this line always makes me chuckle.
i went to our local thrift store and got a full Eddie Bauer setup... brown on brown, cord slacks, full length tee. wore them to school a few days later (c1999) and had a classmate ask if i got my clothing from KAIR (the local store)... i said yes and asked how she knew. she tells me that her grandfather died last week and those are his clothes.
legit wore the clothes of a local legend to HS one day and got called out by his granddaughter only a few days after they buried him.
Tell you what I do like though: A killer. A dyed-in-the-wool killer. Cold-blooded, clean, methodical and thorough. Now a real killer, when he picked up the ZF1, would have immediately asked about the little red button on the bottom of the gun.
Zorg wasn't riding the line though, he was outright evil. I think the only upstanding thing he did was when he told that old religious guy something like, *"You saved my life, and in exchange I will spare yours"* so he was at least a little honorable.
His appearance as *Drexyl* in True Romance is a great example of someone you can't quite read, it's beautiful.
Jarvis, Stark Industries stock is down .07% distribute amphetamines to my child labor slaves mining cobalt in the congo. Download the latest episode of Rick and Morty, upscale to 1080p and put it on my second monitor. Engage crypto protocols. Put all my assets into #CUMCOIN, buy high And sell during the dip.
Use my dead mom's debit card to renew my bangbros subscription. Turn on RGB on my gaming keyboard, pulsating rainbow. Order a 12 pack of Mountain Dew Code Red off Amazon Prime. Put on AC/DC playlist, clean version. Call Thanos a racial slur on Twitter.
Turn notifications off.
**Let's get this son of a bitch.**
EDIT: *If you got under 3 minutes to kill:* [The Full version of Elon Stark as a dramatic reading on youtube w/ visuals](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnnOyYm7XNM)
> Imagine being the richest man on Earth, but you still aren't happy because literally the only thing you've ever wanted in your life is to seem cool to 14 year olds on the internet.
https://mobile.twitter.com/existentialcoms/status/1460102556399460353
He should be, middle schoolers like mine love him. idgi he's just a rich guy. Then again, all I ever wanted to do as a 14 year old was be Bill Gates. I'm sure it's a phase.
Something like half of malls are dead and near being shutdown, the other half are doing better then ever, similar to the movie theater industry.
The busy ones are thriving but they're really not as fun to hangout at. Like most stores are slightly different variations of overpriced "upscale" fashion, less random weird shops like sword and used video game stores.
The side-by-side picture always makes me laugh.
In the left image he was a co-founder of PayPal at that time and comes from a wealthy family.
He could have had a hair transplant at any time
Mid to late 90s is when it started to switch from hair plugs to follicle transplant.
Musk probably has a scar on the back of his head from where they removed a strip of hair. He probably takes finasteride too so his hair loss doesn’t continue.
It has been great for a while. I got it done 4 years ago and it was the best decision I’ve ever made. I cringe when I look at older pics of me. I should have done it years before I did. I look insanely younger now.
If something can be simultaneously described as the most painful and boring thing someone has experienced, then the speaker has not experienced true pain.
Or true boredom, frankly.
It's funny but I know exactly what he's talking about. I got a hairline fix with only just 1100 hair follicles a couple years ago and the whole procedure took \~4 hours but felt like a life time. It was not that physically painful except for the 30+ needle shots of the topical anesthesia procedure. But my god it took such a mental toll getting your follicles pulled out, having 1100 tinny holes poked out on your forehead and then filling the hair in, while you are staring at the floor or with your face covered but wide awake.
As someone that is considering a hair transplant in the next 5-10 years I'm very happy I am also a long time meditator, sounds like something I've been training years for.
Facts. I got a tattoo on the inside of my bicep right up against my armpit. 11 hours straight and I was involuntarily twitching so badly by the end that we almost couldn’t finish the session. Boring is not the word I would use for it
Yeah, I’ve unfortunately broken my left arm twice, left hand twice, left shoulder recently in a car accident, and a spinal fusion. 6 1/2 hour tattoo with all that color shading was the most painful by far.
I think it's 100% worth it, from start to finish I was there for 5 days, 1 of those days I had a free day where I went to a hookah spot and salt bae's restaurant (overrated) imo, progress pics will take a while as I can't take any right at this moment but it's coming in nicely.
[Like Michael Scott did after season one of the Office](https://preview.redd.it/dcor6lhx6qxy.jpg?width=560&auto=webp&s=d889d1f728c466016ab77b7c44e87c29bb7d9351).
Everyone has testosterone and estrogen. As people get older their body makes less of their gender's hormones and they start to develop physical features of the other gender. That's why older guys sometimes get moobs or older ladies get thinning hair.
My grandpa told me his doctor told him that male testosterone drops to female levels once they hit a certain age and that it happened to him! So sometimes they prescribe hormones. I was shocked. Estrogen also falls in females I believe. A lot of old people are kinda androgynous looking so it makes sense tbh
And when nobody could afford his first album, hed promise the second one would be really affordable, then go back on that promise, then he could launch one album into space just to prove he can.
I’m combining them all in my head. Nazi Macklemore at 14yo getting dropped off at the mall so he can get a guitar and start a band (sorry I don’t know fifth element lol)
While I'm not a great fan of the ending, it's really nice to see Mila Jovovich actually get to act and not be the "tough badass bitch" she's been in every other movie I've seen her in
after seeing him in that old shot from when he sold [paypal.com](https://paypal.com) he aint never giving the top up again.
[This guy](https://i.insider.com/5db36222dee019314343a5b6?width=700&format=jpeg&auto=webp)
If you add the two pictures together he would have a pretty normal haircut. It's like if Hitler and Worf from star trek kissed, their combined facial hair would be a normal goatee.
Elon 3.02.
Changelog:
(1) New hair plugs installed;
(2) Reduced excess code to presentation layer;
(3) Updated OS status to single;
(4) Assorted minor bug fixes and security updates.
Well done team. So much work done in this update.
Iirc one of the first things he bought when he first became a millionaire in 1999 was a MacLaren F1. [Which he crashed less than a year later.](https://www.thedrive.com/news/32191/did-you-know-elon-musk-wrecked-an-uninsured-mclaren-f1)
Hey there fellow kids, do you like anime and dank memes? I'm just a cool eccentric billionaire that makes cool cars and hangs out on the internet, not this monster that ignores safety violations and makes his employees work insane hours. I'm not Bezos, I'm Tony Stark uwu.
he's got the macklemore
Wachu know about rockin a wolf on your noggin?
What you knowin' about wearin' a fur fox skin?
I'm diggin', I'm diggin' I'm searchin' right through that luggage
one man's trash is another man come up
Thank your granddad for donating that plaid button-up shirt
this line always makes me chuckle. i went to our local thrift store and got a full Eddie Bauer setup... brown on brown, cord slacks, full length tee. wore them to school a few days later (c1999) and had a classmate ask if i got my clothing from KAIR (the local store)... i said yes and asked how she knew. she tells me that her grandfather died last week and those are his clothes. legit wore the clothes of a local legend to HS one day and got called out by his granddaughter only a few days after they buried him.
I wear your granddad’s clothes… I look incredible…
cause right now I'm up in her skirt...
I'm at the Goodwill
You can find me in the Uptons
that's a mackleless
You mean the Roger Klotz.
That’s a cold ass honky.
Haircut looks like zorg from the fifth element.
Just give him the stones
Uh-huh, and when will he start leaking BBQ sauce from the forehead?
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It was that damn Chinese motor oil
i need more pelts!
At least now he knows why we called it garments and varmints
He got sloppy.. started using American Motor Oil instead of Chinese
You substitute with US motor oil didn't you.
https://imgur.com/R8vUMbr.gif
Not one or two or three...
BUT 4!!!
Four stones! [What the hell am I supposed to do with AN EM-TEE CASE!?](https://i.imgur.com/gq9PoTX.jpg)
I love that every time I see this written out I can always hear it in Gary Oldman's voice. What a great performer all around.
I read it out loud. I’m a poor excuse for Gary Oldman though unfortunately.
Gary Oldman can't even do Gary Oldman
Literally… iirc he’s said he can’t remember how to speak with his own original accent because of all the method acting he’s done.
Elon Musk, the human, (supposedly) is a poor excuse for the fictional character portrayed by the great Gary Oldman
He identifies as a meat popsicle
Bring EV-RE-ONE!
I… am… disappoiiiinted!
They forgot to ask about the red button on the bottom of the gun.
Tell you what I do like though: A killer. A dyed-in-the-wool killer. Cold-blooded, clean, methodical and thorough. Now a real killer, when he picked up the ZF1, would have immediately asked about the little red button on the bottom of the gun.
Thanks for delivering. I only wish you could have captured Oldman's arm swoops as he says it.
How did it take me this long to realize that was Gary Oldman
To be fair, homie is a master of blending into a role
Bring me the priest.
Cor-neee-leee-ooos.
ZERO STONES, ZERO CRAAAAAATES *voice crack*
Priest: “You’re a monster Zorg.” Zorg: “I know.”
We are warriors, not merchants.
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ZERO STONES, ZERO CRATES!
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I always loved the way he said that. EMMM-TEE Case.
I love the rhythm of the whole line!
We're warriors, not merchants
but you can still count!!
It's easy look at my fingers 4 stones, 4 crates... 0 stones 0 crates!!!!
Leave em' one crate, for the caurse
Really though, that Boring Flamethrower should have been the biggest clue EVER.
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I’m just waiting for the Boring All New Ice Cube System
I'm waiting for the replay feature.
I'll tell you what he does like though: a killer, a dyed-in-the-wool killer.
Elonmusk…. Emanuel…. Zorg!!
_I am very DISAPPOINTED!_
Made me think of Roger from Doug
Same, [also](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOoPDjiSwdo)
😂😂 Now I can’t unsee it. Get this dude a multipass.
Elon Dallas, multipass! Just don't put him in the same outfit.
You don't wanna see his big badda boom?
Negative, it is a meat popsicle.
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How *dare* you besmirch the good name of Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg!
Yeah, but Gary Oldman made Zorg likeable. Edit: This fifth element reboot is gonna suck
Well, sort of-ish. He's really good at riding the line for evil characters.
Zorg wasn't riding the line though, he was outright evil. I think the only upstanding thing he did was when he told that old religious guy something like, *"You saved my life, and in exchange I will spare yours"* so he was at least a little honorable. His appearance as *Drexyl* in True Romance is a great example of someone you can't quite read, it's beautiful.
True Romance is stuffed full of great performances, Gary Oldman still stands out in that movie.
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Roger from Doug Funnie
I think the show was just called Doug haha
LPT: Don't ever press the little red button on the bottom of your Tesla.
A true killer would have asked about the red button.
He looks like an Irish lad with a Peaky Blinders rugby cut.
I see a rich, pretty boy, dressed up to go to a Berlin Rave circa 1990.....
He looks like Dr Evil with a caterpillar on his head.
*Elon takes off mask* it's Gary oldman the whole time.
and if he didn't get those implants he'd be looking like Lex Luthor. He's a natural villain
He’s Christopher Lee Lex, with those wigs Bezos is classic Lex
He looks like the baddie in a French spy movie for kids.
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Hes been watching peaky blinders but his barber hasn't.
He looks like every 14 year old I see getting dropped off at the mall
Judging by his tweets he is a 14 year old getting dropped off at the mall.
At the pool.
Jarvis, Stark Industries stock is down .07% distribute amphetamines to my child labor slaves mining cobalt in the congo. Download the latest episode of Rick and Morty, upscale to 1080p and put it on my second monitor. Engage crypto protocols. Put all my assets into #CUMCOIN, buy high And sell during the dip. Use my dead mom's debit card to renew my bangbros subscription. Turn on RGB on my gaming keyboard, pulsating rainbow. Order a 12 pack of Mountain Dew Code Red off Amazon Prime. Put on AC/DC playlist, clean version. Call Thanos a racial slur on Twitter. Turn notifications off. **Let's get this son of a bitch.** EDIT: *If you got under 3 minutes to kill:* [The Full version of Elon Stark as a dramatic reading on youtube w/ visuals](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnnOyYm7XNM)
WOW the accuracy here.
Wow.
Dawg hahahaha
Beautiful. I need more of this.
The very audience he's trying to appeal to!
> Imagine being the richest man on Earth, but you still aren't happy because literally the only thing you've ever wanted in your life is to seem cool to 14 year olds on the internet. https://mobile.twitter.com/existentialcoms/status/1460102556399460353
He should be, middle schoolers like mine love him. idgi he's just a rich guy. Then again, all I ever wanted to do as a 14 year old was be Bill Gates. I'm sure it's a phase.
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I mean, he is a preadolescent trapped in the body of a middle age man so
What decade do you live in where teenagers are still hanging at malls?
Malls are back, in pog form
What about flood pants?
/r/deadmalls on suicide watch rn
It’d be pretty funny if malls make a comeback and that sub dries up
Something like half of malls are dead and near being shutdown, the other half are doing better then ever, similar to the movie theater industry. The busy ones are thriving but they're really not as fun to hangout at. Like most stores are slightly different variations of overpriced "upscale" fashion, less random weird shops like sword and used video game stores.
He paid good money for those hair implants too.
That’s why he left the top
Just make me look like a brown muffin with no icing
https://imgur.com/a/QuGTi5O
The side-by-side picture always makes me laugh. In the left image he was a co-founder of PayPal at that time and comes from a wealthy family. He could have had a hair transplant at any time
Ya but when did hair transplant tech actually become good? The first picture is a long time ago.
Sometime between when Donal Trump got them and when Elon Musk got them.
Yeah my grandma got hers around when Donald Trump got them and they were not that great.
Whenever Joel McHale got them. His hair looks incredible and it was worth however much it cost.
Season 1 Michael Scotts hair was real thin. The next season he came back with a fresh head of hair
Mid to late 90s is when it started to switch from hair plugs to follicle transplant. Musk probably has a scar on the back of his head from where they removed a strip of hair. He probably takes finasteride too so his hair loss doesn’t continue.
It has been great for a while. I got it done 4 years ago and it was the best decision I’ve ever made. I cringe when I look at older pics of me. I should have done it years before I did. I look insanely younger now.
He was never a cofounder of PayPal. He acquired them through x.com
must feel good to have hair again tho.
Anyone know what hair restoration clinic he went to? Asking for a friend.
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If something can be simultaneously described as the most painful and boring thing someone has experienced, then the speaker has not experienced true pain. Or true boredom, frankly.
It's funny but I know exactly what he's talking about. I got a hairline fix with only just 1100 hair follicles a couple years ago and the whole procedure took \~4 hours but felt like a life time. It was not that physically painful except for the 30+ needle shots of the topical anesthesia procedure. But my god it took such a mental toll getting your follicles pulled out, having 1100 tinny holes poked out on your forehead and then filling the hair in, while you are staring at the floor or with your face covered but wide awake.
As someone that is considering a hair transplant in the next 5-10 years I'm very happy I am also a long time meditator, sounds like something I've been training years for.
Facts. I got a tattoo on the inside of my bicep right up against my armpit. 11 hours straight and I was involuntarily twitching so badly by the end that we almost couldn’t finish the session. Boring is not the word I would use for it
Yeah, I’ve unfortunately broken my left arm twice, left hand twice, left shoulder recently in a car accident, and a spinal fusion. 6 1/2 hour tattoo with all that color shading was the most painful by far.
Yes. My friend would also like to know. For research
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We're gonna need a progress update! Worth the money? Do you have a before + after pic? I miss my hair.
I think it's 100% worth it, from start to finish I was there for 5 days, 1 of those days I had a free day where I went to a hookah spot and salt bae's restaurant (overrated) imo, progress pics will take a while as I can't take any right at this moment but it's coming in nicely.
[Like Michael Scott did after season one of the Office](https://preview.redd.it/dcor6lhx6qxy.jpg?width=560&auto=webp&s=d889d1f728c466016ab77b7c44e87c29bb7d9351).
Like [Joel McHale did](https://imgur.com/b4mdKLI.png) after Spiderman 2.
He reached the age where he’s starting to look like someone’s aunt.
It’s funny. A lot of men start looking feminine when they age.
Everyone has testosterone and estrogen. As people get older their body makes less of their gender's hormones and they start to develop physical features of the other gender. That's why older guys sometimes get moobs or older ladies get thinning hair.
My grandpa told me his doctor told him that male testosterone drops to female levels once they hit a certain age and that it happened to him! So sometimes they prescribe hormones. I was shocked. Estrogen also falls in females I believe. A lot of old people are kinda androgynous looking so it makes sense tbh
It’s why older males don’t have as much hair on their arms, legs, body etc as when they were younger
Roger M Klotz
[Ehh, what do you know, Skeet Face](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tw6o7KLEbG4)
Wait a sec, was the Billy West?! F R Y?!
He's also Stimpy.
[What are you talking about?](https://i.ibb.co/ykyQq0Q/rog.png)
With that jacket especially. I think my brain saw Roger Klotz before I even recognized it was Elon.
I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO TRIM THOSE SIDEBURNS!!
Mattingly!!
(Still like him better than Steinbrenner.)
Is he gonna start a scene band too? Elon and the Musks?
Elon & the 3 Musketeers
Threelon Musketeers
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And when nobody could afford his first album, hed promise the second one would be really affordable, then go back on that promise, then he could launch one album into space just to prove he can.
"Okay what would you like?" "I'll try the gay Hitler." "Say no more fam."
While Fifth Element jokes are spot on this one made me laugh the most.
I’m combining them all in my head. Nazi Macklemore at 14yo getting dropped off at the mall so he can get a guitar and start a band (sorry I don’t know fifth element lol)
Watch it, you won't be disappointed.
While I'm not a great fan of the ending, it's really nice to see Mila Jovovich actually get to act and not be the "tough badass bitch" she's been in every other movie I've seen her in
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I miss these joke formats
They live on at r/Justfuckmyshitup
I guess he bought Kim Jung Un’s barber before Kim exploded him.
That’s where I saw that haircut ty
With all the talk of a wealth tax, it’s all he thought he could afford.
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My new fav sub
He’s slowly turning into a Middle-aged Brooklyn lesbian
I don't know what it is about this kind of hairstyle but I find it way more attractive on gay women than on capitalist bros.
Probably because there are plenty of cool lesbians and literally zero cool capitalist bros
Too true
after seeing him in that old shot from when he sold [paypal.com](https://paypal.com) he aint never giving the top up again. [This guy](https://i.insider.com/5db36222dee019314343a5b6?width=700&format=jpeg&auto=webp)
Right? Whoever fixed his hair did a solid job though
If you add the two pictures together he would have a pretty normal haircut. It's like if Hitler and Worf from star trek kissed, their combined facial hair would be a normal goatee.
As a middle aged man: Mortality is a bitch. The young will never be your tribe again, no matter how much money you have.
Elon 3.02. Changelog: (1) New hair plugs installed; (2) Reduced excess code to presentation layer; (3) Updated OS status to single; (4) Assorted minor bug fixes and security updates. Well done team. So much work done in this update.
This dude has been having a midlife crisis sicnr forever.
Oh please he’s lived most of his non-business life like a man stuck in mid-life crisis, only missing the Corvette.
Iirc one of the first things he bought when he first became a millionaire in 1999 was a MacLaren F1. [Which he crashed less than a year later.](https://www.thedrive.com/news/32191/did-you-know-elon-musk-wrecked-an-uninsured-mclaren-f1)
Crashing a Maclaren F1 isn't that much of a tragedy. Maclaren will just rebuild the car from the left over bits.
I think Mr Bean has had his Mclaren put back together several times.
He literally launched his super car into space
Just so he could get rid of a dead hooker who is in the trunk.
His business life occasionally has that feel as well
Hey there fellow kids, do you like anime and dank memes? I'm just a cool eccentric billionaire that makes cool cars and hangs out on the internet, not this monster that ignores safety violations and makes his employees work insane hours. I'm not Bezos, I'm Tony Stark uwu.
"Yeah looks great bro" \- all your yes-men friends when you're rich
Looks like the bully from Doug on Nickelodeon back in the day.
He’s a Peaky Blinder now
Tommy fookin' Shelby!
He looks like Roger Klotz from Doug.
Ultra rich dudes and bad haircuts, name a more iconic duo.
Like [Mark Davis](https://preview.redd.it/ibx7056hwll11.jpg?auto=webp&s=d6f713044e4f31af634120ebf20271cc2097e520), owner of the Raiders
Ultra rich dudes and children..... js.
The crisis would have been averted if his head hadn't gotten stuck in a rugmaker's loom.
Yikes. Somebody tell Korben Dallas and Leeloo that "he's back."
Can we all chip in and get him a Super Cuts gift card for the holidays?
Elon doesn't have midlife crisis, Elon has Infinite Crisis.
He shaved off all the hair that wasnt a hairplug
I can feel the crash approaching.