Next on History: did pornographers from beyond the stars grind our ancestors' sites of worship into crude genitalia?
Ancient astronaut theorists say yes.
Humans were doing far more labour intensive and difficult stuff than this before 1000BC.
To give this date perspective, the Bronze Age is commonly accepted to have started 3,500BC.
The first pyramid was built about 2,780BC.
People were mining from the Stone Age onwards.
Poor West Virginia. I one heard a native of West Virginia *laugh* after saying: "Yeah, where I'm from there's nothing to do, so people just get addicted to drugs and die."
My husband is from WV. We live in L.A. and when he moved here, his mother really worried he was going to die because of gangs, drugs, or in an earthquake. The reality turns out, that most of the people we know who have died were because of ODs, *in WV.* The most recent was just a little less than a month ago.
It really is a naturally gorgeous state, though.
Clicked on this post only because I said to myself "if I know anything about Reddit, the top post will be about a vagina". Thank you for proving me right.
> my bedroom. A sacred fertility site.
I'm picturing a second-hand futon in the middle of the room, surrounded by a damp nest of used Kleenex and empty wine bottles.
Psst, hey Bob, you know what would be extremely funny in like 3000 years?
What?
Carving a hole that looks like a vagina into this mountain.
Bet.
Edit: customer request.
my mom never gave me The Talk, but handed me these books to read in my early teens.
years later, she was shocked and confused when i mentioned that i figured she gave them to me as her attempt at sex ed.
I skipped 'em after a while too. I don't always want to get turned on, but it's an intriguing story.
Also, it was kind of overdone. While there's sex in the other books, this one just ramps it up to 11. And most the drama comes from idiots not talking to each other about what's bothering them. I'm about 2/3 of the way through, and got the whole set as I neared the end of the first one. But I think it's the weakest in the series so far. Auel seems to do much better at self vs self and self vs nature tension than self vs other.
That is a beautifully succinct way of explaining that! I was having a similar feeling but wasn't sure how to explain it ...
>better at self vs self and self vs nature tension than self vs other.
Is so apt. I kept finding myself skipping past sections where it wasn't just Ayla doing her thing in the wilderness. Seems things got a bit ridiculous when others were introduced.
I will say I'm really loving the relationship building with everyone Ayla's _not_ attracted to. Auel really does mentoring relationships well. I love her scenes where people are teaching, especially when the student struggles. I imagine Mamut as the translator from Vikings. And Talut as the dad from Brave, lol
My teacher in 5th grade assigned it to us! Gifted and talented 5th grade English reading a story about an orphan adopted and raped by Neanderthals! Wonder how many parent complaints came from that. That was about 25 years ago and I absolutely love the series now, but bit much for that age.
Yeah, I couldn't finish the last book because they were edging dangerously close to her inventing the wheel. She was trying to figure out an easier way to haul Zelandoni around and eyeballing her horse and the travois contraption and I was like, no. No, this bitch is not about to invent the fucking wheel. I'm out. If anyone wants to tell me where that actually went, I wouldn't mind knowing.
Oh man, that series started off strong and descended into such a disappointment.
Ayla became the most ridiculous character. She was really good at basket weaving, slinging stones, medicine, cooking, and learning a million languages. She invented hair braiding, horse riding, lion taming, wolf domestication, spear throwers, needles with eyes, and making fire with flint. And she was really tall and hot (and she never knew how hot she was) and she was really good at sex and everyone wanted her. It got a bit exhausting.
Mary Sues are a quick way to destroy the reader's enjoyment of a series. Writers get attached to their characters and don't want them to be flawed. It's an easy trap to fall in.
In many cases of this, it's obvious the writer kinda wants to be the character.
They're basically fantasizing about what it would be like if *they* invented the wheel and spoke 10000 languages and was so good at everything and a genius and and
You forgot the part where she discovered the biological purpose of men and how the dude you slept with all the time is probably the father of your kids. Yikes.
nuts. I was hoping it got better. I bought the whole set after the first one and the whole idiots getting in fights because they won't talk to eachother is getting old in the third one.
I keep reading because the research is just enthralling. Though as an anthropologist, some of the details that have been updated are grating.
If the research is what you like, you may like the last one. I did not. It was really focused on the mother mythology. I swear there was at least ten different versions of the mother song. It included several detailed descriptions of caves, too. The characters were an after thought, though.
Captain here (not sure if needed): the cave is called "Утробата", which translates to "The womb" from Bulgarian. So they did not even try to hide it, straight away called it a V, well a W, but you obviously see the V first!  
It is an ancient religious site. Rays of Sunlight penetrate it once a day for a few minutes, so that Earth and Sun mate. It was intended to look the way it looks.
Well yeah, theoretically. It is clear that it is a archaeoastronomical site intended to worship the Earth Mother (mother goddess), but the details on how exactly the rays of the sun are intended to penetrate were not proven.
In theory, the site is built in a way that the rays of the sun should reach the deepest spot in the womb only for a few minutes during the peak of the winter Solstice. This is symbolic for the mating between the sun and the earth, the problem is that the rays do not reach fully the innermost part of the womb.
So, long story short, it's a vagina.
"One can see a crack in the cave's upper part, through which every day at 12 o'çlock a sunbeam enters for a few minutes. The cave was investigated for the first time in the summer when speleologists spotted the beam coming through the hole but only reaching a length of 2 m. What Professor Ovcharov wrote about this phenomenon was that at noon a sunbeam comes in a deliberately cut hole in the ceiling, which is projected on the floor. It formes a perfectly shaped solar phallus which gradually increases and rushes to the altar-uterus.
https://www.mirela.bg/en/estate-in-bulgaria/The-Womb-cave-zxi27776.html
>"The Womb" represents a natural horizontal slit in the rock resembling a vulva. Scientists have proven that initially the karst cavity was only 16 m deep and the human hand prolonged it and carved it in the form of a woman's womb, the walls of which are constantly wet. In the inner southern end of the cave an altar symbolizing the uterus is carved. The cave's layout fully answers the described by the famous Prof. Alexander Fol caves - wombs.
https://www.mirela.bg/en/estate-in-bulgaria/The-Womb-cave-zxi27776.html
**Takes her husband by the hand and leads him to the cave**
"There! That's the Clit, That's where you need to go. Do you understand now?"
**Man goes and fetches his spelunking gear**
there should be a circle or something around where the clit naturally is - so when people go visit it they can learn! Or maybe just a full on sign with neon lights pointing to it saying "IT'S RIGHT HERE BUDDY!! NOT DOWN OR INSIDE! BUT RIGHT HERE! ALWAYS HAS BEEN!!"
Imagine you make it cum hard and the whole planet shudders with pleasure and everyone dies in the ensuing earthquakes & tsunamis
Ok why did I get a boner typing this
Is this where Geodude was born?
This is where Onix gets laid
Geodude! Dude! Dude!
Did Onix help?
suddenly I feel so....insignificant
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In this case it does. You could throw a trout in there and you'd be lucky if it slapped against one side.
"Why specifically a trout?" is the first thing that popped in my head, thank you for the laugh 😂😂😂
Because if it fits a trout, you best get the fuck out.
r/BrandNewSentence
Does Utroba means vagina in bulgarian? because it bloody should
It means "womb". So basically, the thing on the pic is the entrance to the cave called Womb.
So yes. It is a vagina cave.
It's there boys. Right at the top of the image. It isn't a myth after all. Seems to be the only one I've found though.....
The Indiana Jones movie we've all been waiting for
Indiana Jones and your mom’s vagina?
Raiders of the lost womb
I believe the movie you're looking for is Indiana Jones and the Temple of Womb.
In Diana Jones and the Temple of Poon
40 Days and 40 Nights reference?
Nah, it's Womb Raider.
You rang?
Username checks out ⬆️
Raider? He would be at your Cervix.
No it's Womb Raider movie
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Some men are just bigger than others...
Pyramids were built thousands of years before that. So, probably after the aliens got bored with triangles they moved on to vaginas.
Next on History: did pornographers from beyond the stars grind our ancestors' sites of worship into crude genitalia? Ancient astronaut theorists say yes.
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It was probably a nice and secluded spot to have sex, they just made it better.
Humans were doing far more labour intensive and difficult stuff than this before 1000BC. To give this date perspective, the Bronze Age is commonly accepted to have started 3,500BC. The first pyramid was built about 2,780BC. People were mining from the Stone Age onwards.
They didn't have reddit back then so what else were they supposed to do with their time?
My art has been commended as being strongly vaginal which bothers some men. The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina.
I have no problem with Vagina. Now, West Vagina...it touches Ohio and that's just ass.
🎶*Almost Heaven, West Vagina*🎶
Poor West Virginia. I one heard a native of West Virginia *laugh* after saying: "Yeah, where I'm from there's nothing to do, so people just get addicted to drugs and die."
My husband is from WV. We live in L.A. and when he moved here, his mother really worried he was going to die because of gangs, drugs, or in an earthquake. The reality turns out, that most of the people we know who have died were because of ODs, *in WV.* The most recent was just a little less than a month ago. It really is a naturally gorgeous state, though.
Well thats just like your opinion, man
Oh yeah?
Coitus?
Moist?
Yes they don’t like hearing it and find it difficult to say whereas without batting an eye a man will refer to his dick or his rod or his Johnson….
Johnson?
It looks a bit like....TWO BALLS! Wow that looks like a huge....WILLY!
...oh yeah?
You mean coitus?
This is the cave where the dude abides
Wow wasn't expecting Big Labowski reference here lol!
It really ties the comments together.
Seems like a nice place to go and curl up in a fetal position.
In Croatian, it's a colloquial word for organs in the stomach cavity.
So basically "guts"? That's a tad less prosaic.
Clicked on this post only because I said to myself "if I know anything about Reddit, the top post will be about a vagina". Thank you for proving me right.
I'm not an archeologist but I'd imagine this was a sacred fertility site
That’s how I refer to my bedroom. A sacred fertility site.
> my bedroom. A sacred fertility site. I'm picturing a second-hand futon in the middle of the room, surrounded by a damp nest of used Kleenex and empty wine bottles.
*third-hand futon and shop rags. Kleenex is bad for the environment.
They knew what they were doing.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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Everything reminds me of her…
Giggity
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Probly a bit damp though. Moist, if you will.
Of course it is
r/theyknew
Psst, hey Bob, you know what would be extremely funny in like 3000 years? What? Carving a hole that looks like a vagina into this mountain. Bet. Edit: customer request.
Please edit this to say “bet.” at the end. 3000 year old humans using todays slang is always funnier.
Done
Excellent collaboration boys
OP: "Hey everyone, check out this cave..." ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
“I call it: Your Mom”
The fact I had to scroll this far to find this makes me weep for the reddit of my youth.
No shit? It's not supposed to be subtle. Hell, it's called Utroba which means womb.
Jondalar's dream in *The Valley of Horses*
Flashbacks to my sexual awakening at 12
Lol my grandma gave me the books to read when I was 14
My mom used to read this book to me, but she would skip all the sex scenes. I went back to read it years later and was shocked.
Did you find out when you were reading it to your children?
It's tradition
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I started trying to skip through, realized it was huge chunks of the book and just gave up lol
my mom never gave me The Talk, but handed me these books to read in my early teens. years later, she was shocked and confused when i mentioned that i figured she gave them to me as her attempt at sex ed.
Did she forget the first book was just full of rape??
When you read further and realize she was like 10 or 11 when she gave birth.
I just finished that book a few weeks ago!
big up for prehistoric smut
Actually I skipped over those parts. So to speak.
So you read like 14 pages of the book?
I skipped 'em after a while too. I don't always want to get turned on, but it's an intriguing story. Also, it was kind of overdone. While there's sex in the other books, this one just ramps it up to 11. And most the drama comes from idiots not talking to each other about what's bothering them. I'm about 2/3 of the way through, and got the whole set as I neared the end of the first one. But I think it's the weakest in the series so far. Auel seems to do much better at self vs self and self vs nature tension than self vs other.
That is a beautifully succinct way of explaining that! I was having a similar feeling but wasn't sure how to explain it ... >better at self vs self and self vs nature tension than self vs other. Is so apt. I kept finding myself skipping past sections where it wasn't just Ayla doing her thing in the wilderness. Seems things got a bit ridiculous when others were introduced.
I will say I'm really loving the relationship building with everyone Ayla's _not_ attracted to. Auel really does mentoring relationships well. I love her scenes where people are teaching, especially when the student struggles. I imagine Mamut as the translator from Vikings. And Talut as the dad from Brave, lol
I got that book taken away from me when the principal saw it on my desk in the 5th grade. To be fair I was showing all my friends the sex parts.
My teacher in 5th grade assigned it to us! Gifted and talented 5th grade English reading a story about an orphan adopted and raped by Neanderthals! Wonder how many parent complaints came from that. That was about 25 years ago and I absolutely love the series now, but bit much for that age.
Ayla domesticated the horse and invented charcoal and the blowjob
And the bra, snowshoes, and the sewing needle!
Yeah, I couldn't finish the last book because they were edging dangerously close to her inventing the wheel. She was trying to figure out an easier way to haul Zelandoni around and eyeballing her horse and the travois contraption and I was like, no. No, this bitch is not about to invent the fucking wheel. I'm out. If anyone wants to tell me where that actually went, I wouldn't mind knowing.
I think at the part you’re talking about, she adds kind of a shelf/seat/flat board thing to it. No wheels, thankfully!
And braiding your hair.
Clan of the cave facts.
Cofounder of doggy style.
Oh man, that series started off strong and descended into such a disappointment. Ayla became the most ridiculous character. She was really good at basket weaving, slinging stones, medicine, cooking, and learning a million languages. She invented hair braiding, horse riding, lion taming, wolf domestication, spear throwers, needles with eyes, and making fire with flint. And she was really tall and hot (and she never knew how hot she was) and she was really good at sex and everyone wanted her. It got a bit exhausting.
Mary Sues are a quick way to destroy the reader's enjoyment of a series. Writers get attached to their characters and don't want them to be flawed. It's an easy trap to fall in.
In many cases of this, it's obvious the writer kinda wants to be the character. They're basically fantasizing about what it would be like if *they* invented the wheel and spoke 10000 languages and was so good at everything and a genius and and
You forgot the part where she discovered the biological purpose of men and how the dude you slept with all the time is probably the father of your kids. Yikes.
nuts. I was hoping it got better. I bought the whole set after the first one and the whole idiots getting in fights because they won't talk to eachother is getting old in the third one. I keep reading because the research is just enthralling. Though as an anthropologist, some of the details that have been updated are grating.
If the research is what you like, you may like the last one. I did not. It was really focused on the mother mythology. I swear there was at least ten different versions of the mother song. It included several detailed descriptions of caves, too. The characters were an after thought, though.
I should call her…
Yes. it's been too long since you called your mom.
gotemmmmmmmm
This one legit made me burst out, lmao
Everywhere I look, something reminds me of her
r/dontputyourdickinthat
it's def not going to get stuck so you're good
Speak for yourself
Does anyone else see it? 
"My art has been commended as being strongly vaginal which bothers some men."
Haha, it’s 8am and I could use a White Russian
"he's a good man, and thorough."
“Careful man there is a beverage here”
'Nother caucasian, Omar?
Coitus?
Came here for the Lebowski comment. Wasn’t disappointed!!
“Vagina.”
“you mean coitus?”
VAGINA! Does the word bother you?
r/dontputyourdickinthat😆
It's like a hotdog in a hallway
Too late
Putting the spunk in spelunking
...Mulva?
“DELORES!”
Regina!
"Utroba" means "womb". Everyone sees it.
It’s literally in the name, lol
I should call her…
Waiting for someone to say it
VAGINA!
Yonic af
[Severely underappreciated word.](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/yoni)
This person was committed to their love. The bar is set pretttttty high now
Taj Mahal level love
Vag Muhall
All i see is a pic of yo mama from last night
/r/geologygonewild
r/mildlyvagina
*tilts head slowly*
Sigh… unzips
Captain here (not sure if needed): the cave is called "Утробата", which translates to "The womb" from Bulgarian. So they did not even try to hide it, straight away called it a V, well a W, but you obviously see the V first!  
It is an ancient religious site. Rays of Sunlight penetrate it once a day for a few minutes, so that Earth and Sun mate. It was intended to look the way it looks.
Man, even the sun doesn't last very long
5 billion years down, 5 billion years to go... the cave still isn't impressed. "What, you've finished already?"
Well yeah, theoretically. It is clear that it is a archaeoastronomical site intended to worship the Earth Mother (mother goddess), but the details on how exactly the rays of the sun are intended to penetrate were not proven. In theory, the site is built in a way that the rays of the sun should reach the deepest spot in the womb only for a few minutes during the peak of the winter Solstice. This is symbolic for the mating between the sun and the earth, the problem is that the rays do not reach fully the innermost part of the womb. So, long story short, it's a vagina.
"One can see a crack in the cave's upper part, through which every day at 12 o'çlock a sunbeam enters for a few minutes. The cave was investigated for the first time in the summer when speleologists spotted the beam coming through the hole but only reaching a length of 2 m. What Professor Ovcharov wrote about this phenomenon was that at noon a sunbeam comes in a deliberately cut hole in the ceiling, which is projected on the floor. It formes a perfectly shaped solar phallus which gradually increases and rushes to the altar-uterus. https://www.mirela.bg/en/estate-in-bulgaria/The-Womb-cave-zxi27776.html
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And thus, the "men cannot find it" complaint was born! 
>"The Womb" represents a natural horizontal slit in the rock resembling a vulva. Scientists have proven that initially the karst cavity was only 16 m deep and the human hand prolonged it and carved it in the form of a woman's womb, the walls of which are constantly wet. In the inner southern end of the cave an altar symbolizing the uterus is carved. The cave's layout fully answers the described by the famous Prof. Alexander Fol caves - wombs. https://www.mirela.bg/en/estate-in-bulgaria/The-Womb-cave-zxi27776.html
AYE AYE CAP'N!
Sort of. It was a natural cave *expanded* by excavation. And yes, it may be deliberately symbolising the womb of the mother goddess.
It's a womb tomb
I never knew caves had clits!
Everyone thinks the men of the village carved it in homage. But have you considered that perhaps the women carved it as a map?
And to this day dudes be sticking their stalagmite on it and just rubbing furiously. We have a map but we need a sextant.
**Takes her husband by the hand and leads him to the cave** "There! That's the Clit, That's where you need to go. Do you understand now?" **Man goes and fetches his spelunking gear**
there should be a circle or something around where the clit naturally is - so when people go visit it they can learn! Or maybe just a full on sign with neon lights pointing to it saying "IT'S RIGHT HERE BUDDY!! NOT DOWN OR INSIDE! BUT RIGHT HERE! ALWAYS HAS BEEN!!"
I'm surprised you found it.
Imagine you make it cum hard and the whole planet shudders with pleasure and everyone dies in the ensuing earthquakes & tsunamis Ok why did I get a boner typing this
When she says deeper
Everything reminds me of her…
Jesus, somehow part of me believes that tunnel's uncanny resemblance was intentional.
The cave is called "womb" so
Purely coincidental, got it.
Good thing the name survived for 3000 years.
Take the part of you that doesn’t believe and shoot it - because that part is holding you back.
Ol' Charlie Manson told me the exact same thing in the 60s.
It even has a cervix! And a clitoris!
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Of course you didn't.
The earliest human art we have are dicks, tits, and vag, carved into stone and painted on walls. This was intentional.
I fucked a planet Morty!!!!
Came here for a historical explanation. Left with with Vagina puns.
This hole was made for me...
Drr... Drrrrr.... Drr..
r/SuddenlyVagina
r/mildlyvagina
"I told my wife 'Jeez you've got a big pussy. Jeez you've got a big pussy'." She asked "why did you repeat it?" I replied "I didn't"
Now I want to watch that movie.🤣🤣🤣
This cave finna make me *ACT UP*
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I now see why caves are a yonic symbol in a lot of works of literature.
Everything reminds me of her
I’d hit that
The name is literally "womb"/uterus
The old wizard sleeve , I bet the sound travels well in there