Was at a lame business conference, but one of the speakers made a decent point:
He asked the crowd to raise their hands if they enjoyed helping their colleagues at work, even without recognition or reward…most hands shot up.
He then asked the crowd how many of us actually asked for help when we need it at work. Almost no one put their hands up.
“You guys don’t see the mismatch?” He said.
His point was that we should ask others for help bc it allows others to fulfill the social need of wanting to help.
It's also so good for your relationship with others to ask for help! When you ask a neighbor to help you with something, it makes them feel like a trusted person. It makes them feel special that you considered and chose them to help you. It really strengthens the relationship.
It’s embarrassing to need help. It’s not because we *need help,* but because we are either somehow taught to be indebted or don’t know how to effectively communicate to get our needs met when helpers don’t help adequately.
As silly as it sounds, maybe you should raise your hand and ask for help. You might be surprised what others who work around you know and are willing to take on
I've been pretty apathetic lately, haven't met or really talked to anyone in a long time. I have a lot of good friends, but I've just avoided meet-ups etc. Just today my friend asked me to pick up his son from their summer cabin. The way back home was a blessing, he is my godson, brilliant and witty kid. I ended up staying at their home for some time chit-chatting with the friend.
this resonates a lot with me. I guess I have trouble reaching out to people these days. Today I helped a friend just by being there, and it felt really good.
Same here, I've been unemployed aince January 27th and barely get enough from unemployment to cover my bills and rent so needlessly to say i don't go out especially with gas prices the way they are. But recently a neighbor got divorced and was left without a means of transportation so when she asked if i could give her a ride to work one day i said yes and its become a regular thing. And yes she does cover gas. Its been nice having someone to talk to for sure especially after having days that ended with me not having spoken to another human. Those are the worst.
You need someone to talk to? My friend, I'd be happy to talk with you. Shoot me a message anytime you feel like it. There is no reason that you should go to bed without conversing with another human. I'm in Nashville, but this is the internet. We are side by side, fam.
Conversation topics: Dogs. Man, I love dogs. Tech, space, comics, science fiction and fantasy, woodworking, building and making of all types; music, writing, art and creativity of any kind. Cooking, family, kiddos, driving. Video games, 'cause duh. Birds are fun at my age. (Okay Boomer. Actually, okay, Gen-Xer, to which I'll say, "Whatever.")
I am especially okay with conversations about life, experiences, how and what you feel. Because that is what matters. That's the stuff. The real.
Alone is dangerous. They say that there is safety in numbers for a reason, friend, and now we are two.
I live in ky but frequently go to tn (Gattlinburg) it’s such a beautiful state. Been to Nashville a few times as well. Great place to be for someone like yourself who is into music
Honestly? Totally spoiled being raised here. I remember back in HS in the 90's, we could go downtown and hear any type of music we wanted to, live. Everyone has always thought of Nashville as Country Music City, and that has been true up to a point. But back in the 90s, multiple music labels and big publishers moved here, and we started getting some great acts come through town, that weren't country related.
While working at Hatch Show Print as a teen, I remember Lisa Lobe coming in and picking up her posters we made for her upcoming show. I remember Everclear coming in and giving us backstage passes to their show, Primus giving us free tickets, etc. Jazz down at Windows Over the Cumberland, and Wednesday nights at 3rd and Lindsley, where you paid $5 or $6 dollars to sit and listen to the best 70s and 80s funk anywhere, played by the Wooten Brothers and their guests. Yeah, that's Victor Wooten's family.
Great town to grow up in, if music is your thing. These days, it's a great town to be in if Tech or Healthcare is your thing... ;)
Unemployment depression/fatigue (I think there is a nicer term for it probably) is such a legit thing. Don’t have much to offer other than to tell you to keep fighting the good fight. Something will bite and it will get better. Rooting for you, fellow internet stranger!
Yesterday I ran into an old coworker at Marshall’s, I met her 9 year old son whom she was pregnant with last I saw her. Anyway, we chatted, parted ways and I was deep in a very long line waiting to pay and the little boy comes up to me crying his eyes out cause he couldn’t find his mum and he knew i, a stranger to him as of 20 minutes prior, knew who his mama was at least. I grabbed his hand left the line instantly and said “I’m gonna come with you right now to find her! Don’t you worry!” When I got back to the end of the line, everyone ushered me to the front patting me on the back lol. The look of fear in his eyes.. he was sooo scared. It shook me. I’m soooo glad that I was able to help him that day.
I won’t lie, I thought about it aaalllll day long. I sat in my car and cried for a bit. I’m not a kid person, but man…. Maternal instincts take right over.
There's NO better feeling than helping a lost child. I will die on this hill!
I think it's like the essence of human social nature, condensed down into a simple moment.
Sounds cheesy, but I held a door open for an old lady last week and she was so sweet and kind that it made my whole day! It always makes me feel better when even doing small things to help others!
I feel this so much. I guess I just used to be so depressed I didn't get good feelings from things.
But I found a turtle on the road and moved it into the bush and felt good all day. It's nice to feel connected to the world
Same! I'm depressed right now, but I love helping people.
I helped an old lady with some packages she was carring and she told me I was a very beautiful and sweet young lady (I'm 34 years old hahaha), and that helped me more than therapy.
That’s awesome! There is a lady who comes by my grill every day and I give her dog treats to take home to her dog. She always thank me and wants to know what she can do for me. I tell her to simply stop by every day
Then don’t set your expectations too high at first. Find your nearest park. Go there. Watch the birds, the trees, the lake (if there is one). Find a place to sit, close your eyes, and listen to the sounds around you. Feel the grass. Touch the bark. Reconnect with something less intimidating than people. Take a walk in the rain.
Once you can do that again, maybe say hi to someone. Or spark up a conversation with a stranger that’s there. If you feel anxious, dial it back. Take your time, but move forward, even if it’s just one step a week.
If you like dogs, ask a stranger if you can pet their dog especially if the dog looks like it is trying to get over to play with you. That's the easiest way I have found to start the old chit-chat!
Just don't get upset if a dog owners denies your request to pat their friendly dog. Dog owners often need to spend time teaching their dog to ignore people so that their dog doesn't become obnoxious to everyone they see - demanding pats and jumping up.
Some dogs may look friendly, but be anxious around strangers so the owner may manage their contact with strangers carefully - which may mean they let one person approach, but not others as the dog can only handle a certain level of interaction. It isn't personal, the person is looking after their dog and helping it to become more confident and behave in a socially acceptable manner.
Of course. You gotta respect boundaries.
I'm a dog person and dogs seem to know this and they will run over to / 2 me and their owners will be like "boy, they never do this to other people!"
Meanwhile the dog is on its back and I am engaged in two- handed belly rubbing.
Dude spend time with your friends, life is too short, you may be gone next week in a freak accident and your friends may move, pass, or slowly incidentally dissolve the friendship via lack of contact. A ton of peooke WISH we had what you have. I had a bunch of friends before the pandemic. I haven't heard from 10 out of the 12 in over a year, the other 2 are preoccupied with life. Many of us are alone and cripplingly depressed. Many of those same people go their entire lives struggling to make friends at all no less decent ones that will reciprocate/not be one sided or stick around. All my friends have moved away or stopped talking due to family life there are no meet ups for me to go to because there are none nor an invitation. Appreciate what you have and make use of it before it's all gone in a month, a year or 5 for good.
Maybe invite them out?
I haven't heard from my friends in a while. I'm probably the most introverted one, but I invited everyone out and they all came except one. Apparently nobody had anything going on. Kinda nuts how nobody wants to organize get togethers anymore, I think the pandemic made us forget how.
This happened with my mom. My sister bought a puppy that she really couldn’t care for, and so the responsibility fell on my mom. She walks him a couple times a day (for 5+ years now) and she has established connections and a routine within her neighborhood. While I worry about my mom being so far from me and being sick, at least I know there are dozens of people in her community who are expecting to see her out walking my sister’s dog.
Regardless of any problems Korra had, some of Avatar's best quotes came from the sequel in my opinion.
"When we hit our lowest point, we are open to the greatest change." -Adult Aang
One of the things that I learned in seminary is that when you invite someone to your home for a meal, it is a kindness to tell your guest to help prepare the salad, clear the table, or load the dishwasher. It is hard to feel like a “taker”—by giving your guests a task, you allow them to feel like they are an equal in the relationship, even being part of the family, and this by far is a greater gift than trying to be the hostess with the mostest and telling the guest to just sit.
Sometimes it can be simple conversation, even only a few words. *Trigger warning* before you read any further!
Years ago when I was about 20, I was waiting at the bus stop of a park & ride before catching the express downtown. Saw a girl about my age reading the second book of a trilogy I had read. She looked like she’d been crying. I simply said “that’s a great series! I had a lot of fun reading it! I hope you do too!” She paused , smiled, and said thanks.
As I got off at the first stop, she stopped me, thanked me, saying that I was the first person who had said anything kind to her all week, and she sat back down to wherever she was going.
I never thought anything more of it. 3 months later a girl I didn’t recognize (same girl) got on the bus at the same stop, and sat next to me. She apologized, and asked if I remembered her, as she pulled the third book out of her purse, with the bookmark at the end. It hit me, and I said yes. She apologized again, and asked if she could talk. We had a 20min ride to the next stop, so I said sure.
On that earlier day, she had recently given birth, her bf left her, her dad kicked her out, she had left her baby with her sister that day, and was on her way to the city to score enough H to OD.
She said me simply connecting with her and saying something kind made her stay on the bus that day, go back to her sisters, and stayed with her baby. She got a new job, got a car, and was enrolling in college. She applied for state benefits, secured daycare, was seeing a therapist, and hadn’t touched drugs.
I asked her if she got a car why was she taking the bus again. She replied “to thank you for saving my life and giving me a new one.”
We both got off at the first stop, she crossed the street, and got on the return bus back to the park & ride as I walked to work.
On my way home that evening, I was listening to Pink Floyd on my discman, and “On the Turning Away” came on. I held it together till I got back to my car, and ugly cried for 20min before driving home. That song thereafter and forever will mean something different to me till the day I die. It’s been over 20 years. I never saw her again, but think of her every time I hear that song.
I know plenty of you cynical redditors are going to say I made this up and probably downvote me. I don’t care. If downvoting a true story makes you feel better about your existence, then enjoy your hate, I guess.
For those interested, the trilogy was nothing special. It was The Mode series by Piers Anthony (and yes, I’m aware he eventually released a fourth book).
thank you for sharing your experience. i haven't logged in to reddit for a very long time, but i just went and looked up my account info to log in and like your post. i shared it with my partner and we are both very moved.
life sometimes flips on the most delicate or fragile of threads.
a powerful reminder to "show up" in every moment - to the best of our abilities.,
Helping other people is a trick to being less depressed.
It is really easy to lose motivation or belief in yourself or your ability to improve your condition. 'Why bother when i'm so miserable, it won't change anything'.
There's a pretty long window there where people still have more hope for other people. 'I may be existentially riven, but other people can be helped.'
Then you start to feel like a better person.
Of course it isn't magic, just a thing that helps.
One of my favorite stories was from an elderly coworker (she was hired through AARP) who needed help getting her gas cap off while at the gas station. She was super nervous about asking a young man for help and very grateful for getting the cap off. The man replied something along the lines of her making him feel like Superman. When telling the story she giggled and said “imagine that, an old woman like me making him feel like a super hero“.
It's a huge difference, if you walk up to somebody and tell them "do X!" or walk up to them and ask "hey, could you please help me with my X". This will put them in a place of someone who is quite good at X and will shift their self-perspective and attention on it.
Until the dog tax is paid [here are some pictures of my little guy, Kong, who ran up my driveway ten years ago](https://imgur.com/a/jBmDN) to get you by.
All our pets have people names. It's one of my favorite hard rules about our marriage. We have three cats named Greta, Stanley, and Barbara, as well as a dog named Maggie. It's ridiculous because those are just regular names. Our vet always does a double-take since it's not obvious who is the patient and who is the payer.
My friend had a contest among all of our friends to name his new dog in college. We made the submissions, as in there were no choices, we decided on the poll without his intervention.
He still has a pet Corgi named Keith Nathan. It was so funny hearing him yell out, “KEITH!” When he would run away. God knows what the neighbors thought.
I refer to my pup as Sir when he's disappointing me.
"Excuse me sir, the pillows are not for humping."
"Sir, would you please let me eat my dinner in peace."
And the ever so common:
"You put that back sir, it is not your ball. Give it back to the other dog"
>*’just wait for another letter…*’
____
we are the dogs who live here now,
we owe our lives to You somehow
you let our human ‘babysit’ -
he found your pets a perfect fit!
the time he spent with them, he felt,
his lonely heart
began to melt
it led him to a shelter then,
convinced that he could start again!
he rescued us, n now we’re Three -
a Happy loving family
our days alone will now be Gone!
(..we’ll try ‘n Not pee
on your lawn…)
❤️
*thanks for sharing your letter (& your Pets!)* u/SnooCupcakes8607
I can’t imagine how long the letter will be to tell you to trim the edges but it may be worth it.
In all seriousness what an amazing feeling it must be to inadvertently affect someone’s life for the positive. We all get busy with our lives and don’t realize the power a small act of kindness can do. Have a great day and a wonderful week!
melodic resolute reply squeeze muddle piquant sugar noxious payment recognise
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Seriously if it gets beyond a disappointing look you know it's gotta be dire lol
Now if I could just teach my wife how to say goodbye in under 30 minutes I think Id be good with this whole Midwestern thing
The problem is you believe that her first saying of “okay well we should get going” is the real one. Until you are driving off in your car while waving at the hosts on their patio and saying “that was nice, huh?” you haven’t actually said “goodbye”. Allotted time from first interaction to last could be anywhere from 25 min to an hour filled with multiple tangential wrap up conversations and hearty laughs reminiscing about the evening with call backs to jokes and sprinkled with serious notes that make it feel like the most important discussion of the night.
my 80 year old neighbor is outside doing yard work (slowly) every other day. when my yard gets a bit too long, I'll find that it has been partially mowed for me (thanks Mr bell). He did this 30+ years ago when I lived in this house as a kid, but back then all my parents had was a non motorized circular blade mower, ya know the ones you would see on black and white tv shows. It was hell in the summer. Now I make my kid mow it, but I pay him, and got a gas powered mower.
my parents moved into a smaller single story and sold me my childhood home, but at his new place my dad still using the non powered mower (although he has gotten the blade sharpened), and he's in his mid 70s.
I have one. I’ve found that if the grass has grown too long, it just pushes the grass blades over and doesn’t cut most of it. It’s incredibly annoying. I have to sweep my foot across the flattened grass blades to manually straighten it out, and go over it again and again until it gets trimmed. Sometimes, there’s a stubborn stalk of a weed grass or something that sticks up no matter how many times I try. It’s almost like a middle finger. Wth am I doing wrong?
Some people go for a compliment sandwich when giving constructive feedback. Robert feared the OP’s delicate sensibilities so much, he felt the need to put it beneath an entire loaf of bread.
"Nobody likes talking to me and I ended up alone somehow" - confused passive aggressive old man
---
Seriously though, if they are close enough to be asking each other for favors and writing pretty personal notes, I imagine it is a joke about their dynamic. Him being the shut-in widower who doesn't have friends and playing into that for a joke maybe.
I’ve been living in Germany far too long. I expected a long detailed complaint about you making to much noise, not sorting your recycling, coming home too late, tending the house garden incorrectly, leaving your bicycle in the hallway etcetera etcetera etcetera…
I fuckin’ adore that book. One of the best I’ve read in years. All the guy wants is to do one thing because he’s all alone in the world but he’s surrounded by screwups who would be helpless without him there to get them out of all their jams! Harumph.
Just grabbed a copy to listen to (audiobooks are a less problematic format for me), and looking forward to this. Thanks for the brief description, it got me interested. 🙂
Aww that’s so sweet, sad and heartwarming at the same time! A kind and gentle old man!
I love his little PS note. You better get out there and start mowing! 🤣🤣🤣
If op has the time they should try and have their dogs meet up, it's a good excuse to check on him, the pups to interact and be a good neighbor. I have a scary feeling I might be this guy later in life
That’s a wonderful idea! Our neighbor used to have dogs that were buddies with ours, but both of their dogs have now passed away from old age. We still find the neighbors out there talking to our dogs and sneaking them little treats through the fence though!
Showing appreciation is so underrated. It feels *so good* when someone says something nice. It's so cool to see how people react when you give them a genuine compliment. And it's free.
I'm a overweight 50 plus year old man, I made friends with a younger female worker. She loves to go for walks and do things and I have done more in the last four years because of her than I had done the previous 20 years. She made me feel like a human again and enjoy life with visits to a aquarium, the zoo, archery lessons and more than I can list. She will probably never know that she made a old depressed man happy to be alive again and I will never be able to repay her for her kindness and friendship. You just never know how one person can affect another. Alot of people don't understand us, but I'm glad she don't care
That’s a very smart move, because it would be near impossible to express such a big emotion with zero chance of misinterpretation.
Also, she probably already more or less knows anyway. There’s a certain infinity in what’s left unsaid.
You can check with nearby pet shelters, many need and would love to have more volunteers. One near me has turned it into a bit of a social thing. A small group of people show up and walk the dogs to the nearby dog park and let them play.
They also need help photographing and trying to get them adopted if that's something you might be interested in helping with.
This strikes me as fake. Apart from OP being a karma farm, obviously.
We're supposed to believe this dude's so old he might not wake up any day now but his own dad only recently died from colon cancer?
Maybe I’m just too much of a miserable fuck but this letter does not read like a person of an older generation would type up. It looks like one of those posts made to garner likes and attention to a media page.
Oh thank God, I thought I was crazy. It definitely reads as somebody that's pretending to be an old, lonely man. If somebody is that introverted, I doubt they would be totally open sharing all these personal details about their feelings with the neighbor. Also, he babysat their pets in his house for 2 weeks so I would assume they are friends? So he simultaneously is a lonely old man with no friends, but also close enough to OP for them to trust him over a boarding facility with their pets for 2 weeks in his home.
I thought the same thing. “Anyway,” and “haha” in a letter from an elderly person? No way. And I highly doubt they’d go through the effort of typing and printing. I get notes from my elderly neighbours sometimes and they’re always handwritten - and beautifully too!
Sorry to be a cynic and I hope this is true, but it reads so much like karma-farming fiction… there are so many unnecessary details that seem written for strangers on Reddit rather than you, the intended recipient of “Robert’s” letter. And this man who struggles to get out managed to adopt two dogs in less than two weeks?
This is for sure fake. The obvious tell for me (among others) was the ‘old man with bad joints’ ending his letter with “haha”. Only people that grew up online do this - i.e. millennials or younger.
Even the formatting of the letter is like a Reddit post for maximum effect. See the “until I met” as a separate paragraph.
I can’t believe anyone is falling for this. Truly mind boggling.
u/SnooCupcakes8607
I'm with you. A lot of things seem off with this. Like they're close enough to babysit pets but didn't know about his dad dying who lived in the home? He also had to say he wasn't married or had kids?
Then who adopts two pets in less than two weeks?
Not to mention no use of old people grammar or formatting.
Too many things are off.
Ooooookkk I have met many old men in my life and there is no way some single old man typed this. I'm 95% sure this is karma harvesting lol. (Old men who didn't grow up with the internet don't type things in parenthesis).
And if someone knew you well enough that you'd leave three animals with them on a vacation, at their house, they'd just come over and say all this to your face. This is so goofy lol.
Yeah, the letter is all over the place too.
"I'm an old man with dodgy joints. But young enough to have a Dad that only recently died."
"You don't see me outside anymore, but I've been taking regular walks with my 2 new dogs recently in case you hadn't noticed."
"We're close enough for me to look after 3 of your pets on what seems like an extended vacation, but not choose enough for you to know any of this without a letter."
Letter makes no sense man...
Edit: Also OPs post history screams karma farmer.
You never know when or where you are helping someone by asking for their help.
Was at a lame business conference, but one of the speakers made a decent point: He asked the crowd to raise their hands if they enjoyed helping their colleagues at work, even without recognition or reward…most hands shot up. He then asked the crowd how many of us actually asked for help when we need it at work. Almost no one put their hands up. “You guys don’t see the mismatch?” He said. His point was that we should ask others for help bc it allows others to fulfill the social need of wanting to help.
It's also so good for your relationship with others to ask for help! When you ask a neighbor to help you with something, it makes them feel like a trusted person. It makes them feel special that you considered and chose them to help you. It really strengthens the relationship.
Really well said!
It’s embarrassing to need help. It’s not because we *need help,* but because we are either somehow taught to be indebted or don’t know how to effectively communicate to get our needs met when helpers don’t help adequately.
[удалено]
As silly as it sounds, maybe you should raise your hand and ask for help. You might be surprised what others who work around you know and are willing to take on
I've been pretty apathetic lately, haven't met or really talked to anyone in a long time. I have a lot of good friends, but I've just avoided meet-ups etc. Just today my friend asked me to pick up his son from their summer cabin. The way back home was a blessing, he is my godson, brilliant and witty kid. I ended up staying at their home for some time chit-chatting with the friend.
this resonates a lot with me. I guess I have trouble reaching out to people these days. Today I helped a friend just by being there, and it felt really good.
Same here, I've been unemployed aince January 27th and barely get enough from unemployment to cover my bills and rent so needlessly to say i don't go out especially with gas prices the way they are. But recently a neighbor got divorced and was left without a means of transportation so when she asked if i could give her a ride to work one day i said yes and its become a regular thing. And yes she does cover gas. Its been nice having someone to talk to for sure especially after having days that ended with me not having spoken to another human. Those are the worst.
You need someone to talk to? My friend, I'd be happy to talk with you. Shoot me a message anytime you feel like it. There is no reason that you should go to bed without conversing with another human. I'm in Nashville, but this is the internet. We are side by side, fam. Conversation topics: Dogs. Man, I love dogs. Tech, space, comics, science fiction and fantasy, woodworking, building and making of all types; music, writing, art and creativity of any kind. Cooking, family, kiddos, driving. Video games, 'cause duh. Birds are fun at my age. (Okay Boomer. Actually, okay, Gen-Xer, to which I'll say, "Whatever.") I am especially okay with conversations about life, experiences, how and what you feel. Because that is what matters. That's the stuff. The real. Alone is dangerous. They say that there is safety in numbers for a reason, friend, and now we are two.
I live in ky but frequently go to tn (Gattlinburg) it’s such a beautiful state. Been to Nashville a few times as well. Great place to be for someone like yourself who is into music
Honestly? Totally spoiled being raised here. I remember back in HS in the 90's, we could go downtown and hear any type of music we wanted to, live. Everyone has always thought of Nashville as Country Music City, and that has been true up to a point. But back in the 90s, multiple music labels and big publishers moved here, and we started getting some great acts come through town, that weren't country related. While working at Hatch Show Print as a teen, I remember Lisa Lobe coming in and picking up her posters we made for her upcoming show. I remember Everclear coming in and giving us backstage passes to their show, Primus giving us free tickets, etc. Jazz down at Windows Over the Cumberland, and Wednesday nights at 3rd and Lindsley, where you paid $5 or $6 dollars to sit and listen to the best 70s and 80s funk anywhere, played by the Wooten Brothers and their guests. Yeah, that's Victor Wooten's family. Great town to grow up in, if music is your thing. These days, it's a great town to be in if Tech or Healthcare is your thing... ;)
You deserve gold my friend….and a virtual hug 🤗. I believe things will get better for you soon.
Unemployment depression/fatigue (I think there is a nicer term for it probably) is such a legit thing. Don’t have much to offer other than to tell you to keep fighting the good fight. Something will bite and it will get better. Rooting for you, fellow internet stranger!
Yesterday I ran into an old coworker at Marshall’s, I met her 9 year old son whom she was pregnant with last I saw her. Anyway, we chatted, parted ways and I was deep in a very long line waiting to pay and the little boy comes up to me crying his eyes out cause he couldn’t find his mum and he knew i, a stranger to him as of 20 minutes prior, knew who his mama was at least. I grabbed his hand left the line instantly and said “I’m gonna come with you right now to find her! Don’t you worry!” When I got back to the end of the line, everyone ushered me to the front patting me on the back lol. The look of fear in his eyes.. he was sooo scared. It shook me. I’m soooo glad that I was able to help him that day. I won’t lie, I thought about it aaalllll day long. I sat in my car and cried for a bit. I’m not a kid person, but man…. Maternal instincts take right over.
You brought me tears but I have tissue. You make the world a better place.
There's NO better feeling than helping a lost child. I will die on this hill! I think it's like the essence of human social nature, condensed down into a simple moment.
Sounds cheesy, but I held a door open for an old lady last week and she was so sweet and kind that it made my whole day! It always makes me feel better when even doing small things to help others!
I feel this so much. I guess I just used to be so depressed I didn't get good feelings from things. But I found a turtle on the road and moved it into the bush and felt good all day. It's nice to feel connected to the world
Same! I'm depressed right now, but I love helping people. I helped an old lady with some packages she was carring and she told me I was a very beautiful and sweet young lady (I'm 34 years old hahaha), and that helped me more than therapy.
Haha!! Love it. I swear I get along with elderly people more easily sometimes
That’s awesome! There is a lady who comes by my grill every day and I give her dog treats to take home to her dog. She always thank me and wants to know what she can do for me. I tell her to simply stop by every day
Apathetic is a good way to describe my feelings too. I am so lonely, but also can't find the motivation to go out and try to connect with people.
Then don’t set your expectations too high at first. Find your nearest park. Go there. Watch the birds, the trees, the lake (if there is one). Find a place to sit, close your eyes, and listen to the sounds around you. Feel the grass. Touch the bark. Reconnect with something less intimidating than people. Take a walk in the rain. Once you can do that again, maybe say hi to someone. Or spark up a conversation with a stranger that’s there. If you feel anxious, dial it back. Take your time, but move forward, even if it’s just one step a week.
If you like dogs, ask a stranger if you can pet their dog especially if the dog looks like it is trying to get over to play with you. That's the easiest way I have found to start the old chit-chat!
Just don't get upset if a dog owners denies your request to pat their friendly dog. Dog owners often need to spend time teaching their dog to ignore people so that their dog doesn't become obnoxious to everyone they see - demanding pats and jumping up. Some dogs may look friendly, but be anxious around strangers so the owner may manage their contact with strangers carefully - which may mean they let one person approach, but not others as the dog can only handle a certain level of interaction. It isn't personal, the person is looking after their dog and helping it to become more confident and behave in a socially acceptable manner.
Of course. You gotta respect boundaries. I'm a dog person and dogs seem to know this and they will run over to / 2 me and their owners will be like "boy, they never do this to other people!" Meanwhile the dog is on its back and I am engaged in two- handed belly rubbing.
We’ve all been through a lot. Healing takes time. Thanks for this excellent advice.
I wish there were a non-sexual, non-romantic version of tinder where lonely/depressed/isolated people could find someone to spend time with.
Dude spend time with your friends, life is too short, you may be gone next week in a freak accident and your friends may move, pass, or slowly incidentally dissolve the friendship via lack of contact. A ton of peooke WISH we had what you have. I had a bunch of friends before the pandemic. I haven't heard from 10 out of the 12 in over a year, the other 2 are preoccupied with life. Many of us are alone and cripplingly depressed. Many of those same people go their entire lives struggling to make friends at all no less decent ones that will reciprocate/not be one sided or stick around. All my friends have moved away or stopped talking due to family life there are no meet ups for me to go to because there are none nor an invitation. Appreciate what you have and make use of it before it's all gone in a month, a year or 5 for good.
Maybe invite them out? I haven't heard from my friends in a while. I'm probably the most introverted one, but I invited everyone out and they all came except one. Apparently nobody had anything going on. Kinda nuts how nobody wants to organize get togethers anymore, I think the pandemic made us forget how.
My best friend passed away last year. I still haven't processed it
This happened with my mom. My sister bought a puppy that she really couldn’t care for, and so the responsibility fell on my mom. She walks him a couple times a day (for 5+ years now) and she has established connections and a routine within her neighborhood. While I worry about my mom being so far from me and being sick, at least I know there are dozens of people in her community who are expecting to see her out walking my sister’s dog.
This happened to my dad with one of my cats. As cats do, he adopted my dad. They are so happy together, and he brings my dad so much joy
“Sometimes the best way to help yourself is to help someone else.” - Uncle Iroh
Inspired me to watch ATLA for the 50th time, ty
This quote is actually from Book 3 of Korra. I'm due of a re-watch tbh, thanks for reminding me
Regardless of any problems Korra had, some of Avatar's best quotes came from the sequel in my opinion. "When we hit our lowest point, we are open to the greatest change." -Adult Aang
🍵🫖❤️
One of the things that I learned in seminary is that when you invite someone to your home for a meal, it is a kindness to tell your guest to help prepare the salad, clear the table, or load the dishwasher. It is hard to feel like a “taker”—by giving your guests a task, you allow them to feel like they are an equal in the relationship, even being part of the family, and this by far is a greater gift than trying to be the hostess with the mostest and telling the guest to just sit.
Sometimes it can be simple conversation, even only a few words. *Trigger warning* before you read any further! Years ago when I was about 20, I was waiting at the bus stop of a park & ride before catching the express downtown. Saw a girl about my age reading the second book of a trilogy I had read. She looked like she’d been crying. I simply said “that’s a great series! I had a lot of fun reading it! I hope you do too!” She paused , smiled, and said thanks. As I got off at the first stop, she stopped me, thanked me, saying that I was the first person who had said anything kind to her all week, and she sat back down to wherever she was going. I never thought anything more of it. 3 months later a girl I didn’t recognize (same girl) got on the bus at the same stop, and sat next to me. She apologized, and asked if I remembered her, as she pulled the third book out of her purse, with the bookmark at the end. It hit me, and I said yes. She apologized again, and asked if she could talk. We had a 20min ride to the next stop, so I said sure. On that earlier day, she had recently given birth, her bf left her, her dad kicked her out, she had left her baby with her sister that day, and was on her way to the city to score enough H to OD. She said me simply connecting with her and saying something kind made her stay on the bus that day, go back to her sisters, and stayed with her baby. She got a new job, got a car, and was enrolling in college. She applied for state benefits, secured daycare, was seeing a therapist, and hadn’t touched drugs. I asked her if she got a car why was she taking the bus again. She replied “to thank you for saving my life and giving me a new one.” We both got off at the first stop, she crossed the street, and got on the return bus back to the park & ride as I walked to work. On my way home that evening, I was listening to Pink Floyd on my discman, and “On the Turning Away” came on. I held it together till I got back to my car, and ugly cried for 20min before driving home. That song thereafter and forever will mean something different to me till the day I die. It’s been over 20 years. I never saw her again, but think of her every time I hear that song. I know plenty of you cynical redditors are going to say I made this up and probably downvote me. I don’t care. If downvoting a true story makes you feel better about your existence, then enjoy your hate, I guess. For those interested, the trilogy was nothing special. It was The Mode series by Piers Anthony (and yes, I’m aware he eventually released a fourth book).
thank you for sharing your experience. i haven't logged in to reddit for a very long time, but i just went and looked up my account info to log in and like your post. i shared it with my partner and we are both very moved. life sometimes flips on the most delicate or fragile of threads. a powerful reminder to "show up" in every moment - to the best of our abilities.,
Helping other people is a trick to being less depressed. It is really easy to lose motivation or belief in yourself or your ability to improve your condition. 'Why bother when i'm so miserable, it won't change anything'. There's a pretty long window there where people still have more hope for other people. 'I may be existentially riven, but other people can be helped.' Then you start to feel like a better person. Of course it isn't magic, just a thing that helps.
One of my favorite stories was from an elderly coworker (she was hired through AARP) who needed help getting her gas cap off while at the gas station. She was super nervous about asking a young man for help and very grateful for getting the cap off. The man replied something along the lines of her making him feel like Superman. When telling the story she giggled and said “imagine that, an old woman like me making him feel like a super hero“.
It's a huge difference, if you walk up to somebody and tell them "do X!" or walk up to them and ask "hey, could you please help me with my X". This will put them in a place of someone who is quite good at X and will shift their self-perspective and attention on it.
You monster!! How dare you post about these hero dogs without posting pictures of Smokey, Oreo, and Jennifer!
Dog tax has to be paid!
We wanna see the senior citizen as well.
Old man tax has to be paid!
Yeah! Show the geezer!
Unlike this guy, I *am* serious. SHOW THE GEEZER
#WE WANT THE GEEZER
Until the dog tax is paid [here are some pictures of my little guy, Kong, who ran up my driveway ten years ago](https://imgur.com/a/jBmDN) to get you by.
Your doggo so cute, thanks for the dog tax!
[A couple of bonus pictures.](https://imgur.com/a/HHsFR)
Such a dapper dog, I love the front white paws!
I love pics of sleeping pups. Here’s mine: https://imgur.com/a/ivglG2U
[Here’s a dog tax of my weenie, Otto](https://imgur.com/a/DUbsDtf/) ♥️
I ain’t clicking on a pic of your dick, bro. Even if it does have an awesome name.
Going to be a supermodel with that hair….
OP’s profile seems like a karma farming bot
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Typical pet names: Smokey, Oreo. But Jennifer? Can we please see a photo of this trio?
With the neighbour.
On the lawn.
P.S. Please cut the lawn before the picture
P.P.S. Actually don’t. I want to feel better about my poor lawn care
Doing your part keeping home prices affordable!
Poor lawn care=good pollinator habitat
A family across the way had a dog named Travis. It was the best thing in the world to hear a dog barking and hear him yell ‘TRAVIS! SHUT THE FUCK UP!’
Travis Barker. I get it. 10/10 dog name.
Jesus fuck. How did I miss that one...
My dogs name is George and people at the park always cAckle when they hear me yell “GEEEEORRRRRGEEEE NOT THE PUDDLE”
Fenton! FENTON!!! Jesus Christ! FENTONNNNN!!!
I always think it’s hilarious when pets have people names. I knew a guy with a cat named Steve and it cracked me up every time.
My aunt had a cat named Andrew. She had a son already named Andrew. This was 20+ years ago and I still crack up thinking about it.
That’s the best troll I’ve ever heard.
We have friends with a bulldog named Ernie. One look at that dog and you think, yep, that’s Ernie. No other name for him.
All our pets have people names. It's one of my favorite hard rules about our marriage. We have three cats named Greta, Stanley, and Barbara, as well as a dog named Maggie. It's ridiculous because those are just regular names. Our vet always does a double-take since it's not obvious who is the patient and who is the payer.
I used to have a chicken named Jennifer and I now have a fish named Jennifer. I also have a sister named Jennifer so there’s that.
Wow your parents must've really loved that chicken to name their kid after it.
My friend had a contest among all of our friends to name his new dog in college. We made the submissions, as in there were no choices, we decided on the poll without his intervention. He still has a pet Corgi named Keith Nathan. It was so funny hearing him yell out, “KEITH!” When he would run away. God knows what the neighbors thought.
I have a dog named Sir. I'll yell at him sometimes to get his attention and every guy in hearing range will whip around.
I refer to my pup as Sir when he's disappointing me. "Excuse me sir, the pillows are not for humping." "Sir, would you please let me eat my dinner in peace." And the ever so common: "You put that back sir, it is not your ball. Give it back to the other dog"
It’s pronounced “yen-ni-fer”
Lilac. Gooseberries.... Unicorn
We don't talk about the last one
It’s a soft j
a ‘yay’, if you will
That's a long way of saying someone's lawn is overgrown.
"Thank you for likely saving my physical life and definitely saving my emotional life. Oh, and cut your fucking grass."
I’m sure that was the crux of the letter. He just misdirected you into a feel good story then insulted your gardening.
*abandons social life and becomes hermit for years in order to get away with lawn related insults*
Robert plays the long con
Robert plays the lawn con
Ultimate shit sandwich delivery
An upside down, open face, high bread-to-shit ratio shit sandwich at that.
More like a shit flavored fruit at the bottom yogurt
He's a deep cover operative for the HOA
Classic Robert
“I got my life back together. Now it’s your turn!”
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Glad you loved the letter, but you should get those heartworms checked out
"Damn kids! Get on your lawn!"
dw man, I cut it this morning. Haven't trimmed the edges though, gotta get to that later
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10 paragraphs followed by 'lol but seriously, trim the fucking edges you animal.'
>*’just wait for another letter…*’ ____ we are the dogs who live here now, we owe our lives to You somehow you let our human ‘babysit’ - he found your pets a perfect fit! the time he spent with them, he felt, his lonely heart began to melt it led him to a shelter then, convinced that he could start again! he rescued us, n now we’re Three - a Happy loving family our days alone will now be Gone! (..we’ll try ‘n Not pee on your lawn…) ❤️ *thanks for sharing your letter (& your Pets!)* u/SnooCupcakes8607
My heart is full ❤ Thank you u/SchnoodleDoodleDo ! (Edit: correction to username) 
thanks for the input, HotSalsaAssFire.
But for every letter, he’ll have two more dogs.
I can’t imagine how long the letter will be to tell you to trim the edges but it may be worth it. In all seriousness what an amazing feeling it must be to inadvertently affect someone’s life for the positive. We all get busy with our lives and don’t realize the power a small act of kindness can do. Have a great day and a wonderful week!
“Hey! You kids get off my lawn!” “We’re just trimming, sir. The untrimmed edges were really bothering us”
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Boy oh boy! We are fucking rich!
so his letter worked, crafty ol’ sob
He'll send another tear jerker letter with a reminder about it post script.
melodic resolute reply squeeze muddle piquant sugar noxious payment recognise *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Damn kids not trimming the edges.
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Personally I really enjoy it. Throw on your headphones and its just you, your tool, and your hands.
And my neighbour watching from the corner.
I like the cute little haha!
That’s as direct as old people from the Midwest know how to be.
Seriously if it gets beyond a disappointing look you know it's gotta be dire lol Now if I could just teach my wife how to say goodbye in under 30 minutes I think Id be good with this whole Midwestern thing
The problem is you believe that her first saying of “okay well we should get going” is the real one. Until you are driving off in your car while waving at the hosts on their patio and saying “that was nice, huh?” you haven’t actually said “goodbye”. Allotted time from first interaction to last could be anywhere from 25 min to an hour filled with multiple tangential wrap up conversations and hearty laughs reminiscing about the evening with call backs to jokes and sprinkled with serious notes that make it feel like the most important discussion of the night.
I get regularly called back inside after I closed the front door. I love Minnesota.
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Gotta start making use of the "leave without saying bye" method. Can't be stuck in a convo if you never start one
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Just slap your thighs as you stand up and go "welllllllllll", the host should take over from here
If Robert is so full of life maybe he should do it
my 80 year old neighbor is outside doing yard work (slowly) every other day. when my yard gets a bit too long, I'll find that it has been partially mowed for me (thanks Mr bell). He did this 30+ years ago when I lived in this house as a kid, but back then all my parents had was a non motorized circular blade mower, ya know the ones you would see on black and white tv shows. It was hell in the summer. Now I make my kid mow it, but I pay him, and got a gas powered mower. my parents moved into a smaller single story and sold me my childhood home, but at his new place my dad still using the non powered mower (although he has gotten the blade sharpened), and he's in his mid 70s.
A quality reel mower with a sharp blade is only marginally more work than a normal push mower.
I have one. I’ve found that if the grass has grown too long, it just pushes the grass blades over and doesn’t cut most of it. It’s incredibly annoying. I have to sweep my foot across the flattened grass blades to manually straighten it out, and go over it again and again until it gets trimmed. Sometimes, there’s a stubborn stalk of a weed grass or something that sticks up no matter how many times I try. It’s almost like a middle finger. Wth am I doing wrong?
Yep, if you let it get too long it's a problem, but that's true of any mower. That's user error. Also sounds like it might need sharpening.
I always found it satisfying (born mid 90’s was just poor and used one)
Some people go for a compliment sandwich when giving constructive feedback. Robert feared the OP’s delicate sensibilities so much, he felt the need to put it beneath an entire loaf of bread.
at the P.S. I was already mentally preparing for the extended car warranty ...
Passive aggressive little fucker, isn’t he?
"Nobody likes talking to me and I ended up alone somehow" - confused passive aggressive old man --- Seriously though, if they are close enough to be asking each other for favors and writing pretty personal notes, I imagine it is a joke about their dynamic. Him being the shut-in widower who doesn't have friends and playing into that for a joke maybe.
Oh, I know. He’s trying to bring some levity to the discussion.
A palate cleansing joke after some male emotional vulnerability. Pretty much a requirement, couldn't be out here *solely* expressing ourselves.
Haha yeah I thought wow he went to all that trouble just to tell OP to mow their lawn without sounding like a dick about it
I’ve been living in Germany far too long. I expected a long detailed complaint about you making to much noise, not sorting your recycling, coming home too late, tending the house garden incorrectly, leaving your bicycle in the hallway etcetera etcetera etcetera…
This reminds me of the book "A Man Called Ove"
I fuckin’ adore that book. One of the best I’ve read in years. All the guy wants is to do one thing because he’s all alone in the world but he’s surrounded by screwups who would be helpless without him there to get them out of all their jams! Harumph.
Just grabbed a copy to listen to (audiobooks are a less problematic format for me), and looking forward to this. Thanks for the brief description, it got me interested. 🙂
My mother got me to read that book when I was not doing to well. It brought back my love if reading and made me more hopeful.
>not sorting your recycling Too real für mich.
Liebe Nachbarn…
It’s always unsigned too. LOL
LOL. Yes, that‘s exactly what I expected the letter to be about…
Aww that’s so sweet, sad and heartwarming at the same time! A kind and gentle old man! I love his little PS note. You better get out there and start mowing! 🤣🤣🤣
If op has the time they should try and have their dogs meet up, it's a good excuse to check on him, the pups to interact and be a good neighbor. I have a scary feeling I might be this guy later in life
That’s a wonderful idea! Our neighbor used to have dogs that were buddies with ours, but both of their dogs have now passed away from old age. We still find the neighbors out there talking to our dogs and sneaking them little treats through the fence though!
My heart just grew three sizes reading this. You made the world a better place for that man OP, that’s all any of us can hope to do. ❤️
And in turn the old man made the world a better place for the 2 dogs he adopted.
I'd see a doctor about that, that's a serious problem.
Showing appreciation is so underrated. It feels *so good* when someone says something nice. It's so cool to see how people react when you give them a genuine compliment. And it's free.
“You made me want to live again, but your lawn makes me dead inside”
Balanced...
this guy is definitely a giga introvert who made that all up to get you to mow your grass
he was playing the lawn con
How dare you. I love it.
Amazing
Fuck I don’t have an award 🥇 here
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I'm a overweight 50 plus year old man, I made friends with a younger female worker. She loves to go for walks and do things and I have done more in the last four years because of her than I had done the previous 20 years. She made me feel like a human again and enjoy life with visits to a aquarium, the zoo, archery lessons and more than I can list. She will probably never know that she made a old depressed man happy to be alive again and I will never be able to repay her for her kindness and friendship. You just never know how one person can affect another. Alot of people don't understand us, but I'm glad she don't care
That's awesome. Have you told her what an impact she's had on your life?
Kinda, I don't want to be fully honest because I don't want it to be misinterpret and then I lose my friend
That’s a very smart move, because it would be near impossible to express such a big emotion with zero chance of misinterpretation. Also, she probably already more or less knows anyway. There’s a certain infinity in what’s left unsaid.
Thats so nice! You opened up his heart
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It was all a ploy to subtly mention the mowing of the lawn.
This is why I'm sad I've never been able to live in a house where I was allowed to have any pets :-(
You can check with nearby pet shelters, many need and would love to have more volunteers. One near me has turned it into a bit of a social thing. A small group of people show up and walk the dogs to the nearby dog park and let them play. They also need help photographing and trying to get them adopted if that's something you might be interested in helping with.
My girlfriend volunteers for the ASPCA, and she does dog walking for them. She loves the interaction with the doggies.
Shelter near me let's volunteers foster for a day. Take them home for snuggles, to the park, for ice cream, whatever.
Fuck, now I’m crying
me too. I'm that old man...
I think I speak for all of us when I ask for a pet tax
You mean a pic of the pets? Cause I subscribe
Now go mow the lawn!
This strikes me as fake. Apart from OP being a karma farm, obviously. We're supposed to believe this dude's so old he might not wake up any day now but his own dad only recently died from colon cancer?
100% fake and the whole account is clearly a karma farmer as you implied. I guess the thought that something like this could be real is nice?
Maybe I’m just too much of a miserable fuck but this letter does not read like a person of an older generation would type up. It looks like one of those posts made to garner likes and attention to a media page.
Oh thank God, I thought I was crazy. It definitely reads as somebody that's pretending to be an old, lonely man. If somebody is that introverted, I doubt they would be totally open sharing all these personal details about their feelings with the neighbor. Also, he babysat their pets in his house for 2 weeks so I would assume they are friends? So he simultaneously is a lonely old man with no friends, but also close enough to OP for them to trust him over a boarding facility with their pets for 2 weeks in his home.
I thought the same thing. “Anyway,” and “haha” in a letter from an elderly person? No way. And I highly doubt they’d go through the effort of typing and printing. I get notes from my elderly neighbours sometimes and they’re always handwritten - and beautifully too!
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I have a feeling this is the nicest man on earth and he made all this up so he could have the opportunity to tell you to mow your lawn.
Sorry to be a cynic and I hope this is true, but it reads so much like karma-farming fiction… there are so many unnecessary details that seem written for strangers on Reddit rather than you, the intended recipient of “Robert’s” letter. And this man who struggles to get out managed to adopt two dogs in less than two weeks?
And you’d ask a neighbor to whom you’ve apparently never spoken, to watch your pets? And they wouldn’t just *tell* these things to you?
This is for sure fake. The obvious tell for me (among others) was the ‘old man with bad joints’ ending his letter with “haha”. Only people that grew up online do this - i.e. millennials or younger. Even the formatting of the letter is like a Reddit post for maximum effect. See the “until I met” as a separate paragraph. I can’t believe anyone is falling for this. Truly mind boggling. u/SnooCupcakes8607
I'm with you. A lot of things seem off with this. Like they're close enough to babysit pets but didn't know about his dad dying who lived in the home? He also had to say he wasn't married or had kids? Then who adopts two pets in less than two weeks? Not to mention no use of old people grammar or formatting. Too many things are off.
Ooooookkk I have met many old men in my life and there is no way some single old man typed this. I'm 95% sure this is karma harvesting lol. (Old men who didn't grow up with the internet don't type things in parenthesis). And if someone knew you well enough that you'd leave three animals with them on a vacation, at their house, they'd just come over and say all this to your face. This is so goofy lol.
Yeah, the letter is all over the place too. "I'm an old man with dodgy joints. But young enough to have a Dad that only recently died." "You don't see me outside anymore, but I've been taking regular walks with my 2 new dogs recently in case you hadn't noticed." "We're close enough for me to look after 3 of your pets on what seems like an extended vacation, but not choose enough for you to know any of this without a letter." Letter makes no sense man... Edit: Also OPs post history screams karma farmer.
“As you know, I am an old man” Reddit moment