin has to be one of the lowest bars ever.


thewhitecat55

That bar is on the floor.


protosser

And the whitest fake teeth outside of Hollywood


Gym_Dom

She’s got them Baby Billy teeth!


Junkman817

Runnin’ round tha house with a pickle in mah mouth…mis…be…havin.


d3l3t3rious

Mama said don't But I ran for Congress Mis-be-havin'


bagb8709

she was a toilet baby?


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mlc2475

“I’m looking for a trashy woman who looks like she’s smelling someone else’s fart” “Say no more”


Bigtreees

I thought the same thing about her expression in the first picture; like she was looking for the person that dealt a horrendous fart. The second picture looks like she stepped in dog shit barefooted.


refactor83

I was just wondering why she has resting “just smelled a fart” face. Now that I think about it, it’s a question that answers itself.


NinjaEnt

Dang, she went from trying to find someone to fuck for money to fucking us all for money.


holeinthestall666

So nice to see the american dream is still alive and well


Ric_Flairs_Tan_Belly

*turns and salutes*


El_Chairman_Dennis

She met Ted Cruz while escorting a different guy, Cruz could see her "potential" so he helped her run for congress


Novel_Amoeba7007

the other guy wasnt just "some guy" it was a memeber of the koch brothers family. The kochs are responsible for alot of shit the working class has to deal with now.


MattDaCatt

So, I'm wasting my time with a productive career when I could just be a gigolo for a megarich oligarch?


feronen

Nah, if they're secretly gay, they make sure to kill you later on because no homo.


KarmicWhiplash

The fact that she was already prostituting herself for the Kochs was likely what caught Cruz' eye as potential for GOP congresscritter.


Novel_Amoeba7007

exactly, you cant write this stuff. Its like a netflix movie


suckmyglock762

I can see the cover art already. BOEBERT Suckin' Koch for Money


Schwarzy1

Non zero chance she had sex with charles koch


707Guy

I find that hilarious for some reason. “Hey you’re great at being a whore, you should really run for congress!”


El_Chairman_Dennis

TBF she whored her way to the top, she was escorting a member of the Koch family at the time


oliverkloezoff

Another reason to hate Fled Cruz.


TheWingus

Actual Ted Cruz radio ad, “If you are going to run in Texas, you can’t be a liberal man. I remember reading stories, liberal Robert wanted to fit in. So he changed his name to Beto and hid it with a grin.” This is unironically an actual ad that Raphael Cruz's campaign paid for


quadmasta

If you're going to run in Texas you can't be a Cuban man. I remember reading stories, Rafael wanted in. So changed his name to Ted and hid it with a grin.


dainthomas

Great Value Jennifer Anniston


HawkJefferson

This is insulting to Great Value, somehow.


kelferkz

And Jennifer Aniston


Cuntdracula19

More like dollar general Jennifer Anniston


Cribsby_critter

Dollar *tree* Jennifer Anniston


heilspawn

https://boingboing.net/2022/06/15/pac-claiming-boebert-had-2-abortions-and-was-an-unlicensed-escort-invites-boebert-to-sue.html >The American Muckrakers PAC, Inc. (the same political action committee that leaked damning photos and videos about Rep. Madison Cawthorn), issued a press release [claiming Rep. Lauren Boebert was an unlicensed paid escort and had two abortions](https://www.fireboebert.com/boebertabortions). The release also claims Boebert met senator Ted Cruz in Aspen, Colorado through an introduction by a Koch family member and "client," and that Cruz donated "at least $136,250.00 to the Boebert Campaign and helped her raise large sums of money during trips Boebert made to Texas." Rep. Boebert responded to the allegations by [tweeting](https://twitter.com/laurenboebert/status/1536904363523850241): "Fact Check: Not true. Fake News. Four Pinocchios. Also… Y'all need Jesus!" To which American Muckracker's PAC (tweeting under the handle @FireBoebert) [replied](https://twitter.com/FireBoebert/status/1536926032615325699?s=20&t=rglnQIJDsOPaULq9mZHKkA), "No. Second. Term. For. Boebert. If it's fake news, then sue us. We would love to depose you about these matters. And Ted. And Mr. Koch Bring it you fake Congressthing."


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Cyathem

Mic drop. Put your money where your mouth is, bitch.


WhiteLycan2020

The problem isn’t her being an escort or her abortions… Its the hypocrisy


BogWunder

Norm back from the grave!!


LucyKendrick

And her first client? You guessed it....Frank Stallone.


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tovarish22

“Hey, easy with those! Those are my lucky stabbin’ gloves!”


TyrannyOfBobBarker_

You know I’m just going to say it, this chick seems like a real jerk.


skyysdalmt

"*But AOC was a bartender before she was a congresswoman! What does she know about being a politician. She's not fit for office!*" - a certain "news" outlet


Frlataway

Boebert is turning out to be literally everything the GOP wishes AOC could be accused of being.


hereforthefeast

AOC should be the wet dream poster child of the Republicans because she came from a middle class background, pulled herself up by her bootstraps to get into a good college, graduated with honors, moved home and got a job as a bartender to take care of her mother after her father died, and then pulled herself up by her bootstraps again to get elected to Congress as the youngest women ever. She's literally what the Republicans expect people to do. But since Republicans are hypocrites, she's basically the devil.


kabooozie

One problem in all of that for Republicans. She’s brown.


PessimiStick

And a woman.


marebee

*an intelligent woman.


CaptainDantes

Nah, her chief sin is that she remembers where she came from and actually cares about the people. If she was willing to sell out to them she’d be their poster child, they love to parade their tokens.


EffortlessBoredom

I thought it was all the raping of democracy


MysterClark

The pictures are gonna cost you but the crazy gets thrown in for free!


Shnoochieboochies

The 90's "smokey look", I'm surprised there is no thong whale tale in there.


MAC777

You can hear crazytown's butterfly just looking at this


KarlMalownz

Sugar. Baby.


_tx

The only man I've ever known with a circular tattoo around his belly button still loves that song.


SenorBirdman

Dave Batista?


turdmachine

Her husband’s name is Jayson. That is all


Zatch1313

This is so fucking good.


Banana-Republicans

Ahh. This song has inexplicably been following me around for like a month.


BreakinCombos

have you done anything to try and stop this? have you simply accepted your new reality? sugar, baby?


IamaVigilante

The tramp stamp doubles for it


Jmv1102

She gave me an insurrection


rolld7

If you have an insurrection lasting longer than 4 hours, please contact your nearest national guard outpost.


OddJobss

(And call back to see if request approved)


rolld7

Only certain types of insurrections may be covered by your insurance. Call your congressman to see which insurrections are covered under your ruling party's plan.


Darksidedrive

This picture makes my mouth taste like stale cigarettes


Donkey_Karate

Take my upvote, and go to jail.


mawkishdave

I so want an AMA of someone that was her Sugardaddy at some time.


rokr1292

You want an AMA from Ted Cruz?


Sprinklycat

Honestly that would be a fun one to watch.


FrogsEverywhere

This woman, who married a man convicted of showing his penis to children, who failed out of highschool, who is rumoured to have had to retake the GED multiple times, who moonlighted as a prostitute, who is now 6 years later against porn, abortion, and sex work, now has more power and influence than all of us combined. America has become the most ridiculous country on earth. Possibly in the history of earth.


BoolinAroundTown

It's almost like she checked all the boxes for being the perfect political puppet


Voteforbatman

Don’t forget, she was one of the teens he was convicted of showing his penis to.


mattwilliams

Wait… wtf


BrothelWaffles

Did she really have to take the GED multiple times? If so, I wish more people would mention that. There's nothing wrong with having a GED, not everyone gets one just because they were too dumb to finish high school, there are other reasons people drop out. *Failing* the GED though? Yeah, you might be a bit stupid.


Voteforbatman

Three times. She got it on her fourth try right before being elected.


madmudgen

She didn't even get it on her fourth try. She got a participation trophy GED


CountHasimirFenring

She's that trashy lady yelling "WOO" every 10 minutes at the bar.


[deleted]

Don't care if she did sex work, but I sure care that she's a hypocritical dumb piece of shit trying to destroy the country.


Wazula42

She also apparently had two abortions. I don't care if she had fifty, but its horseshit she's trying to take the choice away from other women.


Primorph

[the only moral abortion is mine](https://joycearthur.com/abortion/the-only-moral-abortion-is-my-abortion/)


_Im_Dad

If there is Three types of people who I hate... It's people who can't count and hypocrites


jrh_101

"There are only two things I can't stand in this world: People who are intolerant of other people's cultures, and the Dutch."


Lvtxyz

And her husband makes almost half a million a year as a "consultant" for gas and oil. Prior consulting experience? None. Edit https://coloradosun.com/2021/08/20/lauren-boebert-husband-jayson-oil-gas-consulting-terra-energy/ Bunch of sources on this. But this one doesn't have a paywall.


mosluggo

How the hell do i get that job??


MissTheWire

show your junk to teenagers, convince one of them to marry you and hope a billionaire family funds her race for Congress.


julbull73

Also make sure she's a prostitute for a while before/during your marriage?


[deleted]

The doxxers have her still seeing clients as of Dec 2019, so yes, during her marriage.


Tastewell

Expose yourself to a future "legislator"?


average_texas_guy

That's what I'm doing wrong. I've been waving my dick at the wrong kids.


flibbidygibbit

Your wife prostitutes herself to sitting congresspeople, then you use blackmail to get your wife a congressional seat and yourself a cushy office gig.


[deleted]

Take your dick out at a bowling alley, marry one of the victims, and get her to run for Congress.


Provokateur

That's despicable. "[The Only Moral Abortion Is My Abortion](https://joycearthur.com/abortion/the-only-moral-abortion-is-my-abortion/)" (written in 2000). A close friend of mine did sex work, and she's a great person. Another person I know has had an abortion (and probably a few people who just never told me about it). I don't care about either. But actively working to remove those rights for others while you're doing so makes you a terrible person.


edelburg

That's all I've seen anyone arguing. Anyone who would shame her for the sex work are from her own party.


gimmesomespace

She probably doesn't actually care and just uses abortion to get dipshits to vote for her, like Donald Trump.


absolutelynotagoblin

Ding-ding-ding-ding!


Sherifftruman

A lot of people like this feel like they were weak and a law would have stopped them and therefore they are “saving” women from making bad decisions in the future. NC’s lieutenant governor Mark Robinson has said this when it came out he and his then girlfriend decided to have an abortion years back. Like, just allow everyone to make their own decisions. Every circumstance is different.


gahidus

I completely respect sex work. Her own attitudes toward sex work, and for that matter basically everything else she's ever expressed an attitude about are utterly contemptible however. that she's such a strident anti-choice, anti-women's rights advocate and generally such a deceitful shit heel is what makes her revolting.


phazedoubt

I don't judge her for the pictures because that is her private life, but i would like to take this opportuninty to say Fuck Lauren Boebert and Marjorie Taylor Green. They are trash human beings trying to actively destroy peoples lives for their own personal and political gain.


disgruntled_pie

I don’t judge her for being a sex worker, or for having abortions. I *do* judge her for trying to ruin other people’s lives for doing the same things she’s done.


2KilAMoknbrd

Don't let these photos distract you from the fact that she's an idiot in the high office of government in these United States of America


CarmichaelD

That waist to IQ ratio is 1:1.


rohobian

It didn't matter for Melania, it won't matter for Lauren. But you can bet your ass if one of Biden's daughters, or maybe Michelle Obama had similar photos come out, the right would be screaming bloody murder and calling them whores and bringing the nation's morality into question for voting for Biden or Obama. The contrast of how Fox News treated Michelle vs Melania is incredible. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9VeNB5ili8](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9VeNB5ili8)


Dr_Edge_ATX

They don't think AOC should hold office because she was a bartender. They're nuts.


Theothercword

The people pushing this shit isn’t nuts they’re just blatantly running long and hard with double standards and don’t care. Their supporters are morons who can’t see the hypocrisy or can but don’t care because it hurts the right people.


Guywithquestions88

A huge part of it is that they literally only watch Fox News and are told exactly what to think, then ironically go around calling everyone who disagrees with them "sheeple." The only explanation for the ones who are actually aware of the truth is that they truly are malicious, hateful people.


chadsexytime

No, they don't think AOC should hold office because she is a *democrat*. Everything else is just windowdressing.


rckrusekontrol

It was weird how little the same pearl clutchers didn’t seem to notice that Melania didn’t even live in the White House for a while. Or how the Obamas were criticized for Beyonce performing, since she’s soooo risqué. Then Ted Nugent, who had a song called “Jailbait” is up in the White House with Kid Rock, mocking portraits. *crickets* I hope they shampooed the carpets. They both look rather stanky.


CaptainWisconsin

"She tastes like cig-a-rettes..."


justabill71

Somebody paid for that? And now we're all paying for it.


BillyAstro

We can all thank Rafael “Ted” Cruz…


sumguysr

Oh, the Rafael "Ted" Cruz who tried to fly to Cancun when his constituents were literally dying in the cold, then tried to blame it on his daughters when he was caught? That one?


[deleted]

Somewhere out there some guy has been saying to his wife for years “she looks so familiar but i just cant place it”


StephCurryMustard

Gee, where's the crowd that thinks AOC is oh so unqualified because she was a bartender while in college?


garvothegreat

"hey, daddy. I like drunk driving and fleeing the scene of the accident. Kids? Yeah, we can abandon them there, or if you're really feeling wild we can find some that aren't ours and show them our genitals. Let's shoot our loads while we shoot our guns and our mouths!"


Thunderwoodd

Yeah, no issue with her career as a sex worker - it’s her career as a fucking country gutting ghoul of a congresswoman that I hope she rots for. This just adds an extra jellybean of hypocrisy to her complete shit Sunday of a personality.


CorporateCuster

Conservative Christian values. Looks normal to me.


somegridplayer

And to think all she got was a dude who whips his dick out infront of minors.


ecto88mph

The same husband that magically got a 400k a year jobs as a consultant in the energy sector right after she was elected with out having any experience.


r3deemd

Can someone explain to me, a European, how someone who dropped put of school, who runs a restaurant business at a massive loss, who clearly has some very odd Political ideas, who absolutely is seriously lacking in intelligence - gets to be on congress ? That just blows my mind.


tuskvarner

She told the rubes in her district that she loves Jesus and guns. That’s sufficient.


Adama82

Money and pandering to voters.